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I'd have got potato chips but couldn't choose.

Shit!

- What? - I've been stung!

You're sure?

Yes, I'm sure.

What was it?

Shit...

It's swelling.

Your lip's like a steak!

I can't breathe.

- What? - Call an ambulance.

- What? - Or a doctor.

An ambulance or a doctor?

An ambulance or a doctor, right away.

An ambulance or a doctor...

Who do I call, an ambulance or a doctor?

That's typical of me. Paralyzed over a simple decision.

For 40 years now, I've been unable to choose.

Indecision runs in my family.

I don't know.

I'm hesitating.

This is Mum in '77.

That baby bump is me.

I don't tell you the sex?

It's not that.

I might not want to keep it.

But...

You're 7 months gone.

It's too late?

Yes, honey.

It's too late.

No wonder I could never choose.

I don't know.

Hurry, Juliette, who is it for?

I don't know.

We've warmed it 3 times.

I don't want to hurt anyone.

Final warning! Who's it for?

Uncle... Auntie.

Uncleauntie doesn't exist. Uncle or Auntie?

Auntie.

No, she's too fat already. I don't know.

Your daughter...

Richard...

It's not an easy task.

Mum made sure I understood

we don't make choices lightly.

See, Juliette, if she had chosen a normal car,

with a roof, her husband wouldn't be dead.

Stop talking crap to your daughter!

I loved those moments with Mum.

Unfortunately...

If she had taken the D909 instead of the A75,

she'd still be with us.

I told her though.

That day, July 7th, 1992,

I took my first and last true decision.

From that point on, I'd let my dad make all my choices.

All of them.

YOU CHOOSE!

How do you feel?

In your opinion?

Right, I forgot, you don't have one.

Your lack of opinion nearly killed me.

Not one opinion in 7 years.

No opinion on holidays, outings or food. Not one opinion!

Sometimes I have too many opinions and can't choose.

I'm tired, Juliette.

It's like having a kid.

By the way, do you want kids?

Not wishing to offend you, you need to decide.

I don't really know.

That's no fucking answer!

Since you let others decide, I'll make one last decision for you.

Don't move.

Is it sorted out, baby?

No more drip, no money spent on a plumber.

Great!

C'mon, gimme five.

She nearly high-fived me. You know,

I found a training tutorial on the Net.

- We're making progress. - Good.

There's no water at the sinks.

Hold on, Philippe,

did you cut the mains?

Yes. And the drip has stopped.

How do I do shampoos now?

Mummy always has to complain...

It's a drag, speaking to me via the cat. A real drag.

C'mon, Carol, gimme five.

Why didn't I buy him a watch instead?

Excuse me,

phone call for you.

I've told you before.

Lots of American customers.

Four hotels on the street, not to mention Airbnb.

Adapt, Audrey.

Yes.

I didn't get a word of that.

Yes.

Shit.

I'll be right there, ok.

A problem?

It's Juliette.

- I'll come too. - No.

Daddy can't come. It's a girls' problem.

See you later.

Got a compress, Audrey?

Your delivery.

- Where does this go? - Just here.

Hello!

Hello.

I'll get you something.

- Nice place. - Isn't it?

I'm out of cash.

I get stuff free so never use it.

You're lucky. What do you do?

A blog. Fashion, trends, useless stuff...

I test gear and write about what I like.

If you come back later, I'll explain.

- Ok. - 8 pm?

- 8 pm. - 8 pm is good.

Jo, guess what.

I never did a delivery guy.

That postman last summer doesn't count.

What?

Table 12.

A problem?

No, but I came two days ago

and lamb stew was the daily special then too.

I came last week and it was lamb stew too.

And last month, lamb stew too.

And?

Everything's fine...

Do you ever change specials?

Once a year.

Nina.

Bill for table 12.

Sonia! They're in the kitchen.

Thanks.

Talk to us, Juju.

What can she say? Cédric dumped her like a shit.

Thanks, Sonia, I realized.

He's right.

- What do you mean? - Cédric's right.

They all snap in the end.

First Benoît, then Pierre...

Pierre was hot.

Then Julien...

Him too.

They all said it.

I've heard it for years, but I can't sort it out.

Come on, Juju!

I couldn't even choose my own suicide.

Stop there. Suicide by clafoutis is a bad idea.

You'll get a huge ass.

I don't give a damn.

Come on!

I mean...

As for choices,

you can make them. You've done it before.

So why does Sonia tell me how to dress?

It's just a monthly plan.

This fringed top really suits you.

Your body's made for fringes.

You always pick my hairstyle.

Only natural, it's my job.

It's how we became friends.

I'm useless.

Know what, Juju?

Stay at my place a few days.

Juliette!

I'm sick of toilet rolls everywhere!

I'm out of tissues.

Use kitchen paper.

No, it makes my skin sore.

Two months. Two months of non-stop crying.

I adore her but I'm sick of it.

It's like minding a child.

You already have Philippe.

C'mon, Carole, gimme five.

I can have her for a while.

Please, for pity's sake, take her.

But it's best to find her a guy.

C'mon, babe.

Sit down. Honey...

How about it?

Time to get back in the saddle.

- I'm not ready. - You are.

- I'm not. - Of course you are.

I swear you are.

Hey, Jojo...

Carole nearly high-fived me.

Baby, I'm over the moon for you.

Don't sit, we're talking.

Ok, what about?

It's two months since Cédric. Forget him.

Enough now.

Philippe...

This is girl talk.

I don't mind.

Forget him, Ju. We girls have been dumb bitches for 2,000 years.

After a break-up,

we take time-out, we're scared to move on.

Only natural.

Guys never leave the game.

After it's over, we're history.

They fuck like pigs. Get back to the game.

Right.

Who'll want me? I'm 40, I'm old, I'm past it...

Past it? In that case, what's Jo?

- Screw you. - I'm helping her.

You're not helping me.

Am I past it?

- How do I look? - Like yourself.

That's your answer?

I'll find you a guy.

Better than Aladdin's lamp.

Meet Tinder, the best thing since the pill.

It's like a mag. Check out the pics one by one.

Swipe right when you find one you like.

When you get a match with another user's "like",

you get into contact with a girl or...

another girl.

I suppose anyhow. That's what I heard.

How do you know?

Mummy's very curious...

Well, I keep up to date, I read, I follow the news.

This one's hot.

He isn't.

He is!

I like that dimple.

Philippe, just go now.

Sorry!

Come on, Carole, Mummy wants us gone.

- Tony Blair? - No.

Yes, that's him.

Philippe!

There's loads of guys.

Loads.

- Horrible. - Fantastic!

No spelling mistakes on his profile. Good sign.

No, I don't want to.

I can manage, I'm not hopeless.

Of course you are. You can't make a decision alone.

Your next date!

Good evening.

Good evening.

It's me.

Good job you said you'd have the magazine.

I wouldn't have known you.

In any case, I'm relieved because...

- Ready to order? - The same.

I haven't chosen yet.

We'll think about it.

Are you English?

No, Scottish.

Same difference...

Never say that to a Scot.

In any case, I'm relieved. It's my first time on Tinder.

A friend chose for me.

Photos can be really misleading.

May I see it?

Sure. It's crazy, you're much better in real life.

It's a fun idea, choosing a bad photo.

It's not easy picking one.

Yes, you're right, it's not very...

glamorous.

I'm sorry, that wasn't planned.

I was more or less forced to.

Bergamot!

No. Juliette.

No, your perfume. Bergamot, magnolia,

a hint of citrus, red fruit... It's a Lady Caron?

Yes, my mum wore it. You're in perfume?

I wish. But I'm a banker.

Not the same thing.

If you're interested, I'm Paul. Paul MacCallaghan.

Juliette Blandin.

Less catchy.

Excuse me, I have...

a rather technical question.

Don't the French move tongues when they winch?

Sorry?

Yes, when they "winch". When they kiss, you mean.

It's true, we can move tongues but

there are two schools.

I was stressed. Otherwise, I do it. And pretty well too.

Ready now?

Make that two.

At 40, I have the life my dad had,

that his dad had at 40,

that his dad's dad had at 40.

How far back does that go?

My oldest ancestor knew I'd be called Paul,

work in a bank in London, wear this suit

and be a member of the same club as him.

What if we hadn't met earlier?

I'd have gone back to my hotel

to read a file on the sudden shift in danger money

in a context of low financial liquidity.

Sorry, I ruined a lovely evening.

You said it.

Now I'm in the world's most beautiful city with a young woman who...

Young?

How old are you?

You really think I'm 35?

I'm a gentleman. I'd say 40 but I knocked off 5.

Not very gentlemanly to tell me!

The Hôtel Providence...

- I don't... - Sorry.

- Go on. - You first.

I just wanted to tell you

I've had a great time, without expecting it.

I have to be up early tomorrow.

Me too, very early.

I'll get a cab.

I'm here tomorrow. We could...

Great, I'm free tomorrow. Perfect!

We winch?

Let's winch.

See you tomorrow.

- Well? - Well what?

Don't play that game with me.

Why the dumb smile?

- I'm not smiling. - You are.

- I'm not. - You are.

Come on, I want all the details.

It was great.

You screwed?

No, but...

Great without screwing?

- Don't tell me you're in love. - No, but...

You don't fall in love on Tinder!

It's against their rules!

- I'll be going. - Bye.

Ma'am...

Hold on a second.

- Your name again? - Gilles.

I just had a Gilles!

My granddad's name.

Crap excuse. Tell me, Gilles...

- Are you in love? - Who with?

Me, of course!

Go on, be honest.

- Right now? - Say it!

- Are you in love? - No.

- You don't fall in love on Tinder. - No.

She's fallen in love on Tinder!

What?

No, but...

Crazy, huh?

Tinder's for screwing.

Right!

- Exactly! - Bye.

Goodbye, sir.

You need 24 bottles of sparkling

and 24 of still.

That makes you happy?

Yes. No, but you mustn't forget.

Of course.

No!

Oh, no, I'd forgotten this...

Paris-Auvergne gala.

What a drag. Could you go for me?

Like the last 3 years?

- Why don't you go? - Why?

You're right. A bit of fun, dancing,

playing guitar with pals... Why bother?

I'm out tonight.

That's why you're in a good mood!

Maybe a Spissy Mango...

Tequila Old Fashion-nerd. Not bad.

It's Old Fashioned.

A Whisky Sewer...

Going to keep correcting me?

Or a Blue Lagoon with wassabi.

Not "wassabi", wasabi.

Let's stick to a Classic Mojito.

Yes, good idea. A Mojito...

Raspberry, strawberry or wirgin.

That was on purpose.

Don't mix drinks...

Three!

Talking of 3,

I handle my father's accounts.

Figures reassure me, see.

2 plus 2...

No, 4!

You don't have to think about it.

We didn't chink.

Gandalf, Lord of the Rings. I know him.

I said good health.

I mean...

Seriously, I've noticed.

When I drink and get a bit tipsy,

I know exactly what I want.

Drink disinhibits me.

But you can't drink around the clock.

I have an uncle who does.

Really?

What's your room like?

Well, it's a hotel room...

Very secretive... Is there electricity?

Running water? Curtains?

- Yes. - Curtains?

I love curtains. I'm a big curtain fan.

I really have to see them.

And don't go thinking I'm looking for an excuse

to be alone in your room with you.

Certainly not!

Fantastic, there's a bed too!

I got a room with a bed. It's handy.

Very handy!

Juliette...

What are you doing?

The thing is, you mustn't think too much.

You follow...

You follow your instincts.

My friends say so, especially Sonia. She's a fun girl.

I have to tell you something.

I'm listening.

Where do I begin?

I know where.

When'll you be back?

Juliette, I'm engaged.

In another bank?

- What? - Engaged in another bank?

No...

I'm...

You're getting married?

Her name's Emily.

Screw her name!

Why didn't you say?

You tell me after we have sex?

We weren't supposed to meet!

I wanted to tell you.

And then I told myself I could stop everything in time.

But you didn't give me any choice.

What? I didn't give you any choice?

Just a man.

Welcome to Auvergne!

I suppose you have Volvic water?

I can make a Lava Flow.

Gentian and chestnut liqueurs.

It's like rocket fuel! You guys are crazy.

55°.

Careful, it's...

It's really hot, isn't it?

He weds in 2 months. A 4-year engagement

and 40 years planning it.

Wow!

- What can I do? - Want to go?

- No, I'm getting back in the saddle! - Yeah, get back in!

Back in the saddle!

The next guy who picks the salmon, I'll bed him.

Great game! I love it!

Totally dumb.

Grumpy.

Happy.

You're Grumpy and you're Happy.

So who bangs Gollum?

Introduce him to Grumpy.

Good evening.

You got a wink!

With a "good evening".

Holy shit! If you don't want him, I'll have him!

Take it!

Eat it!

Want some?

No.

No, she's not hungry.

She doesn't want it. Eat it!

Yes!

The way he ate that salmon. He's the one!

Ok, I'm bedding him!

Watch out, I'm playing this super classy.

Take notes.

I love champagne.

Think he noticed me?

It'd be hard not to.

He's eyeing me.

Go on, get lost now.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Do you want a blini?

For the taramasalata in your hair.

A snail!

I can get a snail out of its shell with my tongue.

Only 2 people in the world can do it.

I'll show you. Watch.

Weird, it must be broken.

I already ate it.

- What's your name? - Etienne.

A restaurant owner?

No, I teach cooking...

Screw that. Are you married?

- Getting married? - Maybe...

- I mean in the next few months. - No.

- Single? - Yep.

Are you gay?

No, I'm not gay.

- You're not gay? - Are you?

No! Awesome! We have so much in common!

I don't know whose glass...

You like leftovers. You're a Labrador.

You don't waste time.

Yeah? I'm so glad! I thought I was useless.

No, far from it.

Really? I'm so glad. I got the impression I looked like...

An easy lay?

- You think I am? - Of course not.

You don't think I am?

- No... - Not an easy lay?

I said that because...

I'm this party's easy lay!

I believe you.

You won't find easier.

Shall I show you?

Got a car? A place? Come on.

Slow down. Why are you limping?

Damn, my shoe!

I'll fetch it.

I'll be right back!

Who needs shoes for what we're gonna do?

The boat's on its way.

It's ok, I get seasick.

I'll walk back.

I've been all over Paris to find the foot this shoe fits.

You're my last chance.

My shoe! I lost it. How did you find it?

You don't remember?

The Paris-Auvergne gala?

You're the salmon canapé!

I'm the salmon canapé?

It's ok, forget it.

Thanks anyhow.

My pleasure.

Could I get something to eat?

I don't know. The lunch service is over.

Ok, all right.

But I can't leave.

After midday, my scooter turns into a pumpkin.

Ok, I get it.

Sorry, I love crap jokes.

I specialize in them.

Fantastic, our club needs people like you.

Great to meet you.

Why not have a table?

I'll stay here at the bar.

Alone.

Single.

I don't believe it...

- No snails? - No.

Oh, shit...

I did my snail trick? The shame of it.

No! It's amazing how you control your tongue.

You need to be good with tongues.

Know what? I'll have the asparagus hollandaise

with pata negra ham flakes. Sounds good.

Ok, I'll see if...

Thanks.

Want a cognac?

It's 3 pm.

I didn't ask the time.

Dad, can you do a dish of asparagus, please?

It's too damn late for lunch.

Be nice...

I'm sick of customers.

I'll sell up soon, believe me.

What asshole wants asparagus at 3 pm?

A ball-buster, believe me.

I believe you.

Thanks.

Kevin, asparagus.

Do you like it?

- It's bland. - It is?

No, I'm kidding. The asparagus is great. It's why I came.

But the menu's wrong.

It's a mousseline sauce, not hollandaise.

A problem?

Hello.

It's just this is a mousseline sauce, with egg whites,

while hollandaise is a sabayon with clarified butter.

I know the difference.

What did I tell you?

It's great mousseline, but it's not hollandaise.

A printing error.

Anything else?

No, no...

"No, no" sounds like "yes, yes".

Go on.

Your pata negra isn't pata negra.

My pata negra isn't pata negra?

Hear that, Juliette?

My pata negra isn't pata negra.

Know what? It doesn't matter.

I've heard a lot of bullshit in this place.

It's a temple for it. But this...

My pata negra isn't pata negra?

No.

It's Serrano.

Serrano has a shorter leg, see.

It's good for a Serrano ham.

Pata negra has a nuttier flavour.

Ok, but the invoice says pata negra.

I pay pata negra prices!

You're an expert?

I dated a pig 6 years.

It was great. But nights are hell.

Get it?

Mind out, it's sharp.

No, I'm a COY.

A COY?

What year?

1995. The Robuchon class.

'79. Troisgros.

- Which one's you? - The skinny one.

Ok...

Let's celebrate.

Great excuse to booze.

You're with two COYs, Cooks Of the Year!

We have to celebrate!

- How about a magnum? - Nice!

Here.

Thanks.

My pleasure.

Côte Rôtie La Turque, 2006.

This isn't boozing. It's a tribute to men's work.

See, we're not boozing, we're paying tribute.

To cooking!

And, above all,

to snails.

I didn't get that.

I wonder what we have in here.

A salt piñata is odd.

Don't overdo it.

What an aroma!

Magnificent.

I'll wait outside.

Come in, miss.

Tell me, what do you smell?

I smell fish.

She smells fish.

Taste it.

Well?

It's bland.

No, it's good. I'd like more.

I thought so.

They're all students?

Yes, here in this restaurant,

they apply what they've learned.

They all seem scared of you.

I don't know why. I hardly ever hit them.

Waiter!

Take our order.

Have you chosen?

I want to try everything.

You go first.

- Dressed offal. - Same here!

You like offal?

Enjoy yo... your meal.

It's like a Caprese salad.

Different though.

You don't like it?

I know why.

It's because it's too cold.

It's excellent.

Brain is best at body temperature,

straight from the abattoir.

I was hunting with pals once and we ate

a deer's liver.

Amazing. Really powerful,

but if you like gamey flavours, it blows you away.

It's wild.

I've never met a girl like you before.

If you like offal, we'll get on well.

I like strawberries too.

It's ok, I'll close.

What'll you do after?

Seeing Etienne?

None of your business! Good night.

Do I change the sauce or won't I see him again?

I don't want to influence you,

but he's a great guy.

The number of times I've heard that!

- Heard what? - "I don't want to influence you."

"I don't want to influence you, but take German."

"I don't want to influence you, but Olivier is a jerk."

"I don't want to influence you, but work with me."

I guess I influenced you a lot.

If you do see him again, don't say I have trouble choosing.

Sorry, honey, but I think he'll soon see that for himself.

He sees it as an open mind.

- An open mind? - Yes.

So love is blind!

Right, I'll be going.

Etienne!

You shouldn't have! How are you?

Fine, thanks.

I'll leave you, I have to...

I have things to do.

Good night, Dad.

Enjoy yourselves.

Love you.

Come on.

They're beautiful.

Stolen from the wholesale market.

I love stolen flowers.

Pass me that vase there.

Ace!

Can you play? My dad does. Well, he used to.

It doesn't sound great here.

Come with me.

I'm gonna fuck you.

But hurry.

The tune's over and I only know one.

- What? - Nothing.

You look happy.

Surely, as a father, I can be happy because my daughter's happy?

Sonia, thanks for calling back.

Etienne's taking me to the theatre this weekend.

Your cook's pulling out all the stops!

- How long now? - 4 weeks in 2 days.

You soon got over your English guy.

No, he was a Scot.

What do I wear?

What are you seeing?

No idea, he chose.

Know what? Wear that Vanessa Bruno black jacket.

It'll be perfect with the vintage top...

Hold on, I'll call you back.

- What do you want? - To talk.

I don't want to hear you, not while I work.

I know.

This is important.

I don't want to hear.

Give me five minutes.

Five minutes.

Come on.

Juju honey!

Hello, sir.

We'll sit inside.

Handsome boy. Some girls have all the luck.

Come to introduce your wife?

On the house.

Thanks, Claudine.

- You make a lovely couple. - Thanks.

Well?

Juliette...

We barely met...

No, sorry, we didn't even meet.

After sex, you ran back to your fiancée.

Why am I even talking to you?

I've finished.

I don't understand.

I've thought of you for weeks.

I think of you, I can't sleep...

And I thought that if

I let a girl like you get away, that means I'm a total...

jerk.

With Emily, it's over.

You left her? But the wedding?

No more wedding.

But you shouldn't have...

Juliette.

I fell in love with you right away.

I'd tried loving her for years.

There.

I wanted you to know.

But no obligations.

Do as you want.

She wasn't making any sense.

God knows what happened.

Trouble with Juliette?

Where did I put my swimsuit?

Lucky her. Nothing ever happens to me.

You sure?

Where are you at?

Watch.

Carole...

Really spectacular!

Here.

She gets a reward for scratching you?

Actually, I meant where are you at work-wise?

Standby.

Are you looking?

You don't work on a sabbatical.

Usually, it's one year, not three.

As long as our salon is doing well...

It's Jojo's salon.

Ok, it's in her name and she works there.

You're the male version of a lady of leisure.

No, it's my way of being a feminist.

My success won't overshadow my wife's.

I'm not some breadwinning macho who does nothing at home.

What do you do at home?

She's needling me...

Nit-picking like Mummy...

Let's go.

What're you doing?

- I'm coming. - We're aquabiking.

Where are my trunks?

You're not aquabiking with us. It's for girls.

Why? Men swim, men ride bikes.

Why can't we aquabike?

Excellent question. Ask Carole.

Have a good evening, honey.

We do less and less together.

Does Mummy have a secret?

Like she'll answer you!

Think he might be gay?

He likes girl talk, he has a cat, he wants to come aquabiking...

He's into old women...

Idiot.

- You're in the shit now. - You bet!

Classy situation.

Easy way out, stick with both.

I'd be a slut.

No, you'd be a total slut.

- Want our opinion? - Yes.

Etienne!

He's funny and has a real job.

He's a rock.

You can sense the power. And he loves eating. That's a sign.

That's true.

Then again, Paul...

He's so romantic. He cancelled his wedding for me.

So choose Paul.

If I do that, I rule out Etienne.

- That's what choosing is. - Right.

Which one's the best lay?

I dunno. Etienne is...

He's...

- Brutal? - Yes.

Whereas Paul is more...

He's gentle.

Yes, he's gentle.

I know.

Test them both.

Take them shopping. Guys hate that.

No, Philippe loves shopping.

I'll leave them both.

That's a dumb solution.

I can't choose, I can't keep both.

So I'll leave both.

I'll do that.

First,

I'll call Etienne.

Then tell Paul.

Or maybe...

I go to see Paul in Scotland, then call Etienne.

No. First I call Paul, then Etienne.

Don't answer...

Scared you?

Hi, honey. Finished work?

Yes.

I wanted to call.

- I've made a decision. - I'm coming this weekend.

I'll get the Eurostar late Friday evening.

What're you doing?

Working on a really boring file.

Listen to me.

Will you marry me?

Is that a proposal?

A proposal? But...

I should make it.

Sounds like one.

You're proposing?

Yes. Well...

I want to marry before 45.

Well?

What?

Will you be my wife?

Yes, I will.

We're getting married!

I've never had a proposal and you get 2 the same day!

What can I do?

Don't start. You have to decide what you're really going to do.

Feet! You need to act now.

You're not a kid. You're 40.

It'll be obvious.

But when?

You'll decide at the registry office?

Is it possible to be a bride's witness for 2 different weddings?

You're not choosing between a blouse and a skirt!

They're 2 great guys you're going to hurt.

So talk to them frankly.

Of course.

Jo's right for once. Talk to them.

Of course.

The weather's a bit like in Brittany.

Yes, we're lucky today.

Right.

This is your place?

Yes.

My place...

and my parents'.

We're seeing them?

I wanted us to talk first.

If I introduce you at our wedding,

my mum won't be pleased.

I thought we were going to explain... well, talk a little.

Young lady, since my knowledge of French leaves something to be desired,

I'd rather continue our conversation in my mother tongue.

I love this woman.

And I adore cats.

Come with me. You'll see,

this region is magnificent.

Well...

Get the hint of vanilla?

I'm not getting anything.

A touch of damp tobacco too.

That's the peat.

Gingerbread...

You have a thing with smells.

No, not smells.

With fragrances.

The most beautiful French word.

Along with libellule.

Great word for a dragonfly.

You wanted to be a nose?

In my family, only rugby, whisky and banks count.

I couldn't say I wanted to make perfume.

We wear skirts for every family reunion as it is.

I had a dream too.

To go around the world by motorbike.

It's not too late.

Actually...

Dad and I were traumatized. My mum died in an accident.

On a motorbike?

No, not really.

A motorbike rammed into her car.

I'm sorry for your mum.

I wish she was here to help me.

Can I ask you something?

Is it too late to go back to Emily?

Why do you ask?

Maybe I'm not the right girl for you.

You're not the right girl for me.

Juju! Over here!

- You can't park here. - But it's handy.

It'll cost you 35 euros.

It's not my car anyway.

Hello, ma'am.

Whose is it?

Some car dealer I met on Tinder.

So, how was Scotland?

A nightmare.

- It went badly? - A dream.

A dream or a nightmare?

A dream, so a nightmare.

I have to leave Etienne now.

Okay...

You need to see something first.

See what?

Sweetheart!

- Are you ok? - I guess.

While you shopped in London, we worked hard.

Right, Etienne?

You said it.

What are you doing here? Are you two...

Tell her.

Age before beauty.

- Screw you! - Richard, tell her.

Allow me to introduce

our restaurant's new chef.

Ma'am...

What about your classes?

Your dad tempted me away. Time to put theory into practice.

You youngsters...

I know it's dumb, but I'm happy.

You're drunk. Richard, you're drunk.

Not at all. I'm happy. Just happy.

Juliette, honey.

I won't praise your Etienne, but he's great.

See? He's right.

There'll be changes here.

Forget the Relais de l'Aubrac.

Forget the Relais de l'Aubrac, but it stays the Relais de l'Aubrac.

I found a great slogan earlier.

It's great.

Change in continuity.

Goosebumps.

Stop winding me up!

I don't want to influence you, but I'd overhaul the kitchen.

- With a flattop grill, say. - Good idea.

Excellent. I'd thought of it.

I'm handing you the keys, but I'm still here.

The old man's not out of it.

Not out of it yet!

Know what, guys?

Seriously.

We'll make one hell of a team.

It's gonna be a blast! Pure happiness...

- Salers beef. - Yep.

Hold on...

Pink's nice too.

It's blank.

The blue's not bad.

Pick a card. The first one you touch.

- This one? - No, horrible. This one.

This one!

Much better!

I'm dead!

7. So July. A pretty month in Scotland.

- Not bad. - And the date?

I thought about the wedding date.

12!

July 12th is perfect.

So July 12th.

No going back now.

Thanks, Claudine.

I love this, Claudine.

I know. Prada, Fall-Winter, 2015.

Woolworths, 1976.

Can I get you coffee or water?

No, thanks.

How does it look?

What the hell have I done?

What have I done?

Well?

I don't know...

I'm wondering if...

Normally, the groom mustn't see the dress.

That's a stupid superstition.

- Show me. - My love, I don't know if...

You can't decide

between the bustier one and the low-cut back one.

Come out, honey, and I'll tell you.

If he doesn't like it, I stop.

Garance, show the gentleman to the fitting room.

You want to try the other?

It's all inside.

Is it all going well?

Perfectly.

What about the cufflinks?

We'll do them after. The jacket first.

Another mirror would be good. For the back view.

- It's not easy. - True.

It's hard to choose.

I'm still hesitating between a three-piece suit, a tuxedo and...

A frock coat.

I'm not sure.

I really don't know.

I can't decide.

We can ask my wife what she thinks.

We need your opinion.

- Are you okay? - Yeah.

So I hear.

I need to try the trousers.

In the fitting room.

I'll check it in daylight.

What are you doing?

I wanted to ask... Is it true about Juliette?

What?

Is she marrying Etienne, the chef?

Yes, among others.

I missed a wedding?

- I left them both - Seriously?

They were both there with me,

one in a fitting room, the other outside.

I don't understand.

- I have to tell them. - Calm down.

But I love them both.

I just can't choose.

Etienne's here!

This dress is pissing me off!

Shit!

Quick!

Give it here!

Go on, pull!

I'm pulling! I'm pulling all I can!

Try pushing!

I'll tell them. First Etienne, then Paul.

Don't say a thing. Don't decide on a whim.

You do.

- Say nothing. - I'll tell him.

Hi there!

You ok?

Didn't you forget something?

We're tanning for the wedding(s).

Great, but you can't work like that.

I just got the team's new outfits.

By the way, I found a suit for the wedding.

You'll love it.

Just think, in 3 weeks, we'll be married.

Etienne!

What time do you call this?

You're hopeless.

Say nothing.

What the hell happened?

Give me a minute, honey.

Go ahead.

No turbot so I got plaice.

Remind me... What's today's special?

Turbot in beurre blanc.

Exactly, and not...

- Not? - Plaice.

See, it's simple!

It's a flat fish, I thought...

I do the thinking.

If I say we do turbot,

we do turbot, ok?

Now get the fucking turbot!

Juliette, you need to see something.

- I brought your things. - Thank you.

Could I have some bread?

As I was in a hurry, I...

I was in a state because of...

You know, after you left the store, I tried to call you.

No battery.

The other guy... Did you see him?

A tall guy.

He was trying on a frock coat.

I didn't notice him.

May I use your phone?

Use mine.

He lent me his phone.

Really kind for a French person.

On the display, I saw a photo of him

and his girlfriend.

His fiancée, I think.

She looks like you.

Lots of girls do.

Yes, it seemed impossible.

But, on taking a closer look,

she seemed...

And I know that look.

It's the look you give me.

I'd like to meet your friend.

Wait!

Excuse me!

Please, wait!

Why are you here, sir?

In the store, I forgot to say I'm Paul MacCallaghan.

Great, but we're busy. Let's talk later.

Show him out, please.

I didn't know about you.

- Did you? - Who is this guy?

Paul Mac something. He's pissing me off.

Meet my fiancée. Her name's Juliette.

You know each other?

Our wedding's in three weeks.

No, ours is in three weeks.

Juliette...

What the hell is this?

What the hell is this?

Yes, what the hell is this?

You're home late.

What's for dinner?

Is Juliette here?

- In the bathroom. - Again?

She's emptied the tank with all her baths.

Juliette! Open up, it's me.

Juliette, open up!

I want to be alone.

Open up now.

It's stressing Carole out.

I want to be alone!

It's sunny, you could go out.

Or go back to work maybe.

Why? Dad won't speak to me. Everyone judges me.

I wonder why.

You judge me too.

Open up now or I'll get Philippe to break down the door.

You win. Baby, break it down.

Actually, right now...

I'm holding the cat.

Enough, you're being a drag!

- Sit down here. - Why?

- Sit. - What're you doing?

What's going on?

Straight or curled?

What're you doing?

Straight or curled?

How can I decide now?

Ok, shut up, enough.

You're not the only one who can't choose.

It's hard for all of us.

Think it's easy for Sonia? No, it isn't.

Think she enjoys the non-stop sex? Does it make her happy? No.

Yes, choosing is hard.

Hey, it's only temporary.

Think I didn't hesitate over Philippe?

He's clearly not George Clooney.

I'm with a long-term idler

who only slaps his cat's hand.

- It's a paw. - A paw.

I regret my choice at least once a week.

But I stand by it.

When I had my problem, I knew I was right.

He hid in the hospital shower for 2 months

so I wouldn't be alone at night.

When I told him

I couldn't have kids,

he stayed all the same.

You see.

I feel in control of my life.

When you let others decide for you,

look what happens.

That looks terrible, Jojo.

You can't leave me like this! It's hideous!

I'll do what you want.

Just choose.

You know I can't choose.

Not true. You make choices.

In fact,

if I may interrupt your "girl talk",

any shrink could tell you that someone so chronically indecisive

has a life scenario that causes her

to waver continually.

Early on, she decided

never to make a decision.

She's still influenced by that early vow

buried deep in her subconscious.

For more details, check Psychology mag, in the bathroom under my Grazia.

He's totally right!

You've always let your dad decide for you.

Not sure George Clooney would know that.

Hi, honey, it's Dad.

I thought

it would be good to have dinner to talk about everything.

I mean...

it's stupid sulking at each other like this.

I miss you.

Meet me at 8:30 at Lasserre.

Evening, ma'am.

There's a booking for Richard Blandin.

If you please...

Follow me, please.

I'm a bit...

- A bit surprised as I... - I know.

Your dad told me.

Your problem with choosing.

You could've said. I can help.

If I'd known I had competition, I'd have done my best to win.

- Actually... - Here's what I suggest.

As someone has to choose for you, I'll do it.

Here's the plan.

We get a star in 2 years by working the gastronomy angle.

Then we get a house in Barfleur. You'll love it.

I'll fish for clams with our kids.

Margaux and Lucas. Great names.

Sorry, but...

Wait, I haven't finished.

Then we open an annex of the Relais,

next door in that old bat's dump.

You mean Claudine?

Maybe. I bet we can get it for next to nothing.

I worked it all out.

So I see.

- Lamb, and quail for the lady. - I don't like quail. May I?

Trust me.

The quail comes with chestnuts and...

Thank you, it's ok.

Very good, sir.

- Do you like it here? - I dunno.

I'll do the wedding here.

- The wedding? - Our wedding!

Didn't you cancel it?

No, and your dad agreed.

- So I have no choice. - Is that so bad?

I did my apprenticeship here.

You have to see something. Watch the ceiling.

Watch it!

Will your Paul be there?

He resigned from his job to go home to Scotland.

Why do they keep driving straight at me?

You're on the wrong side!

I just realised I've never had a Scot.

It's not a sex tourism trip.

This is Scotland, not Thailand.

Are they naked under those skirts? Nothing's hanging out, it's a bad sign.

What's wrong? Is he dead?

You can't really speak English, huh?

It has to be pronounced properly for me to understand.

He's marrying Emily now.

A cart will take ages! We have a car.

Ginger's kinda weird. I love it.

Ask the choirboy.

Shit!

Let me grab a drink!

Hold on...

They don't understand their own language!

Let's split up.

Shit...

I'm dancing.

And I stink of fish...

I never danced with a beggar!

- Sorry? - You speak French? Great!

This will sound odd, but I must explain.

I fell for Etienne as he's like my father.

He and all my exes were men who decided for me.

Paul was different.

He doesn't care if I screw up.

He loves me as I am, not as he wants me to be.

I'd never known that.

With him, I can choose my life.

I should have married your husband.

That's not Paul!

Paul?

Meet Mark, the man I just married.

Weren't you marrying Paul?

I was.

You're the French girl?

Yes.

I have to thank you.

When Paul left me for you, I met Mark.

That's wonderful!

Frankly, Mark is a better catch.

Paul works for a bank. Mark owns one.

That's excellent.

So where's Paul?

No one knows. He left overnight.

Not even his parents know.

They don't?

Shit!

Carole...

Gimme five.

To avoid any misunderstanding...

Yes, baby?

I did it.

She gave me five.

Are you crying?

Hurry home to see this.

Sweetheart...

I'm so proud of you.

Take care.

I love you.

I'll join my friends.

We've been looking for you.

He's vanished.

He must be somewhere.

Of course.

It's good what you did. You came.

Just think. You came all this way.

2,000 km for nothing.

No, not for nothing.

Presents! I love them!

Hideous!

What're you doing?

They're wedding gifts!

I'll leave the ugly stuff.

Revenge for Joan of Arc.

They're Scottish, not English.

Same difference.

Ghastly!

A tablecloth?

- Horrible. - Put it back properly.

Wedding presents always suck.

- What's Paul's name? - MacCallaghan.

From him.

Don't you start too!

Ah, ok.

Fully booked again.

To think I nearly sold up.

I can be dumb at times, right?

Right?

From Juliette?

What can I say?

Say nothing.

Look, she has...

What can I say?

This is good.

Of course it's good.

It's a bummer though.

Yeah, it's a bummer.

It was tough finding you.

I changed offices.

YOU CHOOSE!

So "thank you" is "chaquran"?

No, "shokran".

Good evening.

From now on, I'm taking my life in hand.

I can decide without help in under 5 seconds.

I'll have zaalouk.

- Zaalouk? - Yes.

However, most decisions made in under 5 seconds

are shitty decisions.

- Will you manage? - Yes.