subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Vive.La.France.2013.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English Download

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French Download

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek Download

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian Download

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian Download

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish Download

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:49,459 --> 00:01:51,999 French. Only French. 4 00:01:53,334 --> 00:01:54,874 I not feel good. 5 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:55,999 Calm. 6 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,124 Do like me. 7 00:01:58,625 --> 00:02:00,374 Think other things. 8 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,499 Watch film. 9 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:06,999 What is it? 10 00:02:07,459 --> 00:02:09,374 A film about a plane. 11 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,874 It's interesting. 12 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,999 Very interesting. 13 00:02:18,334 --> 00:02:20,208 - Your meal, sir. - Thank you. 14 00:02:20,375 --> 00:02:22,083 - Enjoy. - Thank you. 15 00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:31,874 Ladies and gentlemen, we have just entered French airspace. 16 00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:36,583 It's time. 17 00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:55,874 Ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately 18 00:02:56,125 --> 00:02:58,458 an air traffic controllers' strike 19 00:02:58,875 --> 00:03:01,249 has shut down the Paris airports. 20 00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:03,499 We have to land in Figari 21 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,208 in Corsica. 22 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:06,624 What the hell? 23 00:03:07,125 --> 00:03:08,249 - What now? - Move! 24 00:03:09,250 --> 00:03:10,499 - Go! - You're sure? 25 00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,749 Why not Tripoli while you're at it? 26 00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,499 We head back to France and the bullshit starts! 27 00:03:15,625 --> 00:03:17,124 The meal was foul too! 28 00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:19,499 Shame on you! 29 00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:20,958 - My fork! - What? 30 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,124 I lose my fork. 31 00:03:23,375 --> 00:03:24,208 I go alone. 32 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:26,874 Why not land in Nice? 33 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:30,374 Nice is closed for a summit. It has to be Corsica. 34 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:33,249 We're starting our descent. Yes, sir? 35 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,249 I need the toilet. 36 00:03:36,459 --> 00:03:38,874 Too late. Thank you for the cutlery. 37 00:03:39,084 --> 00:03:41,208 All of you, sit down now! 38 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:43,583 Fasten your seatbelts and clam up! 39 00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:47,208 You can't treat us like this! 40 00:03:50,834 --> 00:03:52,999 When the world was created, 41 00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:57,249 God decided to invent the most beautiful country of all 42 00:03:57,375 --> 00:04:00,499 and put all of the world's wonders in it. 43 00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:03,874 He called that country... France. 44 00:04:04,209 --> 00:04:08,124 But so that other countries wouldn't feel deprived, 45 00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,458 God decided to fill it with 46 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:11,874 the French. 47 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,874 But first let me explain 48 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,458 how we got here. 49 00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:26,624 It all began in Taboulistan, 50 00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,749 a tiny Central Asian country 51 00:04:28,959 --> 00:04:31,708 stuck between Afghanistan, Kirghizstan 52 00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:33,333 and Tajikistan. 53 00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,833 And it all began exactly 54 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,624 in a small village called 55 00:04:37,875 --> 00:04:39,374 Kachtebrul. 56 00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:43,708 This is me. Feruz. 57 00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:46,249 And that's Muzafar. 58 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,083 We're half-brothers. 59 00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:51,749 Muzafar is the son our dad had with his cousin. 60 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,458 The lady with the moustache. 61 00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:57,374 Every morning 62 00:04:57,625 --> 00:04:59,208 with our women, we do 63 00:04:59,375 --> 00:05:02,499 the famous traditional dance of Taboulistan, 64 00:05:03,375 --> 00:05:04,624 the Tawa! 65 00:05:04,834 --> 00:05:06,999 The dance of joy! 66 00:05:24,209 --> 00:05:26,249 Our land is called Taboulistan 67 00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:29,499 because our greatest pride 68 00:05:29,709 --> 00:05:32,124 is to have invented 1,000 years ago 69 00:05:33,084 --> 00:05:35,249 the original recipe 70 00:05:35,459 --> 00:05:37,124 for tabbouleh! 71 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:40,249 A skillful blend of grain, 72 00:05:40,459 --> 00:05:41,374 parsley 73 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,124 and tomatoes. 74 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,624 In spite of what people think, the Lebanese didn't invent it. 75 00:05:47,750 --> 00:05:50,249 Those dogs just stole the recipe! 76 00:05:50,875 --> 00:05:54,083 And, since then, the world has forgotten we exist. 77 00:05:58,375 --> 00:06:00,749 The UN has never recognized us. 78 00:06:00,959 --> 00:06:04,749 And that bothers our Great Leader, Hadadad 79 00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:07,624 Wassupbro... 80 00:06:07,875 --> 00:06:08,624 Idiots! 81 00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:11,499 ...democratically elected for 36 years. 82 00:06:12,125 --> 00:06:15,124 Losers! 83 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:19,583 Not one minister had managed to get our land noticed 84 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,583 until the day when... 85 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,458 Jafaraz Wassupbro, 86 00:06:25,625 --> 00:06:27,124 son of our Leader, 87 00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:29,708 had a revolutionizing idea! 88 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:32,708 Terrorism... 89 00:06:33,959 --> 00:06:34,958 as advertising! 90 00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:39,124 His plan was to attack 91 00:06:39,334 --> 00:06:42,249 the world's most popular monument... 92 00:06:44,584 --> 00:06:45,499 The Eiffel Tower! 93 00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:57,333 - Feruz, watch the goats! - Why me? 94 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,333 And it was that day, 95 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,708 as Muzafar and I were chatting... 96 00:07:02,875 --> 00:07:06,458 - I should've drowned you at birth! - Calm down, you old goat. 97 00:07:06,625 --> 00:07:07,708 Old goat? 98 00:07:07,875 --> 00:07:10,374 ...saw the start of the adventure 99 00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:12,374 that led us to France. 100 00:07:17,334 --> 00:07:18,124 Greetings. 101 00:07:19,334 --> 00:07:21,124 Little Leader! 102 00:07:22,084 --> 00:07:24,333 Little Leader Wassupbro! 103 00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:26,833 Calm down. Gently! 104 00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:33,374 We were first sent to a training camp. 105 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,249 And, to get to know our new enemy... 106 00:07:49,459 --> 00:07:50,833 France! 107 00:07:53,375 --> 00:07:55,624 ...we started by learning 108 00:07:55,834 --> 00:07:56,749 French! 109 00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:59,874 These are the 10 most frequently used words. 110 00:08:00,125 --> 00:08:01,208 Repeat. 111 00:08:01,459 --> 00:08:02,624 Hello. 112 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:05,833 How you? 113 00:08:07,625 --> 00:08:08,374 Basterd! 114 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:10,583 Bisch. 115 00:08:11,875 --> 00:08:13,124 Arzhole. 116 00:08:13,334 --> 00:08:14,374 Fock. 117 00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:15,708 Bommer. 118 00:08:15,875 --> 00:08:16,583 Shite. 119 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:19,374 Goobye. 120 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:25,333 We also studied all the cultural differences. 121 00:08:25,625 --> 00:08:29,374 France is a land where men are deprived of the right 122 00:08:29,584 --> 00:08:30,708 to hit women. 123 00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:34,749 In France, 124 00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:37,499 slapping women not allowed. 125 00:08:42,125 --> 00:08:44,999 But what happens if they speak? 126 00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:47,374 You listen. 127 00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:51,624 Not possible! 128 00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:55,749 You can't treat people like that! 129 00:08:56,125 --> 00:08:59,583 To infiltrate the country, we changed our identity. 130 00:08:59,959 --> 00:09:01,874 Your French passports. 131 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,374 For you... 132 00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:06,124 Jafaraz gave us new names. 133 00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:07,124 I became... 134 00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:08,458 Michel! 135 00:09:08,625 --> 00:09:10,208 And Muzafar became... 136 00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:11,374 Yannick! 137 00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:12,624 For me, 138 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,374 for the mission, 139 00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:17,708 I've chosen to use typically French name. 140 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,833 Michel Ouellebec. 141 00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:23,208 Don't like Michel. 142 00:09:23,375 --> 00:09:24,749 Michel no good? 143 00:09:29,709 --> 00:09:32,249 Alin Ouellebec. My name? 144 00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:35,749 Better! 145 00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:38,708 Faster! 146 00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:40,374 Louder! 147 00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:41,999 Faster! 148 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,749 And that's how we became 149 00:09:45,959 --> 00:09:47,999 soldiers in the RTT... 150 00:09:48,209 --> 00:09:51,458 Revolutionary Terrorists of Taboulistan! 151 00:09:53,209 --> 00:09:56,124 ...ready to crash the plane of revenge 152 00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:59,458 into the Eiffel Tower in Paris! 153 00:10:06,459 --> 00:10:08,249 After 9 months in training, 154 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,874 we were the chosen ones! 155 00:10:11,375 --> 00:10:13,124 I'm proud to award you 156 00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:16,124 the Tabouli medal of bravery. 157 00:10:17,875 --> 00:10:18,999 And now... 158 00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,583 you just have to do it for real. 159 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:22,749 For real? 160 00:10:24,459 --> 00:10:27,124 We do it with remote-control plane... 161 00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:30,249 That mean we die? 162 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,374 I not want die! 163 00:10:34,709 --> 00:10:36,999 I not understand. 164 00:10:37,209 --> 00:10:38,874 You say to us 165 00:10:39,375 --> 00:10:42,874 we heroes of the nation. Not mutton kebab. 166 00:10:43,334 --> 00:10:45,124 Brothers, with this mission, 167 00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:48,333 you're going to become martyrs! 168 00:10:48,834 --> 00:10:50,249 You go to paradise! 169 00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:54,083 It's wild up there. Eternal life in pleasure garden... 170 00:10:54,375 --> 00:10:55,833 With welcome gift... 171 00:10:56,125 --> 00:10:59,833 You know, I'm not that keen on dying... 172 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:00,833 Shut up. 173 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,374 I not want to die. 174 00:11:02,584 --> 00:11:04,749 What's the welcome gift? 175 00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:06,624 Usually, the basic package 176 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:09,624 is 70 virgins with all-you-can-eat buffet. 177 00:11:10,125 --> 00:11:11,999 Pretty interesting... 178 00:11:13,625 --> 00:11:14,999 You think so? 179 00:11:15,209 --> 00:11:15,999 You bet. 180 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,374 You can't be sure they're virgins. 181 00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:19,374 True. 182 00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:21,499 No good in bed, no good for tabbouleh. 183 00:11:21,875 --> 00:11:24,249 I prefer 70 mature women. 184 00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,624 - 70 mature women. - I can't. 185 00:11:27,875 --> 00:11:28,624 But we die. 186 00:11:28,875 --> 00:11:31,083 Good deal is when we all happy. 187 00:11:35,959 --> 00:11:36,874 All right... 188 00:11:37,125 --> 00:11:40,624 Mature women and a bonus gift. 189 00:11:40,875 --> 00:11:42,874 Electric razor 190 00:11:43,459 --> 00:11:44,249 for travel. 191 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,708 It's electric... 192 00:11:53,209 --> 00:11:54,499 He say 193 00:11:54,709 --> 00:11:56,333 it going to be wild. 194 00:11:59,875 --> 00:12:01,833 All-you-can-eat buffet... 195 00:12:03,084 --> 00:12:03,874 With drinks? 196 00:12:04,125 --> 00:12:04,874 Of course. 197 00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,249 Coke, lemonade... 198 00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:08,708 Oaziz? 199 00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:16,499 And after a month traveling 200 00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:18,874 to get to Dushanbe, 201 00:12:19,084 --> 00:12:20,374 Ashgabat, 202 00:12:20,584 --> 00:12:21,499 Kabul 203 00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:22,999 and finally Istanbul, 204 00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:26,874 we ended up on this plane that was bound 205 00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:29,208 for Paris in France. 206 00:12:32,834 --> 00:12:35,083 Or rather Figari 207 00:12:35,625 --> 00:12:37,333 in Corsica. 208 00:12:42,875 --> 00:12:45,874 If you're not among the first to disembark, 209 00:12:46,084 --> 00:12:47,624 you wait forever. 210 00:12:49,375 --> 00:12:51,374 Police look to us. 211 00:12:51,875 --> 00:12:53,999 Passports won't work. Turn back. 212 00:12:54,625 --> 00:12:55,708 Calm! 213 00:12:56,125 --> 00:12:58,999 Do like me. Act innocent. 214 00:13:01,584 --> 00:13:05,624 It's not me. 215 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,208 Welcome to Corsica. 216 00:13:44,875 --> 00:13:46,583 What we do now? 217 00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:48,499 We do Plan B. 218 00:13:48,959 --> 00:13:50,333 What's Plan B? 219 00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:53,124 We plane now! 220 00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,208 It will be ok. 221 00:13:59,584 --> 00:14:01,708 We go Paris. 222 00:14:02,625 --> 00:14:04,624 Sure. Put your bags in the trunk. 223 00:14:04,875 --> 00:14:05,749 Thank you! 224 00:14:13,459 --> 00:14:15,458 - Where he going? - Thief! 225 00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:17,374 Crook! 226 00:14:26,584 --> 00:14:27,833 Is it far now? 227 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,999 Very hard. I not find Corsica on map. 228 00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:35,583 Sun there. 229 00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,458 We go there. 230 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:53,874 Hello, merchant. 231 00:14:54,334 --> 00:14:55,208 What's this? 232 00:14:55,375 --> 00:14:58,249 We look way to Paris. 233 00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:01,124 What am I? A tour guide? 234 00:15:02,250 --> 00:15:03,999 French not very nice. 235 00:15:04,375 --> 00:15:05,499 This isn't France! 236 00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:07,749 This is Corsica! 237 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,833 Don't understand. 238 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:12,249 For Paris, turn round 239 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:13,958 and walk north. 240 00:15:14,375 --> 00:15:16,999 When you see dickheads, you're there! 241 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:20,749 Thank you. 242 00:15:21,125 --> 00:15:22,874 What a way to treat people! 243 00:15:23,209 --> 00:15:24,374 Have a seat. 244 00:15:25,375 --> 00:15:27,249 Just ignore my brother. 245 00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:29,083 Female scum! 246 00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:30,374 Calm. 247 00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:31,833 Something to eat? 248 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,749 Yes, madam merchant. 249 00:15:33,875 --> 00:15:35,999 We very hungry... 250 00:15:37,209 --> 00:15:39,624 Sausage, sheep's cheese, dessert? 251 00:15:39,834 --> 00:15:40,999 No, tabbouleh. 252 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,124 Sorry, this isn't a Lebanese restaurant. 253 00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:49,208 Tabbouleh not from Lebanon, from Taboulistan. 254 00:15:49,375 --> 00:15:50,374 Where? 255 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:55,333 What? 256 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:09,124 Napoleon! Bonaparte! Attack! 257 00:16:17,625 --> 00:16:18,333 Feruz! 258 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:21,124 Let go! 259 00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:28,708 What you do? 260 00:16:29,625 --> 00:16:30,708 Not my fault. 261 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,833 No time for that now. Come! 262 00:16:43,084 --> 00:16:44,874 I'll waste you! 263 00:17:02,875 --> 00:17:04,124 Anyone here? 264 00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:07,374 Village idiot! 265 00:17:12,375 --> 00:17:15,333 You as hardheaded as horny goat! 266 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,333 Why? 267 00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:18,499 What did Alin say? 268 00:17:19,209 --> 00:17:21,249 He say not hit woman. 269 00:17:21,459 --> 00:17:23,249 If not, big problem! 270 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:26,958 Next time you hear woman speak, 271 00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:29,499 imagine it man, 272 00:17:29,709 --> 00:17:31,833 that it's same. Ok? 273 00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:35,999 Not understand. 274 00:17:51,875 --> 00:17:52,874 Feruz... 275 00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:04,624 For me? 276 00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:08,249 France... 277 00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:11,999 Elegance... 278 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,374 Fashion... 279 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:15,124 Pockets... 280 00:18:16,375 --> 00:18:19,374 Hello, monsieur, I'd like... 281 00:18:19,625 --> 00:18:21,124 some mustard! 282 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,999 Paris chic... 283 00:18:38,709 --> 00:18:39,874 Good night, Michel. 284 00:18:40,959 --> 00:18:42,124 Good night, Yannick. 285 00:18:42,459 --> 00:18:44,708 Tomorrow... Paris! 286 00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:11,374 Ange, what is this? 287 00:19:11,625 --> 00:19:12,833 You said it was empty! 288 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,499 I don't know. 289 00:19:14,709 --> 00:19:16,083 The neighbor said so. 290 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:17,708 We waste them? 291 00:19:17,875 --> 00:19:18,749 No, grab them! 292 00:19:21,875 --> 00:19:23,374 Get in! 293 00:19:23,584 --> 00:19:24,874 We can use them. 294 00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:39,499 Read this. 295 00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:41,874 Do it or you'll end up 296 00:19:42,125 --> 00:19:44,208 with your heads on a flag too! 297 00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:47,583 To the camera! 298 00:19:51,209 --> 00:19:55,499 Hello, I'm François Pinete. 299 00:19:56,375 --> 00:19:57,124 Hello. 300 00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,374 I'm Christian Pinete. 301 00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:03,624 We shall be 302 00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:06,374 freed in return 303 00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:09,249 for the release of... 304 00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:14,749 ...our brothers, Jean-Luc Domenico, 305 00:20:14,959 --> 00:20:19,458 Paoli de Cinneci... 306 00:20:20,084 --> 00:20:20,833 Dinini. 307 00:20:28,084 --> 00:20:29,208 Doumé! 308 00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:33,249 Stop crying. 309 00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:36,999 They're nothing like the brothers. 310 00:20:37,375 --> 00:20:38,999 The moustaches are fooling you. 311 00:20:39,625 --> 00:20:42,708 Sorry to insist but they have Alsatian accents. 312 00:20:45,375 --> 00:20:46,499 Let me see. 313 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,249 Nothing like them! 314 00:20:58,375 --> 00:21:00,333 Who the hell are you, guys? 315 00:21:00,875 --> 00:21:02,499 Michel Platini. 316 00:21:02,625 --> 00:21:03,833 Yannick Noah. 317 00:21:04,875 --> 00:21:06,583 I'm not fucking stupid! 318 00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:09,999 Who are you? 319 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,374 - Who? - Not shoot! 320 00:21:12,584 --> 00:21:14,874 We terrorists too. We hate French. 321 00:21:15,584 --> 00:21:18,124 Usually, we do terror, not opposite. 322 00:21:18,334 --> 00:21:19,249 Not shoot! 323 00:21:19,709 --> 00:21:20,874 Terrorists! 324 00:21:23,834 --> 00:21:24,708 Shut up. 325 00:21:24,875 --> 00:21:25,749 Shut up! 326 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,249 What's your mission? 327 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,749 Suicide attack on French imperialism! 328 00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:31,374 Suicide bombers? 329 00:21:31,584 --> 00:21:32,499 No! 330 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:33,958 Suicide bombers! 331 00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:38,583 I told you to keep quiet, you wimpy goat! 332 00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:40,249 Doumé, come here! 333 00:21:40,875 --> 00:21:42,749 - Let's waste them. - Cut it out. 334 00:21:44,625 --> 00:21:45,833 They're not the owners! 335 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,208 They're refugees. Maybe from Kosovo or Monaco. 336 00:21:51,084 --> 00:21:51,874 Help them. 337 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,249 We've decided to help you. 338 00:21:59,584 --> 00:22:00,374 For real? 339 00:22:00,625 --> 00:22:01,374 Yes. 340 00:22:01,875 --> 00:22:02,874 Solidarity. 341 00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:04,249 Thank you! 342 00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,249 Taboulistan thank you. 343 00:22:20,625 --> 00:22:23,499 Sun there. We go there. 344 00:22:24,625 --> 00:22:27,208 This first time I see the sea. 345 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,624 It's interesting. 346 00:22:34,709 --> 00:22:36,374 Feruz... 347 00:22:45,750 --> 00:22:46,874 Fire! 348 00:22:57,584 --> 00:22:58,999 Sir... 349 00:23:03,959 --> 00:23:05,499 Sir, can you hear me? 350 00:23:07,250 --> 00:23:08,374 Are you ok? 351 00:23:11,250 --> 00:23:13,249 Here, this should help. 352 00:23:17,625 --> 00:23:18,624 Michel... 353 00:23:19,084 --> 00:23:20,208 Wake up, Michel! 354 00:23:20,625 --> 00:23:21,624 Wake up! 355 00:23:24,875 --> 00:23:25,999 Here, take this. 356 00:23:26,834 --> 00:23:28,624 Are we in paradise? 357 00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:32,624 This is hell! 358 00:23:44,084 --> 00:23:45,083 Away, demon! 359 00:23:47,584 --> 00:23:48,999 It's all right. 360 00:23:57,125 --> 00:23:59,583 This not West as Alin described. 361 00:24:00,125 --> 00:24:02,708 This horrible. We must go back home. 362 00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:04,458 No, we continue mission. 363 00:24:04,625 --> 00:24:05,999 You lose Eiffel Tower! 364 00:24:06,125 --> 00:24:08,458 Sun there, we go there! 365 00:24:10,084 --> 00:24:11,208 What now? 366 00:24:11,625 --> 00:24:12,999 I hurt everywhere. 367 00:24:13,209 --> 00:24:14,624 Is all your fault. 368 00:24:15,375 --> 00:24:18,249 I hungry, I thirsty and I tired! 369 00:24:18,459 --> 00:24:19,249 Move it. 370 00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:21,499 Always move it. 371 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,708 No, I hurt! I stay here! 372 00:24:24,875 --> 00:24:27,083 Fine, you stay here alone. 373 00:24:27,250 --> 00:24:29,999 I carry on. Taboulistan counting on us. 374 00:24:30,209 --> 00:24:32,083 Sick of taking care of you! 375 00:24:39,959 --> 00:24:41,999 Drive straight, feel sick. 376 00:24:42,209 --> 00:24:45,124 What piss me off more? You or France? 377 00:24:46,084 --> 00:24:47,624 Stop complain. 378 00:24:48,084 --> 00:24:49,624 You need me. 379 00:24:50,375 --> 00:24:52,124 We two inseparable. 380 00:24:54,459 --> 00:24:56,999 Like goatherd and nanny goat... 381 00:24:57,834 --> 00:24:59,583 Women and moustaches... 382 00:25:00,875 --> 00:25:02,833 Children and hand grenades... 383 00:25:04,375 --> 00:25:05,958 Love and sheep... 384 00:25:15,375 --> 00:25:16,999 France is beautiful! 385 00:25:17,625 --> 00:25:18,624 Yeah... 386 00:25:18,875 --> 00:25:20,374 Refuse collectors on strike! 387 00:25:21,834 --> 00:25:22,999 Get out now. 388 00:25:27,125 --> 00:25:28,083 That way. 389 00:25:44,375 --> 00:25:45,333 Fire! 390 00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:49,374 What this? 391 00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:51,374 It's war! Run! 392 00:26:05,750 --> 00:26:06,583 Feruz! 393 00:26:31,334 --> 00:26:33,208 You really laid into them! 394 00:26:33,375 --> 00:26:35,333 What a gang of losers! 395 00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:37,124 We demolished them! 396 00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:40,208 Women hit men here! 397 00:26:40,375 --> 00:26:42,124 They crazy in this country! 398 00:26:42,250 --> 00:26:44,333 Let's grab a pastis. 399 00:26:44,959 --> 00:26:46,958 The place is full of sex bombs. 400 00:26:47,125 --> 00:26:47,999 Bombs? 401 00:26:48,125 --> 00:26:49,458 Packed with bombs! 402 00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:54,374 We go with them. We can buy explosive. 403 00:26:54,584 --> 00:26:56,874 Lot of terrorists here... 404 00:27:02,709 --> 00:27:04,249 Tony, how's it going? 405 00:27:10,750 --> 00:27:13,749 They bring us to a prostitutes' bar. 406 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,583 Look at skirt 407 00:27:15,750 --> 00:27:17,374 on edge of bush. 408 00:27:20,875 --> 00:27:22,499 This not good. 409 00:27:22,709 --> 00:27:24,249 No, not good. 410 00:27:24,459 --> 00:27:26,249 Tony, pastis all round. 411 00:27:26,459 --> 00:27:27,874 - Thirsty work. - Thirsty. 412 00:27:28,375 --> 00:27:31,374 Is there war on in France? 413 00:27:31,625 --> 00:27:32,374 In France? 414 00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:34,458 This isn't France, dipstick! 415 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,124 This is Marseilles! 416 00:27:37,709 --> 00:27:39,208 It's not France? 417 00:27:39,375 --> 00:27:40,999 No, we're different. 418 00:27:41,209 --> 00:27:42,458 We have it all. 419 00:27:42,625 --> 00:27:44,749 Sun, sea... and buddies! 420 00:27:44,959 --> 00:27:46,958 Buddies all around you! 421 00:27:56,834 --> 00:27:57,999 It's hot here. 422 00:27:59,959 --> 00:28:01,958 Grab your weapons! 423 00:28:02,125 --> 00:28:03,833 We're the Marseilles guys! 424 00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:06,374 And we're going to win! 425 00:28:06,625 --> 00:28:07,624 Looking to die? 426 00:28:08,625 --> 00:28:10,749 What's that Paris soccer shirt? 427 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,208 Want a beating, bud? 428 00:28:13,375 --> 00:28:14,624 Fuck the hell off! 429 00:28:20,709 --> 00:28:25,208 Motherfuckers! 430 00:28:33,375 --> 00:28:36,458 Why everyone say "motherfucker"? What it mean? 431 00:28:36,625 --> 00:28:40,999 It's like "hi" or "hello". Motherfucker. 432 00:28:42,500 --> 00:28:43,958 - Motherfucker. - What? 433 00:28:44,250 --> 00:28:46,208 Hey, fuckwad, you dissing us? 434 00:28:46,625 --> 00:28:48,208 No, no dissing. 435 00:28:48,375 --> 00:28:50,499 Go home to mommy, children. 436 00:28:50,750 --> 00:28:52,749 Children? You fuck off home! 437 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,958 We massacre Parisians here! 438 00:28:57,250 --> 00:28:59,708 I want to massacre Parisians too! 439 00:28:59,875 --> 00:29:00,874 Shut your mouth! 440 00:29:03,459 --> 00:29:04,374 Marseilles rules! 441 00:29:04,584 --> 00:29:06,749 Fuck Paris! 442 00:29:34,209 --> 00:29:35,874 Where are we? 443 00:29:36,584 --> 00:29:37,958 We in hospital. 444 00:29:39,125 --> 00:29:40,708 They look after you good. 445 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,583 Medicine champions! 446 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,749 But you sleep three days. 447 00:29:46,750 --> 00:29:48,333 You must eat. 448 00:29:49,209 --> 00:29:51,999 Come on, this good. It yogurt. 449 00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:54,374 Gentlemen... 450 00:29:55,625 --> 00:29:57,124 I have some good news. 451 00:29:57,334 --> 00:29:59,999 We removed your kidney with no trouble. 452 00:30:02,375 --> 00:30:03,208 Kidney? 453 00:30:04,625 --> 00:30:06,124 It was his nose... 454 00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:07,208 His nose? 455 00:30:07,875 --> 00:30:08,708 Nose. 456 00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:10,083 - Christelle... - Doctor? 457 00:30:10,250 --> 00:30:11,333 His file. 458 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,999 - What's "kidney"? - Nothing. 459 00:30:14,375 --> 00:30:15,499 Shit! 460 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:19,499 What happened here? 461 00:30:19,709 --> 00:30:21,958 I wasn't on intake. 462 00:30:22,375 --> 00:30:24,208 It's a kidney... 463 00:30:24,750 --> 00:30:25,999 A kidney? 464 00:30:29,584 --> 00:30:31,249 - I was off. - Off? 465 00:30:31,459 --> 00:30:32,499 Yes, I was off! 466 00:30:32,709 --> 00:30:35,208 You weren't. You say that every time! 467 00:30:35,375 --> 00:30:36,083 Cut it out! 468 00:30:37,875 --> 00:30:40,874 I'm sorry, we made a mistake. 469 00:30:41,375 --> 00:30:42,458 We took a kidney 470 00:30:42,625 --> 00:30:44,208 instead of mending your nose. 471 00:30:44,834 --> 00:30:46,083 You sick! 472 00:30:46,250 --> 00:30:47,999 Calm down, ok! 473 00:30:49,209 --> 00:30:50,999 You can live with one kidney. 474 00:30:51,209 --> 00:30:53,874 I only have one testicle and I manage fine. 475 00:30:54,084 --> 00:30:54,874 Yes! 476 00:30:55,084 --> 00:30:55,999 My kidney... 477 00:30:56,500 --> 00:30:57,458 Give it back. 478 00:30:57,625 --> 00:30:58,833 Good luck. 479 00:30:59,375 --> 00:31:00,374 Technically, 480 00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:02,208 it's no longer yours. 481 00:31:02,375 --> 00:31:03,333 - It is! - No. 482 00:31:03,625 --> 00:31:04,708 It's in Paris, 483 00:31:04,875 --> 00:31:06,708 to save an old lady. 484 00:31:06,875 --> 00:31:07,624 Give kidney! 485 00:31:07,875 --> 00:31:10,374 Without documents or medical insurance, 486 00:31:11,125 --> 00:31:13,083 good luck getting it back! 487 00:31:13,250 --> 00:31:15,708 If it's not done within 72 hours, 488 00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:19,249 your kidney is better flambéed with mushrooms! 489 00:31:23,709 --> 00:31:25,124 You're making fun now! 490 00:31:25,625 --> 00:31:27,333 Filthy charlatan! 491 00:31:27,500 --> 00:31:29,374 You joke, he no kidney! 492 00:31:29,625 --> 00:31:31,374 I'm just trying to help. 493 00:31:31,584 --> 00:31:33,999 If that's your attitude, I'm gone. 494 00:31:35,250 --> 00:31:36,124 My kidney! 495 00:31:36,375 --> 00:31:37,499 Go milk billy goats! 496 00:31:37,709 --> 00:31:38,499 I want my kidney! 497 00:31:38,709 --> 00:31:41,499 And go munch grass with your two nannies! 498 00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:43,874 My kidney! 499 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,499 I want my kidney! 500 00:31:46,875 --> 00:31:48,083 My kidney. 501 00:31:49,209 --> 00:31:50,124 Hello. 502 00:31:50,750 --> 00:31:53,749 Sorry but I'm shocked by what I just heard. 503 00:31:55,459 --> 00:31:56,249 I'm Marianne Bouvier. 504 00:31:57,709 --> 00:31:58,624 It's outrageous. 505 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,249 I'm with "In Depth". Heard of it? 506 00:32:03,834 --> 00:32:05,124 Probably not. 507 00:32:05,250 --> 00:32:06,874 I'm reporting on hospitals 508 00:32:07,334 --> 00:32:09,458 and I'd really like to help you. 509 00:32:09,625 --> 00:32:12,874 Not the Mother Teresa act again! 510 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,749 - What? - Enough. 511 00:32:14,875 --> 00:32:16,583 I'll be right back. 512 00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:20,999 Come on, Feruz, let's go. Hurry. 513 00:32:22,209 --> 00:32:23,999 We can't miss out on this. 514 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,874 I can't do it, Marianne. 515 00:32:27,250 --> 00:32:28,583 I have a shoot 516 00:32:28,750 --> 00:32:30,458 up in northern France. 517 00:32:30,834 --> 00:32:32,499 With the unemployed. 518 00:32:33,334 --> 00:32:35,749 If we tell their story, it'll help them. 519 00:32:36,084 --> 00:32:38,583 If you want to spend your time 520 00:32:38,750 --> 00:32:41,124 fighting for the weak, be my guest. 521 00:32:41,709 --> 00:32:42,874 The camera, 522 00:32:43,625 --> 00:32:45,499 the van keys. See you in Paris. 523 00:32:46,500 --> 00:32:49,749 Sure, go ahead, piss off. You waste of space! 524 00:32:52,334 --> 00:32:53,874 Where are you going? 525 00:32:54,084 --> 00:32:54,999 Female scum! 526 00:32:55,125 --> 00:32:57,833 Don't worry, I'm not with Immigration. 527 00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,374 I'll get your kidney back. 528 00:32:59,500 --> 00:33:00,749 We not need kidney! 529 00:33:00,959 --> 00:33:02,374 I want my kidney... 530 00:33:02,584 --> 00:33:04,874 You'll get 70 of them in paradise. 531 00:33:05,084 --> 00:33:07,999 I ready to die but only with all my parts! 532 00:33:08,209 --> 00:33:10,999 No one's going to die. We'll get it back. 533 00:33:11,209 --> 00:33:12,999 I'll drive you to Paris if I have to. 534 00:33:14,209 --> 00:33:16,374 - Paris? - Eiffel Tower! 535 00:33:17,625 --> 00:33:20,458 You can take us Paris? 536 00:33:20,625 --> 00:33:24,458 Of course. My car's right outside. Follow me. 537 00:33:25,250 --> 00:33:27,208 A woman with a car? 538 00:33:27,375 --> 00:33:29,624 The French are crazy. 539 00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:32,458 We follow her. It's easier. 540 00:33:42,334 --> 00:33:43,874 Bad idea coming here. 541 00:33:44,125 --> 00:33:45,624 - Want a ride to Paris? - Yes. 542 00:33:45,750 --> 00:33:46,874 Then trust me. 543 00:33:47,084 --> 00:33:50,083 You haven't seen the good side of France yet. 544 00:33:50,250 --> 00:33:54,083 It's a just and humane land, full of understanding people... 545 00:33:54,375 --> 00:33:55,958 - Hello, ma'am. - Miss. 546 00:33:56,250 --> 00:33:57,708 Number 44. 547 00:34:09,084 --> 00:34:10,249 I'm listening. 548 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,333 There's been a terrible medical error. 549 00:34:13,750 --> 00:34:16,124 His kidney was removed by mistake 550 00:34:16,375 --> 00:34:19,999 and he'd like it back before it's transplanted. 551 00:34:20,375 --> 00:34:21,583 I want my kidney! 552 00:34:22,125 --> 00:34:25,249 SMM. Serious Medical Malpractice. 553 00:34:28,125 --> 00:34:32,708 You have to file a complaint with the public prosecutor, 554 00:34:32,875 --> 00:34:34,874 adding the victim's medical file 555 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,833 obtained from the doctor in question, 556 00:34:38,334 --> 00:34:40,874 and a letter justifying the complaint, 557 00:34:41,125 --> 00:34:43,124 why you want the kidney back. 558 00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:44,874 After that, 559 00:34:45,084 --> 00:34:47,374 you'll need to launch civil action 560 00:34:47,625 --> 00:34:50,874 and submit your complaint for compensation... 561 00:34:51,125 --> 00:34:51,999 But... 562 00:34:52,209 --> 00:34:54,749 The compensation office 563 00:34:54,959 --> 00:34:58,833 closes at 4 PM, in other words in 5 minutes. 564 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,249 Tomorrow is a holiday, 565 00:35:00,459 --> 00:35:01,958 they'll take Friday off, 566 00:35:02,125 --> 00:35:03,124 then the weekend 567 00:35:03,375 --> 00:35:04,708 and a strike on Monday. 568 00:35:04,875 --> 00:35:06,458 Go on Tuesday morning. 569 00:35:06,625 --> 00:35:08,624 Early as they're very busy 570 00:35:08,875 --> 00:35:10,124 and pretty slow. 571 00:35:10,334 --> 00:35:12,874 It should take 4 or 5 years to settle. 572 00:35:14,125 --> 00:35:15,124 All right. 573 00:35:15,375 --> 00:35:16,708 Goodbye. 574 00:35:16,875 --> 00:35:17,833 No way! 575 00:35:18,125 --> 00:35:20,499 We want a guarantee he'll get it back! 576 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:21,958 Or what? 577 00:35:22,125 --> 00:35:24,708 I want my kidney now! 578 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,083 Give me my kidney 579 00:35:26,500 --> 00:35:29,374 or you give your kidney to me, old nanny goat! 580 00:35:29,584 --> 00:35:30,374 Calm down! 581 00:35:32,125 --> 00:35:32,874 Security! 582 00:35:36,959 --> 00:35:37,874 What? 583 00:35:39,250 --> 00:35:41,374 Give me your kidney too! 584 00:35:42,250 --> 00:35:45,083 Give me break, I did nothing to you. 585 00:35:45,250 --> 00:35:46,374 Calm down! 586 00:35:46,709 --> 00:35:48,374 They're the victims! 587 00:35:48,584 --> 00:35:51,458 It's a scandal, taking kidneys from people! 588 00:35:51,750 --> 00:35:53,499 They have documents? 589 00:35:54,375 --> 00:35:55,749 - No. - Undocumented then? 590 00:35:55,959 --> 00:35:58,749 Right, they're off to the holding center. 591 00:35:58,875 --> 00:35:59,583 The what? 592 00:35:59,750 --> 00:36:02,083 A resort without a pool or turista. 593 00:36:02,250 --> 00:36:03,833 - Only foreigners. - Please! 594 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:04,749 My kidney... 595 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,249 Stand up! 596 00:36:07,250 --> 00:36:09,499 You're crazy! He's in pain! 597 00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:10,958 Sure. 598 00:36:11,625 --> 00:36:13,958 We know all these gypsy tricks 599 00:36:14,125 --> 00:36:15,958 with their fake chairs and limbs. 600 00:36:16,250 --> 00:36:17,999 - Where is the center? - Up north. 601 00:36:18,375 --> 00:36:19,499 In Toulouse. 602 00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:23,374 Don't worry! 603 00:36:23,709 --> 00:36:25,374 I'll get you out, I promise. 604 00:36:26,709 --> 00:36:27,999 I won't let you down! 605 00:36:45,500 --> 00:36:49,083 Right, Mario and Luigi, we can't verify your identities 606 00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:51,999 so you'll be deported to your home country. 607 00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:54,999 That's it, it's all over. 608 00:36:55,209 --> 00:36:56,833 My kidney's gone for good! 609 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,958 Screw your kidney! We've brought shame on our land. 610 00:37:00,125 --> 00:37:02,749 We'll be executed, we won't go to paradise! 611 00:37:03,250 --> 00:37:04,374 You understand me? 612 00:37:04,625 --> 00:37:06,458 Absolutely. We speak French. 613 00:37:06,625 --> 00:37:09,749 Good, that'll save time. What country then? 614 00:37:10,125 --> 00:37:10,999 Taboulistan. 615 00:37:11,209 --> 00:37:14,124 Seriously? Does it exist? I never heard of it. 616 00:37:14,334 --> 00:37:16,999 Between Afghanistan, Tajikistan and Kirghizstan. 617 00:37:17,250 --> 00:37:19,624 Give me an in-stan to type it! 618 00:37:20,125 --> 00:37:22,583 You're not even on Google Maps. 619 00:37:23,125 --> 00:37:26,499 The only result is a Lebanese restaurant up the road. 620 00:37:26,834 --> 00:37:28,124 We not Lebanese! 621 00:37:28,334 --> 00:37:32,874 There's no extradition treaty so we'll ship you off fast. 622 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,124 Here we go... A flight for Baghdad 623 00:37:36,375 --> 00:37:37,374 tomorrow morning. 624 00:37:37,584 --> 00:37:38,749 Baghdad? 625 00:37:38,875 --> 00:37:41,749 But we not Arabs, we Tabouls. 626 00:37:41,959 --> 00:37:43,624 No beard, only moustache. 627 00:37:43,875 --> 00:37:45,083 Same difference. 628 00:37:45,250 --> 00:37:47,999 - Not same! - 3,000 km away! 629 00:37:48,209 --> 00:37:49,458 A hike will do you good. 630 00:37:50,375 --> 00:37:51,624 You can call your tribe 631 00:37:51,834 --> 00:37:54,333 just over there. Welcome to Club Med. 632 00:37:54,500 --> 00:37:55,708 Baghdad? 633 00:37:56,875 --> 00:37:59,458 What become us in Baghdad? 634 00:38:05,250 --> 00:38:07,624 Alin? It's Yannick Noah. 635 00:38:07,875 --> 00:38:09,708 Five days without news! 636 00:38:09,875 --> 00:38:12,999 I very angry, you filthy trashcan hound! 637 00:38:13,709 --> 00:38:15,708 Now I hear what? You still alive? 638 00:38:15,875 --> 00:38:17,499 I even more angrier! 639 00:38:17,709 --> 00:38:20,124 It not our fault. Plane not go to Paris. 640 00:38:20,250 --> 00:38:21,249 Police arrest us 641 00:38:21,459 --> 00:38:22,499 and send us back. 642 00:38:22,625 --> 00:38:23,499 Shut up! 643 00:38:23,709 --> 00:38:27,124 I swear on my life of mine, if you come back here 644 00:38:27,584 --> 00:38:29,249 and Eiffel Tower standing, 645 00:38:29,459 --> 00:38:32,374 I unleash hell on an old gentleman 646 00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:34,999 I go to fetch from your village... 647 00:38:35,834 --> 00:38:37,833 Yes, Dada! 648 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,374 Say hi, Dada. 649 00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:40,374 Hi. 650 00:38:40,834 --> 00:38:41,749 Hi, Dada! 651 00:38:42,250 --> 00:38:45,124 I bring him to get air, he was too pale. 652 00:38:45,625 --> 00:38:46,999 Very kind, Alin. 653 00:38:47,209 --> 00:38:48,958 Take walk, Dada. 654 00:38:51,250 --> 00:38:52,499 Turn right! 655 00:38:58,125 --> 00:39:01,374 If you hesitate, Dada not always miss bullets. 656 00:39:01,709 --> 00:39:02,499 Get it? 657 00:39:04,125 --> 00:39:05,458 I count on you. 658 00:39:05,959 --> 00:39:07,958 Goodbye, Alain. 659 00:39:23,375 --> 00:39:25,124 Take it, for you. 660 00:39:25,459 --> 00:39:27,208 - What's that? - Money. 661 00:39:27,375 --> 00:39:28,499 500. 662 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,249 We not go Baghdad. 663 00:39:31,500 --> 00:39:32,458 Put that away. 664 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:33,999 Who do you think I am? 665 00:39:34,209 --> 00:39:36,083 We have ethics here in France. 666 00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:37,999 Ethics? 667 00:39:38,250 --> 00:39:39,124 What's ethics? 668 00:39:39,334 --> 00:39:40,374 No idea. 669 00:39:43,250 --> 00:39:44,499 Then again... 670 00:39:45,625 --> 00:39:47,458 there may be another way... 671 00:39:52,250 --> 00:39:53,124 All right... 672 00:39:53,709 --> 00:39:56,833 It's Croc-Croc's birthday and Fragada 673 00:39:57,375 --> 00:39:58,833 brings him his present. 674 00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:01,124 Come here. 675 00:40:01,334 --> 00:40:02,999 You too. 676 00:40:04,500 --> 00:40:06,874 You're good, you devils. 677 00:40:07,250 --> 00:40:09,208 It's party time. 678 00:40:09,375 --> 00:40:11,333 You're having fun. 679 00:40:11,834 --> 00:40:12,999 Start dancing. 680 00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:17,624 Do it or you're off to Baghdad! 681 00:40:18,375 --> 00:40:20,999 Dance! 682 00:40:21,709 --> 00:40:23,249 I can't dance in this! 683 00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:24,624 Come on, Fragada! 684 00:40:24,875 --> 00:40:26,458 Stop talking and dance. 685 00:40:29,750 --> 00:40:30,874 Not like that! 686 00:40:31,084 --> 00:40:32,624 Make it more sensual! 687 00:40:32,875 --> 00:40:34,708 Rub against each other. 688 00:40:35,334 --> 00:40:37,333 - This is good, huh? - No. 689 00:40:38,459 --> 00:40:39,708 You're so soft... 690 00:40:41,750 --> 00:40:42,833 And you... 691 00:40:43,750 --> 00:40:45,374 You smell of strawberries. 692 00:40:45,709 --> 00:40:46,874 It's disgusting. 693 00:40:47,084 --> 00:40:50,208 No, it's not disgusting, it's natural. 694 00:41:00,125 --> 00:41:01,124 Good evening. 695 00:41:04,250 --> 00:41:07,458 It's so hot this evening, don't you think? 696 00:41:09,625 --> 00:41:11,083 Officer... 697 00:41:11,375 --> 00:41:13,624 I'm ok, I have air-con. 698 00:41:14,250 --> 00:41:15,333 Great... 699 00:41:16,584 --> 00:41:18,999 Croc-Croc doesn't like your present. 700 00:41:19,375 --> 00:41:20,999 You went to so much trouble... 701 00:41:21,250 --> 00:41:22,499 So spank him. 702 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:23,999 This is weird. 703 00:41:24,250 --> 00:41:25,499 You're weird. Do it! 704 00:41:25,709 --> 00:41:27,874 - I don't want spank him. - Spank! 705 00:41:28,625 --> 00:41:30,749 Come on, we're losing the rhythm! 706 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,208 Spank! 707 00:41:33,375 --> 00:41:34,874 Show naughty Croc-Croc! 708 00:41:35,334 --> 00:41:37,249 - You want spank? - That's good! 709 00:41:37,459 --> 00:41:40,458 I spank, you want that? 710 00:41:44,459 --> 00:41:46,124 No, it's too confused. 711 00:41:46,334 --> 00:41:47,833 Confused, he said! 712 00:41:48,209 --> 00:41:49,624 But you're the one who... 713 00:41:53,375 --> 00:41:55,624 This what you want? Spank? 714 00:41:56,125 --> 00:41:57,874 This is fantastic. 715 00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:02,958 Carry on, I'll get Tornado. 716 00:42:05,209 --> 00:42:06,124 Stop! 717 00:42:08,625 --> 00:42:09,583 Come on! 718 00:42:20,750 --> 00:42:21,833 Hurry! 719 00:42:40,125 --> 00:42:43,499 Fetch your superior now so I can explain! 720 00:42:43,750 --> 00:42:47,374 If they're not examined by a doctor in 10 minutes, 721 00:42:47,750 --> 00:42:49,124 it's a tragedy for them 722 00:42:49,375 --> 00:42:51,499 and the job line for you! Get it? 723 00:42:52,250 --> 00:42:55,874 Madam, I'll be frank with you, totally frank... 724 00:42:56,375 --> 00:42:57,374 I don't give a shit. 725 00:42:58,250 --> 00:43:00,208 I really don't give a shit. 726 00:43:00,375 --> 00:43:01,999 Not even one little turd! 727 00:43:02,125 --> 00:43:04,499 See you, weather girl! 728 00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:09,833 Who's going to punish naughty Croc-Croc and Fragada? 729 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,874 Tornado! 730 00:43:13,500 --> 00:43:14,624 The bastards... 731 00:43:17,959 --> 00:43:19,208 I don't believe it! 732 00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:21,499 Where the hell are they? 733 00:43:27,709 --> 00:43:30,083 You'd rather work all night then! 734 00:43:30,250 --> 00:43:31,874 You can't do this to me! 735 00:43:32,084 --> 00:43:33,708 The hell I can't! 736 00:43:42,584 --> 00:43:43,624 Screw this... 737 00:43:48,084 --> 00:43:50,749 It's Bernard. Two of them got away. 738 00:43:50,875 --> 00:43:53,374 Let me get changed and I'm on my way. 739 00:44:13,334 --> 00:44:14,208 There! 740 00:44:22,375 --> 00:44:23,499 Great... 741 00:44:28,334 --> 00:44:29,499 Shit! 742 00:44:35,709 --> 00:44:36,624 Marianne Bouvier? 743 00:44:36,834 --> 00:44:38,333 What are you doing there? 744 00:44:56,375 --> 00:44:58,333 Marianne Bouvier! Help us! 745 00:44:59,334 --> 00:45:00,208 Climb out! 746 00:45:02,250 --> 00:45:03,499 No, too fast! 747 00:45:03,709 --> 00:45:04,749 Come on, jump! 748 00:45:08,709 --> 00:45:09,624 It kill us! 749 00:45:09,875 --> 00:45:10,499 Hold on! 750 00:45:13,125 --> 00:45:14,958 Look at that asshole! 751 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:25,874 - What the fuck? - Brake! 752 00:45:35,375 --> 00:45:36,999 You're fucking crazy! 753 00:45:37,209 --> 00:45:39,499 You forgot my trash again. 754 00:45:40,750 --> 00:45:43,124 You nearly killed us for that?! 755 00:45:43,375 --> 00:45:45,708 C'mon, I worked the distance out. 756 00:45:45,875 --> 00:45:49,124 If it was up to me, you'd never drive again. 757 00:45:49,375 --> 00:45:51,624 Thanks to you, the planet's dying! 758 00:45:52,334 --> 00:45:53,208 I do my bit. 759 00:45:53,500 --> 00:45:55,249 I sort my trash. So do yours. 760 00:45:56,750 --> 00:45:57,958 It's recyclable. 761 00:45:58,750 --> 00:45:59,749 Crazy bitch... 762 00:46:03,125 --> 00:46:08,499 We did it! 763 00:46:09,875 --> 00:46:11,249 - We did it? - Yes! 764 00:46:18,959 --> 00:46:20,708 What's with the outfits? 765 00:46:21,584 --> 00:46:22,749 It's complicated. 766 00:46:22,959 --> 00:46:25,624 Why were you on the gate? 767 00:46:25,750 --> 00:46:27,999 I live nearby. I ran out of sugar. 768 00:46:28,375 --> 00:46:29,874 You live near prison? 769 00:46:30,084 --> 00:46:32,374 No, dummy, I was coming to get you. 770 00:46:32,625 --> 00:46:33,874 I had to get you out. 771 00:46:34,209 --> 00:46:35,208 Thank you. 772 00:46:35,375 --> 00:46:36,124 What called? 773 00:46:36,584 --> 00:46:38,249 Marianne Bouvier! 774 00:46:38,625 --> 00:46:40,833 And now we go Paris! 775 00:46:52,375 --> 00:46:56,124 An unusual escape from the holding center. 776 00:46:56,250 --> 00:46:59,208 Two Pakistani illegals managed to get away 777 00:46:59,375 --> 00:47:02,499 dressed as a rabbit and a centipede. 778 00:47:02,625 --> 00:47:06,583 The communiqué doesn't say if the officers were drunk. 779 00:47:06,750 --> 00:47:09,624 The two fugitives are believed to be somewhere near Toulouse. 780 00:47:09,750 --> 00:47:12,249 And now, back to the music. 781 00:47:25,584 --> 00:47:28,124 Good morning. Time for some music 782 00:47:28,334 --> 00:47:29,749 with Charles Trenet... 783 00:47:50,875 --> 00:47:51,624 Good morning. 784 00:48:13,334 --> 00:48:15,499 Sweet France 785 00:48:16,334 --> 00:48:18,999 Dear land of my childhood 786 00:48:21,250 --> 00:48:23,999 Lulled by tender, carefree days 787 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,333 I've kept you in my heart 788 00:48:30,125 --> 00:48:31,249 My village 789 00:48:31,959 --> 00:48:32,833 Look! 790 00:48:33,500 --> 00:48:36,249 Lts steeple, its peaceful homes 791 00:48:38,084 --> 00:48:39,624 Where children of my age 792 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,624 Shared those happy times 793 00:48:46,959 --> 00:48:48,624 Yes, I love you! 794 00:48:50,375 --> 00:48:52,749 And I give you this poem... 795 00:48:57,750 --> 00:48:58,374 This is it? 796 00:48:58,625 --> 00:49:01,124 We in Paris now? That Notre-Dame? 797 00:49:01,250 --> 00:49:02,333 No, not yet. 798 00:49:02,709 --> 00:49:05,874 We're stopping in St Cirq-Lapopie in Dordogne. 799 00:49:06,125 --> 00:49:08,124 Marianne, we must go Paris! 800 00:49:08,250 --> 00:49:09,999 Chill, Ninja Turtle! 801 00:49:11,334 --> 00:49:12,749 You're wanted. 802 00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,249 So we're avoiding freeways and tolls. 803 00:49:16,584 --> 00:49:19,124 We have to be more discreet, ok? 804 00:49:19,375 --> 00:49:21,124 - We wanted? - Yes, we wanted. 805 00:49:21,459 --> 00:49:23,999 You'll get noticed, looking like terrorists 806 00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:25,749 in Care Bear suits! 807 00:49:26,084 --> 00:49:27,499 We not terrorists! 808 00:49:27,625 --> 00:49:29,208 Not terrorists, no! 809 00:49:32,625 --> 00:49:34,374 Why flags everywhere? 810 00:49:34,625 --> 00:49:35,833 It's Bastille Day. 811 00:49:36,125 --> 00:49:37,624 The national holiday 812 00:49:37,750 --> 00:49:39,583 to celebrate the Revolution. 813 00:49:40,250 --> 00:49:41,499 They cut off the king's head. 814 00:49:42,250 --> 00:49:44,874 You cut head off your Great Leader? 815 00:49:46,625 --> 00:49:48,624 Celebrate a cut head every year? 816 00:49:49,709 --> 00:49:51,374 It's a bit weird. 817 00:49:51,750 --> 00:49:54,958 We mainly celebrate the values born that day. 818 00:49:55,125 --> 00:49:57,208 Liberty, equality and fraternity. 819 00:50:00,250 --> 00:50:01,458 I have right of way! 820 00:50:01,625 --> 00:50:02,874 Learn to drive, bitch! 821 00:50:03,750 --> 00:50:05,499 Come here and say that! 822 00:50:05,709 --> 00:50:06,749 Come on! 823 00:50:06,959 --> 00:50:10,083 Yeah, fuck off! Go home to mommy, loser! 824 00:50:11,375 --> 00:50:12,499 - Move! - Sorry... 825 00:50:12,625 --> 00:50:13,708 Asshole! 826 00:50:21,125 --> 00:50:23,499 I think I begin understand... 827 00:50:24,125 --> 00:50:26,749 Here, woman is like man. 828 00:50:27,459 --> 00:50:28,833 I told you. 829 00:50:29,750 --> 00:50:30,458 What? 830 00:50:31,459 --> 00:50:33,624 Pretty village. 831 00:50:33,750 --> 00:50:35,249 Very interesting. 832 00:50:36,459 --> 00:50:39,874 My aunt has a house here. No one will bother us. 833 00:50:40,084 --> 00:50:42,208 And I'm starving. Aren't you? 834 00:50:42,375 --> 00:50:43,499 Yes, eat! 835 00:50:58,209 --> 00:51:01,499 Look how handsome they are now they're clean! 836 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:02,749 Marianne, 837 00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:05,374 you found them at the Gay Pride parade? 838 00:51:07,209 --> 00:51:08,208 Very classy! 839 00:51:10,250 --> 00:51:12,374 Here's to me! 840 00:51:13,084 --> 00:51:14,249 Mind out. 841 00:51:14,834 --> 00:51:16,874 Truffle omelet, 842 00:51:17,250 --> 00:51:20,874 escargots with parsley, foie gras and gizzard salad. 843 00:51:21,250 --> 00:51:22,124 Thanks, Nanette! 844 00:51:22,334 --> 00:51:25,874 This will cheer you up after all your troubles. 845 00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,499 - Female scum! - Enjoy it. Dig in. 846 00:51:34,250 --> 00:51:35,374 Try with cutlery! 847 00:51:38,625 --> 00:51:39,499 Forget it. 848 00:51:48,084 --> 00:51:48,749 It's good. 849 00:51:50,125 --> 00:51:50,999 Without the shell, 850 00:51:51,250 --> 00:51:52,958 they're even better. 851 00:52:00,250 --> 00:52:01,874 Better without shell. 852 00:52:02,125 --> 00:52:03,999 Use cutlery! 853 00:52:04,959 --> 00:52:05,833 Like this! 854 00:52:10,250 --> 00:52:11,624 Listen up, people, 855 00:52:11,834 --> 00:52:14,499 this wine is pure nectar. 856 00:52:14,625 --> 00:52:16,749 God may have created water, 857 00:52:16,959 --> 00:52:19,708 but man made St Emilion. 858 00:52:19,875 --> 00:52:21,458 You're in for a treat. 859 00:52:22,250 --> 00:52:23,708 Stand up, everyone. 860 00:52:26,625 --> 00:52:27,833 To the mailman, 861 00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:29,499 his moped 862 00:52:29,625 --> 00:52:30,999 and the jerks waiting for him! 863 00:52:35,959 --> 00:52:36,999 Cheers! 864 00:52:38,500 --> 00:52:39,583 In the eyes! 865 00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:41,999 Glass in the eyes? 866 00:52:42,500 --> 00:52:46,249 Look into the other person's eyes or it's bad luck 867 00:52:46,750 --> 00:52:47,999 and you'll go to hell. 868 00:52:48,375 --> 00:52:50,124 No, I go paradise. 869 00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:52,249 In the eyes! 870 00:53:06,625 --> 00:53:10,583 I feel overcome 871 00:53:10,750 --> 00:53:14,874 by powerful feeling of harmony... 872 00:53:15,709 --> 00:53:17,999 As if someone put in glass 873 00:53:18,375 --> 00:53:20,499 concentrated happiness... 874 00:53:25,709 --> 00:53:26,874 More! 875 00:53:28,125 --> 00:53:30,958 Let's get serious now. 876 00:53:31,125 --> 00:53:33,208 Nanette's sausage and bean hotpot! 877 00:53:34,875 --> 00:53:36,374 With cutlery. 878 00:53:37,959 --> 00:53:38,749 Well? 879 00:53:39,209 --> 00:53:39,999 Very good. 880 00:53:40,125 --> 00:53:41,833 - Isn't it? - Very, very good. 881 00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,958 In the eyes! 882 00:53:52,250 --> 00:53:53,333 Is it good? 883 00:53:54,375 --> 00:53:55,874 Very good. 884 00:53:56,125 --> 00:53:58,499 Don't give them any more drink... 885 00:54:05,709 --> 00:54:07,374 Long live grape juice! 886 00:54:10,500 --> 00:54:13,833 France best cooking in world! 887 00:54:14,834 --> 00:54:18,249 Just a second, Moustache Man, this isn't France. 888 00:54:20,625 --> 00:54:22,249 It's not France yet? 889 00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:24,458 When's France? 890 00:54:25,125 --> 00:54:27,249 This is the Southwest. 891 00:54:27,500 --> 00:54:28,833 Yes, it's different. 892 00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:30,874 Here we have fun, we live... 893 00:54:31,500 --> 00:54:33,624 - We have big hearts. - And huge balls! 894 00:54:36,459 --> 00:54:40,999 We have Cantal, Brie and goat's cheese. 895 00:54:48,375 --> 00:54:49,749 Poor Dada. 896 00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:56,999 Thank you. Best eating in all my life. 897 00:54:57,250 --> 00:54:59,249 Thank you, Marianne, but now 898 00:54:59,459 --> 00:55:00,833 we must go Paris. 899 00:55:03,625 --> 00:55:04,374 Not just yet. 900 00:55:06,209 --> 00:55:09,458 After the feast, we fight the flab. 901 00:55:09,750 --> 00:55:11,124 Fight who? 902 00:55:51,584 --> 00:55:53,124 This game is weird. 903 00:55:54,250 --> 00:55:56,249 Marianne, what we do here? 904 00:55:56,500 --> 00:55:58,374 - We must leave! - Just a minute. 905 00:55:58,584 --> 00:55:59,999 You can't refuse. 906 00:56:00,250 --> 00:56:01,374 Go eat stones! 907 00:56:01,750 --> 00:56:02,999 Run! 908 00:56:09,959 --> 00:56:10,999 To the left! 909 00:56:16,375 --> 00:56:17,624 He's one of us 910 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,249 He's soiled his shirt like the rest of us 911 00:56:21,625 --> 00:56:24,999 Muzafar, rugby's new man 912 00:56:25,125 --> 00:56:28,749 Despite his tiny organ 913 00:56:31,625 --> 00:56:36,333 Pin dick! 914 00:56:41,584 --> 00:56:42,624 Marianne! 915 00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:45,333 Marianne, enough! 916 00:56:45,625 --> 00:56:47,749 Stop now! 917 00:56:48,834 --> 00:56:51,999 Enough. I want to go Paris. 918 00:56:52,209 --> 00:56:54,624 One last drink and we'll go. 919 00:56:55,375 --> 00:56:56,749 Do you know Armagnac? 920 00:56:56,959 --> 00:56:57,999 Don't know it. 921 00:56:58,125 --> 00:57:00,249 There's nothing stronger. 922 00:57:00,750 --> 00:57:02,374 Waiter! Three Armagnacs. 923 00:57:04,750 --> 00:57:06,583 Wait. In the eyes! 924 00:57:11,209 --> 00:57:12,208 Again! 925 00:57:14,500 --> 00:57:15,499 It's... 926 00:57:15,709 --> 00:57:18,708 - It's interesting. - Yes. 927 00:57:18,875 --> 00:57:20,499 - Even so... - It's not very strong. 928 00:57:20,709 --> 00:57:22,583 No, it's not strong. 929 00:57:27,209 --> 00:57:29,624 That's Bastille Day! 930 00:57:30,750 --> 00:57:33,249 - France... - Fashion... 931 00:57:33,459 --> 00:57:35,374 You look like a chicken. 932 00:57:35,625 --> 00:57:36,833 I want to eat you. 933 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:38,124 Look at me. 934 00:57:39,459 --> 00:57:40,624 A photo! 935 00:58:28,084 --> 00:58:29,708 Come dance! 936 00:58:29,875 --> 00:58:32,249 No, I not know how dance this. 937 00:58:32,375 --> 00:58:34,333 I prefer watch you. 938 00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:41,624 Feruz... 939 00:58:43,709 --> 00:58:45,249 I must tell you... 940 00:58:46,334 --> 00:58:48,749 I must tell you something too. 941 00:58:51,084 --> 00:58:53,083 I love you, Muzafar. 942 00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:57,124 I going to give you little kiss! 943 00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:00,208 Don't touch, that's bad! 944 00:59:01,250 --> 00:59:02,249 What you want to say? 945 00:59:04,334 --> 00:59:05,374 Feruz... 946 00:59:08,625 --> 00:59:09,749 I love you too. 947 00:59:16,459 --> 00:59:19,083 We show them what dance is! 948 01:00:09,375 --> 01:00:11,083 It's the Tawa! 949 01:00:14,875 --> 01:00:15,874 That much? 950 01:00:16,250 --> 01:00:18,124 I thought that was the date! 951 01:00:18,959 --> 01:00:22,124 I'll teach you another great French tradition. 952 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:24,999 The dine and dash. 953 01:00:25,334 --> 01:00:26,374 What is? 954 01:00:26,500 --> 01:00:27,499 Well... 955 01:00:28,084 --> 01:00:30,124 First you drink... 956 01:00:35,834 --> 01:00:38,499 Then you take your things... 957 01:00:41,750 --> 01:00:43,833 And then... you run! 958 01:00:50,875 --> 01:00:51,999 Marianne! 959 01:00:52,625 --> 01:00:54,833 Hey, you! 960 01:01:09,084 --> 01:01:10,874 That's Bastille Day! 961 01:01:11,084 --> 01:01:12,333 We did it! 962 01:01:12,500 --> 01:01:14,124 We lose him! 963 01:01:15,459 --> 01:01:16,958 Where we go? 964 01:01:17,125 --> 01:01:18,333 What you do? 965 01:01:20,125 --> 01:01:21,333 A midnight dip! 966 01:01:29,500 --> 01:01:30,624 Come on in! 967 01:01:31,875 --> 01:01:34,999 I already do sport today. 968 01:01:35,250 --> 01:01:36,208 Come on! 969 01:01:36,375 --> 01:01:37,874 I not know how swim. 970 01:01:38,125 --> 01:01:38,999 Come on... 971 01:01:39,959 --> 01:01:41,208 It's not deep. 972 01:01:55,750 --> 01:01:57,083 It's interesting. 973 01:01:57,625 --> 01:02:01,333 I have one last French specialty to show you... 974 01:02:02,209 --> 01:02:03,124 You have? 975 01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:06,624 What is it? 976 01:02:11,959 --> 01:02:14,374 It's called a "ménage à trois". 977 01:02:15,625 --> 01:02:17,958 I'm too tired to manage anything. 978 01:02:19,750 --> 01:02:22,499 Three managers work faster. 979 01:02:22,709 --> 01:02:25,458 Many hands make light work. 980 01:02:25,625 --> 01:02:26,458 That's true. 981 01:03:37,625 --> 01:03:39,249 Room service. 982 01:03:42,875 --> 01:03:46,208 Uncle found us a car. They may be looking for my van. 983 01:03:48,334 --> 01:03:49,958 I'll just say goodbye. 984 01:03:50,125 --> 01:03:51,499 Ok, you lovebirds? 985 01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:52,874 Get moving! 986 01:04:13,375 --> 01:04:17,249 Feruz, wake up. We must go Paris. Dress! 987 01:04:18,750 --> 01:04:20,124 Good morning. 988 01:04:20,250 --> 01:04:21,374 Not good morning! 989 01:04:21,750 --> 01:04:23,833 We must finish job. 990 01:04:31,209 --> 01:04:33,499 - Can't we stay a while? - No! 991 01:04:34,625 --> 01:04:35,874 Why not? 992 01:04:36,500 --> 01:04:37,874 It's nice here. 993 01:04:38,834 --> 01:04:39,958 I know. 994 01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:43,208 What you do? 995 01:04:43,375 --> 01:04:44,833 Call now. She not here. 996 01:04:45,125 --> 01:04:46,583 Not with her phone! 997 01:04:46,959 --> 01:04:47,749 Hello? 998 01:04:48,500 --> 01:04:49,333 You wet goat! 999 01:04:49,500 --> 01:04:50,249 Who is it? 1000 01:04:50,500 --> 01:04:52,124 I didn't mean you. 1001 01:04:52,250 --> 01:04:54,999 It's Yannick. We soon arrive in Paris. 1002 01:04:55,250 --> 01:04:57,374 Why you not in Paris yet? 1003 01:04:57,625 --> 01:04:59,833 It very complicated here. 1004 01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,208 We not even know if we in France. 1005 01:05:02,375 --> 01:05:03,999 But we find very kind woman. 1006 01:05:05,084 --> 01:05:07,749 You think you there to go to dancing party? 1007 01:05:09,209 --> 01:05:10,499 Hang up, she come back! 1008 01:05:11,084 --> 01:05:11,958 For explosives, 1009 01:05:12,584 --> 01:05:14,749 metro La Courneuve 10 sharp tomorrow. 1010 01:05:15,125 --> 01:05:16,583 10 sharp, La Courneuve. 1011 01:05:16,750 --> 01:05:18,749 You explode Tower at 13 hours. 1012 01:05:19,125 --> 01:05:20,708 13 hours the Tower. 1013 01:05:21,709 --> 01:05:22,999 Or Dada no longer 1014 01:05:23,250 --> 01:05:24,583 miss bullets. 1015 01:05:25,084 --> 01:05:26,958 No, not Dada. 1016 01:05:27,125 --> 01:05:28,374 I count on you. 1017 01:05:28,584 --> 01:05:30,624 - Don't do... - Repeat please. 1018 01:05:30,750 --> 01:05:33,124 Hang up! 1019 01:05:34,500 --> 01:05:35,624 Stop! 1020 01:05:36,834 --> 01:05:37,499 Ready? 1021 01:05:40,500 --> 01:05:41,624 What's wrong? 1022 01:05:46,125 --> 01:05:48,624 5 hours with you is going to be fun. 1023 01:05:49,250 --> 01:05:50,458 Let's go. 1024 01:05:58,625 --> 01:06:00,708 These will help. 1025 01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:11,874 Perfect. 1026 01:06:41,334 --> 01:06:42,333 White line! 1027 01:06:42,500 --> 01:06:43,374 Shit! The cops! 1028 01:06:47,084 --> 01:06:49,624 - You not stop! - Or we charter Baghdad! 1029 01:06:49,875 --> 01:06:50,749 Ok, I know! 1030 01:06:52,959 --> 01:06:53,624 Drive! 1031 01:06:54,750 --> 01:06:55,874 Turn right! 1032 01:07:02,375 --> 01:07:03,499 Do something! 1033 01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:11,499 Calm down! Are they there? 1034 01:07:12,125 --> 01:07:14,249 Yes! No! I don't know! 1035 01:07:31,625 --> 01:07:32,749 Broken. 1036 01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:40,749 Uncle won't be pleased... 1037 01:07:41,250 --> 01:07:44,499 Lost. We never arrive in Paris. 1038 01:07:44,750 --> 01:07:45,958 All because of her! 1039 01:07:46,125 --> 01:07:48,249 Stop shouting Marianne. 1040 01:07:48,709 --> 01:07:50,083 She try help us. 1041 01:07:50,250 --> 01:07:53,458 We should never have trusted woman. 1042 01:07:54,834 --> 01:07:56,583 Drop the Middle Ages attitude! 1043 01:07:56,750 --> 01:07:57,999 Female scum. 1044 01:08:03,959 --> 01:08:05,249 They find us? 1045 01:08:05,625 --> 01:08:07,624 They armed? They kill us? 1046 01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:09,333 No, they're hunters. 1047 01:08:09,500 --> 01:08:12,124 They only shoot birds, not people. 1048 01:08:12,500 --> 01:08:14,333 Hello, gentlemen. 1049 01:08:14,625 --> 01:08:16,583 We wanted to take a short cut 1050 01:08:17,625 --> 01:08:18,749 but we got lost. 1051 01:08:19,750 --> 01:08:21,999 Do you know if anyone could help us? 1052 01:08:30,375 --> 01:08:31,374 Nothing. 1053 01:08:32,625 --> 01:08:33,583 It's nothing. 1054 01:09:06,209 --> 01:09:06,874 Ok... 1055 01:09:08,334 --> 01:09:10,499 Thank you very much. 1056 01:09:20,875 --> 01:09:22,124 Savages! 1057 01:09:25,834 --> 01:09:27,124 I didn't understand a word. 1058 01:09:28,209 --> 01:09:30,499 I think he called Cazenave 1059 01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:32,624 to ask if garage open. 1060 01:09:32,834 --> 01:09:36,624 He say garage open and come in 20 minutes with tow truck. 1061 01:09:42,375 --> 01:09:45,749 Are you making progress on the attack? 1062 01:09:45,959 --> 01:09:49,458 Yes, Dad. A minor hitch but nothing serious. 1063 01:09:49,625 --> 01:09:50,583 I hope not. 1064 01:09:50,750 --> 01:09:51,874 Stop! 1065 01:09:55,500 --> 01:09:56,749 I need to pee. 1066 01:10:01,209 --> 01:10:02,208 Come on. 1067 01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:08,083 Come here! 1068 01:10:17,500 --> 01:10:18,624 Yes, Dad? 1069 01:10:19,750 --> 01:10:21,083 Remember your brothers 1070 01:10:21,709 --> 01:10:23,708 Maruf and Ouloukbek? 1071 01:10:24,125 --> 01:10:26,124 No, Dad. I never knew them. 1072 01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:28,124 Exactly. 1073 01:10:28,709 --> 01:10:31,958 That's because they disappointed me. 1074 01:10:34,250 --> 01:10:37,624 So don't disappoint me too. 1075 01:10:39,084 --> 01:10:40,124 Get lost now! 1076 01:10:41,125 --> 01:10:42,249 Get lost! 1077 01:10:45,875 --> 01:10:47,624 Hermet, pack the bags. 1078 01:10:47,834 --> 01:10:49,583 - Your bags? - Our bags! 1079 01:10:50,125 --> 01:10:52,124 We're taking a trip. 1080 01:10:56,209 --> 01:10:58,624 You can't count on anyone. 1081 01:10:59,125 --> 01:11:00,499 Here you are. 1082 01:11:01,209 --> 01:11:02,374 This is it. 1083 01:11:02,500 --> 01:11:03,958 Welcome to Paris. 1084 01:11:09,125 --> 01:11:10,249 Paris! 1085 01:12:40,750 --> 01:12:43,583 We'll go to the hospital first thing tomorrow. 1086 01:12:45,375 --> 01:12:47,374 Don't worry, we'll make it. 1087 01:12:48,875 --> 01:12:50,583 Make yourselves at home. 1088 01:12:51,209 --> 01:12:54,374 I'm going to... a short break... because... 1089 01:12:54,875 --> 01:12:56,708 It's so... 1090 01:13:09,250 --> 01:13:10,374 Stop! 1091 01:13:11,500 --> 01:13:12,583 What you do? 1092 01:13:13,125 --> 01:13:14,124 Come. 1093 01:13:14,334 --> 01:13:15,333 But... 1094 01:13:20,750 --> 01:13:22,958 We are the RTT. 1095 01:13:24,250 --> 01:13:26,083 You now. 1096 01:13:26,625 --> 01:13:28,458 Go on, give me hate! 1097 01:13:30,834 --> 01:13:33,624 We claim responsibility... 1098 01:13:37,209 --> 01:13:40,499 We claim responsibility for attack on Eiffel Tower 1099 01:13:40,625 --> 01:13:43,499 on July 16th at 13 hours! 1100 01:13:45,250 --> 01:13:46,374 What you do? 1101 01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:49,124 What you do? Come back! 1102 01:13:56,834 --> 01:13:58,124 What is it, Feruz? 1103 01:14:02,750 --> 01:14:05,958 I not really understand what we do here. 1104 01:14:06,709 --> 01:14:10,249 Yesterday, I have incredible day. 1105 01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:12,083 It's true. 1106 01:14:13,125 --> 01:14:15,499 I not want paradise up there now. 1107 01:14:16,250 --> 01:14:18,999 I want to live down here. 1108 01:14:19,875 --> 01:14:21,624 And live in shame? 1109 01:14:21,834 --> 01:14:24,833 For betraying your country, your village 1110 01:14:25,000 --> 01:14:25,958 and your family? 1111 01:14:27,625 --> 01:14:28,958 We have no choice. 1112 01:14:29,375 --> 01:14:30,749 We must finish mission. 1113 01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:33,874 What mission? His plan sucks. 1114 01:14:34,459 --> 01:14:35,499 Plan A, Plan B... 1115 01:14:35,875 --> 01:14:38,249 Exploding people by exploding yourself. 1116 01:14:38,459 --> 01:14:39,999 That's shame. 1117 01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:44,958 All for a leader we put up with for 36 years now! 1118 01:14:45,125 --> 01:14:46,499 I want no more leader! 1119 01:14:46,875 --> 01:14:48,249 Cut off his head! 1120 01:14:49,625 --> 01:14:50,374 I want 1121 01:14:50,959 --> 01:14:52,499 to eat snails, 1122 01:14:53,250 --> 01:14:54,708 drink grapes. 1123 01:14:55,709 --> 01:14:57,499 I not want explode myself. 1124 01:14:57,750 --> 01:14:59,624 I want to have blast! 1125 01:15:02,500 --> 01:15:04,624 You let Marianne influence you. 1126 01:15:05,875 --> 01:15:07,249 Remember what they did. 1127 01:15:07,459 --> 01:15:09,249 You like losing kidney? 1128 01:15:09,500 --> 01:15:10,208 No. 1129 01:15:10,375 --> 01:15:11,708 And Fragada... 1130 01:15:12,209 --> 01:15:13,124 Was that blast? 1131 01:15:13,459 --> 01:15:14,249 No way. 1132 01:15:14,500 --> 01:15:15,499 So? 1133 01:15:16,125 --> 01:15:17,833 I feel more alive here 1134 01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:20,249 in one day than in rest of my life. 1135 01:15:22,000 --> 01:15:23,708 Coward! 1136 01:15:24,584 --> 01:15:26,749 I finish mission alone. 1137 01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:28,124 Martyr... 1138 01:15:31,375 --> 01:15:32,749 Shame on you, Feruz. 1139 01:15:36,500 --> 01:15:37,749 Shame on you. 1140 01:16:05,084 --> 01:16:06,333 Muzafar... 1141 01:16:33,209 --> 01:16:33,874 Yannick? 1142 01:16:34,750 --> 01:16:36,124 Kevin. Move your ass! 1143 01:16:38,209 --> 01:16:39,083 Climb on. 1144 01:16:39,459 --> 01:16:41,124 Don't take forever. 1145 01:16:43,500 --> 01:16:45,499 You don't look like a Yannick. 1146 01:16:45,709 --> 01:16:47,874 I am. Yannick Noah. 1147 01:16:56,334 --> 01:16:58,333 I'll see how it's going. 1148 01:16:58,625 --> 01:16:59,958 Sit here. 1149 01:17:00,584 --> 01:17:02,499 I'll come and fetch you. 1150 01:17:02,709 --> 01:17:03,624 Ok. 1151 01:17:11,334 --> 01:17:12,374 Here you go. 1152 01:17:16,250 --> 01:17:17,374 What do you fancy? 1153 01:17:17,500 --> 01:17:18,874 Kevin! Set the table! 1154 01:17:19,125 --> 01:17:20,833 Just a sec, Mom, I'm working! 1155 01:17:21,584 --> 01:17:24,083 Hungry? You like veal olives? 1156 01:17:24,459 --> 01:17:25,249 I don't know. 1157 01:17:25,500 --> 01:17:27,208 If you're hungry or you like that? 1158 01:17:27,375 --> 01:17:28,083 I don't know. 1159 01:17:28,250 --> 01:17:29,124 What d'you need? 1160 01:17:29,500 --> 01:17:30,874 Explosives. 1161 01:17:31,209 --> 01:17:32,999 Man, you're making my day! 1162 01:17:33,209 --> 01:17:36,249 You lucky fucker, I'm doing an offer on Semtex. 1163 01:17:37,375 --> 01:17:39,249 The terrorist explosive. 1164 01:17:39,459 --> 01:17:41,958 10 of these will down the Eiffel Tower. 1165 01:17:43,250 --> 01:17:44,249 I want 10! 1166 01:17:44,584 --> 01:17:46,333 10? Treating yourself? 1167 01:17:47,125 --> 01:17:47,958 No problem. 1168 01:17:48,500 --> 01:17:49,499 You won't regret it. 1169 01:17:49,875 --> 01:17:52,333 This stuff sells like hot cakes. 1170 01:17:52,709 --> 01:17:53,749 It's wild. 1171 01:17:53,959 --> 01:17:55,124 Need it gift-wrapped? 1172 01:17:55,375 --> 01:17:56,499 No, it's for me. 1173 01:17:58,000 --> 01:17:58,749 Ready-to-wear? 1174 01:17:59,875 --> 01:18:00,624 Respect, man. 1175 01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:02,124 Martyr. 1176 01:18:03,125 --> 01:18:04,458 Take a look at this... 1177 01:18:04,625 --> 01:18:07,208 The suicide bomber vest. Fully adjustable. 1178 01:18:10,459 --> 01:18:12,249 Fucking awesome on you! 1179 01:18:12,709 --> 01:18:15,083 I like you so I'll throw in for free 1180 01:18:15,875 --> 01:18:17,624 the cell to start the show. 1181 01:18:18,500 --> 01:18:19,249 Very kind. 1182 01:18:19,500 --> 01:18:21,374 That way you'll come back. 1183 01:18:22,500 --> 01:18:24,833 Stop feeling yourselves and come eat! 1184 01:18:25,334 --> 01:18:27,083 I'm not feeling myself! 1185 01:18:28,125 --> 01:18:29,499 Check this out. 1186 01:18:29,709 --> 01:18:31,874 Let me show you this before you go. 1187 01:18:33,834 --> 01:18:34,499 What is it? 1188 01:18:34,709 --> 01:18:35,749 This is Chouki. 1189 01:18:36,459 --> 01:18:37,333 I'll show you. 1190 01:18:39,834 --> 01:18:41,749 We've been looking for you. 1191 01:18:42,084 --> 01:18:43,958 Why did you leave the hospital? 1192 01:18:44,709 --> 01:18:45,624 I don't know. 1193 01:18:45,834 --> 01:18:46,708 We have your kidney. 1194 01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:48,374 We can operate now. 1195 01:18:51,334 --> 01:18:51,999 For real? 1196 01:18:55,375 --> 01:18:56,333 Thank you, madam. 1197 01:18:57,875 --> 01:18:59,499 You are good person. 1198 01:18:59,625 --> 01:19:01,374 A thousand thanks. 1199 01:19:01,584 --> 01:19:03,124 Health and prosperity. 1200 01:19:03,625 --> 01:19:05,249 She found my kidney! 1201 01:19:06,500 --> 01:19:08,708 I put his bomb belt on him. 1202 01:19:10,250 --> 01:19:13,499 Get it nice and tight or it won't work. 1203 01:19:14,125 --> 01:19:16,999 Just a minute, Mom! What a drag... 1204 01:19:17,209 --> 01:19:18,999 You explode squirrel? 1205 01:19:19,459 --> 01:19:21,333 Yeah, I have plenty more. 1206 01:19:24,750 --> 01:19:26,583 I'm sure he'll come back. 1207 01:19:31,250 --> 01:19:33,624 There's something you don't know... 1208 01:19:33,875 --> 01:19:35,499 And I can't tell you. 1209 01:19:36,209 --> 01:19:37,374 It's ok, I realized. 1210 01:19:40,625 --> 01:19:41,624 You're a couple. 1211 01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:45,999 You're gay, right? 1212 01:19:48,375 --> 01:19:49,833 It's obvious. 1213 01:19:50,250 --> 01:19:52,749 You weren't comfortable last night. 1214 01:19:54,875 --> 01:19:55,999 You have to find him 1215 01:19:56,459 --> 01:19:58,249 and tell him he's screwing up. 1216 01:19:58,834 --> 01:20:01,083 What matters is living here with you. 1217 01:20:01,500 --> 01:20:03,083 That's why you came to France. 1218 01:20:03,375 --> 01:20:04,333 To be free. 1219 01:20:05,584 --> 01:20:07,499 You're so right. 1220 01:20:09,084 --> 01:20:10,458 But the truth is... 1221 01:20:10,875 --> 01:20:11,583 You see... 1222 01:20:12,459 --> 01:20:14,083 Let's go, Mr. Ayayaz. 1223 01:20:19,750 --> 01:20:20,749 When you're ready, 1224 01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:22,583 you press "call". 1225 01:20:22,750 --> 01:20:24,874 And he's off to hamster heaven. 1226 01:20:26,084 --> 01:20:26,999 Ready? 1227 01:20:27,209 --> 01:20:28,124 One... 1228 01:20:28,250 --> 01:20:29,249 Two... 1229 01:20:30,334 --> 01:20:33,124 Hold on, using the wrong phone would be a bummer. 1230 01:20:33,834 --> 01:20:36,374 Is this the one I gave you earlier? 1231 01:20:37,125 --> 01:20:39,374 I think it's the other. No, this one... 1232 01:20:39,875 --> 01:20:40,958 One... 1233 01:20:41,125 --> 01:20:42,499 Two. No, this one. 1234 01:20:42,625 --> 01:20:44,749 This is the one. It's this one. 1235 01:20:44,959 --> 01:20:46,999 One... two... three... 1236 01:20:50,000 --> 01:20:51,833 Hamster hash! 1237 01:20:52,000 --> 01:20:53,124 What a blast! 1238 01:20:54,250 --> 01:20:57,833 I'll drive you back. This 'hood can be dangerous. 1239 01:20:58,000 --> 01:20:59,124 Come on then. 1240 01:21:22,125 --> 01:21:23,708 Relax. It's going to be ok. 1241 01:21:28,875 --> 01:21:31,124 Excuse me, sir... 1242 01:21:34,000 --> 01:21:35,624 - Is that my kidney? - Yes, it is. 1243 01:21:36,125 --> 01:21:38,249 Don't worry, it'll all go well. 1244 01:21:38,459 --> 01:21:39,999 No time for operation today. 1245 01:21:40,375 --> 01:21:43,624 I have important thing to do. I come back later. 1246 01:21:43,834 --> 01:21:45,499 Thank you. Goodbye. 1247 01:21:45,625 --> 01:21:47,874 What are you doing? He's out of his mind! 1248 01:21:48,084 --> 01:21:50,249 Go after him! He can't leave 1249 01:21:50,584 --> 01:21:51,999 with his kidney! 1250 01:22:30,625 --> 01:22:31,749 Come on! 1251 01:22:32,334 --> 01:22:33,624 What's going on? 1252 01:22:33,834 --> 01:22:36,708 I go find Muzafar. Operation later. 1253 01:22:36,875 --> 01:22:38,208 Are you crazy? 1254 01:22:38,375 --> 01:22:40,624 Don't worry, I have kidney! 1255 01:22:41,084 --> 01:22:42,499 - No! - Yes! 1256 01:22:43,084 --> 01:22:45,749 - You can't do this! - I hold onto it now. 1257 01:22:45,959 --> 01:22:46,624 Come on! 1258 01:22:49,584 --> 01:22:52,458 - Move, I'm trying to work! - Give me a break! 1259 01:22:52,834 --> 01:22:55,333 - It's green for me! - Shut your mouth! 1260 01:22:56,375 --> 01:22:57,499 Drive! Hurry! 1261 01:22:59,625 --> 01:23:01,249 - Where to? - Eiffel Tower. 1262 01:23:01,375 --> 01:23:02,958 That won't be possible. 1263 01:23:03,375 --> 01:23:06,083 Traffic's heavy there and you're my last fare. 1264 01:23:06,625 --> 01:23:09,124 I can leave you at Porte de Bagnolet... 1265 01:23:11,334 --> 01:23:13,833 Why things so complicated in France? 1266 01:23:14,000 --> 01:23:16,374 He's crazy. This isn't Fr... 1267 01:23:16,584 --> 01:23:18,499 I know, this isn't France. 1268 01:23:18,709 --> 01:23:22,458 Exactly, it's Paris. The world's most beautiful city. 1269 01:23:22,834 --> 01:23:24,874 A good job France has Paris 1270 01:23:25,084 --> 01:23:27,374 to give all the county bumpkins dreams. 1271 01:23:27,834 --> 01:23:30,208 Porte de Bagnolet is miles away. 1272 01:23:30,375 --> 01:23:31,999 It's where I'm heading. 1273 01:23:32,625 --> 01:23:34,749 You're a cab, you go where we say! 1274 01:23:36,375 --> 01:23:37,583 Dumb bitch! 1275 01:23:40,750 --> 01:23:42,124 Ok, we have no choice. 1276 01:23:44,209 --> 01:23:45,124 What this? 1277 01:24:00,875 --> 01:24:01,874 Daddy! 1278 01:24:03,625 --> 01:24:05,708 Hi daddy! 1279 01:24:44,625 --> 01:24:45,833 What's wrong? 1280 01:24:46,959 --> 01:24:48,874 Don't worry, we'll find him. 1281 01:24:50,375 --> 01:24:51,458 Come! 1282 01:25:13,125 --> 01:25:14,499 Thank God! 1283 01:25:22,875 --> 01:25:23,999 I couldn't, Feruz... 1284 01:25:24,209 --> 01:25:25,583 I couldn't. 1285 01:25:25,750 --> 01:25:26,999 It doesn't matter. 1286 01:25:28,584 --> 01:25:29,999 I can't kill children. 1287 01:25:30,584 --> 01:25:32,749 I won't kill grown-ups either. 1288 01:25:33,750 --> 01:25:37,124 I won't be happy in paradise if I kill people. 1289 01:25:38,500 --> 01:25:41,583 So I throw bomb in big river over there. 1290 01:25:44,834 --> 01:25:46,083 Shame on us, Feruz. 1291 01:25:47,750 --> 01:25:50,958 Jafaraz will cut off our heads with rusty knife 1292 01:25:51,125 --> 01:25:52,499 on village square! 1293 01:25:56,709 --> 01:25:57,624 What if... 1294 01:25:58,209 --> 01:25:59,624 we didn't go back? 1295 01:26:00,750 --> 01:26:02,374 What if we stayed here? 1296 01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:06,833 But Dada... 1297 01:26:07,000 --> 01:26:08,124 What about Dada? 1298 01:26:15,625 --> 01:26:19,874 Jafaraz said he unleash hell on him. 1299 01:26:29,875 --> 01:26:31,208 He's old. 1300 01:26:34,709 --> 01:26:36,333 Yes, he's old. 1301 01:26:37,000 --> 01:26:38,624 He's very old. 1302 01:26:45,250 --> 01:26:46,124 Hey, you lovebirds... 1303 01:26:47,209 --> 01:26:48,208 Get a hotel room. 1304 01:26:50,625 --> 01:26:51,708 The hospital now? 1305 01:26:52,500 --> 01:26:54,124 Look... 1306 01:26:54,334 --> 01:26:55,833 I found my kidney! 1307 01:26:58,209 --> 01:26:59,958 - Come on. - Let's go. 1308 01:27:02,625 --> 01:27:03,374 Wait... 1309 01:27:04,375 --> 01:27:06,499 Can we look at tower first? 1310 01:27:06,625 --> 01:27:09,124 We'll come back. It's not going away. 1311 01:27:09,334 --> 01:27:10,958 You never know. 1312 01:27:12,834 --> 01:27:14,083 What's so funny? 1313 01:27:14,250 --> 01:27:16,749 Nothing. Why it called Eiffel Tower? 1314 01:27:16,959 --> 01:27:19,874 The architect's name was Gustave Eiffel. 1315 01:27:20,084 --> 01:27:22,374 He made some crazy stuff! 1316 01:27:24,625 --> 01:27:26,374 Look at those two! 1317 01:27:26,625 --> 01:27:27,749 He look like... 1318 01:27:30,125 --> 01:27:31,583 Little Leader Wassupbro! 1319 01:27:34,875 --> 01:27:36,458 - What they do? - You! 1320 01:27:37,334 --> 01:27:38,874 Look at bag! 1321 01:27:39,125 --> 01:27:41,249 - They bring bomb! - What's going on? 1322 01:27:41,709 --> 01:27:42,583 Traitors! 1323 01:27:42,750 --> 01:27:45,374 - Terrorists! - Call police. They have bomb! 1324 01:27:45,625 --> 01:27:46,583 They have bomb! 1325 01:28:04,875 --> 01:28:05,624 Go on, Muzafar! 1326 01:28:06,750 --> 01:28:07,999 Like in rugby! 1327 01:28:18,750 --> 01:28:21,083 Long live Taboulistan! 1328 01:28:29,084 --> 01:28:30,458 - Damn... - What do now? 1329 01:28:31,709 --> 01:28:34,208 I one kidney short. Best I take risk. 1330 01:28:34,500 --> 01:28:35,999 No, my fault we here! 1331 01:28:36,209 --> 01:28:37,874 Stop arguing. Today, 1332 01:28:38,625 --> 01:28:39,749 I take care of us. 1333 01:28:40,584 --> 01:28:41,249 Run, Feruz! 1334 01:28:44,375 --> 01:28:45,249 Out of way! 1335 01:28:46,459 --> 01:28:47,708 Go away! 1336 01:28:51,334 --> 01:28:52,083 Run! 1337 01:28:56,375 --> 01:28:57,249 What he do? 1338 01:29:01,750 --> 01:29:02,999 Shit... 1339 01:29:17,000 --> 01:29:18,124 There you go. 1340 01:29:18,250 --> 01:29:21,749 That's how my adventure in France came to an end. 1341 01:29:23,334 --> 01:29:24,708 Poor little Feruz. 1342 01:29:25,334 --> 01:29:27,749 A terrorist attack narrowly avoided 1343 01:29:27,959 --> 01:29:29,583 at the Eiffel Tower. 1344 01:29:29,750 --> 01:29:32,999 Luckily, everyone spoke about my heroic deed. 1345 01:29:33,125 --> 01:29:34,624 Even Guillaume Auda. 1346 01:29:36,125 --> 01:29:39,708 Marianne was very professional in her first live report 1347 01:29:39,875 --> 01:29:41,833 despite her emotion. 1348 01:29:42,000 --> 01:29:45,333 Thanks to the sacrifice of two undocumented immigrants, 1349 01:29:45,834 --> 01:29:48,874 France still has her greatest symbol. 1350 01:29:49,500 --> 01:29:53,208 Feruz Ayayaz, a goatherd aged 35 from Taboulistan, 1351 01:29:53,375 --> 01:29:56,583 a cheerful man fond of dancing and goats... 1352 01:29:56,750 --> 01:29:59,208 The news even reached them at home. 1353 01:29:59,500 --> 01:30:01,499 But just where is Taboulistan? 1354 01:30:01,709 --> 01:30:04,958 It's a small land in Central Asia between Afghanistan, 1355 01:30:05,125 --> 01:30:07,249 Tajikistan and Kirghizstan. 1356 01:30:10,125 --> 01:30:12,249 Our genius was finally recognized 1357 01:30:12,459 --> 01:30:14,249 by the whole world. 1358 01:30:14,375 --> 01:30:15,874 ...proud of inventing 1359 01:30:16,250 --> 01:30:18,458 tabbouleh over 1,000 years ago. 1360 01:30:18,625 --> 01:30:20,874 And so Taboulistan became 1361 01:30:21,084 --> 01:30:24,499 the 194th member of the UN. 1362 01:30:24,875 --> 01:30:26,749 The Great Leader was delighted. 1363 01:30:26,875 --> 01:30:30,124 And for the last time because the next day, 1364 01:30:30,334 --> 01:30:33,124 with the Revolution, they cut off his head! 1365 01:30:34,375 --> 01:30:36,874 Kachetebrul found fortune at last 1366 01:30:37,000 --> 01:30:40,374 by becoming the country's top tourist destination! 1367 01:30:40,500 --> 01:30:41,874 Dada was very happy. 1368 01:30:42,084 --> 01:30:44,124 400 euros. My son! 1369 01:30:45,875 --> 01:30:48,749 Jafaraz tried to flee the country but... 1370 01:30:53,209 --> 01:30:56,999 he had a slight mishap on his way to Switzerland. 1371 01:31:03,125 --> 01:31:05,083 But France was the country 1372 01:31:05,250 --> 01:31:08,249 that paid me the greatest tribute. 1373 01:31:08,459 --> 01:31:10,999 I even had the honor of being received 1374 01:31:11,125 --> 01:31:13,999 at the home of the great leader of all the French. 1375 01:31:14,125 --> 01:31:17,333 Who is in fact a woman. The French really are crazy! 1376 01:31:21,250 --> 01:31:23,083 That hurts. 1377 01:31:24,125 --> 01:31:25,749 Muzafar gave a speech 1378 01:31:26,000 --> 01:31:28,458 and said lots of beautiful things. 1379 01:31:29,834 --> 01:31:31,374 Why did you do it? 1380 01:31:32,125 --> 01:31:34,583 Goddam desert dune dickwad! 1381 01:31:37,000 --> 01:31:38,458 You will stay 1382 01:31:38,875 --> 01:31:40,499 forever in my heart. 1383 01:31:41,375 --> 01:31:42,874 If ever I have children, 1384 01:31:43,375 --> 01:31:45,583 I'll call them all Feruz. 1385 01:31:45,750 --> 01:31:47,249 Even the girls! 1386 01:31:48,250 --> 01:31:50,999 In Taboulistan, when someone die, 1387 01:31:51,459 --> 01:31:52,333 people have party. 1388 01:31:52,500 --> 01:31:53,499 So, for Feruz, 1389 01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:55,624 traditional dance, 1390 01:31:55,834 --> 01:31:56,999 the Tawa! 1391 01:32:06,375 --> 01:32:08,083 As for me, my friends, 1392 01:32:08,334 --> 01:32:10,499 don't worry, everything's fine. 1393 01:32:10,709 --> 01:32:12,708 Since I saved hundreds of lives 1394 01:32:12,875 --> 01:32:14,749 I was sent straight 1395 01:32:15,000 --> 01:32:16,208 to paradise! 1396 01:32:16,375 --> 01:32:20,249 Where I haven't seen a single virgin or a mature woman. 1397 01:32:20,500 --> 01:32:22,208 Nor any terrorists either. 1398 01:32:22,375 --> 01:32:24,249 However, the all-you-can-eat buffet 1399 01:32:24,500 --> 01:32:25,749 is awesome! 1400 01:32:26,000 --> 01:32:28,374 Lemonade, Coke, Oaziz... 1401 01:32:29,334 --> 01:32:31,249 It's interesting. 1402 01:32:34,959 --> 01:32:35,874 What? 1403 01:32:36,250 --> 01:32:38,374 We said not hit woman! 81636