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1
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,015
Hey, Calvin.Hey, guys.
2
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,278
Thanks again for taking
this stuff to Goodwill for us.
3
00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,715
Oh, no problem.
Oh, and, uh,
4
00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:21,282
congratulations,
Dave,
5
00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:22,674
on finally moving
out of a high chair
6
00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:24,807
into a booster seat.
7
00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:27,418
You know, not funny now,
and not funny at restaurants
8
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:29,507
when you have the waiter
bring one over for me.
9
00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:34,121
Oh, wow, looks like
you guys are getting rid
10
00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:35,644
of Grover's
old baby stuff.
11
00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:37,428
Yeah. We used to think
about having another kid.
12
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:39,213
But by the time Grover
was out of diapers,
13
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:42,303
life got so busy, it just
kind of never happened.
14
00:00:42,346 --> 00:00:44,653
Yeah, plus we agreed we're
happy with just having one.
15
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,655
After all, I'm an only child
and I think we all know
16
00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:48,700
that I turned out
pretty spectacular.
17
00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:51,138
We also know
that one of you
18
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,661
is definitely enough.
19
00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:55,707
Aw, remember
20
00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:57,535
this little guy?Oh, yeah.
21
00:00:57,579 --> 00:00:59,189
Captain Cuddleduck.
22
00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:00,451
He was Grover's favorite.Yeah,
23
00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:01,757
we'd peek into
his room at night,
24
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,454
and there they'd be,
curled up together.
25
00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:06,283
Snug as two
bugs in a rug.
26
00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:08,111
Aw, that's adorable.
27
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,070
Peace out, Captain.
28
00:01:10,113 --> 00:01:12,811
Well, uh, hold on.
29
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:16,511
Maybe we should keep him.
30
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:18,861
Why? Grover hasn't slept
with him for years.
31
00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:21,037
I know.
But it's just one thing
32
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,083
to remind us
of when he was little.
33
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,388
Okay, sure.
34
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:26,042
Besides,
Cuddleduck is a veteran.
35
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,652
Welcome home, soldier.
36
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:30,351
What's this?
37
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:31,700
Uh, it's a bottle warmer.
38
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:33,136
You use it to warm up
a baby's milk.
39
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:36,183
Oh yeah, we used to have
one of those, too.
40
00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:38,402
It was called an armpit.
41
00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:42,276
I put one under there one time
after playing basketball.
42
00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:45,148
It got so hot
it burned Marty's lip.
43
00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:48,717
You know what?
44
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,240
Maybe we should keep this, too.
45
00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:51,502
It sounds like
you guys aren't ready
46
00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:53,156
to get rid of some
of this stuff.
47
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,897
Of course we are.
48
00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:00,903
Gemma, what are you doing?
49
00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:05,516
I don't know.
My brain's saying "Let go,"
50
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,084
but my hand's aren't listening.
51
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,913
Okay, Gemma,
let go of the high chair.
52
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:13,524
Oh, my...
53
00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:14,569
I can't.
54
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:15,874
Why not?
55
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:18,007
Because I think
I want another baby.
56
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,878
What?
57
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:22,229
Well, what do you know, Captain?
58
00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:25,362
Looks like you're headed back
to the front lines.
59
00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:29,105
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
60
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,150
♪ Welcome to the hood.
61
00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,853
Gem...
62
00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:40,203
Gemma, we need
to talk about this.
63
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,510
Having another baby
is a huge decision.
64
00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:46,166
I know. And I know we agreed
on only having one child.
65
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,168
But we also agreed
on one taco night a week,
66
00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:50,996
and now we do it
on Tuesdays and Fridays.
67
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,650
That is not true.
68
00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:56,219
And Fajita Fridays
is mucho diferente.
69
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:57,612
Besides,
70
00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,483
are you seriously
trying to compare
71
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,224
having another kid to that?
72
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:04,793
I'm sorry. I didn't know
I was gonna feel this way.
73
00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,447
But there was just something
74
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:09,711
about giving away Grover's
baby stuff that made me realize
75
00:03:09,754 --> 00:03:11,843
I don't think
I want to be done yet.
76
00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:14,281
But, Gemma, our lives
are perfect right now.
77
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,718
We have great jobs,
an amazing son.
78
00:03:16,761 --> 00:03:19,460
We're the Three Musketeers
every year for Halloween.
79
00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:22,376
Another baby ruins
the whole theme.
80
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:27,555
I'm just saying we have so many
81
00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:30,166
sweet memories
of Grover growing up.
82
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,690
His first smile,
his first steps,
83
00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:34,431
his first words.
84
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:36,390
His first smile,
he spit up on us.
85
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,348
His first steps,
he fell down the stairs.
86
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,394
And his first words
were a four-letter one
87
00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:43,223
when he was falling
down those stairs.Uh, no.
88
00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:45,616
That's what you think he said.
89
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,271
I still think
he said Cuddleduck.
90
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,273
All right, my point is
91
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:53,058
is I just think you're
forgetting how hard it was.
92
00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:55,713
Oh, come on.
It wasn't that bad.
93
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:58,542
Do you not remember getting up
every two hours to feed him,
94
00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:01,719
the dirty diapers, the endless
screaming? I mean, Gemma...
95
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:04,548
...forgive my language,
96
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:08,030
but it was
a Cuddleducking nightmare.
97
00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:11,381
Look, all I'm asking
is for you to think about it.
98
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:13,122
But, look,
for the record,
99
00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:15,733
I just don't think another baby
is what we need right now.
100
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,605
What, another baby?!
101
00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:19,084
Are you guys crazy?!
102
00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:21,261
What about
the Three Musketeers?!
103
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,700
Don't worry, sweetie.
104
00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:27,745
It's just something Dad and I
are talking about.
105
00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:29,443
Well, I vote no.
106
00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:32,533
Although...
107
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:35,449
a puppy and an Xbox
might help me get there.
108
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,716
Oh, hey, babe.
How did it go at Goodwill?
109
00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:44,501
Great.
In fact, while I was there,
110
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:47,330
I picked you up
an early birthday present.
111
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,027
Really, Calvin?
112
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:51,943
You bought my birthday present
from a thrift store?
113
00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:54,555
No, Tina.
114
00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:57,209
I would never buy
my baby something used.
115
00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:59,299
It was on the free table.
116
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:02,606
Well, what is it?
117
00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:07,002
It is an antique
leather-bound Bible
118
00:05:07,045 --> 00:05:09,613
Oh.with gold lettering
and brass corners.
119
00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:12,224
Just like the one
your grandmama used to have.
120
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:15,358
Wow.
Calvin, it's beautiful.
121
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:16,620
Thank you.
122
00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,492
Yeah, don't thank
me, thank God.
123
00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:21,756
For blessing you with
such an amazing husband.
124
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,325
You know, I still say
it was my cousin Anita
125
00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:27,718
who stole that Bible
during my grandma's funeral.
126
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:30,286
But you can't accuse
a nun with no evidence.
127
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,636
Yeah.
128
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,291
Anita was hood
before she was holy.
129
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:37,946
Whoa!
130
00:05:37,989 --> 00:05:39,251
What?
131
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:41,428
Baby, there's money
in here.
132
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,081
Let me see that.
133
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,605
Wow.
134
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:47,390
This is, like, $700, $800.
135
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,827
Forget the Good Book.
This is a great book.
136
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,220
[chuckling]
137
00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:53,657
Well, Calvin,
we can't keep this money.
138
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:55,920
We need to return it
to its rightful owner.
139
00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:59,141
Tina, it's an antique Bible
from the Goodwill.
140
00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:02,405
There's no way we can find out
who it actually belongs to,
141
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,494
especially if we don't look.
142
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,803
Well, fine.
If we can't return it,
143
00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:11,545
then God would want us to do
something charitable with it.
144
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:12,894
You know,
this kind of money
145
00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:14,635
can really make a difference
in someone's life.
146
00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:16,114
You're right.
147
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:17,377
Mine.
148
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:22,077
I'm gonna buy me a giant
new flat-screen with this.
149
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,079
I'm warning you, Calvin.
150
00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:25,820
This is a test from God.
151
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:27,691
And He is watching.
152
00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,171
Exactly.
153
00:06:29,214 --> 00:06:31,695
Which is why it's disrespectful
to make Him watch
154
00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:33,828
this tiny-ass TV.
155
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,094
Oh. Hey, Calvin.
What you doing?
156
00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:41,705
I'm looking at
getting a new TV.
157
00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:46,231
Trying to decide
should I go LED or QLED.
158
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,103
What's the Q stand for?
159
00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:49,191
No idea.
160
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:51,541
I just know I deserve it.
161
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,587
Well,
162
00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:56,154
you're lucky that's the biggest
decision you have to make today.
163
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:59,027
Gemma's still talking
about having another kid
164
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,594
and wants me to think about it.
165
00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,465
[laughs]
166
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:03,945
Dave,
167
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:06,513
when your wife tells you
to think about it,
168
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:08,297
there's nothing left
to think about.
169
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:10,342
It's already been thunk.
170
00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:15,435
I don't know.
171
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:18,612
You know, we-we have
such a good thing going.
172
00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:20,875
I just don't want anything
to mess that all up.
173
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,920
Well, look
on the bright side:
174
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,357
now you can stop being
those three weird pirates
175
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:26,620
for Halloween.
176
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:31,581
You know, not to mention it
would be even harder this time.
177
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:34,018
I mean, we already have a kid,
178
00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:35,498
and we're ten years older.
179
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:36,804
It's like she doesn't realize
180
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,719
how much this is gonna
affect our lives.
181
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:39,850
Yeah.
182
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:42,549
Well, you got to find
a way to show her.
183
00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:44,638
Yeah, well, how do I do that?
184
00:07:44,681 --> 00:07:46,378
Not my problem.
185
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:50,295
The only baby I care about
right now is 65 inches long
186
00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:53,168
and made in Korea.
187
00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,085
Oh, hey, babe.
188
00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:58,303
Just in time.
189
00:07:58,347 --> 00:07:59,304
For what?
190
00:07:59,348 --> 00:08:01,524
To watch me buy a new TV
191
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:04,396
with our gift card from God.
192
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:07,095
Oh! Look at that.
193
00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:10,359
He gave unto us free shipping.
194
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:16,234
Look, Calvin, I know you
don't believe this is a test,
195
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:18,933
but look where the
money was stashed.
196
00:08:18,976 --> 00:08:20,674
First Timothy.
197
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:24,547
"For the love of money is
the root of all kinds of evils."
198
00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:29,073
Well, let's not forget
what it says in Leviticus.
199
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:32,773
"Finders keepers,
losers weepers."
200
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:39,127
Okay. Fine, Calvin,
you keep making jokes.
201
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:40,650
But don't come running to me
202
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:42,783
when the Lord
starts punishing you.
203
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:46,656
I'll be fine, Tina.
204
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:50,834
Besides, if God didn't want me
to have a new flat-screen,
205
00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:54,664
he wouldn't have blessed me
with a laptop to order it on.
206
00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:03,455
Well, it looks to me like
God just logged you off.
207
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,504
Ooh. Hey, honey.
208
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,201
Hey, sweetie.
What's in the box?
209
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:12,160
Okay. Well,
210
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:15,206
if we are really considering
having another baby,
211
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,512
I figured
212
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,775
we should make sure
that we're ready. So...
213
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:21,343
I got us this.
214
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,085
You bought a doll?
215
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:26,217
Oh, no, no, no.
Not just a doll.
216
00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:28,480
She's a Baby Be Sure.
217
00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,483
Yeah, it's a robotic
parenting simulator
218
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,050
that you have to feed
and take care of.
219
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:35,575
Oh, you mean those things
they give high school kids
220
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,185
to make 'em not
want to have sex?
221
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:38,534
Because if
that's your goal,
222
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,753
it's working.
223
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,277
No, no, no. Look,
I just thought...
224
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:47,630
I-I just thought that,
before we do this,
225
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:50,502
we should spend a few days
to see what it's like
226
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:51,895
to have a baby
in the house again.
227
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:54,550
Oh, all right.
I see what you're doing here.
228
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,334
You're trying to remind me
how hard it is
229
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:58,206
so I'll change my mind.
230
00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:00,077
Challenge accepted.
231
00:10:00,121 --> 00:10:02,602
Okay. All right.
Great.
232
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:04,691
'Cause, in that case,
233
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,431
congratulations, Ms. Johnson.
234
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:07,650
it's a girl.
235
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:10,435
All right, turn her on.
236
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:11,480
Let's see what
she's like.
237
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:14,091
[beeping]Whoa.
238
00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:15,440
[cooing]
239
00:10:15,484 --> 00:10:16,877
Aw. [chuckles]Aw.
240
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,530
She's so cute.
241
00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:20,620
[loud flatulence]
242
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:24,580
Did this thing just poop?
243
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,147
Yeah. I had
to pay extra for that.
244
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:34,851
Dave?
245
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,418
[inhales]
246
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:37,941
Hey, Marty.
247
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:41,336
Hey, man, I don't mean to
get all up in your business,
248
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:42,642
but why the hell do you have
249
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:44,252
a Betsy Wetsy
strapped to your chest?
250
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:46,689
She's not a Betsy Wetsy.
251
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,386
She's a robot doll
you take care of
252
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:49,997
to see if you want kids.
253
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,520
Oh, yeah.
254
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:52,695
No, they gave us
those in high school
255
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:53,870
to discourage
teen sex,
256
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:55,611
but I think my Pokémon backpack
257
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,265
took care of that for me.
258
00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:59,615
I got it to show Gemma
259
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,573
how hard it would be
to have another kid,
260
00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:04,054
but she's doing amazing.
261
00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:05,752
It's a disaster.
262
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:07,275
Okay, yeah, man.
263
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:08,450
It must really suck
to be married
264
00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:09,756
to such an incredible
wife and mother.
265
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:14,499
Gemma's not the problem.
It's... it's this baby.
266
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:16,023
She's too easy to take care of.
267
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:20,114
She's not a Baby Be Sure,
she's a Baby Let's Get It On.
268
00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:22,899
Well, if you want
to make it harder,
269
00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:25,249
you could always just
kick it up a notch.
270
00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:26,642
What do you mean?
271
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,035
Well, these things run
on simple software.
272
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:30,602
They can be programmed
to act any way you want.
273
00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:31,952
So, hypothetically,
274
00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:33,910
you could program this baby
to drive Gemma crazy?
275
00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:37,131
Dave, I could program it
to drive Gemma to Costco.
276
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:41,091
Okay.
277
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,092
I'm in.
278
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:44,791
But just know,
I'm only doing this
279
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,444
because I'm desperate.
280
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:49,491
Trust me, until you've worn
a Pikachu backpack to prom,
281
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,275
you don't know
what desperate is.
282
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,584
Hey, Pop. Oh.
283
00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:57,455
How come you haven't
put your new TV up yet?
284
00:11:57,499 --> 00:11:59,153
Thought it came in yesterday.
285
00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:00,589
It did.
286
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:02,330
But you know
what else happened yesterday?
287
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,549
I banged my knee
on the coffee table,
288
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:06,769
got a summons for jury duty,
289
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:08,466
then banged my knee again
290
00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:10,817
while throwing out
the summons for jury duty.
291
00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:15,256
What's your point?
292
00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:17,345
Other than you are
a terrible citizen
293
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,564
who needs to watch
where he's going.
294
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:22,350
I'm just saying,
I think your mom might be right.
295
00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,526
God is angry with me
296
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:27,224
for buying the TV with
that money I found in a Bible.
297
00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:28,530
Oh.
Please, Pop,
298
00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:30,314
I'm pretty sure God's
got bigger fish to fry
299
00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:32,360
than worrying about you
and your flat-screen.
300
00:12:32,403 --> 00:12:35,842
Well, for other people,
you'd probably be right,
301
00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:39,454
but in His eyes,
I'm pretty high-profile.
302
00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:42,674
Yeah, Pop, you are
being ridiculous, man.
303
00:12:42,718 --> 00:12:44,285
Oh, yeah?
304
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:46,809
Then explain to me why I got
a parking ticket yesterday.
305
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,376
Did you put money in the meter?
306
00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:51,248
No, I never put money
in the meter.
307
00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:55,426
But up until now,
He didn't care.
308
00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,342
Look, I'm telling you, Pop,
309
00:12:58,386 --> 00:13:00,040
bad things like that
happen every day.
310
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,216
Mama is just in your head.
311
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:03,826
Maybe.
312
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,567
You know what?
313
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:08,875
She is always trying
to sneak in there and trick me
314
00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:11,268
into being
a better person.
315
00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:13,314
Well, that makes
a lot more sense
316
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:16,099
than you getting busted by the
almighty meter maid in the sky.
317
00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:18,493
You're right. You're right.
Come on, man.
318
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:19,581
Help me out with this.
319
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:20,712
We'll put it
up right now.
320
00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:22,018
All right.Grab that side.
321
00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:24,107
BOTH:
One, two, three.
322
00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:27,458
Whoa!Oh.
323
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,418
On second thought...
324
00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:32,681
you know, you're right.
[short chuckle]
325
00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:34,944
God is coming for your ass.
326
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:43,213
Good afternoon, sir.
Did someone order a devil baby?
327
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:44,519
Great.
328
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:45,868
What'd you do to her?
329
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,783
Well, I souped up
her crying,
330
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,132
maxed out her
thrashing ability,
331
00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:50,177
and made her
impossible to calm down.
332
00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:51,439
Basically, she's every baby
333
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:53,223
I ever sat next to
on an airplane.
334
00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:56,313
All right, well,
how do I activate her?
335
00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:58,750
Oh, it's simple. All you got to
do is pat her on the head,
336
00:13:58,794 --> 00:14:00,622
and just like that, Gemma's baby
337
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:02,276
becomes Rosemary's baby.
338
00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:05,322
Thank you, Marty.
I owe you big time.
339
00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:06,497
Oh, man, if you
want to thank me,
340
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:08,021
just, uh keep
your doors locked.
341
00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:10,588
I don't want that monster
coming after its creator.
342
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,548
Hey, sweetie.Hi.
343
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,028
Hey, Marty.
344
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:17,204
Did you meet the newest member
of the Johnson family?
345
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:18,553
I did.
She's adorable.
346
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:20,816
A real computer chip
off the old block.
347
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,470
You want to hold her?
348
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:23,427
No, thanks.
349
00:14:23,471 --> 00:14:24,994
Come on, she doesn't bite.
350
00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:27,431
[laughs]
That's what you think.
351
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:28,737
Oh.
352
00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:34,003
So, now that you two have
spent some more time together,
353
00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:35,918
are you starting to
feel better about this?
354
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,224
Well,
355
00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:40,270
as of a few minutes
ago, yes.
356
00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:41,576
Great.
357
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:42,620
Well, why don't I
take her for a while
358
00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:43,752
While you go relax?
359
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:45,493
Okay, you two have fun.
360
00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:48,670
And you be good for Mommy.
361
00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:50,541
[wailing]
362
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:54,937
Whoa. What happened?
363
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:56,069
No idea.
364
00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:57,940
But I'm sure
she'll calm down.
365
00:14:57,984 --> 00:14:59,072
Or not.
366
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:01,813
[wailing continues]
367
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,295
Pastor Williams,
you got a minute?
368
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,471
Yeah.
Calvin, come on in.
369
00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:10,083
Who am I praying
for this week?
370
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,476
Dodgers or Lakers?
371
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,305
Actually, I'm here
about something else.
372
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:19,570
But I wouldn't be mad if LeBron
got some help off the bench.
373
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:23,052
So, uh, what brings
you in today?
374
00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:26,055
Well, I'm here to make
a donation to the church.
375
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:29,102
A donation?
You?
376
00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:32,061
Yeah.
377
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:33,933
What's so surprising about that?
378
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:35,586
Nothing.
But just so you know,
379
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:39,155
we're no longer accepting used
couches or '80s movies on VHS.
380
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,245
You know what?
It's not like that.
381
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:43,943
This is cash.
382
00:15:45,292 --> 00:15:47,337
And don't pretend people
weren't going crazy
383
00:15:47,381 --> 00:15:49,513
over that House Party
box set.
384
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,387
Wow, Calvin, this is...
this is a lot of money.
385
00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:56,477
And don't take this personally,
but...
386
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,785
Seriously?
387
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:02,439
You're checking
to see if it's real?
388
00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:05,051
Just think of it as me
giving God a closer look.
389
00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:08,837
Don't worry,
He knows all about it.
390
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,100
Tina snitched on me.
391
00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:14,234
Well, Calvin, this is
incredibly generous of you.
392
00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:17,063
In fact, I would love to mention
this in my sermon on Sunday.
393
00:16:17,106 --> 00:16:19,195
Your gift might inspire others,
394
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:22,416
and, if nothing else,
you deserve to be celebrated.
395
00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:25,810
Well, you know,
I wouldn't say all that.
396
00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,290
But if you said it,
397
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,727
then who am I
to argue with a man of God?
398
00:16:29,771 --> 00:16:31,947
Oh, and, uh...
399
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,124
feel free to put my name
in the program, too.
400
00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:37,344
You know,
for the hearing impaired.
401
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,868
[thunder crashes]
402
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,741
Actually, let's just
make it anonymous.
403
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:46,048
Deaf people ain't trying
to hear all that.
404
00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,748
[doll wailing]
405
00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:55,579
I don't know what to do.
406
00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:56,972
This thing
407
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,757
has been crying for
four hours straight.
408
00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:02,021
It's driving me crazy!
409
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:03,283
[groans]
410
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:05,198
Okay. All right.
Well, look, I know it's hard.
411
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:06,634
But look on the
bright side--
412
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,201
if it was a real baby,
413
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,941
you'd probably
be covered in spit-up.
414
00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:11,552
Remember how awful that was?
415
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,428
[wailing]
416
00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:19,995
Wow.
417
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,171
And I thought the velocity
on the other end was impressive.
418
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:24,086
Dave, you were right.
419
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,262
I was crazy to think
we should do this again.
420
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:27,698
Can you just
shut this thing off?!
421
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,135
Yeah, of course.
422
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:34,270
What's wrong?
Why isn't it stopping?
423
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,142
I'm pressing the button.
It's not turning off.
424
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:39,145
Dave, it's getting worse!
425
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,756
Ok... I-I'm trying.
426
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:44,628
[wailing continues]
427
00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,108
Make it stop!
428
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:49,068
I can't!
Marty never showed me how!
429
00:17:57,337 --> 00:18:02,037
What do you mean,
Marty never showed you how?
430
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,300
I didn't say Marty.
431
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,999
It must have been the baby.
432
00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:10,567
Oh, my God, Gemma--
her first words.
433
00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:12,178
Oh!
434
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:14,963
What the hell did you do?
435
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:16,269
Okay, fine.
436
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,880
I had Marty make the baby
437
00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,273
a little more difficult,
438
00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:21,622
but just because
you were making it
439
00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:23,493
look so easy.
So in a way,
440
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:26,061
it's a huge compliment
to you as a mom.
441
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,454
Oh!
442
00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:30,239
[laughs]
443
00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:32,459
I can't believe you would
do something like this.
444
00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:34,243
Well, what do you expect?
445
00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:35,810
You know,
we had talked about this
446
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:37,594
and agreed that
we were done having kids.
447
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:39,248
And then all of a sudden
you change your mind
448
00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:40,858
and I'm just supposed
to be on board with it?
449
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:43,731
[scoffs] All I asked you to do
was to think about it.
450
00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:44,775
Oh, come on, Gemma.
451
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:45,776
We both know
452
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:48,257
it had already been thunk.
453
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,435
That is not true.
454
00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:54,350
I would never force
you to do something
455
00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:55,873
you don't want to.
456
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,745
But you didn't even
give it a fair shot.
457
00:18:57,788 --> 00:18:59,747
You're so focused
on the hard parts,
458
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,662
you're forgetting about
all the good ones.
459
00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:02,924
No, I'm not.
460
00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:04,360
Yes, you are.
461
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:06,580
Dave, you brought
home a robot baby
462
00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:09,539
that kicks and
screams and poops.
463
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,541
But you know what
it doesn't do?
464
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,848
Well, we now know
it doesn't fly.
465
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:19,506
It also doesn't laugh,
466
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:23,336
or hold your finger
with its tiny hand,
467
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:26,295
or fall asleep
on your chest.
468
00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:29,690
It doesn't smile when
you walk into the room,
469
00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:33,781
or look you in the
eye and say "Daddy."
470
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:36,262
But a real baby does
all those things,
471
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:38,568
and so much more.
472
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,701
I did love
all those things.
473
00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:42,398
Yeah.
474
00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:45,619
So wouldn't it be nice to
love them all over again?
475
00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:51,929
Yeah, maybe.
476
00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:55,106
So now you'll really
think about it?
477
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:58,371
Yes. I...
I will think about it.
478
00:19:58,414 --> 00:19:59,633
Thank you.
479
00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:02,766
Aw, man!
480
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:04,986
If you guys are gonna
try to have another baby,
481
00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:06,857
would you at least
close the door?
482
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,779
So you're really considering
having another kid, huh?
483
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:17,607
Yeah, I think so.
484
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,261
Good for you, man.
485
00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:21,698
Having a second kid was the best
thing to ever happen to me.
486
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:22,873
Oh, yeah?
487
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:24,440
Absolutely.
488
00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:26,573
One more person
to do my chores for me.
489
00:20:26,616 --> 00:20:28,444
Instead of a baby walker,
490
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:30,664
I had Marty pushing a vacuum.
491
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:34,102
You know, that's a good idea.
492
00:20:34,145 --> 00:20:35,495
If we still had that robot baby,
493
00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:37,671
we could've had Marty
make it into a Roomba.
494
00:20:38,846 --> 00:20:40,456
You got rid of the doll?
495
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,415
Actually, no.
You know, it's really weird.
496
00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,678
I came out here to look for it
this morning and it was gone.
497
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,375
Huh.
I wonder where it went.
498
00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:47,768
MARTY:
Daddy!
499
00:20:47,811 --> 00:20:50,292
[wailing]Get it off me! Get it off me!
500
00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:51,685
Get it off!
501
00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:52,860
Get it off me!
502
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:55,558
[yelling][wailing]
503
00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:59,606
See? I told you
having a second kid was great.
504
00:20:59,649 --> 00:21:03,000
If I didn't have Marty,
I never would've seen that.
505
00:21:03,044 --> 00:21:04,915
[yelling, sobbing][wailing]
35760
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