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1
00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:15,058
I hope Que's still here.
[grunts]
2
00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:17,104
My bladder's about to burst.
3
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,758
Well, it's your own fault.
4
00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:21,760
I've never seen a restaurant
cut a guy off
5
00:00:21,804 --> 00:00:23,762
from bottomless lemonade.
6
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:25,677
It's a medical thing.
7
00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:27,723
Dry tongue runs in my family.
8
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,815
Hey, Calvin, Dave.
What's up?
9
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,556
Uh, your toilet seat
in about three seconds.
10
00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:39,909
Eh, sorry about that, Que.
I'm still potty training him.
11
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:41,954
[chuckles]
When I did that with my dog,
12
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:44,131
I used to whack him
with a rolled-up newspaper.
13
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:46,263
[laughs]
I tried that. It didn't work.
14
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,048
[laughs]
15
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,962
Oh, sorry, man, we're closed.
16
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:51,660
I'm not here for a haircut.
17
00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:54,054
I'm here for the money.
Now hand it over.
18
00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:55,185
[scoffs]What?
19
00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:56,882
Why would he give you any money?
20
00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:59,755
Because right now
I'm asking nicely.
21
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:04,325
Oh.
I mean, he did ask politely.
22
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,677
Well, don't just stand there,
Que. Do something.
23
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:09,721
Good call.
24
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:12,115
See ya!Seriously?
25
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:15,205
If you didn't cut my hair for
free, I would change barbers!
26
00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:16,946
All right, you.
27
00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:18,208
Empty the cash box.
28
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,905
No problem.
After what he just did,
29
00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:23,648
I'd give you the tip jar, too.
30
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,824
Ooh, that feels much better.
31
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:28,958
And who put my phone number
above the urinal?
32
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:31,569
Uh, uh, Dave?
33
00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:34,224
Oh, hey.
Dave Johnson.
34
00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:35,965
You just stay right there.
35
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:39,664
[chuckles]
Don't worry, I washed my hands.
36
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,927
He doesn't care
about your hygiene, Dave.
37
00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,407
He's here to rob the place.
38
00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:48,064
Oh. Well, in that case, uh,
I take my handshake back.
39
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,153
Get over there
with your friend.
40
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:52,808
I think you mean
best friend.
41
00:01:52,851 --> 00:01:54,331
Dave,
42
00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:56,246
now is not the time.
43
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,074
Okay, all right, well,
44
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,729
let me just go over here
so I can...
45
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,600
powder your nose!
[screams]
46
00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:04,602
Quick, Calvin, call the police!
47
00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:06,517
I will. But first
let me grab his gun.
48
00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:08,258
What...
He has a gun?
49
00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:10,695
Dave, get over here
and hold him down!
50
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:14,264
Okay!
[yelping]
51
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:16,832
Thank God this happened
after I peed.
52
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:20,618
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
53
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:21,880
♪ Welcome to the hood.
54
00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:28,800
So then the cops came,
they took the dude away
55
00:02:28,844 --> 00:02:30,280
and asked us for our statements.
56
00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:32,282
Yeah, which was hard
for me to give,
57
00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:35,024
because my dry tongue came
back with a vengeance.
58
00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:37,505
[scoffs]
59
00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:40,377
I still can't believe
you guys got robbed at gunpoint.
60
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:42,814
I'm just so glad
you're both okay.
61
00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:45,948
Yeah, me, too.
Aw, baby.
62
00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,950
I don't want you
going back to the barbershop.
63
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,908
I'll cut your hair from now on.
64
00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:57,089
Thanks, babe, but I'd rather
take my chances with the gun.
65
00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:59,309
It's so cool
what you did, Dad.
66
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:02,704
You're like Batman,
except with a much lamer car.
67
00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:08,013
It was not that big a deal,
and, Grover,
68
00:03:08,057 --> 00:03:10,973
there is nothing lame
about a reliable hatchback
69
00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:13,976
that gets 30 miles
to the gallon.
70
00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,674
Y-You know what?
Grover's right.
71
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,154
You're a hero, Dave.
72
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,025
Just because
you got a boring car
73
00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,853
and an unintimidating physique
74
00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:25,074
and a pretty squeaky
voice, uh...
75
00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:27,250
w-where was I going with this?
76
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,252
Uh, well,
77
00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,254
I think you were
complimenting me.
78
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:33,213
Oh. Yes. Right.
79
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:35,824
Look, the point is
is I owe you one.
80
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,434
[laughs softly]
81
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,436
Well, in that case,
why don't you finally let me
82
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,221
teach you to play Frisbee golf?
83
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:46,095
Like I told Tina, I'd rather
take my chances with the gun.
84
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,317
Oh, hey, Gemma.
85
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,753
Hi, Marty.
86
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:52,884
You know,
it's pretty crazy what happened
87
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,103
to Dave and my dad
last night, huh?
88
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:56,323
Crazy?
More like horrifying,
89
00:03:56,366 --> 00:04:00,152
or terrifying or
"I didn't sleep a wink"-ifying.
90
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:02,416
Oh, so school principals
can just make up words now?
91
00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,246
I'm just so freaked out.
92
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:08,073
I know they're okay,
but I keep imagining
93
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:10,075
all the things
that could've gone wrong.
94
00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:11,860
You know, I do the same thing
whenever I'm thinking
95
00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:13,949
of asking a girl out,
but it always winds up okay.
96
00:04:13,992 --> 00:04:15,037
Really?
97
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,343
Yeah, 'cause I never do it.
98
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:19,128
[laughs]
99
00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,477
Ugh, I just wish
there was something
100
00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:22,871
that could help me
take my mind off of it.
101
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:24,002
Well, if you want,
you can come help me
102
00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:25,090
work in my vegetable garden.
103
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,092
I always find it's relaxing.You do?
104
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:30,748
Yeah, it's peaceful, quiet,
it helps me clear my head.
105
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,184
All right, I'll give it a shot.
106
00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:33,882
Great.
107
00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:35,318
It'll be fun-tasterrific.
108
00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:36,841
Nice try, Marty,
109
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:39,017
but leave the fake-titious words
to the professionals.
110
00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:46,024
Hey, hey, y'all.
Here's the man of the hour.
111
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:47,374
And I also brought Dave.
112
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,419
[cheering]
113
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:50,855
Whoa, I wasn't
expecting all this.
114
00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:52,335
Looks like word
spread pretty fast.
115
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,381
Yeah, almost as fast
as Que ran his ass out of here
116
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:55,947
when he saw that gun.
117
00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:57,122
[laughter]
118
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:59,342
Hey, I ran to call the cops,
119
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,952
'cause I just get
better phone reception
120
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:02,519
hiding underneath my bed.
121
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:04,956
So, come on, Dave.
122
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,436
Give us the details.
123
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,177
Oh, yeah, and you ain't got
to start from the beginning.
124
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,440
Que filled us in on
the first ten seconds.
125
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:12,094
[laughter]
126
00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:14,488
I mean, come on, guys, it-it
really was not that big a deal.
127
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:17,099
I, just, was in the right place
at the right time.
128
00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:19,144
Dave, stop being so modest.
129
00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:21,233
This might actually
be the only time
130
00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:24,454
somebody really wants
to hear what you got to say.
131
00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:26,978
Yeah, man, tell us
how you took this fool down.
132
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:28,458
Okay, look, I...
[sighs]
133
00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:30,330
I guess it all started
when I looked at the menu
134
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,201
and I saw the words
"bottomless lemonade."
135
00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:35,422
Okay, Dave, you have been cool
for, like, 12 hours.
136
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:37,119
Don't blow it now.
137
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:40,470
Okay, look,
there's not that much to say.
138
00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,298
You know, I came out
of the bathroom, I saw the guy,
139
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,344
and I could sense
that something was wrong.
140
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:45,823
Ooh, like Spider-Man.
141
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:48,217
I told y'all
Spidey-senses was real.
142
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:54,571
Come on, Randy,
I'm not Spider-Man.
143
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,225
Although...
144
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,488
a lot of people
have been comparing me
145
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:01,361
to Batman.
146
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,015
They've all been
under the age of ten,
147
00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:06,017
but ain't lying.
148
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:08,324
Keep going, man.
149
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,370
All right, well, I mean,
I guess I could tell you
150
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:12,372
what I did to the guy or...
151
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:13,982
I could show you!
152
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:16,288
[shouts]Hey, hey!
153
00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:23,383
You were right, Marty.
154
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,341
This is really
helping me calm down.
155
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,864
Yeah, I know.
156
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:29,040
I just love getting my
hands down in the earth,
157
00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,391
nurturing my little
baby vegetables.
158
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:32,914
It helps me stay grounded.
159
00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:35,438
Plus, their
dependence on me
160
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:37,919
makes me feel like a god.
161
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,618
Oh, hey, Gemma.
What are you doing out here
162
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:44,273
with Marty
and his Cabbage Patch Kids?
163
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:47,058
Well, Marty thought gardening
might help take my mind
164
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:49,409
off what happened last night,
and he was right.
165
00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:51,889
It is so nice
to only be thinking about
166
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,108
what's right in front of me.
167
00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:55,458
Carrots and radishes...
Oh, my God!
168
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:57,417
What?! Did you see
a potato bug?
169
00:06:57,460 --> 00:07:00,202
Show me and I will
smite him!
170
00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:02,900
No, my wedding ring is missing.
171
00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:05,163
It must have fallen off
somewhere in the garden.
172
00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:08,123
Okay, don't worry, i-it's got
to be in here somewhere.
173
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:09,907
Uh, we'll just dig around
until we find it.
174
00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:12,214
Uh, well, yeah, yeah, yeah,
but-but please be careful.
175
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:13,737
Remember, these are my babies.
176
00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:16,174
The hell with that. One
of your babies stole my ring.
177
00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:24,444
So I looked the guy
straight in the eye and I said,
178
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,576
"We can do this the easy way
179
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,578
"or we can do it the hard way.
180
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:32,103
And F.Y.I.,
I like it the hard way."
181
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,411
I think they
get the picture, Dave.
182
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,413
Especially after
you drew them one.
183
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,024
I got to give it to you, Dave,
184
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:41,983
I-I had no idea
you were such a tough dude.
185
00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:43,463
Hey, I don't
go looking for trouble,
186
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:45,377
but when I hear
it's looking for me,
187
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:49,599
I raise my hand and I say,
"Dave Johnson, who dis?"
188
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:52,559
Ooh! Hey, yo, Calvin,
how come you ain't never tell us
189
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:55,475
Dave know how to throw
them hands, man?
190
00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,955
I guess I never
really had the time.
191
00:07:57,999 --> 00:08:01,481
Because clearly it takes
an hour and a half.
192
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:05,049
Hey, Dave, now that I know
you can hang,
193
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:08,488
I run a little private casino
situation a few times a week.
194
00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:11,142
You know, poker, shooting pool,
throwing dice.
195
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,970
You should come by tonight.Uh, actually,
196
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:16,452
Trey, I don't believe that
that's Dave's scene.
197
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,628
What are you talking about,
Calvin? I love a good dice game.
198
00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:21,413
You know, I don't want to brag,
but I once threw
199
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,415
three Yahtzees in a row.
200
00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:26,418
[laughter]
201
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:28,464
Man, you're funny.
202
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,987
But don't make
any jokes tonight.
203
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:31,336
Laughing always leads to fights.
204
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:33,121
Why?
205
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:36,124
I never asked.
Questions also lead to fights.
206
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,606
Hey, Dave, can I talk
to you for a minute?
207
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:42,260
Yeah, uh, hold on.
[sighs] What's up?
208
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:45,089
Look, trust me,
you do not want
209
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:47,570
any part of Trey's "casino."
210
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,050
Why not?
211
00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:51,139
It's a rough crowd, man.
212
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,707
You say the wrong thing in there
and they'll whup your ass
213
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:56,448
till you're as bottomless
as those lemonades.
214
00:08:57,667 --> 00:09:01,018
Okay, Calvin,
I appreciate your concern,
215
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:04,544
but I think I've proven
that I can handle myself.
216
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:07,242
Okay, all right,
look, I get it.
217
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:10,332
Uh, y-you're feeling yourself,
and that's cool, man.
218
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:12,726
But we both know
things didn't go down
219
00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:15,337
exactly the way
you've been telling those guys.
220
00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:18,296
Name one thing
that didn't happen.
221
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:21,517
You running up the wall
to do a flying kick.
222
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:25,477
Okay, well, name another.
223
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:29,133
You running up that wall
to do a second flying kick.
224
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:31,527
Come on, man.
225
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,094
I'm just trying
to protect you here.
226
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,443
Oh, you mean like the way
227
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,706
that I had to protect you
last night?
228
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:38,621
Excuse me?
229
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,231
Yeah, that's right.
230
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:41,624
While I was taking care
of business
231
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,365
and you were just
standing there doing nothing.
232
00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:45,715
Oh.
Oh, oh, okay.
233
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,456
All right.
234
00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:49,632
So that's the way
you feel about it?
235
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:52,200
Yeah.
That's the way I feel.
236
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:54,811
All right, then fine.
237
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:57,292
Knock yourself out.
Or better yet,
238
00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:59,642
take Yahtzee
and somebody else will.
239
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:08,433
[whoops][cheering]
240
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:13,525
Hey, Dave, glad
you made it.
241
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,266
Oh, me, too.
242
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,660
Wow, Trey, you've got
a nice setup here.
243
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,444
You even have a coat check guy.
244
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,664
We don't have a coat check guy.
245
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:25,276
Well, in that case it looks like
I don't have a coat.
246
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:30,107
Uh, I brought some red wine
and a charcuterie tray.
247
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,501
Uh, you might want
to give the guys a heads-up.
248
00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:35,373
The Roquefort
is a little robust.
249
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:37,288
Great. I'll let
Mad Dog know.
250
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:39,856
For a tough dude, he has
very delicate taste buds.
251
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,860
Okay, what should I do first?
252
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:45,775
I've got a hundred bucks
burning a hole in my coat po...
253
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:49,300
Ah, damn it.
254
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,780
It's cool.
I got you, Dave.
255
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,826
But next time, if somebody
offers to park your car,
256
00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,654
we don't have
a valet either.
257
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:57,395
Yo, guys, this is my boy Dave.
258
00:10:57,439 --> 00:11:00,181
That's Carlos, Ricky and Eddie.
259
00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:03,532
I'd shake your hands but,
uh, I have cheese fingers.
260
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:06,143
[dice rattling]
261
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:07,362
Yeah!
262
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,494
What's up with you, Eddie?
263
00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:10,713
You just got out of jail.
264
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:13,324
That usually puts a smile
on your face.
265
00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:16,371
I know, but my favorite
cousin just went in.
266
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,852
He got busted last night
trying to rob a barbershop.
267
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:29,210
What's that you say?
268
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:31,603
Yeah, some clown jumped him
with a broom
269
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,388
and held him
till the cops showed up.
270
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,261
What a crazy story
271
00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:41,788
that I am definitely hearing
for the very first time.
272
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:44,225
Crazy's gonna be what
I do to the guy
273
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:45,879
if I ever find out who did it.
274
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:48,490
I would do the same thing
275
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,840
if I ever found me...
I mean him.
276
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,236
Trey, why would you
invite me here?
277
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:57,238
Dave, I swear, I didn't
know they were related.
278
00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:58,761
But you gotta go.
279
00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:00,458
If I get any blood stains
in this place,
280
00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:03,679
I'm gonna lose my
cleaning deposit.Okay. Okay, okay.
281
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,420
I... Look, I'm out of here.
282
00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:07,639
Uh, guys, it was
very nice meeting you.
283
00:12:07,683 --> 00:12:09,772
Whoa, whoa. Hold on, man,
you can't leave.
284
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:13,210
House rules.
New guy always rolls.
285
00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:15,299
Well, that's very thoughtful
of you,
286
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:17,214
but I-I really should be going.
287
00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:20,652
But feel free to help yourself
to some charcuterie
288
00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:23,394
and a very oaky merlot.
289
00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:26,528
I wasn't asking you.
I was telling you.
290
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,705
New guy rolls.
291
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,321
Okay, but, uh...
292
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,323
I warned you
about the cheese fingers,
293
00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:42,587
so if these dice get stinky,
well...
294
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:43,893
that's on you!
295
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,895
[dice rattling]
296
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:47,636
[exclaims]
Oh, yeah.
297
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:55,513
Oh, my ring has to
be here somewhere!
298
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:56,906
Keep digging.
299
00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:59,300
Oh, okay, okay.
But-but take it easy.
300
00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:01,302
You are destroying
my entire garden.
301
00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:03,783
Oh, that's not true.
Your carrots are still safe.
302
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:06,611
Oh, my God, it might be
in the carrots.
303
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:10,485
Uh, okay,
this is a disaster!
304
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:13,357
All I have left
is two strawberries,
305
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:14,837
some kale and a beet.
306
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:16,360
If you'll excuse me,
I'm going inside
307
00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:18,449
to make the world's
saddest smoothie.
308
00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:23,977
I feel so bad for Marty.
309
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,370
I think it's gonna be
a long time before
310
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:28,851
I'll be able to eat
a vegetable again.
311
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:31,375
Nice try, Grover.
312
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:32,594
It was worth a shot.
313
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,820
Hey, Calvin, what are
you doing home?
314
00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,865
I thought you were
hanging out with Dave tonight.
315
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,780
Change of plans.
316
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:48,305
Dave went to Trey's
underground casino.
317
00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:50,655
So I decided to stay home
318
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:52,875
and do something fun
with you instead.
319
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,616
Are you crazy?!
320
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:58,881
You let Dave go to
Trey's by himself?
321
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:02,015
Okay, so maybe I should have
gone bowling.
322
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,540
Calvin, how could
you do that?
323
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,585
You know how rough
things get over there.
324
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:10,371
Hey, I tried to warn him,
but he wouldn't listen.
325
00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:12,764
So now he's got to learn
the hard way.
326
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:15,680
Because apparently,
that's the way he likes it.
327
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,467
What are you
talking about?
328
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:22,470
Hey, you should have heard him
down at the shop
329
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:24,733
bragging about how tough he is.
330
00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:26,909
So?So?
331
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:30,695
This is the same Dave
whose favorite season is autumn
332
00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:33,046
because he loves to jump
in leaf piles.
333
00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:38,834
Come on, Calvin, give
him a break. You know?
334
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,488
He's just excited
'cause he's finally
335
00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:41,663
getting some shine.
336
00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:42,969
What do you mean?
337
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:45,580
I mean, when you and Dave
go down to the shop,
338
00:14:45,623 --> 00:14:47,364
you know, you're always
the big dog.
339
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:50,585
The one in the spotlight
getting everyone's respect.
340
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:52,892
What do you think that's like?
341
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:56,417
Oh, I know what it's like.
It's amazing.
342
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,549
I meant for Dave.
343
00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,943
Come on, Calvin,
think about it.
344
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,945
He doesn't get
to experience that.
345
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:05,730
So can you blame him for
getting carried away?
346
00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:07,994
Eh, I guess not.
347
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,560
See?
You know what?
348
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:12,128
I better get down there
and make sure he's okay.
349
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:14,609
Oh, good. Take your coat
'cause it's cold out.
350
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:17,394
Oh, I'm taking two,
'cause ten bucks says
351
00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:18,613
Dave already lost his.
352
00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:26,403
It's no use.
We've looked everywhere.
353
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:27,796
We're never gonna find it.
354
00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:30,016
Oh, don't worry, Gemma,
I'm sure it'll turn up.
355
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:32,757
Look, maybe one day Marty
will be eating a salad,
356
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:35,412
and boom-- "Ah, chipped tooth.
357
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,761
There it is."
358
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:42,071
I know you're trying to help,
but I just feel terrible.
359
00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:43,812
First I almost lose Dave,
360
00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:46,597
now I lose the ring he gave me
when we got married.
361
00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:50,036
Okay, that's true, but
think about it this way.
362
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:52,952
You didn't lose Dave.
He's totally fine.
363
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,997
All you lost was
a piece of jewelry.
364
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:59,436
You're right. I'm focusing
on the wrong thing.
365
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,786
Dave's okay,
and that's all that matters.
366
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,614
Exactly.
367
00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:06,095
I mean, if you think about it,
the ring was just a symbol
368
00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:10,099
of what's really important:
the love we have for each other.
369
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:12,884
As long as we have that,
who needs a silly little...
370
00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:14,799
Mom, Mom, Mom!
I found your ring!
371
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,627
Oh, thank God!
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.
372
00:16:19,152 --> 00:16:21,981
It was in a little tray
next to the kitchen sink.
373
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,940
That's right, I took it off
to wash the dishes
374
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,594
right before I came
over here to...
375
00:16:27,943 --> 00:16:30,641
Murder every one
of Marty's veggie babies
376
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:31,991
for no reason.
377
00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:36,473
That is a very harsh...
378
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:38,649
yet accurate way to say it.
379
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,956
So...
380
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,479
what are you gonna tell Marty?
381
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,525
[sighs]
382
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:46,657
Well, sweetie, as
hard as it may be,
383
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:49,486
when you make a mistake
and you hurt somebody,
384
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,662
you always have to
tell them the truth.
385
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:52,968
Oh, the truth about what?
386
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,536
That I just found my ring
right here!
387
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,670
But you just said that...Hey, hey, hey, kid,
388
00:16:59,714 --> 00:17:01,150
play your cards right
and you won't have to
389
00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:02,717
eat a vegetable for years.
390
00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:06,721
[dice rattling]
391
00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:09,158
[all cheer]
392
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,771
Man, you're on the hottest
streak I've ever seen.
393
00:17:13,815 --> 00:17:15,077
Yeah, man, you can't lose.
394
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,210
Yeah, lucky me.
It's like I couldn't even
395
00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:19,603
get out of here if I wanted to.
396
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:22,519
No way, man, you ain't
going anywhere. I'm up big.
397
00:17:22,563 --> 00:17:24,739
Come on, man,
keep rolling.
398
00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:27,959
Okay, uh, anything but a seven,
right, guys?
399
00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:31,702
Okay. Please, God, a seven.
Please, God, a seven.
400
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:32,834
[all cheer]
401
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:34,227
Yes! I win again.
402
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,229
Get over here,
cheese fingers!
403
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:41,234
Damn, I knew he was in
over his head.
404
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,236
Hey! Get your hands off of him!
405
00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,066
What's your problem, man?
406
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:50,199
I'm not the one
with the problem, you are.
407
00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:53,072
Do you have any idea
who you're messing with?
408
00:17:55,857 --> 00:17:59,556
No, he does not, and I would
really love to keep it that way.
409
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,864
Nah, Dave, this fool
needs to know
410
00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:06,128
that you single-handedly
took down an armed robber
411
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:08,087
at Que's barbershop
yesterday.
412
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,566
What?!
413
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:11,655
Yeah, that's right.
414
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:13,048
He whupped the dude's ass
so bad,
415
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,268
he sent him crying to his mama.
416
00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:18,271
Aunt Lorraine?
417
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:23,145
So you're the guy that
got my cousin busted.
418
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:25,016
Cousin?
419
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,975
Oh, damn.
420
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:30,718
Okay, well, Eddie, yes.
421
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:33,764
Technically, I am the one who
got your cousin busted,
422
00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:36,115
but let's not forget
that I'm also the one
423
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,594
who brought the
charcuterie plate
424
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:39,770
that everyone has been
raving about.
425
00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:42,208
That's it, you're a dead man.
426
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:44,297
Oh, no, he's not. Ha!
427
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,957
Calvin! You said you didn't
know how to play Frisbee.
428
00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:56,744
No, I said Frisbee golf.
Big difference, Dave.
429
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:00,835
Hey, I'm just gonna take this.
430
00:19:00,878 --> 00:19:02,706
It's probably too oaky
for you guys.
431
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:11,933
I told you, Dave, you didn't
have to give me a gift.
432
00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:14,631
I know, but it's just my way
of saying thank you
433
00:19:14,675 --> 00:19:16,111
for saving my life.
434
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,808
Look, if I hadn't gotten
such a big head,
435
00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:18,983
none of this would have
ever happened.
436
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:21,377
Well, when you put it
like that,
437
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:22,987
why isn't this bigger?
438
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:30,125
Yahtzee?
You got me Yahtzee?
439
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,214
Okay...
440
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:36,305
Look, I know it's not cool,
like Trey's dice game,
441
00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:39,003
but it's actually really fun
if you give it a chance.
442
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:40,918
You know what, Dave,
443
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:43,094
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.
444
00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:46,228
And that's only because of
what you did at the barbershop,
445
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,012
but...
446
00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:51,712
I love Yahtzee, too, man!
447
00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:56,238
What?! First I find out
you Frisbee, and now this?
448
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:58,022
I know, I should have told you.
449
00:19:58,066 --> 00:20:01,025
Are you kidding me?
Yahtzee and Frisbee?
450
00:20:01,069 --> 00:20:02,853
You throw in a cheese tray,
and this is gonna be
451
00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:04,115
the weekend of my life.
452
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,728
I hope you like a smoked Gouda.
453
00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:21,350
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
454
00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:23,396
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
33611
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