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1
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:15,058
Oh, hey.
What are you watching?
2
00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:17,408
Oh, nothing.
Now that Malcolm's moved out,
3
00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:20,194
I'm deleting all his shows
off the DVR.
4
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:23,023
[chuckles]:
60 Minutes,time's up.
5
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:26,026
Documentary
on the rain forest?
6
00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:28,245
Rain, rain, go away.
7
00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:30,117
Friends?
8
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:33,250
I don't recall seeing
any of ourpeople on that.
9
00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:35,035
Hey, hey!
10
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,558
Iwas recording that show.
11
00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:39,561
You know I love watching
white people invent problems.
12
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,913
I just want the DVR
to feel as free as I do.
13
00:00:43,956 --> 00:00:46,611
Like, no more arguments,
no more backtalk.
14
00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:49,397
The memory of Malcolm
living here is fading faster
15
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,835
than his butt-print
on that couch.
16
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:55,272
Well, actually,
that is exactly
17
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:57,753
what I wanted to
talk to you about.
18
00:00:57,796 --> 00:01:00,364
Now that Malcolm's gone,
we're gonna have
19
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:02,627
a lot more time
where's it's just...
20
00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,107
you and me.
21
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:07,110
Ooh. I get it.Mm-hmm.
22
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:10,070
So you're saying we could
get freaky wherever we want to.
23
00:01:10,113 --> 00:01:12,115
What about...
what about this chair?
24
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:13,769
I mean,
or the kitchen?
25
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:15,423
Maybe over by the fireplace.
26
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:20,123
I mean, where do you want
to make our first butt-print?
27
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:21,907
That is not
what I meant.
28
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,649
What I mean is, we're
free to focus on us.
29
00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:26,564
You know, try new things,
30
00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:28,566
expand our horizons.
31
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,133
Oh.
32
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:32,831
Yeah, that just sounds
like a fancy way of saying:
33
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:35,399
doing stuff
that I don't like.
34
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:37,836
Aw, come on, baby.
35
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,404
I was looking at community
college classes we could take.
36
00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:42,145
Like here. Look.
37
00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:44,191
An Introduction
to Drawing.
38
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:48,412
[sighs] Babe, look, I got
all the fun I need right here.
39
00:01:48,456 --> 00:01:50,153
I got my chair,
I got my remote,
40
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:53,156
and an empty DVR to fill
with blooper shows.
41
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,245
I know that God loves
all His children,
42
00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:58,553
but clearly,
He loves me more.
43
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,164
Okay, fine.
44
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,035
You could sit at
home and do nothing.
45
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:06,300
I am going out
and expanding my horizons.
46
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:07,692
[chuckles]
47
00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:10,913
I'm expanding mine, too--
right here in this chair.
48
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:14,046
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
49
00:02:14,090 --> 00:02:15,309
♪ Welcome to the hood.
50
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:21,010
This is gonna be
so much fun!
51
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:23,404
[laughs]I can't believe Calvin
would rather sit at home
52
00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:24,796
than come with us.
53
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,016
Yeah, his idea of fun
is watching blooper shows
54
00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:28,322
with his buddy Ernie.
55
00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:30,585
I just don't understand
why men go so nuts
56
00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:33,631
watching other men
get hit in the nuts.
57
00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:37,287
Well, his loss is my gain.
58
00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:39,289
What could be more fun
than spending an evening
59
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:40,334
with my best friend,
60
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:42,205
doing art and drinking wine?
61
00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:43,250
Oh.
62
00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:44,468
What are you
talking about?
63
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:46,122
They're not serving wine.I know.
64
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,298
But I am.
65
00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:53,390
Just when I thought I knew you,
more ghetto shows up.
66
00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:58,569
Okay. Welcome
to Introduction to Drawing.
67
00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:00,876
I'm your instructor,
Deborah.
68
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,965
I apologize
in advance.
69
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:04,575
We were supposed
to kick off tonight
70
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:06,969
sketching a bowl of fruit,
but my boyfriend was too busy
71
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:10,059
playing video games
to swing by Trader Joe's.
72
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:13,802
So instead, we're gonna skip
right to figure drawing.
73
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,630
Please welcome our model,
74
00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:17,066
Antonio.
75
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:23,072
Gemma, this guy's
just wearing a robe.
76
00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:36,955
Not anymore.
77
00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:41,786
Bishop takes knight.
78
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:43,658
Or, as I like to call it,
79
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,094
"bish, please."
80
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,705
Well, call it what
you want, but...
81
00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:49,316
checkmate.
82
00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:50,926
Ha-ha!
83
00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:53,015
Son of a bish!
84
00:03:53,058 --> 00:03:54,886
Guys, you are
never gonna believe
85
00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:56,888
what I found in
the basement.
86
00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:58,977
[coughs, groans]
87
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:00,370
Um, what'd you find?
88
00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:02,242
It's an old manuscript
for a book Walter wrote.
89
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,287
He must have forgotten it
when he moved out.
90
00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:05,375
Seriously?
91
00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:07,247
That cranky old dude
wrote a book?
92
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,596
What is it?
93
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:10,815
Calling People Dummies
For Dummies?
94
00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:13,209
Actually, I think
it's a mystery novel.
95
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,559
Check out the title.
[clears throat]
96
00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:18,606
Dead Because of Murder.
97
00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:21,522
Ha!
Well,
if the murder weapon
98
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:24,829
was a terrible title,
I think we found it.
99
00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:26,396
[chuckles]
Yeah, you know what?
100
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,789
Read a little bit, Marty.
101
00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:29,921
Oh, this is gonna be hilarious.
102
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:32,402
Okay, here we go.
Chapter one.
103
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:35,318
"Standing there in the rain,
lightning streaked the sky.
104
00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:37,494
"I stared at the woman
in the red dress
105
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:38,930
"and knew three things--
106
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:41,933
"she was young,
she was gorgeous,
107
00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:44,066
and she was dead."
108
00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:47,635
Damn, Walter,
that's pretty good.
109
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:48,853
Are you kidding me?
110
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:50,115
It's great.
111
00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:53,031
That old son of a bish
can write.
112
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:54,816
Yeah, keep reading, Marty.
113
00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,165
Oh, don't worry, man,
there's no way
114
00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:57,471
I'm putting
this down now.
115
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:01,649
To us.Out loud,
116
00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,215
Marty, come on.To us, Marty.
117
00:05:05,696 --> 00:05:07,350
[loud clack on TV]
118
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,482
Oh!Ooh!
119
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:10,440
Ooh, a bat
to the crotch.
120
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:12,790
That is hard to look at.
121
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,879
Yeah, I know.
Let's watch it again.
122
00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:15,793
Yeah.
123
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,055
[loud clack]
124
00:05:17,099 --> 00:05:18,361
Oh!Aah!
125
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:19,797
Oh-ho-ho!Oh...
126
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,495
Hey, babe.
Hi, Ernie.
127
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:22,931
Hey, Tina.
128
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,715
Hi, baby.
How was your art class?
129
00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:26,935
Ugh. It was crazy.
You're not gonna believe this,
130
00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,806
but we had a nude model.
131
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:31,331
Nude? Oh.
How nude are we talking?
132
00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:33,681
North of the border,
south of the border,
133
00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:35,987
or the whole country?
134
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,989
Well, let's just say
I saw everything
135
00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:39,774
from sea to shining sea.
136
00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,341
ERNIE:
Oh-ho,
137
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:44,605
in that case, allow me
to take a peruse of the map.
138
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:45,997
Oh. Okay.
139
00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:48,348
There we go.
140
00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,001
Wait. Hold on.
141
00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:52,003
This ain't no damn model.
142
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:54,005
It's a naked dude!
143
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,616
What?
144
00:05:55,659 --> 00:05:58,183
I know. I mean, I
was surprised, too,
145
00:05:58,227 --> 00:06:00,838
but I did a really good job.
Look, Calvin.
146
00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,927
Uh, yeah, almost too good.
147
00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:05,495
Baby, you're not
even looking at it.
148
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:08,977
Well, I will when you
draw him some pants.
149
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,195
Wait. Wait,
wait, wait.
150
00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:11,632
You didn't know
that your wife
151
00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:14,374
was gonna be staring
at a naked dude all night?
152
00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:17,725
Talk about a bat to the crotch.
153
00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:19,379
It's not like that, Ernie.
154
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,250
There's nothing sexual
about it.
155
00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:23,861
It's just, to an artist,
he's a beautiful specimen
156
00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:25,385
of the human form.
157
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:28,823
Mm-hmm. You can say
it's not sexual all you want,
158
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:30,390
but all my ex-wives
159
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,174
would have left
me for that.
160
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,089
And I just mean the picture.
161
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,484
Hey, are you cool
with this, Calvin?
162
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:38,354
Well, you know...
163
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,095
Of course he's cool with it.
164
00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:41,879
He's not insecure
like you, Ernie.
165
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:43,838
He's not threatened by this.
166
00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:45,013
Right, Calvin?
167
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:46,406
Of course not.Yeah.
168
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:49,278
Huh. Why would I
be threatened by him?
169
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:51,541
I mean, any man that
works out that much
170
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:55,240
and is willing to pose nude
in front of strangers, well,
171
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:58,374
he's the one that's insecure.
172
00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:01,725
See?
173
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,684
My baby gets it. Mwah!
174
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,947
[chuckles]
175
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:08,602
What?
176
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:12,127
Notice she took the
picture with her.
177
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:24,008
Oh, man. This is intense.
178
00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:25,445
I know.
179
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:28,360
I may need you
to walk me home tonight.
180
00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:31,451
Will you two
be quiet?
181
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:34,018
I'm about to find out
who the killer is.
182
00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:38,458
Hold up.
The box is empty.
183
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:39,241
What?
184
00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:40,460
The last page is missing!
185
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:42,462
Just like
the chauffeur's left eye!
186
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:44,594
Are you kidding me?
187
00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:47,118
No, man,
the very last line says...
188
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:50,078
uh, "Standing there,
bloody knife in hand,
189
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:52,210
was none other than..."
190
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:53,995
And then there's no more!
191
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:57,607
Oh, man, this sucks.
192
00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:59,435
We just spent 12 hours
reading a whodunit,
193
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,003
and we don't get to find out
who done it?
194
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:03,961
This is so frustrating.
195
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:08,575
O-Okay, you guys,
it's not that big a deal.
196
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:11,142
I think it's pretty obvious
to all of us that the killer
197
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,317
was the personal chef.
198
00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:13,493
What?!What?!
199
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,495
No, man, it was clearly
the pool boy.
200
00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:17,192
That's why there were
bloody fingerprints
201
00:08:17,235 --> 00:08:19,629
all over the inflatable swan.
202
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:21,413
You're both crazy.
203
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:24,721
It was obviously the bastard son
who was cut out of the will,
204
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:26,723
whose name was Will...
205
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,682
which was kind of
confusing for a while!
206
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:31,206
It was definitely not Will.Of course it was Will!
207
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,513
[overlapping shouting]An inflatable swan?
208
00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:35,515
Okay, okay.
209
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:39,170
Clearly,
there is only one person
210
00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:41,738
who knows for sure
what the answer is.
211
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,218
And that's Walter.
212
00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:45,176
Yeah, but we have
no idea where he is.
213
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:46,482
Yeah, all we know
214
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,092
is he moved
to a retirement community
215
00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:51,226
in Palm Springs, and there's
got to be hundreds of them.
216
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:52,749
Okay, gentlemen, well...
217
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:55,535
sounds like we have a mystery
of our own to solve.
218
00:08:55,578 --> 00:08:57,667
But first lock the door--
they just found
219
00:08:57,711 --> 00:09:00,061
the chauffeur's missing eye,
and I am freakin' out!
220
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:08,548
Oh, hey, babe.
Whatcha doing?
221
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,593
Working some more on my sketch.
222
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:14,031
Oh. So you're still doing
that thing I'm totally cool with
223
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:16,556
that doesn't bother me at all?
224
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:21,386
I was looking at it again, and
thought I could do a better job
225
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:23,084
of shading
Antonio's muscles out.
226
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:24,389
Oh.
227
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:26,217
Antonio?
228
00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:28,742
I'm guessing you didn't get that
off a name tag.
229
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:34,791
You know, for some reason,
I just can't get this right.
230
00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,271
Oh, well, it'll be easier
231
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:38,360
when I see him at class tonight.
232
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,318
Uh, he's gonna be there again?
233
00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:42,233
Yeah. For the next couple
of sessions.
234
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:44,366
Last night was
about basic form.
235
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:46,107
Tonight
we'll get more into detail.
236
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,631
Well, how much more detail
do you need?
237
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,373
I can already tell
the guy's religion.
238
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:57,597
Wait a second, now.
What's going on?
239
00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,077
I thought you said you
were cool with this.
240
00:10:00,121 --> 00:10:01,296
Well, I was...
241
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:03,472
until he's got a name
242
00:10:03,515 --> 00:10:06,127
and you're doing
all this shading of muscles
243
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:07,650
and highlighting.
244
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:10,435
You know what, I'm starting
to think Ernie might be right.
245
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:12,437
[scoffs] What?
Are you serious?
246
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:14,309
You're gonna
listen to Ernie?
247
00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,311
That man's been married
five times.
248
00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:19,706
He's got more rings
than LeBron James.
249
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,359
Exactly.
250
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,144
Which is why he knows the signs.
251
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:26,190
And one of them is when
your wife starts hanging out
252
00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:29,193
with a dude that's hanging out.
253
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:32,196
So what are you saying?
254
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,722
I'm saying that you're not
going back to that art class.
255
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,288
Oh. Excuse me?
256
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:38,725
No, I mean it, Tina.
257
00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:40,683
I don't want you spending time
with this guy.
258
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:43,294
And I don't want you telling me
what I can and can't do.
259
00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:45,383
[chuckles]:
Oh, isn't that rich.
260
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:47,647
You can tell me
261
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:48,865
what I can't do,
262
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:51,520
but I can't tell you
what you can't cannot do
263
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:53,478
if you was trying to
do something and I said, "No,"
264
00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:56,264
and you said, "Yes, I can,"
and I said, "No, you can't."
265
00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:00,572
You know what I mean.
266
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:07,536
No. But what I know is
267
00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:10,670
you cannot not stop me
from not doing what I want!
268
00:11:11,453 --> 00:11:14,108
Wait, wait a minute.
Are you going or not?
269
00:11:14,151 --> 00:11:16,632
'Cause I need to know
if I won this argument.
270
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:26,642
All right, I'm meeting Gemma for
dinner, then going to art class.
271
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,079
Have fun watching your
stupid blooper shows.
272
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:32,953
Well, actually, we're not
watching blooper shows tonight.
273
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:35,651
We realize we've
been close-minded,
274
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:40,656
so we've decided to partake
of some art ourselves.
275
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,658
Oh, really? Where?
276
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,617
The Wiggle Palace
on 40th Street.
277
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:50,535
So much classier
than the Jiggle Barn on 12th.
278
00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:52,102
[both laugh]
279
00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,582
Seriously, Calvin?
280
00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:55,497
You're trying to tell me
that going to a strip club
281
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:57,760
is the same
as going to art class?
282
00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:59,240
Isn't it?
283
00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:01,416
I mean, it's like you said.
284
00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:03,897
They're all
just beautiful specimens
285
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:06,160
of human form.
286
00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:07,901
Besides, Ernie tells me
there's a girl there
287
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,990
by the name of Monet.
288
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:14,734
That's right, that's right.
She, uh, she works in oils.
289
00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:15,996
[chuckles]
290
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:17,867
Fine, do what you want.
291
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:20,522
But you're acting like a child.
292
00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:21,697
No, I'm not.
293
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,481
And even if I was,
it wouldn't matter,
294
00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:26,789
because the Wiggle Palace
has a day care!
295
00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:31,272
All right, buddy,
you ready?
296
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:34,797
Let's go give some "mo-ney"
to Monet.
297
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,538
Forget it, Ernie.
298
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:39,019
We ain't going to no
damn Wiggle Palace.
299
00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:41,412
Wh-What?
300
00:12:41,456 --> 00:12:44,894
No, I was just trying
to bluff Tina to make a point.
301
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:46,678
Now I got to think
of something else.
302
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:50,291
Trust me, Calvin, just-just
let her do her thing.
303
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:52,162
She'll get over it.
304
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,338
Or she'll never come home.
305
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:57,080
I've had wives do both.
306
00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:02,042
Okay. So, our
missing person
307
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,826
is Walter Brown.
308
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:07,221
Yes. Last seen driving off
in a moving van
309
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:09,789
while giving us all the finger.
310
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,356
We know
311
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,011
he moved to one
of 87 retirement communities
312
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,273
in Palm Springs,
313
00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:18,667
but that is where
the trail goes cold.
314
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,234
I mean, I don't know
if this gives us anything,
315
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,802
but I'm pretty sure
Walter is left-handed.
316
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:25,805
Or at least left-fingered.
317
00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:27,067
Wait a second.
318
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:28,111
That's it.
319
00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,809
Oh, what? What's it?
320
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,158
Fingers.
321
00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:33,377
"Don't Lift a Finger
Moving Company."
322
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:34,857
It was written
on the side of the truck.
323
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,163
We should call them.
324
00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:37,468
Yeah, but they're
not gonna give out
325
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:38,861
personal information
to just anyone.
326
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:41,864
Which is why
I'm not gonna be just anyone.
327
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,301
I'm gonna be Walter.
328
00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:46,913
Oh. So, you telling us
329
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:49,480
that you're gonna do
Black voice?
330
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:57,837
On second thought,
one of you should do it.
331
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:05,409
[imitating Walter]:
Yeah, hey. This is Walter Brown.
332
00:14:05,453 --> 00:14:08,282
One of you jackasses
lost my damn ottoman.
333
00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:12,286
Well, where the hell
did you deliver it to?
334
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:15,028
Rancho La Vista
Senior Living,
335
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,943
unit 31-B.
336
00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:20,598
Oh, never mind. Here it is,
right under my feet. Bye.
337
00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:24,907
Boys, looks like we're going
to Palm Springs.
338
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,561
Hell yeah, jackasses!
339
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,390
[regular voice]:
Sorry, I was still in character.
340
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,438
Seriously? He thinks
going to a strip club
341
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:36,571
is the same thing as
going to an art class?
342
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:39,269
I know. It's like
comparing apples to oranges.
343
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:42,533
Or, in the case of Antonio,
bananas.
344
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:46,668
Well, don't let Calvin's
negativity ruin your night.
345
00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:49,889
For the next two hours,
don't even think about him.
346
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,635
Which suddenly became
much harder to do.
347
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:03,946
Calvin, what? What
are you doing here?
348
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,208
Isn't it obvious?
349
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:07,907
I'm the model
for tonight's class.
350
00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:15,001
What did you do to Antonio?
351
00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,437
I bought him off.
352
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,787
I gave him 40 bucks
and a free oil change.
353
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,789
Ironically, he was so oiled up,
354
00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:22,399
he dropped the coupon.
[chuckles]
355
00:15:22,443 --> 00:15:25,141
You are unbelievable.
356
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:27,187
What's wrong, Tina?
357
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:29,624
It's like you said.
It's only art.
358
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:34,063
And we both know I'm packing
one hell of an exhibit.
359
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:37,980
You know what? Maybe I'll
just sketch my shoes tonight.
360
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:40,548
If you need me, I'll be the one
looking straight down.
361
00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:44,030
Oh, please, Calvin.
362
00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:45,466
We both know there is no way
363
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:47,903
you're actually gonna
go through with this.
364
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,253
[chuckles]
Oh, really?
365
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,347
Okay. That's it.
366
00:15:57,391 --> 00:16:00,046
I want to talk to you
in the hallway now.
367
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:02,918
Okay. Make it quick.
All right, it's cold out there,
368
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,920
and I got to model
in a few minutes.
369
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:09,272
Okay, this is it. 31-B.
370
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:10,970
I hope he's home.
371
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:13,668
It's 8:30.
Where else would he be?Are you kidding me?
372
00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,583
They have shuffleboard,
aqua aerobics
373
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:16,888
and a puzzle room here.
374
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:19,587
If you over 70,
this place is lit.
375
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:21,937
[laughs]:
Hey!
376
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,330
Walter!
377
00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:25,941
It's us. It is nice to see you.
378
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,595
What the hell
are you doing here?
379
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,466
When I moved out,
didn't you see me
380
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:30,902
give you the finger?
381
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:33,949
Yes, Walter.
But, you know,
382
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,430
we came to tell you
that we found your book
383
00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:37,866
in the basement.MALCOLM:
Yeah.
384
00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:40,390
We all read it,
and it was amazing.
385
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:41,435
Really?
386
00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:43,089
Yeah. The only problem is
387
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,612
when we got to the end,
388
00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:46,266
the last page was missing.DAVE:
Yeah,
389
00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:47,745
which is why we need you
390
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,617
to tell us who
the killer is.
391
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,314
Well, since you guys went
through all of the trouble
392
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:53,055
of tracking me down,
the least I can do
393
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:54,796
is tell you who it is.
394
00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:57,277
For all the cash you got
in your wallets.
395
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,453
What?
What?
396
00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:01,455
Yeah, you heard me.
My name ain't Google.
397
00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:03,022
Information ain't free.
398
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:07,287
All right, fine. Fine. Fine.
399
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,637
We will give you the money.
400
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,291
DAVE:
All right, Walter.
401
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,989
Tell them that the killer
402
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,643
was the chef.
403
00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:17,471
Oh, no, no, no.
He means the pool boy.
404
00:17:17,514 --> 00:17:19,473
It was the bastard son, right?
405
00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,910
You're all wrong.
406
00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:24,304
The murderer...
407
00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:25,914
is the butler.
408
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:28,699
Who? The butler?[stammers]
409
00:17:28,743 --> 00:17:30,658
Well, there's no
butler in the book.
410
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:32,007
Oh, well, sure, there is.
In the very first chapter,
411
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,791
he opens the door
for the detective.
412
00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:35,228
But that's the only time
he appears
413
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,751
in the entire book.
He doesn't even speak!
414
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:39,188
Exactly. That's why
he's the very last person
415
00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:41,582
you'd ever suspect.
416
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,018
Pretty good, right?
417
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,499
No, it's not pretty good!
418
00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:47,501
It's a "screw you"
to the reader!
419
00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:49,024
Why can't it be both?
420
00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:51,418
Oh, this is ridiculous.
421
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:52,941
Yeah, any one of us
could've written
422
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:54,377
a better ending than that.
423
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:55,726
Yeah, maybe.
424
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:58,468
But would anybody
pay you 200 bucks to hear it?
425
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:02,516
I didn't think so. The end.
426
00:18:04,648 --> 00:18:06,389
[groans]
427
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:08,391
I can't believe we drove
all this way for that.
428
00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:10,480
And we got to drive
all the way back.
429
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:13,135
But you know what we
can do on our way home?
430
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:14,919
We can write our own ending
to the book.
431
00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:18,140
I was gonna say play "I spy,"
432
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:20,316
but that is a
way better idea.
433
00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:24,277
What is going on with you?
434
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,192
And why are you
acting so crazy?
435
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:29,456
No, no, what's crazy is my wife
rushing out every night
436
00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:30,892
to look at a naked guy
437
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,633
when she's got
a perfectly good one
438
00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:34,939
sitting at home watching TV.
439
00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:36,637
You are ridiculous.
440
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:37,942
What do you think I'm gonna do,
441
00:18:37,986 --> 00:18:39,901
run off
with some model half my age?
442
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:42,469
What do you think I am, a man?
443
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,994
Of course not. I don't think
you're gonna run off with him.
444
00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:47,430
I just liked it better
445
00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:50,129
when the only man
you were thinking about was me.
446
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,305
[scoffs]
Are you kidding?
447
00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:55,264
Baby, you are
the only man I think about.
448
00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:57,092
You know the first thing
that popped in my head
449
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,050
the minute that guy
dropped his robe?
450
00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:02,010
Yeah, I got a good guess.
451
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:05,100
It wasn't that.
452
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,624
It was that I wish
you were there with me.
453
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,017
It was?
454
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:11,324
Yeah. Then I would've seen
the look on your face
455
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:13,108
and you would've seen
the look on mine,
456
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,155
and we would've laughed
our asses off together.
457
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:18,983
I mean, 'cause you know
when that guy took off his robe,
458
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:21,203
I would've said something
really, really hilarious.
459
00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:23,814
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's right.
460
00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:25,381
And then I would've
laughed too loud
461
00:19:25,425 --> 00:19:27,383
and fell out on the floor.I mean, who could blame you?
462
00:19:27,427 --> 00:19:30,343
It's my biggest flaw.
I'm just too damn funny.
463
00:19:30,386 --> 00:19:31,909
[laughs]
464
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,215
You see, babe?
465
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:34,738
This is what
I'm talking about.
466
00:19:34,782 --> 00:19:37,480
When I said I wanted to go out
and do fun stuff together,
467
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,917
it wasn't about the stuff.
468
00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:42,746
The fun part
was doing it with you.
469
00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:44,444
Mm.
470
00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:46,185
I'm sorry, babe.
471
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:48,535
I should've come with you.
472
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:50,841
The next time you want
to do something together,
473
00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:53,279
I promise, I will.
474
00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,411
Thank you.[chuckles]
475
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,329
So, what do you say?
You ready to get out of here?
476
00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:03,854
Yeah, but we're leaving
the class without a model.
477
00:20:03,898 --> 00:20:05,073
Don't worry, I got it.
478
00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:06,335
Okay.Yeah.
479
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:08,598
Hey, Ernie.
480
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:11,340
You want to make 40 bucks
and get a free oil change?
481
00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:20,567
Oh, damn.
482
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:21,698
Crazy, huh?
483
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:23,831
Oh, no.Oh, yes.
484
00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:25,746
Get out of town.
485
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:28,139
We actually had to.
486
00:20:30,011 --> 00:20:31,578
Okay, so, what do you think?
487
00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:34,276
[chuckles]
I thought it was great.[whispers]: Yes.
488
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,538
Up until the ending.
489
00:20:35,582 --> 00:20:37,279
What?
490
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:41,283
I mean, the personal chef,
the pool boy andthe bastard son
491
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,372
all committed the murders
together?
492
00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:46,593
What idiot
would come up with that?
493
00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:49,639
Are you...
494
00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:51,685
Are you kidding?
It was great.
495
00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:54,296
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the ending
pulled the whole story together.
496
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,211
Yeah, it's way better
than what Walter had.
497
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,605
Well, the ending's
all wrong.
498
00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:02,304
The killer was obviously
the shady-ass butler.
499
00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:04,045
I knew that
500
00:21:04,088 --> 00:21:05,829
the minute he opened the door.
501
00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:13,968
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
502
00:21:14,011 --> 00:21:15,274
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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