All language subtitles for The.Neighborhood.S03E12.Welcome.to.the.Treehouse.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,927 [knocking on door] 2 00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:18,366 Oh, hey, Dave! 3 00:00:18,409 --> 00:00:20,150 Come on in, buddy. 4 00:00:21,673 --> 00:00:23,066 Wow, you're in a really good mood. 5 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:26,678 I know. A new pothole opened up on Jefferson, 6 00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:28,332 and it is tearing up people's cars. 7 00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:31,161 They're breaking down right in front of my shop. 8 00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,162 [chuckles] 9 00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:33,859 Ain't God good? 10 00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,862 Okay, well, since you're so happy, 11 00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:39,126 you won't mind if I borrow a couple tools. 12 00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:40,214 Sure, what do you need? 13 00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:41,954 Okay, let's see. 14 00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,087 Here we go. 15 00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:46,611 Uh, all right. Miter saw, belt sander, 16 00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,091 power drill, carriage bolts, 17 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,006 auger bits, and the instruction manuals 18 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,182 on how to use all those things. 19 00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,926 Dave, I've told you a hundred times, we are not building 20 00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:59,059 a bridge connecting our houses. 21 00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:04,238 It was not a bridge, it was a catwalk. 22 00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:08,764 But this is about something else. Okay. 23 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:11,071 Grover has been begging me for a tree house, 24 00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:13,116 and since he's visiting his grandmother for a few days, 25 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,554 I thought I'd surprise him with one when he gets home. 26 00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:18,121 A tree house, huh? 27 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,515 I remember the one I built for Malcolm and Marty. 28 00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:22,299 That thing was amazing. 29 00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,997 Well, I've got some pretty exciting plans myself. 30 00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:28,262 Two words: bird feeder. 31 00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:33,876 I got two words for you: poor Grover. 32 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,096 Aw, man. 33 00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:38,576 You should've seen the one I built. 34 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,361 It had a lookout perch, 35 00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:41,840 a rope swing. 36 00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:45,192 It even had a secret door that led to a slide. 37 00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:48,238 I can't believe I'm saying this, but screw feeding the birds. 38 00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:51,111 Yeah, man, the boys spent the entire summer up there. 39 00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:52,503 By the time they came down, 40 00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:56,377 Marty needed longer pants and Malcolm had a goatee. 41 00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,467 Well, Calvin, that sounds awesome. Hey-- 42 00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:00,990 is there any chance that you would help me 43 00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:02,513 build Grover's tree house? 44 00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,080 Hmm. 45 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:08,998 This may be the pothole talking, but I'd love to. 46 00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:10,739 You know what, I got some extra wood in my garage, 47 00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:11,957 and anything else we need, 48 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:13,524 we can get at the hardware store. 49 00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:16,048 Okay, perfect. Also, we can swing by the pet store. 50 00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:18,834 I have 200 pounds of birdseed to return. 51 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,925 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 52 00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:24,144 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 53 00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:30,802 Wow, you really know your way around Home Warehouse. 54 00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:32,282 You found everything so quickly. 55 00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:33,805 Everything except you. 56 00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:36,678 Where the hell did you disappear to for so long? 57 00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:38,332 Sorry. Any time I see a plant section, 58 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:41,291 I like to pretend that I'm lost in the jungle. 59 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:45,077 Hey, guys. Oh, nice. 60 00:02:45,121 --> 00:02:46,470 Dave, I see you finally talked my dad 61 00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,298 into building that catwalk. 62 00:02:48,342 --> 00:02:50,170 Wrong. 63 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:53,173 I'm helping Dave build a tree house for Grover, 64 00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:55,523 just like the one I built for you and Malcolm. 65 00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:57,133 Oh, really? That's fantastic. 66 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,396 Yeah, you know, just thinking about it brings back 67 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:03,008 a lot of happy memories of you boys playing in yours. 68 00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:04,923 Yeah, me too, Dad. [chuckles] 69 00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:08,710 Man, see, that is exactly the kind of memories 70 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:10,233 that I want to have with Grover. 71 00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:12,061 Aw, man, well, you won't if you let my dad build it, 72 00:03:12,104 --> 00:03:14,019 because Grover will be dead. 73 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:18,023 W-What are you talking about? 74 00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:19,199 Trust me, man, the one that my dad 75 00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:20,591 built for us was a nightmare. 76 00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,027 It had a hole in the floor, 77 00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:23,986 splinters everywhere, nails poking out. 78 00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:26,336 It was like playing inside a knife drawer. 79 00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:27,903 [stammers] 80 00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:29,513 I mean, what am I supposed to do? 81 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:32,299 I mean, your dad is so excited, I can't ask him to stop now. 82 00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:34,388 Well, in that case, the only thing you should do 83 00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:38,174 is use this saw to cut down your tree. 84 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,872 No, wait. You know what? No. Marty, you're an engineer. 85 00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:44,398 Look, you can help us build it and make sure that it's safe. 86 00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:47,270 Dude, are you kidding me? If my dad finds out you asked me 87 00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,229 to supervise his work, he'll be furious. 88 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:50,708 Well, then, he doesn't need to know. 89 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:53,407 Just swing by and make a few casual suggestions. 90 00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:55,496 Then you're not stepping on his toes. 91 00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:58,673 And more importantly, Grover won't lose any of his. 92 00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:00,762 I don't know, man. 93 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:02,285 Good news, Dave! 94 00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,548 I figured out a way we can run a zip line 95 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:07,072 from the roof to the tree house. 96 00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:09,423 We just got to get around those power lines. 97 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:15,820 So, 1:00 okay for you? 98 00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,216 Yes... 99 00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:25,177 Hey, Tina. Here's the flour you asked for. 100 00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:26,788 I brought all I had because I didn't know 101 00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:29,965 how many cups were in a "crapload." 102 00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,923 Great. Did you also bring the butter? 103 00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,577 No, sorry, I was out. 104 00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:36,972 Alexa, add a crapload of butter to my shopping list. 105 00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:38,930 ALEXA: I've added a crapload of butter 106 00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,976 to your shopping list. 107 00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:44,022 Did you program her to say that? 108 00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:46,460 No. She just gets me. 109 00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,507 So, what's with all the cookies? 110 00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:53,162 [sighs] Well, like an idiot, I volunteered 111 00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:55,947 to make 400 of them for the church bake sale. 112 00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:58,210 400? That's crazy.Mm. 113 00:04:58,254 --> 00:05:00,996 I know, but Sister Thompson made 300 last year, 114 00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:03,303 and I thought embarrassing that stuck-up old hag 115 00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,392 would be the Christian thing to do. 116 00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:07,002 [laughs] 117 00:05:07,045 --> 00:05:08,482 Well, if you need some help, 118 00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:10,614 I'd be happy to make some for you. 119 00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:12,529 Oh, really? Sure. 120 00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:14,009 I love to bake. 121 00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,489 You know, when Grover was little, I used to... 122 00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:17,360 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Less chatter, more batter. 123 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,014 Okay. 124 00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:23,758 [chuckles] 125 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:27,370 What do you say, Dave? You looking level on your side? 126 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,329 Not really. 127 00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:32,332 Ah, don't beat yourself up. Mine isn't, either. 128 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:33,463 [chuckles] 129 00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,073 Hey, guys. 130 00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,988 Oh, look who's here. 131 00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:39,382 It's Marty, showing up completely on his own. 132 00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:42,820 Right on time, but totally unplanned. 133 00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:45,475 Yeah, I just figured I'd drop by and see how you guys were doing. 134 00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:48,826 Oh, great. We're halfway done with the floor. 135 00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:51,089 Yeah, uh, that's right, uh... 136 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,657 I got to levelwith you, Marty, I can 137 00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:58,532 not evenbelieve how well it's going. 138 00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,664 Well, actually, from where I'm standing, 139 00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:02,666 i-it looks a little slanted. 140 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:06,017 Oh. Eh, maybe. 141 00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:07,279 But trust me, it'll look straight 142 00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,151 when it's 12 feet in the air. 143 00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:11,240 So-so, when you get it up there, 144 00:06:11,283 --> 00:06:13,024 what are you gonna use to support it? Is-- 145 00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:15,200 You gonna use braces or a cantilever system? 146 00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:17,551 Oh, a cantilever system. You know what's crazy? 147 00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:21,032 Grover was just asking for one of those. 148 00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:22,599 No, man, don't worry about that stuff. 149 00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:24,862 I got something way sturdier in mind. 150 00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:26,603 Oh. W-What? 151 00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:28,388 I'm gonna nail it to that branch 152 00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,302 and then I'm-a tie a bungee cord and run it 153 00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:33,480 all the way over to that telephone pole. 154 00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:37,527 Yeah, I got to say, Dad, from an engineering standpoint, 155 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,703 that doesn't sound super safe to me. 156 00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:41,531 You're probably right. 157 00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,228 Two bungee cords it is. 158 00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,535 Yeah, uh, I don't know, Calvin. 159 00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:48,538 I-I think Marty is making some pretty good points. 160 00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:50,105 Yeah, speaking of points, 161 00:06:50,148 --> 00:06:53,238 maybe we should hammer down some of these exposed nails. 162 00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:55,066 What are you talking about? 163 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:56,894 That's a built-in security system 164 00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:59,070 to keep the squirrels out. 165 00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:01,333 I don't know, Calvin, uh, 166 00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:04,119 I think I'm leaning towards Marty's suggestion. 167 00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:06,469 It feels a little bit less tetanusy. 168 00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:09,603 All right, fine, we'll hammer in the nails. 169 00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:11,648 Good. Y-You know, 170 00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:13,476 the squirrels probably won't even be a problem. 171 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,913 I know. 'Cause I'm-a put barbed wire 172 00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:18,481 all around this thing instead. 173 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,222 Good idea, fellas. 174 00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:27,969 Alexa, set cookie timer for 12 minutes. 175 00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:30,798 ALEXA: Cookie timer set for 12 minutes. 176 00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:33,104 Girl, you are such a big help. 177 00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:37,282 Now, if you could talk trash and drink wine, we could hang. 178 00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:39,807 Okay, here you go. 179 00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:42,070 100 vegan carob chip cookies. 180 00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:43,898 What? [laughs] I'm kidding. 181 00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,769 These are so unhealthy, 182 00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:49,294 there's a little heart attack in each one. 183 00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:53,342 Hey, Mom, did you hear the bad news about Mr. Pickett? 184 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:55,475 Oh, he fell down the stairs and-- Oh! 185 00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,215 Cookies. 186 00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:00,349 Mmm. 187 00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:01,785 Oh, my God. [laughs] 188 00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:04,745 Mom, these are the best cookies you ever made. 189 00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,225 Excuse me? 190 00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:09,227 I'm serious, Ma. 191 00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,664 I don't know what you did different, 192 00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:13,144 but these right here put all your other cookies 193 00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:14,276 to shame. 194 00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:16,104 [laughs] Mmm. 195 00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:18,976 Actually, I baked that batch. 196 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,239 [clears throat] You say what now? 197 00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:27,681 Those are hers. 198 00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,424 You know what? [coughs] 199 00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:34,209 I spoke way too soon. 200 00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:35,993 Let me go ahead and try one of yours. 201 00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:40,171 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 202 00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,347 You see? I was wrong. 203 00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:44,654 I was wrong. These are way better. 204 00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,743 [laughs] 205 00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:48,528 Still Gemma's. 206 00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:53,620 You know what? 207 00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:56,448 Let me try one of these right...Just get out of here! 208 00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:00,017 [thudding] 209 00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:02,193 [laughs] Look at that floor. 210 00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:03,847 Solid as a rock. 211 00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:06,502 I told you that dead branch was strong enough to hold it. 212 00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:08,896 Yeah, uh, 213 00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:10,245 lucky for us you spotted it 214 00:09:10,288 --> 00:09:13,857 so very, very high up in the tree. 215 00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:16,686 Oh, know what we should do, 216 00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:19,080 is get a steel pipe and put it on the roof 217 00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:21,256 so Grover can fly a pirate flag. 218 00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,475 Oh, that's a great idea. 219 00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,042 No kid's wooden fort is complete 220 00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:27,567 without a lightning rod attached to it. 221 00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:30,874 Now, you see a problem, I see free electricity. 222 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,397 Yeah... 223 00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:34,965 You know, though, maybe we skip the flagpole. 224 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:37,707 Yeah, Grover's not into pirates anymore anyway. 225 00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:39,100 Oh, that's too bad. 226 00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:40,841 I see at least three planks up there 227 00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:42,799 just begging to be walked off. 228 00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:46,368 What's your deal, Marty? 229 00:09:46,411 --> 00:09:48,500 Why you keep criticizing everything I do? 230 00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:50,894 Well, i-it's not about you, Dad. I'm just looking out for Grover. 231 00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:53,593 You know what? I-I like the sound of that. 232 00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:55,507 You know, Grover has very delicate bones. 233 00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:59,163 He's... he's basically like a little baby bird. 234 00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:02,819 Eh, the only baby around here is Marty. 235 00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:05,474 "Wah, the floor is uneven." 236 00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:08,564 "Wah, lightning's bad for you." 237 00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:11,436 I'm just trying to make it safe. 238 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:14,614 No, what you're doing is trying to make it boring. 239 00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:17,051 Half the fun of a tree house is taking some risk. 240 00:10:17,094 --> 00:10:19,096 A little sense of adventure. 241 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:21,272 When did you become so soft? 242 00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,666 I'm not soft, Dad. 243 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,494 I'm just trying to stop this tree house from being 244 00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:27,670 an even bigger disaster than the one you built us. 245 00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,064 What are you talking about? You loved that tree house. 246 00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:32,936 No, man, I hated it. That thing was way too dangerous. 247 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:36,200 Name one thing that was dangerous about it. 248 00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:39,639 Dad, you built it over a barbecue pit. 249 00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,165 It's called heated floors. 250 00:10:45,383 --> 00:10:47,472 G-Guys, please stop arguing. 251 00:10:47,516 --> 00:10:49,431 Look, I'm not arguing, I'm just realizing 252 00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,476 how ungrateful my son is. 253 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,304 Yeah, and I'm just realizing how reckless 254 00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:55,089 and irresponsible my dad is. 255 00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:57,308 You know what, Marty, what-what are you even doing here? 256 00:10:57,352 --> 00:10:59,049 Nobody invited you. Right, Dave? 257 00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:03,271 Yeah, totally uninvited, but at the same time, very welcome. 258 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:08,711 Yeah, fine, you guys don't want my help, I'm out of here. 259 00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,844 I was just trying to keep Grover safe. 260 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:13,237 Well, you don't have to worry about that, 261 00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:14,761 because when it comes to tree houses, 262 00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,719 nobody builds 'em better than me. 263 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,591 Oh! 264 00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:22,507 Boom. There's your rope swing right there. 265 00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:31,560 [knock on door] 266 00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:37,609 Hey, Dave, what's up? 267 00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,611 And if you say the tree house, I will be shocked. 268 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:43,659 I came over to apologize for yesterday. 269 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,269 The last thing I wanted was to cause 270 00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:47,228 a fight between you and your dad. 271 00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:48,577 I mean, you didn't start that fight. 272 00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,579 He did when he called me soft. 273 00:11:50,622 --> 00:11:53,060 It's messed up.Yeah, I totally get it. 274 00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:56,759 I'd hate it if Calvin ever thought I were soft. 275 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,852 But come on, Marty, I need you to come back. 276 00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:04,158 For Grover's sake. 277 00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:05,463 How bad is it? 278 00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:08,292 It is a nightmare. He's over there right now 279 00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:09,641 trying to get a diving board 280 00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:11,643 to reach the neighbors' swimming pool. 281 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,735 Dave, I tried to help, man. You saw what happened. 282 00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:19,347 I know, and I should have backed you up, but... 283 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:20,740 but it's hard. 284 00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,306 Your dad's heart is in the right place, 285 00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:25,875 even though I'm pretty sure his support beams are not. 286 00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,009 Well, 287 00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:30,401 if you want me to come back, 288 00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:32,534 you're gonna have to make my dad do things my way. 289 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:34,144 Absolutely. Look, Marty, 290 00:12:34,188 --> 00:12:36,756 from now on, you are in charge, no matter what. 291 00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,845 Okay, good. But we better get over there quick 292 00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:40,803 because the neighbors drained that pool two years ago. 293 00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,805 Oh... 294 00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:49,594 Hey. Okay for me to come in? 295 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,074 Of course, Gemma, why wouldn't it be? 296 00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:53,642 I don't know, I was worried you might still be 297 00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:56,471 upset about that whole cookie thing yesterday. 298 00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:59,343 Ah, please, they're just silly cookies 299 00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:01,781 that I've baked for Malcolm his whole life, 300 00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:06,046 ever since I squeezed his sorry ass out of my damn body. 301 00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:07,612 I know, I'm sorry. 302 00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:09,789 No, no, it's not your fault. 303 00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:12,139 Malcolm was right, your cookies were delicious. 304 00:13:12,182 --> 00:13:13,401 Thanks. 305 00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:15,620 You're welcome. And besides, 306 00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,797 obviously it was just a fluke. 307 00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:21,801 What do you mean, a fluke? 308 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,412 Oh, I'm sorry, Gemma, I didn't mean it like that. 309 00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:25,848 I'm just saying, everyone knows that 310 00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:28,329 my cookies eat yours for breakfast. 311 00:13:30,418 --> 00:13:32,376 Well, everyone might know, 312 00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:34,857 but clearly Malcolm doesn't. 313 00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:41,081 Okay, okay. 314 00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:44,258 Well, it sounds like there's only one way to settle this. 315 00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:45,520 You talking bake-off? 316 00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:48,479 Oh, you know it. Name your cookie. 317 00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:52,092 Shortbread? Snickerdoodle? 318 00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:56,444 If we're gonna do it, let's go all the way. 319 00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:58,228 You talking oatmeal? 320 00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:02,667 With raisins. 321 00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:06,671 Is there any other way? 322 00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:09,196 Actually, sometimes they use chocolate chips. 323 00:14:09,239 --> 00:14:11,546 Oh, that sounds yummy. Let's do that instead. Okay. 324 00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:18,466 Hey, Dad. 325 00:14:18,509 --> 00:14:22,992 Oh, look who's back, the building inspector. 326 00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:25,995 Actually, Calvin, I asked Marty to come back. 327 00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:27,388 Why would you do that? 328 00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,651 Look, I know you're just trying to make this place 329 00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:32,872 as much fun as possible for Grover, but... 330 00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:36,440 it would be nice if he were actually alive to enjoy it. 331 00:14:36,484 --> 00:14:39,922 Seriously? You're taking his side? 332 00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,924 Look, Calvin, there are no sides. 333 00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:43,578 Yeah, like this place when somebody sneezes 334 00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:45,058 and the walls fall down. 335 00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:47,408 Know what? Fine. 336 00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,018 If neither of you think that I can do this, 337 00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:49,976 then I'm out of here. 338 00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:54,023 But I'm taking my nail with me. 339 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:57,026 [loud creaking] 340 00:14:57,070 --> 00:14:58,375 What was that? 341 00:14:58,419 --> 00:15:00,551 Oh, relax. It's just the floor 342 00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:01,901 settling onto the tree. 343 00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:04,033 Now it's even more rock-solid. 344 00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:06,557 [loud cracking] 345 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:12,041 M-Maybe I should put this nail back where it, where it was. 346 00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:14,087 [all shout] 347 00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:18,047 Okay. 348 00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,048 I got to admit, 349 00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:20,876 now the floor is a little slanted. 350 00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:26,447 [knocking] 351 00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:28,928 Whoa. [clears throat] 352 00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:32,018 Hey, ladies...Enough small talk. 353 00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:34,107 We need you to settle a bet.Mm-hmm. 354 00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:36,413 Uh, what bet? 355 00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:38,415 We both baked one of these cookies. 356 00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:39,764 All you have to do is taste them 357 00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:41,636 and tell us which one you like better. 358 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:44,160 And God help you if you get it wrong. 359 00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:46,771 You know, actually, I am kind of busy right now. 360 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,948 But you know who loves cookies? 361 00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,427 Marty. I'm gonna go find him. 362 00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:52,603 Nice try, Malcolm. Yeah. 363 00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:55,128 Now be a man and eat your milk and cookies! 364 00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:59,959 All right, fine. 365 00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,921 Mmm. 366 00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:13,494 So, which is better? 367 00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:14,974 Well... 368 00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:17,933 I hate to disappoint either of you, but... 369 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,457 it's a tie-- everybody wins! 370 00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:22,329 Malcolm! 371 00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:24,157 All right, Ma. 372 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,028 If I had to choose, 373 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,639 I pick this one. 374 00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:31,207 Boom! Hey! 375 00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:35,168 Somebody call Keebler and tell 'em there's a new elf in town! 376 00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:42,175 Well, congratulations. 377 00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:45,221 I guess you were right, my cookies were just a fluke. 378 00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:47,963 I'm sorry, Gemma, I never should've said that. 379 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,661 I just overreacted because I'm Malcolm's mom. 380 00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:52,576 And, you know, every mama wants 381 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,796 her baby to like her cookies best. 382 00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:58,408 I get it, and I'm glad he picked yours. 383 00:16:58,452 --> 00:16:59,888 Thank you. 384 00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:01,411 And thank you, Malcolm. 385 00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:03,979 Now I'm gonna go put your baby pictures back up. 386 00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:10,333 Look, I'm sorry, Gemma. Your cookie was good, too. 387 00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:13,162 It just had a bit of, um, a strange aftertaste. 388 00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:16,600 I hope so. I put in a crapload of pickle juice. 389 00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:19,690 Pickle juice? Why would you put pickle juice 390 00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:21,170 in an oatmeal cookie? 391 00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:23,042 Because I'm a mama, too. 392 00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:25,348 Like your mom said, we all want our babies 393 00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:27,394 to like our cookies best. 394 00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:28,525 [chuckles] 395 00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:30,223 You're a good friend, Gemma. 396 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:33,139 Not that good. At first, I was going to put it in her cookie. 397 00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:37,273 [tree house creaking] 398 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:41,190 Okay, nobody move or this thing is gonna collapse. 399 00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:42,887 All right, now I know how this looks, but I built 400 00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:44,411 this thing for a couple of little kids. 401 00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:46,108 Not three grown men. 402 00:17:46,935 --> 00:17:48,545 That being said, I probably could've used 403 00:17:48,589 --> 00:17:50,025 a few more bungee cords. 404 00:17:50,852 --> 00:17:53,376 Okay, so what do we do now? 405 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:56,205 And if you're gonna say pee your pants, well... 406 00:17:56,249 --> 00:17:57,380 mission accomplished. 407 00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,339 Well, Marty, you're an engineer. 408 00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:01,950 If anybody can figure a way to get us out of here, it's you. 409 00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:05,127 Okay, okay, okay, uh... all right, I-I think I got it. 410 00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:07,956 Um, if-if we coordinate our movements 411 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:10,263 and redistribute our body weight, that should 412 00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:12,743 counterbalance the floor until we can each get out. 413 00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:15,181 Great idea. And may I say, 414 00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,139 as a professional conflict mediator, 415 00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:19,924 an excellent team-building exercise. 416 00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:23,058 You know... Okay, all right. 417 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,320 You might want to hurry this thing up. 418 00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:25,713 This tree is getting sick of Dave, too. 419 00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:27,889 Okay... okay, Dave? 420 00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:30,370 You're closest to the door. I'm gonna slide two steps 421 00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:32,589 to the left, Dad, you take two steps to the right. 422 00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,504 That should balance the floor. 423 00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,071 Ready? 424 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,682 Go! 425 00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,815 All right. 426 00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:43,339 Okay, all right, Dave, you climb out. 427 00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:46,037 Dad, as soon as he does, you take another step 428 00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:48,214 to the left. I'm gonna take two steps back. 429 00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:51,782 Oh, so this is like the Electric Slide meets the Cupid Shuffle. 430 00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,784 No, Dad, Dad, no! 431 00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:55,395 Oh, my God. [stammers] 432 00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:56,874 Oh, oh, ooh! 433 00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:59,660 That-That-That's on me right there. 434 00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,402 Okay, Dave, go! 435 00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:03,794 Okay. 436 00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:06,057 And for the record, there are 437 00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:08,059 no two men that I'd rather be trapped in a tree house 438 00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:10,323 with than the two of you!Get out of here! 439 00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:16,503 Okay, Dad. 440 00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:17,808 It's your turn. 441 00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:19,070 No, son, you go. 442 00:19:19,114 --> 00:19:20,768 All right, this is my fault. 443 00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,204 If I had listened to your suggestions, 444 00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,467 we wouldn't be here in the first place. 445 00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,034 I just got carried away. 446 00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:29,298 It's okay, man. You were just trying to make it fun. 447 00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:31,431 The same way you did when you built ours. 448 00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:32,736 Thanks. 449 00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,782 And I shouldn't have called you soft, 450 00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:36,392 because you're not. 451 00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:38,220 You mean that? 452 00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:39,917 Yeah. I mean, 453 00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:41,702 the way you kept your cool and figured out 454 00:19:41,745 --> 00:19:43,617 a way to get us out of here, 455 00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,271 there's nothing soft about that. 456 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:47,577 Thanks, Dad. 457 00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:49,797 Bring it in, son. 458 00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:52,452 All right, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay. 459 00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:54,715 Bring it out, bring it out! 460 00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:02,853 Okay, okay, Dad, I'm going. 461 00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:04,725 I'll see you on the ground. 462 00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:06,944 One way or the other. 463 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:11,297 [muttering] 464 00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,606 Damn. 465 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:19,348 Why did I let Dave go first? 466 00:20:26,703 --> 00:20:29,445 You were right, this is a much better idea than the one I had. 467 00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,534 True. Although I would've loved to see my dad try 468 00:20:31,578 --> 00:20:33,971 to Mary Poppins his way down with your beach umbrella. 469 00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:36,322 Calvin, you okay up there? 470 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:38,976 Yeah, but I'm running out of time! 471 00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,761 When's that umbrella coming? 472 00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:42,415 Okay... change of plans. 473 00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,286 We've got some mattresses for you to land on! 474 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:46,593 [tree house crackling, rumbling] 475 00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:49,465 Dad, you got to jump now! 476 00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:52,381 A squirrel just did and I think he knows something. 477 00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:57,517 All right, here I come! 478 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,260 Just remember, you're the Black Bruce Willis. 479 00:21:02,522 --> 00:21:05,264 Yippee ki-yay, mother brother! 480 00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:15,012 Captioning sponsored by CBS 481 00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:16,362 and TOYOTA. 482 00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:22,019 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 35248

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