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1
00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:14,623
Is it my turn?
2
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:16,277
No, we're still waiting
for Calvin to play.
3
00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:18,322
Okay, uh, stop rushing me.
4
00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:21,499
Dave took like ten minutes
to put down the word "cat."
5
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:24,154
Well, I was one letter away
from "catnip,"
6
00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:26,330
but all I had
was this blank tile.
7
00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:30,334
Damn it!
8
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:32,989
Okay, all right, here we go.
9
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,600
Here we go right here. F-I...
10
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:39,039
N-N-A.
11
00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:41,998
Boom. Triple word score.
12
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:44,740
[laughs]"Finna"?
13
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,220
What's "finna"?
14
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,656
You know, as in,
15
00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:50,572
"I'm finna get
38 points for that word."
16
00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:52,835
[mutters softly]
17
00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:56,143
I'm pretty sure "finna"
isn't in the dictionary.
18
00:00:58,319 --> 00:00:59,842
Well, Black people
say it all the time,
19
00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:02,279
so if it's not,
your dictionary's racist.
20
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,281
Boom, triple word score.
21
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:08,546
Ah...
22
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,070
What's wrong?
23
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,723
I'm having some problems
with my wrist lately.
24
00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:13,290
I think I might
have carpal tunnel.
25
00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:15,988
Damn it. I could've
played "carpal," too.
26
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:20,602
Dave, if your wrist hurts,
you should see my doctor.
27
00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:22,256
Dr. Richards is like family.
28
00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:25,128
Calvin, Dr. Richards
died nine years ago.
29
00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:27,435
He did?
30
00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:30,655
Well, let that be a lesson.
Don't let family drift apart.
31
00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:32,918
Seriously, Calvin?
32
00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:34,833
You haven't seen a
doctor in nine years?
33
00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:36,183
TINA:
No. I've been
begging him
34
00:01:36,313 --> 00:01:37,967
to get a physical
for the longest time,
35
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,142
but he just won't go.
36
00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:40,578
That's because I don't need to.
37
00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:42,145
Look, I'm so healthy,
38
00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:45,279
I already outlived my doctor
by nine years.
39
00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:48,717
Calvin, you should
really listen to Tina.
40
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,327
You know,
your health is important.
41
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:53,113
If I were you, I would
definitely be finna to go.
42
00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:58,727
Gemma, you're right.
It's not a word.
43
00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:02,426
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
44
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:03,862
♪ Welcome to the hood.
45
00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:10,217
Oh, hey, Calvin.Hey, Dave.
46
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:11,696
What do you got there?
47
00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:13,524
Oh, just some of my old
juggling clubs.
48
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:16,614
You know, I would say I didn't
know you juggled, but deep down,
49
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:19,313
I think I did.
50
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:20,575
Well, I haven't done it
in years,
51
00:02:20,705 --> 00:02:22,316
so I might be a little rusty.
52
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,056
But I figured, hey, what's
the worst that could happen?
53
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:26,711
I don't know,
but whatever it is,
54
00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:29,192
I am definitely
getting it on video.
55
00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:31,238
Just got to do one last thing.
56
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:33,892
Whoa. Whoa,
you're setting them on fire?
57
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:35,764
I thought you said
you hadn't juggled in years.
58
00:02:35,894 --> 00:02:37,679
That's crazy.
59
00:02:37,809 --> 00:02:39,159
Well, maybe,
but not half as crazy
60
00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:40,986
as skipping the doctor
for nine years.
61
00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:44,294
So I guess you could say
we're both playing with fire.
62
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:47,950
Oh, okay.
So that's what this is about.
63
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,257
You know what? I take it back.
64
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:52,737
Go ahead.
Roast your marshmallows.
65
00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:55,349
Okay.
66
00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:57,089
Calvin, I'm serious.
67
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,961
You got to go
to the doctor every year.
68
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,354
It's really important.
69
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:02,138
Dave, I'm fine.
70
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,661
I treat my body like a temple.
71
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:05,924
It's probably why
so many people worship me.
72
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:09,450
Okay, I guess Tina was right.
You won't listen to reason.
73
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,278
So it looks like
I'm gonna have to try
74
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:12,931
something else
to get you to do it.
75
00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:15,064
What?
Embarrass you.
76
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,848
If you don't go to the doctor,
I'm gonna make a T-shirt
77
00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:18,676
that says
"Calvin is my best friend,"
78
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,635
and I'm gonna wear it
wherever we go.
79
00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:22,811
Eh, you wouldn't.I already did.
80
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:27,294
How'd you get that made so fast?
81
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,296
You just found out
about this last night.
82
00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:31,080
Actually, I've had it
for a while.
83
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,561
I had it made
for our upcoming friendiversary.
84
00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:35,998
Just picture it, Calvin.
85
00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:38,000
You're in the barber shop
holding court,
86
00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:40,437
I stroll in wearing this.
87
00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:44,267
So what? I've been the big dog
around here a long time.
88
00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:47,052
It'll take more than
a T-shirt to bring me down.
89
00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:49,968
I figured you'd say that, which
is why I made it a tank top.
90
00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:52,884
Okay, you know what?
Fine.
91
00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:55,322
I'll go.
92
00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:56,932
But if Dr. Richards
wasn't already dead,
93
00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,281
this would've killed him.
94
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:02,894
Hey, here you go, bro.
95
00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:05,897
[laughs]Oh, man, it doesn't get
any better than this.
96
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,204
Two grown men,
making it on our own,
97
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:10,598
living our independent lives.
98
00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:13,340
Marty, we live 60 feet
from Mom and Pop's house.
99
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,211
Exactly.
100
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,169
It's far enough away
to be independent
101
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,128
but close enough
to steal their Wi-Fi.
102
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,303
[knocking on door]
103
00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:21,609
See? Okay.
I see. Yeah.
104
00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:23,263
Yo.
105
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:24,960
Hey, little man.MARTY: Hey.
106
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,396
What's up? Come on in.
107
00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:28,311
We're having career day
at my school.
108
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:32,272
Since my dad came last year
and my mom's the principal,
109
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:35,753
and you have such an awesome job
at JPL, I thought I'd ask you.
110
00:04:35,884 --> 00:04:38,582
Well, your friendly
neighborhood rocket scientist
111
00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:41,281
gladly accepts your invitation.
112
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:43,848
Oh, I was actually
talking to Malcolm.
113
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:46,416
[laughs]
What?
114
00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:48,200
But Malcolm's
just a security guard.
115
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:50,899
Uh, yeah, a security guard
who just watched you
116
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:53,293
blow up on takeoff.What...?
117
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:55,947
Yeah, but that,
that makes no sense.
118
00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:57,340
Why would you want him
instead of me?
119
00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:59,864
Because security guards
are cool.
120
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:02,824
They've got uniforms
and handcuffs,
121
00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:05,305
and he takes down
bad guys, right?
122
00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:07,307
Well, you know, uh,
123
00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:09,787
I do what I got to do.
124
00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:12,486
Yeah, and what you got to do
is check I.D.'s
125
00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:14,052
and let the pizza guy
up the elevator.
126
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:16,490
[chuckles]
And just for that, from now on,
127
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:19,623
the only lunch
I'm letting up is salad.[gasps]
128
00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:22,322
Whoa, guys, I didn't mean
to start a fight.
129
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,498
Look, Marty, if you want to,
you can come, too.
130
00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:25,760
Yes! [laughs]
131
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,544
I'm gonna get started right now.
132
00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:30,547
You guys are gonna see just
how fun math and science can be!
133
00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,723
Great.
134
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:37,772
If he gets too boring,
you do what you got to do.
135
00:05:42,037 --> 00:05:45,257
Well, I hope he has better news
for me than he had for you.
136
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,609
Okay, Mr. Butler,
137
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:51,699
I have the results from
your physical, and...
138
00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:53,178
You know what? I'm fine.
139
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:55,267
I don't care
what your stupid test says.
140
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,574
Actually, they say
you're in amazing health.
141
00:05:57,705 --> 00:06:01,230
Oh, well, tests don't lie.
142
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,712
I told you he's a good doctor.
You should've listened to him.
143
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:07,671
Your cholesterol is good,
your blood pressure is low--
144
00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:09,325
all your numbers look great.
145
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:11,066
Huh. Terrific.
146
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,198
Now all we've got to do is
schedule your colonoscopy.
147
00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:15,505
Uh, say what, now?
148
00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:18,073
Your colonoscopy?
When it comes to colon cancer,
149
00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:20,031
early detection
can save your life.
150
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:22,382
It's standard procedure
for anyone over 45.
151
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,384
Well, great, so there's no rush.
152
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,255
I plan on being over 45
153
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,345
the rest of my life.
154
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:32,392
Look, I know the idea makes
a lot of men uncomfortable,
155
00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:34,742
but trust me,
it's not a big deal.
156
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,961
First, you'll be put to sleep.
157
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:41,357
Then we insert a small camera
into the rectum.
158
00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:43,794
From there, it travels
159
00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:45,579
through your large intestine,
160
00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:47,363
then it zigs and it zags
161
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:50,540
deeper and deeper
all the way
162
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,499
up here into your
small intestine,
163
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,152
taking pictures along the way.
164
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,112
Then we just
reel it back in, and...
165
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:59,593
[pops]
...out pops the camera.
166
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:02,726
Well, that all
sounds delightful,
167
00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:04,989
but, um... [pops]
168
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,556
that's a hard pass.
169
00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:10,865
[sighs]
Hey, man.
170
00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,606
Oh, hey, Malcolm.
171
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,608
Whoa, what is under there?
172
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:16,044
Uh, Marty?
173
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:17,698
If it's another Lego Death Star,
174
00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:19,700
you don't need to hide it
from me, man.
175
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,832
I already know you're a dork.
176
00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:25,053
For your information, that
was not the Death Star.
177
00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:26,663
That was the planet Tatooine.
178
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,491
Okay? So who's the dork now?
179
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,711
Right, okay, so, uh,
180
00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:32,234
what is it?
181
00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:33,931
Uh, just a little
something to ensure
182
00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:35,411
that I win career day.
183
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:36,891
"Win career day"?Mm-hmm.
184
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,762
I didn't realize
it was a competition.
185
00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:41,156
Oh, it won't be,
because I have this.
186
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:45,465
Marty, I don't want to know
187
00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:47,292
what you do
with that robot hand,
188
00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:49,251
and I'm sure
the kids won't, either.
189
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:51,514
Malcolm, meet Elliot,
190
00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:53,473
a fully articulated bionic
limb designed to make
191
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:56,084
exterior repairs to the
International Space Station.
192
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,999
He also gives
pretty sweet fist bumps.
193
00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:00,915
[exhales sharply, laughs]
194
00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:03,613
[laughs]
All right.
195
00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:05,746
That is pretty impressive.I know, right?
196
00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:08,531
Yeah, but I'm not worried
about it, because I have this.
197
00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:09,924
A stun gun?
198
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:12,187
Please. Elliot can crush steel
199
00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:14,885
and survive temperatures
down to 500 degrees below zero.
200
00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,713
How can a stun gun compete?
201
00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,019
Maybe like this.
202
00:08:18,976 --> 00:08:22,066
[shouts]
Malcolm, are you crazy?
203
00:08:22,197 --> 00:08:24,068
Do you know how long
this is gonna take me to fix?
204
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:25,722
Hopefully not too long,
because I would love
205
00:08:25,853 --> 00:08:27,811
to do that again
in front of the kids.
206
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:30,118
[laughs]
207
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,256
Oh, hey, babe.
208
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:41,216
So, what did the doctor say?
209
00:08:41,346 --> 00:08:43,523
Exactly what I
told you he would.
210
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,655
I'm in perfect health.
211
00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:47,527
You know, I hate to say it,
but, uh,
212
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:50,181
I think I'm gonna
outlive this one, too.
213
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:52,096
Well, that is such a relief.
214
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,707
Did he say anything else?
215
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:57,058
Uh, no, uh, not that I recall.
216
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:59,408
I am so happy to hear that.
217
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,192
You know what? And to celebrate,
218
00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:03,543
I've got something
very special planned for you.
219
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,545
Okay. Uh, what's that?
220
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:07,764
I scheduled your colonoscopy.
221
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,072
Uh, s-say what, now?
222
00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:13,596
The doctor's office called.
223
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:15,032
How could you leave there
224
00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:16,643
without scheduling
an appointment?
225
00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:18,383
Come on, Tina.
The doctor said I was healthy.
226
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:19,776
Isn't that good enough?
227
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,735
No, Calvin,
that is not good enough.
228
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,606
You know, I looked it up online.
229
00:09:23,737 --> 00:09:28,393
Do you know that one in every
48 men will get colon cancer?
230
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:30,657
And that number
is even worse for Black men.
231
00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:32,789
Well, you know what's worse
for this Black man?
232
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,271
Is having someone turn
my ass into a photo booth.
233
00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:40,797
Calvin, this is nonnegotiable.
234
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,799
You're too important to me.
235
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:46,107
So here.
236
00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:49,327
What's that?
237
00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:50,764
It's your dinner for tonight.
238
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,679
It's a stimulant laxative
that will
239
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:54,376
flush out your system.
240
00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:55,812
Come on, Tina. Quit playing.
241
00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,466
I don't want that stuff
inside my body.
242
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,163
Oh, don't worry, baby.
243
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,165
It won't be for long.
244
00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:10,174
Morning, babe. How you feeling?
245
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:12,350
Terrible.
That laxative had me running
246
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:14,352
to the bathroom all night.
247
00:10:14,483 --> 00:10:16,528
Aw, poor baby. I would hug you,
248
00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:19,444
but squeezing you right now
might not be a good idea.
249
00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:22,883
Don't worry, Tina.
There's nothing left.
250
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:25,712
I haven't felt this empty
since N.W.A broke up.
251
00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:29,498
W-Well, wait.
What are you doing sitting down?
252
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,195
You got to go get dressed
for your appointment.
253
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:34,329
You know, I was thinking
about rescheduling.
254
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:37,375
We got a big shipment
coming into the shop today.
255
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:39,900
Calvin, it's a box
of air fresheners.
256
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:42,598
I know.
I just need to be there
257
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,469
to make sure Hector
doesn't steal 'em
258
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,210
like he does the paper towels.
259
00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:49,083
Calvin, I can take care
of the shop.
260
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:51,041
[knock on door]
261
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:54,088
Oh, hold on.
If you're at the shop
262
00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:56,003
and the doctor says
I can't drive myself,
263
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,308
who's taking me?
264
00:10:57,439 --> 00:11:00,398
Oh, hey, buddy.
Ready to go?
265
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:05,273
Seriously? Dave's taking me
to my colonoscopy?
266
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:07,928
Why not? You always said
he was a pain in the ass.
267
00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:10,670
Just think of him as
the pregame warm-up.
268
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,371
Hey, Gemma.
269
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:17,894
Hey, Malcolm.
Where's Marty?
270
00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:20,810
I thought he was coming, too.Uh, I don't know.
271
00:11:20,941 --> 00:11:22,464
Maybe we should check
the lockers.
272
00:11:22,594 --> 00:11:25,249
He has a long history
of getting stuffed in 'em.
273
00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:29,297
Okay, class, let's get started.
274
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,821
I just stopped by because
Grover's special guest
275
00:11:31,952 --> 00:11:34,737
for career day is
a close friend of mine.
276
00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:39,307
In fact, he's so close,
he's actually my neighbor!
277
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,660
Okay, take it away, Grover.
278
00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:47,794
I told her that wouldn't work.
279
00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:55,453
My career day guest
has the coolest job ever.
280
00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:59,283
I don't want to brag, but
he's pretty much a superhero,
281
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:02,852
and his name is
Malcolm Butler!
282
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,854
Well, thank you, G-man.
283
00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:07,291
I don'’t know if I would say
superhero, but then again,
284
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:10,120
that's exactly what
a superhero would say.
285
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:11,731
[chuckles]
286
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,733
Now, as a security guard,
287
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,778
my job is to keep people safe.
288
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,562
Which is why I always
make sure...
289
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:21,392
[loud fanfare playing]
290
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:24,265
♪
291
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,714
What's up, tiny Earthlings?
292
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:39,802
Are you kidding me?
293
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:42,500
This is so cool.
294
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:44,285
Guys, this is Marty.
295
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:48,855
He's, uh, uh,
what's-his-name's brother.
296
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:51,161
Sorry I'm late, guys.
It was hard to find parking...
297
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,773
for my spaceship. Oh!
298
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:59,561
Okay, it's in that
parking lot up there.
Okay.
299
00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:02,564
You know, I'm really glad
you decided to do this.
300
00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,348
After all, the
healthier you are,
301
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:06,089
the longer we get
to be friends.
302
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,526
Yeah. You know,
I thought about that, too,
303
00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:11,442
and then I decided
to do it anyway.
304
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,445
Good, we're here,
so pull in that space.
305
00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:16,752
Okay.
306
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:20,147
Wait a second, uh...
307
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:21,844
I don't see
a doctor's office.
308
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:24,325
All I see is a
Dave & Buster's.
309
00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:26,327
Because that's where
we're going, Dave.
310
00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:28,808
Happy friendiversary.
311
00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:34,248
Okay, Calvin, we are supposed
to be going to your colonoscopy,
312
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:36,816
not combining all the
innocent fun of childhood
313
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:38,861
with the alcoholic
fun of adulthood.
314
00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:42,169
I know, I know,
but a colonoscopy,
315
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:43,648
that's just about me.
316
00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:46,826
A friendiversary is about us.
317
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:49,393
[sighs heavily]
318
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:52,832
You have no idea how long
I've waited to hear those words.
319
00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:56,400
But no, Calvin, I won't do it.
320
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:57,880
Your health is too important.
321
00:13:58,011 --> 00:13:59,229
Oh, come on.
322
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,449
What could possibly
be more important
323
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:05,496
than spending a full day of
uninterrupted fun with your...
324
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:09,152
...BFF?
325
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,635
That is a dirty trick, Calvin.
326
00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:15,289
And what's worse is
you didn't tell me
327
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:17,030
so I could have worn mine.
328
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,076
Come on, Dave,
so what's it gonna be?
329
00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:21,773
We gonna do this or what?
330
00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:25,386
Calvin, I don't know.
331
00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:27,649
All right, okay,
how about this?
332
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:30,173
We play one game of Skee-Ball.
333
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:33,960
If you win, I go ahead
and get my colonoscopy.
334
00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:38,573
If I win, you treat
my recently evacuated colon
335
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,401
to hot wings and beer.
336
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,404
Okay, you know what, fine.
337
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:46,407
If that's the only way that I
can make you do it, then I'm in.
338
00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:48,322
Great. Come on, let's go.
339
00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:51,325
But FYI, that shirt would look
a lot cooler as a tank top.
340
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:58,898
Hey.
Well, there he is.
341
00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:02,292
The world's first
jackass-tronaut.
342
00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:04,338
Hey, don't be mad at me.
343
00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:06,949
It's not my fault the kids voted
to have a mural of me
344
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,908
painted on the handball court.
345
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,214
Well, congratulations, Marty.
346
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:14,217
You officially won career day
and made me look like a chump.
347
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,132
Oh, come on, man,
that's not what I meant to do.
348
00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:17,786
Well, what did you mean to do?
349
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,657
Malcolm, ever since
we were kids,
350
00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:22,225
you were always the cool one,
but I was the nerd.
351
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:23,966
The geek. The...
352
00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:25,968
whatever else Dad
used to call me.
353
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,884
Oh, you mean like poindexter
354
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:30,755
and brainiac.
355
00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:34,107
My favorite was
dork chocolate.
356
00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:36,326
It's hard to forget that one
357
00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:38,024
when he wrote it
on my birthday cake.
358
00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:41,288
I mean, I know
it might sound dumb,
359
00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:44,465
but I was really excited
to go back to school for a day
360
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:46,380
and be the cool guy I never was.
361
00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:47,772
Oh, come on, man,
you were cool.
362
00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:48,948
Oh, yeah, right.
363
00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:50,645
No, I'm serious, Marty.
364
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:53,039
I mean, I'm a really
confident dude,
365
00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:55,171
but I think I would have
felt ridiculous
366
00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:58,305
walking into that classroom
in a damn space suit.
367
00:15:58,435 --> 00:16:00,263
But not you.
368
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:01,786
You owned it.
369
00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:03,614
And if owning who you are
is not cool,
370
00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:06,313
then, little brother,
I don't know what is.
371
00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:08,750
It was pretty cool, right?Yeah.
372
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,099
And the lunch lady even gave me
her phone number.
373
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:11,492
[both laugh]
374
00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:13,711
You see, man, you should
keep that suit.
375
00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,409
A lunch lady today,
376
00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:17,672
maybe someone under 60 tomorrow.
377
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:21,458
I wish I could keep it.
378
00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:22,677
Too bad it's
a top secret prototype
379
00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:24,200
worth a million dollars.
380
00:16:24,331 --> 00:16:26,855
What? You snuck
a million-dollar space suit
381
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,596
out of a high-security facility
382
00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:29,989
to impress a bunch
of fourth-graders?
383
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:31,642
Are you crazy?!
384
00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:33,079
I don't know, but I'll tell you
what's crazier.
385
00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:34,645
You're gonna help me
sneak it back in.
386
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,604
[laughs]:
Uh-uh.
387
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:39,433
There's no way, man. Why would I
risk my job to do that?
388
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,304
Well, because I snuck it out
on your watch.
389
00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:44,786
Grab the suit. Let's go.Okay.
390
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,664
[bell rings]Yes!
391
00:16:53,795 --> 00:16:56,363
Another 30. You are definitely
getting your colonoscopy today.
392
00:16:58,104 --> 00:16:59,540
This isn't fair.
393
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:01,194
You didn't tell me
you were great at Skee-Ball.
394
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:02,891
That's right.
Because if I did,
395
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,414
you might have
picked Whac-A-Mole.
396
00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:06,112
It just makes me feel weird
397
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:09,463
smashing those cute
little guys over the head.
398
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:12,335
Well, I can still win this thing
399
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,207
if I get that hundred
in the corner.
400
00:17:14,337 --> 00:17:15,817
Please, Calvin,
nobody ever hits those.
401
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:17,340
You might as well give up now.
402
00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:18,472
Uh-uh.
403
00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:20,474
If I get this ball
in that hole,
404
00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:22,954
that means no one's
getting near mine.
405
00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:26,871
♪
406
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:43,105
[bell rings]Oh!
407
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,499
[laughing]
408
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:50,025
How the hell'd you do that?
409
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:51,809
Well, let's just say I was
410
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:54,073
literally fighting
to save my ass.
411
00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:02,255
Okay, you know what,
Calvin, fine, you win.
412
00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:04,953
But I don't...
I don't get it.
413
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,129
You know, you are one of
the toughest guys I know.
414
00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:10,001
How are you this afraid
of a minor medical procedure?
415
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:13,048
It's not the procedure
I'm afraid of, Dave.
416
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:16,182
Okay, well, then what is it?
417
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,184
What if they find something?
All right?
418
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,011
I just got a clean bill
of health.
419
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,665
I want to quit while I'm ahead.
420
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:24,581
Okay, Calvin,
what does that even mean?
421
00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:27,802
It means if I'm sick,
I don't want to know.
422
00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:30,979
Look, Tina said that
one out of 48 men
423
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,763
get colon cancer.
424
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:35,114
What if I'm number 48?
425
00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:38,726
But not knowing doesn't
keep you from being sick.
426
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:42,033
It keeps you from being able
to do anything about it.
427
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,472
Look, I know this
doesn't make any sense,
428
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:49,345
but this disease is
even worse for Black men,
429
00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:54,133
and... I just can't think
of the possibility
430
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,178
of not being there
for my family.
431
00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:58,833
Yeah, but isn't family
the whole point?
432
00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:00,965
I mean, how would...
how would you feel
433
00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:04,055
if Tina or the boys
were in your situation?
434
00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:05,709
Wouldn't you want them
to know the truth
435
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,537
so if there was
some sort of bad news
436
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,278
they could do something
about it?
437
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:10,932
Of course I would.
438
00:19:11,062 --> 00:19:12,673
Well, then don't you think
you owe it to them
439
00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:14,153
to do the same?
440
00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:19,810
Come on, Calvin,
you know I'm right.
441
00:19:21,769 --> 00:19:23,901
Fine. Let's go.
442
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:25,947
Great.
443
00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:30,386
But before we do, I want you
to know something, Dave.
444
00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:35,783
You are my BFF.
445
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:38,481
Thank you.
446
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:42,181
You know, with you
wearing that shirt,
447
00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:43,965
well, it'll kind of be like,
448
00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:45,793
you know, we're in
that room together.
449
00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:48,404
And you took it too far!
450
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,631
Smells good, babe.
What are we having?
451
00:19:57,761 --> 00:20:00,503
Well, in honor of the good news
about your colonoscopy,
452
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:03,245
I thought we'd celebrate
with rump roast.
453
00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:05,900
[laughter]
454
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:08,381
Very funny. Go ahead.
455
00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:10,165
Get it out of your system.
456
00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:12,863
After that orange laxative,
I know I did.
457
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,692
Well, seriously, Pop,
458
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:17,694
I'm really glad that
you went through with it.
459
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:19,479
Yeah, Dad, we're
proud of you, man.
460
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:21,350
I mean, I would have preferred
you showed us the pictures
461
00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:23,439
afterdinner, but still.
462
00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:28,357
Well, what's important is
now we know that you're gonna
463
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:29,967
be with us a long time.
464
00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:32,709
Yeah. And pretty soon, we'll
know the same about you.
465
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,233
Ah. What do you mean?
466
00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:36,147
Well, I talked
to your doctor today
467
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,715
and scheduled yourcolonoscopy.
468
00:20:38,846 --> 00:20:41,240
Say what, now?
469
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:45,374
Babe, it's just as important
that women get them, too.
470
00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:48,464
So, here you go.
471
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:51,946
[pops]
472
00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,469
Enjoy your dinner.
473
00:20:58,126 --> 00:21:01,216
Colon cancer is 90% treatable
if detected early.
474
00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:04,263
Go to
StandUpToCancer.org/ColonCancer
475
00:21:04,393 --> 00:21:06,134
for information
on which screening test
476
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,527
may be right for you.
477
00:21:11,095 --> 00:21:13,968
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
478
00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:16,971
and TOYOTA.
479
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:18,712
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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