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1
00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:10,706
What?
2
00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:13,013
Baby, are you watching Real Housewives?
3
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:17,365
I was gonna change the channel,
but then somebody
4
00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:20,194
threw a glass of wine
and somebody flipped a table
5
00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:23,066
and two hours later,
I'm Team Teresa.
6
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,981
Well, I'm Team Brandi.
7
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,723
She could get hit by a table
and keep on drinking.
8
00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:30,856
Where's Malcolm?
9
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,641
Oh, he's on a date
with Sofia.
10
00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:34,643
Again?
11
00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:36,384
Wow, this is getting serious.
12
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,081
I can't believe I still
haven't met that girl.
13
00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:42,085
And I can't believe
Teresa thinks she can
14
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,695
flip over that giant...
15
00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:46,089
Oh, no, she did it.
16
00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:49,701
Oh, hey, guys.
17
00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:51,268
Tina, did we order
two white people?
18
00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:55,272
Uh, no, uh, I did.
19
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:57,100
But don't worry,
I'll take 'em to go.
20
00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:59,407
So what's going on?
21
00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:01,104
Marty invited us
to trivia night
22
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,932
down at Ernie's Hot Spot.
23
00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:05,848
These Pasadena peeps
can't wait to play.
24
00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:09,721
Who are the Johnsons?
25
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,636
Let me grab my jacket
and we'll go.
26
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,029
Well, how about you guys?
You want to join us?
27
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,771
Uh, thanks,
but I'm gonna stay in.
28
00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:18,817
I already took my bra off.
29
00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:21,820
Calvin, you want to come?Are you kidding me?
30
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:23,779
The last thing I want to do
is sit around
31
00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,215
with a bunch of eggheads
32
00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:28,131
racing to answer "what's the
biggest lake in Africa?"
33
00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:29,611
ALL:
Lake Victoria.
34
00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:32,918
Trivia isn't exactly
my dad's thing.
35
00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:35,660
The only facts he knows
are the ones that he makes up.
36
00:01:35,704 --> 00:01:38,228
And a lot of the times
he's wrong about those.
37
00:01:38,272 --> 00:01:42,145
Ho, ho. So y'all think
y'all smarter than me?
38
00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:45,148
Ha. Smart enough not to
answer that question out loud.
39
00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:47,933
Well, you don't know
what I know.
40
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:51,067
I know stuff that I don't know
that I know I know.
41
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,416
Well, so you're in?
42
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:53,722
Hell yeah I'm in.
43
00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:56,768
And, uh, for your
information, Tina,
44
00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:58,596
penguins can fly.
45
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,685
They just cool where they at.
46
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,560
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
47
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:06,865
♪ Welcome to the hood.
48
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:16,266
Come on, Dad, think.
We need your answer.
49
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:17,528
Okay, hold on, hold on, now.
50
00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:20,314
You want to get this
right, don't you?
51
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:25,145
I'm gonna order
the buffalo wings.
52
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,279
I'm guessing this
is a slightly
53
00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:31,716
different crowd than
your dart night.
54
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,110
Sure is.
A lot younger.
55
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,199
More man buns.
56
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:38,332
And I heard some clown
order a gin and juice
57
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,464
with no gin.
58
00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:43,511
Where is my juice? I
ordered it ten minutes ago.
59
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:48,951
All right! Welcome to trivia
night at Ernie's Hot Spot,
60
00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:51,083
sponsored by
Carla's Fluff and Fold.
61
00:02:51,127 --> 00:02:54,913
Tell her I sent you
and get one free fluff.
62
00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:57,220
Okay, y'all know how it works.
63
00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:59,570
I spin the wheel
and read the questions,
64
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:02,965
you write down the answers
and order at least three drinks.
65
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:08,057
"Astronomy." "Shakespeare."
"Foreign Films."
66
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,407
Shouldn't those all be
under one category
67
00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:11,495
called "Who Cares?"
68
00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:14,890
Dad, I like all those things.
69
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:16,674
I know.
Who cares?
70
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,372
ERNIE:
Okay,
71
00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:20,417
first category is...
72
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:25,466
Ooh, "World Flags."
73
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:26,771
Okay,
here we go.
74
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,470
What is the only country
75
00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:32,473
whose flag has five sides?
76
00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:34,866
I got this one.
77
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,607
Stop sign.
78
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:42,309
Uh, Dad, that's an octagon.
79
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:44,920
I don't care what kind
of government it is.
80
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:48,532
Okay, I know this one.
81
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:49,751
It's on the tip of my tongue.
82
00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:51,492
I know it definitely starts
with an "L".
83
00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:53,885
It's Nepal.Or ends with an "L".
84
00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:57,454
Don't worry, sweetie, you were
about to get it.
85
00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:59,891
You weren't.
86
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:01,893
Okay, everybody, boards up.
87
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:03,373
The correct answer
88
00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:05,854
is Nepal.Yes!
89
00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:07,464
And for everybody
who got that right,
90
00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:10,989
hike your way to the bar
and buy yourself a Fuzzy Nepal.
91
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,297
Okay, good warm-up.
Just got to focus.
92
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:15,603
Which would be so much easier
93
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,518
if I had
my juice!
94
00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:18,954
ERNIE:
Okay...
95
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:23,350
Ooh!
96
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:24,960
Chemistry.Yes!
97
00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:28,268
Pb is the chemical symbol
98
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,531
for what common element?
99
00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:32,184
Ah, I know this one.
100
00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:34,622
Plubonium.
101
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:36,319
Final answer.
102
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:37,712
Seriously, Dad?
That's not even a...
103
00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:39,931
I said final answer.
104
00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:42,194
Gu-Guys, this is all me.
Just give me a second.
105
00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:44,632
Pb. Pb.
106
00:04:44,675 --> 00:04:47,025
PB and J.
Aw, great.
107
00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:49,071
Now I'm hungry, too.
108
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:51,943
It's lead.
109
00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:52,944
Boards up.
110
00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:56,470
The correct answer is lead.
111
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,210
Yeah.
Nice, Marty.
112
00:04:58,254 --> 00:04:59,821
All right.
You and me got this.Yeah.
113
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:01,779
Hey, we're here, too.
114
00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:03,825
Yeah, I know, but I still
think we can win.
115
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:09,744
Hey, Ma.
116
00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:12,834
Hey. Did you have a good time
with Sofia?
117
00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:14,836
Yes, I did.
It was great.
118
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:17,534
Oh. How long have you two
been seeing each other?
119
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:19,536
Uh, I don't know.
Maybe like two...
120
00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:21,669
73 days!
121
00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,892
When am I gonna
finally meet this girl?
122
00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:29,938
Look, I don't know, Ma.
Uh, soon, okay?
123
00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:31,374
Well, what's the problem?
124
00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:33,942
You act like you're afraid
to introduce her to me.
125
00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:36,205
I'm sorry if I wasn't
clear on that, Ma.
126
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:37,728
I am terrified.
127
00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:39,643
Oh, uh...
128
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,123
Malcolm, why?
129
00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:43,081
Because every time
I bring a girl home,
130
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,388
you grill her like she knows
who shot Tupac.
131
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:47,390
Oh, please.
132
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,218
All moms ask questions.
133
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:51,699
Oh, really?
Do all moms open with,
134
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:53,396
"Hey, I'm Tina.
Do you want
135
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,355
and are you able to have kids?"
136
00:05:57,008 --> 00:06:00,185
Well, what can I say?
I'm a people person.
137
00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:02,753
I want her to make me
more people.
138
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:08,846
Hey, Dave.
139
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:10,631
Hey, Calvin.
140
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,983
Congrats on the, uh,
big trivia win last night.
141
00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:17,551
Yeah.
You too.
142
00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:21,032
Marty was on fire.
143
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:23,905
So was Gemma.Yeah.
144
00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:27,430
Did you see how smug he was?She was being such a show-off!
145
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,998
I mean, just because
I didn't go to college,
146
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,521
he thinks he's smarter than me?
147
00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,654
Well, technically,
it's not "smarter than me,"
148
00:06:33,697 --> 00:06:36,657
it's "smarter than I."
149
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:39,877
But yours sounds
way more right.
150
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,705
All I know is
that game wasn't fair.
151
00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:44,708
It was rigged for
book-smart nerds like Marty.
152
00:06:44,752 --> 00:06:47,276
I regret the day
he learned to read.Yeah.
153
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:50,627
You know, the only reason that
Gemma beat me to those answers
154
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,673
is because I always
overthink things.
155
00:06:53,935 --> 00:06:56,633
Or do I?
156
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,026
I mean, they may have
book smarts,
157
00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,462
but we've got street smarts.
158
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,159
Yeah, you know what,
of we had another chance,
159
00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:03,292
we would bust a cat
in their ass.
160
00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:09,429
It's-it's a "cap," Dave,
not a cat.
161
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:15,086
That does seem a lot easier.
162
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,263
But like you said,
163
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:20,265
what if we had another chance?
164
00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:22,137
You mean go back
to Ernie's next week?
165
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:23,530
No. No, no, no.
166
00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:24,618
I got a better idea.
167
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:26,489
We're gonna level
the playing field.
168
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,971
Oh, I see where you're going.You do?
169
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:32,103
Not at all, but I trust you.
170
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,935
So, do you eat sushi a lot?Not often.
171
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:41,286
But I did once swallow
Marty's goldfish on a dare.
172
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:44,986
Oh, my...
173
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,206
Oh, my goodness.
174
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,426
Malcolm,
what are you doing here?
175
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:54,038
You mean eating at the place
I told you I would be?
176
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:56,780
You did?
177
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:59,435
That must be why
I'm in the mood for sushi.
178
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:04,658
Ah... So, uh,
179
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:07,878
aren't you gonna introduce me?
180
00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:10,315
Mom, this is Sofia.
Sofia...
181
00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:11,752
prepare yourself.
182
00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:15,538
It's nice to meet you,
Mrs. Butler.
183
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,671
So nice to meet you, too.
184
00:08:17,714 --> 00:08:19,673
Scoot over, Malcolm.
185
00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:24,547
Uh, Ma, this is awkward.
186
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:26,157
Ew, so is eating with sticks.
187
00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:28,420
A sister's gonna need
a fork up in here.
188
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:33,338
Thanks for
helping us, Marty.
189
00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:35,210
Yeah, us two dummies,
190
00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:36,603
we tried everything,
191
00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:38,909
but we couldn't get
the Wi-Fi to work.
192
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:43,566
Routers can be pretty
complicated, especially when
193
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,350
you haven't plugged them in.
194
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:49,920
Oh. Hey, guys.
195
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:51,139
What are you
all doing?
196
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:52,793
Well, one of us
is plugging in your router
197
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:54,708
and the other two are
acting super sketchy.
198
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:58,842
Dave, what's going on?
199
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:00,627
It's rematch time!
200
00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:04,761
You two are going down.
201
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:09,287
Welcome to Trivia Night,
Home Edition.
202
00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:13,465
Sponsored by
203
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:15,163
Calvin made me do it.
204
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:25,303
All right, it is game time.
205
00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:27,262
Calvin and Dave versus
206
00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:28,829
Gemma and Marty.
207
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:30,308
Tonight's drink
specials are
208
00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:32,572
make it yourself.
This ain't my house.
209
00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:34,443
Dad,
210
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,445
why are you doing this?
211
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:39,666
To prove that me and Dave
are just as smart as you two.
212
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:42,364
Oh, so you two actually think
you can beat us?
213
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,584
Yeah, the guys who
were both convinced
214
00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:47,978
the tallest peak in California
was Space Mountain.
215
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:50,502
Uh, hello?
216
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:53,680
You start on land
and end in space.
217
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,380
All right, then.
You asked for it.
218
00:09:58,423 --> 00:09:59,947
Let's do this.
219
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:02,036
Ha. Okay.
220
00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:03,994
Before you get too cocky,
221
00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:05,735
we added a couple
of new categories
222
00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:08,085
about some actual
important knowledge.
223
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:10,348
Yeah.Okay. Uh...
224
00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:13,395
"Making Ends Meet."
225
00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:16,137
"Tools and Their Uses."
226
00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:18,182
"Famous Daves"?
227
00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:19,706
And I'll be one
228
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:22,186
after I lay
the snackdown.
229
00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:25,407
Dave, it's "smackdown."
230
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:26,669
No, no, no, I know.
231
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:27,757
I was just gonna
put some food out.
232
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,327
So, Sofia, you're a teacher.
233
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,763
That means you must
like children.
234
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:35,504
Oh, yes, I love 'em.
235
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:37,288
They're like little
gifts from God.
236
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:40,552
Ooh, a two-for-one answer.
237
00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:43,164
Oh. You got to keep this
one around, Malcolm.
238
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,820
I'm trying to.
239
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:51,172
So tell me about your family.
Do they live in town?
240
00:10:51,215 --> 00:10:52,608
Yes.
Boyle Heights.
241
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,741
Oh. It must be nice
to have them nearby.
242
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:56,003
Do you see them a lot?
243
00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:58,222
All the time.
In fact, Malcolm and I
244
00:10:58,266 --> 00:11:00,050
just had dinner
with them last week.
245
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,751
Is that right?
246
00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,276
So you all just met last week?
247
00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:10,452
Can a brother get
some sake up in here?
248
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,716
Oh, no, that's not
when they met.
249
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,544
We all went to a Lakers game
last month.
250
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:21,289
Well, isn't that nice?
251
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:23,900
You know, everybody
just meeting and greeting
252
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:25,554
and going to games.
253
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:28,296
Ain't nobody met my ass.
254
00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:31,342
All right, look, Ma,
I can explain.
255
00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:33,736
No, no, no, no.
Don't bother.
256
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,303
I've heard plenty.
257
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:38,349
Sofia, enjoy the rest
of your evening, and Malcolm,
258
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:39,699
you're dead to me.
259
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:46,009
Okay, the category
is "Making Ends Meet."
260
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,317
"You just moved,
261
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,885
"you're trying to get
your lights on,
262
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:54,496
"but you got bad credit.
263
00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:57,499
What do you do?"
264
00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:00,284
Put the bill
in your baby's name.
265
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:04,245
Correct!Yes! Yes.
266
00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:06,856
What kind
of trivia question is that?
267
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,162
A good one.
268
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,686
One that
someone might
269
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,775
actually use
in their life.
270
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:15,299
Wait a minute, is that
why my credit history
271
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:17,345
goes back to
when I was five?
272
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,479
ERNIE:
Okay.
273
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:24,221
So the score
is Calvin and Dave: eight,
274
00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:26,267
Gemma and Marty: three.
275
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:30,053
And still zero dollars
in my tip jar.
276
00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:33,187
Okay. Dave, can I talk to you
in the kitchen for a second?
277
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,797
Yeah, but we're right
in the middle...
278
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,103
Wrong answer.
279
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,239
I can't believe you.
280
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:44,502
I know. I totally pulled
"Davy Crockett"
281
00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:46,809
out of my butt back there.
282
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:49,029
That's not what
I'm talking about.
283
00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:51,031
I'm talking about
how important it is
284
00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:53,120
for you to prove
that you're smarter than me.
285
00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:54,904
No, it's not. And...
286
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:58,255
technically,
it's "smarter than I."
287
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,390
Maybe, when you're using "than"
as a conjunction
288
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:03,870
with an implied "am."
289
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:06,307
But I just used it
as a preposition.
290
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,966
Okay, I owe Calvin an apology.
291
00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:16,230
So I'm better at trivia
than you. Big deal.
292
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,188
Why are you being so insecure?
293
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:20,321
I'm not insecure.
I'm the most secure.
294
00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:22,714
I-I'm the securest.
295
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,194
Ugh.
296
00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:26,196
And I know that's not a word.
297
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,416
That's just how secure I am.
298
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:33,203
Fine, don't admit it to me, but
at least admit it to yourself:
299
00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:35,292
you're being a giant baby.
300
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:40,167
Well, you see,
that's why you're losing.
301
00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:42,560
A giant baby is just
a normal-sized adult.
302
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,006
Hey.
303
00:13:53,049 --> 00:13:55,965
Ah. Look who's home early.
304
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:58,054
I thought maybe you'd be out
getting a family portrait
305
00:13:58,098 --> 00:13:59,839
with Sofia's parents.
306
00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:03,886
Ma, will you stop?
307
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,932
You met her parents, Malcolm.
308
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:09,283
More than once, but you wouldn't
let her meet me?
309
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:11,502
Your father I get, but me?
310
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:15,245
Do I really embarrass you
that much?
311
00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:17,204
Ma, you asked Sofia
if she'll be wearing white
312
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:18,945
on her wedding day.
313
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,948
Malcolm, I'm sorry
that you feel the need
314
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,950
to protect your girlfriends
from me.
315
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,343
I didn't realize
I was such a horrible mother.
316
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:31,871
Look, Ma, I'm not just
protecting them.
317
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,873
I'm also protecting you.
318
00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:35,309
From what?
319
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:37,354
Every time I introduce you
to a girl,
320
00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:39,139
you get so invested.
321
00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:41,315
You get to know them,
you get close to them,
322
00:14:41,358 --> 00:14:43,317
and when it doesn't work out,
it breaks your heart.
323
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,320
That is not true.
324
00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:47,799
Oh, really?
325
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:49,889
When I broke up with Jessica,
you kept
326
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:53,066
sneaking out to see her
for three more weeks.
327
00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:55,198
I just needed more time, okay?
328
00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:59,681
Look, Ma, you know I love you.
329
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:02,118
But it's hard enough for me
to get over a girl.
330
00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:04,729
I don't want to have to worry
about you getting over her, too.
331
00:15:04,773 --> 00:15:07,471
I guess I just keep hoping
every girl you bring home
332
00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:09,169
is gonna be the one.
333
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:11,911
Ah, don't worry about it.
One of them will be.
334
00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:15,305
Hey, maybe Sofia.
We'll see.
335
00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,918
Okay.
336
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:21,398
Well, as long
as it's not that Jessica.
337
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:24,706
No, that bougie skank
totally ghosted me.
338
00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:29,450
Okay, we are neck and neck
339
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:34,498
after an epic collapse
from Calvin and Dave.
340
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:36,587
What the hell is with you?
341
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,720
You just blew
four answers in a row.
342
00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:40,504
In a question
about "Famous Daves,"
343
00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:43,333
you answered Stephen King.
344
00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:45,292
Well, I'm sorry, Calvin.
345
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:47,511
I guess I'm just
not that smart.
346
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:50,950
And I'm totally okay with it.
347
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:52,516
You're an idiot.
348
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,475
Exactly.
349
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,042
Okay, am I missing
something?
350
00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:58,348
I am. Tips in my jar.
351
00:16:00,568 --> 00:16:02,265
Here's a quarter.
352
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,527
Spin the damn wheel.
353
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:07,879
Okay, we are all tied up,
354
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:10,839
and apparently, since I'm
doing this for a quarter,
355
00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:12,362
this will be
356
00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:14,277
our last question.
357
00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:19,152
Ooh. "Auto Parts."
358
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:21,023
MARTY:
Come on.
That's not fair.
359
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,416
He's a mechanic.
360
00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:24,418
Ah, guys, do you want
to call it now,
361
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,986
or do you want to go
through the humiliation?
362
00:16:28,465 --> 00:16:31,599
I'm just kidding.
I want to see the humiliation.
363
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:36,821
Okay. "In a car's
engine's cylinders,
364
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,823
the valves..."
365
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:42,436
Lets the fuel in
and the exhaust out.
366
00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:43,437
Final answer.
367
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,179
Incorrect.What?
368
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:49,660
I did not finish
asking the question.
369
00:16:49,704 --> 00:16:52,359
"In a car engine's
cylinders,
370
00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:55,884
"the valves let the fuel in
and the exhaust out.
371
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:58,887
This part moves the valves."
372
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:00,497
MARTY:
Okay, okay, okay.
373
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,151
Okay. I can figure this out.
374
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:05,676
Um, the spark plugs
ignite the fuel,
375
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,375
which fires the pistons,
which turns
376
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:11,291
the crankshaft, which is
attached to the timing belt,
377
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:14,250
which turns the camshaft.
378
00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:16,426
Correct!Yes!
379
00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:21,997
Marty and Gemma win,
and I am out of here.
380
00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:28,786
Well, looks like you were wrong.
381
00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:30,571
Clearly, I have
nothing to prove.
382
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:34,749
Which, if you think about it,
proves I was right.
383
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,794
You know what
it proves to me?
384
00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:38,709
That you're sleeping alone
tonight.
385
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:42,757
Wait. I take it back.
386
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,194
I was wrong
about being right.
387
00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:48,371
Well, Dad,
I guess I win again.
388
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:50,678
Well, that's only 'cause I hit
the buzzer too fast.
389
00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:52,158
You know what I mean?
390
00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:54,247
The problem
is my cat-like reflexes.
391
00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:57,032
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
392
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,730
Heads up.Hey... Oh, hey...
393
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,734
You saw how I blocked that,
right? I blocked that.
394
00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:06,302
Come on, Dad,
what's really going on here?
395
00:18:06,346 --> 00:18:10,611
Look, son, just because
you know a few random facts
396
00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:14,876
and have a degree, i-it's not
all the smart that you need.
397
00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:16,138
What are you talking about?
398
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:18,445
Not everybody gets
to go to college.
399
00:18:18,488 --> 00:18:19,924
I mean, I was
gonna go,
400
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:21,578
but then your grandfather
got sick
401
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:25,495
and I had to go to work
at his shop.
402
00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:27,410
I-Is that what this is about?
403
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:30,631
Dad, I-I don't think
I'm smarter than you.
404
00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:31,501
You don't?
405
00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:33,068
No.
406
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,201
How do you think
I knew all that car stuff?
407
00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:37,072
When I was a kid,
I followed you around,
408
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,639
soaking up everything you said.
409
00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:39,640
And then, because of
all your hard work,
410
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:41,032
I got to go to college,
411
00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:43,122
where I learned
half of it was wrong.
412
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:47,517
Well,
413
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:50,346
thanks to me,
you got out of kindergarten
414
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:52,305
with an 800 credit score, so...
415
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:58,572
Seriously, Dad, I'm only
where I am because of you.
416
00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:00,313
So thanks.
417
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:02,315
You're welcome, son.
418
00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:06,362
Well, would you look at that?
419
00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,930
Looks like there are
no losers tonight.
420
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,804
Well, looks like
I'm sleeping on the couch.
421
00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:17,678
I stand corrected.
422
00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:28,384
Hey.
423
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:35,478
I thought of another
trivia question.
424
00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:38,699
"Which famous Dave acted
like a total idiot tonight?"
425
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:45,445
Me.
426
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:47,447
Or I.
427
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:50,101
I honestly don't know.
428
00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:52,887
Can you please just tell me
why it was so important
429
00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:54,541
to prove you're smarter than me?
430
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:56,630
Gemma, don't pretend
like you don't know.
431
00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:57,805
Know what?
432
00:19:57,848 --> 00:19:59,415
Well, that everyone thinks
433
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:02,244
that you're so accomplished
and smart and...
434
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,639
...I'm just some hot
trophy husband.
435
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,078
What are you talking about?
436
00:20:10,121 --> 00:20:13,995
Sweetie, you're the most
amazing man I know.
437
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,301
Really?
438
00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:18,304
Yeah. You've got
this great big heart,
439
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,610
you make me laugh
all the time,
440
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:22,395
and how can you not
think you're smart,
441
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:24,962
Mr. Treasurer
of the Kalamazoo juggling team?
442
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,619
I kept the budget low
and the juggling clubs high.
443
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,884
You know, you may have
lost trivia,
444
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:37,018
but if you go light
some candles in the bedroom,
445
00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:39,238
you might win
something else instead.
446
00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:43,329
Are you talking about what
I think you're talking about?
447
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:47,724
Correct.
448
00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:49,639
All right.
449
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,426
Uh, uh...
450
00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:56,037
We are talking about sex, right?
451
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,604
Yes.
452
00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:02,739
It's a good thing he's hot.
453
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:10,399
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
454
00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:13,446
Captioned by
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