Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,185
Okay, Grover,
this is it.
2
00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:13,056
If the kicker misses,
we stay alive,
3
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,276
and those losers go home.
4
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:18,235
But... if he misses,
won't he feel sad?
5
00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:20,324
Yeah, he'll be devastated.
6
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:22,587
It's my favorite part
of football.
7
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:26,330
Okay, here comes
the kick.
8
00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:29,986
Yes! No good!
9
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,553
No good!
10
00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:32,771
Ha! That's so good!
11
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:34,469
Look at his...
look at his face.
12
00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:36,123
Oh, what happened?
13
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:37,167
The kicker missed
the field goal.
14
00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:39,039
Aw. He must feel so sad.
15
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:42,129
Is Tina still at church?
16
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:43,782
It's getting
kind of late.
17
00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:45,480
Yeah, she's
on the selection committee
18
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,308
to choose a new pastor.
19
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:49,179
She really likes
this latest candidate.
20
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:51,747
Ooh, is he the "fire
and brimstone" type,
21
00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:53,749
or more of a hip,
guitar-playing dude
22
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:55,577
who's down with the G-O-D?
23
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:58,580
I haven't met him.
24
00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:01,017
But Tina spending Sundays
at church
25
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,933
lets this dude be down
with the NFL.
26
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:06,196
And if that's
not the Lord's work,
27
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,590
I don't know what is.
28
00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:11,636
Oh.
29
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:12,855
Hey, guys.
30
00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:14,509
This is Pastor Don.
31
00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:17,512
Pastor Don, this is
my lovely husband, Calvin,
32
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,035
our neighbor Dave
and his son Grover.
33
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,471
Hi. How are you?Hi.
34
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:21,777
It's nice to
meet you all.
35
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:24,127
So, uh...
36
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:27,478
what brings you by, Pastor,
37
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:30,873
just before
the late game starts?
38
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:33,658
Well, I invited him to join us
for Sunday dinner.
39
00:01:33,702 --> 00:01:35,399
There.
40
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:37,923
Whoa, whoa, Tina,
what are you doing?
41
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,491
I didn't invite the pastor
over here to watch football.
42
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:42,406
I brought him here
to get to know us better.
43
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:45,496
Well, let me start
by letting you know
44
00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:49,109
how much I love football.
45
00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:51,415
Calvin.
46
00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:53,417
Fine.
47
00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:55,158
Hey.
48
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:56,855
That's the same face
the kicker made.
49
00:01:58,857 --> 00:02:00,772
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
50
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:01,817
♪ Welcome to the hood.
51
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:08,693
So, Pastor Don,
congratulations
52
00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:10,130
on your new job.
53
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:11,174
Or should I say...
54
00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:12,654
"Job."
55
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:16,701
So, uh,
56
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:19,443
blasphemy's okay,
but I can't watch football?
57
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:23,055
You know, the truth is,
I-I don't have the job yet.
58
00:02:23,099 --> 00:02:24,144
I'm still on a trial run.
59
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:27,234
All right, everyone,
dinner is served.
60
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:30,672
All right. You know,
if we cut down on the chitchat,
61
00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:33,109
we can be done by halftime.
62
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,199
Okay, so, Pastor,
why don't you sit here
63
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:38,070
at the head of the table?
Right, Calvin?
64
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,598
Of course.
65
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,556
Well, here, take my seat.
I left it nice and warm for you.
66
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:50,692
Okay, so, Pastor Don,
67
00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:52,563
would you do the honor
of saying grace?
68
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:54,304
My pleasure.Ah.
69
00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:57,960
Father God, we ask
that you bless this meal,
70
00:02:58,003 --> 00:02:59,614
everyone here,
71
00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:01,355
and especially bless
72
00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:02,660
Sister Tina,Mm-hmm.
73
00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,053
the one who made it.
74
00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:11,147
Can you throw in something
about my spelling test tomorrow?
75
00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,455
Grover.
76
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:16,239
No, it's okay.
I like the boy's spirit.
77
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,936
Hey, you all should join us
at church on Sunday.
78
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,242
We'd love to!
79
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,939
Ooh, I've always
wanted to wear
80
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,985
one of those big
fancy church hats.
81
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:25,074
And now I finally have
a big fancy chance.
82
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:28,904
Ah, look at that,
table neighbor.
83
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:31,950
The Lord just keeps
bringing us together.
84
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:34,039
God is good.
85
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,434
Yes, He is.
86
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,871
No matter what Sister Rose said
about Him at Bible study.
87
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:43,092
Hey, what-what'd she say?
88
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:45,790
Oh, it's a long story.
89
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:47,401
You had to be there.
90
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:50,186
But your comeback
was hilarious.
91
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,711
Wha... What was your comeback?
92
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:56,279
Oh...
93
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,150
Baby, you had to be there
for that, too.
94
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:01,458
Well, I'm glad Iwas.
95
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,460
Sister Rose was so embarrassed,
96
00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:05,288
she pretended
she was speaking in tongues.
97
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:08,204
That... that's funny.
98
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,424
You know what it reminds me of,
99
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,513
is last week in the supermarket
when the checkout guy said,
100
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,254
"ketchup sauce."
101
00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:16,038
Remember that, Tina?
102
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:17,213
Uh-huh. That was funny, too.
103
00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:21,391
: Man,
I wish I was there.
104
00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:22,958
Ah, "ketchup sauce."
105
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:25,003
That sounds hysterical.
106
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:29,007
You know, you all have
such a lovely home.
107
00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:31,314
How would you feel about
hosting Bible study here
108
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:32,707
this Thursday night?
109
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,926
We'd love to!We would?
110
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:39,017
Yeah. I mean,
yeah, we would. Yeah.
111
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,154
Oh-ho-ho!
112
00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,461
Ha-ha!Damn it!
113
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:50,507
It's like you knew I
was gonna do a fake punt.I did.
114
00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:54,424
You literally just said,
"Watch this fake punt."
115
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:57,122
I was talking to my team.
Quit listening to my huddle!
116
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:01,562
Uh, what was that?
117
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:02,911
That's my new
upstairs neighbor.
118
00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:06,131
Man, that has got
to be annoying.
119
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:07,524
Yeah, that's not all.
120
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,439
Yesterday he parked
his pickup truck
121
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,963
so close to my car,
I had to climb out
through the trunk.
122
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,965
Oh, man. Wait, do you
have security cameras
123
00:05:14,009 --> 00:05:16,881
in your garage?Oh, you mean so I
could show the landlord?
124
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:19,493
No. So I can watch you
squeeze your nerdy ass
out of that trunk.
125
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,019
Hey, Calvin.
126
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,890
Oh, hey, Gemma.
127
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:28,676
It was so nice getting to know
Pastor Don last night.
128
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:30,504
He's very charming.
129
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:31,722
Yeah, he's fine.
130
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:36,771
Uh-oh. That's the same "fine"
Dave's mom gave me
131
00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:40,296
when I asked her how I looked
in my wedding dress.
132
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,299
You know, I just don't like
how chummy he is with Tina.
133
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,780
Did you see him
hold her hand at dinner?
134
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:48,304
Calvin, we were saying grace.
135
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,872
Well, did you see what he did
after dinner?
136
00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:53,875
What kind of pastor
drinks scotch?
137
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:56,094
You offered it to him.
138
00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:58,358
As a test-- which he failed.
139
00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:01,578
I don't know,
140
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:03,580
this guy's up to no good.
141
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:05,887
Well, to be honest,
I know how you feel.
142
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,976
You do?Yeah.
143
00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:10,065
Women are always throwing
themselves at Dave.
144
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:14,243
Did you date another Dave
before this one?
145
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:19,814
I'm just saying, if your gut's
telling you something, trust it.
146
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:21,076
Yeah, you're right.
147
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:23,600
I need to keep an eye on him.
148
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:26,211
Hmm. It's not easy,
but it's the price we pay
149
00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:28,213
for falling in love
with hotties.
150
00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:32,217
All right.
151
00:06:32,261 --> 00:06:35,090
Now, if I can trap him
into taking my bishop,
152
00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:37,309
I can take his queen.
153
00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,573
Ha! Now you're talking
to yourself.
154
00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:42,445
Actually, I was
talking to you.
155
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,578
Ha. Checkmate.
156
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,277
Yo, seriously,
157
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,453
you haven't taken care
of this cowboy yet?
158
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:51,933
I sure did.
I confronted the guy
159
00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,108
and told him what's what.
160
00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:55,502
Oh, you did?Yes.
161
00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:57,547
Via a friendly note
I slid under his door.
162
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,331
But I think
163
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:02,726
the Starbucks gift card sent
quite a message.
164
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:05,468
Marty, you have backed down
from stuff your whole life.
165
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,949
Remember your first day at USC
when one of your professors
166
00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:10,125
called you Morty, and
you never corrected him?
167
00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:11,692
It wasn't that big a deal.
168
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,389
Your diploma says
Morton Butler!
169
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:23,834
Okay, Marty, I
could go upstairs
170
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,445
and take care of this
for your sorry ass.
171
00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:28,535
Yes, that'd be great.
172
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:29,971
Come on, little bro,
173
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,581
you can't keep running
from your problems forever.
174
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:34,715
Think about it-- what
would Yoda tell you to do?
175
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:37,239
I guess he'd say...
176
00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:39,371
Confront him, you should.
177
00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:41,548
Exactly.
178
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,724
Then why are you
still standing here?
179
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,726
Because stalling, I am.
180
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,297
All right, everyone,
let's dig in and see
181
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:54,561
what the Lord has to say
about helping those in need.
182
00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:56,476
But first,
what Ineed is another piece
183
00:07:56,519 --> 00:07:59,043
of Sister Tina's
delicious peach cobbler.
184
00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:00,654
Aw. Thank you, Pastor.
185
00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:03,047
Ask and you shall receive.
186
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:05,180
Oh, thank you.
187
00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:08,052
Hey, everybody.
Sorry I'm late.
188
00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:09,706
Oh, baby,
what are you doing here?
189
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,012
I thought you were playing poker
with the guys.
190
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,883
I changed my mind.
191
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:15,756
Tonight
I'm betting it all on God.
192
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:17,758
Well, Brother Calvin,
193
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,542
you came to the right place.
194
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:22,371
And you're sitting
in the wrong one.
Okay, come on.
195
00:08:22,414 --> 00:08:23,546
Oh. Sorry.
196
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:28,464
Now, to quote Jesus
after he rose from the dead:
197
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,161
"What'd I miss?"
198
00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:41,085
I want to thank you both so
much for hosting tonight.
199
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,565
No. Thank you.
200
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:44,567
Your words were so inspiring.Oh, thank you.
201
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,526
Good stuff, now.
All right.
202
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:49,964
Thank you, Brother Calvin.
203
00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:51,531
Sister Tina,
I'll see you Sunday morning.
204
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,054
Ooh, she'll be there.
205
00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:55,622
My wife-- 30 years, two kids!
206
00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,189
Hmm.
207
00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:00,365
We might even have another one!
208
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,152
Calvin, what is wrong with you?
209
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:06,720
You were acting so weird
during Bible study.
210
00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,591
Weird how?
211
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:11,507
Well, first of all,
you were atBible study.
212
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:15,337
All right, you want
to know the truth?
213
00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:17,252
I don't like
this Pastor Don guy.
214
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:20,081
You know, I think
he got his eyes on you.
215
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:21,909
Oh,
please, Calvin.
216
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,737
He's just trying
to butter me up
217
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,086
because I'm
on the selection committee.
218
00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:28,176
Nah, Tina. It's
more than that.
219
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,873
This guy's a snake
in our garden,
220
00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:33,529
and he's trying to take a bite
of your apple.
221
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,967
You said that
about our dry cleaner,
222
00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:38,839
the guy at the gas station,
223
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,580
and our dentist.
224
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:43,974
Well, he never told me
Ihad a beautiful smile.
225
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:48,631
You know, Calvin, I don't have
time for this, all right?
226
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,894
And for your information,
our dentist is gay.
227
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,768
His husband thinks you have
a beautiful smile.
228
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:59,294
You got this, okay?
You are the man,
229
00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:01,601
and you are about to shut
this chump down.
230
00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:06,214
Hello?
231
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,914
Hello.
232
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:12,220
Oh. Uh...
233
00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:15,136
H-Hi. Hi.
234
00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:16,703
I-I-I'm...
235
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:18,095
I'm-I'm Morton.
I mean Morty.
236
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:20,532
I-I mean, I am, um,
237
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,578
Marty, your downstairs neighbor.
238
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,971
I'm Keira.
239
00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:25,581
Oh.
240
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,409
You're the guy
who left me that gift card.
241
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:28,932
That was so thoughtful.
242
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,891
Oh, it's no big deal.
You know, I would do it
243
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,153
for anyone who was on top of me.
244
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,545
I mean, uh,
245
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,112
I mean, under-underneath you.
I mean...
246
00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,114
Ah... welcome
to the building.
247
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:40,422
Thanks.
248
00:10:40,465 --> 00:10:41,858
Hey, uh, actually,
249
00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:43,555
if it's not too weird,
would you mind
250
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:44,426
helping me with something?
251
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:45,645
What? Are you kidding?
252
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:47,211
If it's weird, I'm into it.
253
00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:48,735
I mean, uh,
254
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:52,608
uh, I would be...
I'd be happy to help.
255
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,176
I've been trying
to move furniture by myself.
256
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:56,960
Sorry if I was
a little loud.
257
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:58,962
Oh, not at all. In
fact, it was so quiet,
258
00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:00,747
I thought maybe a
mouse had moved in.
259
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,010
Are you calling me short?
260
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:05,708
What? No! No, I didn't
even notice your body.
261
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:07,449
Well, I mean, I
noticed your body.
262
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:10,713
So, you needed some
help with something?
263
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:12,323
Yeah.
264
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,325
Can you help me slide
this couch against the wall?
265
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:15,892
It's too heavy to lift.Oh...
266
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,241
Maybe it's too heavy
for you, but...
267
00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:18,329
Also for me.
268
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,728
Oh! I'm coming,
baby bro, I'm coming!
269
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,338
But I'm coming strapped!
270
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:33,170
♪ I'm gonna lay down my burden
271
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:35,346
♪ Down by the riverside...
272
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:37,087
What are you doing?
273
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:38,741
I'm prepping for church
with Calvin and Tina.
274
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,090
♪ Down by the riverside...
275
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:42,266
Why?
276
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:44,399
Well, because it's
gonna be different
277
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:46,357
from the church
that we go to,
278
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:47,881
and I want to be respectful.
279
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,274
Which is why I watched a
bunch of YouTube videos,
280
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:53,756
Sister Act,and
eight Madea movies.
281
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,585
Whoa!
282
00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:59,849
Are you gonna do backflips
down the aisle like that nun?
283
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,940
Grover, don't be silly.
284
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:06,116
She's 80. I'm gonna get
way more air than her.
285
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,688
Oh, hey, Calvin.
286
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,559
Hey. Dave, is Gemma here?
287
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:16,779
I need her to talk some sense
into Tina.
288
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:19,303
Actually, she's at
a PTA meeting. What's going on?
289
00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:23,046
I'm pretty sure that Pastor Don
is making moves on Tina.
290
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,526
What?
291
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:25,919
Did something happen?
292
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,182
I mean, not exactly,
293
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:31,707
but he's made excuses to see
her every night this week.
294
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,449
"Let's go visit the elderly."
295
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:39,497
"Oh, come help me
feed the homeless."
296
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,632
I'm telling you,
he's a bad dude.
297
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,547
Okay.
298
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:49,507
Uh, oris it possible
what you're actually upset about
299
00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,683
is that Pastor Don
is connecting with Tina
300
00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:53,250
in a way that you're not?
301
00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:55,296
That's crazy.
302
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:59,604
Is it? Look, Tina's church life
is obviously important to her,
303
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:02,129
and maybe Pastor Don
is just filling a void
304
00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:03,652
that you choose not to.
305
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,263
I don't know.
306
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:07,743
Maybe.
307
00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:10,572
Remember, Calvin.
308
00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:12,792
"Don't judge
or you will be judged."
309
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,838
Wow, Dave.
310
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,797
I didn't know
you knew scripture so well.
311
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,582
Actually, I-I got that
from Whoopi Goldberg.
312
00:13:23,585 --> 00:13:25,587
I'm so sorry.
313
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,850
Is your foot okay?Oh, it's fine.
314
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,243
Pinky toes are totally cosmetic.
315
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:34,596
Get your damn hands
off my brother, you...
316
00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,687
...surprisingly tiny lady.
317
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:41,429
Uh, Keira, this is
318
00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:43,561
my brother, Malcolm.
Malcolm, this is Keira.
319
00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:45,172
Hey. Oh,
320
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:46,738
so you're the one who's...
321
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,871
Drives the really cool truck
I've been telling you about.
322
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:51,874
Nice to meet you.Yeah.
323
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:52,962
What's with the rocket?
324
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:55,747
Oh. Um, it's a, uh...
325
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:58,315
a housewarming gift.
326
00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:00,013
Right, Marty?
327
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,405
Uh, yep.
328
00:14:01,449 --> 00:14:04,756
Yep. Uh, signed by Buzz Aldrin
and everything.
329
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,890
Well, thank you.
330
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:10,893
Hey, you guys
are my first houseguests.
331
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:13,113
Let me get some beers
to celebrate.MALCOLM: Okay.
332
00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:17,944
She is cute.
333
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:20,424
Yeah, I know. Thank you
for making me come up here.
334
00:14:20,468 --> 00:14:22,774
Yeah, you see what happens
when you stand up for yourself?
335
00:14:22,818 --> 00:14:25,560
Yeah, man. In
fact, I'm gonna do it now.
336
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:26,735
Get the hell out of here.
337
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:34,134
♪ I need thee
338
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:42,142
♪ Every hour...
339
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:45,101
All right, buddy. Now,
remember, we're guests here,
340
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:49,105
so let's be respectful
and just try to blend in.
341
00:14:55,851 --> 00:14:58,593
Oh, my God.
Look at all these hats.
342
00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:00,551
I knew I shouldn't have gotten
the small one.
343
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,338
Okay, I'm warning you, Calvin.
344
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:07,558
You better not embarrass me
in front of Pastor Don.
345
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:10,344
Don't worry, I won't.
346
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,868
I think maybe I was...
347
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,304
wrong about him.
348
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:17,829
Wait, did you just admit
to being wrong?
349
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:20,832
Okay, God, a deal's a deal.
I'm-a stop cursing.
350
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,749
Hey, uh,
351
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:26,316
I'm-a catch up with
you in a second.
352
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,710
Okay, baby.Brother Calvin,
good to see you.
353
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:30,842
Are the Rams not playing today?
354
00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:35,325
Well, I decided that
this was more important.
355
00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:37,110
Plus, it's a night game.
356
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,764
Listen,
357
00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:41,679
I... I just wanted
to apologize
358
00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:43,681
about my behavior
at Bible study.
359
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:47,555
The truth is is that
I had this crazy idea
360
00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:50,645
that you was making
moves on my wife.
361
00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:51,994
You did?
362
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:54,562
Yeah, you know how
us guys can be.
363
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,564
Yeah. Well, you have
nothing to apologize for.
364
00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:58,087
I completely understand.
365
00:15:58,131 --> 00:15:59,654
Thanks, Pastor.
366
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:02,483
After all, Sister Tina's
a very attractive woman.
367
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:08,184
Excuse me?
368
00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:09,751
As scripture says,
369
00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:13,015
"He who finds a good wife
finds a good thing."
370
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,670
Obviously,
Tina's a good wife,
371
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:18,542
but I'm more interested
in the bad ones.
372
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:27,595
You heard that, right?
373
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:36,996
♪ Bless
374
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:39,563
♪ Me now
375
00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:44,829
♪ My savior...
376
00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:48,833
Calvin.
377
00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,618
What is wrong with you?
378
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,272
I'm talking to God.
379
00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:53,708
I got a complaint about one
380
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:56,058
of his employees.
381
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:59,061
♪ To
382
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:03,326
♪ Thee.
383
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:06,068
Good morning, church.
384
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,505
Morning.Is it?
385
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:13,206
Today's message comes
from the Book of Revelations.
386
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:14,598
You got that right.
387
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:20,561
Now, everyone in here knows
that God sees everything.
388
00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:22,911
CONGREGATION:
Mm-hmm. Amen.I see your ass.
389
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:29,265
Which is why we must stay
vigilant against temptation.
390
00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:30,571
That's right.
391
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:34,314
Walk the righteous path
and cast out
392
00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:35,793
those who lead us astray.
393
00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:37,708
No way. I heard enough.
394
00:17:37,752 --> 00:17:39,101
I need to testify.
395
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:41,843
Let Him use you, Calvin!
396
00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:49,285
Brother Calvin,
I appreciate your enthusiasm,
397
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:52,027
but we normally don't testify
until the end of the service.
398
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,334
Yeah, well, today is different,
399
00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:57,728
'cause there is a devil
among us.
400
00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:01,036
Thank you,
Brother Calvin.
401
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,343
We'll look into that. Now,
if you open your Bibles to...
402
00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:05,084
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, I'm not done.
403
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,827
We are in the presence
of a false prophet.
404
00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:13,048
A wolf in sheep's clothing.
405
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:17,226
A man who covets
other men's wives.
406
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,272
And I know that commandment
is important
407
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:21,448
'cause it made the top ten list.
408
00:18:23,493 --> 00:18:26,322
And that man's name...
409
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,545
...is Pastor Don.
410
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:35,592
Let your light shine, Calvin!
411
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:40,554
Did you watch
Sister Actagain?
412
00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:43,861
If loving Whoopi is wrong,
I don't want to be right.
413
00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:47,082
Forgive Brother Calvin.
414
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,692
He knows not what he says.
415
00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:50,955
I'm a man of deep faith
416
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:53,741
who respects the sanctity
of marriage. I would never...
417
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,569
Hold up!
418
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:57,136
You got other women on the side?
419
00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:02,315
You told me I was the only woman
you were checking for.
420
00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:07,015
Oh, so you just laying hands
on everybody?
421
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:08,973
Uh...
422
00:19:10,627 --> 00:19:12,368
Unless you ready
to meet the Lord,
423
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,109
I suggest you get out of here
right now.
424
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,242
Because, uh,
this ain't the first fight
425
00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:18,157
Wanda's had at church.
426
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,202
I-I'm-a... I'm-a...
427
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,378
Oh-ho.
428
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,467
Uh-oh!
429
00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,991
Only God can save him now.
430
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,689
CONGREGATION:
Amen.
431
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:36,436
♪ Victory is mine
432
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:38,655
♪ Victory
is mine ♪
433
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:42,529
♪ Victory today is mine
434
00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:44,095
♪ I told Satan...
435
00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:46,968
This church is awesome.I know.
436
00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:49,057
As soon as we get home,
I'm going hat shopping.
437
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,798
And this time,
438
00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:53,104
I'm going big.
439
00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:56,325
Speaking of going big,
give me some room.
440
00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:57,935
It's backflipping time.
441
00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:00,286
Uh... Oh.
442
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,375
Babe, you doing okay?
443
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:03,985
Are you kidding?
444
00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:05,769
Look at all
of these good people
445
00:20:05,813 --> 00:20:07,118
rejoicing
in the Lord, Calvin.
446
00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:09,208
Thatis church.
447
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:11,558
Amen to that.
448
00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:13,995
Hey, you got to
admit, though.
449
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:16,563
I was the only one that knew
that Pastor Don was a snake.
450
00:20:16,606 --> 00:20:18,826
Baby, you sure were.
451
00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:20,828
Which is why
you're the newest member
452
00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:22,482
of our pastor
selection committee.
453
00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:24,440
Yeah.
454
00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:27,661
Huh?We meet on, uh, Sundays,
Mondays and Thursdays.
455
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:31,491
Those are all my
football days.
456
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:33,101
Take it up with God.
457
00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,929
♪ Victory
458
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:37,192
♪ Today is mine
459
00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:41,327
Oh! Oh!
460
00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:47,811
It's okay.
I'm all... I'm all right.
461
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:50,074
The drums broke my fall.
462
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:53,426
♪ Victory is mine
463
00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:56,298
♪ Victory is mine ♪ Victory
464
00:20:56,342 --> 00:21:00,563
♪ Victory today is mine.
465
00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:08,832
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
466
00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:11,444
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
32578
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof