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1
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,710
Oh, hey, Calvin.
What's up?
2
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:17,060
Hey, can I borrow some milk
for my cereal?
3
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:19,193
Malcolm used up all of ours.
4
00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:20,759
But your bowl's empty.
5
00:00:20,803 --> 00:00:22,935
Yeah, he finished
all the cereal, too.
6
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:26,330
Do you have anything
that's magically delicious?
7
00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:30,465
Yeah, sure. Let me get you
some of Grover's good stuff.
8
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,119
You want
the sugar-free quinoa flakes
9
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,382
or the date-sweetened
fiber puffs?
10
00:00:35,426 --> 00:00:36,949
I'll take a banana.
11
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,083
Oh, yeah, L.A. is way different
12
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,911
than Hickory Corners--
it's always sunny,
13
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,000
there's tons of culture,
14
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:47,743
and nobody grocery shops
shirtless.
15
00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:49,788
Honey, who is that?My sister.
16
00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,486
Brittany?
17
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,270
Do not give her money,
18
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:55,142
and do not invite her here.
19
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:57,318
Of course! We'd love
for you to visit.
20
00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:59,276
No! N...
21
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,756
Hey, uh, Gemma,
22
00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,932
did you read this article
on California earthquakes?
23
00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:05,978
They say the big one
is coming any day now.
24
00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:09,069
: I wouldn't
worry about that.
25
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:12,246
I've lived in California
my whole life.
26
00:01:12,289 --> 00:01:14,596
Never been hurt
in an earthquake.
27
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,119
What are you doing?
28
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:17,860
That's for your sucky cereal.
29
00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:21,820
All right, well,
love you, too. Bye.
30
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:23,953
Wow, Dave, there's
actually someone out there
31
00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:25,085
you don't like?
32
00:01:25,128 --> 00:01:27,043
What's her secret?
33
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,089
Calvin, you don't understand.
34
00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:32,483
Gemma's sister is
a total disaster.
35
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:34,920
She flakes on everything,
nothing's ever her fault,
36
00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:37,880
and the only time
we ever hear from her is
when she needs something.
37
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,056
That's not true.Oh, yeah?
What about the time
38
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,188
she asked you for a kidney?
39
00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:43,494
That's not fair.
It wasn't even for her.
40
00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:47,933
O-Okay, okay, so she's
still figuring her life out.
41
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:50,501
But she's got a good heart.Yeah, which she probably
42
00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:52,024
suckered someone
into giving her.
43
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:56,159
You know, she sounds like
Tina's cousin Lamar,
44
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:58,161
who she found out
wasn't her cousin,
45
00:01:58,205 --> 00:01:59,771
or named Lamar.
46
00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:03,297
Well, then you know
what I'm talking about
47
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,342
and why the last person
I want here
48
00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:07,039
is... Oh, Brittany.
49
00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,215
Surprise!
50
00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:09,390
Brittany!
51
00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:10,478
Oh, my God!
52
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:13,002
Forget the banana.
53
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:16,092
Thisis magically delicious.
54
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,050
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
55
00:02:18,094 --> 00:02:19,095
♪ Welcome to the hood.
56
00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:25,971
I can't believe
you're really here.
57
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,408
Thought it'd be
a fun surprise.
58
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:30,193
Like when you
showed up on our honeymoon.
59
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,195
That was the best
two weeks ever.
60
00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,241
Thanks again for
bailing me out.
61
00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:38,419
Mexican jails are no bueno.
62
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:41,204
Uh, so, Brittany,
what brings you here?
63
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:44,207
I know it wasn't Greyhound,
because they banned you.
64
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:46,209
I've always wanted to
come to California,
65
00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:48,472
and I finally finished
dental hygiene school.
66
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:51,649
You graduated?
Congratulations!
67
00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:53,042
Oh, no, I didn't
say I graduated.
68
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,174
I just stopped going.
69
00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:59,004
Uh, uh, what about the money
we gave you for tuition?
70
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:00,354
Oh, don't worry,
I used it,
71
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,877
and I enrolled in
a cosmetology course.
72
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,661
Oh, that's great.
How's it going?
73
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:04,793
Oh, I quit that, too.
74
00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,925
They wanted me to go
four days a week,
75
00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:09,101
and it's, like, I want
to be a cosmetologist,
76
00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,712
not a doctor.
77
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:14,106
Okay, well, it was great
of you to stop by on your way
78
00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:15,369
to somewhere else.
79
00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:18,502
Actually, I was kind of
hoping I could hang here
80
00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:19,938
until I figured out
my next move?
81
00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:21,375
Of course.
You're my little sister.
82
00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,507
You can stay
as long as you want.
83
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:26,206
Cool. So, where am I crashing?
84
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:28,512
You can sleep in my room.
I have bunk beds.
85
00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,558
Ha-ha! It'll be like
we're cellmates.
86
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:35,215
Hey, Dave.
87
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:38,174
How's the new roommate
working out?
88
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,221
Are you as miserable as I hope?
89
00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:43,223
Even worse.
90
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:46,138
She has been here one day,
and she already broke the oven,
91
00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:48,576
erased our DVR,
and this morning...
92
00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:52,232
she used my
karate gi as a bathrobe.
93
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:55,713
Dave, you got yourself
a freeloader on your hands.
94
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:58,412
And it's your own fault
for putting up with it.
95
00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:00,196
What am I supposed to do?
She's Gemma's sister.
96
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,850
Family doesn't get a pass.
97
00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:04,200
I don't care
if she was my mama.
98
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,942
Calvin Butler would nip
that nonsense in the bud.
99
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,291
Kee-ya!
100
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,379
Ha!
101
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,425
Hey, guys.
102
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:12,904
Oh, Pop, just a heads-up.
103
00:04:12,948 --> 00:04:14,384
I went over
the family data limit,
104
00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:16,430
so the phone bill's gonna be
a little bit high.
105
00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:19,824
: Lot of great fights
on YouTube this month.
106
00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:22,218
Well, good thing you...
107
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,438
nipped thatnonsense
in the bud.
108
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,266
Oh, and,
109
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:29,094
uh, for the
record, it's...
110
00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:30,357
Kee-ya!
111
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,843
Hey, Ma, is it cool if I
borrow your car tonight?
112
00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:41,281
Oh, sure, baby.
But it's just about out of gas.
113
00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:42,760
Oh, don't worry,
I got you.
114
00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,371
Where's your gas card?
115
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,287
Hergas card?
116
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:51,160
You do know
they take yourcash?
117
00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:54,424
Yeah, Pop, but then Mom
wouldn't get herpoints.
118
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,774
Yeah, Calvin-- why are you
trying to take my points?
119
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:59,168
What are they even for?
120
00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,126
I don't know,
but they're mine
and I want 'em.
121
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,954
Yeah.
122
00:05:02,998 --> 00:05:04,652
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
123
00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:06,001
Uh, what are you doing?
124
00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:07,959
I'm getting a piece
of garlic bread.
125
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,179
Yeah, but the middle piece?
126
00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:12,399
That's the one with the best
crust-to-butter ratio.
127
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,184
Fine. What's the big deal, man?
128
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,141
It's just bread.
129
00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:17,795
Oh, "it's just bread."
130
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,189
Bread that you didn't buy
or that you didn't cook.
131
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,148
Well, Calvin,
you didn't cook it, either.
132
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:25,150
I'm trying
to make a point, Tina.
133
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:27,370
Oh. So now you want your
points?
134
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,198
Uh, look...
135
00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:31,243
he's had a job for a while now,
136
00:05:31,287 --> 00:05:33,811
and it's just time for him
to stop being a freeloader.
137
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:35,987
A freeloader?
138
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:38,555
Yeah. You know, I'm tired
of him not chipping in,
139
00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:41,689
so I'm nipping it in the bud
right now. Kee-ya!
140
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,300
Calvin,
141
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,388
Malcolm is not a freeloader.
142
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:47,216
He's just trying
to get on his feet.
143
00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:49,131
Well, what he needs to do
is go in his wallet
144
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:50,567
and give me some bread
for this bread.
145
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,613
You know what? Fine.
146
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:54,266
If that's the way you want it.
147
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,964
Look. Here you go.
148
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,402
Five dollars?
149
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:01,273
That's all I have on me.
150
00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:03,101
Oh. Well, in that case...
151
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,843
Enjoy your salad.
152
00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:14,243
Oh. Hey.
I didn't think you were home.
153
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,810
Your car isn't out front.
154
00:06:15,853 --> 00:06:18,247
Oh, yeah. Brittany took it
to go get coffee.
155
00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:19,944
You let her borrow your car?
156
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,772
That is so nice.
157
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:24,296
Oh, I didn't say "borrow."
I said "took."
158
00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:28,475
Along with $20
and my favorite sunglasses.
159
00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:30,694
Dave, she's my
little sister.
160
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:31,956
What do you want me to do?
161
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,351
I want you
to stop enabling her.
162
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,005
The reason she quits
everything that she does
163
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:39,747
is she knows that you'll be
right there to bail her out.
164
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:42,445
Sometimes literally.
165
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,360
Dave, I'm not
enabling here.
166
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,014
I'm being supportive.
167
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:48,364
Things just don't come
as easily to her.
168
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,931
Okay. Well,
just so you know,
169
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:52,194
Grover said her Ouija
board spelled out
170
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:54,283
"lend Brittany money"
last night.
171
00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:59,201
Look, it's not like
she's staying forever.
172
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:01,159
We both know
in a few days
173
00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,552
she'll get bored and take off
174
00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:04,424
right after she asks
for a clean urine sample.
175
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,253
Hey, guys. Guess what?
176
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:09,516
You lost my sunglasses?
177
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:10,647
Yep, that, too.
178
00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:13,476
What I meant was,
I finally figured out
179
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,304
what I'm gonna do with my life.
180
00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:17,480
I'm gonna be an actor.
181
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:23,834
What?
182
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,357
I was in the
coffee shop
183
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:26,924
and I was arguing
with the barista
184
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:29,057
of whether or not
I brought the tip jar with me,
185
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,146
when...
186
00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:32,930
this talent agent comes up,
and he says
187
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,498
he's going to make me...
a star.
188
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:36,717
Oh.
189
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,936
Oh, sweetie,
I know that sounds exciting,
190
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:41,548
but I'm not sure that
that's the way it works.
191
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,854
Oh, uh, she's right.
It's a scam.
192
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:46,466
Con artists preying
on naive dreamers.
193
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,946
I was devastated.
194
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,905
No, this guy's totally legit.
195
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:53,516
He already got me an audition
for a commercial tomorrow.
196
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,735
Really?
197
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:55,997
Yeah.
198
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,477
So looks like I'm here to stay.
199
00:07:58,565 --> 00:07:59,870
Huh.
200
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:01,393
You hear that?
201
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:02,830
She's here to stay.
202
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,528
Whew!
203
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,313
And we are here
to be supportive.
204
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,579
BRITTANY:
This is so exciting!
205
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:15,016
I'm gonna go practice my lines
up in my room.
206
00:08:15,059 --> 00:08:16,974
Now, that'sa
juicy burger.
207
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:19,542
Now, that's a juicy burger!
208
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,370
That's a juicy...
209
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:23,590
This is a disaster.
210
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:25,417
Dave, it's not as bad
as it seems.
211
00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:28,464
Yes, it is.
Those were my sunglasses!
212
00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:30,901
It should've been me!
213
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:35,906
Oh, that looks tasty.
214
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,386
Salami and cheese?
215
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,562
Oh, yeah,
and all the fixings.
216
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,651
Great. That'll be seven bucks.
217
00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:45,568
You can make it a combo
for a dollar more.
218
00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:49,833
You know, actually, Pop,
what you said last night
219
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:51,792
made a whole lot of sense.
220
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,576
I shouldn't be eating your food.
221
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,578
So I went out
and I bought my own.
222
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:58,015
Okay. Steppin' up, like I asked.
223
00:08:58,059 --> 00:09:01,105
You know what?
Fix me one of those, and, um,
224
00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,367
make it a combo.
225
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:05,545
You know, I would, Pop,
226
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:08,983
but this is all stuff
I bought myself. You see?
227
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:11,594
I put my name on it.
228
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:13,030
Okay.
229
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:15,380
You're putting your
name on meat now?
230
00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,469
Who are you, Oscar Mayer?
231
00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,995
Yeah, well, this way,
you eat yourfood
232
00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:23,127
and I eat mine.
Mm-hmm!
233
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:25,521
You know what?
That is a good idea.
234
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,610
Mm.Maybe I should start putting
235
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:30,482
my name on stuff
I paid for.
236
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:31,614
Okay.
237
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,573
Look at that-- looks like
238
00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:34,748
your sandwich
239
00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,097
is on my plate.
240
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,579
Well, lucky for me,
241
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:41,363
this meal is handheld.
242
00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:44,061
That islucky for you.
243
00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:47,021
But what is not lucky for you
is that your food...
244
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:49,066
is in my fridge.
245
00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:53,767
Not a problem.
I'll get a mini fridge
246
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,246
for my room.
247
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:57,379
Yes. A problem.
248
00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,033
Because...
249
00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:03,428
your room is in my house.
250
00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:06,475
Well, in that case,
maybe I need a place of my own.
251
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:08,651
Maybe you do.
252
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:10,435
Well, maybe I should go look
for one right now.
253
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:12,786
Maybe you should.
254
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,701
You know what? Fine.
255
00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:21,664
Hello?
256
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:24,275
CALVIN:
I just wanted to remind you...
257
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:27,365
...that's my phone.
258
00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:39,203
Well, I hope you're happy.
259
00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:41,597
I just got off the
phone with Malcolm.
260
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,555
He already found a place.
261
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:46,471
So he's still using my phone?
262
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:48,952
Calvin, your son is moving
into a one bedroom
263
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,693
with four strangers
264
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:53,565
all because the both of you
are too stubborn to back down.
265
00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:55,350
Me? Stubborn?
266
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,657
I'll sit here all day
and argue that.
267
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,790
Come on, Tina.
268
00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,923
Moving out is gonna
be good for him.
269
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:04,881
How?
Well, for starters,
270
00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:06,187
with him out of the house,
271
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:08,406
I don't have
to wear pants anymore.
272
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:12,236
That's not good for him,
that's good for you.
273
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:16,023
Well, actually,
it's good for you.
274
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:24,727
You need to apologize
to your son and tell him
275
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:26,816
he can stay, or
things are gonna
276
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:28,252
get ugly around here.
277
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,385
How ugly?
278
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:32,648
Remember the Valentine's Day
you bought me a toaster?
279
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,041
Uglier than that.
280
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,871
Good morning.
281
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:41,831
Seriously? For the last time,
stop wearing my gi.
282
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:45,356
It's a slap in the face
to Sensei Chad.
283
00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:48,359
So, how are you feeling?
284
00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:49,839
Are you ready
for your big audition?
285
00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:51,928
Oh, yeah, Grover and I
rehearsed all night.
286
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,190
Check it out.
287
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:57,151
Now, that's a tasty burger.
288
00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:59,414
I thought it was
a "juicy" burger?
289
00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:00,676
Yeah, but I decided "juicy"
290
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,853
isn't a word
my character would use.
291
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:07,770
And yet, you have it tattooed
on your lower back.
292
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,598
So, what time
do you have to be there?
293
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:10,512
Not until 9:00.
294
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:12,862
Brittany! It's 8:45.
295
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:14,951
Oh, my God, you're right.
Okay, I'm just gonna eat
296
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,648
something really quick
and then we'll go.
297
00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:18,433
Where's your pancake mix?What? No! No, no, no.
298
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:20,652
No, no, no, no.
No pancakes.
299
00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:23,655
Go put on some clothes. If we
hurry, we can still make it.
300
00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:26,049
Fine. I'll meet you in the car.
301
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:28,356
We'll just hit up a
drive-through on the way there.
302
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:34,884
Hey.
303
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,320
Hey.
304
00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:37,800
I got some boxes,
305
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,671
so I'll be out of your way
by tonight.
306
00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:43,632
Look, about that, um,
307
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,634
things got a little
out of hand yesterday,
308
00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:48,898
so you don't have to move out
if you don't want to.
309
00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:51,074
Oh, thank you, Pop. You know,
I've been feeling bad
310
00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:53,555
about the way things
went down, too.
311
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:57,646
Great. Well, go tell your mom
I said all that sensitive crap.
312
00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:59,822
And, uh,
313
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,650
you know, tell her we hugged.
314
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,739
She'll eat that stuff up
right there.
315
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:07,569
Wait, so you're only
saying you want me to stay
316
00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:09,005
because Mom made you?
317
00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:11,834
Yeah.
318
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,968
You expect me to wear pants
the rest of my life?
319
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,753
You know what?
Do whatever you want,
320
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,799
because I'm not gonna
be here to see it.
321
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,975
Really? You gonna act like that
322
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:25,195
after I said everything
your mama made me say?
323
00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:28,372
I-I expected more from you.
324
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:31,027
And this is exactly
what I expected from you.
325
00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:32,986
What is that supposed to mean?
326
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,770
I don't know, ask Mom.
327
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,817
Ha! Well, the joke's on you,
328
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,993
because she's not talking to me.
329
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,650
Oh, you're back.
330
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,391
How'd the audition go?
331
00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:49,002
Not great.
332
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:52,875
Brittany "accidentally" spilled
coffee on another actress
333
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:56,226
and then asked the casting
director when the baby was due.
334
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:59,142
Huh. She wasn't pregnant?
335
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:01,188
No, hewasn't.
336
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:02,842
Oh.
337
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,756
Now that's a juicy burger.
338
00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:09,892
Dave, when she comes down,
please be nice to her.
339
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,851
She's in a very fragile state
right now.
340
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,853
Oh, I don't care
what state she's in,
341
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,898
as long as it's not California.
342
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:16,899
Dave.
343
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:19,597
But I will be nice.
344
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,730
Well, my agent just called.
345
00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:23,297
I'm sorry, sweetie.
346
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,038
I know how much you wanted this. Yeah.
347
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,561
Don't be too hard on yourself.
348
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:28,084
What are you guys talking about?
349
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:29,390
I got the part.
350
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:32,306
What?!
Of course.
351
00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:35,178
Yeah, they said they loved my
"spunky, unpredictable energy,"
352
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:36,745
which is funny,
'cause that's exactly
353
00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:39,704
what my parole officer hated.
354
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:42,925
Wow. Uh, you did it.
Congratulations.
355
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:46,015
Thanks. Too bad I had
to turn it down.
356
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:47,930
What?Of course.
357
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:52,195
Why would you turn it down?
358
00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:53,980
Well, think about it.
359
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:59,072
If I booked my first audition,
I am clearly a great actor.
360
00:14:59,115 --> 00:15:02,075
And great actors
don't do commercials.
361
00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:06,557
But this is a huge opportunity.
362
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:08,211
You're just gonna throw it away?
363
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,735
Yeah. Plus, they said
it was gonna air in Mexico,
364
00:15:10,779 --> 00:15:12,520
and I've got
muchowarrants down there.
365
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,871
You know what?
366
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,003
Dave is right.
367
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:19,483
I do enable you.
368
00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:22,008
I have given you
so many chances
369
00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:24,532
and made so many excuses
for you,
370
00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:26,534
and all you do is screw it up.
371
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,057
But I am done.
372
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:31,278
You need to get your stuff
and go home, now.
373
00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:37,458
I know. You're right.
374
00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:38,981
I'm a disaster.
375
00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:41,331
And the worst part is,
376
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:42,942
I don't even know why.
377
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:46,032
I-I quit anything I start,
378
00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:48,904
anything good in my life
I find a way to ruin.
379
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,297
Even our relationship.
380
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:55,476
You're the best big sister
anybody could have,
381
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,957
and all I do is I-I just
take advantage of you.
382
00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:04,659
I don't know what else to say,
but I'm... I'm sorry.
383
00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:06,922
I'm gonna go pack my things.
384
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,012
Uh, Brittany, wait.
385
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,013
I'm sorry I said that.
386
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,928
Please, please, please don't go.
387
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,408
Are you sure?
388
00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:17,019
Of course.
You're my little sister.
389
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,108
And scene.
390
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,027
Wait, what?
391
00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:29,075
I told you. I am a great actor.
392
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:31,773
You just made
all that up?
393
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:34,689
Not all. I stole a few lines
from Gossip Girl.
394
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:37,039
Oh, my God.Oh, my God.
395
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,041
All right.
396
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:42,044
That's it. You need
to leave... now.What?
397
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,132
You heard me.Okay, but...
398
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,960
No, I'm not giving you my pee.
399
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:49,617
Fine. Haters gonna hate.
400
00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:57,451
You did it.
401
00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,061
You finally
stood up to her.
402
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:00,628
I know, but
I was so harsh.
403
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,064
Do you think
she'll get over it?
404
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,110
Of course she's gonna
get over it.
405
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:06,068
I'll tell you
what I'll never get over.
406
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,723
She is a way better actor
than I'll ever be.
407
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,076
Well, that's everything.
408
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,339
You know, I can't believe
you and your father
409
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:18,080
are being so stubborn
about this.
410
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,342
He's the stubborn one.
411
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:20,909
I just refuse to give in.
412
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,827
Calvin, Malcolm's leaving!
413
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,831
Don't you have anything
to say to him?
414
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,833
Fine.
415
00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:37,795
Seriously?
416
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:40,102
You two have nothing
to say to each other?
417
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:43,018
Nope.Nope.
418
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,803
See, that's what your problem
is-- you're too much alike.
419
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,370
No, we're not.No, we're not.
420
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:48,937
You know what?
421
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:51,374
Maybe you're right.
Maybe this is a good idea.
422
00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:53,028
With Malcolm gone,
423
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,378
you can finally watch
football all by yourself
424
00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:56,945
without anyone to debate
425
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:59,948
about who's the best player,
or argue over calls.
426
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:01,993
Sounds good to me.
427
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:05,040
And, Malcolm, you won't be stuck
playing cards with your dad.
428
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,520
You know,
talking about politics
429
00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:08,043
and what's going on
in the world.
430
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,045
That's right. I can do
that with my roommates.
431
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,308
Yeah, and since two of you
sleep in the living room,
432
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:14,963
y'all can chitchat
all night long.
433
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,706
Yeah, that's...
that's gonna be fun.
434
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:22,188
And, Calvin, you don't
have to remind Malcolm
435
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:23,841
about taking the
trash out anymore,
436
00:18:23,885 --> 00:18:26,105
because you'll be doing it!That's right.
437
00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:28,542
Uh-huh.
438
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,850
Well, now that we all agree
this is for the best--
439
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:34,765
Calvin, tomorrow's
trash day.
440
00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:36,767
Malcolm, don't let
the doorknob hit ya
441
00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:38,073
where the good Lord
split ya.
442
00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:44,775
So, uh...
443
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,995
really? Two of y'all sleep
in the living room?
444
00:18:47,038 --> 00:18:48,866
It's not as bad
as it sounds.
445
00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:51,260
We got a line of
tape down the middle.
446
00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:54,655
Well, fine.
447
00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:56,526
I hope you enjoy
watching football with him.
448
00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:59,050
Well, actually,
we don't have cable,
449
00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:01,488
which would be useless
anyway, because...
450
00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:03,142
we don't have a TV.
451
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:04,969
What?!
452
00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:06,667
Man, that's crazy.
453
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,886
Every man deserves
to watch football.
454
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:10,714
I think
that's in the Constitution.
455
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:14,327
I'll tell you what.
456
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:18,069
Why don't you come over Sunday
and watch one of the games?
457
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,550
Okay, that'd be cool.
458
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:24,163
Of course... there's also
Monday Night Football.
459
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:28,602
And Thursday.
460
00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:31,126
That would be a lot of
driving back and forth.
461
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,997
Especially
without your mama's gas card.
462
00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:37,045
Well, maybe...
463
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:39,613
you should finish out
the season here.
464
00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:42,790
That does seem like
the logical solution.
465
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,661
Yeah, all right.
466
00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:47,925
Well, uh, maybe you should
just stay for a little while.
467
00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:50,014
Yeah, for a little while.
468
00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:51,494
All right.
Well, good. Come on.
469
00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,670
Let me help you get
these boxes in, son.
470
00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:54,976
Hey, you know what, Pop?
471
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,413
If I am gonna stay
here for a little while,
472
00:19:57,457 --> 00:19:59,589
I think I should
start paying rent.
473
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:01,200
You damn straight you are.
474
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,072
And I'm talking market rate.
475
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:05,943
I don't play
that rent control.
476
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:15,388
Hey, Dave. You take Brittany
to the airport?
477
00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:17,303
Actually, the train station.
478
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:20,175
She says the airport is
"bounty hunter central."
479
00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:22,960
Well, congratulations.
480
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:24,527
You got rid of your freeloader.
481
00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:26,877
Oh, not me.
It was all Gemma.
482
00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:28,705
What about you?
483
00:20:28,749 --> 00:20:31,055
Uh, you and Malcolm
figure everything out?
484
00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:35,146
Yeah. You know, um, he and Tina
begged me not to kick him out,
485
00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:38,149
so, what are you gonna do,
you know?
486
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:40,717
Dave, we got to go.
487
00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:42,110
Where?
488
00:20:42,153 --> 00:20:43,633
The train station
just called.
489
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:45,287
Apparently,
they have a jail.
490
00:20:46,897 --> 00:20:48,551
Oh, check out
this crazy white girl
491
00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:50,161
fighting on YouTube.
492
00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:51,815
Brittany?!
493
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:55,079
Damn!
494
00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:56,994
She put that conductor
to sleep.
495
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,346
And look at that.
496
00:21:00,389 --> 00:21:02,261
She's wearing my sunglasses!
497
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:09,659
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
498
00:21:09,703 --> 00:21:13,272
Captioned by
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