Original subtitles

No wonder I couldn't find this.

He brought it here secretly.

-Crazy. -Crazy.

Explain.

It's just as you saw.

She's been annoying and I can't get rid of her.

She wouldn't be so brave

if you didn't give her hints.

I didn't.

All right, I trust you.

It's your turn to explain.

I just got my visa, so I came here.

That's not what I'm asking.

What is it, then?

What is the meaning of "pregnant"

in Chinese?

I don't understand.

I don't understand either.

You just said it.

What?

My English is poor

and I can't remember any words.

I only know "Yes" and "No."

"Come" and "Go."

That's all you know?

You have to improve your English.

I'll bring you out to improve it.

There's no need.

As long as you can speak English.

No way, let's go.

Change your clothes.

What's wrong?

What do you want?

Is it free to learn English here?

This is the best place for you.

They have the same level of English as you.

Only "Yes" or "No."

What's going on?

Don't make noise, he's teaching English.

Do you really think I'm stupid?

Can you understand that?

Gu Weiyi.

Gu Weiyi, stop joking around.

Situ Mo.

Situ Mo.

Situ Mo.

Situ Mo.

Situ Mo.

It's okay.

If you don't want...

I just want you to know,

you're really in my plan.

I've been here once before.

The sausage platter here is delicious.

Are you still angry?

Shouldn't I be angry?

I didn't even wear a wedding gown.

Gu Weiyi.

Situ Mo, why are you here?

To get married.

Congratulations!

Thank you.

I'm done, I'll go ahead.

Bye.

-Bye. -Bye.

Shanshan.

Shanshan.

-Shanshan. -What's wrong?

The bank offered me a loan.

-Really? -Really!

I didn't even wear a wedding gown.

And where's the ring?

Where's my ring?

Not even a ring.

Gu Weiyi.

Don't pretend like you're sleeping.

Gu Weiyi.

Gu Weiyi.

Gu Weiyi.

Gu Weiyi, get up.

No breathing, what should I do now?

Oh, yes. CPR.

You're dead.

You're finally dead.

CPR requires artificial respiration, you know?

I don't know.

Momo.

May I?

That's what I wanted to ask you.

You'll know it.

What's going on with Zhicun's blog today?

How could he have Situ Mo's resignation letter?

I'm working on it too.

I can't reach him now.

I'll call you back after this.

Bye.

Hello.

REASON: THE LEADER IS TOO UGLY, SO I WILL QUIT.

IT'S AN ADVERTISING FIRM.

THE LEADER STOLE HER ARTWORK AND PUT IT UNDER HER NAME.

Situ Mo.

Are you okay?

You're going to be a dad, I see?

Shut up!

Why did you throw up all of a sudden?

We ate the same food, right?

I don't know.

I threw up several times when you were asleep.

Did you eat anything else?

-I took some medicine. -What medicine?

Contraceptives.

Where did you get it?

His girlfriend gave it to me.

Don't mention it.

Give me the medicine.

It has a strong side effect.

Before you eat, but you're on an empty stomach.

Your stomach can't stand it.

Do you still want to throw up?

I'm better now.

That's good.

Why did you take the medicine?

The baby might not be in your plan yet.

Everything about you is in my plan.

I'm leaving.

Wait a minute.

You forgot to bring something.

What's that?

Hello.

Situ Mo, you're really something.

You're so close with Lin Zhicun, aren't you?

What are you talking about?

Don't you surf the web?

Lin Zhicun is standing up for you regarding the artwork.

What?

I'm not sure where he got your resignation letter.

He posted it in his blog

and it's a hot topic now.

They found out about what Ms. Shasha did.

Now the company says they'll look into her problem.

I just saw an interview on TV.

A reporter asked her about it.

Guess what she said.

What did she say?

Situ Mo.

Congratulations! Finally, justice is served.

What are you talking about?

You're so lucky.

Even my idol stands up for you.

I didn't expect you two to have a relationship.

I envy you.

You forgot to take me.

Let's go home.

Welcome home.

Welcome home.

What is going on here?

I just studied it on the plane.

How did you make it?

As long as I'm on the same local area network with it,

I can control it with my phone.

I call its current state "pet mode."

Have you studied other modes too?

Do you want me to try it all for you?

Okay.

I've set up an escape mode as well.

If there is a fire,

it will automatically run to the balcony

and jump down into the bushes.

I've set the parabola.

Have you ever thought about

how many pieces it will break into?

Don't worry.

We're on the 17th floor.

The height of each floor is about 3.5 meters.

Altogether, it is about 59.5 meters.

So, even if it jumps down--

Gu Weiyi.

Welcome home.

Welcome home.

Welcome home.

Welcome home.

I cleaned up and found something wrong.

What's wrong?

I think we should

live in the same room.

What about the empty room?

I'll change it into a lab.

I want a divorce.

I'll tell your mom then.

My mom didn't even know I was getting married.

I haven't told my parents about our marriage.

It's okay, I didn't tell my parents either.

Let's call them and tell them later.

Okay.

No way.

If my mom knew

that we got married in a church in Germany

without her knowledge...

Oh, no!

We haven't gotten the marriage certificate yet.

So, in a legal sense,

we're not married.

That's good.

I'm safe.

I've made a booking online for the marriage registration.

When?

It was part of the plan.

Why did you do so many things on a plane?

Do you want to go?

Sure.

Come on, please sit down and smile.

Smile. The photo will be used for a lifetime.

Ready.

One, two, three.

Why did they give us two copies of the certificate?

To avoid losing it?

Since there are two copies,

it doesn't matter if you lose one.

Let me keep it.

Why?

One of the certificates is mine.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Give it back to me.

Give it back to me.

Cut it out! Your mom is calling.

MRS. HUANG

My mom always calls you and she seldom calls me.

Hello, Madam.

Xiao Gu, have you two got your certificate?

Yes.

Don't call me madam again.

Mom.

I'm wishing you a happy marriage.

I planned to have a meal together

to celebrate after you two got the certificate.

But Momo's sister suddenly wants to study abroad.

They...

Dad, please have some tea.

Okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's good.

Thank you.

Mom, please have some tea.

You're so sweet.

You're so sweet.

You're so sweet.

Momo.

I just talked to Xiao Yi about the banquet.

He still rejected it.

Can I just tell him that my family insisted on doing so?

Is that okay?

Forget it, it's okay.

Since he didn't want it,

I just feel bad about forcing him.

In fact, we're here to see you two.

Madam, you may...

Mom.

You and Dad can stay here longer.

No way.

You two just got married.

If we stay here any longer,

Xiao Yi will get mad at us.

No, he won't.

Xiao Yi, come on.

What's up?

Look, it's amazing.

The sunset is nice,

but it's just near dusk.

It's going to rise again tomorrow.

It's just the Earth's rotation.

Xiao Yi.

It's not scary to get married.

But marriage is not that easy.

I know.

Do you really know that?

Marriage is not like doing scientific research,

which always has proof.

Like what you said just now.

The Earth's rotation.

If you say it to your mom,

she's going to be nagging for a long time.

But Situ Mo won't.

My son, I wish you

have a very good time

in your married life.

Thank you.

Why? You've never seen someone looking for a job?

You can't get a job?

Look here.

This company doesn't recruit married women with no children.

And this one says

the applicant must drink 500ml of liquor.

And this one says

the applicant must recognize 300 celebrities.

This is more outrageous.

"The applicant must have a story in their eyes."

Let me see.

There's a story in your eyes.

No gloating, please.

I want to hit people who don't

have to look for a job like you do.

You'd really hit me?

Because you're gloating.

Don't look for a job first.

Take a break.

Think about whether you want to work, or to further your studies.

Are you going to support me if I'm jobless?

Sure.

Do you have enough money in your bank account to support me?

My grandma sent it to me when she knew that we got married.

How can we spend Grandma's money?

Actually, I've given all my scholarship money

to her since I was small.

Unexpectedly, she saved it.

That means it's not much.

It's 240,000 yuan.

You're so generous.

I was really terrified.

Forget it.

No way.

You can't keep the money.

Or some weird machines will appear

in our house tomorrow.

I'll keep it for you.

I won't spend it.

ZHILI ADVERTISING SIMULATION FOR RECRUITING WRITTEN EXAMINATION

Aren't you going to sleep?

Wait a minute.

I'll sleep when I'm done with this test.

What test?

Among all these companies, the best one

would be the one asking people to recognize 300 stars.

So I found their test

and tried to do it.

Gu Weiyi.

Do you know the Four Flow Men after 1985?

Flow?

Yes.

Do you know Flow?

The "flow" in Physics

means the flow through a closed pipe

or the amount of fluid in the effective cross-section

of the open channel in a unit of time.

It's also known as instantaneous flow.

Isn't that flow?

Forget it, I think too much.

You wouldn't know it.

You probably don't even know who the Four Kings are.

What is that?

Oh, my goodness.

You really don't know?

Isn't that common sense?

Even my dad knows that.

Do I need to know it?

Do you know the Four Physical Mechanics?

The Four Kings of Hong Kong.

Andy Law, Jacky Cheung, Leon Lai, and Aaron Kwok.

Four Physical Mechanics.

Theoretical, statistical, quantum, and electrodynamics.

You're awesome! You're knowledgeable.

Awesome.

I'll sleep first.

Take off your glasses first.

Come down.

No, I'm going to sleep like this tonight.

You'll regret it then.

Why would I?

Your parents are in the next room.

What can you do to me?

Here it comes.

I'll go to the lab first.

All right.

Wait a minute.

Mom cooked the herbal tea.

Drink it first, it will make your body cold.

Bitter?

What are you saying?

Come back early.

Mom, I'll clean it up.

Come back early.

Professor Jiang and the seniors will arrive at 8 p.m. tonight, right?

At 8 p.m. tonight.

So, the four swordsmen

of the lab finally reunite.

Why must it be four swordsmen?

What's the special meaning

of four?

Yes, why do they always use four?

Four Masterpieces.

Four beautiful women.

Four Kings.

Do you know who the Four Kings are?

I know. Don't you?

Have you finished reading the German experiment report?

I sorted it out for you before I came back.

I'm done, wait for me.

Hello, Shanshan.

Momo.

Where do you think I am?

Where are you?

I'm at Fu Pei's company.

Why are you back? Are you on break?

I'm here to spend an anniversary with Fu Pei.

Anniversary?

I thought Fu Pei was going to...

Situ Mo, shut up!

When are you going to buy us a meal?

Why should I?

You two got married.

You should invite us to the banquet.

You should ask Gu Weiyi.

I'm jobless

and it has nothing to do with me.

You haven't gotten a job yet?

Do you want a part-time job?

Please design posters for me.

How much will you pay me?

We're old friends.

-Don't hurt our relationship with money. -I'm going to an interview.

You should call Gu Weiyi, don't bother me.

Why is it so dark?

Dad! Mom!

Did they fall asleep?

I don't think so.

Dad! Mom! We're back.

They aren't here.

They already went home.

Impossible.

They will tell us before they do.

Are they taking a walk?

They will tell us before that.

Momo, Xiao Yi.

We're going back.

We didn't mention it earlier just to avoid you seeing us off.

And I have an urgent job,

that's why we're rushing back.

We're at ease

when we saw the way you two get along.

There are pepper mantis prawns in the pot, remember to eat them.

Don't forget to send the wedding photos to us.

They already went home.

And they left a lot of mantis prawns.

That's so strange.

Aren't you allergic to mantis prawns?

I can't finish them.

But they'll spoil if we don't finish them.

It's all right.

Just leave it to me.

Let me help you.

It smells good.

So fresh.

The mantis prawn is so nice.

Can't you just peel and eat one at a time?

You don't understand.

We must eat the whole plate to feel a sense of accomplishment.

Okay.

Let's just eat this first.

Isn't it so fresh?

You can have one.

It doesn't matter if you eat little.

It's all right.

Allergies don't kill people.

At worst, you'll be admitted.

It doesn't matter.

Forget it, you'd better not eat.

If anything happens to you,

I can't carry you.

If you're admitted,

how should I explain to Mom and Dad?

You'd better not eat.

Just one, it won't be allergic.

Yes.

Mom said

someone ate a lot of mantis prawn during the New Year.

You're definitely not allergic.

So you realized that you loved me when we were at the beach?

No.

No?

Why did you give me the mantis prawn then?

I suspected the mantis prawn was poisonous.

You're poisonous.

You hate it because you love it.

What's wrong with you?

You've been quiet since dinner.

What are you doing?

Get up.

I...

I'm proposing.

We're in a long-distance relationship.

You still have to study

and I just started my business.

I have no achievements yet.

But, if we get married, everything will be okay.

What do you think?

Okay--

Maybe you think it's so sudden.

But I'm sincere.

Wait a minute.

What did you say?

I said, "Okay."

She said yes!

Did you hear that?

Calm down.

Hello. The bride is still changing clothes on the second floor.

Please wait for a moment.

Okay, thank you.

Are you ready yet?

Almost there.

That's what you said hours ago.

You can go ahead.

Take your time.

Why? Are you spellbound by my beauty?

No.

Let's go.

We're going for the outdoor shoot first.

I was really caught by Situ Mo.

I have an IQ of 187.

After meeting Situ Mo,

it seems I only have 87 left.

I started to do a lot of stupid things.

Are you buying for your girlfriend?

It's really comfortable.

Wait!

Bamboo dragonfly and time tunnel Can take you anywhere

I started to do crap.

Are you writing a thesis?

HOW TO WIN A LADY'S HEART?

HOW TO DRAW THE STICK FIGURE OF CATS?

And lost the calmness I've always had.

I killed her with poison.

When will the ambulance be here?

Did it hurt you?

Aren't you allergic to cats?

I watch her giggle all the time.

I haven't driven a car since I got my driving license.

Do you know where the throttle and the brakes are?

Do you really think I'm stupid?

The theme you chose is kind of stupid.

Let's just forget it.

But...

I found my IQ

is in the continuously declining trend.

For example,

although I know it's dangerous,

I still get into the car when she drives.

I'm willing to.

Gu Weiyi. Please tie my hair.

It's just fine.

Gu Weiyi, bring me a glass of juice.

I'm Situ Mo.

Gu Weimo.