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- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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I figure we can live in
your van for a while.
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00:00:13,066 --> 00:00:14,966
We'll get a crib at a yard sale,
4
00:00:14,968 --> 00:00:16,814
and you and I could, you know...
5
00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:18,537
Share a sleeping bag.
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I'm not sure I'm ready to be a dad.
7
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Maybe I should just stay in town,
8
00:00:23,710 --> 00:00:25,043
you know, talk to Tommy,
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father to ex-father.
10
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Yeah, bad idea.
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Grab my shit. We gotta roll.
12
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Hey, Vivian.
13
00:00:33,823 --> 00:00:35,720
Um, you're probably
putting Clark to bed.
14
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Please call me if you get the
15
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:39,248
paternity results in the mail today.
16
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I mean, I can't get romantic
on this romantic weekend
17
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unless I know who the father is.
18
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Okay, so,
19
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I need you to drink this wine,
20
00:00:46,604 --> 00:00:48,003
and when you're done soaking,
21
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put on this underwear
and this blindfold.
22
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Tonight is gonna be 50 shades of great.
23
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Ooh.
24
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Seriously, please call me.
25
00:01:01,051 --> 00:01:02,718
Okay, just a little further.
26
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,019
Okay.
27
00:01:04,021 --> 00:01:05,854
Oh, my Gosh. I'm getting nervous.
28
00:01:05,856 --> 00:01:07,155
- Don't be. Don't be.
- Okay.
29
00:01:07,157 --> 00:01:08,724
- I shouldn't be nervous?
- No.
30
00:01:08,726 --> 00:01:10,425
- Okay.
- Trust me.
31
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Okay, a little further,
further, further.
32
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And... stop.
33
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- Oh, whoa. Whoa.
- Okay.
34
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All right.
35
00:01:22,439 --> 00:01:23,538
And...
36
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Ah.
37
00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:27,776
Surprise!
38
00:01:28,912 --> 00:01:30,269
What's going on?
39
00:01:30,275 --> 00:01:31,896
We're getting married.
40
00:01:31,902 --> 00:01:33,782
Honey, what's the worst
part of a wedding?
41
00:01:33,784 --> 00:01:35,022
The stress. Picking a date.
42
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,351
Planning it. Paying for it.
43
00:01:36,353 --> 00:01:37,786
I think that's why you've
been so anxious lately.
44
00:01:37,788 --> 00:01:39,418
But we can avoid all of that
45
00:01:39,424 --> 00:01:41,556
by having our own ceremony, together,
46
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here, tonight.
47
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- Tonight.
- We'll exchange our vows...
48
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I wrote mine while you were
having a bit of a soak.
49
00:01:47,331 --> 00:01:48,653
I could probably edit them a touch.
50
00:01:48,659 --> 00:01:50,610
Went down a bit of a rabbit
hole comparing my love
51
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for you with the migration
patterns of geese.
52
00:01:52,375 --> 00:01:54,167
It ends in a beautiful
haiku, except, not unlike
53
00:01:54,173 --> 00:01:55,704
the geese, bit of a
journey to get there.
54
00:01:55,706 --> 00:01:57,906
Anyways, after vows, then we will kiss
55
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and then we will exchange these rings
56
00:02:00,310 --> 00:02:01,639
that I got on Etsy.
57
00:02:01,645 --> 00:02:04,312
They're made of distressed barn wood.
58
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That's my favorite kind of wood.
59
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I know.
60
00:02:10,285 --> 00:02:11,718
Of course, nothing's official
61
00:02:11,724 --> 00:02:13,084
till we go to the courthouse on Monday,
62
00:02:13,090 --> 00:02:14,356
but I didn't want to wait any longer.
63
00:02:14,358 --> 00:02:15,991
I love you, and I want to spend
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00:02:15,993 --> 00:02:18,193
the rest of my life
with you and our son.
65
00:02:19,096 --> 00:02:22,531
Nikki, when a goose feels
the first chill of winter...
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I'm sorry.
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00:02:24,131 --> 00:02:26,234
I promised myself I'd
save it for the ceremony.
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00:02:26,236 --> 00:02:27,703
Well, we...
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I'll go write my vows now.
70
00:02:29,473 --> 00:02:30,503
Okay. Great.
71
00:02:30,509 --> 00:02:31,773
Well, I will light some candles.
72
00:02:31,775 --> 00:02:33,075
Uh, this is gonna be perfect.
73
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Just the two of us.
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00:02:34,504 --> 00:02:36,211
Asking Vivian to watch
the baby this weekend
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00:02:36,213 --> 00:02:37,612
might have been the best
idea I've ever had.
76
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,282
You're gonna have to drive faster
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if we want to get out
of town with this baby
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00:02:52,896 --> 00:02:54,496
sometime this month.
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00:02:55,076 --> 00:02:56,965
I'm not driving too fast
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00:02:56,967 --> 00:02:59,616
until I get some fresh
beans in that bag.
81
00:02:59,622 --> 00:03:00,936
Where are we going, by the way?
82
00:03:00,938 --> 00:03:02,037
I don't have a lot of gas.
83
00:03:02,039 --> 00:03:03,338
Or money for gas.
84
00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:05,675
Well, I got my tips from today,
85
00:03:05,681 --> 00:03:07,214
but they're not great.
86
00:03:07,511 --> 00:03:09,511
Tommy bought some oysters
out of a guy's briefcase.
87
00:03:09,513 --> 00:03:11,813
People were throwing up
before the bill came.
88
00:03:14,418 --> 00:03:16,051
Actually, you know what? Turn around.
89
00:03:16,053 --> 00:03:17,586
I think I left some money at work.
90
00:03:21,725 --> 00:03:25,160
♪ I have a feeling ♪
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Vivian, it's me again.
Why aren't you picking up?
92
00:03:30,534 --> 00:03:33,068
Um, okay, so I'm gonna need
you to call the beach house
93
00:03:33,070 --> 00:03:35,303
and just make up an
excuse so I can leave,
94
00:03:35,305 --> 00:03:38,406
because Tommy just sprang
a surprise wedding on me.
95
00:03:38,408 --> 00:03:41,243
So, right now, I'm sitting
in a wedding dress,
96
00:03:41,245 --> 00:03:43,712
on the same bed where
I slept with Bodhi.
97
00:03:52,027 --> 00:03:53,293
Okay, look,
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00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,100
if you get this message, don't call the
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00:03:55,106 --> 00:03:56,667
beach house. Don't call the beach house.
100
00:03:56,673 --> 00:03:58,142
I'm gonna make up an excuse and
101
00:03:58,148 --> 00:03:59,761
come get Clark so I can stall.
102
00:03:59,763 --> 00:04:01,821
Vivian called. She can't burp Clark,
103
00:04:01,827 --> 00:04:03,337
and she's afraid he's gonna explode.
104
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:05,963
So, hopefully, I won't have
to bring him home with me.
105
00:04:05,969 --> 00:04:08,270
Uh, but you've been drinking.
106
00:04:08,772 --> 00:04:10,572
I'll... walk.
107
00:04:11,129 --> 00:04:12,362
All right, well, walk slow.
108
00:04:12,368 --> 00:04:13,834
We don't need you getting too sweaty.
109
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,306
We're gonna spend the rest of our lives
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00:04:15,312 --> 00:04:16,845
looking at these wedding selfies.
111
00:04:41,778 --> 00:04:44,750
_
112
00:04:49,847 --> 00:04:51,112
Where are you going?
113
00:04:51,114 --> 00:04:53,315
I-I'm walking. It's faster.
114
00:04:54,751 --> 00:04:56,218
Hey, buddy,
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00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:58,987
we got a slight bend in
the road coming up, okay?
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If you've developed core muscles,
117
00:05:00,357 --> 00:05:01,919
you're gonna want to engage them.
118
00:05:18,575 --> 00:05:21,109
What the hell are you
assholes doing here?
119
00:05:21,111 --> 00:05:23,178
Where's Eddie?
120
00:05:23,180 --> 00:05:25,209
Eddie? Bitch, I know a lot of Eddies.
121
00:05:25,215 --> 00:05:27,682
You gonna have to be
more specific than that.
122
00:05:33,573 --> 00:05:35,506
Come on, Tickles. Where's Eddie?
123
00:05:35,508 --> 00:05:37,475
Um, I don't go by that name anymore,
124
00:05:37,477 --> 00:05:39,701
and how the hell should
I know where Eddie is?
125
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,540
Because you threatened him.
126
00:05:41,546 --> 00:05:43,713
- Said who?
- Said him.
127
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:45,324
When Eddie lived in the mountains,
128
00:05:45,330 --> 00:05:47,933
I could always count on him
to cheer me up with a joke.
129
00:05:47,939 --> 00:05:49,487
And then the pirate says,
130
00:05:49,489 --> 00:05:51,889
"Arrgh. You're driving me nuts."
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Hi. I'm Tickles.
132
00:05:56,308 --> 00:05:58,875
A private dance at your table is $10,
133
00:05:58,877 --> 00:06:00,610
but if you want to order off the menu,
134
00:06:00,612 --> 00:06:02,845
I'll blow you in the supply closet.
135
00:06:02,847 --> 00:06:04,687
We also have mozzarella sticks.
136
00:06:04,693 --> 00:06:06,626
But after you guys moved to the beach,
137
00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:08,432
Eddie had to cheer me up over the phone.
138
00:06:08,438 --> 00:06:11,005
So, what did Cinderella say
when she got to the ball?
139
00:06:11,011 --> 00:06:12,351
What?
140
00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:15,329
Eddie!
141
00:06:15,337 --> 00:06:16,637
- I gotta go.
- Okay.
142
00:06:16,639 --> 00:06:17,905
No matter when I called,
143
00:06:17,907 --> 00:06:19,840
Eddie was always there for me.
144
00:06:19,842 --> 00:06:21,241
... Then the dad says,
145
00:06:21,243 --> 00:06:24,111
"We call ourselves the Aristocrats!"
146
00:06:25,781 --> 00:06:27,581
Okay, yeah. Well, I gotta go.
147
00:06:27,583 --> 00:06:29,016
But a few days ago,
148
00:06:29,018 --> 00:06:30,784
Eddie was the one who
needed cheering up.
149
00:06:30,786 --> 00:06:32,920
And I will stuff your
balls in your butt!
150
00:06:34,857 --> 00:06:36,190
Hey, man. Get this.
151
00:06:36,192 --> 00:06:37,724
Your stepmother just threatened
152
00:06:37,726 --> 00:06:39,159
to put my balls in my butt.
153
00:06:39,161 --> 00:06:40,661
Is that even possible?
154
00:06:40,663 --> 00:06:42,429
I don't know, but I
don't want to find out.
155
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:43,697
I hear you.
156
00:06:43,768 --> 00:06:45,368
- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
157
00:06:45,374 --> 00:06:46,640
Smell mop.
158
00:06:46,646 --> 00:06:47,734
Smell mop who?
159
00:06:47,736 --> 00:06:48,936
Uh, no thank you!
160
00:06:50,906 --> 00:06:52,906
This morning, I had
another one of my fish
161
00:06:52,908 --> 00:06:54,208
unexpectedly die on me,
162
00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:56,143
But when I called Eddie,
he didn't pick up.
163
00:06:56,145 --> 00:06:57,978
So, we decided to come
down here to the beach
164
00:06:57,980 --> 00:07:00,102
and make sure you hadn't
done nothin' to him.
165
00:07:00,108 --> 00:07:03,443
Did you stuff my nephew's
nuts in his pooper?
166
00:07:03,953 --> 00:07:06,520
I didn't touch anyone's nuts.
167
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:07,926
We all know that's bullshit.
168
00:07:07,932 --> 00:07:10,757
Shut up! I have changed, okay?
169
00:07:10,759 --> 00:07:13,380
In fact, I have a boyfriend now
170
00:07:13,386 --> 00:07:15,963
who I haven't even had sex with yet,
171
00:07:15,965 --> 00:07:18,432
because he is waiting for the best time
172
00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:19,933
to make the first move.
173
00:07:19,935 --> 00:07:23,303
Speaking of which, I am late for a date.
174
00:07:23,305 --> 00:07:24,616
Now, hold on.
175
00:07:24,622 --> 00:07:25,955
The last thing Frank heard from Eddie
176
00:07:25,961 --> 00:07:27,193
was that you threatened him.
177
00:07:27,199 --> 00:07:28,876
What were the two of you arguing about?
178
00:07:28,878 --> 00:07:30,210
None of your business.
179
00:07:30,212 --> 00:07:31,912
And you can't just hold me hostage here.
180
00:07:31,914 --> 00:07:33,780
I told you she wasn't gonna say anything
181
00:07:33,782 --> 00:07:35,367
unless we torture her.
182
00:07:35,517 --> 00:07:38,118
- All we want is some answers.
- You want answers?
183
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,287
Give me my pruning shears back.
184
00:07:40,289 --> 00:07:42,294
It's not happening.
185
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:44,591
But I can't let you leave until
I get a written statement,
186
00:07:44,593 --> 00:07:46,012
telling me everything you've done
187
00:07:46,018 --> 00:07:47,647
since the last time you saw Eddie.
188
00:07:48,664 --> 00:07:49,963
This is bullshit!
189
00:07:49,965 --> 00:07:52,132
Eddie probably just got high
190
00:07:52,134 --> 00:07:54,134
and wandered off somewhere.
191
00:07:54,136 --> 00:07:57,237
He could be halfway around
the world for all we know.
192
00:08:13,977 --> 00:08:16,450
_
193
00:08:21,263 --> 00:08:22,829
Aah!
194
00:08:26,168 --> 00:08:27,831
Hello?
195
00:08:27,837 --> 00:08:29,170
You're not gonna believe this.
196
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,071
My mother has the entire house wired
197
00:08:31,073 --> 00:08:33,740
- with hidden security cameras.
- What?
198
00:08:33,742 --> 00:08:35,842
She must know that I've been
renting the house off the books
199
00:08:35,844 --> 00:08:37,978
and she's just waiting
to rub my nose in it
200
00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:40,314
by watching these recordings
next time she visits.
201
00:08:40,316 --> 00:08:42,349
Wait, so everything at that house
202
00:08:42,351 --> 00:08:44,117
is being recorded?
203
00:08:44,119 --> 00:08:45,880
How long does the footage go back?
204
00:08:45,886 --> 00:08:47,052
I'm not sure.
205
00:08:47,058 --> 00:08:48,621
I'm just working my way
through right now,
206
00:08:48,627 --> 00:08:50,157
trying to delete
everybody who paid cash.
207
00:08:50,159 --> 00:08:51,626
But, given the size of this DVR,
208
00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,398
I mean, I think it goes back a long way.
209
00:08:53,404 --> 00:08:55,605
Oh, I'm gonna see if I
can find some footage
210
00:08:55,611 --> 00:08:58,012
of that crazy party those
guys threw a year ago,
211
00:08:58,014 --> 00:08:59,813
when some of the
knickknacks went missing.
212
00:08:59,815 --> 00:09:01,697
Maybe I can get a lead on where that
213
00:09:01,703 --> 00:09:03,637
cat driving a fish wandered off to.
214
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,628
Anyway, see you soon.
215
00:09:19,944 --> 00:09:22,978
Hey, anybody want any oysters?
216
00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,981
There's a whole briefcase
full of them in the fridge.
217
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:27,817
- No thanks.
- They look like snot.
218
00:09:27,819 --> 00:09:30,286
Suit yourself. More for me.
219
00:09:32,290 --> 00:09:34,223
Mmm.
220
00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:51,255
Look, I-I made a mistake, okay?
221
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:54,392
I... I just was freaking out a little
222
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,427
about life and getting older.
223
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,673
So, I went to this party
224
00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,198
and I... took drugs, ugh!
225
00:10:01,204 --> 00:10:02,871
And I drank way too much.
226
00:10:02,877 --> 00:10:05,380
And, honestly, this thing
with Bodhi, it meant nothing.
227
00:10:05,386 --> 00:10:06,754
I don't even remember it.
228
00:10:06,756 --> 00:10:08,613
Really? You don't remember anything?
229
00:10:08,619 --> 00:10:10,658
No. That's why I didn't say anything.
230
00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:12,892
Well, allow me to remind you.
231
00:10:13,027 --> 00:10:15,696
'Cause the cameras were not
just in the living room.
232
00:10:19,902 --> 00:10:22,077
Tommy, please, I don't
want to watch this.
233
00:10:22,083 --> 00:10:23,736
I didn't want to watch
it, either, Nikki.
234
00:10:23,742 --> 00:10:24,975
But I did.
235
00:10:24,981 --> 00:10:26,914
Tommy, I love you so much.
236
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,553
I'm so sorry.
237
00:10:28,570 --> 00:10:31,304
I just didn't want to hurt
you if I didn't have to.
238
00:10:31,306 --> 00:10:33,706
And I know how much
you love being a father,
239
00:10:33,708 --> 00:10:35,175
s-so I...
240
00:10:44,986 --> 00:10:46,853
Nothing happened.
241
00:10:48,986 --> 00:10:50,885
Nothing happened.
242
00:10:50,891 --> 00:10:52,391
Nothing happened?!
243
00:10:52,594 --> 00:10:55,974
Nikki, you slept this close
next to another naked dong.
244
00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:57,564
That hurts.
245
00:10:57,566 --> 00:10:59,632
We have a child together,
for crying out loud.
246
00:11:00,312 --> 00:11:01,868
Yes, we do.
247
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,236
We have a child.
248
00:11:03,238 --> 00:11:05,939
Ours. Yours and mine.
249
00:11:05,941 --> 00:11:07,840
No doubt about it.
250
00:11:16,189 --> 00:11:18,189
I love you.
251
00:11:18,787 --> 00:11:20,687
And I want to marry you.
252
00:11:22,442 --> 00:11:24,742
Okay, wow.
253
00:11:24,926 --> 00:11:26,492
I love you, too.
254
00:11:26,702 --> 00:11:28,902
This is gonna sting for a little while.
255
00:11:29,348 --> 00:11:31,014
You know me, my heart bruises
256
00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:32,887
like a banana in a washing machine.
257
00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:46,072
Well, uh, I... I think
the worst is over.
258
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,581
No, no, it's not over.
259
00:11:48,587 --> 00:11:49,864
- Hello?
- Oh!
260
00:11:49,870 --> 00:11:51,070
Hi.
261
00:11:51,076 --> 00:11:52,957
Um, I-I'm trying to reach my husband.
262
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:54,383
He's one of the Doctors Without Borders
263
00:11:54,389 --> 00:11:55,455
and this is his phone.
264
00:11:55,457 --> 00:11:57,687
Do you speak any English?
265
00:11:57,693 --> 00:12:01,649
Is... Dr....Brown... there?
266
00:12:03,566 --> 00:12:05,188
No, that's a brown doctor.
267
00:12:05,194 --> 00:12:06,844
I'm looking for Dr. Brown.
268
00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:08,367
I need to ask him what to do
269
00:12:08,373 --> 00:12:10,173
if someone has food poisoning.
270
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:17,210
How you doing, Vivian?
271
00:12:18,755 --> 00:12:20,154
Buddy.
272
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,280
Thank God.
273
00:12:21,286 --> 00:12:22,382
How you doing?
274
00:12:22,384 --> 00:12:23,616
Why are you sweating?
275
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:25,852
I'm fine. I was running
around looking for Vivian
276
00:12:25,854 --> 00:12:28,421
when I saw Officer Leahy's police
car parked across the street.
277
00:12:28,423 --> 00:12:29,656
Why were you looking for Vivian?
278
00:12:29,658 --> 00:12:31,124
Oh!
279
00:12:34,729 --> 00:12:38,464
Aw, shit. Look who's in charge now.
280
00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:40,433
Kimberly? You there?
281
00:12:40,814 --> 00:12:42,714
I don't think I can play S.
282
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,321
There has been an Ebola outbreak.
283
00:12:54,202 --> 00:12:56,045
Mom, put the gun down.
284
00:12:56,051 --> 00:12:58,885
You're a lot of things,
but you're not a killer.
285
00:12:58,887 --> 00:13:00,961
Bullshit. She tried to kill me.
286
00:13:00,967 --> 00:13:02,500
Kill you?
287
00:13:02,506 --> 00:13:05,058
I drilled holes in the box, you asshole.
288
00:13:05,060 --> 00:13:08,928
You are supposed to be
safe and sound in Russia
289
00:13:08,930 --> 00:13:11,131
where you can't screw things up for me.
290
00:13:11,133 --> 00:13:13,605
This is why the post office
291
00:13:13,611 --> 00:13:15,468
deserves to go out of business.
292
00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:17,904
Kim, I can kind of hear
people, but I can't see.
293
00:13:17,906 --> 00:13:19,506
I think you might have left the TV on.
294
00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:20,949
If someone would have given
295
00:13:20,955 --> 00:13:22,442
me my pruning shears back,
296
00:13:22,444 --> 00:13:23,977
we wouldn't be in this situation.
297
00:13:23,979 --> 00:13:26,780
Everybody, just shut up so I can think!
298
00:13:29,669 --> 00:13:31,599
Was that a vagina?
299
00:13:36,058 --> 00:13:37,190
Eddie?
300
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:38,725
What's going on?
301
00:13:38,727 --> 00:13:39,893
Nothing.
302
00:13:39,895 --> 00:13:42,606
Where is the baby?
Fell asleep in the van.
303
00:13:42,612 --> 00:13:44,264
What's wrong with that police woman?
304
00:13:44,266 --> 00:13:46,132
She's... drunk.
305
00:13:46,134 --> 00:13:47,500
She's not drunk.
306
00:13:47,502 --> 00:13:48,902
And Vivian's not who you think she is.
307
00:13:48,904 --> 00:13:50,437
Shut up! You don't say another word.
308
00:13:50,439 --> 00:13:52,105
Uh, that's definitely a vagina.
309
00:13:52,107 --> 00:13:53,206
Shut up!
310
00:13:55,010 --> 00:13:57,009
Take it easy, Tickles.
311
00:13:57,015 --> 00:13:58,314
Who's Tickles?!
312
00:13:58,346 --> 00:14:00,613
I'm Tickles! Okay?
313
00:14:00,619 --> 00:14:01,985
I'm Tickles.
314
00:14:03,285 --> 00:14:04,718
I thought I could move to the beach
315
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,331
and reinvent myself,
but who am I kidding?
316
00:14:07,337 --> 00:14:09,189
But I wasn't always like this, Bodhi.
317
00:14:09,191 --> 00:14:10,557
I wasn't.
318
00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:13,026
I actually had all "B"s
and "C"s in high school
319
00:14:13,028 --> 00:14:14,828
before my best friend, Libby,
talked me into dropping out
320
00:14:14,830 --> 00:14:16,959
to follow Nickelback around the country.
321
00:14:16,965 --> 00:14:18,298
To make money,
322
00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:20,633
I would sew patches on people's
jeans in the parking lot
323
00:14:20,635 --> 00:14:22,569
while Libby blew guys in the
back of her PT Cruiser.
324
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:25,238
And let's just say the
knob-gobbin' business
325
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,308
turned out to be a lot more
lucrative than patches.
326
00:14:28,310 --> 00:14:29,909
And that's when I realized
327
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:33,046
all people really want in life is sex.
328
00:14:33,048 --> 00:14:36,149
So, when Nickel B was
playing a show in NYC city,
329
00:14:36,151 --> 00:14:38,918
I popped into a strip club
on an open pole night.
330
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,909
I made $47,
331
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,323
and I never went back
332
00:14:43,325 --> 00:14:44,991
to sewing patches on jeans again.
333
00:14:46,142 --> 00:14:47,949
I was living the dream
334
00:14:48,330 --> 00:14:49,929
till the stock market crashed
335
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,844
and guys weren't making it rain anymore.
336
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:53,299
I was busting my hump
337
00:14:53,301 --> 00:14:54,701
just to squeeze out a drizzle.
338
00:14:54,703 --> 00:14:55,902
And that is not just a saying.
339
00:14:55,904 --> 00:14:57,303
I actually have a slight hump,
340
00:14:57,305 --> 00:14:58,571
and it got very damaged one night
341
00:14:58,573 --> 00:15:00,106
when I tried to do a back handspring
342
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,174
during a Motley Crue song.
343
00:15:01,176 --> 00:15:02,931
So, I moved to the mountains
344
00:15:02,937 --> 00:15:04,411
where rent was cheap,
345
00:15:04,413 --> 00:15:05,812
and I decided to open my own club.
346
00:15:05,814 --> 00:15:08,047
But owning a business
just, like, turned out
347
00:15:08,049 --> 00:15:09,649
to be a lot harder than I thought.
348
00:15:09,651 --> 00:15:11,651
- Wilfrid?
- And before I knew it,
349
00:15:11,653 --> 00:15:14,254
I was jerking off guys
in the supply closet
350
00:15:14,256 --> 00:15:15,588
just to keep the lights on.
351
00:15:15,590 --> 00:15:17,090
And, Bodhi, you can look at me
352
00:15:17,092 --> 00:15:20,026
with that deer-in-the-headlights
judgement in your eyes
353
00:15:20,028 --> 00:15:21,161
all you want.
354
00:15:21,163 --> 00:15:22,562
It doesn't bother me.
355
00:15:22,564 --> 00:15:24,898
I see those same judging eyes
356
00:15:24,900 --> 00:15:27,400
every time I look in the mirror.
357
00:15:27,402 --> 00:15:28,668
I promise you,
358
00:15:28,670 --> 00:15:29,780
you can't hate me
359
00:15:29,786 --> 00:15:31,886
any more than I hate myself.
360
00:15:34,576 --> 00:15:35,842
Ohh!
361
00:15:35,844 --> 00:15:37,777
Aah!
362
00:15:37,779 --> 00:15:40,947
Oh, you gotta be shitting me!
363
00:15:43,764 --> 00:15:46,753
♪ That's the truth about the truth ♪
364
00:15:46,755 --> 00:15:49,923
♪ It don't matter what you do ♪
365
00:15:49,925 --> 00:15:51,891
♪ It's gonna bust on through ♪
366
00:15:51,893 --> 00:15:54,961
♪ That's the truth about the truth ♪
367
00:15:55,897 --> 00:15:58,731
♪ You can hide behind a lie ♪
368
00:15:58,733 --> 00:16:01,134
♪ Put on some brand-new disguise ♪
369
00:16:01,136 --> 00:16:03,870
♪ Before you crack,
you're cracking wise ♪
370
00:16:03,872 --> 00:16:06,606
♪ And acting like you made it ♪
371
00:16:07,915 --> 00:16:11,144
♪ But, honey, don't it eat at you? ♪
372
00:16:11,146 --> 00:16:13,780
♪ Cut you up and make you stew ♪
373
00:16:13,782 --> 00:16:15,815
♪ Think of what it puts you through ♪
374
00:16:15,817 --> 00:16:19,185
- _
- ♪ Before it makes you jaded ♪
375
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:22,555
♪ That's the truth about the truth ♪
376
00:16:22,557 --> 00:16:25,425
♪ It don't matter what you do ♪
377
00:16:25,427 --> 00:16:27,260
♪ It's gonna bust on through ♪
378
00:16:27,262 --> 00:16:29,996
♪ That's the truth about the truth ♪
379
00:16:29,998 --> 00:16:33,967
♪ No one said it'd feel that great ♪
380
00:16:33,969 --> 00:16:36,769
- _
- ♪ Bring you peace, make you a saint ♪
381
00:16:36,771 --> 00:16:39,606
♪ All that mess that's on your plate ♪
382
00:16:39,608 --> 00:16:42,242
♪ It ain't going nowhere ♪
383
00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:46,179
♪ But there's some joy
that truth can bring ♪
384
00:16:46,181 --> 00:16:48,915
♪ 'Cause lies, they ain't
a weightless thing ♪
385
00:16:48,917 --> 00:16:51,684
♪ They pull you down,
they cut and sting ♪
386
00:16:51,686 --> 00:16:54,754
♪ They leave you lost and lonely ♪
387
00:16:54,756 --> 00:16:57,624
♪ That's the truth about the truth ♪
388
00:16:57,626 --> 00:17:00,627
♪ It don't matter what you do ♪
389
00:17:00,629 --> 00:17:02,929
♪ It's gonna bust on through ♪
390
00:17:02,931 --> 00:17:06,165
♪ That's the truth about the truth ♪
391
00:17:08,621 --> 00:17:09,703
Ahh.
392
00:17:09,709 --> 00:17:11,208
I'm gonna miss you, buddy.
393
00:17:11,214 --> 00:17:13,081
I'm gonna miss you, too.
394
00:17:13,087 --> 00:17:14,997
I hate to leave the
beach, but entering the
395
00:17:15,003 --> 00:17:16,776
corporate world has always been a dream.
396
00:17:16,778 --> 00:17:18,144
I can't believe someone wants me
397
00:17:18,146 --> 00:17:20,095
for their Assistant
Manager Trainee Program.
398
00:17:20,101 --> 00:17:21,247
I can.
399
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:22,515
Ever since I saw you drop
400
00:17:22,517 --> 00:17:24,017
that whole bucket of chicken
401
00:17:24,019 --> 00:17:25,852
and take the time to pick out
402
00:17:25,854 --> 00:17:27,487
every single piece of gravel
403
00:17:27,489 --> 00:17:29,261
before you delivered it...
404
00:17:29,991 --> 00:17:32,425
... I knew you were
assistant manager material.
405
00:17:36,296 --> 00:17:37,795
Don't start.
406
00:17:37,801 --> 00:17:39,332
Don't you start.
407
00:17:40,575 --> 00:17:43,403
♪ Now you doubled up on it ♪
408
00:17:43,405 --> 00:17:46,205
♪ Your trouble stacked
with your bullshit ♪
409
00:17:46,207 --> 00:17:48,708
♪ Things got better for a bit ♪
410
00:17:48,710 --> 00:17:51,945
♪ Now it's back to your old self ♪
411
00:17:51,947 --> 00:17:55,048
♪ That's the truth about the truth ♪
412
00:17:55,050 --> 00:17:57,984
♪ Don't matter what you do ♪
413
00:17:57,986 --> 00:18:00,086
♪ It's gonna bust on through ♪
414
00:18:00,088 --> 00:18:02,889
♪ That's the truth about the truth ♪
415
00:18:02,891 --> 00:18:06,668
♪ That's the truth about the truth ♪
416
00:18:21,543 --> 00:18:23,376
What are you doing here?
417
00:18:23,378 --> 00:18:24,644
I went to the prison,
418
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,980
but the guard said
you were already gone.
419
00:18:26,982 --> 00:18:28,445
The guard said you mentioned
420
00:18:28,451 --> 00:18:30,116
heading back to the mountains,
421
00:18:30,118 --> 00:18:31,904
so I... I took a shot.
422
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:33,019
Why?
423
00:18:33,021 --> 00:18:34,887
Why would you come all the way...
424
00:18:34,889 --> 00:18:36,390
I wanted to talk more about all that
425
00:18:36,396 --> 00:18:38,057
stuff you said before you got arrested
426
00:18:38,059 --> 00:18:39,425
and speared in the boob by that marlin.
427
00:18:39,427 --> 00:18:41,027
You know, all that stuff about
428
00:18:41,029 --> 00:18:42,356
working at a strip club
429
00:18:42,362 --> 00:18:44,259
and jerking off all those
guys in that storage room.
430
00:18:44,265 --> 00:18:45,751
Yeah, I get it. I'm a bad person.
431
00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:47,257
No, that's just it.
432
00:18:47,263 --> 00:18:48,929
I don't think you are.
433
00:18:48,935 --> 00:18:52,770
At least, I don't want
to believe you are.
434
00:18:52,843 --> 00:18:55,311
- I can't.
- What are you talking about?
435
00:18:55,317 --> 00:18:58,618
Look, when you revealed all
that stuff about yourself,
436
00:18:58,624 --> 00:18:59,846
I didn't know what to say,
437
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,314
because it all sounded so familiar.
438
00:19:01,316 --> 00:19:03,916
I had all "C"s and "B"s
in community college
439
00:19:03,918 --> 00:19:06,452
when I saw Matthew
McConaughey in "Magic Mike,"
440
00:19:06,454 --> 00:19:08,421
and my world changed forever.
441
00:19:08,423 --> 00:19:10,757
I secretly started
working at a strip club
442
00:19:10,759 --> 00:19:12,872
where the club made the
guys dress as characters,
443
00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:15,777
like police man, fire man,
444
00:19:15,783 --> 00:19:18,444
trash man, sales man,
445
00:19:18,933 --> 00:19:21,394
medicine man, con man,
446
00:19:21,690 --> 00:19:24,586
handy man, milk man,
447
00:19:24,739 --> 00:19:27,970
space man, cave man.
448
00:19:27,976 --> 00:19:29,380
Basically, anything with
449
00:19:29,386 --> 00:19:30,843
"man" in it was recommended.
450
00:19:30,845 --> 00:19:32,629
I dressed up like a business man.
451
00:19:32,635 --> 00:19:34,047
Only, to make it sexy,
452
00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:36,049
I put my junk in a dress sock
453
00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:37,758
and I pulled it through
the fly in my pants
454
00:19:37,764 --> 00:19:40,689
so it would, you know,
flop around, you know?
455
00:19:40,969 --> 00:19:42,935
Touching was against the law,
456
00:19:43,024 --> 00:19:45,391
but as Matty Mack says in "Magic Mike,"
457
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:48,561
"There's a lot of law
breakers out there."
458
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:49,962
Then, one afternoon,
459
00:19:49,964 --> 00:19:52,799
I came home during my
mother's new book club
460
00:19:53,171 --> 00:19:55,189
to find myself face to face
461
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:57,003
with a room full of 50-year-old women
462
00:19:57,005 --> 00:19:58,743
who had all had my cock-filled
463
00:19:58,749 --> 00:20:00,306
dress sock in their hand.
464
00:20:00,308 --> 00:20:02,215
In some cases, worse.
465
00:20:02,221 --> 00:20:03,744
I was horrified.
466
00:20:03,978 --> 00:20:05,845
I mean, every bad thing I had ever done
467
00:20:05,847 --> 00:20:07,313
was sitting in my living room,
468
00:20:07,315 --> 00:20:10,104
talking to my mother about Dean Koontz.
469
00:20:10,719 --> 00:20:12,385
So, I left town.
470
00:20:12,387 --> 00:20:15,354
And I went to the beach
to make a fresh start.
471
00:20:17,892 --> 00:20:22,299
Vivian, I never made
a move on you because...
472
00:20:23,394 --> 00:20:25,264
I don't make moves on anyone.
473
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:26,766
I don't want to fall for someone
474
00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,134
and have to keep my past a secret,
475
00:20:28,136 --> 00:20:30,136
and I didn't think anyone would want me
476
00:20:30,138 --> 00:20:31,938
if they knew I was damaged goods.
477
00:20:32,426 --> 00:20:35,026
But if I can believe
that you're a good person
478
00:20:35,032 --> 00:20:38,244
and you just happened to do
some bad things, then...
479
00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:41,448
Maybe I can believe that about myself.
480
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:44,089
And if I believe it, then
481
00:20:44,931 --> 00:20:47,186
maybe somebody else will, too.
482
00:20:48,973 --> 00:20:50,273
I believe it.
483
00:21:05,707 --> 00:21:09,175
So, where should we go?
484
00:21:09,177 --> 00:21:12,378
Anywhere we can make a fresh start.
485
00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:17,083
♪ Wherever we go ♪
486
00:21:17,085 --> 00:21:20,052
♪ That's fine by me ♪
487
00:21:20,054 --> 00:21:22,655
♪ We'll settle our bones ♪
488
00:21:22,657 --> 00:21:24,229
♪ Eventually ♪
489
00:21:24,235 --> 00:21:25,467
♪ Yeah, I need a break ♪
490
00:21:25,473 --> 00:21:26,805
♪ I need a minute ♪
491
00:21:26,811 --> 00:21:28,911
♪ Just give me one day ♪
492
00:21:28,917 --> 00:21:30,259
All right, there you go.
493
00:21:30,265 --> 00:21:31,998
Unh-unh. He'll lose 'em.
494
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,966
You're actually gonna
be our last renters.
495
00:21:33,968 --> 00:21:35,368
The house was my mother's
income property,
496
00:21:35,370 --> 00:21:36,836
but she passed away a few months ago
497
00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:39,014
- and left it to me in her will.
- Oh.
498
00:21:39,020 --> 00:21:40,553
I was actually third in position,
499
00:21:40,559 --> 00:21:42,271
behind her new boyfriend and her cat.
500
00:21:42,277 --> 00:21:44,076
But, luckily for me, they
were on the plane with her.
501
00:21:44,078 --> 00:21:46,212
So... anyway, enjoy.
502
00:21:47,961 --> 00:21:52,890
- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
35698
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