Original subtitles

Chris?

Chris!

Hello?

Nora?

Hello?

Nora, hello.

Mm, it's Sonia.

I think Chris is going to propose to me.

Son hello?

Hello.

Mm, ah Son I can't really hear you,

call me back when you have better reception.

I never wanted to get married.

I mean I had nothing against it, per say.

It's just, it was never a fantasy of mine,

and no my parents aren't divorced

and I'm not emotionally damaged.

I grew up in a crowded apartment in Brooklyn.

That's mom,

grandma,

dad,

and me.

I always had the nagging sense that life was short

and I really wanted to be somebody.

Preferably someone who died tragically young,

leaving behind a trail of grieving fans,

and lovers.

I just can't believe it.

Sonia this is a good thing.

I know, I know it's just I don't think I'm ready for this.

I'm not wife material.

Look Sonia if you're really not ready just go in there

and talk to him.

No, no, no, he's got a whole thing in there,

it's beautiful.

Um you know what?

I know what I'll do.

I, I, I'm gonna say yes now and then

I'm just gonna tell him that I'm not ready later,

that's what I'll do.

Chris.

I'm so sorry, I just saw the um,

and I, umm, I, I panicked.

Panicked?

Not panicked, but I freaked out.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.

It's fine, just uh...

Ow, ow.

Hey this is Chris.

Leave a message.

Hi Chris, it's me.

I'm so sorry,

will you please call me when you can.

I love you, okay.

Hello?

Hi.

Oh.

You know, it's so beautiful, I'm such a moron.

Did you run here? Mhm.

Hi. ALL: Hi.

Oh, poppy's are expensive.

He knew I liked them from your wedding.

Nora!

What, I'm pregnant!

And a bride!

These are my best friends.

We all went to high school together.

When we were younger romance seemed simple.

All you had to do was become a gorgeous,

independent, prostitute, and the rest would fall into place.

In college it turned out it wasn't PC

to want to be a prostitute.

Even one with as much self respect as Julia Roberts.

So we reshaped our priorities.

Like the lady's of Sex in The City,

we to were going to make the most

of our twenties and thirties.

But it turned out to be pretty hard,

juggling our budding careers and a social life,

and soon we all had boyfriends.

And then suddenly Lee married a guy who's

fortieth birthday she'd organized

for her party planning firm.

He designed it.

Anna married a guy from her yoga studio.

Nora's fiancé Mark was a friend of Chris's

and we'd introduced them only six months earlier.

I thought we were gonna wait

until we were at least thirty to get married.

We are thirty.

He'll call.

He'll definitely call.

Hello? Is that Mark?

Did he talk to Chris?

Did you talk to Chris? Ya.

And? And he's fucked up. This is fucked up.

You tell her about the candles?

Wha? Oh ya,

he says to tell her to put out the candles.

Okay, I love you so much.

Okay, I love you to.

K, bye.

What'd he say?

He told Mark to remind you to put out the candles.

Aww.

That's it?

He said he sounded pretty broken up.

God I want to be put into a coma.

Thank you. ♪ It had to be you

♪ I wandered around

No.

No, come on.

No, no.

No, no, no, I don't, I can't, I don't do that.

Come on, come on.

Oh, it's cool I didn't like those anyways.

Sorry.

It's alright.

Back, side two,

forward three,

side four. One.

How do you know how to do this?

Mark and I started a ballroom dancing club

in college to meet girls.

You did?

Ya.

What and?

One girl signed up.

And about seven other dudes.

So we mostly just danced with each other.

Oh my god.

I can't believe you had to start a dance club to meet girls.

I mean Mark, ya.

But you?

Wait, wait, wait.

Alright.

Hi.

I just sort of like, wasn't expecting it?, you know?

When we talked about it before I told you

that I wasn't really ready yet.

That was a year ago.

What?

But we hadn't really talked about it since then, you know?

I guess I just wanted to surprise you.

I thought you said it was stupid when people

talked all about it and went

and picked out the ring together,

and just acted like it was a big surprise.

Ha, ya, what were they thinking.

Sorry.

Sorry, they came over afterward.

So that wasn't a no yesterday?

No.

Well then what?

Do you just, need some time to think about it?

Ya, that'd be great, is, is that okay?

Sure.

Chocolate gives me gas so sue me.

I gotta go to, I'm gonna be late.

K, I'll see you later.

I'm sorry.

I'm such an asshole.

It's okay.

Probably just gonna die a few years younger now,

that's all.

I've been proposed to.

I've been proposed to.

I've been.

I've been proposed to?

And just like that, every doubt I've ever had about marriage

floated up in my brain,

like when people fish with dynamite.

I worried Chris and I weren't compatible enough.

Weren't they amazing?

The way they like seized their fate and they just,

really did their thing.

They died.

Well ya, but that's the price of really living.

But wouldn't you rather,

you know, live?

Two.

I worried, well frankly recently I

worried we didn't have enough sex.

Or the right kind of sex.

I think that's a two sheeter.

And three.

I always though that by the time I got married,

I would be different.

Better, more like a real woman, more accomplished,

cleaner, bolder, more like her.

Who was I kidding, I mean just look at her.

She's probably wearing a lady bra,

not a sports bra that gives her one flat uni boob.

She probably had her light gluten free breakfast.

She's obviously traveled all over.

Had loads of lovers.

Hi.

This is where I work.

We write music for commercials.

You know, like na-bis-co

but also background music you don't necessarily notice.

I try and compose as much as I can but my actual job

is assisting the other composers.

Morning.

I just need...

That's my boss Zack.

This, this is Christmas el.

Already?

Oh, and I put you on the baby wash job.

This is your bio and.

This is so great, thank you so much.

You are such a genius at this.

Yeah you are.

No seriously, this is like the most amazing

composing website I've ever seen.

Well it helped that you knew what you wanted.

Oh no, was I a Hitler client?

No, no, not Hitler.

Maybe Mussolini.

Well let me get you your check.

Hey, would you maybe want to get a drink?

Oh, I would love to but I'm in this complicated thing.

Understood. Sorry.

No, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, that was inappropriate.

I guess.

A little.

Thanks.

And good luck on everything.

Seriously, you're gonna be huge.

Thank you.

He's from Wisconsin.

Or Wyoming, somewhere in the mid west.

He really makes me laugh and I don't know.

He's a really nice guy.

He taught his grandma how to skype.

So why did you say no?

You said no?

Ladies.

And slide forward into upper facing dog.

I told him I was involved in a complicated situation.

There's nothing complicated about it,

Zack just uses you when he's lonely.

Okay, so remember my boss Zack?

He wasn't always just my boss.

In my defense, Zack was a really musician. lented.

Plus he traveled all over and had

these amazing stories,

like the time he saved

a little Indian boy from a snake bite,

and was given this sitar in gratitude.

Zack, Zachery?

I though you said that you broke up?

We did.

Shh, I'm so sorry, sorry.

Hi, I'm so sorry, I became really insecure

about the audition and-

I'm sorry.

I'm so embarrassed.

You should not be embarrassed.

I thought it was great.

It wahh, god.

I've never seen anything like that.

Ya, cuz it was terrible.

No!

I thought it was interesting.

And I thought your music was terrific.

Really?

Ya, absolutely, I thought it made the film.

You really think that?

A hundred percent.

You know, I'm kinda proud of it to.

Because this director had pushed me in this really

sort of modern, blagh, direction you know?

It's just all, scary sounds,

and there was no actual music music.

But I really wanted it to have an old fashioned

theme driven vibe you know like Hitchcock or like-

I was just gonna say that. Really?

That's how it felt. You were gonna say Hitchcock?

Yeah it felt like how did the theme every time the shark

came around-Yeah.

It went brrnnrrr and... am I butcherin' it?

What, no no no.

I just I can't sing.

You can't?

Yeah I don't I, it makes me very self conscious

singing, dancing.

Oh well you're a lot of fun.

Yeah, you know everyone at work makes fun of me for that

but I cannot do it, it makes me feel naked.

So what about singing in the shower?

Well there I'm already naked.

So my place or yours?

Ahh.

Just kidding but do you wanna come over?

Yeah, that'd be great.

So your parents are away?

Yep be out in a second.

Something that always confused me in romantic movies is-

I'll go freshen up.

What do they do in there?

Am I doing the wrong thing?

Back.

I meant to tell you earlier,

you look really pretty today.

Oh merci.

Umm do you want to see my studio?

Wow this is like a real studio.

Yeah pretty much.

I've been saving up all year

and I just sound proofed my window.

Ready?

Wow. Yeah.

I could murder you and no one would hear it.

Oh that's in the front.

Shoulda thought of that.

Here we go.

Wow.

What?

You have really nice boobs.

Thank you, I've been told.

Not by anyone special.

Not for a long time, sorry.

Let's just move on.

Okay.

What's wrong?

Something, something fell out of you.

Oh god!

Oh god!

You okay?

Yeah that's my birth control thing

it's called the ring I was on the pill

but I got off it cause it made me nuts.

Ohhh.

Oh boy.

So obviously we should still use a condom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah of course.

Not that, you don't seem diseased umm.

No it was actually you that I was worried about

I was gonna say we should use two.

Safety in numbers.

♪ I went to the doctor

♪ I went to the mountains ♪

Arrgh. NORA: Driver picks.

Yeah I know but shouldn't we be listening to Mozart

or something for the baby?

Yeah if you want the baby to be like a weird

over achieving little freak.

Better that than a granola lesbian.

♪ And the less I seek my source for some definitive ♪

♪ Closer I am to find it

Dude I can't believe this whole place is yours.

I know.

It's actually the smallest house in the neighborhood

the real estate market just ass raped us.

Speaking of which did Nora tell you about our mishap?

Mark. What?

Come on I wanna show you inside. Okay.

I'm sorry it was an accident.

Uh huh.

The belly has me all disoriented.

This is the dining room.

Whoa, wow. I know.

This is the kitchen.

Do you think we're like total sell outs?

First law school now this. No, no, no.

It's just so grown up.

I know. Yeah.

Look how clean it is.

It really is impressively clean.

It was dumb of me.

I shouldn't have told people before hand.

Now everybody at work looks at me like I have cancer.

Fuck, so now what?

I don't know.

Guess she's thinking about it.

Well either way man I'm sure it's not you.

Like if she says no she would have said no to any guy.

What do you mean?

Well I'm not saying she's a lesbian.

Look I'm no expert but most girls are dying for this shit.

Like Nora begged me to marry her

and she was a lesbian.

She begged you?

Yeah dude, begged.

Sonia's different.

Right well that's what I'm trying to say,

just maybe resolve

this sooner than later

because you don't wanna stick around for another two years

if she's not going to marry you.

This is so good, I'm so happy we found this place.

Oh, Chris can help me dig out that stump.

Why do you need to dig out a stump?

Because that's where we're gonna bury

little Bing's foreskin.

It's a Jewish tradition.

No, we are not butchering baby Ellie.

Bing.

Bing as in like, Chandler Bing?

No, Crosby.

Can I talk to you real quick.

Ya.

Sorry just, one second okay?

I just need a little time.

You know I still feel like I need to, evolve more.

You know, like in general, and you know at work to.

But I also was thinking that maybe,

you know, we could work on some stuff.

We could spice things up a little bit, we could.

How much time do you think you'll need?

I don't know.

Because the uncertainty is kinda killing me here.

But it's not really that uncertain.

Well if it's not uncertain then can we just set a date

for our engagement for like, a month or two?

A month, or two months, or three.

Three?

Well what if I need six months,

what if I don't know how long I'm gonna need?

Chris?

Then maybe we shouldn't-

be together.

You're gonna break up with me?

If I, if I don't give you a date to get engaged by?

Look, you don't get it.

I love you and I want to be with you forever.

I think you're perfect.

I don't think you need to...

Evolve? Evolve.

And I think we're great to.

And if you don't then maybe

we just want different things and we always will.

Can I at least have a few days to think about it?

This is so crazy.

Women give men ultimatums all the time and

maybe he's right.

Maybe we're like, to different.

You guys love each other as much as any couple I know

and before all this you guys were doing great, right?

Did you email about google?

Hm?

Google?

I don't think I want to.

Why?

You said that that's every nerds dream job, why?

I don't know, I'm fine in my job here.

This is your career, this is your whole life,

you don't want to just be fine with it.

You are so great at what you do

you, you, you should pursue this.

Maybe.

Ugh, maybe.

Chris, you're ugh.

Why are you getting so worked up about this?

Because you're just, you're like this with everything.

It's like you're okay with everything just being okay.

Why shouldn't I be?

Because okay is like, it's, you know.

It's like settling for a seven out a ten.

A seven is great.

A seven it's, that's barely passing!

If you get, if you get below a seventy on a test, you fail.

You only live once and you should at least try

to have everything in your life be a ten.

That's crazy.

That's not crazy, why is that crazy?

I think you're a ten.

I think you're more then a ten.

You do?

Of course I do.

Why, what do you think I am?

I think we just grade differently.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I think you're a ten.

No, can we please just forget it, I'm fine,

I'm fine, I just want to forget it.

Look.

See this, this is where I live right?

Like a really great day, it's like a seven.

Okay?

Like the day my dad died, it's probably a two.

And I just, I live right in there.

You know I think you're amazing.

You do?

Yes, I've never met anybody like you.

I think that's one of the reasons that I don't

really care about the job thing

is because I'm so happy with you.

Plus it's in San Francisco, and you love New York.

I know but if you love it, we could figure something out.

You know?

Are you still mad at me?

No, no, I just want to get a little more work done.

But we will tomorrow, okay?

I promise.

Uh, that's how my grandma used to kiss me.

You but what does that mean exactly,

not all the time.

We haven't done it in nine months.

Seriously?

Not since the baby.

Breast feeding gives women a dry vagina. Whoa.

Anyway, you really can't compare like that.

Every relationship is different.

Yeah, I know. I know, that's what every body says,

but how else am I supposed to gauge what's acceptable?

Well Chris's behavior certainly isn't acceptable.

I don't know, I think that he made some fair points.

If he doesn't cave, you should

defiantly get to keep the place.

What do you mean?

Well you're not gonna let him extort

a yes out of you, are you?

It's not extortion,

an ultimatum is an acceptable form of negotiation.

Extortion is illegal.

What?

I can't think straight.

You should talk to him.

Ya, well I left him two messages and

he hasn't called my back.

I gotta go, I gotta go.

Hi.

I'm Laura, we ride the same train right?

Yes, Sonia.

What'd you get?

Just some underwear.

I'm way behind on my laundry.

Oh, me to.

Did you see, there's a sale on um, cosabellas.

Oh I've never really tried the whole thong thing.

Oh, you know I used to be like that to

but they're actually totally comfortable.

And much more flattering than you would think.

And you can't see them, not even through a sarong.

I travel a lot for work.

You dreamt of being a princess

now you have a little princess of your own

and we understand that keeping her clean and healthy

is the most important thing to you.

That's why all our products are made from the purest

organic ingredients with no artificial

or chemical additives.

Breing.

Hey.

Hi Zack.

Hi, here to see Sonia?

Ya.

Is that for me?

Oh, we were flower shopping for Nora's wedding

and they gave us some free samples.

It was so much fun, it made me want to get married again.

Sorry.

It's okay, it not like I have a disease.

Smell this one.

Wow, wow.

That's what I said.

Lee said it's to strong.

I told you,

it's different when there's one at every table.

Sonia.

Ya?

Are you wearing a thong?

No.

Yes you are.

Okay, please don't laugh at me.

I have thongs.

No, I know.

I didn't, until yesterday.

And then I picked up the wrong bag so.

I told my friends about the woman

from the train and how I'd always fantasized

that by the time I got married,

I'd be more like her.

I told them that I couldn't imagine

saying yes to Chris now,

given our different expectations of life

and of love, and if this meant that

he was going to dump me,

maybe that doesn't have to be so terrible.

Maybe it could even be an opportunity to explore

and grow, maybe even do some traveling like that lady who

wrote Eat Pray Love.

Then do it.

Oh, I have a promotional voucher with virgin,

we could get you a ticket half off.

I think it's good anywhere over the Atlantic.

So, where would you ideally want to go?

Wait, wait, I don't.

What, it's okay.

If Chris backs out we can just reclaim the voucher.

He's not, he's not gonna back out.

He won't even speak to me.

Ya, okay, ya I'll take a few days off.

Okay, so where to?

Oh you could go to India like she did.

Paris. Rome?

Rome.

You could look up Fabrizio.

I'll see you soon. Ciao bella.

So, I guess this is goodbye.

Is a sadness you are lesbian because,

when I first see you I like you very much.

Hey.

Hi.

What's that?

It's an itinerary.

For you?

I'm really sorry.

I can't be engaged right now.. Son.

Just let me finish, okay?

Cuz I actually think that it's okay.

You know, because the ultimatum made me realize that

we want different things, at least right now.

So I bought this ticket, and I'm gonna go to Rome,

and do something bold for once and.

Wait, are you saying you don't want

to be together at all now?

Didn't you say that right? We either get engaged.

Ya, ya, ya no.

Am I right? No, ya, right.

Right, have a great time on your trip.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

what is all this?

I came here to tell you I wanted to be with you

no matter what.

Wait, wait, wait.

What?

I don't know, don't you ever feel like you

haven't really lived?

I feel like I was waiting for you to start my life.

Ciao, Sonia Freedman.

Grazie.

Sonia.

Hi, Ciao.

Ciao bella.

Hi.

Wow how are you? This is so nuts.

Wow, nuts I don't no-

Ah it's crazy.

Ah si, si, si.

We have a work emergenza, maybe you help.

Okay. Yeah?

Yeah. Okay.

Sonia, Jessie my brother.

Ciao.

I'm of average height.

Perfecto.

Oh ah, oh no, no.

Our model no show.

Ah, personal problem.

We do travel guides.

Oh you're missing and H, it's a hipster.

A ipster. Hipster.

Ipster for Roma-

Hipster. Ipster Milan.

It's hipster.

Ipster.

Thank you.

Audrey in Roman Holiday.

Yeah, maybe her lesbian cousin.

Yeah you have to move around a little bit.

Yeah just like.

Ah not so much robotic.

Do you want like a glass of wine.

Yes, yes.

Okay, I'll be right back. Grazie.

TV show okay.

Ah I Love Lucy, Captain Hook-

Walking Dead.

The Walking Dead.

Yeah.

Stabbing, I don't know anything

Amanda Knox.

Smurfs? The smurf girl.

Marilyn Monroe?

Oh, Jimi Hendrix.

No?

Kirk Cobain. I don't know.

It's Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday.

Ah si, si.

Ah si, si pretty woman.

Hitler.

Ah fawlty towers.

Ah Charlie Chaplin.

Yes.

Miles Davis.

Hannibal Lector.

The bible or Adam and Eve.

Whooo.

Ah, gone with the wind.

I'm gonna be sick.

I'm good.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

I don't, I don't think I can do this.

I just I almost just got engaged

and I don't think I'm ready for this I'm sorry.

Oh I've, I've never done the whole

groom your private's thing.

Oh my god seriously,

I can't believe I'm letting you do this.

Have you done this before?

My family all dabbles.

I'm an artist?

Great, yeah.

You should offer me candy

and then ask me to get in your van.

You know like an after school special?

Like a child molester.

Ah si, si, si.

No we no have those in Italy

is a free society more open not so um-

repressed.

We love who we love.

That just sounds like it's okay to be a child molester

in Italy.

I kiss you now?

We kiss already no harm

we save the rest for marriage.

Okay.

Bella Sonia I had to go, I take some money and phone.

I pay you back, I'm almost married to and we have baby

soon, I promise her a ring but never even have money.

Please forgive me.

And remember I like you always.

Fabrizio.

Hi this is Marc and Nora please leave a message.

Hi Nora it's me are you there?

I really miss you guys.

So um the thing is I think I just got robbed.

I mean I know that I did.

Hello?

Hello.

Hi.

Chris?

Yeah.

Hi.

Are you okay? Yeah.

Should I pause the movie?

Oh is that Nora?

Ah no it's the TV.

Are you alright?

Yeah, I'm fine I just, I was an idiot

and I got robbed but when in Rome you know.

But you're okay physically?

Yeah no totally.

How are you?

I'm fine.

Oh damn it, hello?

Chris,

Hello?

So it wasn't amazing?

Um amazing?

No, but I'm glad I went, I guess.

Dun dun dah dum.

Why didn't you take your clothes off?

It was just to give them an idea.

Okay well we'll have to do something about this but-

I think you'll look gorgeous.

It's beautiful, it's beautiful.

I don't know I just don't feel like it's me.

Honey, you would be a burlap sack.

Yes that what I was talking about when I said I wanted

something more canvasy.

Canvasy?

Wait are you talking about linen?

Yes linen.

No linen is what you wear to a beach party,

it's casual, it wrinkles.

So casual is good, please.

Why can't we just make this whole wedding thing

more homey?

Okay, I'll see what I can do.

So good to have you back.

Bye.

Thank you for everything.

Is Chris still living with you guys?

How is he?

He's...

why don't you come for dinner?

No. What'd be the point?

The point would be to have dinner.

Just think about it okay?

Hey I'm gonna head out.

Are you okay?

Tara left me.

For good this time.

Oh man I'm so sorry.

Listen I need you to do me a favor.

I need to get outta here.

I'm a mess can you just throw something together for me

for that sneaker thing?

Oh actually I have a dinner that I have to-

It won't take you long.

You just got back from vacation you'll rock it I know it.

You run.

You swim.

You climb.

You fight.

You fall.

You get up.

And you do it all again.

Because you are a woman.

Hi.

Is everything okay?

Yeah they've been going at it.

For about an hour.

It's the 21st century and you choose birth

and Fiddler on the Roof.

Hi Gary.

Hi Gary, hi.

What's happenin'?

Gary's the midwife, midhusband?

No actually that's funny you say that.

You are a moron.

It's labor if you just read the articles I gave you

then you would understand.

What is sacred about it?

What is sacred oh yeah please little tiny hippie

she male with no medical qualifications at all

by all means deliver my first child!

Just gonna say midwife means with woman

so you could be a man or a woman.

Okay.

I'm a man.

Right.

He doesn't understand, he just doesn't respect my opinion.

Oh come on sure he does.

No I did all this homework,

I did all this research.

I mean Gary is the seventh rated midwife

in the tri state area.

Actually it's sixth now. Sixth.

I'm gonna... Yeah.

Well everything looks great.

I think we got a good one coming.

So nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you to Gary.

Nora take care, I will see you soon, yes.

Thanks Gary, thank you.

Alright, stay cool.

Okay you too.

Oh no I mean what if Mark and I just rushed into this

I mean we hardly know each other?

No you guys are amazing together.

He won't even talk to Gary,

he won't listen.

He will I think he's just probably scared.

Scared of what?

You know guys they get squeamish and you know scared

about stuff that they don't know about.

He did tell me that he had a dream that Gary ate the baby.

Oh did you see Chris?

Yeah.

And?

I feel like I'm intruding.

You told him I was coming right?

You're not intruding.

You didn't tell him?

Well I don't need to tell him

he wants to see you, I know he wants to see you

and this is my house.

Oh no.

Where's Mark?

Bathroom.

How was your trip?

It was sort of a bust.

Thanks you guys.

Hey um, did Chris tell you

that he's been teaching me to dance?

I wanna surprise Mark for the wedding.

Do you wanna show her?

Sure.

Okay.

It's really hard.

One, two.

Not as impressive if you count out loud.

Ready?

Oh.

No?

No.

Oh I'm like the worst.

You'd be surprised.

You're going to soon.

Oh.

Awesome.

We gonna eat or what?

I ah, I'm gonna take off, I gotta get going.

Oh you're, you're not going to stay for dinner?

No sorry I gotta go.

Bye dude.

I'm so sorry I should have told him you were coming

I guess we caught him off guard

but I know he wants to see you.

Okay. Shut up Mark.

I brought my stuff down let's find our table.

Okay, I'll carry...

We're over here.

Oh Son, we were doing the seating chart at Nora's

and Chris was there, you guys had just broken up so-

He didn't want to sit with me.

It's okay, you know, why would he.

Um I'm gonna go get my music.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

I'm sure he would love to sit with you

if he knew you wanted to.

He doesn't like me anymore.

He won't even look at me.

He proposed to you three weeks ago,

he loves you, you're being looney.

Listen to me, seriously, just go talk to him.

Johnathan is with him right now.

Hi. Hi.

Hi I'm Katey.

I went to college with Mark and Chris.

Oh hi I'm Sonia.

I was just going to show Chris my kid

anyways so I literally feel like I haven't slept

in two and a half years.

I swear before I'd hear these stories about people

throwing their babies in the garbage and what ever

and I thought animals but now I can understand.

I mean I wouldn't obviously but,

do either of you have kids?

No.

No.

They're great.

Aw, I'm gonna get another drink.

You guys want anything?

No, thank you. I'm good.

That kid looked a little like the devil.

Chris?

It was really good to see you the other night.

Chris, we need you for pictures.

Wait, please hold on.

Can I sit with you tonight?

At the dinner part.

They seated us at different tables but

I really want to sit with you.

I really miss you.

Do I have to talk to you?

Nope. Okay, good.

I promise to love you, take care of you,

put up with you, and never to watch TV shows

with out you and then pretend I haven't seen them.

Nora I...

I'm sorry I...

What she said, everything she said is what I think to.

Well folks there you have it.

Mark, Nora I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Mark you may kiss the bride.

So we get in tomorrow and Lee said that

right away they greet us with like, this crazy spread.

Oh, did she tell you how we're gonna be rich?

No.

I have a great idea, it's genius.

Three ounce lube.

Till death do us part.

Come on, no I'm serious. This is a serious idea.

Okay if you, you can get shampoo, you can get lotion,

you can get all that stuff in a travel size,

you can't find travel size lube anywhere.

I spent all morning with a eye dropper,

filling a bunch of containers of it.

That's really what he did. Ya.

Alright let's get all the lovely couples

out here on the dance floor.

♪ It had to be you

♪ It had to be you

♪ I wandered around

♪ finally found

♪ The somebody who

Chris I'm so sorry.

For everything.

So, you had a horrible time?

Mmhmm.

And it's safe to say it's the worst

decision you've ever made?

Do you still love me?

Of course I still love you, you moron.

Chris, dude our song's coming on next.

Yes.

Mmhmm.

Ya.

Yes.

Okay, not using that.

Let me get in there,

I got some catching up to do with the girls.

Ya, ya, ya.

How cute was Mark yesterday?

So cute.

Wasn't he adorable?

Your speech was really good,

you're really good at speeches.

Hello?

No, this is him.

Oh wow.

Ya no, absolutely.

That sounds great.

Ya, no I'll get back to you by Monday.

Thank you.

Great, bye.

What was that?

I got the google job.

You did?

Ya.

You got it? Ya.

Oh my god, that's amazing.

I didn't even know you applied.

I'm so proud of you.

What's wrong?

It's just.

What about us?

We'll figure something out.

We could see each other on weekends,

we could meet in the middle.

Eventually you can get a transfer to the New York office.

Ya know, we'll figure it out.

I don't want to be in a long distance relationship.

I'm 32.

Honestly I'd rather just, not take the job.

You can't not take the job. Why?

Because-I would rather be with you.

This is a once in a life time opportunity.

You can't not take the job.

What are you doing?

Don't you see we're headed right back to where we started?

Because I'm pushing you with this job thing?

I want you to be happy,

I want you to fulfill your potential.

There's one thing that will make me happy

and you know exactly what that is.

Wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

What?

I'm amenable to the idea.

Amenable?

Yeah, yeah.

Sonia, amenable people are amenable to paying taxes.

I don't want you to do this for me.

But I cannot help it if your fantasy isn't mine.

Marriage isn't a fantasy, it's what normal people do.

Okay, well I'm sorry I'm not normal enough for you.

I don't know what to tell you.

I love that you're not normal.

Look, we've given this more than a fair chance.

And obviously it's just not gonna work.

Stars are just like you and me?

I guess that's possible.

Uh, wait, wait, so it wasn't the coach?

It was the step father.

So I have some news.

Aw ya?

We're pregnant!

We're not pregnant but I am pregnant.

Oh my god, congratulations.

Thank you.

I'm not sure how I feel about it,

but as you can hear, David is very exited.

Hey.

We finally hear back from Athletica. Okay.

They love your track.

Seriously?

Like lost their shit, loved it.

Wow, that's great, awesome.

It's more than awesome, come on let's go celebrate.

Can I take a rain check, I'm not feeling very well.

Oh come one.

Let's go drown our sorrows on the Athletica tab.

Who's the boss?

Ha, okay.

Yesterday marked the 20th anniversary

of the tragic death of Nirvana's front man

Kurt Cobain.

Fans gathered all over the world

to commemorate the occasion.

I always thought I'd be dead by thirty.

Instead here I am, almost forty and writing jingles.

Ya, well you could look on the bright side.

What's that.

You're not dead.

Oh all the coolest guys died young.

James Dean, Jimmy Hendricks, Jim Morrison.

I guess.

Jim Morrison always seemed kinda lame to me. What?

Ya, and do you think any of those guys were ever happy?

Happy?

Who's ever happy?

Seriously, when was the last time you were happy?

I totally understand.

When I was trying to decide whether to quit my food blog

or go to law school Mark said to me

don't let the idealized version of your self

get in the way of what you really want to do.

What makes you happy.

Mark said that?

I know, I thought to myself

I don't really like doing this blog,

I just love eating and it's okay

if I want to have a job where

I make enough money to,

oh he's here.

Mark could you give me Chris's address?

Can he hear me?

A man's word is his bond.

Come on Mark.

Mark I need Chris's address and I know that you

don't trust me right now, but I have to see him.

I want to tell him that I want to marry him.

Are you going to propose?

Oh my god, Mark did you hear her?

Ya I heard her, I heard her but I don't have the address.

But he's not there any ways, he's in Pennsylvania

it's his grandma's birthday, or something.

Okay, calm down.

No I, I think the baby's coming.

What? What?

Holy shit, I'm gonna get the bag, I'm gonna get the bag.

Calmly, calmly!

I want this baby brought into a peaceful environment.

Should I come with you? No, no, no.

No, no, no, absolutely not. You go do what you need to do,

I want this baby to have a whole set of god parents.

Hey, Sonia.

Hi, oh god I still have your book.

Don't worry about it.

I've read it before.

Where ya headed?

Harrisburg.

I gotta visit my friend.

How about you?

Well I sell medical supplies so

I'm doing the Philly hospitals this week.

Hey.

Hey.

Is the baby here.

No, but Son, Chris is here.

What?

Chris is here.

Mark put something up on Facebook.

Oh my god, oh shit.

Shit, shit.

Sir I'm really sorry but I have to get off the bus.

Ma'am please take your seat.

Please sir, this is an emergency.

I can't stop the but now,

it's against the law.

Okay sir.

Ma'am please take your seat.

Please okay, my boyfriend, my ex boyfriend,

I'm gonna propose to him, that's why I'm on the bus.

Shouldn't your boyfriend be the one doing the proposin'?

He tried.

And you said no?

Yep, sort of so can I just please.

Does he drink?

No.

Oh he hit's you?

What, no.

No, no, no, aren't we setting the bar a little low here?

So what was the problem?

I don't know, I just didn't know what

I wanted to do with my life.

Ya, when was young I wanted to be a poet.

Hi. Hi.

Wow.

Say hello to baby Ellie.

Known to his friends as Bing.

Ellie Bing Gestler.

You wanna hold him?

Ya.

Should I wash my hands first?

No you'll be fine.

Oh my god.

There we go.

Oh he's so handsome.

I know. I can't believe we made him.

His head is like a little... It'll change.

Oh thank god I thought it was all the pot

we smoked before we realized

Nora was pregnant.

Well I'm not sure then um

it's supposed to change.

It'll definitely change.

Okay... Okay.

Alright, I gotta get going guys.

Oh you're leaving?

Congratulations buddy.

I love you. Love you too.

Bye. Bye.

Bye baby. Bye uncle Chris.

See ya.

Chris wait.

Chris. What?

I know I'm probably way to late.

And I know you have a whole other life going

but I have to tell you something.

I screwed up really badly and I'm so sorry.

Sonia, you have nothing to be sorry about.

You didn't do anything wrong.

Plus I don't want to go there.

There's no point. No there is a point.

There is a huge point.

Okay please can I just show you this one thing?

It'll take one minute and then I swear

I will never bother you again.

Thanks.

There's no sound.

There's supposed to be a song.

♪ It had to be you

♪ It had to be you

♪ I've wandered around and finally found ♪

♪ Somebody who

♪ could make me be true

♪ Could make me be blue

♪ Make me be sad ♪

♪ Or even be glad

♪ Thinking of you ♪

♪ Some ah some, some

♪ Some other's I've seen

♪ Might never be mean

♪ Might never be cross

♪ Or try to be boss ♪

♪ But they wouldn't do ♪

Did you really do all this for me?

I'm sorry I pushed the marriage thing on you.

We don't have to get married.

Seriously?

Will you marry me?

Of course I will.

♪

♪♪