All language subtitles for Friends.and.Lovers.1999

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian Download
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish Download
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish Download
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:40,306 ™� here we are 2 00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:43,510 ™� such good friends 3 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:47,580 ™� reunited once again 4 00:00:49,816 --> 00:00:53,319 ™� been through good times 5 00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:55,855 ™� through the bad 6 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,793 ™� you've been family i've never had ♪ 7 00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:05,899 ™� could we be friends and lovers? ™� 8 00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:09,536 ™� you know me like no other ♪ 9 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:13,573 ™� would we ruin it all with a kiss? ™� 10 00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:18,845 ™� we have stuck through 11 00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:21,514 ™� thick and thin 12 00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:26,686 ™� ooh, with eyes of love you look within ♪ 13 00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:31,624 ™� still remain here 14 00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:34,527 ™� by my side 15 00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:38,798 ™� but now feelings stir i cannot hide ♪ 16 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,937 ™� could we be friends and lovers? ™� 17 00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:46,673 ™� who knows, we might discover ♪ 18 00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:49,642 ™� a much deeper love than this ♪ 19 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:53,680 ™� find the thing we've always missed... ♪ 20 00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:56,616 Merry christmas, sir. 21 00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:58,351 Merry christmas. 22 00:01:58,384 --> 00:02:00,520 Can you show me your most handsome scotch pines, please? 23 00:02:00,553 --> 00:02:02,789 Sure. Right there next to the douglas fir. 24 00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:05,558 Ah, thank you. 25 00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:06,793 Mm! 26 00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:09,295 Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. 27 00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:12,499 [Sniffs] mm! Mm mm mm! 28 00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:16,836 What are you doing, ian? 29 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,638 I've decided we're not gonna have 30 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:21,207 A long-Needle, short-Needle thing again this year. 31 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,443 It's gonna be long needle. 32 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,611 Mm! 33 00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:25,945 We have it every year. 34 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,514 Well, it's at my house. My choice. 35 00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:28,648 Next year, your house, your choice. 36 00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:30,250 Ok. One vote for long needle. 37 00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:32,385 Ok. The one vote that counts. 38 00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,554 That's the thing about living in a democracy. 39 00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:35,822 Republic. 40 00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:37,557 Yeah, it always comes down to one thing 41 00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:38,992 And one vote, and you always lose. 42 00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,360 Hey, this is a good one. 43 00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:42,595 That's right. Now put it back. 44 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,902 Supposed to try it with the breadcrumbs. 45 00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,436 No, it's the creamy soup that makes it-- 46 00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:51,704 Hello! 47 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:52,906 Hello. Merry christmas. 48 00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:54,274 Promise me one thing? 49 00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:55,408 [Together] maybe. Maybe. 50 00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:56,576 That we will still be friends 51 00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:58,611 No matter what tree we pick. 52 00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,847 Children... merry christmas. 53 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,615 Oh, god, look at this one. 54 00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:03,783 This is great. This is perfect. This is the one. 55 00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:05,652 All: we hate long needles! 56 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:06,853 Just don't like them. 57 00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:08,454 Stop. 58 00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:10,957 Just stop. It's an ugly tree. 59 00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:12,892 Ho ho ho! 60 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,460 Look at this. 61 00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:15,728 Nice uni. 62 00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,864 I'm a ho. 63 00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:19,499 You're rotten, jon. 64 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:20,934 Check this out. 65 00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:23,670 I wish it was christmas all year long. 66 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,772 Tell you, the santa claus uni 67 00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:28,408 Is the ultimate magnet. 68 00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:29,776 Forget about that whole thing 69 00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:31,744 With the sheeps in wolf clothing. 70 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,546 Did you get a number, jon? 71 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,548 I would've got her number, but the husband came back. 72 00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,450 Oh, those pesky husbands. 73 00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:39,619 Exactly. Heh heh heh! 74 00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:44,390 Santa, santa! Did you get my letter? 75 00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:46,326 Well, of course i did, angel. 76 00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:49,362 Now... where's your mommy? 77 00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,434 Jon: yecch. 78 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:58,304 Ok, thank you very much, honey. That's good. 79 00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:01,841 Didn't you get it? I sent it to the north pole. 80 00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:05,044 Well, you know, santa's been very, very busy. 81 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,914 Very good. Now go on and scram out of here. Go on. 82 00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:10,383 No, no, no, no! 83 00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:15,955 All right, now listen, kid. 84 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,491 I ain't santa claus, and there is no santa claus, 85 00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:21,394 So you want something, you go ask your mom. 86 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:22,962 Now scram. 87 00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,433 You're unbelievable. 88 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,936 You are so mean-Spirited! 89 00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:32,538 ™� want to spend some time ♪ 90 00:04:32,572 --> 00:04:36,609 ™� in another universe 91 00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:39,445 ™� leaving things behind ♪ 92 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:42,615 ™� far away from sister moon... ♪ 93 00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:45,318 [All laughing and chattering] 94 00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:49,756 No, no, no! That corner's all wrong. 95 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,791 We always put it in there. 96 00:04:51,824 --> 00:04:53,559 Man: you're really good with children, jon. 97 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,028 Ian: right there. Right over there. 98 00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:56,929 Woman: don't hurt the tree. 99 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,098 Man: just stick it in the hole. You know how to do that. 100 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,800 Ha ha. 101 00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:02,902 Know what? I think this is gonna be our best tree ever. 102 00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:04,103 What do you got to eat? 103 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,505 Look in the fridge. 104 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,474 [Telephone rings] 105 00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:10,543 I'll get it. No, no! Let the machine get it. 106 00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:11,911 I'll get it! 107 00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:14,714 Who are you avoiding? We're all here. 108 00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:16,683 I'm not avoiding anyone. Could be the office. 109 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,151 I don't want them to get ahold of me till we get the tree trimmed. 110 00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:21,054 Ian on machine: hi. It's ian. I'm not in. 111 00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:23,089 If you don't leave a message, i can't call you back. [Machine beeps] 112 00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:24,657 Man on machine: ian, this is your father. 113 00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:27,093 I'm sorry to bother you, but i need to know 114 00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:28,928 Whether you and your friends are coming skiing. 115 00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,697 There's something that i... 116 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,632 that i have to say, 117 00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,133 And i would feel more comfortable 118 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,635 Telling you in person, if that's all right. 119 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,603 So, i look forward to your call. 120 00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,138 [Machine beeps] 121 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,743 You really want to go? 122 00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:46,646 What part of free skiing didn't you understand? 123 00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,681 Wait a minute. I thought you and your father weren't speaking. 124 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:50,883 We speak. A little. 125 00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,819 What? He just calls you out of the blue? 126 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,620 Look, he calls every 6 months. 127 00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,022 It's no big deal. Let's get that tree trimmed. 128 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,890 I'll start dinner! 129 00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:59,859 So, then, ian, if you do see your dad 130 00:05:59,892 --> 00:06:01,861 Or you don't see your dad, it's no biggie? 131 00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:03,463 Yeah. That's what i'm saying. 132 00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:04,564 Great. When are we leaving? 133 00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:05,965 Man: jon. 134 00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:07,467 Well, i mean, isn't this an opportunity 135 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,768 For, you know, your dad and you 136 00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:10,670 To kind of kiss and make up? 137 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,772 You guys are taking this thing way too seriously. 138 00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:14,107 No, no, no. I'm with lisa. 139 00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,109 I mean, he did call, right? 140 00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:18,010 So he made a call. Whoopee. 141 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,513 My birthday was 2 months ago. Did he call then? 142 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:21,881 Send a letter? Anything? 143 00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:23,149 No. 144 00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:24,984 And which i'm cool with, right. 145 00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:26,219 I worked my way through college waiting tables. 146 00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:27,754 Did he show up for my graduation? 147 00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,122 Man: no. 148 00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:30,923 But he offered you the money. 149 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:31,958 You wouldn't take it. 150 00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:33,693 Free skiing! 151 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,862 Come on, ian. He's your father. 152 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,131 Hey, guys, i have a great life. 153 00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:39,565 I started my own business. 154 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:41,134 We started our own business. 155 00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:44,036 Sorry. We started our own business. 156 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,805 Besides, i have you guys. 157 00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,607 Look... 158 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,041 [whispering] ...very much. 159 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,977 I don't ski. I don't like the cold. 160 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:53,780 I don't like fathers in general, mine in particular. 161 00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,615 Well, at least all of you know... 162 00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:57,150 all: who your father is. 163 00:06:57,183 --> 00:07:00,086 [Laughing] fuck all of you. 164 00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:03,556 However, i think we should go. 165 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,825 Come on. You can't seriously be thinking of doing this. 166 00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:07,193 Free skiing! 167 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,861 Jon! 168 00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:10,062 What? 169 00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:14,567 It ain't gonna happen, all right? 170 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,203 You know, i think you're taking this really, really well. 171 00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:20,606 Yeah. I don't know why i didn't think of this before. 172 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,141 All i have to do is go up there, 173 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,076 Let him talk at me a little bit, 174 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,012 Take my lumps, we get the run of the place, right? 175 00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:28,514 We're golden. Free skiing maybe all winter, huh? 176 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,750 Nothing but the best for my good buddy. 177 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:31,918 Hey, jonny! 178 00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,724 I'll put any amount on this one, fellas. 179 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:42,528 Ian: ah. 180 00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,197 Ugly. 181 00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:51,003 I don't know, jon. She seems way out of your league. 182 00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:52,772 Yeah, she almost seems, you know, 183 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,842 Too pretty to imagine the act, so... 184 00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,643 hell, i wouldn't be able to get a chubby, 185 00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:59,078 Let alone maintain it. 186 00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:02,215 Liar. All bets are on. 187 00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:04,083 So, let me take your bag. 188 00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:05,751 No, no, no, i'm cool. I got it. 189 00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:10,623 Um, ian. You're coming, right? 190 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,024 I mean, you're not gonna pull one of your... 191 00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:15,761 no, i just need to know i got a way to go, 192 00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:17,163 I gotta go. You know? 193 00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:18,731 Right on. 194 00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:20,166 Take care. 195 00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:32,278 You are so... 196 00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:36,048 mmh! 197 00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:39,585 Jon. [Chuckles] 198 00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:41,087 Uh, jon. 199 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,856 I'm sorry. Can i get a hug? 200 00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,658 Ok. 201 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,226 Great. 202 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,327 Unh! 203 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,763 Ow! The hair! 204 00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:53,032 Ok. Well, mind your manners. 205 00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:54,734 Of course. 206 00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:57,136 I'm sorry. 207 00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:19,392 Now, hold on. 208 00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:20,826 What? 209 00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:22,862 Well, you didn't get a lover 210 00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,797 When i said i'm come along. 211 00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:26,198 You got a model. 212 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,600 I see. 213 00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:31,604 Are you really a photographer? 214 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,176 Are you kidding me? 215 00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:39,812 Ok. 216 00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:41,814 I'm absolutely a photographer. 217 00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:43,182 Mm-Hmm. 218 00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:46,319 There she is. Right on time. 219 00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:50,323 Oh, my god. 220 00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:52,391 Hey, big brother! 221 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,093 Little sister! 222 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,896 Big sister. 223 00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,764 You look very, uh... 224 00:09:58,798 --> 00:09:59,899 pregnant. Yeah. 225 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,133 Oh, man, do you think? 226 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:03,135 God, i thought i was just getting fat 227 00:10:03,169 --> 00:10:04,870 And had a mean case of indigestion. 228 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,305 Heh heh heh! 229 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,708 I told you there was something 230 00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:09,942 I wanted to talk to you about. 231 00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,277 No shit. 232 00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:13,045 Greetings from home. 233 00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:14,146 I'll bet. 234 00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:26,125 Well, i'm not really a model. 235 00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:28,427 I can't ski. I don't know any of your friends. 236 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,196 I mean, what am i doing here? 237 00:10:30,229 --> 00:10:33,132 This is gonna be great. You'll see. 238 00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:36,202 Come on. This is gonna be great. 239 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,175 Baby. 240 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,377 Keaton, jeez. 241 00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,879 Dad took this better than you. 242 00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:48,414 All right, explain that again. 243 00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:51,217 What, that i.U.D.S aren't 100% reliable? 244 00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:55,921 No, the part about not telling the father he's the father. 245 00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:58,124 Well, you seem to have heard me. 246 00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,458 I heard her. 247 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,194 What you're doing is totally unfair. 248 00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:03,763 No, it's not. 249 00:11:03,796 --> 00:11:06,032 She told him. 250 00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:09,268 I asked him if he wanted to have a child with me, 251 00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:11,404 And he said no. 252 00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:13,239 That's not the same thing 253 00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:15,007 As telling him you're gonna have his child. 254 00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:17,910 It's not his child. It's their child. 255 00:11:17,943 --> 00:11:19,378 Hey, i don't need some guy to tell me 256 00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:20,746 To go get an abortion. 257 00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,381 So you're happy about the baby? 258 00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:24,383 Ecstatic. 259 00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,085 That's great. 260 00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:32,324 [German accent] shit! 261 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,327 4,000 deutsche marks, and i'm stranded! 262 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:39,231 [Screaming in german] 263 00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:52,044 Hey, fella! 264 00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,846 Ja? 265 00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,115 Which way is timber ridge road? 266 00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:58,184 It's that way--Oh! 267 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,519 Bitte, mein auto is totaled, is dead, 268 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,221 And i'm stranded, 269 00:12:02,254 --> 00:12:03,823 So please give me a ride into town. 270 00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:07,460 I'll show you the way. Please? 271 00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,296 Yeah, sure. Come on, get in. 272 00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:12,064 Danke. 273 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,036 [Shouting in german] 274 00:12:21,373 --> 00:12:23,476 Oh, how serendipitous. 275 00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,845 I need ride, and you need directions. 276 00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:28,347 My name is hans. 277 00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:30,883 Hello, hans. I'm jon. This is carla. 278 00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:33,152 Hello, jon. Helllooo, carla. 279 00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,990 Oh, timber ridge road is just up here a little ways, 280 00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:39,225 A little bit 281 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:42,361 Around the bend and so forth. 282 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:47,833 [Speaking german] 283 00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:49,301 I'm from bavaria. 284 00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:50,903 Where from in deutschland do you hail, sweet? 285 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:51,937 From stuttgart. 286 00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,472 Stuttgart. So marvelous! 287 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,608 Which way am i going, please? 288 00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:57,910 You just right, left. I'll show you how to get there, sweetie. 289 00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:00,279 Thanks for the ride. I was so stranded. 290 00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:06,252 So, my car is so much troubles lately, a little-- 291 00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,888 Why don't you sit back a little there, hans, and relax. 292 00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:10,389 Ok, pal? Thanks. 293 00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:12,091 Be nice. How much fun can you have 294 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,160 When your car breaks down? 295 00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:16,462 Don't worry. I'm sure it's only minor. 296 00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:19,298 Oh, my god. She has got the most beautiful hands. 297 00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:22,635 Which is interesting because my name is also strangely hans. 298 00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:24,136 I learned from my grandmother 299 00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,172 Back in schwarzwald-- In baden-Baden. 300 00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:27,873 How to read palms a long time ago. 301 00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:29,475 It's just a little skill that i still possess. 302 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:31,010 Really? Yes. 303 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:32,178 Can you read mine? 304 00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:33,946 Yes, i'd be happy to. 305 00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:35,514 Do you want to know the present or the future? 306 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,316 The future. 307 00:13:37,349 --> 00:13:40,052 Very well. This here is your lifeline. 308 00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:42,421 Look down here. See how this arcs around like this? 309 00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:44,256 This is your lifeline. You have good, long, 310 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,292 Long, long life. 311 00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,460 Strong stock. 312 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,229 But i see here on the loveline there's a break, 313 00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:52,064 Which means many things. 314 00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:54,266 What you think might happen is not going to happen, 315 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,570 And perhaps something else will happen. 316 00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:03,075 You know, i thought for sure 317 00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:04,376 You'd have, like, a bonehead bavarian 318 00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:05,644 In your immediate future. 319 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:11,217 Jon, behave. Come on. 320 00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:13,552 I also see here finally-- 321 00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:16,522 Oh! Funf kinder! 5 little children. 322 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:18,357 Not with you, hans. Now sit back and relax. 323 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:20,559 Jon! What? 324 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,928 He's from europe. 325 00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:25,231 I mean, you can't expect him to act like a normal american. 326 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:28,167 You're not really going for this bullshit are you? 327 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,935 What? 328 00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:32,638 You know what? Forget it. 329 00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,306 Just let's forget it. I'm gonna pull over. 330 00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:35,975 I'd like you to get out. Ok there, hans? 331 00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:37,509 I do something wrong? 332 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,378 I want you out of my fucking car, ok, bavarian? 333 00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:40,713 Have you gone nuts? 334 00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:42,514 This is unbelievable. 335 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,483 You want this guy coming on to you? Is that it? 336 00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:47,653 He's not coming on to me. Are you? 337 00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:49,488 Jon, i wasn't coming on to her in the slightest, jon. 338 00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:51,023 Sit back, buddy! 339 00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,291 You're crazy. 340 00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:55,327 I'm crazy? You're crazy. 341 00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:57,162 What, do you think this wacko is cute or something? 342 00:14:58,464 --> 00:14:59,665 Yeah, he's cute. 343 00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:01,100 Ooh! 344 00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,167 Cute, my ass! 345 00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:06,505 Hans: jon, did i do something wrong to jon? 346 00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:08,040 Get out. 347 00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:10,009 Right, thanks. 348 00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,320 Kiss mein arschloch! 349 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,557 Ha ha! She likes me better. 350 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,459 He can't handle it. 351 00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,028 Hans read her hands. 352 00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:30,496 Now she wants me in her pants. 353 00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:32,264 ™� swim the deepest ocean 354 00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:36,101 ™� just to see you smile 355 00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:40,239 ™� scale the highest mountain, touch the sky ♪ 356 00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:44,576 ™� for you i cross a desert 357 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:48,047 ™� walk for miles and miles 358 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:53,585 ™� just to wipe a tear from your eye ♪ 359 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:59,458 ™� baby, i'd do anything for you... ♪ 360 00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,698 You know, keat? Hmm? 361 00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:08,434 I've been thinking. Maybe, you could fix me up with ian. 362 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:09,768 Oh, score. 363 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,737 That's not funny. 364 00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,539 I'm not joking. I've seen the way he looks at me. 365 00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:14,740 He looks at everyone that way. 366 00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:16,175 Does not. He does too. 367 00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:17,443 Does not. Hello! 368 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,111 Look! That's ian's father. 369 00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:25,384 How you doing, mr. Wickham? 370 00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:27,119 Hi. Keaton. 371 00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:29,221 Oh, yes. Keaton. Ian's told me about you. 372 00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:30,656 Now, richard, ok? Call me richard. 373 00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:31,824 No ian? 374 00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:33,125 He's driving himself. 375 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,259 All right. 376 00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,461 This is lisa, 377 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,162 And this is my sister jane. 378 00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:38,364 She's pregnant. 379 00:16:38,397 --> 00:16:39,531 Great. 380 00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:41,300 I have heard so much about you. 381 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,534 Oh, thank you. I'm so glad you could come. 382 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,770 My--Oh, you-- You are pregnant! 383 00:16:44,803 --> 00:16:47,106 Let's get you inside and comfortable, all right? 384 00:16:47,139 --> 00:16:48,273 There's a beautiful fireplace. 385 00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:49,475 Oh, yummy. 386 00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:53,345 He doesn't seem so horrible to me. 387 00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,647 Everybody's parents are great except your own. 388 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,583 Richard: for you. 389 00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:59,318 Hi, guys! 390 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,186 All: hey! 391 00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:02,721 Hi, there. I'm jon. 392 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,858 Welcome. I'm richard, and merry christmas. 393 00:17:05,891 --> 00:17:07,626 Thank you, richard. Merry christmas to you, too. 394 00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:08,694 And you are? 395 00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:10,129 Carla. Nice to meet you. 396 00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,765 This is my new friend carla. 397 00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:14,166 Hi, carla. 398 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:15,768 Can i interest you in a glass of wine. 399 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:19,304 Real cork or a plastic cap? 400 00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:22,274 It's mouton rothschild '75. 401 00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:25,477 1975? Wow. Where'd you get that? 402 00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:26,845 Oh, didn't ian tell you? 403 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,680 Well, i'm in the business. 404 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,150 All right, a toast. This'll be on me. 405 00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:33,552 To friends and family. 406 00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:36,255 All: hear, hear. 407 00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:38,690 Or anything resembling. 408 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,495 Keaton! 409 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,130 What? Be careful. 410 00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:47,166 That's very sensitive equipment. Please! 411 00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:49,435 Jon, i don't even know why you're bringing all this crap, anyway. 412 00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:51,270 We didn't even take a group photo last year. 413 00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:52,504 Well, we're going to take one this year. 414 00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:54,473 And something else. 415 00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:56,475 You're gonna want to get in on this thing about carla. 416 00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:58,811 I'm telling you, i have a sixth sense about these matters. 417 00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:01,380 She's at least an inch and a half, maybe 2. 418 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:04,817 I promise you, the woman needs a nipple-Ectomy. 419 00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:07,753 God! 420 00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:09,288 What? 421 00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:11,690 I've got an aerobics instructor inside there. 422 00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:12,791 Ooh. 423 00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,193 Yeah. 424 00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:15,527 You're so brave. 425 00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:17,529 Really? 426 00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:20,165 Yeah. I mean, having a child, i would not know where to start. 427 00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:21,800 Oh, starting, that's the easy part. 428 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,769 You just gotta lie there for about 60 seconds, 429 00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:25,737 And then you're well on your way. 430 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,372 I see. 431 00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:32,544 Could i ask you something embarrassing? 432 00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:34,246 The answer is yes. 433 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:35,814 Hemorrhoids and flatulence 434 00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,816 Will become your friends during pregnancy. 435 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,551 Ok, well... 436 00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:45,424 well, i don't understand. I mean, why-- 437 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,860 Why am i such a magnet for losers? 438 00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:50,662 Well, there's no shortage of losers in the world. 439 00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,500 Ohh. 440 00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:57,236 Do you think jon is a loser? 441 00:18:57,269 --> 00:19:00,239 No, i'm afraid i'm not much of a cook. 442 00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:02,374 My wife took care of most of that. 443 00:19:02,407 --> 00:19:04,276 Oh, i'm sorry to hear about her passing. 444 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:07,813 Oh. This house was her pride and joy. 445 00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:11,216 And ian, oh, he always loved this place. 446 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:14,219 Right, right. 447 00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:16,555 Hello. 448 00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:17,956 Baby, come here. 449 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,258 What? 450 00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:21,560 [Jane whispering] 451 00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:23,562 [Lisa and jane laugh] 452 00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:26,331 Um, jon? 453 00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:27,599 Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmm. 454 00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:30,502 What did he hit you with, the modeling line? 455 00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,671 [All giggle] 456 00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:33,939 Ohh! 457 00:19:33,972 --> 00:19:35,340 Oh, baby. 458 00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:36,808 I guess i fell for it. Ok. 459 00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:40,746 I mean, how do you tell the difference 460 00:19:40,779 --> 00:19:42,481 Between the good and the bad ones? 461 00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:45,584 Ok, well, i just make a list-- 462 00:19:45,617 --> 00:19:48,987 You know, 2 columns, pros and cons. 463 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,722 Really? Mm-Hmm. 464 00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,491 I just feel their heads, and if they're not pointed, 465 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:55,861 I figured i'm on the right track. Cheese? 466 00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:57,729 Yeah, pass me a log, baby. 467 00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,464 Little loggy. 468 00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:00,933 Mm! 469 00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,935 I've got it. I've got it. 470 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:04,403 You loosen this first-- 471 00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:07,005 Jon, i got it. I'm loosening it. 472 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,707 Lisa: right there. 473 00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:12,277 Loosen there--Stop it. Please get off! 474 00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:14,446 Oh, you got a huge point here. 475 00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:16,048 Get off. Stop. 476 00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:17,749 I have a point because when i was a kid 477 00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,284 I fell down and bumped my head. 478 00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:20,485 Really, you did? 479 00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:22,321 Stop it. That's crooked. 480 00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:24,590 It's not your dick, keaton. It can't be crooked. 481 00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:26,024 Stop! 482 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,627 Stop! Stop! 483 00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:33,932 [Laughing] 484 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,567 Stop it! Stop! 485 00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:37,736 Please stop, stop, stop! Stop. 486 00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:43,875 [Doorbell rings] 487 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,844 And that will be... 488 00:20:45,877 --> 00:20:47,980 richard: ahh. 489 00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:51,917 Ian! 490 00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:54,653 Uh, merry christmas. I'm david. 491 00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:56,922 Merry christmas. Welcome. 492 00:20:56,955 --> 00:20:59,558 Is ian with you? 493 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:00,959 He's not here? 494 00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:03,862 Come on in. I'm richard. 495 00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:05,864 Hi. 496 00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:11,770 Keaton: sassy dave is here. 497 00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:13,905 Lisa: oh, ducky! 498 00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:16,775 Jon: uh, this is carla. 499 00:21:16,808 --> 00:21:18,844 Hi. David. Nice to meet you. 500 00:21:18,877 --> 00:21:19,845 Jane: hey, baby. 501 00:21:19,878 --> 00:21:22,414 Hey! Oh, my god! 502 00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:24,082 Baby is right. 503 00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,417 Did you bring the father? 504 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:26,785 Oh, no. Turkey baster. 505 00:21:26,818 --> 00:21:28,420 Keaton, why didn't you tell me? 506 00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:29,554 I don't want to talk about it, david. 507 00:21:29,588 --> 00:21:31,023 Jane: oh, jesus. 508 00:21:32,391 --> 00:21:33,959 So, uh, where's ian? 509 00:21:33,992 --> 00:21:35,961 Jon: he's a slow driver. 510 00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:37,763 Yeah! If i know ian, 511 00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:39,364 He hasn't even left yet. 512 00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:42,401 I'll call him. 513 00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:45,437 [Video game beeping] 514 00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:49,841 [Telephone rings] 515 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,510 Ian here. 516 00:21:51,543 --> 00:21:54,646 Oh, hi--Ahem. Hi, dad. How you doing? 517 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,782 [Whispering] what do we do if ian doesn't show? 518 00:21:58,617 --> 00:22:00,519 Pretend like nothing happened, 519 00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:02,921 At least until we get in one day of skiing. 520 00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:03,922 Women: jon! 521 00:22:03,955 --> 00:22:05,390 Try not to speak. 522 00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:07,793 [Hangs up] 523 00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:10,996 Well, he said 524 00:22:11,029 --> 00:22:12,998 He must've lost track of time, 525 00:22:13,031 --> 00:22:15,133 And he's going to jump in the car 526 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,868 And drive right over. 527 00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:18,704 Jane: great. Good. 528 00:22:18,737 --> 00:22:19,871 Perfect. 529 00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:30,449 Look, i really don't think he's gonna come at this point. 530 00:22:30,482 --> 00:22:32,050 We're sorry, mr. Wickham. 531 00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:34,619 It's all right, but i just want you to know 532 00:22:34,653 --> 00:22:37,189 That, uh, if you want to stay, 533 00:22:37,222 --> 00:22:38,890 You're more than welcome. 534 00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:40,792 All right? Really, enjoy yourselves. 535 00:22:40,826 --> 00:22:43,095 He's coming, richard. I mean, you heard him. 536 00:22:43,128 --> 00:22:47,065 Well, thank you, but i don't think so. 537 00:22:49,134 --> 00:22:50,602 God. 538 00:22:50,635 --> 00:22:52,070 Jon: i don't know about you guys, 539 00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:54,773 But tomorrow, i am skiing all day. 540 00:22:54,806 --> 00:22:57,776 I don't know. I think we should go home. 541 00:22:57,809 --> 00:22:59,745 No! Come on. 542 00:22:59,778 --> 00:23:02,047 I know. Let's take the picture. 543 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,449 Everybody on the couch. Come on, let's go. 544 00:23:09,821 --> 00:23:12,224 Hi. I thought we'd have something sweet 545 00:23:12,257 --> 00:23:14,659 And then just turn in so we can get up early. 546 00:23:14,693 --> 00:23:16,461 Sounds good. Good. 547 00:23:16,495 --> 00:23:17,929 Can you read that? I don't have my glasses. 548 00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:20,699 How much time does that take? 549 00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:22,667 It says about... 550 00:23:22,701 --> 00:23:24,069 30 minutes. 551 00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:25,904 Perfect. All right. 552 00:23:25,937 --> 00:23:27,072 You ready for us? 553 00:23:27,105 --> 00:23:28,807 For what? 554 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,542 Well, every year, we do a christmas photo of the group, 555 00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:32,177 And we'd love for you to join us. 556 00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:34,846 Heh! All right. 557 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,182 All right. Ok. 558 00:23:37,215 --> 00:23:38,817 30 minutes. 559 00:23:47,826 --> 00:23:48,927 Carla, if you can just sit up 560 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,862 A little bit for me, please. 561 00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:52,097 Uncross your legs. 562 00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:54,032 Chin down, 3/4 profile. 563 00:23:54,065 --> 00:23:56,935 Right. Ok, now just sit up more and arch your back. 564 00:23:56,968 --> 00:23:58,570 A little bit more. Harder. 565 00:23:58,603 --> 00:23:59,838 Jon! Jon! 566 00:23:59,871 --> 00:24:03,575 Sorry. Just gonna set the timer. 567 00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:05,710 And...here we go. 568 00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:07,579 And i'm coming in here. 569 00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:11,082 Let me just--I need to just squeeze in right here. 570 00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,884 Hold still. Put your arm around my neck. 571 00:24:12,918 --> 00:24:13,919 All right, wait! You'll blow the picture. 572 00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,120 Hold still, and... 573 00:24:15,153 --> 00:24:18,857 everybody say, "we love you!" 574 00:24:18,890 --> 00:24:20,992 We love you! 575 00:24:21,026 --> 00:24:22,093 [Explosion] 576 00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,229 [All screaming] 577 00:24:25,897 --> 00:24:28,166 Don't push me! Don't push! 578 00:24:29,768 --> 00:24:32,571 Oh, my god! 579 00:24:32,604 --> 00:24:35,006 That was so weird. I don't know! 580 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:36,975 Wait, wait. 581 00:24:37,008 --> 00:24:38,944 I might know. 582 00:24:40,178 --> 00:24:41,613 Go check! 583 00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:42,914 He shouldn't go in like that. 584 00:24:42,948 --> 00:24:44,082 He shouldn't go in there alone. 585 00:24:44,115 --> 00:24:45,283 I thought it was you. 586 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:46,852 It sounded like a bomb. 587 00:24:46,885 --> 00:24:47,986 I hope it wasn't me. I'm not ready. 588 00:24:49,721 --> 00:24:51,089 Are you sure you want to do this? 589 00:24:51,122 --> 00:24:52,591 It could be gas. 590 00:24:52,624 --> 00:24:54,125 No, i don't think it's gas. 591 00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:57,095 No, i have this sinking feeling. 592 00:24:57,128 --> 00:24:59,598 No, the fuse box is here somewhere. 593 00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:01,199 Ai-Yi-Yi-Yi-Yi. 594 00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:02,634 Here's the fuse box. 595 00:25:02,667 --> 00:25:04,836 Oh, thank you. 596 00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:08,707 There we are. 597 00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:10,108 Huh. 598 00:25:10,141 --> 00:25:11,309 I don't think we're gonna be having 599 00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:12,711 Any christmas pudding. 600 00:25:12,744 --> 00:25:14,145 All right, look, um... 601 00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:17,082 i will clean this up tomorrow morning, all right? 602 00:25:17,115 --> 00:25:19,284 Well, obviously-- 603 00:25:19,317 --> 00:25:21,820 What the hell was it? 604 00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:23,221 The microwave blew. 605 00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:24,656 No. 606 00:25:24,689 --> 00:25:25,957 You kidding? 607 00:25:25,991 --> 00:25:27,325 I'm freezing. What's in there? 608 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:28,660 Oh, my god, the christmas pudding! 609 00:25:28,693 --> 00:25:29,928 That can-- 610 00:25:29,961 --> 00:25:31,329 Go, go! It's freezing! 611 00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:32,864 He put the whole can in there? 612 00:25:32,898 --> 00:25:34,699 I hope he doesn't have any pets. 613 00:25:36,234 --> 00:25:37,736 Oh, my god! 614 00:25:37,769 --> 00:25:40,305 [Laughs] whoa! 615 00:25:40,338 --> 00:25:42,674 This could have taken someone's eye out. 616 00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,376 Jon: you know what, though? 617 00:25:44,409 --> 00:25:46,845 It's not bad. 618 00:25:46,878 --> 00:25:48,813 Ok, let's clean this up. 619 00:25:48,847 --> 00:25:50,715 Richard said he'd clean it up in the morning. 620 00:25:50,749 --> 00:25:53,218 Lisa: we can't leave it like this. 621 00:25:53,251 --> 00:25:55,020 That's what the man wants. We're his guests. 622 00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:56,855 If you don't want to do what he wants, 623 00:25:56,888 --> 00:25:58,256 Knock yourselves out. 624 00:25:58,290 --> 00:25:59,958 Oh, men are ridiculous. 625 00:25:59,991 --> 00:26:01,293 Totally. 626 00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:03,828 Ok, boys with the boys in the first room. 627 00:26:03,862 --> 00:26:05,730 Girls with the girls in the second. 628 00:26:05,764 --> 00:26:07,666 That's what the man wants, that's what the man gets. 629 00:26:07,699 --> 00:26:09,067 This really sucks. 630 00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:10,168 It'll be just like camp. 631 00:26:10,201 --> 00:26:11,903 David... 632 00:26:11,937 --> 00:26:14,172 you're not getting any, and that's final. 633 00:26:14,205 --> 00:26:16,041 Jon. 634 00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:17,275 Yes? 635 00:26:26,151 --> 00:26:28,086 [Chuckles] 636 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,188 Richard: no, he told his friends 637 00:26:30,221 --> 00:26:32,390 That he was going to drive up when they drove up. 638 00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:35,026 I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this. 639 00:26:35,060 --> 00:26:36,828 Because, sweetheart, 640 00:26:36,861 --> 00:26:38,129 If you're willing to walk away 641 00:26:38,163 --> 00:26:39,931 From your own child without putting up a fight 642 00:26:39,965 --> 00:26:41,866 Or at least trying to fix things, 643 00:26:41,900 --> 00:26:43,868 Honey, what does that say about our chances 644 00:26:43,902 --> 00:26:45,236 Come some cloudy day? 645 00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:47,138 Why don't you just come up anyway? 646 00:26:47,172 --> 00:26:48,273 Really. 647 00:26:48,306 --> 00:26:49,874 [Laughing] 648 00:26:49,908 --> 00:26:52,978 So what's the group you've got going? 649 00:26:53,011 --> 00:26:54,412 What, the boys and me? 650 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:58,016 Chez george, if you can believe it. 651 00:26:58,049 --> 00:26:59,884 Hmm. On main? 652 00:26:59,918 --> 00:27:01,219 Mm-Hmm. 653 00:27:01,252 --> 00:27:02,387 10 years ago, we all worked there. 654 00:27:02,420 --> 00:27:03,788 It was our first jobs. 655 00:27:03,822 --> 00:27:05,056 Really? 656 00:27:05,090 --> 00:27:07,292 After that, we just sort of stuck. 657 00:27:07,325 --> 00:27:08,793 Jane: oh, shit. 658 00:27:08,827 --> 00:27:10,261 Are you ok doing this? 659 00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:13,798 I'm pregnant, not paralyzed. 660 00:27:13,832 --> 00:27:15,166 [Passes wind] 661 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,301 Jesus! 662 00:27:16,334 --> 00:27:18,203 [Laughs] 663 00:27:19,337 --> 00:27:21,239 I--I'm sorry. 664 00:27:21,272 --> 00:27:23,875 [Jane laughing] 665 00:27:25,110 --> 00:27:27,812 Mmm. 666 00:27:29,981 --> 00:27:31,383 Jon: i mean, what is the big deal 667 00:27:31,416 --> 00:27:33,351 If i stay in the same bed with carla? 668 00:27:33,385 --> 00:27:35,320 You think richard's really gonna get that freaked out? 669 00:27:35,353 --> 00:27:36,888 Take her to a motel. 670 00:27:36,921 --> 00:27:38,123 I can't take her to a motel. 671 00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:39,791 It'll ruin the whole... 672 00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:40,859 mood? 673 00:27:40,892 --> 00:27:42,460 Exactly. 674 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:43,795 Well, then, you're stuck here with us, jon. 675 00:27:43,828 --> 00:27:45,263 Jon: fine. 676 00:27:45,296 --> 00:27:48,299 I just don't want anyone calling me a liar. 677 00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:52,137 Oh, no, here we go on this peculiar notion of yours 678 00:27:52,170 --> 00:27:53,872 About the size of a woman's-- 679 00:27:53,905 --> 00:27:56,141 Luscious lips. 680 00:27:56,174 --> 00:27:58,410 And based on the correspondence to the-- 681 00:27:58,443 --> 00:28:00,045 Jon: length of the nipple. 682 00:28:00,078 --> 00:28:03,148 Gentlemen, my advanced research proves 683 00:28:03,181 --> 00:28:04,949 Beyond the shadow of a doubt 684 00:28:04,983 --> 00:28:07,185 That the lips are a definitive indicator of the-- 685 00:28:07,218 --> 00:28:08,787 Both: erective nipples. 686 00:28:08,820 --> 00:28:11,156 We know. Jon: exactly. 687 00:28:11,189 --> 00:28:13,792 Fellas, take a good look at those lips. 688 00:28:18,963 --> 00:28:20,365 You're sick. 689 00:28:20,398 --> 00:28:22,233 I mean, we're talking about at least an inch, 690 00:28:22,267 --> 00:28:24,536 Probably an inch and a half. I'm willing to bet 2 inches. 691 00:28:24,569 --> 00:28:25,970 Now... 692 00:28:26,004 --> 00:28:28,206 who would like to put their money 693 00:28:28,239 --> 00:28:31,476 Where their mouths wish they were? 694 00:28:31,509 --> 00:28:33,211 Well, maybe just you, keaton. 695 00:28:33,244 --> 00:28:34,446 Ok, ha ha. 696 00:28:34,479 --> 00:28:35,947 Well, tell me this, jon. 697 00:28:35,980 --> 00:28:37,315 What exactly is the scientific formula 698 00:28:37,348 --> 00:28:38,483 For extrapolating the length 699 00:28:38,516 --> 00:28:40,852 Of an erect nipple from the, uh-- 700 00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:42,153 Surface area 701 00:28:42,187 --> 00:28:43,521 And girth of the lips. 702 00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:45,223 David, it's so simple. 703 00:28:45,256 --> 00:28:47,525 "L" equals "en" squared. 704 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:50,328 Lips equals erect nipples squared. 705 00:28:50,361 --> 00:28:52,897 [Both laughing] 706 00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:55,266 David: thanks, professor. 707 00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:57,402 Fine, go ahead. 708 00:28:57,435 --> 00:28:58,570 Laugh, laugh. 709 00:28:58,603 --> 00:29:00,872 Would you like me to get... 710 00:29:00,905 --> 00:29:02,307 photographic proof? 711 00:29:04,209 --> 00:29:06,010 I mean, do you actually think that i would, like, 712 00:29:06,044 --> 00:29:08,346 Retouch these luscious gifts from god? 713 00:29:08,379 --> 00:29:10,415 Yes, i do. 714 00:29:13,384 --> 00:29:15,019 Ok. 715 00:29:15,053 --> 00:29:17,522 [Snaps fingers] i got it. 716 00:29:17,555 --> 00:29:20,291 The jacuzzi. 717 00:29:20,325 --> 00:29:22,160 So i make a list of everything 718 00:29:22,193 --> 00:29:23,962 I think i want from a guy, 719 00:29:23,995 --> 00:29:25,930 You know, in a relationship, 720 00:29:25,964 --> 00:29:28,166 And then i just make a list of all the guys i know, 721 00:29:28,199 --> 00:29:32,203 And then i'll see if anything matches. 722 00:29:32,237 --> 00:29:34,839 And then what? 723 00:29:34,873 --> 00:29:36,574 Then i take 'em home and fuck 'em. 724 00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:38,376 [Laughs] 725 00:29:40,345 --> 00:29:41,980 Nice. 726 00:29:42,013 --> 00:29:43,148 Yeah, and that works. It actually works, right? 727 00:29:43,181 --> 00:29:44,449 You find somebody very good that way. 728 00:29:44,482 --> 00:29:47,185 Well, hey, i found an impregnator. 729 00:29:47,218 --> 00:29:49,487 Yeah, but not a husband. 730 00:29:49,521 --> 00:29:50,588 No. 731 00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,223 Oh. 732 00:29:56,361 --> 00:29:58,630 Well, i know what i want. 733 00:29:58,663 --> 00:30:00,965 I just need to know what they're really like. 734 00:30:00,999 --> 00:30:02,233 Lisa: what, the boys? 735 00:30:02,267 --> 00:30:04,469 Well, they're pretty true to form. 736 00:30:04,502 --> 00:30:06,504 I mean, what you see is what you get. 737 00:30:06,538 --> 00:30:09,174 No, i mean in bed. 738 00:30:09,207 --> 00:30:10,608 Oh. 739 00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:14,546 Well, now this is getting interesting. 740 00:30:14,579 --> 00:30:17,015 What? What-- 741 00:30:17,048 --> 00:30:18,183 Don't look at me. 742 00:30:18,216 --> 00:30:19,551 I've never slept with them. 743 00:30:19,584 --> 00:30:21,419 Jane: please, do we buy this? 744 00:30:21,452 --> 00:30:24,088 Come on. I mean, you know a bunch of guys for 10 years, 745 00:30:24,122 --> 00:30:25,890 And you don't do it with them? 746 00:30:25,924 --> 00:30:28,092 No, i didn't. 747 00:30:28,126 --> 00:30:29,427 Oh, please, that doesn't sound very natural, 748 00:30:29,460 --> 00:30:30,662 Does it? 749 00:30:30,695 --> 00:30:31,996 No. No. 750 00:30:33,631 --> 00:30:35,433 You're not a lesbo, are you? 751 00:30:35,466 --> 00:30:38,970 No! Jesus! 752 00:30:39,003 --> 00:30:40,438 There's nothing wrong with it. 753 00:30:40,471 --> 00:30:42,273 No! 754 00:30:42,307 --> 00:30:44,976 Well, the only thing i know is that my brother, keaton, 755 00:30:45,009 --> 00:30:46,344 He's supposed to, um... 756 00:30:46,377 --> 00:30:48,513 have a long penis. 757 00:30:48,546 --> 00:30:53,117 I mean, a really, really long penis. 758 00:30:53,151 --> 00:30:55,320 Really? 759 00:30:56,654 --> 00:30:59,891 Ok, now wait. 760 00:31:01,125 --> 00:31:02,527 Now, remember, 761 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:04,629 A wolf in sheep's clothing. 762 00:31:04,662 --> 00:31:06,231 Arooo. 763 00:31:06,264 --> 00:31:07,599 So is the bellybutton like one of those 764 00:31:07,632 --> 00:31:09,133 Little turkey popper things? 765 00:31:09,167 --> 00:31:11,135 Like, when it's done, it "poop"! 766 00:31:11,169 --> 00:31:12,270 Ha ha ha. 767 00:31:12,303 --> 00:31:14,205 It's almost done! 768 00:31:14,239 --> 00:31:16,207 Hey. 769 00:31:16,241 --> 00:31:19,244 Listen, you guys don't want to take a jacuzzi, do you? 770 00:31:19,277 --> 00:31:21,346 Carla: sure. Yeah. 771 00:31:21,379 --> 00:31:23,481 Well, it's not gonna be ready for a half-Hour. 772 00:31:23,514 --> 00:31:25,350 I mean, you guys still have to clean up, right? 773 00:31:25,383 --> 00:31:27,418 We're done now. 774 00:31:27,452 --> 00:31:28,620 Yeah. 775 00:31:28,653 --> 00:31:30,688 We just have to get changed. 776 00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:33,358 Ok, i'll, uh... tell 'em you're coming. 777 00:31:35,026 --> 00:31:36,060 He's so cute. 778 00:31:36,094 --> 00:31:38,196 I think he's a virgin. 779 00:31:38,229 --> 00:31:39,530 No. Are you kidding? 780 00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:41,132 No. 781 00:31:41,165 --> 00:31:43,067 Well, let's get him to lose the antlers, 782 00:31:43,101 --> 00:31:44,335 And maybe we can find him someone. 783 00:31:44,369 --> 00:31:45,637 [Laughs] 784 00:31:45,670 --> 00:31:48,039 Ok, i will go to the jacuzzi, 785 00:31:48,072 --> 00:31:49,540 Remove the thermometer. 786 00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:51,042 I will look at it. Then i will say, 787 00:31:51,075 --> 00:31:53,711 "Ok, the jacuzzi is ready." 788 00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:57,115 Then you will say, "ok, everybody strip." 789 00:31:57,148 --> 00:31:58,449 And you think that's gonna work? 790 00:31:58,483 --> 00:32:00,018 I know it's going to work! 791 00:32:00,051 --> 00:32:02,086 Just be sure that carla is in the precise position. 792 00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:03,187 They're coming! 793 00:32:03,221 --> 00:32:05,523 What?! Uhh! 794 00:32:05,556 --> 00:32:06,724 Oh, shit! 795 00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:08,993 [Laughs] are you all right? 796 00:32:13,164 --> 00:32:14,532 It's only 65 degrees. 797 00:32:14,565 --> 00:32:15,767 They don't have to get in the jacuzzi. 798 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,368 They just have to get naked. 799 00:32:17,402 --> 00:32:20,071 Hi, guys. Hey. 800 00:32:20,104 --> 00:32:21,339 How's the water? 801 00:32:21,372 --> 00:32:23,007 Water's good. Water's good. 802 00:32:23,041 --> 00:32:24,208 Really? Sure. 803 00:32:24,242 --> 00:32:26,477 Are you wearing a bathing suit, jon? 804 00:32:26,511 --> 00:32:29,681 You don't have to wear a bathing suit in the jacuzzi. 805 00:32:29,714 --> 00:32:32,250 Why not? 806 00:32:32,283 --> 00:32:34,218 Well, because you're supposed to go... 807 00:32:34,252 --> 00:32:35,586 au naturel. 808 00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:37,622 Jane: yeah, well, you can count me out. 809 00:32:37,655 --> 00:32:40,224 I can't go in. I'll just dip my toes. 810 00:32:40,258 --> 00:32:42,226 Carla: so... 811 00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:43,361 everybody's getting naked? 812 00:32:43,394 --> 00:32:45,063 Yup. 813 00:32:46,164 --> 00:32:47,332 Yup. 814 00:32:48,433 --> 00:32:49,500 Yup. 815 00:32:49,534 --> 00:32:51,703 Ok. 816 00:32:51,736 --> 00:32:54,272 Come here. Come here. 817 00:32:56,841 --> 00:32:59,277 [Whispering] i didn't agree to this. 818 00:33:02,447 --> 00:33:04,182 Ok, but, uh... 819 00:33:04,215 --> 00:33:05,350 you guys go first. 820 00:33:05,383 --> 00:33:06,551 No offense. Yeah. 821 00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:10,621 Strip. 822 00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:13,691 Ok. No problem. 823 00:33:13,725 --> 00:33:14,792 Strip. 824 00:33:14,826 --> 00:33:17,695 Strip. 825 00:33:19,697 --> 00:33:20,798 Get ready. 826 00:33:25,336 --> 00:33:28,473 Oh, my god! Holy shit! 827 00:33:28,506 --> 00:33:30,274 Lisa: it's fucking gargantuan! 828 00:33:30,308 --> 00:33:31,743 I told you. [Lisa screams] 829 00:33:31,776 --> 00:33:34,045 It's huge! Aah! 830 00:33:35,413 --> 00:33:37,081 Jon: damn it! 831 00:33:37,115 --> 00:33:39,083 [Door closes] keaton! 832 00:33:39,117 --> 00:33:40,551 What? 833 00:33:40,585 --> 00:33:42,186 You scared 'em away! 834 00:33:43,454 --> 00:33:45,123 It was your idea, jon. 835 00:33:45,156 --> 00:33:47,492 [All laughing] 836 00:33:58,803 --> 00:34:02,240 Lisa: i was never so frightened in my entire life. 837 00:34:02,273 --> 00:34:04,709 That would give any women second thoughts, huh? 838 00:34:04,742 --> 00:34:06,310 Jesus! 839 00:34:06,344 --> 00:34:08,379 What would you even do with that? 840 00:34:08,413 --> 00:34:11,416 Don't ask me. I'm his sister. 841 00:34:11,449 --> 00:34:13,151 Oh, are you ok? 842 00:34:13,184 --> 00:34:14,786 No, it's just the baby kicked. 843 00:34:14,819 --> 00:34:16,154 Can i feel? 844 00:34:16,187 --> 00:34:17,789 Yeah, sure. Here. Come here. 845 00:34:20,291 --> 00:34:22,360 Jane: ah, you feel that? 846 00:34:22,393 --> 00:34:23,795 Carla: no. Here. 847 00:34:23,828 --> 00:34:25,263 Wait. 848 00:34:27,265 --> 00:34:29,267 God, i can't hear it, either. 849 00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:30,768 Her. It's a she. 850 00:34:30,802 --> 00:34:32,703 Oh, you had an amnio? 851 00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:34,238 No. 852 00:34:34,272 --> 00:34:35,673 There's no wienie on the ultrasound. 853 00:34:35,706 --> 00:34:37,508 Oh, all right! 854 00:34:37,542 --> 00:34:39,343 Carla: yeah, and with those penises in your family, 855 00:34:39,377 --> 00:34:40,845 You'd definitely see it. 856 00:34:40,878 --> 00:34:43,514 You'd probably just give birth to one large penis. 857 00:34:43,548 --> 00:34:45,683 There wouldn't be much room in there for anything else. 858 00:34:45,716 --> 00:34:47,852 Lisa: definitely. It would be the whole baby. 859 00:34:47,885 --> 00:34:49,754 Just a penis. 860 00:34:49,787 --> 00:34:51,889 Oh, yeah! [Laughs] 861 00:34:51,923 --> 00:34:54,459 Do not fear, gentlemen. 862 00:34:54,492 --> 00:34:55,693 Victory is not lost. 863 00:34:55,726 --> 00:34:57,228 Oh, will you quit? 864 00:34:57,261 --> 00:34:59,430 What we need is a really good plan "b." 865 00:34:59,464 --> 00:35:00,698 Fuck plan "b." 866 00:35:00,731 --> 00:35:04,669 Ok, odd man gets the cot. 867 00:35:04,702 --> 00:35:06,704 Even man bunks up. 868 00:35:06,737 --> 00:35:09,474 There's one for you. 869 00:35:09,507 --> 00:35:11,342 One for you. On 3. 870 00:35:11,375 --> 00:35:14,178 1, 2, 3, flip. 871 00:35:15,313 --> 00:35:16,781 Heads. Heads. 872 00:35:16,814 --> 00:35:18,282 Tails! Ha ha! 873 00:35:18,316 --> 00:35:19,717 Shit. 874 00:35:19,750 --> 00:35:21,586 You should know, jon, that i like to sleep... 875 00:35:21,619 --> 00:35:23,221 au naturel. 876 00:35:25,590 --> 00:35:26,624 [David laughs] 877 00:35:26,657 --> 00:35:27,892 Jon: jerk. 878 00:35:29,393 --> 00:35:30,561 [Sighs] 879 00:35:32,396 --> 00:35:34,365 Can't believe my sister's pregnant. 880 00:35:34,398 --> 00:35:36,634 Oh, uncle keaton. 881 00:35:38,402 --> 00:35:40,271 You know, keaton, i've been wondering, 882 00:35:40,304 --> 00:35:41,672 If i have sex with a pregnant woman, 883 00:35:41,706 --> 00:35:42,940 Is that child abuse? 884 00:35:44,775 --> 00:35:47,645 That depends on the size of your penis, jon. 885 00:35:51,616 --> 00:35:52,950 You should be all right. 886 00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:54,485 Hmm, exactly. 887 00:35:54,519 --> 00:35:55,620 Mm-Hmm. 888 00:36:00,291 --> 00:36:01,592 [Sniffs] 889 00:36:14,639 --> 00:36:15,840 You know, jane... 890 00:36:15,873 --> 00:36:17,441 mm-Hmm? 891 00:36:17,475 --> 00:36:20,545 I've been meaning to ask you a question. 892 00:36:20,578 --> 00:36:22,580 Shoot. 893 00:36:22,613 --> 00:36:24,515 When you're-- 894 00:36:24,549 --> 00:36:26,984 You know... 895 00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:28,920 pregnant? 896 00:36:28,953 --> 00:36:30,688 Right. 897 00:36:30,721 --> 00:36:32,723 Can you still... 898 00:36:34,825 --> 00:36:36,460 you know? 899 00:36:38,462 --> 00:36:40,598 Have sex? 900 00:36:40,631 --> 00:36:41,933 Exactly. 901 00:36:45,469 --> 00:36:49,273 Well, you can, but, um... 902 00:36:51,342 --> 00:36:55,846 i prefer to just give a really good blow job. 903 00:36:56,948 --> 00:36:58,482 Night. 904 00:37:10,361 --> 00:37:13,531 [Door creaking] 905 00:37:48,065 --> 00:37:49,700 [Whispering] carla. 906 00:37:50,801 --> 00:37:52,103 What? 907 00:37:52,136 --> 00:37:53,971 Are you sleeping? 908 00:37:54,005 --> 00:37:57,575 [Chuckles] do i sound asleep? 909 00:37:57,608 --> 00:37:59,777 I need a place to sleep. 910 00:37:59,810 --> 00:38:01,646 You have a place to sleep. 911 00:38:01,679 --> 00:38:03,681 What? Uhh! 912 00:38:03,714 --> 00:38:04,915 Carla! 913 00:38:04,949 --> 00:38:07,718 Jon, blow this. 914 00:38:07,752 --> 00:38:08,986 Stop it! 915 00:38:09,020 --> 00:38:10,488 Attack! 916 00:38:11,722 --> 00:38:13,324 [Door opens] 917 00:38:14,425 --> 00:38:15,826 [Door closes] 918 00:38:22,033 --> 00:38:23,567 Ian? 919 00:38:32,009 --> 00:38:33,744 [Knocks on door] 920 00:38:33,778 --> 00:38:34,979 Ian? 921 00:38:37,148 --> 00:38:38,816 [Knocks] 922 00:38:38,849 --> 00:38:40,351 Ian? 923 00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:47,825 Ian... 924 00:38:47,858 --> 00:38:49,460 i'm so glad you made it. 925 00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:52,063 [Drowsy] huh? I'm sleeping. 926 00:38:52,096 --> 00:38:53,931 We'll talk in the morning. 927 00:38:53,964 --> 00:38:55,700 Ok. 928 00:39:23,961 --> 00:39:25,429 Ian... 929 00:39:28,132 --> 00:39:30,701 i just want you to know how delighted i am 930 00:39:30,735 --> 00:39:32,069 That you've come. 931 00:39:40,745 --> 00:39:43,214 Ok, look, i-- I have something to say to you, 932 00:39:43,247 --> 00:39:46,550 And if you will just let me say it without interrupting, 933 00:39:46,584 --> 00:39:49,186 I think i can get through it. 934 00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:53,691 I realized when i didn't hear from you 935 00:39:53,724 --> 00:39:54,892 After your mother died-- 936 00:39:56,594 --> 00:39:57,928 Well, i tried to think back 937 00:39:57,962 --> 00:39:59,897 To when it was that we last talked, 938 00:39:59,930 --> 00:40:03,067 And i realized that we-- 939 00:40:05,536 --> 00:40:07,805 Well, that your mother always talked for us, 940 00:40:07,838 --> 00:40:10,741 And that we-- 941 00:40:10,775 --> 00:40:12,710 We never really talked. 942 00:40:14,912 --> 00:40:17,014 I realize i was working, 943 00:40:17,047 --> 00:40:20,885 But, see, when you own your own business, you-- 944 00:40:20,918 --> 00:40:23,954 You get caught up in the day-To-Day operations, 945 00:40:23,988 --> 00:40:28,559 And you just-- You start putting other things second. 946 00:40:30,528 --> 00:40:32,596 See, my generation thought that working 947 00:40:32,630 --> 00:40:35,533 Was the best way to take care of our families. 948 00:40:38,669 --> 00:40:40,004 I've thought about that. 949 00:40:43,774 --> 00:40:45,209 Then i look at that photograph of you 950 00:40:45,242 --> 00:40:49,213 That i always keep on my desk, and... 951 00:40:49,246 --> 00:40:51,782 it's 20 years old, and i just-- 952 00:40:51,816 --> 00:40:53,551 I just-- I don't know, 953 00:40:53,584 --> 00:40:56,854 How did i not notice the time slip by? 954 00:41:06,997 --> 00:41:10,034 So what i would like to do if i can 955 00:41:10,067 --> 00:41:14,071 Is i would like to try to make it up to you somehow, 956 00:41:14,104 --> 00:41:16,974 Or-- Or we can just start again. 957 00:41:19,743 --> 00:41:23,747 'Cause you're my son, and i'm your father. 958 00:41:23,781 --> 00:41:25,883 I mean, if-- If-- If you want to. 959 00:41:28,586 --> 00:41:30,287 So that's what i wanted to tell you... 960 00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:34,725 that i love you. 961 00:41:36,894 --> 00:41:41,732 Oh, my son. My beautiful son. 962 00:41:41,765 --> 00:41:43,300 What--Jon! Whoa! 963 00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:46,237 Why did you let me go on and on like that? 964 00:41:46,270 --> 00:41:48,973 I just-- And just make a fool out of myself? 965 00:41:49,006 --> 00:41:51,242 Mr. Wickham, please, 966 00:41:51,275 --> 00:41:53,611 You didn't make a fool out of yourself. 967 00:41:53,644 --> 00:41:56,046 Look, i'm sorry... 968 00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:57,882 but that's the most beautiful thing 969 00:41:57,915 --> 00:41:59,283 I've ever heard anyone ever say. 970 00:41:59,316 --> 00:42:02,353 Oh, jon. Please, just-- 971 00:42:02,386 --> 00:42:04,755 Jon: mr. Wickham? 972 00:42:04,788 --> 00:42:06,090 Look, i'm very sorry, 973 00:42:06,123 --> 00:42:07,925 But when ian didn't show up, 974 00:42:07,958 --> 00:42:09,126 I didn't think that anybody would mind if i-- 975 00:42:09,159 --> 00:42:10,995 If i slept there. 976 00:42:11,028 --> 00:42:12,796 Well, it's time to get up anyway, isn't it? 977 00:42:12,830 --> 00:42:14,899 You'll want to get an early start back. 978 00:42:16,834 --> 00:42:19,904 [Sighs] 979 00:42:19,937 --> 00:42:22,072 Ian? Oh ho ho! 980 00:42:22,106 --> 00:42:25,809 Oh, great, here you are on the goddamn couch! 981 00:42:25,843 --> 00:42:27,211 Ah! 982 00:42:27,244 --> 00:42:29,847 What the hell was i thinking? 983 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,682 Ian, buddy! 984 00:42:31,715 --> 00:42:33,217 Let me tell you, your dad is great! 985 00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:34,752 I'm leaving. 986 00:42:37,855 --> 00:42:39,089 Ian? 987 00:42:39,123 --> 00:42:40,324 Keaton: jon, where's he going? 988 00:42:40,357 --> 00:42:41,625 Oh, he's leaving. 989 00:42:41,659 --> 00:42:42,893 David: oh, no, he's not! 990 00:42:42,927 --> 00:42:44,395 Oh, shit! He's leaving! 991 00:42:44,428 --> 00:42:45,763 Ian! 992 00:42:45,796 --> 00:42:47,865 Ian, come back here! 993 00:42:49,366 --> 00:42:51,201 Hey! Breakfast! 994 00:42:51,235 --> 00:42:52,836 Everybody up! 995 00:42:52,870 --> 00:42:55,239 I broke the pan. I'm cooking something else. 996 00:42:55,272 --> 00:42:56,774 Richard: come on! Everybody up! 997 00:42:56,807 --> 00:42:59,343 Oh, shit. He's cooking again. 998 00:43:01,145 --> 00:43:02,646 Ian, where are you going? 999 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:03,981 Oh, a little place called "not here." 1000 00:43:04,014 --> 00:43:05,249 Ian? 1001 00:43:05,282 --> 00:43:06,684 What?! 1002 00:43:06,717 --> 00:43:08,085 Would you please ask this woman 1003 00:43:08,118 --> 00:43:09,787 To stop harassing me? 1004 00:43:09,820 --> 00:43:12,723 Ok, i know my way around a kitchen. 1005 00:43:12,756 --> 00:43:14,224 No, no, just-- 1006 00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:16,026 And clean up and have some breakfast 1007 00:43:16,060 --> 00:43:17,728 Before you take off for the slopes, all right? 1008 00:43:17,761 --> 00:43:18,963 Ok, look, i know-- 1009 00:43:20,230 --> 00:43:21,899 Fuck! 1010 00:43:21,932 --> 00:43:23,434 Come on. 1011 00:43:23,467 --> 00:43:24,902 You'll thank us later. 1012 00:43:26,804 --> 00:43:28,739 Where-- Where are you, dad?! 1013 00:43:28,772 --> 00:43:30,774 Richard: in the kitchen. 1014 00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:36,013 Well, look at you. [Chuckles] 1015 00:43:38,182 --> 00:43:39,850 You've never been more beautiful. 1016 00:43:41,251 --> 00:43:42,920 You're a prince among men. 1017 00:43:44,421 --> 00:43:46,290 Richard: ian! 1018 00:43:48,792 --> 00:43:50,327 Just let me-- Please. 1019 00:43:50,361 --> 00:43:53,130 We have to talk. This passive-Aggressive shit-- 1020 00:43:53,163 --> 00:43:55,099 Ian, your father is gonna cook. 1021 00:43:55,132 --> 00:43:56,900 [Scoffs] like he can cook. 1022 00:43:56,934 --> 00:43:58,969 Excuse me, have you seen the carnage? 1023 00:43:59,003 --> 00:44:00,704 What? I'll buy a new one. 1024 00:44:00,738 --> 00:44:02,006 I don't know--What is the big deal? 1025 00:44:02,039 --> 00:44:03,741 Somebody could have lost an eye. 1026 00:44:03,774 --> 00:44:04,942 Oh, that's ridiculous. 1027 00:44:04,975 --> 00:44:06,877 Do you want to talk? Ian... 1028 00:44:06,910 --> 00:44:08,779 i thought i would make you something nice for breakfast. 1029 00:44:08,812 --> 00:44:11,248 Breakfast. 1030 00:44:11,281 --> 00:44:13,283 May i? 1031 00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:16,320 I want to just-- Whatever. 1032 00:44:16,353 --> 00:44:18,689 Hi. Hey. 1033 00:44:20,124 --> 00:44:22,726 You know, uh... 1034 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,228 [clears throat] 1035 00:44:24,261 --> 00:44:26,096 We don't really have time for breakfast, ok? 1036 00:44:26,130 --> 00:44:27,731 Yeah. 1037 00:44:27,765 --> 00:44:29,066 Lift lines are gonna be 3 hours long as it is, 1038 00:44:29,099 --> 00:44:30,334 So why don't we just go skiing? 1039 00:44:30,367 --> 00:44:32,136 We came to ski, and we'll, uh-- 1040 00:44:32,169 --> 00:44:33,237 We can always talk later. 1041 00:44:33,270 --> 00:44:35,039 Lot to talk. 1042 00:44:35,072 --> 00:44:36,840 Let's get out of the kitchen, and we'll go skiing. 1043 00:44:36,874 --> 00:44:38,809 Ok, we'll leave that. 1044 00:44:53,190 --> 00:44:55,259 Oh, my god. 1045 00:44:55,292 --> 00:44:57,161 Hans: good morning, group. 1046 00:44:57,194 --> 00:44:59,963 What a very lucky and special group of people you are, 1047 00:44:59,997 --> 00:45:02,032 Because you will be learning to ski 1048 00:45:02,066 --> 00:45:03,767 From hans. That is me. 1049 00:45:03,801 --> 00:45:04,902 What, you know him? 1050 00:45:04,935 --> 00:45:07,004 Sort of. 1051 00:45:07,037 --> 00:45:08,839 Hans: i've been skiing since i was knee-High to a grasshopper. 1052 00:45:08,872 --> 00:45:10,374 Now, i'm going to tell you right off the bat 1053 00:45:10,407 --> 00:45:12,076 That i'm going to teach you to ski 1054 00:45:12,109 --> 00:45:15,479 The way what i learned how to ski myself, 1055 00:45:15,512 --> 00:45:18,515 What is the best way in the world. 1056 00:45:18,549 --> 00:45:20,050 There are only 2 rules. 1057 00:45:20,084 --> 00:45:22,986 One is never leave the group, 1058 00:45:23,020 --> 00:45:26,490 And rule number 2 is do exactly what i say 1059 00:45:26,523 --> 00:45:28,192 At all times when i say it. 1060 00:45:28,225 --> 00:45:30,794 Should i ask you to skewer yourself 1061 00:45:30,828 --> 00:45:32,563 With your ski pole in the genitals, you must. 1062 00:45:32,596 --> 00:45:35,365 It could save your life later on at some point. 1063 00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:37,201 Should i even ask you perhaps, 1064 00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:38,902 No reason, out of left field, 1065 00:45:38,936 --> 00:45:41,805 To just take a little bite of a snowball, you must. 1066 00:45:41,839 --> 00:45:43,307 It could save your life. 1067 00:45:44,908 --> 00:45:46,343 It is you. Carla: yup. 1068 00:45:46,376 --> 00:45:48,378 Ca-- Car-- 1069 00:45:48,412 --> 00:45:50,214 Carla. Carla. 1070 00:45:50,247 --> 00:45:51,515 Carla! I'm working with carla! 1071 00:45:51,548 --> 00:45:53,183 Everyone else, do not leave the group! 1072 00:45:53,217 --> 00:45:55,853 Do exactly what i say when i say it at all times! 1073 00:45:57,354 --> 00:45:59,056 I'm going to give you a private lesson. 1074 00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:00,491 Ok. 1075 00:46:00,524 --> 00:46:02,292 Do you know the expression the bigger they are, 1076 00:46:02,326 --> 00:46:03,494 The harder they fall? 1077 00:46:03,527 --> 00:46:06,163 Ja. Ja. 1078 00:46:06,196 --> 00:46:10,100 So, ok, give up to me the tip of your pole. 1079 00:46:10,134 --> 00:46:12,136 Ja! 1080 00:46:12,169 --> 00:46:13,137 Everyone may now look. 1081 00:46:13,170 --> 00:46:15,005 You see carla has fallen. 1082 00:46:15,038 --> 00:46:17,875 I now give her what is known as a pole-Up. 1083 00:46:17,908 --> 00:46:19,143 Oof! 1084 00:46:19,176 --> 00:46:20,477 That is... 1085 00:46:20,511 --> 00:46:22,112 hmm? 1086 00:46:22,146 --> 00:46:24,214 Mein gott. 1087 00:46:24,248 --> 00:46:25,849 You are the goods. 1088 00:46:25,883 --> 00:46:27,384 Everyone can stop relaxing! 1089 00:46:27,417 --> 00:46:29,153 We have one natural in the group! 1090 00:46:29,186 --> 00:46:32,623 The rest of you are probably not even worth mentioning, 1091 00:46:32,656 --> 00:46:34,124 But we will continue anyway. 1092 00:46:36,059 --> 00:46:38,595 ™� watch me, 'cause i'm king of the hill ♪ 1093 00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:41,165 ™� set me in motion, yeah, you give me a thrill ♪ 1094 00:46:41,198 --> 00:46:43,467 ™� when you come near me, when you come near me ♪ 1095 00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:46,870 ™� i can't keep still 1096 00:46:50,474 --> 00:46:53,110 ™� till then, i can't keep still ♪ 1097 00:46:53,143 --> 00:46:55,145 ™� no, i just can't keep still ♪ 1098 00:46:55,179 --> 00:46:57,614 ™� be my baby, say you will... ♪ 1099 00:47:00,250 --> 00:47:02,085 Well, you're good, mr. Wickham, damn good. 1100 00:47:02,119 --> 00:47:04,888 Richard. Call me richard, ok? 1101 00:47:04,922 --> 00:47:06,056 Now, where's ian? 1102 00:47:06,089 --> 00:47:07,324 Oh, he's coming. 1103 00:47:07,357 --> 00:47:08,525 Is he all right? 1104 00:47:08,559 --> 00:47:09,927 He's fine. He's fine. 1105 00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:11,261 Well, then, shall we? 1106 00:47:11,295 --> 00:47:12,663 Don't you guys want to wait for ian? 1107 00:47:12,696 --> 00:47:14,531 Nah, let's go. The heck with ian. 1108 00:47:14,565 --> 00:47:16,200 Here we go. 1109 00:47:16,233 --> 00:47:17,301 See you below! 1110 00:47:17,334 --> 00:47:18,969 Losers. 1111 00:47:19,002 --> 00:47:21,238 ™� watch me coming in for the kill ♪ 1112 00:47:21,271 --> 00:47:23,974 ™� gotta kiss those lips, gotta have my fill ♪ 1113 00:47:24,007 --> 00:47:26,143 ™� make me shiver 1114 00:47:26,176 --> 00:47:27,578 ™� feel those chills 1115 00:47:27,611 --> 00:47:31,181 ™� do me till i can't keep still... ♪ 1116 00:47:34,151 --> 00:47:36,253 Oh, my god. Oh, my god. 1117 00:47:36,286 --> 00:47:38,155 Ian? Are you all right? 1118 00:47:38,188 --> 00:47:39,656 [Weak] i can't feel my legs. 1119 00:47:39,690 --> 00:47:42,192 I can't feel my legs. I think i broke my back. 1120 00:47:42,226 --> 00:47:43,360 Oh, my god. Don't move. 1121 00:47:43,393 --> 00:47:45,229 Don't...move! 1122 00:47:45,262 --> 00:47:47,164 [Gasping] god. Oh, god! 1123 00:47:47,197 --> 00:47:50,100 Oh, i see the light. I see the light. 1124 00:47:50,133 --> 00:47:51,235 I see the light-- 1125 00:47:51,268 --> 00:47:53,203 Medic! Medic! 1126 00:47:53,237 --> 00:47:55,272 How's my face? How's my face? 1127 00:47:55,305 --> 00:47:57,608 I've always wanted an open casket, seriously. 1128 00:47:57,641 --> 00:48:00,143 Oh, god! You know what? 1129 00:48:00,177 --> 00:48:02,179 I've had it with you and your father 1130 00:48:02,212 --> 00:48:04,348 And this whole shitty weekend! 1131 00:48:06,083 --> 00:48:07,451 [Laughs] 1132 00:48:07,484 --> 00:48:09,686 Hey. Hi! 1133 00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:11,088 You look good. 1134 00:48:11,121 --> 00:48:12,990 Yeah, i fall down really well. 1135 00:48:13,023 --> 00:48:16,226 So, uh, she's gettin' a private lesson, huh? 1136 00:48:16,260 --> 00:48:19,229 Yeah, i fell in love with a teacher once. 1137 00:48:19,263 --> 00:48:20,264 Yeah, and not since? 1138 00:48:20,297 --> 00:48:22,699 It's been a while. 1139 00:48:22,733 --> 00:48:25,135 Thank you. Ugh. 1140 00:48:25,168 --> 00:48:26,637 Ugh. 1141 00:48:26,670 --> 00:48:27,671 You all right? 1142 00:48:27,704 --> 00:48:29,306 So, uh... 1143 00:48:29,339 --> 00:48:31,208 there's some truth to the rumor? 1144 00:48:32,542 --> 00:48:34,444 Oh, i believe everything i hear. 1145 00:48:34,478 --> 00:48:36,079 You're still a virgin? 1146 00:48:36,113 --> 00:48:37,681 Excuse me? 1147 00:48:37,714 --> 00:48:40,017 Lisa said you're still a virgin. 1148 00:48:40,050 --> 00:48:42,286 [Sighs] 1149 00:48:43,620 --> 00:48:45,289 Well, you know, i mean, i've-- 1150 00:48:45,322 --> 00:48:46,990 Kissed and stuff? 1151 00:48:47,024 --> 00:48:48,592 [Laughter] yeah. 1152 00:48:48,625 --> 00:48:50,460 David. 1153 00:48:50,494 --> 00:48:52,296 Look... i know it's silly, 1154 00:48:52,329 --> 00:48:55,532 But i really wanted to wait for someone special. 1155 00:48:55,565 --> 00:48:58,035 I just never thought it would take this long. 1156 00:48:58,068 --> 00:48:59,236 [Laughing] 1157 00:48:59,269 --> 00:49:01,038 So, wait. You-- 1158 00:49:01,071 --> 00:49:03,206 You have never done the dirty deed? 1159 00:49:03,240 --> 00:49:07,477 Well, how exactly would you define that in my case? 1160 00:49:12,482 --> 00:49:14,251 Technically a virgin. 1161 00:49:14,284 --> 00:49:16,320 Spiritually...a whore. 1162 00:49:16,353 --> 00:49:18,255 [Laughs] ugh. 1163 00:49:18,288 --> 00:49:20,257 [Sighs] 1164 00:49:20,290 --> 00:49:23,226 Deva. Do you know what this is? 1165 00:49:23,260 --> 00:49:25,062 What's this word? Deva? 1166 00:49:25,095 --> 00:49:27,331 Hmm...a singer? 1167 00:49:27,364 --> 00:49:29,032 [Laughs] 1168 00:49:29,066 --> 00:49:30,600 No. No. 1169 00:49:30,634 --> 00:49:32,703 Silly. Deva is a ghost what lives in the forest. 1170 00:49:32,736 --> 00:49:34,204 Sure. 1171 00:49:34,237 --> 00:49:35,605 It's--Well, it's very subtle. 1172 00:49:35,639 --> 00:49:37,741 Only a trained eye can actually see it. 1173 00:49:37,774 --> 00:49:39,376 The spirit ghost. 1174 00:49:39,409 --> 00:49:40,811 Mm-Hmm. 1175 00:49:40,844 --> 00:49:44,247 My lord, deva. Right there. Look there. 1176 00:49:44,281 --> 00:49:45,415 Follow the pole. 1177 00:49:45,449 --> 00:49:46,750 Follow the pole, you see? 1178 00:49:46,783 --> 00:49:48,051 You see the deva there? 1179 00:49:48,085 --> 00:49:49,453 What am i looking for? 1180 00:49:49,486 --> 00:49:51,088 Well, it's so subtle. It's a mist. 1181 00:49:51,121 --> 00:49:55,292 It is a mist, a cohesion of the energy of life. 1182 00:49:55,325 --> 00:49:57,260 [Sighs] 1183 00:49:57,294 --> 00:49:58,628 Mm-Hmm. 1184 00:49:58,662 --> 00:50:00,263 It's-- You can't see it. 1185 00:50:00,297 --> 00:50:01,531 I can't see it. 1186 00:50:01,565 --> 00:50:03,133 You can't see. It's clear. 1187 00:50:03,166 --> 00:50:06,103 It's so clear to me. This is because... 1188 00:50:06,136 --> 00:50:08,538 well, your chakras are blocked. 1189 00:50:08,572 --> 00:50:10,474 Mm-Hmm. 1190 00:50:10,507 --> 00:50:13,543 Yes, mediation, meditation, is-- 1191 00:50:13,577 --> 00:50:15,278 It's the only cure. 1192 00:50:15,312 --> 00:50:17,514 The penetration of the dirty, 1193 00:50:17,547 --> 00:50:19,750 Rotten, clouded conscious mind 1194 00:50:19,783 --> 00:50:22,352 Into the wet, dark, vile, snapping turtle 1195 00:50:22,386 --> 00:50:23,754 Of the subconscious. Plunging! 1196 00:50:23,787 --> 00:50:26,123 The plunging, plunging, plunging 1197 00:50:26,156 --> 00:50:27,858 Over and over again, 1198 00:50:27,891 --> 00:50:29,326 You like this plunging? 1199 00:50:29,359 --> 00:50:31,128 [Giggles] i love the way you talk. 1200 00:50:31,161 --> 00:50:33,296 Yes, well, at last, after all, 1201 00:50:33,330 --> 00:50:35,732 You have to find out the meaning of life. 1202 00:50:35,766 --> 00:50:37,601 [Laughs] 1203 00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:17,908 Is it really such a terrible thing 1204 00:51:17,941 --> 00:51:21,144 That i wanna mend this relationship? 1205 00:51:21,178 --> 00:51:22,646 You're my son. 1206 00:51:24,414 --> 00:51:26,183 What do you want? 1207 00:51:27,617 --> 00:51:29,619 Isn't it obvious? 1208 00:51:29,653 --> 00:51:31,421 Ok, just-- Just say-- 1209 00:51:31,455 --> 00:51:33,256 Say it, ok? Just lay it out there. 1210 00:51:33,290 --> 00:51:34,658 Ok, i'm sorry. I really am. 1211 00:51:34,691 --> 00:51:36,460 I'm sorry, this-- This-- This has-- 1212 00:51:36,493 --> 00:51:37,594 This has been a mistake. 1213 00:51:37,627 --> 00:51:38,829 I-- I see that now. 1214 00:51:38,862 --> 00:51:41,565 It's just... 1215 00:51:41,598 --> 00:51:43,733 i feel like i'm not a good father 1216 00:51:43,767 --> 00:51:46,470 When you won't even talk to me. 1217 00:51:46,503 --> 00:51:48,405 See, i-- I want us to be able to be-- 1218 00:51:48,438 --> 00:51:50,807 I want us to be speaking. I wanna be able to-- 1219 00:51:50,841 --> 00:51:53,743 For heaven's sakes, pick up the phone and talk to you. 1220 00:51:53,777 --> 00:51:55,479 [Laughing] 1221 00:51:55,512 --> 00:51:56,847 Not a good father? 1222 00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:58,348 Well, you're-- You're not a good father. 1223 00:51:58,381 --> 00:51:59,583 You're not really a father at all. 1224 00:51:59,616 --> 00:52:00,817 All right. 1225 00:52:00,851 --> 00:52:02,552 Thank you. 1226 00:52:02,586 --> 00:52:03,820 I know we have problems, ian, 1227 00:52:03,854 --> 00:52:05,188 But i don't think this-- 1228 00:52:05,222 --> 00:52:06,389 Where-- Where-- Just tell me, 1229 00:52:06,423 --> 00:52:07,891 Where were you when it mattered? 1230 00:52:09,459 --> 00:52:10,594 I was working. 1231 00:52:10,627 --> 00:52:11,895 [Scoffs] come on, work. 1232 00:52:11,928 --> 00:52:13,396 What, you-- You own your own business. 1233 00:52:13,430 --> 00:52:15,198 You can take all the time off in the world. 1234 00:52:15,232 --> 00:52:16,399 That's-- That's-- That-- That's-- 1235 00:52:16,433 --> 00:52:17,567 That's true. 1236 00:52:17,601 --> 00:52:19,503 Well, what was it? Is it other women? 1237 00:52:19,536 --> 00:52:21,304 Don't be ridiculous, ian. 1238 00:52:21,338 --> 00:52:23,440 Ok. Ok, not to hear it from mom. 1239 00:52:23,473 --> 00:52:25,408 Your mother never thought that. 1240 00:52:26,510 --> 00:52:29,579 I-- You never loved me. 1241 00:52:29,613 --> 00:52:31,915 All right? You just say that. 1242 00:52:31,948 --> 00:52:34,584 You never loved me. 1243 00:52:34,618 --> 00:52:36,219 Right? 1244 00:52:37,654 --> 00:52:39,356 I mean, it's ok, 'cause, you know, 1245 00:52:39,389 --> 00:52:40,757 I've-- I've accepted it, but if you'd say it, 1246 00:52:40,790 --> 00:52:43,560 It would make things a whole lot easier, you know? 1247 00:52:43,593 --> 00:52:45,228 You know, but this whole charade 1248 00:52:45,262 --> 00:52:47,264 Of you, like, you know, wanting to be superdad 1249 00:52:47,297 --> 00:52:49,266 And, like, you know, uh, summing up your life 1250 00:52:49,299 --> 00:52:51,868 And wanting to get a some gold star fathering is a bunch of bullshit, 1251 00:52:51,902 --> 00:52:53,637 Ian. Ian. You know? 1252 00:53:00,810 --> 00:53:02,812 You know what? I'm-- I'm-- I'm just gonna-- I'm gonna go home, 1253 00:53:02,846 --> 00:53:04,347 If that's all right with you. 1254 00:53:04,381 --> 00:53:05,782 Of course you are. 1255 00:53:29,306 --> 00:53:30,974 You really don't have to. I mean, i can call jon. 1256 00:53:31,007 --> 00:53:32,342 Nooo. 1257 00:53:32,375 --> 00:53:33,810 He can come and get me. 1258 00:53:33,843 --> 00:53:35,312 No, don't call jon. Jon is unnecessary. 1259 00:53:35,345 --> 00:53:36,346 Ok. Ok? 1260 00:53:36,379 --> 00:53:37,514 God, i'm so stiff. 1261 00:53:37,547 --> 00:53:38,982 I know. 1262 00:53:39,015 --> 00:53:40,784 You know, from skiing. I didn't think it'd be-- 1263 00:53:40,817 --> 00:53:42,652 Well, it's partially spiritual, partially physical, 1264 00:53:42,686 --> 00:53:43,820 Partially-- Allow me. 1265 00:53:43,853 --> 00:53:44,888 Oh. 1266 00:53:44,921 --> 00:53:46,356 [Chuckles] 1267 00:53:46,389 --> 00:53:47,624 I'm the kind of girl you marry. 1268 00:53:47,657 --> 00:53:49,025 Yes. Yes. 1269 00:53:49,059 --> 00:53:50,327 I can respect this. No, i-- 1270 00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:51,561 Get off me now. 1271 00:53:51,595 --> 00:53:52,796 Wha-- Well-- I-- Komplick. 1272 00:53:52,829 --> 00:53:55,332 Do you know what this means? 1273 00:53:55,365 --> 00:53:56,633 Komplick? 1274 00:53:56,666 --> 00:53:58,568 Yes, komplick. No. 1275 00:53:58,602 --> 00:54:00,570 It means-- It means the person that you fall deeply, 1276 00:54:00,604 --> 00:54:02,539 Passionately, wildly in love-- 1277 00:54:02,572 --> 00:54:04,708 This is the first sighting. 1278 00:54:04,741 --> 00:54:05,942 Hmm. 1279 00:54:05,976 --> 00:54:07,777 Carla, this is what has happened to me, 1280 00:54:07,811 --> 00:54:10,080 Komplick with you. I am in love with you. Komplick. 1281 00:54:10,113 --> 00:54:12,349 Oh, really? I swear. 1282 00:54:12,382 --> 00:54:13,617 Ok, well, maybe we could kiss. 1283 00:54:17,420 --> 00:54:18,955 Did you say komplick? 1284 00:54:18,989 --> 00:54:21,291 Yes, komplick. 1285 00:54:23,526 --> 00:54:24,894 Can you say komplick? 1286 00:54:24,928 --> 00:54:26,696 Yeah, certainly. 1287 00:54:26,730 --> 00:54:27,797 Oh! Oh! 1288 00:54:27,831 --> 00:54:29,799 [Moaning] 1289 00:54:29,833 --> 00:54:31,434 [Horn honks] 1290 00:54:31,468 --> 00:54:33,803 ™� here i am 1291 00:54:33,837 --> 00:54:36,673 ™� stuck in the middle, don't you know ♪ 1292 00:54:36,706 --> 00:54:38,375 ™� here i am... 1293 00:54:38,408 --> 00:54:39,609 jane: now. David: just stop. 1294 00:54:39,643 --> 00:54:41,444 ™� stuck in the middle... 1295 00:54:41,478 --> 00:54:42,646 no! 1296 00:54:42,679 --> 00:54:43,880 I thought we were gonna talk. 1297 00:54:43,913 --> 00:54:46,016 We can talk. The two of us. 1298 00:54:46,049 --> 00:54:47,484 Great. You two talk. 1299 00:54:47,517 --> 00:54:48,752 No. You're not leaving this table 1300 00:54:48,785 --> 00:54:49,886 Until you make up your mind. 1301 00:54:49,919 --> 00:54:51,488 Keaton, help me. 1302 00:54:51,521 --> 00:54:52,956 I am not gonna let you ruin your life. 1303 00:54:52,989 --> 00:54:54,891 All you have to do is look around the room and pick. 1304 00:54:54,924 --> 00:54:55,992 Pick what? 1305 00:54:56,026 --> 00:54:57,427 Anybody. 1306 00:54:57,460 --> 00:54:58,828 Pardon me if i chalk it up 1307 00:54:58,862 --> 00:55:00,730 To the hormonal psychosis of the bun in your oven. 1308 00:55:00,764 --> 00:55:02,899 Hey! One day, you are gonna wake up old, 1309 00:55:02,932 --> 00:55:04,034 And you're gonna stare in the mirror 1310 00:55:04,067 --> 00:55:05,802 At a wrinkled, little face, 1311 00:55:05,835 --> 00:55:07,671 And you're gonna realize your whole life is over, 1312 00:55:07,704 --> 00:55:08,972 And ya still haven't got the balls 1313 00:55:09,005 --> 00:55:10,407 To walk across a room and say hello. 1314 00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:12,075 First of all, i've got great genes, 1315 00:55:12,108 --> 00:55:13,743 And second of all, it's my life, right? 1316 00:55:13,777 --> 00:55:14,911 Pick. Pick. 1317 00:55:14,944 --> 00:55:16,513 Keaton. 1318 00:55:16,546 --> 00:55:18,815 Pick. 1319 00:55:18,848 --> 00:55:23,620 ™� stuck in the middle of it all... ♪ 1320 00:55:23,653 --> 00:55:25,422 The guy at the refreshment stand. 1321 00:55:25,455 --> 00:55:26,856 Which guy? 1322 00:55:29,025 --> 00:55:30,894 The tall one with the gray jacket. 1323 00:55:30,927 --> 00:55:32,495 Cool. 1324 00:55:32,529 --> 00:55:34,130 Ooh, he's gorgeous. Now get over there. 1325 00:55:34,164 --> 00:55:35,765 Get over there and what? 1326 00:55:35,799 --> 00:55:37,534 Could he use my modus operandi on a guy 1327 00:55:37,567 --> 00:55:38,802 Like i do on a chick? 1328 00:55:38,835 --> 00:55:39,803 A chick? 1329 00:55:39,836 --> 00:55:40,937 A woman. 1330 00:55:40,970 --> 00:55:43,006 Look, guys, this is ridiculous. I-- 1331 00:55:43,039 --> 00:55:44,441 Shut up, david. 1332 00:55:44,474 --> 00:55:45,875 What's your m.O.? 1333 00:55:45,909 --> 00:55:47,510 Ask a woman something about herself. 1334 00:55:47,544 --> 00:55:49,446 Then i shut up and let her do the talking. 1335 00:55:51,715 --> 00:55:53,717 And that works? Every time. 1336 00:55:53,750 --> 00:55:56,986 See, the key here is to act like you're really listening. 1337 00:55:57,020 --> 00:55:59,556 Oh, men are pigs. 1338 00:55:59,589 --> 00:56:00,690 And women are? 1339 00:56:00,724 --> 00:56:02,058 Pig lovers. 1340 00:56:02,092 --> 00:56:03,626 Now get over there, ask him something, 1341 00:56:03,660 --> 00:56:04,828 Shut up, and pretend you're listening. 1342 00:56:04,861 --> 00:56:06,596 You think you can handle that? 1343 00:56:06,629 --> 00:56:07,964 What am i gonna ask him? 1344 00:56:07,997 --> 00:56:10,734 Ask him if he lifts. Guys love that shit, 1345 00:56:10,767 --> 00:56:12,769 Especially if they don't. 1346 00:56:12,802 --> 00:56:14,437 What's the worst thing that can happen? 1347 00:56:14,471 --> 00:56:17,640 Um, he has 10 friends, and they beat the shit outta me. 1348 00:56:17,674 --> 00:56:18,975 Uh, good point. 1349 00:56:19,008 --> 00:56:20,744 Thank you. 1350 00:56:20,777 --> 00:56:21,778 So we done with this? 1351 00:56:21,811 --> 00:56:23,012 No. 1352 00:56:23,046 --> 00:56:25,582 The maccarthys are here for you, 1353 00:56:25,615 --> 00:56:26,883 So get over there. 1354 00:56:26,916 --> 00:56:28,518 Go. 1355 00:56:28,551 --> 00:56:30,053 Go! 1356 00:56:30,086 --> 00:56:32,889 [Sighs] 1357 00:56:32,922 --> 00:56:34,424 I don't like the maccarthys. 1358 00:56:44,801 --> 00:56:47,103 ™� if that you would look my way ♪ 1359 00:56:47,137 --> 00:56:49,639 ™� that would really make my day ♪ 1360 00:56:49,672 --> 00:56:51,641 ™� 'cause i'm too shy 1361 00:56:51,674 --> 00:56:54,644 ™� yes, i'm too shy 1362 00:56:54,677 --> 00:56:57,680 ™� since i saw you sitting there ♪ 1363 00:56:57,714 --> 00:56:59,983 ™� can't do anything but stare ♪ 1364 00:57:00,016 --> 00:57:01,117 ™� 'cause i'm too shy... 1365 00:57:01,151 --> 00:57:02,252 excuse me. 1366 00:57:02,285 --> 00:57:04,888 ™� yes, i'm too shy 1367 00:57:04,921 --> 00:57:06,656 ™� so i've got to get my... 1368 00:57:06,689 --> 00:57:07,824 he's not interested. 1369 00:57:07,857 --> 00:57:09,025 Yes, he is. 1370 00:57:09,058 --> 00:57:10,527 No, i'm not going. 1371 00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:11,761 Come on. 1372 00:57:11,795 --> 00:57:13,062 Come on, you're gonna lose him. 1373 00:57:13,096 --> 00:57:16,599 ™� when i'm standin' there 1374 00:57:16,633 --> 00:57:19,803 ™� do you, baby... 1375 00:57:19,836 --> 00:57:21,538 where's he going? 1376 00:57:21,571 --> 00:57:23,173 He's leaving. Accept it. I have. 1377 00:57:23,206 --> 00:57:24,841 No, hurry. 1378 00:57:26,843 --> 00:57:28,144 Oh, good christ, he's going into the men's room. 1379 00:57:28,178 --> 00:57:29,612 Perfect. Perfect. 1380 00:57:29,646 --> 00:57:31,548 Go. Perfect. Perfect? 1381 00:57:33,983 --> 00:57:35,585 Wait a minute. 1382 00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:37,220 You want me to go into a public men's room 1383 00:57:37,253 --> 00:57:39,022 And say to a guy i've never met, "do you lift?" 1384 00:57:39,055 --> 00:57:40,757 Oh, ok. How 'bout nice jacket? 1385 00:57:40,790 --> 00:57:41,925 Take a peek at his package. 1386 00:57:41,958 --> 00:57:43,293 He'll get the idea. Yeah. 1387 00:57:43,326 --> 00:57:44,761 Then what, blow him in one of the stalls? 1388 00:57:44,794 --> 00:57:46,062 Yeah, that's a start. 1389 00:57:46,095 --> 00:57:47,197 I hate you. 1390 00:57:52,135 --> 00:57:53,937 Now what? 1391 00:57:53,970 --> 00:57:57,574 Wait till he finishes and, um, get him at the sinks. 1392 00:58:12,188 --> 00:58:13,923 You, uh, play chess? 1393 00:58:13,957 --> 00:58:15,892 I'm totally addicted, dude. 1394 00:58:15,925 --> 00:58:17,861 Yeah, me, too. 1395 00:58:17,894 --> 00:58:21,231 Although i don't get much of a chance to play these days. 1396 00:58:21,264 --> 00:58:23,867 Can't find good competition. 1397 00:58:23,900 --> 00:58:26,102 Oh, really? You're that good? 1398 00:58:26,135 --> 00:58:28,037 Oh, i decimate the computer. 1399 00:58:28,071 --> 00:58:29,205 Me, too. 1400 00:58:29,239 --> 00:58:30,907 Really? 1401 00:58:30,940 --> 00:58:32,575 Well, listen, uh, 1402 00:58:32,609 --> 00:58:33,877 Some friends and i are staying at a chalet, 1403 00:58:33,910 --> 00:58:35,979 And they, uh, happen to have a chessboard. 1404 00:58:36,012 --> 00:58:37,247 Wherever, whenever, dude. 1405 00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:38,681 David. 1406 00:58:38,715 --> 00:58:39,849 Manny. 1407 00:58:39,883 --> 00:58:41,084 Great. 1408 00:58:41,117 --> 00:58:43,286 What about your friend peein'? 1409 00:58:43,319 --> 00:58:45,989 David: oh. 1410 00:58:57,367 --> 00:58:58,668 Damn it! 1411 00:58:58,701 --> 00:58:59,869 Nice drivin', fancy boy. 1412 00:58:59,903 --> 00:59:01,037 Fuck you, fella. 1413 00:59:01,070 --> 00:59:02,238 Ian: no, fuck you, ok? 1414 00:59:02,272 --> 00:59:03,606 Jon: uh-Huh. 1415 00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:04,941 Ian: oh, great. 1416 00:59:04,974 --> 00:59:06,109 Ian, you're not leaving, are you? 1417 00:59:06,142 --> 00:59:07,343 Wait. 1418 00:59:07,377 --> 00:59:08,711 Jon: if there's any damage, mister-- 1419 00:59:08,745 --> 00:59:11,014 Lisa: jane, careful of the baby. 1420 00:59:11,047 --> 00:59:12,282 What is with these people? Come on! 1421 00:59:12,315 --> 00:59:13,650 Jon: some gratitude you got there. 1422 00:59:13,683 --> 00:59:14,984 Jane: i'm not getting out. 1423 00:59:16,085 --> 00:59:17,287 Keaton: jane... 1424 00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:18,855 wait a second! 1425 00:59:18,888 --> 00:59:24,227 British matchbox compared to my german technology. 1426 00:59:24,260 --> 00:59:26,095 Keaton: what did you do now, jon? 1427 00:59:32,735 --> 00:59:35,872 I'll drop you off whenever you want. 1428 00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:40,209 All right, suit yourself. 1429 00:59:44,113 --> 00:59:47,050 You just don't get it, do you, ian? 1430 00:59:47,083 --> 00:59:49,118 Well, maybe no one's explaining it right. 1431 00:59:49,152 --> 00:59:51,854 It doesn't matter how anyone explains it. 1432 00:59:51,888 --> 00:59:54,090 His coming here is still a loving act. 1433 00:59:54,123 --> 00:59:55,959 Why don't you get that? 1434 00:59:55,992 --> 00:59:57,293 You don't know my father. 1435 00:59:58,928 --> 01:00:00,330 I don't know your dad, 1436 01:00:00,363 --> 01:00:04,367 But i do know that fathering a child is one thing 1437 01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:07,370 And being a father, that's another. 1438 01:00:09,005 --> 01:00:10,306 He's reaching out to you. 1439 01:00:10,340 --> 01:00:11,841 You don't know how lucky you are. 1440 01:00:11,874 --> 01:00:13,743 [Scoffs] lucky? 1441 01:00:13,776 --> 01:00:15,745 [Scoffs] ok. 1442 01:00:15,778 --> 01:00:17,013 I know it seems like he cares, 1443 01:00:17,046 --> 01:00:19,349 But the guy was never there. 1444 01:00:19,382 --> 01:00:21,651 [Chuckles] 1445 01:00:22,852 --> 01:00:24,387 Even if he does mean it, 1446 01:00:24,420 --> 01:00:26,923 What difference does it make? It's too late. 1447 01:00:26,956 --> 01:00:29,125 Oh, well... 1448 01:00:29,158 --> 01:00:31,995 hold on to that. That's good. 1449 01:00:32,028 --> 01:00:33,296 [Laughs] 1450 01:00:34,397 --> 01:00:35,732 What do you mean? 1451 01:00:35,765 --> 01:00:37,266 Oh, 'cause you're-- 1452 01:00:37,300 --> 01:00:39,802 You're really teachin' him a lesson, aren't ya? 1453 01:00:42,438 --> 01:00:44,240 God, ian, you're fuckin' up. 1454 01:00:44,273 --> 01:00:46,009 [Sighs] 1455 01:00:46,042 --> 01:00:47,377 My life. 1456 01:00:47,410 --> 01:00:49,946 My fuckup. 1457 01:00:51,214 --> 01:00:53,182 Yeah. 1458 01:00:57,220 --> 01:00:59,088 [Telephone ringing] 1459 01:01:00,289 --> 01:01:01,858 Hello? 1460 01:01:01,891 --> 01:01:03,359 Richard, my flight's been delayed. 1461 01:01:03,393 --> 01:01:05,261 Oh. Oh. 1462 01:01:05,294 --> 01:01:08,164 Ok, well, uh, let me know what time you're coming, 1463 01:01:08,197 --> 01:01:10,166 And i'll come and pick you up. 1464 01:01:10,199 --> 01:01:11,801 No, no, no. Honey, i think i'm just gonna rent a car. 1465 01:01:11,834 --> 01:01:13,036 There's no telling what time i'd get in 1466 01:01:13,069 --> 01:01:14,904 Until this damn plane takes off. 1467 01:01:14,937 --> 01:01:17,173 Are you ok? You sound, i don't know-- 1468 01:01:17,206 --> 01:01:20,243 No, it's-- It's nothing. I'm just... 1469 01:01:20,276 --> 01:01:22,311 trying to keep up with the kids. 1470 01:01:22,345 --> 01:01:25,014 You told him. He took it badly. 1471 01:01:25,048 --> 01:01:26,282 [Sighs] 1472 01:01:27,483 --> 01:01:29,485 He's so angry. 1473 01:01:31,220 --> 01:01:34,724 He's very, very, very angry. 1474 01:01:36,325 --> 01:01:38,361 God, he hates the whole idea? 1475 01:01:38,394 --> 01:01:41,097 No, no. I-- I didn't-- I didn't tell him. 1476 01:01:44,267 --> 01:01:47,103 Richard, you had better tell him before i get there. 1477 01:01:47,136 --> 01:01:48,771 Please, honey, you promised. 1478 01:01:48,805 --> 01:01:51,074 I just don't want us to ambush him, ok? 1479 01:01:51,107 --> 01:01:52,775 Ok? 1480 01:01:52,809 --> 01:01:54,043 [Sighs] 1481 01:01:54,077 --> 01:01:55,411 I'll tell him when he gets back. 1482 01:01:55,445 --> 01:01:57,413 Ok, please. 1483 01:01:57,447 --> 01:01:59,215 And i love you. 1484 01:01:59,248 --> 01:02:01,084 [Kiss] 1485 01:02:01,117 --> 01:02:04,087 Jon: slowly, keaton! 1486 01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:05,254 David: yep. Whoa. 1487 01:02:05,288 --> 01:02:06,456 Manny: great. 1488 01:02:06,489 --> 01:02:08,024 David: whoa. 1489 01:02:11,394 --> 01:02:15,231 Hey. We need to talk. 1490 01:02:15,264 --> 01:02:16,299 Ok. 1491 01:02:16,332 --> 01:02:17,967 Let's talk. 1492 01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:19,402 Alone? Yeah. 1493 01:02:19,435 --> 01:02:20,937 Ok. 1494 01:02:25,541 --> 01:02:27,543 David: see ya later at the house! 1495 01:02:32,215 --> 01:02:35,384 I need to tell you something... 1496 01:02:35,418 --> 01:02:39,355 something i've never told anyone. 1497 01:02:39,388 --> 01:02:41,924 Go on. 1498 01:02:41,958 --> 01:02:44,861 I had this parakeet named gertie. 1499 01:02:44,894 --> 01:02:46,429 What color? 1500 01:02:46,462 --> 01:02:47,530 Blue. Why? 1501 01:02:47,563 --> 01:02:49,332 Just checking. 1502 01:02:49,365 --> 01:02:51,367 Did you really have a parakeet? 1503 01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:54,537 Keaton, i'm trying to trust you with something 1504 01:02:54,570 --> 01:02:56,072 That means a lot to me. 1505 01:02:56,105 --> 01:02:58,274 Do you wanna hear this or not? 1506 01:02:58,307 --> 01:02:59,942 I do. I do. I'm sorry. 1507 01:03:02,178 --> 01:03:04,580 Ok. Anyway, 1508 01:03:04,614 --> 01:03:07,350 I had this blue parakeet... 1509 01:03:07,383 --> 01:03:10,386 [laughs] named gertie, 1510 01:03:10,419 --> 01:03:15,958 And my dad told me that caged birds can't fly. 1511 01:03:15,992 --> 01:03:18,995 I mean, he said even if you leave the cage door open, 1512 01:03:19,028 --> 01:03:21,497 They won't fly away. 1513 01:03:21,531 --> 01:03:23,399 They'll just-- 1514 01:03:23,432 --> 01:03:26,235 Just stay there in the safety of their cage. 1515 01:03:28,237 --> 01:03:30,006 Do you understand? 1516 01:03:30,039 --> 01:03:32,241 Yeah. 1517 01:03:33,676 --> 01:03:36,579 I loved gertie. 1518 01:03:36,612 --> 01:03:38,881 But you loved your father more. 1519 01:03:38,915 --> 01:03:41,918 What's that supposed to mean? 1520 01:03:41,951 --> 01:03:43,920 You opened the door. 1521 01:03:43,953 --> 01:03:47,190 Oh, god, keaton, it was so awful. 1522 01:03:47,223 --> 01:03:48,391 And? 1523 01:03:48,424 --> 01:03:49,659 And what? 1524 01:03:49,692 --> 01:03:51,194 And you opened the door and-- 1525 01:03:51,227 --> 01:03:54,263 And she flew out the window and down the street 1526 01:03:54,297 --> 01:03:56,566 And right into the windshield of a bus. 1527 01:03:56,599 --> 01:03:58,634 I mean, it happened, like, 2 seconds-- 1528 01:03:58,668 --> 01:03:59,936 It was awful. 1529 01:03:59,969 --> 01:04:01,103 [Laughs] 1530 01:04:01,137 --> 01:04:03,172 [Scoffs] you laugh? 1531 01:04:03,206 --> 01:04:06,008 You know, my father laughed. 1532 01:04:06,042 --> 01:04:08,945 Oh, come on, lisa. What did you expect? 1533 01:04:08,978 --> 01:04:11,881 I wanted her to go free. 1534 01:04:14,217 --> 01:04:16,252 No, no, no. That's-- 1535 01:04:16,285 --> 01:04:17,320 That's what you wanted. 1536 01:04:17,353 --> 01:04:19,455 What'd you expect? 1537 01:04:22,158 --> 01:04:24,227 I expected her to stay in the cage 1538 01:04:24,260 --> 01:04:26,062 Like a good bird, 1539 01:04:26,095 --> 01:04:28,364 Like he told me she would. 1540 01:04:33,603 --> 01:04:36,472 I'll-- I'll just assume that whatever it was 1541 01:04:36,505 --> 01:04:38,307 That you wanted to tell me out here in private 1542 01:04:38,341 --> 01:04:41,978 Was in that story somewhere. 1543 01:04:42,011 --> 01:04:44,013 [Sighs] 1544 01:04:45,147 --> 01:04:48,050 Oh, fuck it. 1545 01:04:58,694 --> 01:05:00,496 Jane: thank you. 1546 01:05:00,529 --> 01:05:01,697 For what? 1547 01:05:01,731 --> 01:05:04,367 Ugh. I was so hungry. 1548 01:05:06,302 --> 01:05:07,336 My pleasure. 1549 01:05:07,370 --> 01:05:09,538 [Laughs] 1550 01:05:13,409 --> 01:05:15,745 I wanna thank you. 1551 01:05:15,778 --> 01:05:17,380 For what? 1552 01:05:19,448 --> 01:05:22,985 Well, for everything, really. 1553 01:05:32,728 --> 01:05:34,430 Whoa, wow. 1554 01:05:34,463 --> 01:05:38,000 Well, uh, this is-- This is weird. 1555 01:05:38,034 --> 01:05:39,235 Ahem. 1556 01:05:39,268 --> 01:05:41,037 That's not right. You're my-- 1557 01:05:41,070 --> 01:05:42,271 You're my best friend's little sister. 1558 01:05:42,305 --> 01:05:43,606 It's not-- That's-- 1559 01:05:43,639 --> 01:05:45,508 It's too weird. It's not right. 1560 01:05:49,245 --> 01:05:53,015 Mo-- Mo-- Mo-- Mo-- 1561 01:05:53,049 --> 01:05:54,450 Tel? 1562 01:05:54,483 --> 01:05:56,218 Motel? Mm-Hmm. 1563 01:05:56,252 --> 01:05:57,486 Motel. Sounds good. 1564 01:05:57,520 --> 01:05:59,388 Motel. 1565 01:06:04,593 --> 01:06:05,795 No vacancies. 1566 01:06:05,828 --> 01:06:08,164 You know, it's christmas eve. 1567 01:06:08,197 --> 01:06:10,066 No room at the inn. 1568 01:06:10,099 --> 01:06:13,369 Um...is there anyplace else around here? 1569 01:06:13,402 --> 01:06:15,371 I could check. 1570 01:06:15,404 --> 01:06:17,773 Great. 1571 01:06:17,807 --> 01:06:20,109 You know i've got every hotel and motel 1572 01:06:20,142 --> 01:06:22,578 In the whole country right here in this computer. 1573 01:06:22,611 --> 01:06:23,713 Right on. 1574 01:06:23,746 --> 01:06:25,581 Um, which way you headed? 1575 01:06:25,614 --> 01:06:27,350 East. 1576 01:06:27,383 --> 01:06:29,652 East. 1577 01:06:33,756 --> 01:06:35,257 [Computer beeps] 1578 01:06:35,291 --> 01:06:38,728 Nothing. Nothing between here and the coast. 1579 01:06:38,761 --> 01:06:40,062 Shit. 1580 01:06:50,106 --> 01:06:53,809 [Moaning] 1581 01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:56,112 Who's that? 1582 01:06:56,145 --> 01:06:57,413 [Doorbell rings] 1583 01:06:57,446 --> 01:07:00,082 And that will be...ian. 1584 01:07:00,116 --> 01:07:01,217 Oh. 1585 01:07:01,250 --> 01:07:02,418 Is-- Is ian with you? 1586 01:07:02,451 --> 01:07:03,753 It's that fuckin' guy! 1587 01:07:03,786 --> 01:07:05,521 Come on in. You must be freezing. 1588 01:07:05,554 --> 01:07:06,722 Yes, cold us. 1589 01:07:06,756 --> 01:07:08,124 Yes, hello. 1590 01:07:08,157 --> 01:07:09,425 We brought the mistletoe. 1591 01:07:09,458 --> 01:07:10,860 Who's next? 1592 01:07:10,893 --> 01:07:12,828 I can't take this anymore. I've had it. 1593 01:07:12,862 --> 01:07:14,864 Ok, the champagne is this way. 1594 01:07:14,897 --> 01:07:17,833 Oh, ho, ho, dear. Come on. 1595 01:07:25,207 --> 01:07:26,509 Would you like some champagne? 1596 01:07:26,542 --> 01:07:27,676 Oh, thank you. 1597 01:07:27,710 --> 01:07:29,211 Good. You're welcome. 1598 01:07:29,245 --> 01:07:30,646 Hans: i play piano just a little bit, 1599 01:07:30,679 --> 01:07:32,281 But i'm singularly inside my spirit guides, 1600 01:07:32,314 --> 01:07:34,216 Which are coming into my body right now. 1601 01:07:34,250 --> 01:07:35,584 They're saying there's a song. 1602 01:07:35,618 --> 01:07:36,752 Uh-Huh. 1603 01:07:36,786 --> 01:07:38,454 Let me check. 1604 01:07:38,487 --> 01:07:40,589 Yes, a song is here, and it's called carla. 1605 01:07:40,623 --> 01:07:43,759 [Playing piano] 1606 01:07:55,905 --> 01:07:57,873 Hans: ♪ a boy like me... 1607 01:07:57,907 --> 01:07:59,475 are you all right? 1608 01:07:59,508 --> 01:08:02,611 I'm beginning to think it's not the women. 1609 01:08:02,645 --> 01:08:05,281 That's impossible. Who if not them? 1610 01:08:05,314 --> 01:08:08,551 ™� my gun's for hire, my horse enjoys a ride ♪ 1611 01:08:11,220 --> 01:08:12,688 Me. 1612 01:08:12,721 --> 01:08:14,924 ™� seek my vote 1613 01:08:14,957 --> 01:08:19,495 ™� sleazy downtown girl 1614 01:08:19,528 --> 01:08:21,330 ™� this fraulein carla's ♪ 1615 01:08:21,363 --> 01:08:25,668 ™� got my head in a whirl, my heart in a whirl, too ♪ 1616 01:08:25,701 --> 01:08:27,870 ™� my universe in a whirl now ♪ 1617 01:08:27,903 --> 01:08:32,241 ™� i know i gotta hear her in everything... ♪ 1618 01:08:42,451 --> 01:08:43,786 [Stops playing] 1619 01:08:43,819 --> 01:08:45,721 Oh, thank you. That was wonderful. 1620 01:08:45,754 --> 01:08:47,223 Yes, but now the song's over, the libido's up, 1621 01:08:47,256 --> 01:08:49,258 So come on. May i steal you away? 1622 01:08:49,291 --> 01:08:50,559 Ok. 1623 01:08:50,593 --> 01:08:51,760 Grab the champagne. 1624 01:08:51,794 --> 01:08:53,395 Oh, thanks. 1625 01:09:06,308 --> 01:09:07,510 Thanks. 1626 01:09:11,547 --> 01:09:14,283 So...are you guys, you know-- 1627 01:09:16,819 --> 01:09:18,754 I don't know. I haven't asked him yet. 1628 01:09:18,787 --> 01:09:21,891 What do you mean you haven't asked him yet? 1629 01:09:21,924 --> 01:09:23,492 [Chuckles] 1630 01:09:25,427 --> 01:09:29,431 Ask him to hang the mistletoe with you. 1631 01:09:29,465 --> 01:09:31,800 Hmm? The rest is automatic. 1632 01:09:37,973 --> 01:09:39,608 Manny, you wanna go outside 1633 01:09:39,642 --> 01:09:41,277 And help me hang the mistletoe? 1634 01:09:41,310 --> 01:09:42,878 Seein' as you're tall and everything. 1635 01:09:42,912 --> 01:09:44,647 Sure. 1636 01:09:45,748 --> 01:09:47,483 Where are you going? 1637 01:09:47,516 --> 01:09:48,784 I am going upstairs 1638 01:09:48,817 --> 01:09:50,553 To tell that evil two-Timing vixen 1639 01:09:50,586 --> 01:09:53,923 And her ski instructor hans boyfriend 1640 01:09:53,956 --> 01:09:56,358 That i got firsts. 1641 01:10:09,638 --> 01:10:11,540 Be careful, dude. 1642 01:10:17,046 --> 01:10:19,381 I got it. 1643 01:10:21,483 --> 01:10:23,586 Yeah, that's cool. 1644 01:10:23,619 --> 01:10:24,787 There. 1645 01:10:24,820 --> 01:10:26,922 Yep, there it is. 1646 01:10:29,758 --> 01:10:31,794 Are you a single gay man? 1647 01:10:31,827 --> 01:10:34,430 No, i'm not. 1648 01:10:35,831 --> 01:10:37,266 I'm sorry. 1649 01:10:39,702 --> 01:10:41,303 Sorry? 1650 01:10:41,337 --> 01:10:43,072 What, that's it? 1651 01:10:43,105 --> 01:10:44,540 I'm supposed to just split now? 1652 01:10:44,573 --> 01:10:49,645 No, i just kinda figured you'd want to. 1653 01:10:49,678 --> 01:10:51,747 Well, you figured wrong. 1654 01:10:51,780 --> 01:10:53,382 Ok. 1655 01:10:53,415 --> 01:10:55,351 Let's go play some chess. Come on. 1656 01:10:56,785 --> 01:10:58,587 You know, to tell you the truth, 1657 01:10:58,621 --> 01:11:00,456 I don't know what i would've done if you had said yes. 1658 01:11:00,489 --> 01:11:02,891 [Laughs] yeah, well, neither do i. 1659 01:11:02,925 --> 01:11:05,561 So i was-- I caught an edge, and i fell down, 1660 01:11:05,594 --> 01:11:07,896 And this guy helped me, so i thought-- 1661 01:11:07,930 --> 01:11:09,898 David: we're friends. 1662 01:11:09,932 --> 01:11:11,400 Is everybody all right with that? 1663 01:11:11,433 --> 01:11:12,735 Great! Great! 1664 01:11:12,768 --> 01:11:15,371 So i got up, and he gave me back my poles. 1665 01:11:17,072 --> 01:11:19,408 I'm cold. 1666 01:11:19,441 --> 01:11:20,909 He kicked me. 1667 01:11:20,943 --> 01:11:22,111 [Laughs] she. 1668 01:11:22,144 --> 01:11:23,712 She. 1669 01:11:27,449 --> 01:11:31,020 I remember when i first fell in love with you. 1670 01:11:32,955 --> 01:11:35,724 I had no idea what to say. 1671 01:11:35,758 --> 01:11:39,762 I spent 2 hours trying to come up with an opening line 1672 01:11:39,795 --> 01:11:43,599 With one of my busboys tito morales. 1673 01:11:43,632 --> 01:11:44,833 Next thing i knew, 1674 01:11:44,867 --> 01:11:46,502 He was using my line on you, 1675 01:11:46,535 --> 01:11:48,037 And i spent the summer bussing his tables. 1676 01:11:48,070 --> 01:11:49,972 Does that sound familiar? 1677 01:11:50,005 --> 01:11:51,807 Yeah. He was cute. 1678 01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:54,476 [Laughs] 1679 01:11:59,748 --> 01:12:00,983 Ow. 1680 01:12:01,016 --> 01:12:02,418 Sorry. Sorry. 1681 01:12:02,451 --> 01:12:03,752 I'm sorry. Ah, look at me. 1682 01:12:03,786 --> 01:12:05,421 I can't do it in a car, 1683 01:12:05,454 --> 01:12:07,089 And i don't want to. 1684 01:12:07,122 --> 01:12:09,858 This is our first time. I want it to be special. 1685 01:12:09,892 --> 01:12:11,560 It should be special. Yeah. 1686 01:12:11,593 --> 01:12:12,961 I'll make it special. It'll be special. 1687 01:12:12,995 --> 01:12:15,597 Oh, ian-- Ian, i'm serious. 1688 01:12:15,631 --> 01:12:16,765 What? 1689 01:12:16,799 --> 01:12:17,766 Come on. 1690 01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:20,969 Let's go back. 1691 01:12:21,003 --> 01:12:23,572 Back there? You gotta be crazy. No way. 1692 01:12:23,605 --> 01:12:24,740 Come on, ian. 1693 01:12:24,773 --> 01:12:27,876 It's 375 hours to your house, 1694 01:12:27,910 --> 01:12:30,179 And your dad's place is just around the corner. 1695 01:12:30,212 --> 01:12:31,814 No. 1696 01:12:31,847 --> 01:12:33,849 It's final. 1697 01:12:33,882 --> 01:12:35,517 Oh, come on. 1698 01:12:36,618 --> 01:12:38,520 [Sighs] 1699 01:12:42,825 --> 01:12:44,493 Kiss? 1700 01:12:46,762 --> 01:12:48,664 Candy store's closed. 1701 01:12:50,632 --> 01:12:52,634 [Sighs] 1702 01:12:56,038 --> 01:12:57,973 Shit. 1703 01:13:08,083 --> 01:13:12,488 [Sharp exhale] 1704 01:13:26,068 --> 01:13:27,903 Oh, come on. 1705 01:13:29,071 --> 01:13:31,540 Jon, this is not a good thing. 1706 01:13:31,573 --> 01:13:33,008 Shh. 1707 01:13:33,041 --> 01:13:35,878 [Whispering] or i can't hear anything. 1708 01:13:42,017 --> 01:13:46,054 Jon, there's a whole big, bright, beautiful world out there 1709 01:13:46,088 --> 01:13:49,491 Beyond the 5 inches of your penis. 1710 01:13:49,525 --> 01:13:51,026 [Whispering] fuck you. 1711 01:13:51,059 --> 01:13:52,528 [Whispering] fuck you. Fuck you. 1712 01:13:52,561 --> 01:13:53,695 Pssst! 1713 01:13:54,830 --> 01:13:56,532 Fuck me. 1714 01:13:56,565 --> 01:13:59,001 [Whispering] keaton! Keaton! 1715 01:14:06,608 --> 01:14:10,078 Keaton, lisa, open this door! 1716 01:14:11,580 --> 01:14:14,783 Jon: open this door, damn it! 1717 01:14:19,955 --> 01:14:24,126 Come on, guys, open up! We need to talk about this! 1718 01:14:24,159 --> 01:14:26,295 Jon, this is not a good time! 1719 01:14:26,328 --> 01:14:27,896 Oh! 1720 01:14:27,930 --> 01:14:29,965 [Giggles] 1721 01:14:29,998 --> 01:14:31,834 Jon: keaton, lisa, open this door. 1722 01:14:31,867 --> 01:14:32,968 [Knocks at door] 1723 01:14:33,001 --> 01:14:34,770 Jon, piss off! 1724 01:14:34,803 --> 01:14:36,905 You're making a terrible mistake! 1725 01:14:36,939 --> 01:14:39,708 Oh, god, keaton, squeeze 'em harder. 1726 01:14:39,741 --> 01:14:41,243 [Screams] 1727 01:14:41,276 --> 01:14:42,578 [Laughs] yeah. 1728 01:14:42,611 --> 01:14:44,146 Yeah, ow! 1729 01:14:44,179 --> 01:14:45,848 [Grunts] 1730 01:14:50,619 --> 01:14:52,688 [Sighs] 1731 01:15:17,079 --> 01:15:19,982 [Deep breathing] 1732 01:15:26,788 --> 01:15:29,691 Can i join you guys? 1733 01:15:29,725 --> 01:15:31,860 Hans is teaching me how to meditate. 1734 01:15:31,894 --> 01:15:33,195 That's correct, jon. 1735 01:15:33,228 --> 01:15:35,898 I believe the word is "penetrate," carla. 1736 01:15:35,931 --> 01:15:37,165 Oh. 1737 01:15:37,199 --> 01:15:40,235 No, jon, and in order for the pene-- 1738 01:15:40,269 --> 01:15:41,803 Meditation to work, 1739 01:15:41,837 --> 01:15:44,773 I must-- If you leave, perhaps we find god. 1740 01:15:46,875 --> 01:15:49,778 Come on, carla, you're not really going for this crap. 1741 01:15:49,811 --> 01:15:52,681 This is the stupidest come-On i have ever seen, 1742 01:15:52,714 --> 01:15:54,049 And i am the king of stupid. 1743 01:15:54,082 --> 01:15:55,317 Yeah, you can say that again. 1744 01:15:55,350 --> 01:15:56,685 Yes, you can, jon, 1745 01:15:56,718 --> 01:16:00,088 Because you are interrupting! 1746 01:16:00,122 --> 01:16:03,091 Forget about him. You just relax. 1747 01:16:03,125 --> 01:16:06,094 Keep the eyes closed. The white light is atop. 1748 01:16:06,128 --> 01:16:08,864 Visualize the light come down the top of the head. 1749 01:16:08,897 --> 01:16:12,768 I will deal with the problem called jon! 1750 01:16:12,801 --> 01:16:14,736 [Deep exhales] 1751 01:16:16,104 --> 01:16:18,840 I can't find the white light. 1752 01:16:18,874 --> 01:16:20,642 It's too dark in here. 1753 01:16:20,676 --> 01:16:21,977 Jon, jon, if you please. 1754 01:16:22,010 --> 01:16:24,313 Everything i do with carla is on your behalf. 1755 01:16:24,346 --> 01:16:26,281 I cleanse the chakras, i start with the heart, 1756 01:16:26,315 --> 01:16:28,383 I go to the plexus, i deal with the spleen, 1757 01:16:28,417 --> 01:16:30,052 I arrive at the root, 1758 01:16:30,085 --> 01:16:32,654 And then she is all yours. 1759 01:16:37,159 --> 01:16:38,694 [Sighs] 1760 01:16:38,727 --> 01:16:41,330 This guy is offering me sloppy seconds. 1761 01:16:41,363 --> 01:16:44,199 Can't believe that he's offering me sloppy seconds. 1762 01:16:46,001 --> 01:16:48,236 Ah, i could live with that. 1763 01:16:55,377 --> 01:16:57,012 Gentlemen... 1764 01:16:57,045 --> 01:16:59,214 we're outta here. 1765 01:16:59,247 --> 01:17:01,116 Where we goin'? 1766 01:17:01,149 --> 01:17:04,152 There's a whole big, bright, beautiful world out there 1767 01:17:04,186 --> 01:17:06,755 Beyond the 7 inches of my penis, 1768 01:17:06,788 --> 01:17:08,957 And i intend to explore it. 1769 01:17:08,991 --> 01:17:10,292 David: really? 1770 01:17:10,325 --> 01:17:11,960 Really. 1771 01:17:15,931 --> 01:17:18,266 [Car stereo blaring] 1772 01:17:24,306 --> 01:17:26,875 Jon, please, just stop. 1773 01:17:26,908 --> 01:17:29,244 No, just one more try. 1774 01:17:29,277 --> 01:17:31,747 Uh, excuse me, miss? Yes? 1775 01:17:31,780 --> 01:17:33,181 Hi. Hi. 1776 01:17:33,215 --> 01:17:35,250 You ever thought about doing some modeling? 1777 01:17:35,283 --> 01:17:37,252 [Laughs] you're kidding, right? 1778 01:17:37,285 --> 01:17:39,021 No, no, no. I'm very serious. 1779 01:17:39,054 --> 01:17:40,155 I'm a photographer, and i thought perhaps 1780 01:17:40,188 --> 01:17:41,390 We could get together and... 1781 01:17:41,423 --> 01:17:43,058 shoot some photos. 1782 01:17:43,091 --> 01:17:46,161 Mm. Well, my rate is $2,000 a day. 1783 01:17:46,194 --> 01:17:48,030 [Laughs] 1784 01:17:48,063 --> 01:17:49,498 You can reach me at chic. 1785 01:17:49,531 --> 01:17:51,266 [Whispering] ask for sasha. 1786 01:17:53,468 --> 01:17:55,270 Sasha: hey, baby. 1787 01:17:56,972 --> 01:17:59,441 Oh, well, i tried. 1788 01:17:59,474 --> 01:18:01,109 Now what? 1789 01:18:01,143 --> 01:18:02,944 Try again. 1790 01:18:02,978 --> 01:18:04,746 Just not tonight. 1791 01:18:04,780 --> 01:18:06,481 Let's go. 1792 01:18:08,216 --> 01:18:10,118 Ahh, so unfortunate. 1793 01:18:10,152 --> 01:18:13,088 My dear, what does these people do to you all your life? 1794 01:18:13,121 --> 01:18:16,825 Oh, sweetheart, i want it out of you at this point. 1795 01:18:16,858 --> 01:18:20,829 Out of here, oh, so bad. 1796 01:18:20,862 --> 01:18:22,397 I don't know what to do. 1797 01:18:22,431 --> 01:18:25,133 Oh, it's terrible. We must clean you. 1798 01:18:25,167 --> 01:18:27,135 I must clean you, carla. 1799 01:18:27,169 --> 01:18:30,138 I'm going to clean you, carla. 1800 01:18:30,172 --> 01:18:35,444 Ok, see, all the articles of clothing are restricting the flow of the energy. 1801 01:18:35,477 --> 01:18:37,212 I must--Yes, in fact, yeah, 1802 01:18:37,245 --> 01:18:40,782 There is another article also. Watch this. 1803 01:18:40,816 --> 01:18:42,517 [Exhales] 1804 01:18:42,551 --> 01:18:44,319 You must believe. 1805 01:18:44,352 --> 01:18:47,022 Yes, intuitively, you know this is very good. 1806 01:18:47,055 --> 01:18:48,990 Oh, yes, we are working together now. 1807 01:18:49,024 --> 01:18:50,258 This is a group effort, ja? 1808 01:18:50,292 --> 01:18:51,460 Oh, my god. 1809 01:18:51,493 --> 01:18:52,861 I believe you. 1810 01:18:52,894 --> 01:18:54,896 Yes, this is nothing not to believe. 1811 01:18:54,930 --> 01:18:58,366 Let me check. All right, now i am free. 1812 01:18:58,400 --> 01:18:59,835 Yes, it's obvious yeah? 1813 01:18:59,868 --> 01:19:02,437 All of my spirit guides have told me 1814 01:19:02,471 --> 01:19:04,873 That i am now free to work. 1815 01:19:04,906 --> 01:19:06,408 Let me check. 1816 01:19:09,277 --> 01:19:11,213 Yeah, i need to take a second. 1817 01:19:14,449 --> 01:19:15,851 All right, i have to admit 1818 01:19:15,884 --> 01:19:18,420 This place is pretty beautiful. 1819 01:19:18,453 --> 01:19:21,790 Yeah, it sure is. 1820 01:19:23,091 --> 01:19:25,327 I ever tell ya you have beautiful eyes? 1821 01:19:25,360 --> 01:19:27,295 Well, you can tell me again. 1822 01:19:27,329 --> 01:19:28,530 All right, you have beautiful eyes. 1823 01:19:28,563 --> 01:19:29,931 Thank you. 1824 01:19:29,965 --> 01:19:32,000 And a beautiful nose 1825 01:19:32,033 --> 01:19:34,336 And lips... 1826 01:19:34,369 --> 01:19:37,005 and teeth... 1827 01:19:37,038 --> 01:19:38,807 and jaw... 1828 01:19:40,575 --> 01:19:42,477 and ears. 1829 01:19:59,928 --> 01:20:01,496 Oh. Ow! Not here. 1830 01:20:04,132 --> 01:20:05,267 Hello? 1831 01:20:05,300 --> 01:20:06,868 Hello? Hello? 1832 01:20:06,902 --> 01:20:08,470 Hello? 1833 01:20:08,503 --> 01:20:10,405 Oh. 1834 01:20:23,218 --> 01:20:24,886 David: look. Ian's here. 1835 01:20:24,920 --> 01:20:27,322 Oh, great. 1836 01:20:27,355 --> 01:20:29,558 Great. 1837 01:20:45,507 --> 01:20:48,410 Oh, my god! Jane! Ian! 1838 01:20:48,443 --> 01:20:52,147 Hi. Hi. 1839 01:20:53,648 --> 01:20:55,250 How you doing, buddy?. Night, guys. 1840 01:21:00,288 --> 01:21:03,291 Why is this happening? 1841 01:21:03,325 --> 01:21:04,693 What the hell is going on around here?! 1842 01:21:04,726 --> 01:21:07,028 She's pregnant, for god's sakes! 1843 01:21:07,062 --> 01:21:09,664 Jon: ian! 1844 01:21:09,698 --> 01:21:11,533 Ian! 1845 01:21:14,269 --> 01:21:15,470 Jon: ian, open the door now. 1846 01:21:15,503 --> 01:21:17,105 Daddy. 1847 01:21:17,138 --> 01:21:19,140 Keaton's gonna kick your ass for this! 1848 01:21:19,174 --> 01:21:20,475 Good night, jon! 1849 01:21:20,508 --> 01:21:22,344 Oh, come on, ian. 1850 01:21:22,377 --> 01:21:25,380 You guys are in business together! 1851 01:21:25,413 --> 01:21:27,682 [Giggling] 1852 01:21:27,716 --> 01:21:29,050 Night, jonny. 1853 01:21:29,084 --> 01:21:30,652 [Thud] 1854 01:21:30,685 --> 01:21:32,254 Whoo-Hoo-Hoo! 1855 01:21:32,287 --> 01:21:34,122 Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. 1856 01:21:34,155 --> 01:21:35,257 God, right now. Right now. 1857 01:21:35,290 --> 01:21:36,625 Ian? Yes, darling? 1858 01:21:36,658 --> 01:21:38,159 [Growls] 1859 01:21:41,663 --> 01:21:43,131 Keaton! 1860 01:21:44,532 --> 01:21:46,134 Keaton, it's jon. 1861 01:21:46,167 --> 01:21:47,369 You might want to come out here, buddy. 1862 01:21:47,402 --> 01:21:48,503 We got a lot going on. 1863 01:21:52,707 --> 01:21:55,010 Jon: uh, keaton? [Knocking] 1864 01:21:55,043 --> 01:21:56,378 Got a little insider trading working 1865 01:21:56,411 --> 01:21:58,280 Over in the other bedroom, buddy. 1866 01:21:58,313 --> 01:22:01,216 A little pork belly activity, if you know what i mean. 1867 01:22:01,249 --> 01:22:03,985 Think porking and a big belly! 1868 01:22:04,019 --> 01:22:06,621 Yes! Aah! 1869 01:22:08,790 --> 01:22:11,326 Yes! 1870 01:22:11,359 --> 01:22:14,696 Ian's fucking your sister, for god's sakes! 1871 01:22:14,729 --> 01:22:18,133 That was the best orgasm i've ever had. 1872 01:22:21,169 --> 01:22:23,371 Carla? 1873 01:22:23,405 --> 01:22:25,573 Hans: i've sometimes been known... 1874 01:22:27,709 --> 01:22:29,644 jon: carla? [Knocking] 1875 01:22:29,678 --> 01:22:31,379 It's jon. To suck the white light 1876 01:22:31,413 --> 01:22:34,582 Right into a person's body. 1877 01:22:34,616 --> 01:22:37,152 Ok. 1878 01:22:37,185 --> 01:22:38,520 Carla! 1879 01:22:39,621 --> 01:22:42,357 Mmm. 1880 01:22:42,390 --> 01:22:43,591 I see the light. 1881 01:22:43,625 --> 01:22:45,360 You do? Uh-Huh. 1882 01:22:48,496 --> 01:22:50,031 It's purple. 1883 01:22:50,065 --> 01:22:51,666 Well, it soon will be. 1884 01:22:51,700 --> 01:22:53,101 One chakra at a time. 1885 01:22:53,134 --> 01:22:54,736 Ok. 1886 01:22:54,769 --> 01:22:56,104 Ah. 1887 01:22:56,137 --> 01:22:57,205 Ok. 1888 01:22:57,238 --> 01:22:58,273 [Growls] 1889 01:22:58,306 --> 01:23:00,575 Ok. Oh! 1890 01:23:00,608 --> 01:23:02,043 Yellow... 1891 01:23:02,077 --> 01:23:03,144 yes. 1892 01:23:03,178 --> 01:23:04,813 [Growls] red... 1893 01:23:04,846 --> 01:23:07,582 [growls] oh, white light! 1894 01:23:07,615 --> 01:23:09,751 Hans, we had a deal! 1895 01:23:12,487 --> 01:23:14,589 All right! That's it! 1896 01:23:14,622 --> 01:23:16,257 It's my turn! 1897 01:23:16,291 --> 01:23:19,327 Hans: goombah, hey! 1898 01:23:19,361 --> 01:23:21,062 [New jersey accent] i have been workin' this hole for days. 1899 01:23:21,096 --> 01:23:23,398 You blow this for me, i will bust a cap in your ass, 1900 01:23:23,431 --> 01:23:24,699 And i will go have a quiet lunch. 1901 01:23:24,733 --> 01:23:26,368 Capisce? 1902 01:23:26,401 --> 01:23:27,635 Capisce. 1903 01:23:27,669 --> 01:23:30,271 Where are you from? 1904 01:23:30,305 --> 01:23:32,440 Jersey, baby. 1905 01:23:34,175 --> 01:23:36,578 [German accent] carla, i'm soon to be coming. 1906 01:23:41,182 --> 01:23:46,788 ™� and then i'll tell you what you surely know ♪ 1907 01:23:46,821 --> 01:23:49,591 ™� i love you, i love you ♪ 1908 01:23:49,624 --> 01:23:52,861 ™� i love you, i love you ♪ 1909 01:23:52,894 --> 01:23:55,230 ™� i love you 1910 01:23:55,263 --> 01:23:58,299 ™� i love you, i love you ♪ 1911 01:23:58,333 --> 01:24:00,835 ™� i love you 1912 01:24:00,869 --> 01:24:03,772 ™� so. 1913 01:24:11,579 --> 01:24:13,548 How do you like the cigar? 1914 01:24:14,916 --> 01:24:17,852 I like it almost as much as that song. 1915 01:24:21,790 --> 01:24:23,725 Jon... 1916 01:24:23,758 --> 01:24:25,760 let me ask you something, richie. 1917 01:24:28,329 --> 01:24:31,266 What do you do when you've tried and tried and... 1918 01:24:31,299 --> 01:24:34,736 tried again? 1919 01:24:38,573 --> 01:24:40,475 You let go. 1920 01:24:47,715 --> 01:24:51,419 [Begins playing] 1921 01:24:53,521 --> 01:24:54,689 [Smack] 1922 01:24:54,722 --> 01:24:56,324 Okay. Oh, yes. 1923 01:24:56,357 --> 01:24:57,692 Come on. That's right. I'm a bad boy. 1924 01:24:57,725 --> 01:24:59,160 Now smack the bad boy. 1925 01:24:59,194 --> 01:25:00,795 Smack the bad boy. 1926 01:25:03,598 --> 01:25:06,634 [Moaning] 1927 01:25:10,605 --> 01:25:13,241 Oh! Oh! 1928 01:25:13,274 --> 01:25:14,609 Oh! 1929 01:25:14,642 --> 01:25:16,511 Marry me, yes? 1930 01:25:16,544 --> 01:25:17,812 Consider? 1931 01:25:17,846 --> 01:25:19,180 Oh, hans. Oh, darling. 1932 01:25:19,214 --> 01:25:20,615 Ok. Carla. 1933 01:25:20,648 --> 01:25:23,418 Ok. Ok. 1934 01:25:23,451 --> 01:25:24,719 We work as a couple. 1935 01:25:24,752 --> 01:25:27,255 We're working. This is working. 1936 01:25:31,459 --> 01:25:32,694 Smack my ass, even though i'm done. 1937 01:25:32,727 --> 01:25:33,895 Okay. 1938 01:25:33,928 --> 01:25:36,331 Oh, schei��e. Oh, yes! 1939 01:25:41,870 --> 01:25:45,640 So, um, when'd you figure out you were gay? 1940 01:25:48,676 --> 01:25:51,446 Probably the same time you figured out you were straight. 1941 01:25:52,547 --> 01:25:53,681 Thank you. 1942 01:25:55,817 --> 01:25:58,219 So, like, um, what do you do? 1943 01:25:58,253 --> 01:26:01,422 I told you. I art-Direct computer games. 1944 01:26:01,456 --> 01:26:03,258 No, i mean, like with guys. 1945 01:26:06,594 --> 01:26:07,795 You mean in bed? 1946 01:26:07,829 --> 01:26:10,465 In or out of bed. 1947 01:26:13,501 --> 01:26:15,470 Well, uh... 1948 01:26:15,503 --> 01:26:17,972 out of bed, i do pretty much what we're doing now. 1949 01:26:20,708 --> 01:26:22,710 And in bed? 1950 01:26:25,914 --> 01:26:27,649 Whatever comes to mind. 1951 01:26:31,019 --> 01:26:32,587 No, no, no. I think it's good. 1952 01:26:32,620 --> 01:26:34,289 I think it's good, jon. 1953 01:26:34,322 --> 01:26:36,357 I think you have a real flair for languages. 1954 01:26:36,391 --> 01:26:37,525 Just let me hear it again. 1955 01:26:37,559 --> 01:26:38,860 [Guttural sounds] 1956 01:26:38,893 --> 01:26:40,762 It's-- That's not quite it. 1957 01:26:40,795 --> 01:26:42,630 Ich liebe dich. 1958 01:26:42,664 --> 01:26:43,765 It's very soft. 1959 01:26:43,798 --> 01:26:45,300 You're saying, "i love you." 1960 01:26:45,333 --> 01:26:46,301 Say it beautifully. 1961 01:26:46,334 --> 01:26:47,635 Ich liebe dich. 1962 01:26:47,669 --> 01:26:48,636 Richard: that's closer. 1963 01:26:48,670 --> 01:26:51,506 Jon: ich liebe dich. 1964 01:26:51,539 --> 01:26:52,941 Richard: that's not too good. 1965 01:26:52,974 --> 01:26:54,609 It's not so guttural. Ich liebe dich. 1966 01:26:54,642 --> 01:26:55,877 It's very soft. 1967 01:26:55,910 --> 01:26:58,012 Ich liebe... 1968 01:26:58,046 --> 01:27:01,382 ok, that's a german with a cleft palate, but that's ok. 1969 01:27:01,416 --> 01:27:05,553 No, you'll be fine. No, no. Relax. I'm kidding. 1970 01:27:07,088 --> 01:27:09,023 Ich liebe dich. 1971 01:27:09,057 --> 01:27:11,326 You think it'll work? 1972 01:27:11,359 --> 01:27:14,395 If anything will work, this-- 1973 01:27:18,833 --> 01:27:20,835 You coming back? 1974 01:27:20,868 --> 01:27:23,371 We're going. 1975 01:27:23,404 --> 01:27:26,441 Ich liebe dich. 1976 01:27:26,474 --> 01:27:28,343 Oh! 1977 01:27:28,376 --> 01:27:31,813 Oh, thank you for a wonderful time. 1978 01:27:31,846 --> 01:27:32,981 No, thank you. 1979 01:27:33,014 --> 01:27:34,549 What's going on? 1980 01:27:34,582 --> 01:27:35,717 We're going to get married. 1981 01:27:35,750 --> 01:27:37,919 Yes, is it not wonderful? 1982 01:27:37,952 --> 01:27:39,954 Richard: all the luck in the world. 1983 01:27:39,988 --> 01:27:42,690 Very well. Jon, auf wiedersehen. 1984 01:27:42,724 --> 01:27:44,859 Good night. Gute nacht. 1985 01:27:44,892 --> 01:27:46,928 Thanks. 1986 01:27:49,697 --> 01:27:51,065 Check. 1987 01:27:54,035 --> 01:27:57,005 Merry fucking christmas. 1988 01:27:58,506 --> 01:27:59,874 Merry christmas to you, jon. 1989 01:28:08,850 --> 01:28:11,786 And mate. 1990 01:28:11,819 --> 01:28:13,554 Good game. 1991 01:28:13,588 --> 01:28:15,757 But next time, your ass is mine. 1992 01:28:15,790 --> 01:28:19,761 Whatever you say. 1993 01:28:19,794 --> 01:28:22,096 Fuck you, man. I'm not down with that. 1994 01:28:22,130 --> 01:28:23,998 Take me home. 1995 01:28:34,108 --> 01:28:35,910 Why do you have to be a homo, huh? 1996 01:28:35,943 --> 01:28:37,679 I can't help it! 1997 01:28:52,060 --> 01:28:53,928 So tell me: 1998 01:28:53,961 --> 01:28:55,997 I mean, what's it even like to kiss a guy? 1999 01:28:57,598 --> 01:28:59,834 It's been so long, i don't remember. 2000 01:28:59,867 --> 01:29:02,904 What's it like to kiss a girl? 2001 01:29:02,937 --> 01:29:05,940 You don't even know what it's like to kiss a girl? 2002 01:29:05,973 --> 01:29:08,076 Well, i mean... 2003 01:29:10,578 --> 01:29:12,380 i... 2004 01:29:14,115 --> 01:29:16,017 kissing a girl is a lot softer. 2005 01:29:17,885 --> 01:29:20,655 Yeah, definitely softer. 2006 01:29:20,688 --> 01:29:22,757 Wow. 2007 01:29:23,991 --> 01:29:25,760 You know, what you said yesterday, 2008 01:29:25,793 --> 01:29:27,428 You really ought to say to ian. 2009 01:29:29,464 --> 01:29:31,432 I'm planning to. 2010 01:29:31,466 --> 01:29:33,468 It worked on me. 2011 01:29:33,501 --> 01:29:34,769 Yeah. 2012 01:29:35,937 --> 01:29:38,206 [Door opens] what is that? 2013 01:29:38,239 --> 01:29:39,674 [Closes] 2014 01:29:44,779 --> 01:29:45,980 Cold outside. 2015 01:29:46,013 --> 01:29:47,582 Very cold. 2016 01:29:47,615 --> 01:29:48,883 Definitely. Can i get you something? 2017 01:29:48,916 --> 01:29:50,118 Would you like some coffee? 2018 01:29:50,151 --> 01:29:53,187 Uh, no, i'm gonna turn in. Night. 2019 01:29:57,125 --> 01:29:59,160 'Fraid that puts you on the couch. 2020 01:30:06,667 --> 01:30:09,570 [Sobbing outside] 2021 01:30:16,844 --> 01:30:18,513 Come on, honey. 2022 01:30:21,082 --> 01:30:24,118 [Sobbing continues] 2023 01:30:27,255 --> 01:30:29,590 Jane? 2024 01:30:31,726 --> 01:30:33,694 Are you-- Are you ok? 2025 01:30:35,530 --> 01:30:36,898 I-- 2026 01:30:36,931 --> 01:30:39,200 I-- I-- 2027 01:30:39,233 --> 01:30:42,970 There's-- It's just i-- 2028 01:30:43,004 --> 01:30:44,272 Awful? 2029 01:30:44,305 --> 01:30:46,073 No. 2030 01:30:46,107 --> 01:30:47,542 No, i-- 2031 01:30:47,575 --> 01:30:49,811 I-- I-- I feel-- 2032 01:30:49,844 --> 01:30:50,912 No, it's just-- 2033 01:30:50,945 --> 01:30:52,213 Lonely? No. 2034 01:30:52,246 --> 01:30:54,115 No. No? 2035 01:30:54,148 --> 01:30:57,652 No, i-- I feel like-- 2036 01:30:57,685 --> 01:31:01,689 Like i-- I just feel-- I feel like-- 2037 01:31:01,722 --> 01:31:06,661 I-- I feel... 2038 01:31:06,694 --> 01:31:10,231 so unbelievably wonderful. 2039 01:31:10,264 --> 01:31:11,799 What? 2040 01:31:11,833 --> 01:31:14,936 I just-- I feel like-- 2041 01:31:14,969 --> 01:31:16,237 Like finally-- 2042 01:31:16,270 --> 01:31:17,638 The baby? 2043 01:31:17,672 --> 01:31:19,640 Yeah. Uh-Huh. 2044 01:31:19,674 --> 01:31:21,909 Ian? 2045 01:31:21,943 --> 01:31:24,011 Uh-Huh. 2046 01:31:24,045 --> 01:31:25,646 Yeah. 2047 01:31:27,114 --> 01:31:28,950 And, uh... 2048 01:31:30,618 --> 01:31:32,019 and you. 2049 01:31:32,053 --> 01:31:33,788 Me? Yeah. 2050 01:32:13,828 --> 01:32:16,163 So unbelievably sexy. 2051 01:32:20,668 --> 01:32:21,903 Breakfast! 2052 01:32:21,936 --> 01:32:24,138 Oh, my god! 2053 01:32:24,171 --> 01:32:25,773 What? What? What? 2054 01:32:25,806 --> 01:32:27,909 He's cooking again. 2055 01:32:27,942 --> 01:32:29,877 Oh, jesus. Oh, man. 2056 01:32:33,114 --> 01:32:34,282 Whoop! Oh! 2057 01:32:48,996 --> 01:32:52,199 Carla. Heh. 2058 01:33:04,412 --> 01:33:06,747 Oh, whoa! Dad, you know what? 2059 01:33:06,781 --> 01:33:09,183 You kinda-- You gotta pay a little more attention to the, uh-- 2060 01:33:09,216 --> 01:33:11,152 To the, uh-- The coffee here. 2061 01:33:11,185 --> 01:33:12,887 Actually, with this kind of machine, 2062 01:33:12,920 --> 01:33:15,723 It works pretty well with a filter. 2063 01:33:15,756 --> 01:33:17,358 So, uh... 2064 01:33:18,793 --> 01:33:19,927 there we go. 2065 01:33:21,262 --> 01:33:23,164 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 2066 01:33:23,197 --> 01:33:25,232 Hot! 2067 01:33:25,266 --> 01:33:27,268 Whew! Hot. Hot. 2068 01:33:28,402 --> 01:33:29,403 Uh... 2069 01:33:33,441 --> 01:33:35,109 actually, you might want to start over, dad. 2070 01:33:35,142 --> 01:33:37,812 Those look a little too far gone. 2071 01:33:37,845 --> 01:33:39,146 Right. 2072 01:33:39,180 --> 01:33:40,815 Right. 2073 01:33:48,823 --> 01:33:51,125 [Coughs] 2074 01:33:52,927 --> 01:33:55,129 So, i'm not doing too bad, am i? 2075 01:33:56,430 --> 01:33:58,265 Not too bad. 2076 01:34:03,971 --> 01:34:05,373 I've been trying to tell you something 2077 01:34:05,406 --> 01:34:08,242 Since you got here, if you haven't noticed... 2078 01:34:10,344 --> 01:34:13,247 unsuccessfully for various reasons. 2079 01:34:13,280 --> 01:34:15,383 Jon is a very interesting person. 2080 01:34:15,416 --> 01:34:18,252 Yes, he is. 2081 01:34:18,285 --> 01:34:20,087 And if you don't want to listen to me, 2082 01:34:20,121 --> 01:34:22,990 Believe me, i understand. 2083 01:34:29,530 --> 01:34:31,699 Well, you were right. 2084 01:34:33,000 --> 01:34:34,268 I missed your childhood. 2085 01:34:35,803 --> 01:34:37,138 I missed you growing up. 2086 01:34:37,171 --> 01:34:41,909 I-- I just-- I didn't pay attention. 2087 01:34:41,942 --> 01:34:44,145 But, see, now i... 2088 01:34:44,178 --> 01:34:46,747 i wake up in the morning, 2089 01:34:46,781 --> 01:34:48,416 And your mother isn't there. 2090 01:34:48,449 --> 01:34:51,819 And then i go to the office, 2091 01:34:51,852 --> 01:34:53,821 And i look at this business 2092 01:34:53,854 --> 01:34:56,290 That i have spent so much of my life 2093 01:34:56,323 --> 01:34:59,160 And so much commitment and sweat and time 2094 01:34:59,193 --> 01:35:01,295 Just trying to build it up, 2095 01:35:01,328 --> 01:35:03,230 And i look at it. 2096 01:35:03,264 --> 01:35:05,166 It doesn't look like much. 2097 01:35:06,267 --> 01:35:07,768 I call you. 2098 01:35:10,304 --> 01:35:11,906 You don't respond. 2099 01:35:13,174 --> 01:35:15,810 You-- You don't call me back. 2100 01:35:15,843 --> 01:35:17,978 I mean, i just-- It's like i'm talking to a stone. 2101 01:35:18,012 --> 01:35:22,016 And i think, well, see, i don't understand that. 2102 01:35:22,049 --> 01:35:23,317 What-- What have i done? 2103 01:35:23,350 --> 01:35:25,186 What terrible crime have i committed 2104 01:35:25,219 --> 01:35:27,421 That you would treat me like that? 2105 01:35:29,423 --> 01:35:31,058 You see, ian... 2106 01:35:32,560 --> 01:35:35,129 i didn't understand. 2107 01:35:35,162 --> 01:35:36,831 I-- I didn't. 2108 01:35:36,864 --> 01:35:38,232 I didn't understand till now... 2109 01:35:40,401 --> 01:35:43,104 how much pain i've caused you. 2110 01:35:44,305 --> 01:35:46,040 I'm sorry. 2111 01:35:47,308 --> 01:35:49,176 I'm sorry. 2112 01:35:50,945 --> 01:35:52,880 I just want you to know it was not your fault. 2113 01:35:52,913 --> 01:35:55,850 You are not to blame. 2114 01:35:55,883 --> 01:35:57,118 It was me. 2115 01:35:57,151 --> 01:36:00,087 I-- I didn't solve my problems. 2116 01:36:02,923 --> 01:36:06,293 But i want you to know, 2117 01:36:06,327 --> 01:36:08,162 That i love you... 2118 01:36:10,331 --> 01:36:11,799 my son. 2119 01:36:15,870 --> 01:36:17,071 I-- 2120 01:36:17,104 --> 01:36:18,572 No, i-- I get it, dad. 2121 01:36:18,606 --> 01:36:21,275 It's okay. 2122 01:36:21,308 --> 01:36:23,978 I get it loud and clear. 2123 01:36:28,616 --> 01:36:30,217 [Horn honks] 2124 01:36:30,251 --> 01:36:31,952 Oh. Yeah. 2125 01:36:31,986 --> 01:36:34,021 Oh, god! Ian-- 2126 01:36:35,289 --> 01:36:36,857 Ian: who the heck is that? 2127 01:36:36,891 --> 01:36:38,626 Ian... 2128 01:36:38,659 --> 01:36:40,928 that's your secretary? Yes, it's my secretary. 2129 01:36:40,961 --> 01:36:42,129 What's she doing here? 2130 01:36:42,163 --> 01:36:43,397 Well, ok, that's something else 2131 01:36:43,430 --> 01:36:45,166 That i was going to tell you. 2132 01:36:45,199 --> 01:36:47,268 What? Katherine and i are getting married, 2133 01:36:47,301 --> 01:36:49,370 And we would like you to be our best man. 2134 01:36:49,403 --> 01:36:51,205 Katherine: richard. 2135 01:36:51,238 --> 01:36:53,641 Uh... 2136 01:36:53,674 --> 01:36:55,476 richard? 2137 01:36:55,509 --> 01:36:56,977 Hi. 2138 01:37:01,282 --> 01:37:03,117 I think he's stunned. 2139 01:37:03,150 --> 01:37:04,952 Happily, i hope. 2140 01:37:04,985 --> 01:37:06,053 Nice to meet you again. 2141 01:37:06,086 --> 01:37:07,288 Congratulations. 2142 01:37:07,321 --> 01:37:08,556 [Fire alarm beeps] 2143 01:37:08,589 --> 01:37:10,424 Oh, no, he's not cooking, is he? 2144 01:37:10,457 --> 01:37:12,092 It's actually on fire. Shit! 2145 01:37:12,126 --> 01:37:14,028 Richard: oh, my god! 2146 01:37:14,061 --> 01:37:15,930 Ian: be careful. Be careful. Wait! Wait! Wait! 2147 01:37:15,963 --> 01:37:17,932 No, just put it in the sink. Put it in the sink! 2148 01:37:17,965 --> 01:37:20,067 Richard: get some water. We'll douse it-- 2149 01:37:20,100 --> 01:37:22,136 I know what i'm doing. Please! 2150 01:37:22,169 --> 01:37:24,238 I'm gonna-- I know what i'm doing! 2151 01:37:24,271 --> 01:37:25,372 Oh, god! 2152 01:37:25,406 --> 01:37:27,141 [Laughing] 2153 01:37:27,174 --> 01:37:29,243 Richard, i told you not to cook. 2154 01:37:29,276 --> 01:37:32,146 I know. I thought i could help. 2155 01:37:32,179 --> 01:37:33,647 I guess that means no breakfast? 2156 01:37:33,681 --> 01:37:36,016 Yeah, no breakfast. Oh, god. 2157 01:37:39,653 --> 01:37:42,556 Ian: it's unbelievable. 2158 01:37:48,095 --> 01:37:50,264 Well, this sucks. 2159 01:37:50,297 --> 01:37:52,299 This really sucks. 2160 01:37:53,400 --> 01:37:54,468 Who's that guy? 2161 01:37:54,501 --> 01:37:57,371 Well, you might ask. 2162 01:38:01,575 --> 01:38:03,277 [Honks] 2163 01:38:07,748 --> 01:38:09,416 Jon: how's hans? 2164 01:38:10,517 --> 01:38:11,952 Oh, fuck off. 2165 01:38:16,190 --> 01:38:18,058 You ok? 2166 01:38:19,393 --> 01:38:20,995 Yes. 2167 01:38:21,028 --> 01:38:23,397 You know, if you weren't such a jerk, 2168 01:38:23,430 --> 01:38:25,032 We could have had a great weekend 2169 01:38:25,065 --> 01:38:28,202 Getting to know each other, skiing, taking pictures, 2170 01:38:28,235 --> 01:38:31,138 But instead you treat me like air, 2171 01:38:31,171 --> 01:38:33,207 And you force me in the arms of that... 2172 01:38:33,240 --> 01:38:36,143 maniac from-- From wherever he's from. 2173 01:38:36,176 --> 01:38:37,444 New jersey. 2174 01:38:37,478 --> 01:38:38,646 Shut up while i'm talking. 2175 01:38:38,679 --> 01:38:40,114 At least he recognizes 2176 01:38:40,147 --> 01:38:41,749 A woman has emotional and spiritual needs 2177 01:38:41,782 --> 01:38:44,351 Beyond the purely sexual. 2178 01:38:44,385 --> 01:38:45,552 You understand me? 2179 01:38:45,586 --> 01:38:47,354 Yes. 2180 01:38:47,388 --> 01:38:48,756 If you want me to care about you, 2181 01:38:48,789 --> 01:38:51,025 It's going to take more than a mercedes 2182 01:38:51,058 --> 01:38:54,428 Or that worn-Out line of yours about discovering supermodels. 2183 01:38:56,463 --> 01:38:58,499 You have to focus your attention on me 2184 01:38:58,532 --> 01:39:00,401 And make it about me. 2185 01:39:00,434 --> 01:39:01,735 You got that? 2186 01:39:01,769 --> 01:39:03,504 Yes. 2187 01:39:03,537 --> 01:39:05,406 Because i'm the kind of girl you marry. 2188 01:39:28,529 --> 01:39:30,631 Ich liebe dich. 2189 01:40:19,179 --> 01:40:22,583 ™� how could i know i'd feel this way? ™� 2190 01:40:26,353 --> 01:40:29,623 ™� how could i know that one fine day ♪ 2191 01:40:31,525 --> 01:40:34,728 ™� you'd be mine? 2192 01:40:34,762 --> 01:40:38,365 ™� i had searched my whole life through ♪ 2193 01:40:38,399 --> 01:40:41,635 ™� just to find 2194 01:40:41,668 --> 01:40:43,704 ™� i'd been waitin' 2195 01:40:43,737 --> 01:40:47,307 ™� for someone like you 2196 01:40:48,442 --> 01:40:51,745 ™� someone like you 2197 01:40:51,779 --> 01:40:55,449 ™� someone like you 2198 01:40:55,482 --> 01:40:57,751 ™� someone like you 2199 01:41:00,487 --> 01:41:04,224 ™� i had some dream, some fantasy ♪ 2200 01:41:07,494 --> 01:41:11,265 ™� of who that someone would be ♪ 2201 01:41:12,599 --> 01:41:16,403 ™� i've been so blind 2202 01:41:16,437 --> 01:41:19,506 ™� up till now i couldn't see ♪ 2203 01:41:19,540 --> 01:41:23,310 ™� that all this time 2204 01:41:23,343 --> 01:41:28,449 ™� you've been standing right in front of me ♪ 2205 01:41:30,217 --> 01:41:33,454 ™� someone for me 2206 01:41:33,487 --> 01:41:36,824 ™� someone for me 2207 01:41:36,857 --> 01:41:39,893 ™� someone for me 2208 01:41:56,210 --> 01:41:59,746 ™� now every day and every night ♪ 2209 01:42:02,983 --> 01:42:06,420 ™� i get to be with one so right ♪ 2210 01:42:07,988 --> 01:42:11,859 ™� so good for me 2211 01:42:11,892 --> 01:42:14,862 ™� i can't believe that this is true ♪ 2212 01:42:14,895 --> 01:42:18,699 ™� now, i can see 2213 01:42:18,732 --> 01:42:24,171 ™� that my heart had been holdin' out for you ♪ 2214 01:42:25,506 --> 01:42:28,942 ™� someone like you 2215 01:42:28,976 --> 01:42:32,479 ™� someone like you 2216 01:42:32,513 --> 01:42:35,883 ™� someone like you 2217 01:42:35,916 --> 01:42:39,553 ™� someone like you 2218 01:42:39,586 --> 01:42:42,856 ™� someone like you 2219 01:42:42,890 --> 01:42:46,426 ™� someone like me 2220 01:42:46,460 --> 01:42:48,862 ™� someone like you 2221 01:42:48,896 --> 01:42:51,265 ™� yeah. 2222 01:43:05,913 --> 01:43:10,651 Why does it always have to be about sex?! 146874

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.