All language subtitles for Cannibals.and.Carpet.Fitters.2018

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali Download
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech Download
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay Download
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian Download
pl Polish
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian Download
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala Download
sk Slovak Download
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili Download
sv Swedish Download
tg Tajik
ta Tamil Download
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:05,001 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:07,523 --> 00:00:10,791 Okay, we are officially on the road! 3 00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:13,227 Whoo! 4 00:00:13,229 --> 00:00:14,628 Jack, is this recording? 5 00:00:14,630 --> 00:00:16,295 Well, check if the red light's on. 6 00:00:16,297 --> 00:00:17,431 Can't see. 7 00:00:17,433 --> 00:00:18,632 Oh, yeah. 8 00:00:18,634 --> 00:00:20,666 There we go. 9 00:00:20,668 --> 00:00:22,835 We are on our way. Smile at the camera. 10 00:00:22,837 --> 00:00:24,805 No, not when I'm not driving. 11 00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:26,440 You're such a miserable sod. 12 00:00:26,442 --> 00:00:28,875 We're going on a camping trip. Be happy! 13 00:00:28,877 --> 00:00:31,844 Yay! Five-and-a-half hours in a car! 14 00:00:31,846 --> 00:00:33,949 The red letter day nobody wants! 15 00:00:39,287 --> 00:00:41,488 Aw, look, all the tents. 16 00:00:41,490 --> 00:00:44,360 Yeah, tents, great. 17 00:00:48,896 --> 00:00:50,931 So here we are. 18 00:00:50,933 --> 00:00:54,767 Everyone's having a lovely time in their tents. 19 00:00:54,769 --> 00:00:56,937 And this is us. 20 00:00:56,939 --> 00:00:58,938 Yep. 21 00:00:58,940 --> 00:01:02,575 It's literally been several hours now, 22 00:01:02,577 --> 00:01:04,744 and Jack still hasn't put up the tent. 23 00:01:04,746 --> 00:01:08,284 Except it hasn't been several hours, has it? 24 00:01:27,002 --> 00:01:29,369 And as you can see, we've gone for the... 25 00:01:29,371 --> 00:01:31,837 less-is-more approach with the tent. 26 00:01:31,839 --> 00:01:34,840 You don't like it, you can go bunk up with Weirdy-Beardy. 27 00:01:35,877 --> 00:01:37,810 It's fine, darling. 28 00:01:37,812 --> 00:01:41,447 Here's to our romantic camping weekend! 29 00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:42,715 - Okay. - Whoo-hoo! 30 00:01:42,717 --> 00:01:44,853 - Ayes ayes ayes. - Ayes ayes ayes. 31 00:01:46,422 --> 00:01:48,324 Oh, that's disgusting. 32 00:01:52,493 --> 00:01:55,828 Jack, it's what it's all about. It's beautiful. 33 00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:57,433 You must like this. 34 00:01:59,368 --> 00:02:02,437 We're on private land. We're probably gonna get shot. 35 00:02:06,841 --> 00:02:08,608 Jack! 36 00:02:08,610 --> 00:02:10,710 - Can't bring your phone with! - All right, all right! 37 00:02:10,712 --> 00:02:13,347 Jeez! 38 00:02:13,349 --> 00:02:15,585 Two minutes! 39 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:22,923 Oh! Something met its end here! 40 00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:25,591 Gill! Gill, come on down and come and see this! 41 00:02:25,593 --> 00:02:26,992 I'm really sad. 42 00:02:26,994 --> 00:02:29,395 - No! - No, that's horrible. 43 00:02:29,397 --> 00:02:30,764 You gotta come and see it! 44 00:02:30,766 --> 00:02:33,667 The poor baby had a mom and a dad and friends. 45 00:02:33,669 --> 00:02:35,634 He probably does. 46 00:02:35,636 --> 00:02:37,372 I'm hungry. Let's go get some food. 47 00:02:41,409 --> 00:02:45,611 And here she comes, finally! 48 00:02:45,613 --> 00:02:46,947 Jack, give me the camera back. 49 00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:48,948 No! Come on, just catch up! 50 00:02:48,950 --> 00:02:50,516 Jack, don't film me when I'm tired. 51 00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:52,885 I look awful. 52 00:02:52,887 --> 00:02:55,020 You're the one who wanted to see the countryside! 53 00:02:55,022 --> 00:02:56,789 Look at it! Isn't it beautiful? 54 00:02:56,791 --> 00:02:58,093 Don't start. 55 00:03:10,938 --> 00:03:13,573 Babe, can you remember which way we came? 56 00:03:13,575 --> 00:03:16,675 I think someone's got us lost. 57 00:03:16,677 --> 00:03:19,478 No. This way. 58 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,116 - Mm-hmm. - Come on. 59 00:03:23,152 --> 00:03:24,520 Okay. 60 00:03:28,623 --> 00:03:30,823 Jack, it's bloody dark now, and you've gotten us lost, 61 00:03:30,825 --> 00:03:32,626 and I'm freezing. 62 00:03:32,628 --> 00:03:34,997 Give me the camera. There's a light on it. 63 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,969 Here, get the lantern from my bag. 64 00:03:42,938 --> 00:03:45,572 Shh, shh, shh! 65 00:03:45,574 --> 00:03:47,807 Oh, my God, what? 66 00:03:47,809 --> 00:03:49,476 You hear that? 67 00:03:49,478 --> 00:03:51,777 Yeah, what is that? 68 00:03:51,779 --> 00:03:53,782 Don't know. Come on, let's move. 69 00:03:59,955 --> 00:04:01,687 Jack, slow down! 70 00:04:01,689 --> 00:04:03,690 Come on, then. There's something behind us! 71 00:04:05,694 --> 00:04:06,859 What was it? 72 00:04:09,130 --> 00:04:11,730 Oh, my God, it's still there. Jack, it's still there! 73 00:04:11,732 --> 00:04:12,835 Come on! 74 00:04:24,111 --> 00:04:25,614 Gillian. 75 00:04:26,647 --> 00:04:29,049 Gilly. 76 00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:31,484 You just left me, you prick! 77 00:04:31,486 --> 00:04:33,556 Shh, shh, shh! 78 00:04:35,524 --> 00:04:37,523 Oh, shit. Jack! 79 00:04:42,763 --> 00:04:45,532 Oh, my God! Jack! 80 00:04:50,972 --> 00:04:52,808 Oh, my God! 81 00:05:10,691 --> 00:05:12,292 Please, let me in! 82 00:05:12,294 --> 00:05:13,893 Help me, help me! 83 00:05:13,895 --> 00:05:15,996 Oh, are you all right there, my dear? 84 00:05:15,998 --> 00:05:17,597 Oh, what's going on? 85 00:05:17,599 --> 00:05:20,165 You can't just barge into my house like this. 86 00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:23,636 I'm so sorry, but there's something out there. 87 00:05:23,638 --> 00:05:25,104 I think it's just killed my boyfriend! 88 00:05:25,106 --> 00:05:26,972 Please, I need to call the police! 89 00:05:26,974 --> 00:05:28,775 Calm down, dear, no need to worry. 90 00:05:28,777 --> 00:05:30,143 You're safe now. 91 00:05:30,145 --> 00:05:31,611 No, you don't understand. 92 00:05:31,613 --> 00:05:34,047 I need to call the police! It just... 93 00:05:34,049 --> 00:05:36,181 It just grabbed him like he was a piece of meat! 94 00:05:36,183 --> 00:05:38,018 What grabbed him? 95 00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:40,020 I don't know! 96 00:05:40,022 --> 00:05:43,256 It was huge! Oh, my God, Jack! 97 00:05:43,258 --> 00:05:46,993 Oh, oh, you poor thing! You're shaking! 98 00:05:46,995 --> 00:05:48,895 Come on, let's get you in the kitchen, 99 00:05:48,897 --> 00:05:51,297 sit you down and get you a nice cup of tea. 100 00:05:51,299 --> 00:05:53,333 No, I just need to call the police, please! 101 00:05:53,335 --> 00:05:55,969 That's all right, dear. The phone's in the kitchen. 102 00:05:55,971 --> 00:05:57,807 Come this way. 103 00:06:01,642 --> 00:06:03,012 This way, my dear. 104 00:06:10,786 --> 00:06:12,885 Take a seat with my boys. 105 00:06:12,887 --> 00:06:15,190 Just popping the kettle on. 106 00:06:18,993 --> 00:06:22,128 We don't often get visitors, do we, boys? 107 00:06:32,039 --> 00:06:35,075 Don't worry. They won't bite you. 108 00:06:35,077 --> 00:06:36,710 Do you take sugar? 109 00:06:36,712 --> 00:06:39,813 Um, just milk. 110 00:06:39,815 --> 00:06:42,782 Wait, did you say you had a phone that I could use? 111 00:06:42,784 --> 00:06:45,885 Oh, yes, sorry, dear. There's me being mother. 112 00:06:45,887 --> 00:06:49,325 Two seconds, my lovely. I'll be right back. 113 00:06:51,859 --> 00:06:54,760 Phone, phone, now where did I put it? 114 00:06:57,099 --> 00:06:59,969 So, um, how long have you guys lived here... 115 00:07:00,969 --> 00:07:02,238 Oh! 116 00:07:05,674 --> 00:07:07,342 Grub's up, boys! 117 00:07:23,058 --> 00:07:24,694 Charlie! 118 00:07:28,296 --> 00:07:30,266 Dinner time! 119 00:07:40,308 --> 00:07:42,211 That's my boy. 120 00:07:46,214 --> 00:07:47,946 ♪ Carpets make your day ♪ 121 00:07:47,948 --> 00:07:50,150 ♪ We're dashing through the lake ♪ 122 00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:53,389 You fucking prick! 123 00:07:58,260 --> 00:07:59,395 Dad! 124 00:08:06,702 --> 00:08:09,001 - What is it? - Phone for ya. 125 00:08:09,003 --> 00:08:10,335 Already? 126 00:08:10,337 --> 00:08:12,337 Only just opened. 127 00:08:12,339 --> 00:08:13,338 Who is it? 128 00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:14,873 I don't know. 129 00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:18,078 - Who is it? - Hey! Give it here. 130 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,713 Go and make us a cuppa. 131 00:08:20,715 --> 00:08:22,748 Hello? 132 00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:25,984 Oh, hello there, Mrs. Hanning. 133 00:08:25,986 --> 00:08:29,823 Yes, I've got my best team heading out to you. 134 00:08:29,825 --> 00:08:31,224 Do not worry. 135 00:08:31,226 --> 00:08:34,094 They're literally loading up now, okay? 136 00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:37,096 Lovely. If you have any problems, 137 00:08:37,098 --> 00:08:39,832 just give me a call, okay? 138 00:08:39,834 --> 00:08:42,203 Thanks. Bye! 139 00:08:45,406 --> 00:08:46,906 Morning, all. 140 00:08:46,908 --> 00:08:48,307 Chris. 141 00:08:48,309 --> 00:08:50,744 Ah, Christopher. 142 00:08:50,746 --> 00:08:54,814 It seems your alarm clock is 10 minutes out of sync again. 143 00:08:54,816 --> 00:08:57,282 You really need to look into that. 144 00:08:57,284 --> 00:08:58,350 All right. 145 00:08:58,352 --> 00:09:01,488 I had a... late night. 146 00:09:01,490 --> 00:09:04,090 Ugh. Too much information. 147 00:09:04,092 --> 00:09:07,127 I can't hear that kettle boiling, Jade. 148 00:09:10,231 --> 00:09:12,264 Oh, yeah, make us a brew. 149 00:09:12,266 --> 00:09:15,301 Gosh, as if I'm not busy enough! 150 00:09:15,303 --> 00:09:18,838 - Tash in? - She's out back loading up. 151 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,541 Yes, and can you go and help her, please? 152 00:09:21,543 --> 00:09:23,877 It's a big job today. 153 00:09:23,879 --> 00:09:26,345 All right, Nige. God, I ain't even had a tea yet. 154 00:09:26,347 --> 00:09:28,248 Remember to make up for those 10 minutes 155 00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,849 during your lunch as well. 156 00:09:30,851 --> 00:09:32,387 Yeah, whatever. 157 00:09:39,394 --> 00:09:40,830 Tash! 158 00:09:42,831 --> 00:09:44,397 Heads up! 159 00:09:44,399 --> 00:09:45,931 Come on, watch the hair! 160 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,801 You vain sod. 161 00:09:47,803 --> 00:09:50,069 Anyway, you're late, as always. 162 00:09:50,071 --> 00:09:51,503 I had a bit of late one. 163 00:09:51,505 --> 00:09:53,473 You know what I'm like when I hit the sambucus. 164 00:09:53,475 --> 00:09:55,941 Stop, stop. I don't care. 165 00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,476 Just get that on the van. 166 00:09:57,478 --> 00:09:59,311 All right, chill out. What's the job? 167 00:09:59,313 --> 00:10:01,947 Some old country house apparently, 168 00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:03,582 in the middle of nowhere. 169 00:10:03,584 --> 00:10:05,754 A big country house. 170 00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:09,288 And here's your paperwork. 171 00:10:09,290 --> 00:10:11,191 Have you got enough gripper on the van? 172 00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:12,358 Yes. 173 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:13,593 And underlay? 174 00:10:13,595 --> 00:10:15,128 Yes, Nige. 175 00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:17,297 Okay, just checking. 176 00:10:17,299 --> 00:10:19,367 It's a good job for us, this one. 177 00:10:21,535 --> 00:10:23,371 Behave yourself, please. 178 00:10:26,908 --> 00:10:28,340 Hold on, a full house? 179 00:10:28,342 --> 00:10:30,276 Just you and me? That's bullshit. 180 00:10:30,278 --> 00:10:33,278 Don't worry. Your best mates Dean and Colin will be there. 181 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:34,980 Great. 182 00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:37,182 I think I prefer just us doing it. 183 00:10:37,184 --> 00:10:38,853 Where are they now, then? 184 00:10:40,388 --> 00:10:42,589 Don't do it. 185 00:10:42,591 --> 00:10:44,858 Colin, don't do it. 186 00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:46,392 What? 187 00:10:46,394 --> 00:10:47,960 You gonna hit a pipe. 188 00:10:47,962 --> 00:10:49,494 I'm not gonna hit a pipe. 189 00:10:49,496 --> 00:10:52,364 I am telling you now you're gonna go hit a pipe. 190 00:10:52,366 --> 00:10:54,334 I'm not going to hit a bloody pipe. 191 00:10:54,336 --> 00:10:56,436 How long do you think I've been doing this job? 192 00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:59,439 All right. Go on, then. 193 00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:01,240 Oh, you didn't lay the wrong way around. 194 00:11:01,242 --> 00:11:03,176 Oh, for God's sake, will you shut up? 195 00:11:03,178 --> 00:11:04,509 I don't see you down here doing it. 196 00:11:04,511 --> 00:11:07,213 And how am I supposed to fit down there with you? 197 00:11:07,215 --> 00:11:09,548 And what's that supposed to mean? 198 00:11:14,422 --> 00:11:16,258 See? Told ya. 199 00:11:19,494 --> 00:11:21,494 She ain't happy. 200 00:11:21,496 --> 00:11:23,562 Listen, Nige, it's fine. She's all right with it. 201 00:11:23,564 --> 00:11:25,931 And we told her these things happen. 202 00:11:25,933 --> 00:11:29,636 What? Well, of course I rang the plumber, yeah, yeah. 203 00:11:29,638 --> 00:11:31,403 Hey, hold on a minute. 204 00:11:31,405 --> 00:11:33,605 Well, Malcolm has just turned up now. 205 00:11:33,607 --> 00:11:37,176 Yeah. I know, big house, big job, big money, I get it. 206 00:11:37,178 --> 00:11:39,244 Don't panic, all right? 207 00:11:39,246 --> 00:11:41,648 We'll start loading up the van, and we'll head out there. 208 00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:44,517 All right, okay. Okay, okeydokey. 209 00:11:44,519 --> 00:11:46,619 Cheese. Bye, Nige. Bye. Bye. 210 00:11:46,621 --> 00:11:49,388 He never bloody stops him. 211 00:11:49,390 --> 00:11:51,356 - Morning, fellas. - Malcolm. 212 00:11:51,358 --> 00:11:54,259 Oh, finally showed up now we've finished the job. 213 00:11:54,261 --> 00:11:55,628 Where's your car? 214 00:11:55,630 --> 00:11:58,230 Oh, yeah, sorry, man. I sorta lost it. 215 00:11:58,232 --> 00:12:00,066 - You lost your car? - Didn't mean to. 216 00:12:00,068 --> 00:12:01,566 I had a late night one, you know? 217 00:12:01,568 --> 00:12:03,268 Hey, I got home okay, though, didn't I? 218 00:12:03,270 --> 00:12:06,205 How did you lose it? I shouldn't even ask. 219 00:12:06,207 --> 00:12:07,706 Can't remember. 220 00:12:07,708 --> 00:12:09,709 Oh, well, these things turn up. They always do. 221 00:12:09,711 --> 00:12:11,476 You see, they don't, though, Malcolm. 222 00:12:11,478 --> 00:12:13,946 Your car keys maybe, but a little Fiat Punto 223 00:12:13,948 --> 00:12:15,480 ain't gonna turn up on your windowsill, is it? 224 00:12:15,482 --> 00:12:17,450 Oh, well, luckily, I left the keys in the car, 225 00:12:17,452 --> 00:12:21,287 so at least I'll get them back at the same time. 226 00:12:21,289 --> 00:12:23,355 Don't worry. He's just in a mood 'cause he's weed himself. 227 00:12:23,357 --> 00:12:25,325 Oh, right, yeah, cool. 228 00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:27,125 Overactive bladder syndrome. 229 00:12:27,127 --> 00:12:28,628 That is common when you get to, like, your 50s. 230 00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:30,430 - My nan had it. - Shut it, Malcolm. 231 00:12:30,432 --> 00:12:31,730 I'm not even 50. 232 00:12:31,732 --> 00:12:33,432 Lob your bike in the van and get in. 233 00:12:33,434 --> 00:12:35,200 - Where we going now, then? - Gonna go meet Tash. 234 00:12:35,202 --> 00:12:37,570 Your favorite, hey? Whoa, what you doing? 235 00:12:37,572 --> 00:12:39,471 You in the back as well, mate. 236 00:12:39,473 --> 00:12:41,173 Isn't that illegal, me in the back? 237 00:12:41,175 --> 00:12:42,542 Not if you keep your head down. 238 00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:44,109 Why can't I sit up there with you two? 239 00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,610 Malcolm, apprentices have to sit in the back. 240 00:12:45,612 --> 00:12:48,181 We've been through this. It's a rite of passage. 241 00:12:48,183 --> 00:12:49,481 All right, then. 242 00:12:49,483 --> 00:12:52,120 You say we're meeting Tash, yeah? 243 00:13:04,432 --> 00:13:06,766 Wow. Can really smell the shit in the air around here. 244 00:13:14,174 --> 00:13:17,509 Aw, Craig's a player, man. Top lad. 245 00:13:17,511 --> 00:13:19,711 Some funny shit! 246 00:13:19,713 --> 00:13:21,647 What are you doing? 247 00:13:21,649 --> 00:13:25,118 Craig sent me some pics from last night. Look. 248 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:28,220 Don't you think my arms look big in that shirt? 249 00:13:28,222 --> 00:13:31,423 Is that Malcolm in the background? 250 00:13:31,425 --> 00:13:33,426 Is it? 251 00:13:33,428 --> 00:13:35,194 Don't remember seeing him out. 252 00:13:35,196 --> 00:13:37,629 Look, forget your phone. Can you help me fix the satnav? 253 00:13:37,631 --> 00:13:39,798 Chill out! 254 00:13:41,602 --> 00:13:43,603 Look, it's broken anyway. I told you that last time. 255 00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:45,604 What you reckon, new profile pic? 256 00:13:45,606 --> 00:13:48,074 Just forget your phone. 257 00:13:48,076 --> 00:13:49,341 Just find directions. 258 00:13:49,343 --> 00:13:51,212 I'll just ring Nige and ask him. 259 00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:56,516 This one here? 260 00:13:56,518 --> 00:13:59,118 Oh, so lovely, so soft. 261 00:14:02,656 --> 00:14:04,657 Feel your feet on that. 262 00:14:10,465 --> 00:14:12,101 Phone, Jade! 263 00:14:13,534 --> 00:14:15,334 Don't be shy. Take your shoes off. 264 00:14:15,336 --> 00:14:17,402 Cupid Carpets. Jade speaking. 265 00:14:17,404 --> 00:14:19,739 Dad! Phone! 266 00:14:19,741 --> 00:14:21,706 Perfect color for this time of year as well. 267 00:14:21,708 --> 00:14:24,543 Who is it? 268 00:14:24,545 --> 00:14:26,515 Who is it? 269 00:14:28,449 --> 00:14:30,649 It's Chris! 270 00:14:31,685 --> 00:14:34,122 Excuse me one second. 271 00:14:42,563 --> 00:14:44,599 Don't let them leave. 272 00:14:48,535 --> 00:14:50,472 Yes, hello? 273 00:14:51,739 --> 00:14:54,706 The postcode is on the paperwork. 274 00:14:54,708 --> 00:14:56,676 What? 275 00:14:56,678 --> 00:15:00,245 Well, use a satnav. 276 00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:01,516 Who broke it? 277 00:15:03,217 --> 00:15:04,385 Sorry, mate. 278 00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:14,226 You guys not been to this place before, no? 279 00:15:14,228 --> 00:15:16,295 No, Malcolm, otherwise I wouldn't be working out 280 00:15:16,297 --> 00:15:19,465 Nigel's useless directions, would I? 281 00:15:19,467 --> 00:15:21,334 When did you start smoking, then? 282 00:15:21,336 --> 00:15:23,136 Me? Oh, few years now. 283 00:15:24,338 --> 00:15:26,239 - Want one? - No, thanks. 284 00:15:26,241 --> 00:15:28,306 I don't think you're gonna impress Tasha with all that. 285 00:15:28,308 --> 00:15:29,441 You know, she's a health freak. 286 00:15:29,443 --> 00:15:30,909 Really? 287 00:15:30,911 --> 00:15:32,711 Don't even know why I started, to be honest. 288 00:15:32,713 --> 00:15:34,580 Only started last week. I think it's just a case of... 289 00:15:34,582 --> 00:15:36,481 You're rambling again. 290 00:15:36,483 --> 00:15:39,551 Aw, I just dripped egg all over the roadmap. 291 00:15:39,553 --> 00:15:41,354 You're an animal. 292 00:15:41,356 --> 00:15:43,189 Haven't you chaps ever thought about using one of those 293 00:15:43,191 --> 00:15:45,191 satellite navigation thingies? 294 00:15:45,193 --> 00:15:46,758 - I don't trust them. - Why? 295 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:47,859 I just don't. 296 00:15:47,861 --> 00:15:49,528 Tell him why. 297 00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:51,497 Because they're not always right. 298 00:15:51,499 --> 00:15:54,167 Or because some people follow every instruction blindly, 299 00:15:54,169 --> 00:15:56,168 even if it means driving into a fence. 300 00:15:56,170 --> 00:15:58,237 Well, it said turn right, didn't it? 301 00:15:58,239 --> 00:16:00,705 How many times did I say you're going the wrong way, Col? 302 00:16:00,707 --> 00:16:02,407 Oh, look, there's a fence, Col. 303 00:16:02,409 --> 00:16:03,676 We're going to crash, Colin. 304 00:16:03,678 --> 00:16:06,345 - Is that true? - He's lying again. 305 00:16:06,347 --> 00:16:08,480 Oh, I'm lying, am I? Let's go and ask the poor family 306 00:16:08,482 --> 00:16:10,615 having their kid's birthday party in the garden, shall we? 307 00:16:10,617 --> 00:16:12,284 Ask them if I'm lying. 308 00:16:12,286 --> 00:16:14,653 Oh, he's over-exaggerating it a bit. 309 00:16:14,655 --> 00:16:16,855 Anyway, shouldn't we be getting a move on, fellas? 310 00:16:16,857 --> 00:16:19,492 Malcolm, you know the score. The quicker we get there, 311 00:16:19,494 --> 00:16:21,326 the more work we're gonna have to do. 312 00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,498 Chill out, they'll be fine. 313 00:16:29,670 --> 00:16:32,470 When he said "big," I didn't think this kind of big. 314 00:16:32,472 --> 00:16:33,839 Well done, Nige. 315 00:16:33,841 --> 00:16:36,209 Can see why he wanted all of us here. 316 00:16:36,211 --> 00:16:37,880 Fucking great. 317 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:48,757 Enjoy the pie, boys. 318 00:16:54,728 --> 00:16:56,662 All I'm saying is I just either prefer 319 00:16:56,664 --> 00:17:00,566 working on my own or with you 'cause the others do my head in. 320 00:17:00,568 --> 00:17:01,767 Hello. 321 00:17:01,769 --> 00:17:03,936 - Hi. Mrs. Hanning, is it? - Yes. 322 00:17:03,938 --> 00:17:07,340 - We're from Cupid Carpets. - Oh, the carpet people! 323 00:17:07,342 --> 00:17:08,674 Do come in, do come in. 324 00:17:08,676 --> 00:17:09,778 Thank you. 325 00:17:11,746 --> 00:17:14,780 Ooh, you're a strong man, aren't you? 326 00:17:14,782 --> 00:17:16,415 The job keeps me fit. 327 00:17:16,417 --> 00:17:19,784 I bet it does. I bet it does. 328 00:17:19,786 --> 00:17:21,786 Just follow me. 329 00:17:21,788 --> 00:17:24,889 Do you want me to show you around or... 330 00:17:24,891 --> 00:17:26,658 You show us where the living room is, 331 00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:28,394 we can set up in there, if you like. 332 00:17:28,396 --> 00:17:31,496 Okay, my dears, this way, then. 333 00:17:31,498 --> 00:17:33,666 It's nice and quiet around here, isn't it? 334 00:17:33,668 --> 00:17:36,572 Yes. Just the way I like it. 335 00:17:38,773 --> 00:17:40,872 This is the living room. 336 00:17:40,874 --> 00:17:42,875 It should be no problem at all. 337 00:17:42,877 --> 00:17:44,877 We don't use it much anymore. 338 00:17:44,879 --> 00:17:47,679 We've got so many other rooms. 339 00:17:47,681 --> 00:17:50,382 Jeez, look at this fella. 340 00:17:50,384 --> 00:17:52,618 Could be from that film. What's it called? 341 00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:55,588 That's an old relative of mine, my dear. 342 00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:57,326 Quite a family heirloom, that. 343 00:17:59,660 --> 00:18:03,928 We managed to move most of the furniture for you. 344 00:18:03,930 --> 00:18:05,298 On your own? 345 00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:07,766 My boys helped me. 346 00:18:07,768 --> 00:18:10,069 We got rid of all the old carpets as well. 347 00:18:10,071 --> 00:18:12,538 I know that can be a pain. 348 00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:13,673 Yeah, you wouldn't believe what your carpets 349 00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:14,907 will pick up over the years. 350 00:18:14,909 --> 00:18:17,709 No, I can imagine. 351 00:18:17,711 --> 00:18:19,645 Can I get you a cup of tea or anything? 352 00:18:19,647 --> 00:18:22,514 Oh, yeah, tea would be great, thanks. No sugar. 353 00:18:22,516 --> 00:18:24,750 One tea, no sugar. And you, my dear? 354 00:18:24,752 --> 00:18:26,484 Oh, no, I'm fine, thank you. 355 00:18:26,486 --> 00:18:30,625 All right, well, give me a shout if you change your mind. 356 00:18:32,959 --> 00:18:34,694 - Seriously? - What? 357 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,494 Well, no wonder she lives all the way out here 358 00:18:36,496 --> 00:18:37,963 'cause her family's well ugly. 359 00:18:37,965 --> 00:18:39,932 You need to watch your mouth. 360 00:18:39,934 --> 00:18:42,801 I speak to the customers, not you, simple. 361 00:18:42,803 --> 00:18:44,637 Okay, okay, calm down. 362 00:18:44,639 --> 00:18:47,005 Just making conversation. 363 00:18:47,007 --> 00:18:49,542 Bet this place is haunted or something. 364 00:18:49,544 --> 00:18:51,510 If you believe in that crap. 365 00:18:51,512 --> 00:18:54,383 You could make a proper good horror film here, though. 366 00:18:56,117 --> 00:18:59,685 They were just some ordinary carpet fitters. 367 00:18:59,687 --> 00:19:02,420 She was a sweet old lady that lived in some crap hole 368 00:19:02,422 --> 00:19:04,055 in the middle of nowhere. 369 00:19:04,057 --> 00:19:06,058 Are you actually gonna do some work today? 370 00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:08,394 Why don't you get that stuff off the van? 371 00:19:08,396 --> 00:19:10,795 - Well, what you gonna do? - Prep upstairs. 372 00:19:10,797 --> 00:19:12,630 Well, the others better hurry up 373 00:19:12,632 --> 00:19:14,702 'cause I ain't doing all this on my own. 374 00:19:16,737 --> 00:19:17,969 ♪ Hey ♪ 375 00:19:17,971 --> 00:19:20,505 ♪ No, you're outta the frame ♪ 376 00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:22,742 ♪ No, you're outta the frame ♪ 377 00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,976 ♪ No, you're outta the frame ♪ 378 00:19:24,978 --> 00:19:27,413 ♪ No, you're outta the frame ♪ 379 00:19:27,415 --> 00:19:30,116 ♪ No, you're outta the frame ♪ 380 00:19:30,118 --> 00:19:32,551 What are you doing, man? 381 00:19:32,553 --> 00:19:34,153 You're doing my head in, giving me a headache. 382 00:19:34,155 --> 00:19:36,021 - I was getting into it. - Yeah, I noticed. 383 00:19:36,023 --> 00:19:38,390 Don't give up the day job whatever you do. 384 00:19:38,392 --> 00:19:40,993 Oh, sorry, Col! 385 00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:44,096 What's wrong with you today? 386 00:19:44,098 --> 00:19:45,898 Nothing. What do you mean? 387 00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:49,435 You're a miserable bastard, that's what I mean. 388 00:19:49,437 --> 00:19:50,770 She's leaving me, Dean. 389 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,036 Who is? 390 00:19:52,038 --> 00:19:54,639 Carol, my wife! 391 00:19:54,641 --> 00:19:56,442 Jesus, you've met her at every Christmas doo 392 00:19:56,444 --> 00:19:57,810 for the last five years! 393 00:19:57,812 --> 00:20:00,413 Yeah, I know who Carol is. 394 00:20:00,415 --> 00:20:03,581 Do you wanna talk about it? 395 00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:05,484 No, not really. 396 00:20:05,486 --> 00:20:06,718 All right. 397 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,154 Well, actually, if you must know, 398 00:20:08,156 --> 00:20:10,523 she says I've become boring and predictable, 399 00:20:10,525 --> 00:20:12,157 and I'm just not spontaneous anymore. 400 00:20:12,159 --> 00:20:14,459 I mean, me, not spontaneous? 401 00:20:14,461 --> 00:20:16,428 I get fish and chips for dinner every Friday night, 402 00:20:16,430 --> 00:20:17,929 ungrateful bitch! 403 00:20:17,931 --> 00:20:20,468 You let it out, mate. Better if we pull over, eh? 404 00:20:26,474 --> 00:20:29,942 I mean, how am I suppose to fit it all in? 405 00:20:29,944 --> 00:20:32,945 I'm trying to pay for the patio she's always wanted. 406 00:20:32,947 --> 00:20:36,815 That's why I work the extra overtime. 407 00:20:36,817 --> 00:20:38,617 No, I'm not silly, I know I might have 408 00:20:38,619 --> 00:20:40,051 put on a few pounds since the '80s, 409 00:20:40,053 --> 00:20:42,987 but we've all changed since then. 410 00:20:42,989 --> 00:20:45,457 I mean, she ain't exactly Bonnie fucking Tyler. 411 00:20:45,459 --> 00:20:48,226 - You know what I mean? - Sure, mate. 412 00:20:48,228 --> 00:20:50,795 I mean, I try and do the right thing, settle down, 413 00:20:50,797 --> 00:20:54,800 get a secure job, get married, have kids, 414 00:20:54,802 --> 00:20:57,869 and this is what I get for it. 415 00:20:57,871 --> 00:20:59,504 It's a joke, Dean, it's a joke. 416 00:20:59,506 --> 00:21:00,505 I'm a joke! 417 00:21:00,507 --> 00:21:02,073 Right, listen to me now. 418 00:21:02,075 --> 00:21:05,778 You are not a joke, so pull yourself together. 419 00:21:05,780 --> 00:21:07,713 You are Colin the carpet fitter, 420 00:21:07,715 --> 00:21:09,814 and the best carpet fitter I know. 421 00:21:09,816 --> 00:21:12,083 And carpet fitters don't cry, do they? 422 00:21:12,085 --> 00:21:14,052 Hey? 423 00:21:14,054 --> 00:21:16,591 No. So who are ya? 424 00:21:18,692 --> 00:21:20,493 Colin the carpet fitter. 425 00:21:20,495 --> 00:21:23,262 That's right, and what don't carpet fitters do? 426 00:21:23,264 --> 00:21:24,730 Carpet fitters don't cry. 427 00:21:24,732 --> 00:21:26,564 Exactly, and what are we gonna do now? 428 00:21:26,566 --> 00:21:27,933 Go fit some carpet. 429 00:21:27,935 --> 00:21:29,738 Good. Come on, then. 430 00:21:31,706 --> 00:21:34,005 - Sorry about that, mate. - It's all right, mate. 431 00:21:34,007 --> 00:21:35,741 You know where you're going, yeah? 432 00:21:35,743 --> 00:21:38,878 I think so, I think so. 433 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,679 Just a case of staying positive. 434 00:21:41,681 --> 00:21:45,453 No, I mean, you know where you're driving to? 435 00:22:00,001 --> 00:22:01,934 Here you are, my lovely. 436 00:22:01,936 --> 00:22:03,903 Ah, thanks, love. 437 00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:05,204 Cheers. 438 00:22:25,126 --> 00:22:29,928 ♪ I want to take you out to dinner ♪ 439 00:22:29,930 --> 00:22:32,932 ♪ My darling ♪ 440 00:22:35,335 --> 00:22:37,805 What is this shit? 441 00:23:11,639 --> 00:23:15,174 ♪ For when we die ♪ 442 00:23:15,176 --> 00:23:19,278 ♪ Wade through the line ♪ 443 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:22,684 ♪ The pending high ♪ 444 00:23:24,685 --> 00:23:25,984 Beautiful. 445 00:23:25,986 --> 00:23:27,619 Beautiful. 446 00:23:27,621 --> 00:23:29,621 Thank you. Thank you for coming. 447 00:23:29,623 --> 00:23:30,891 Thank you. 448 00:23:34,061 --> 00:23:35,163 Tash! 449 00:23:36,630 --> 00:23:38,030 I'm ready to fit down here now! 450 00:23:38,032 --> 00:23:40,735 Shall we get the carpets off the van?! 451 00:23:43,103 --> 00:23:44,605 Tash?! 452 00:23:45,939 --> 00:23:47,708 Fucking deaf, man! 453 00:23:52,213 --> 00:23:54,213 Weird. 454 00:23:54,215 --> 00:23:56,115 Hello! 455 00:23:56,117 --> 00:23:59,318 I can't seem to open this door! 456 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:00,819 Hello! 457 00:24:00,821 --> 00:24:02,821 Old lady! 458 00:24:02,823 --> 00:24:04,292 Anyone! 459 00:24:10,296 --> 00:24:11,900 Hey, little fella. 460 00:24:16,036 --> 00:24:18,870 Hey, look, take it easy, mate. 461 00:24:18,872 --> 00:24:20,874 Look, I don't know what you want, but... 462 00:24:32,319 --> 00:24:33,388 Chris? 463 00:25:09,957 --> 00:25:12,393 My fucking nose. 464 00:25:29,944 --> 00:25:31,312 Sorry, Tash. 465 00:25:41,221 --> 00:25:42,323 Fuck! 466 00:26:07,046 --> 00:26:08,348 Fuck! 467 00:26:52,592 --> 00:26:55,226 Boys! Boys! 468 00:26:55,228 --> 00:26:56,864 Stop it now! 469 00:27:09,376 --> 00:27:12,046 Now let's get this stuff cleaned up! 470 00:30:02,749 --> 00:30:05,082 William. 471 00:30:05,084 --> 00:30:09,487 What have you done to my boy? 472 00:30:09,489 --> 00:30:11,191 Don't come any closer. 473 00:30:13,427 --> 00:30:15,663 I mean it! 474 00:30:39,152 --> 00:30:40,752 Charlie! 475 00:30:40,754 --> 00:30:43,388 Dinner time! 476 00:30:56,402 --> 00:31:00,107 Boys! Come and help me clean this mess up! 477 00:31:23,530 --> 00:31:24,632 Hello? 478 00:32:30,697 --> 00:32:34,198 Nice work, boys. Let's get this grub sold, 479 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,601 and then I'm gonna treat us all to a lovely lunch. 480 00:33:10,637 --> 00:33:12,637 Tell you what. I'm glad I'm here. 481 00:33:12,639 --> 00:33:13,871 I'm dying for a leak. 482 00:33:13,873 --> 00:33:16,510 Oh, lovely. Grab the tools, then. 483 00:33:19,746 --> 00:33:22,680 Come on, then. 484 00:33:22,682 --> 00:33:26,219 - What was he crying about? - Oh, mate, leave it. 485 00:33:34,695 --> 00:33:37,329 - Hello! - We at the right house? 486 00:33:37,331 --> 00:33:39,697 Oh, I hope so 'cause there's nothing else around here. 487 00:33:39,699 --> 00:33:41,565 - But where's the van? - What van? 488 00:33:41,567 --> 00:33:43,234 The other work van. 489 00:33:43,236 --> 00:33:45,669 Chris and Tash are supposed to be here already. 490 00:33:45,671 --> 00:33:48,673 Maybe they parked in the back, skiving or something. 491 00:33:48,675 --> 00:33:51,412 Someone better be in. I'm gagging for a piss now. 492 00:33:55,849 --> 00:33:57,648 Look, that's our underlay in there. 493 00:33:57,650 --> 00:33:59,818 Where? 494 00:33:59,820 --> 00:34:02,253 Well, where they gone, then? 495 00:34:02,255 --> 00:34:03,722 Chris! 496 00:34:03,724 --> 00:34:06,023 Tasha! 497 00:34:06,025 --> 00:34:08,396 Come on, let's have a nose around the back. 498 00:34:10,363 --> 00:34:13,967 Malcolm, you stay there. Beep the horn if anyone comes. 499 00:34:23,644 --> 00:34:25,309 Whoa. 500 00:34:25,311 --> 00:34:27,012 I tell you what, mate, 501 00:34:27,014 --> 00:34:29,513 I wouldn't mind a place like this when I'm older. 502 00:34:29,515 --> 00:34:32,450 Yeah, Carol always wanted me to move out to the sticks. 503 00:34:32,452 --> 00:34:34,455 Hey, Col, it's opened, mate. 504 00:34:46,867 --> 00:34:48,733 Hello! 505 00:34:48,735 --> 00:34:50,769 It's the carpet fitters! 506 00:34:50,771 --> 00:34:52,406 Anyone home? 507 00:34:53,874 --> 00:34:55,073 Well, I don't know. 508 00:34:55,075 --> 00:34:56,707 Right, I'm going for a piss. 509 00:34:56,709 --> 00:34:58,343 No, you're bloody not! 510 00:34:58,345 --> 00:35:00,010 Dean! Dean! 511 00:35:00,012 --> 00:35:02,646 Mate, I can't hold it. Two minutes. 512 00:35:02,648 --> 00:35:04,985 That's not very professional! 513 00:37:16,148 --> 00:37:18,017 Oh, finally. 514 00:37:19,718 --> 00:37:21,856 What's the matter with you? 515 00:37:23,756 --> 00:37:24,789 Fingers. 516 00:37:24,791 --> 00:37:26,024 What? 517 00:37:26,026 --> 00:37:28,526 There were some fingers in the toilet. 518 00:37:28,528 --> 00:37:31,762 What you talking about? 519 00:37:31,764 --> 00:37:36,800 I just saw two human fingers floating about willy-nilly. 520 00:37:36,802 --> 00:37:40,637 Not a turd or anything normal. Fingers. 521 00:37:40,639 --> 00:37:42,673 Your eyes are playing tricks on ya. 522 00:37:42,675 --> 00:37:45,609 You need to get some glasses, mate. 523 00:37:45,611 --> 00:37:46,744 What you eating? 524 00:37:46,746 --> 00:37:50,013 Little slice of this pie. 525 00:37:50,015 --> 00:37:52,182 Chicken, I think. 526 00:37:52,184 --> 00:37:54,218 Spit it out. 527 00:37:54,220 --> 00:37:56,120 You just used the toilet without asking. 528 00:37:56,122 --> 00:37:57,655 Hardly think they're gonna notice 529 00:37:57,657 --> 00:38:00,024 a little sliver of pie missing. 530 00:38:00,026 --> 00:38:02,526 There's a nipple in the pie. 531 00:38:02,528 --> 00:38:04,162 A what? 532 00:38:04,164 --> 00:38:08,669 There is a human nipple in the pie. 533 00:39:39,892 --> 00:39:41,160 Hello? 534 00:39:59,211 --> 00:40:01,745 Yeah, yeah, sure, Nige. 535 00:40:01,747 --> 00:40:03,347 Yeah, sure. 536 00:40:03,349 --> 00:40:08,555 Landing, stairs, hallway. Yeah, no worries, mate, yeah. 537 00:40:15,061 --> 00:40:19,030 Well, I can fit that for you on... 538 00:40:19,032 --> 00:40:20,664 on Tuesday. 539 00:40:20,666 --> 00:40:22,700 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 540 00:40:28,807 --> 00:40:31,075 No way. 541 00:40:31,077 --> 00:40:34,245 Bloody hell, Col, there's toes in this as well! 542 00:40:34,247 --> 00:40:37,180 Get me a bloody towel. 543 00:40:37,182 --> 00:40:39,352 Do you reckon you just eat a bit of Chris or something? 544 00:40:52,898 --> 00:40:55,835 Hello? Is someone there? 545 00:40:56,869 --> 00:40:58,369 Malcolm? 546 00:40:58,371 --> 00:41:00,937 Tasha, what the bloody hell you doing down there? 547 00:41:00,939 --> 00:41:04,378 No time. Help me get these doors open now. 548 00:41:07,012 --> 00:41:08,912 This is a wind-up, innit? 549 00:41:08,914 --> 00:41:11,182 What was that? 550 00:41:11,184 --> 00:41:13,017 Just get me the fuck out of here. 551 00:41:13,019 --> 00:41:15,452 All right, all right. 552 00:41:15,454 --> 00:41:18,055 Lads! Lads! 553 00:41:18,057 --> 00:41:19,923 Oh, it won't open! 554 00:41:19,925 --> 00:41:22,061 - Just do something, quick! - All right! 555 00:41:25,030 --> 00:41:26,798 I've got an idea! 556 00:41:30,169 --> 00:41:32,035 I knew that meat was funny. 557 00:41:32,037 --> 00:41:34,338 Now do you believe me about the fingers in the toilet? 558 00:41:34,340 --> 00:41:36,340 What you think is going on? 559 00:41:36,342 --> 00:41:37,977 I don't even want to say it. 560 00:41:51,890 --> 00:41:53,026 Malcolm! 561 00:41:58,997 --> 00:42:01,466 - What are you doing? - Please hurry up! 562 00:42:01,468 --> 00:42:03,434 - Is that someone down there? - Oh, my God! 563 00:42:03,436 --> 00:42:05,503 This is like that Pretzel bloke! 564 00:42:05,505 --> 00:42:07,137 It's Fritzl, you idiot. 565 00:42:07,139 --> 00:42:08,271 It's Tasha! 566 00:42:08,273 --> 00:42:10,941 Get me the fuck out of here. 567 00:42:10,943 --> 00:42:12,012 Give me that! 568 00:42:13,512 --> 00:42:14,781 Come on! 569 00:42:28,794 --> 00:42:30,160 Oh, shit. 570 00:42:30,162 --> 00:42:32,265 Get these fucking doors open now! 571 00:42:35,434 --> 00:42:37,403 - Are you all right? - Tasha! 572 00:42:41,441 --> 00:42:45,475 What is going on?! 573 00:42:45,477 --> 00:42:48,278 - And what the fuck was that? - Let's go! 574 00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:51,017 Yeah! 575 00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,888 - Malcolm! - Oh, shit. Sorry! 576 00:43:00,526 --> 00:43:01,928 Go, go! 577 00:43:10,903 --> 00:43:13,037 - Oh, bollocks! - What now? 578 00:43:13,039 --> 00:43:14,405 You left my toolbox in the kitchen. 579 00:43:14,407 --> 00:43:15,972 Is that really important? 580 00:43:15,974 --> 00:43:18,142 Well, they're my own tools. Expensive. 581 00:43:18,144 --> 00:43:19,876 Carol bought me most of them. 582 00:43:19,878 --> 00:43:22,113 Oh, fair enough, then, mate. Wanna nip in and get them? 583 00:43:22,115 --> 00:43:24,481 We'll just wait out here and see if we get killed or not! 584 00:43:24,483 --> 00:43:27,818 Jesus. I'm gonna buy you a new fucking toolbox. 585 00:43:27,820 --> 00:43:29,586 Can we just get out of here? 586 00:43:31,957 --> 00:43:33,226 Tasha! 587 00:43:38,965 --> 00:43:40,965 Dean, we're in trouble, mate! 588 00:43:43,001 --> 00:43:44,367 What you want to do? 589 00:43:44,369 --> 00:43:46,169 Uh, hide! 590 00:43:46,171 --> 00:43:49,372 They've already seen you, you wolly! 591 00:43:49,374 --> 00:43:50,408 Come on! 592 00:43:50,410 --> 00:43:52,008 Guys? 593 00:43:52,010 --> 00:43:53,412 Is everything all right? 594 00:43:55,081 --> 00:43:57,113 What is going on? 595 00:43:57,115 --> 00:43:59,950 Malcolm, stay in there. He ain't see ya. 596 00:43:59,952 --> 00:44:02,954 - What are we gonna do? - We can make a run for it. 597 00:44:02,956 --> 00:44:04,158 Ready? 598 00:44:10,530 --> 00:44:12,530 Get back, get back! 599 00:44:12,532 --> 00:44:14,066 Get back! 600 00:44:26,512 --> 00:44:28,979 - What's going on? - Shit, and all of them. 601 00:44:28,981 --> 00:44:31,883 Oh, God, now what we gonna do? 602 00:44:31,885 --> 00:44:33,416 The house. 603 00:44:33,418 --> 00:44:35,519 Back in there? 604 00:44:38,423 --> 00:44:41,561 Well, what are you waiting for? 605 00:44:49,235 --> 00:44:51,001 - Now what? - Weapons. 606 00:44:51,003 --> 00:44:53,004 - Weapons? - Have that. 607 00:44:53,006 --> 00:44:55,171 I'm not working now, mate. 608 00:44:55,173 --> 00:44:56,673 Use it to defend yourself with! 609 00:44:56,675 --> 00:44:58,376 We're supposed to fight them off with these? 610 00:44:58,378 --> 00:45:00,111 I don't think we've got much choice, mate. 611 00:45:00,113 --> 00:45:01,114 There's one outside! 612 00:45:10,657 --> 00:45:11,859 Move. 613 00:45:18,164 --> 00:45:20,564 We know you're in there, gentlemen. 614 00:45:20,566 --> 00:45:22,198 What do you want from us? 615 00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:24,635 I would've thought that was obvious by now. 616 00:45:24,637 --> 00:45:28,071 She still want her carpets fitted? 617 00:45:28,073 --> 00:45:30,209 We're intending to have you for dinner. 618 00:45:34,113 --> 00:45:35,249 Move! 619 00:45:50,729 --> 00:45:53,233 - Dean, in here. - Shit. 620 00:45:55,468 --> 00:45:56,633 What are we doing? 621 00:45:56,635 --> 00:45:57,536 Hide. 622 00:46:00,206 --> 00:46:02,976 - And I suggest you do the same! - Brilliant. 623 00:46:54,026 --> 00:46:57,128 Get off me, you fucking asshole! 624 00:46:57,130 --> 00:46:59,329 Whenever you're ready, Col! 625 00:47:02,135 --> 00:47:03,566 Get back! 626 00:47:03,568 --> 00:47:05,104 Get back! Get back! 627 00:47:13,546 --> 00:47:15,115 Come on! 628 00:47:53,552 --> 00:47:55,352 All right, that's it. We're well fucked. 629 00:47:55,354 --> 00:47:57,655 This has got to be the worst job we've been on. 630 00:47:57,657 --> 00:48:00,157 Get your phone out, ring Nigel, let him know what's going on. 631 00:48:00,159 --> 00:48:02,193 Good idea, but it's at home on charge. 632 00:48:02,195 --> 00:48:04,128 - What? - It was dead before I left. 633 00:48:04,130 --> 00:48:06,396 - Where's yours? - Well, I left it in the van. 634 00:48:06,398 --> 00:48:07,798 Oh, great. Good night, carpet fitters. 635 00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,166 - We are dead. - Just calm down, all right? 636 00:48:10,168 --> 00:48:12,538 We'll just stay here, and we'll wait it out. 637 00:48:20,613 --> 00:48:23,414 Hey, Col, look at this stuff. 638 00:48:23,416 --> 00:48:26,816 Bet it's worth a fortune. Where do they get it all from? 639 00:48:26,818 --> 00:48:30,456 I don't know. Let's wait until they come down and ask them. 640 00:48:43,503 --> 00:48:46,169 - As I suspected. - What's that? 641 00:48:46,171 --> 00:48:47,637 These carpets. 642 00:48:47,639 --> 00:48:49,673 Nigel was knocking them out dirt cheap in the shop. 643 00:48:49,675 --> 00:48:53,376 Really? How interesting. 644 00:48:53,378 --> 00:48:55,912 That old bird's been in the shop, you know? 645 00:48:55,914 --> 00:48:57,914 I bet this one's worth a few pounds. 646 00:49:00,485 --> 00:49:01,484 Col? 647 00:49:01,486 --> 00:49:03,255 You all right? 648 00:49:09,262 --> 00:49:12,595 Not really, mate. I just fell through the floor! 649 00:49:12,597 --> 00:49:15,432 Hang on. I'll see if I can find something to get you out. 650 00:49:15,434 --> 00:49:18,769 Let's find the little bastards! 651 00:49:18,771 --> 00:49:20,803 Shit. They're coming. 652 00:49:20,805 --> 00:49:24,274 Well, go on, save yourself. I'm done for. 653 00:49:24,276 --> 00:49:25,675 I ain't leaving ya. 654 00:49:25,677 --> 00:49:28,611 Get to the van. My phone's in there. 655 00:49:28,613 --> 00:49:32,850 Okay, okay. I'll be back, mate, I promise. 656 00:49:32,852 --> 00:49:34,821 Just go! 657 00:49:40,559 --> 00:49:43,896 Somebody's been playing with my toys. 658 00:50:03,816 --> 00:50:05,548 Come on down. 659 00:50:05,550 --> 00:50:08,519 I'd like to see you make a pie out of me! 660 00:50:08,521 --> 00:50:10,553 Silly fool. 661 00:50:10,555 --> 00:50:15,626 I'm not going to eat you, but he might. 662 00:50:15,628 --> 00:50:17,227 Who? 663 00:50:17,229 --> 00:50:20,597 You'll find out. 664 00:50:26,972 --> 00:50:30,874 Oi, come back, you silly cow! 665 00:50:30,876 --> 00:50:32,345 Oi! 666 00:50:48,561 --> 00:50:49,863 Shit. 667 00:50:58,503 --> 00:50:59,838 Col? 668 00:51:00,939 --> 00:51:02,342 Dean? 669 00:51:03,809 --> 00:51:06,410 Listen, guys, don't be mad. 670 00:51:06,412 --> 00:51:08,412 I know you told me to stay in the van, 671 00:51:08,414 --> 00:51:10,780 but it was dark, and it was hot, and it was... 672 00:51:10,782 --> 00:51:12,451 Tasha! 673 00:51:24,963 --> 00:51:26,896 Oh, God. Oh, God. 674 00:51:26,898 --> 00:51:28,534 Okay. 675 00:51:34,907 --> 00:51:36,606 Okay. 676 00:51:36,608 --> 00:51:39,709 All right, mate, calm down. 677 00:51:39,711 --> 00:51:42,379 I get it. You're pissed off 678 00:51:42,381 --> 00:51:44,751 'cause the whole staple in the foot thing. 679 00:52:13,012 --> 00:52:14,510 Shit. 680 00:52:14,512 --> 00:52:17,583 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 681 00:52:20,985 --> 00:52:23,622 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 682 00:52:33,865 --> 00:52:35,901 Don't look at me. You shot him. 683 00:52:54,686 --> 00:52:58,521 You fucking little bastard! 684 00:52:58,523 --> 00:53:01,658 Right! Before we get any more unwanted attention, 685 00:53:01,660 --> 00:53:04,764 dispose of your brother's body, please! 686 00:53:06,731 --> 00:53:08,999 Is she still in there? 687 00:53:09,001 --> 00:53:11,468 Get her in for tomorrow's supper, 688 00:53:11,470 --> 00:53:14,771 and please get rid of that bloody van! 689 00:53:14,773 --> 00:53:18,075 If I have to see that fucking stupid logo one more time, 690 00:53:18,077 --> 00:53:20,814 I'll have all your balls for breakfast! 691 00:53:38,430 --> 00:53:41,432 Oi! Go hide your brother's body first, 692 00:53:41,434 --> 00:53:44,167 then I'll let you have a bite. 693 00:53:44,169 --> 00:53:45,568 Go on! 694 00:53:45,570 --> 00:53:47,873 Get out and get on with it! 695 00:54:39,825 --> 00:54:43,160 Come on to my land, 696 00:54:43,162 --> 00:54:47,064 into my house, 697 00:54:47,066 --> 00:54:52,936 and think that you can kill my boys? 698 00:54:52,938 --> 00:54:56,008 You gob shites don't know who you're messing with. 699 00:55:01,213 --> 00:55:04,680 Oh, for Christ's sake. What now? 700 00:55:43,155 --> 00:55:45,222 You all right, mate? 701 00:55:45,224 --> 00:55:48,026 She trap you down here as well? 702 00:56:08,847 --> 00:56:11,150 Somebody get me the fuck out of here. 703 00:56:16,956 --> 00:56:19,990 What the hell is going on in here? 704 00:56:21,626 --> 00:56:24,294 I take it you've let him get away. 705 00:56:24,296 --> 00:56:27,330 This is ridiculous! 706 00:56:27,332 --> 00:56:30,100 Well? You gonna go and find the little ginger bastard 707 00:56:30,102 --> 00:56:33,035 or hang around me like a wet dog all day, hey? 708 00:56:33,037 --> 00:56:35,608 Or do I have to do everything myself? 709 00:56:39,345 --> 00:56:40,813 No, no, no, no, no. 710 00:57:09,675 --> 00:57:12,175 Have you got through to anyone yet? 711 00:57:12,177 --> 00:57:13,376 Nope. 712 00:57:13,378 --> 00:57:15,077 Have you even tried? 713 00:57:15,079 --> 00:57:17,648 Uh, yes, I've tried both Tash and Chris, 714 00:57:17,650 --> 00:57:18,881 thank you very much. 715 00:57:18,883 --> 00:57:19,918 No answer. 716 00:57:21,653 --> 00:57:23,653 Right. 717 00:57:23,655 --> 00:57:25,657 Give us the phone. I'll give Colin a try. 718 00:57:40,872 --> 00:57:42,705 Hello. 719 00:57:42,707 --> 00:57:43,809 Colin? 720 00:57:44,843 --> 00:57:46,142 Ah... 721 00:57:46,144 --> 00:57:48,614 Hello? 722 00:57:50,215 --> 00:57:53,383 Why doesn't anyone answer their bloody phone? 723 00:57:53,385 --> 00:57:55,017 What happened? 724 00:57:55,019 --> 00:57:56,687 I'm not sure. 725 00:57:56,689 --> 00:58:01,291 Oh, I hope it's not another plumber call out. 726 00:58:01,293 --> 00:58:03,296 Keep trying them, hey? 727 00:58:11,369 --> 00:58:13,805 Yes. Yes! 728 00:58:18,477 --> 00:58:20,947 Yes! Lads! Lads! 729 00:58:27,852 --> 00:58:29,021 Oh, shit. 730 00:58:30,354 --> 00:58:31,657 Shit! 731 00:58:53,746 --> 00:58:58,080 So you can't find the little shite anywhere? 732 00:58:58,082 --> 00:59:01,454 If he's got out, we're ruined, do you know that? 733 00:59:03,454 --> 00:59:06,756 When it gets dark, we'll send Charlie out after him. 734 00:59:06,758 --> 00:59:08,961 Until then, start packing your stuff. 735 00:59:10,262 --> 00:59:11,794 When Harry gets back, 736 00:59:11,796 --> 00:59:14,766 we'll take a little holiday, I think. 737 00:59:30,148 --> 00:59:31,249 Yes. 738 00:59:39,490 --> 00:59:41,490 Come on. 739 00:59:41,492 --> 00:59:43,392 Yes. 740 00:59:44,997 --> 00:59:46,199 Fuck! 741 00:59:47,832 --> 00:59:49,202 Okay. 742 00:59:51,235 --> 00:59:53,403 Emergency. Which service? 743 00:59:53,405 --> 00:59:55,972 Police, ambulance. Anything with flashing lights, yeah? 744 00:59:55,974 --> 00:59:57,506 Sir, I need you to tell me which service you require. 745 00:59:57,508 --> 00:59:59,209 Fire, ambulance, or police. 746 00:59:59,211 --> 01:00:01,178 I need police, but probably an ambulance as well. 747 01:00:01,180 --> 01:00:02,812 Connecting to multiple services. 748 01:00:02,814 --> 01:00:05,148 - Thank God. - What is your location? 749 01:00:05,150 --> 01:00:07,584 I don't know, I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere, mate! 750 01:00:07,586 --> 01:00:08,919 Did you say Norfolk? 751 01:00:08,921 --> 01:00:10,854 No, I don't know where I am. 752 01:00:10,856 --> 01:00:12,888 What is the nature of your call, sir? 753 01:00:12,890 --> 01:00:15,225 I don't know. It's been one of those days, you know? 754 01:00:15,227 --> 01:00:18,061 Please calm down, sir, and explain the best you can. 755 01:00:18,063 --> 01:00:20,095 Okay, right, where to start? 756 01:00:20,097 --> 01:00:23,099 Um, well, I found some fingers in a toilet, 757 01:00:23,101 --> 01:00:24,934 my friend ate a pie that had a nipple in it, 758 01:00:24,936 --> 01:00:26,570 then the cannibals tried to get us, 759 01:00:26,572 --> 01:00:29,573 one of them shot a spear through my friend's cheek, 760 01:00:29,575 --> 01:00:32,408 and my other mate, he fell through the trap door thingy, 761 01:00:32,410 --> 01:00:34,544 and he's still trapped down there. 762 01:00:34,546 --> 01:00:36,546 Is there an adult with you? 763 01:00:36,548 --> 01:00:38,247 I'm an adult. 764 01:00:39,418 --> 01:00:40,919 Hello? 765 01:00:42,588 --> 01:00:43,923 Oh. 766 01:01:38,242 --> 01:01:39,945 Stay back! 767 01:01:51,689 --> 01:01:54,057 I did warn ya! 768 01:02:44,575 --> 01:02:45,608 Please. 769 01:02:45,610 --> 01:02:47,012 I'm done. 770 01:03:10,102 --> 01:03:12,501 Hello. Cupid Carpets. Jade speaking. 771 01:03:12,503 --> 01:03:14,704 - Jade, thank God! It's Dean! - You all right? 772 01:03:14,706 --> 01:03:16,338 Yeah, is your dad there? I ain't got long. 773 01:03:16,340 --> 01:03:19,642 It's been proper boring here today, you know? 774 01:03:19,644 --> 01:03:21,510 Jade, can you just get Nigel, please? 775 01:03:21,512 --> 01:03:23,146 All right, touchy! 776 01:03:23,148 --> 01:03:24,680 You haven't messed another job up, have ya? 777 01:03:24,682 --> 01:03:26,682 'Cause he'll be well pissed. 778 01:03:26,684 --> 01:03:30,220 Here he is now. Dad! 779 01:03:30,222 --> 01:03:32,091 Dean on the phone. 780 01:03:34,726 --> 01:03:37,292 Hello, Dean. 781 01:03:37,294 --> 01:03:39,428 Please tell me it's all going okay. 782 01:03:39,430 --> 01:03:42,231 Nige, it ain't gone quite to plan. 783 01:03:42,233 --> 01:03:43,332 What do you mean? 784 01:03:43,334 --> 01:03:46,102 What have you broke this time? 785 01:03:46,104 --> 01:03:50,106 I swear, Dean, if you and Colin have botched this one up, 786 01:03:50,108 --> 01:03:52,207 you better start looking for somewhere else to work. 787 01:03:52,209 --> 01:03:54,544 No, listen, we are in serious trouble here, yeah? 788 01:03:57,581 --> 01:03:59,249 Listen, Nige, this is gonna die on me. 789 01:03:59,251 --> 01:04:02,718 You got to get help. Get help to the house, yeah? 790 01:04:02,720 --> 01:04:04,055 Hello? 791 01:04:05,523 --> 01:04:07,390 Oh, come on! 792 01:04:09,061 --> 01:04:10,563 He heard me. He must've. 793 01:04:18,070 --> 01:04:20,437 What was all that about? 794 01:04:20,439 --> 01:04:21,504 Not sure. 795 01:04:21,506 --> 01:04:23,573 Reception's terrible. 796 01:04:23,575 --> 01:04:25,608 I'm gonna head over there. 797 01:04:25,610 --> 01:04:28,077 I can't afford this, Jade. 798 01:04:28,079 --> 01:04:30,579 Bloody cowboys, the lot of them. 799 01:04:30,581 --> 01:04:33,716 Have they messed up? Are you sacking them? 800 01:04:33,718 --> 01:04:37,253 I'm not going to sack anyone yet. 801 01:04:37,255 --> 01:04:39,388 Depends what's happened. 802 01:04:39,390 --> 01:04:41,557 I trust I can leave you to lock up? 803 01:04:41,559 --> 01:04:43,660 - Yeah, fine. - All right, well, I'll go over 804 01:04:43,662 --> 01:04:47,463 and see if I can fix whatever mess they've made, then. 805 01:04:47,465 --> 01:04:49,532 You get Natasha on the mobile, 806 01:04:49,534 --> 01:04:52,301 see what's going on and let me know, okay? 807 01:04:52,303 --> 01:04:53,635 Yeah, yeah, no worries. 808 01:04:53,637 --> 01:04:55,775 Right, I'll see you later. 809 01:04:57,275 --> 01:04:59,309 Tell your mother 810 01:04:59,311 --> 01:05:02,048 I'm probably going to be working late. 811 01:05:14,392 --> 01:05:17,359 Guess what, man. I finished early, yeah. 812 01:05:17,361 --> 01:05:19,064 What you doing? 813 01:05:54,633 --> 01:05:56,231 Malcolm, get the fuck in the van! 814 01:05:56,233 --> 01:05:57,834 I think you've just killed someone! 815 01:05:57,836 --> 01:06:00,403 I know. Don't worry. He was a cannibal. 816 01:06:00,405 --> 01:06:03,539 Oh, I kind of feel less guilty now. 817 01:06:03,541 --> 01:06:05,543 - Well, get in! - Okay. 818 01:06:09,648 --> 01:06:11,513 What the hell were you doing out here? 819 01:06:11,515 --> 01:06:14,283 Long story. See what they did to Tash? 820 01:06:14,285 --> 01:06:16,486 - I know, mate, I know. - Have you called anyone? 821 01:06:16,488 --> 01:06:18,655 I got hold of Nigel, and I think he's on his way out. 822 01:06:18,657 --> 01:06:20,689 What a nightmare! 823 01:06:20,691 --> 01:06:24,193 How many are there of these cannibals? 824 01:06:24,195 --> 01:06:26,229 - Malcolm, you're a genius. - Huh? 825 01:06:26,231 --> 01:06:27,629 There was three and the old bag. 826 01:06:27,631 --> 01:06:28,865 Now that one's roadkill, 827 01:06:28,867 --> 01:06:30,200 the fat one fell out the window. 828 01:06:30,202 --> 01:06:31,633 That's who that was. 829 01:06:31,635 --> 01:06:33,803 Which means it's just the big bald fella left. 830 01:06:33,805 --> 01:06:35,671 We can take him. 831 01:06:35,673 --> 01:06:37,941 Why have we got to go back in there? 832 01:06:37,943 --> 01:06:39,211 To get Col. 833 01:07:11,276 --> 01:07:12,878 You! 834 01:07:14,813 --> 01:07:16,414 Going somewhere? 835 01:07:18,983 --> 01:07:20,351 Come on. 836 01:07:21,352 --> 01:07:22,517 Where are we going? 837 01:07:22,519 --> 01:07:23,785 Col's in the basement. 838 01:07:23,787 --> 01:07:24,854 Keep 'em peeled. 839 01:07:24,856 --> 01:07:26,592 Big fella's a sneaky bugger. 840 01:07:31,296 --> 01:07:34,631 Quick, before he uses his giant fish gun! 841 01:07:40,505 --> 01:07:42,972 You know that part where you said we can take him? 842 01:07:42,974 --> 01:07:44,907 - Yeah? - That was a lie, right? 843 01:07:44,909 --> 01:07:46,744 In here! 844 01:07:52,450 --> 01:07:53,983 He seems really angry. 845 01:07:53,985 --> 01:07:56,952 Probably 'cause you just punched his mother in the face. 846 01:07:56,954 --> 01:07:59,321 You think reckon that's upset him? 847 01:07:59,323 --> 01:08:01,260 Do you realize there's another door there, right? 848 01:08:13,972 --> 01:08:16,342 Sorry. 849 01:08:34,392 --> 01:08:35,958 Malcolm! 850 01:08:55,979 --> 01:08:57,383 Please! No! No! 851 01:09:05,823 --> 01:09:06,858 Oi! 852 01:09:09,393 --> 01:09:11,030 Asshole! 853 01:09:41,925 --> 01:09:44,696 I got one! 854 01:09:46,865 --> 01:09:48,965 Oh. Nice one, buddy. 855 01:09:50,602 --> 01:09:51,601 Dean! 856 01:09:51,603 --> 01:09:53,069 Oh, bother! 857 01:09:59,677 --> 01:10:01,847 That old woman is doing my head in. 858 01:10:03,580 --> 01:10:05,383 Let's go get Col. 859 01:10:09,586 --> 01:10:12,390 Dean, what are we even looking for? 860 01:10:14,793 --> 01:10:17,059 That, Malcolm. 861 01:10:17,061 --> 01:10:19,095 And how are we gonna get down there? 862 01:10:19,097 --> 01:10:20,930 I don't know yet. 863 01:10:20,932 --> 01:10:22,998 - Still got your lighter? - Oh, yeah. 864 01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:24,699 I don't have any cigs left, though, so... 865 01:10:24,701 --> 01:10:27,372 No, so we can see what we're doing down there. 866 01:10:49,160 --> 01:10:51,162 You evil bitch! 867 01:10:53,531 --> 01:10:54,566 Malc! 868 01:10:55,967 --> 01:10:58,103 Malc, are you alive, mate? 869 01:10:59,870 --> 01:11:02,640 Malcolm! Malcolm, you there? 870 01:11:04,909 --> 01:11:06,111 Fuck! 871 01:11:13,218 --> 01:11:16,488 Col, you better be alive, mate. 872 01:11:56,628 --> 01:11:57,795 Col. 873 01:11:59,030 --> 01:12:00,566 Colin. 874 01:12:10,207 --> 01:12:12,108 Fuck's sake. 875 01:12:12,110 --> 01:12:13,579 Col! 876 01:12:18,282 --> 01:12:20,017 Come on, you bastard. 877 01:13:00,325 --> 01:13:02,094 You fucking stink. 878 01:13:20,911 --> 01:13:23,048 Dean, now, mate! 879 01:13:42,900 --> 01:13:43,902 Dean! 880 01:14:13,397 --> 01:14:15,166 That's enough! Let's go! 881 01:14:17,367 --> 01:14:19,034 What's the matter? 882 01:14:19,036 --> 01:14:20,735 That looks like a nasty bite, mate. 883 01:14:20,737 --> 01:14:22,337 You think I'm gonna turn into one? 884 01:14:22,339 --> 01:14:24,208 Don't be so stupid! 885 01:14:28,312 --> 01:14:30,881 Come on! Let's go! Let's go! 886 01:14:42,693 --> 01:14:44,095 What the hell? 887 01:14:46,964 --> 01:14:48,800 I'm gonna bloody kill 'em! 888 01:14:52,870 --> 01:14:54,837 Hello! 889 01:14:54,839 --> 01:14:56,073 Dean? 890 01:14:57,107 --> 01:14:58,376 Colin! 891 01:14:59,844 --> 01:15:02,011 Anyone in? 892 01:15:02,013 --> 01:15:04,015 Can anybody hear me? 893 01:15:07,418 --> 01:15:09,254 Mrs. Hanning! 894 01:15:17,327 --> 01:15:19,865 Well, this is all seems a little bit odd. 895 01:15:44,921 --> 01:15:46,387 You find some backup? 896 01:15:46,389 --> 01:15:48,324 - I found Malcolm. - Well, where is he, then? 897 01:15:48,326 --> 01:15:50,228 He didn't make it, mate. 898 01:15:53,930 --> 01:15:55,299 Poor sod. 899 01:15:59,402 --> 01:16:00,838 Over there! 900 01:16:08,446 --> 01:16:09,948 Fucking wedged shut, mate! 901 01:16:11,249 --> 01:16:12,416 This way! 902 01:16:14,451 --> 01:16:15,454 Shit! 903 01:16:18,022 --> 01:16:19,357 Hello? 904 01:16:21,459 --> 01:16:22,894 Dean? 905 01:16:24,128 --> 01:16:25,461 Colin? 906 01:16:25,463 --> 01:16:28,265 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 907 01:16:31,835 --> 01:16:33,968 Hello? 908 01:16:33,970 --> 01:16:36,040 Is anyone down there? 909 01:16:38,142 --> 01:16:39,945 This is useless. 910 01:16:42,446 --> 01:16:45,381 Hi, Colin, it's Nigel. 911 01:16:45,383 --> 01:16:48,818 Can you give me a ring when you get this message, please? 912 01:16:48,820 --> 01:16:51,857 I'm at the house, and there's just... 913 01:17:26,857 --> 01:17:28,990 Here, look, Col, look! 914 01:17:28,992 --> 01:17:30,995 - Yes! - Oh, you beauty. 915 01:17:34,298 --> 01:17:36,297 It's a way out, mate! 916 01:17:36,299 --> 01:17:37,900 Yes! 917 01:17:42,138 --> 01:17:44,172 Shit, Col, I think he's coming! 918 01:17:44,174 --> 01:17:46,378 Go, go, go! 919 01:18:04,461 --> 01:18:05,627 Charlie! 920 01:18:05,629 --> 01:18:08,499 We're leaving! 921 01:18:09,967 --> 01:18:13,071 I suggest you get your arse up here! 922 01:18:25,249 --> 01:18:27,018 Time to go. 923 01:18:44,000 --> 01:18:46,401 - You all right? - Yeah. 924 01:18:46,403 --> 01:18:49,073 I just want to go and see Carol, mate. 925 01:18:53,443 --> 01:18:55,880 You're not Charlie. 926 01:18:57,548 --> 01:18:58,614 What did he say? 927 01:18:58,616 --> 01:19:01,086 Col, look at his shirt. 928 01:19:06,957 --> 01:19:09,227 No, wait! What are you doing? Wait! Wait! 929 01:19:10,527 --> 01:19:12,194 - Hey! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 930 01:19:12,196 --> 01:19:14,462 Easy, lads. Doing all right? 931 01:19:18,134 --> 01:19:21,005 Oh, give us a break, hey? 932 01:19:22,005 --> 01:19:24,405 Easy, lads, easy! 933 01:19:24,407 --> 01:19:27,443 - Okay. - We met your mother. 934 01:19:27,445 --> 01:19:30,014 Col, there's some in there! 935 01:19:33,017 --> 01:19:35,150 Oh, God. 936 01:19:35,152 --> 01:19:38,119 What's he carrying? 937 01:19:38,121 --> 01:19:41,058 Col, there's some behind us! Oh, it's a bloody ax! 938 01:19:42,559 --> 01:19:44,629 What is that? 939 01:19:47,330 --> 01:19:49,700 Oh, Col. Col, Col, Col, Col. 940 01:19:52,702 --> 01:19:55,072 What are we gonna do? 941 01:19:56,173 --> 01:19:58,106 Carpet fitters don't cry! 942 01:20:02,282 --> 01:20:04,078 Subtitles by explosiveskull 943 01:20:04,080 --> 01:20:05,748 ♪ Catching up with my old friends ♪ 944 01:20:05,750 --> 01:20:08,350 ♪ At Uncle Charlie's place ♪ 945 01:20:08,352 --> 01:20:10,651 ♪ My pal says, Al, hey, check it out ♪ 946 01:20:10,653 --> 01:20:12,520 ♪ Look who showed her face ♪ 947 01:20:12,522 --> 01:20:14,390 ♪ We met two years before ♪ 948 01:20:14,392 --> 01:20:17,325 ♪ But all would end in misery ♪ 949 01:20:17,327 --> 01:20:19,494 ♪ Say what you may Fate has a way ♪ 950 01:20:19,496 --> 01:20:21,732 ♪ Some call it destiny ♪ 951 01:20:23,467 --> 01:20:25,234 ♪ How are you And yes, thank you ♪ 952 01:20:25,236 --> 01:20:27,636 ♪ And all the pleasantries ♪ 953 01:20:27,638 --> 01:20:29,738 ♪ Well, it's loud in here Let's go out there ♪ 954 01:20:29,740 --> 01:20:32,306 ♪ And chew our old stories ♪ 955 01:20:32,308 --> 01:20:34,208 ♪ Yeah, I recall the worst of ♪ 956 01:20:34,210 --> 01:20:36,645 ♪ Though our love was bittersweet ♪ 957 01:20:36,647 --> 01:20:39,347 ♪ You're overdue I'm someone new ♪ 958 01:20:39,349 --> 01:20:41,717 ♪ At least that's what I think ♪ 959 01:20:41,719 --> 01:20:46,555 ♪ Sure picked a fine time to come ♪ 960 01:20:46,557 --> 01:20:51,126 ♪ For what was did couldn't be undone ♪ 961 01:20:51,128 --> 01:20:55,564 ♪ Don't walk back in, then turn and run ♪ 962 01:20:55,566 --> 01:20:59,504 ♪ Sure picked a fine time to come ♪ 963 01:21:02,807 --> 01:21:04,806 ♪ Well, I dropped my aspiration ♪ 964 01:21:04,808 --> 01:21:07,443 ♪ And I took a fall from grace ♪ 965 01:21:07,445 --> 01:21:10,078 ♪ I fought for you I know it too ♪ 966 01:21:10,080 --> 01:21:11,779 ♪ Some things never change ♪ 967 01:21:11,781 --> 01:21:16,517 ♪ We've been down this road before ♪ 968 01:21:16,519 --> 01:21:21,422 ♪ But there's light this time I'm sure ♪ 969 01:21:21,424 --> 01:21:23,592 ♪ Yeah, I still got your photographs ♪ 970 01:21:23,594 --> 01:21:27,863 ♪ And every single paragraph you wrote me ♪ 971 01:21:27,865 --> 01:21:31,300 ♪ Just hoping ♪ 972 01:21:31,302 --> 01:21:35,604 ♪ Sure picked a fine time to come ♪ 973 01:21:35,606 --> 01:21:40,275 ♪ For what was did couldn't be undone ♪ 974 01:21:40,277 --> 01:21:44,546 ♪ Don't walk back in, then turn and run ♪ 975 01:21:44,548 --> 01:21:48,620 ♪ Sure picked a fine time to come ♪ 976 01:21:50,687 --> 01:21:55,556 ♪ What the hell are you doing here ♪ 977 01:21:55,558 --> 01:21:59,427 ♪ I'll drift in your atmosphere ♪ 978 01:21:59,429 --> 01:22:02,631 ♪ Just like you to turn up out of the blue ♪ 979 01:22:02,633 --> 01:22:07,235 ♪ When you're missing him ♪ 980 01:22:07,237 --> 01:22:11,606 ♪ Sure picked a fine time to come ♪ 981 01:22:11,608 --> 01:22:16,345 ♪ For what was did couldn't be undone ♪ 982 01:22:16,347 --> 01:22:20,582 ♪ Don't walk back in, then turn and run ♪ 983 01:22:20,584 --> 01:22:24,522 ♪ Sure picked a fine time to come ♪ 984 01:22:27,857 --> 01:22:31,827 ♪ My pal says, Al, don't turn around ♪ 985 01:22:31,829 --> 01:22:36,867 ♪ Let her walk away ♪ 67574

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.