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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,350 --> 00:00:02,553 (UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:01:40,972 --> 00:01:45,972 Subtitles by explosiveskull 3 00:01:47,489 --> 00:01:49,323 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 4 00:01:49,325 --> 00:01:51,791 Today, as promised, I'm gonna share 5 00:01:51,793 --> 00:01:55,061 my zucchini chocolate chip cookie recipe. 6 00:01:55,063 --> 00:01:56,963 But first, many of you have asked me 7 00:01:56,965 --> 00:01:59,332 for an update on the Emily situation. 8 00:01:59,334 --> 00:02:01,969 And for those of you who are new to my vlog, 9 00:02:01,971 --> 00:02:05,739 you should know my best friend, Emily, is missing right now. 10 00:02:05,741 --> 00:02:07,908 She asked me a simple favor, 11 00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:10,211 to pick up her son, Nicky, from school, 12 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:13,013 which was five days ago. 13 00:02:13,015 --> 00:02:14,851 And she hasn't come back yet, so... 14 00:02:15,917 --> 00:02:17,254 (CRYING) 15 00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,790 I'm sorry, we're all really worried, 16 00:02:23,792 --> 00:02:28,929 and I'm doing everything I can to help the police track her down. 17 00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:32,032 But I'm realizing I don't (SNIFFLES) know her as well as I thought I did. 18 00:02:32,034 --> 00:02:33,834 It's like my mom used to say, 19 00:02:33,836 --> 00:02:35,503 God rest her soul. Um... 20 00:02:35,505 --> 00:02:37,538 Secrets are like margarine, 21 00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:40,241 easy to spread, bad for the heart. (SNIFFLES) 22 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:42,009 But as different as we are, 23 00:02:42,011 --> 00:02:44,044 I do consider Emily my best friend. 24 00:02:44,046 --> 00:02:47,080 She is this wonderful, elegant person. 25 00:02:47,082 --> 00:02:49,550 And our sons brought us together, actually. 26 00:02:49,552 --> 00:02:51,885 (THUNDER RUMBLING) Well, for our new friends, 27 00:02:51,887 --> 00:02:53,486 I'll just start from the beginning. 28 00:02:53,488 --> 00:02:56,289 I met Emily a few weeks ago 29 00:02:56,291 --> 00:02:57,290 at school. 30 00:02:57,292 --> 00:02:59,193 It was International Cuisine Day 31 00:02:59,195 --> 00:03:01,027 in my son's first grade class. 32 00:03:01,029 --> 00:03:02,930 And once again, I drew Sweden, 33 00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:05,331 which meant my famous meatless meatballs. 34 00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:06,933 You're all dead! 35 00:03:06,935 --> 00:03:08,868 I killed everyone! 36 00:03:08,870 --> 00:03:11,038 Not me. I came back to life. 37 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,939 - (CAMERA CLICKING) - I want to thank everyone, 38 00:03:12,941 --> 00:03:16,544 who participated in today's feast. Yay! 39 00:03:16,546 --> 00:03:18,278 Class, haven't we learned so much 40 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,046 about food from all around the world? 41 00:03:20,048 --> 00:03:21,282 CHILDREN: Yes! 42 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:23,349 Give your parents a big round of applause. 43 00:03:23,351 --> 00:03:24,985 STEPHANIE: That looks great! 44 00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:26,420 - Big smile! - SONA: Oh, my gosh. 45 00:03:26,422 --> 00:03:28,455 Where does she get all that energy from? 46 00:03:28,457 --> 00:03:29,455 STEPHANIE: What are you looking at? 47 00:03:29,457 --> 00:03:31,525 I think there's crystal meth in those meatballs. 48 00:03:31,527 --> 00:03:33,860 Oh, parents, there's a sign-up sheet on the board 49 00:03:33,862 --> 00:03:36,263 for our Fun Fair next week. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 50 00:03:36,265 --> 00:03:38,465 Uh, please, Stephanie, don't sign up 51 00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:40,166 for more than one job. 52 00:03:40,168 --> 00:03:43,136 I'm not sure everyone else has had a chance to volunteer. 53 00:03:43,138 --> 00:03:44,307 (TOYS CLATTERING) 54 00:03:46,007 --> 00:03:48,041 Miles, sweetie, sweetie, maybe just be careful 55 00:03:48,043 --> 00:03:50,076 with your fingers with Nicky's truck, okay? 56 00:03:50,078 --> 00:03:51,846 Has Nicky's mom volunteered? 57 00:03:51,848 --> 00:03:53,447 Emily? Please. She wouldn't know 58 00:03:53,449 --> 00:03:55,015 a sign-up sheet if it bit her on the ass. 59 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,852 God, it'd be my dream to run PR for Dennis Nylon. 60 00:03:57,854 --> 00:03:59,552 Can you imagine all the free shit she must get? 61 00:03:59,554 --> 00:04:00,420 - DARREN: I know. - Okay, 62 00:04:00,422 --> 00:04:02,088 I'm crossing myself off decorations. 63 00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:03,556 I can leave that open for Emily. 64 00:04:03,558 --> 00:04:04,592 And then if she can't make it, 65 00:04:04,594 --> 00:04:06,460 I can still bring my balloons and helium tank. 66 00:04:06,462 --> 00:04:07,927 Please tell me you don't actually 67 00:04:07,929 --> 00:04:09,896 own a helium tank, Stephanie. 68 00:04:09,898 --> 00:04:12,265 I think lots of people own helium tanks, Stacy. 69 00:04:12,267 --> 00:04:13,933 Because kids love balloons. 70 00:04:13,935 --> 00:04:15,336 Do you not have one? 71 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:18,204 You a bad parent? (CHUCKLES) I'm kidding. 72 00:04:18,206 --> 00:04:19,639 We're terrible parents. 73 00:04:19,641 --> 00:04:22,442 I think it's a perfect plan, Stephanie. 74 00:04:22,444 --> 00:04:25,211 Good thinking, Stephanie. 75 00:04:25,213 --> 00:04:27,081 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 76 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:28,514 Hey, Smooch! 77 00:04:28,516 --> 00:04:31,084 Oh, great work today, Smooch. 78 00:04:31,086 --> 00:04:32,151 Smooch! 79 00:04:32,153 --> 00:04:33,920 - Thanks a lot, Mom. - Oh. 80 00:04:33,922 --> 00:04:35,956 Can me and Miles have a play date today? 81 00:04:35,958 --> 00:04:37,925 Um, I don't know, sweetie. 82 00:04:37,927 --> 00:04:39,192 I think we need to ask your mommy, 83 00:04:39,194 --> 00:04:41,060 and she's still in the city. 84 00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:42,295 She's right there. 85 00:04:42,297 --> 00:04:43,600 (CAR DOOR OPENS) 86 00:04:55,444 --> 00:04:57,414 (WIND HOWLING) 87 00:04:59,348 --> 00:05:01,350 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 88 00:05:06,155 --> 00:05:08,221 Come here, little dude. 89 00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:10,456 Oh, my baby! (KISSES) 90 00:05:10,458 --> 00:05:13,394 Look at your shirt. Did any food make it into your mouth? 91 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,362 Ask her, Nicky, ask her! 92 00:05:15,364 --> 00:05:16,463 Ask me what? 93 00:05:16,465 --> 00:05:17,430 NICKY: We want a play date. 94 00:05:17,432 --> 00:05:19,699 Oh, we can't. Mommy already has a play date 95 00:05:19,701 --> 00:05:22,235 with a symphony of anti-depressants. Let's go. 96 00:05:22,237 --> 00:05:24,338 BOTH: (CHANTING) Play date! Play date! Play date! 97 00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:26,507 Baby, please don't do this. I gotta go. 98 00:05:26,509 --> 00:05:27,942 Come on. I got a ton of work to do. 99 00:05:27,944 --> 00:05:29,410 You don't let me have any fun. 100 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:32,278 That's not true. I let you tear my labia 101 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:34,251 as you exited my body, so you're welcome. 102 00:05:37,485 --> 00:05:39,086 Do you drink? 103 00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:42,221 - I need a martini. - Oh! Uh... 104 00:05:42,223 --> 00:05:45,326 Yeah. I like martinis. I haven't had one in a long time. 105 00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:48,127 They're good, though. Had one that was mostly chocolate. 106 00:05:48,129 --> 00:05:50,331 And I was like, "Alcohol and chocolate!" 107 00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:51,398 (CHUCKLES) Mom life. 108 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:54,535 Oh, okay. No play date. Come on, kid, let's go. 109 00:05:54,537 --> 00:05:56,235 Then I'm staying here. 110 00:05:56,237 --> 00:05:58,605 Christ, he's fucking stubborn. 111 00:05:58,607 --> 00:06:00,975 It doesn't have to have the chocolate in it. 112 00:06:00,977 --> 00:06:04,711 Okay, I don't think I'm gonna win this, so, um... 113 00:06:04,713 --> 00:06:08,182 I mean, do you wanna come over for a beverage of any kind? 114 00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:09,682 I think I could use some backup. 115 00:06:09,684 --> 00:06:11,317 That's me? I'm backup? 116 00:06:11,319 --> 00:06:12,987 Does your kid drink, maybe? 117 00:06:12,989 --> 00:06:15,021 I mean, it's never too early to start teaching them. 118 00:06:15,023 --> 00:06:17,156 I think you're joking, but great. 119 00:06:17,158 --> 00:06:18,624 - Sweetie... - Hey, you, let's go. 120 00:06:18,626 --> 00:06:19,560 Let's get your umbrella out, okay? 121 00:06:19,562 --> 00:06:22,629 Because we're gonna go out in the rain. 122 00:06:22,631 --> 00:06:25,064 STACY: What on Earth are those two gonna talk about? 123 00:06:25,066 --> 00:06:28,435 Emily's gonna eat poor Stephanie alive. 124 00:06:28,437 --> 00:06:30,471 At least she'd be eating something. 125 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:33,208 - (GIRL BABBLING) - What is your problem? 126 00:06:41,216 --> 00:06:43,384 Go show him your room. Go. 127 00:06:43,386 --> 00:06:45,052 STEPHANIE: Oh, please don't run! 128 00:06:45,054 --> 00:06:47,023 Be safe please! 129 00:06:49,258 --> 00:06:50,591 Cute socks. 130 00:06:50,593 --> 00:06:52,358 STEPHANIE: Oh, thanks! 131 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,261 They're from Target. It's 10 bucks a pack. 132 00:06:54,263 --> 00:06:55,728 - So great, Target. - Yeah. 133 00:06:55,730 --> 00:06:56,829 They have other animals. 134 00:06:56,831 --> 00:06:59,735 They have these squirrel ones are cute, chipmunks, 135 00:07:00,636 --> 00:07:01,671 beavers... 136 00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:05,506 That's so lifelike. 137 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:06,706 EMILY: Yeah. 138 00:07:06,708 --> 00:07:08,274 Do you like it? 139 00:07:08,276 --> 00:07:10,512 (STAMMERS) How could you not? It's, um... 140 00:07:10,812 --> 00:07:12,446 Right? 141 00:07:12,448 --> 00:07:14,680 I used to dye my hair. I get bored easily. 142 00:07:14,682 --> 00:07:16,417 STEPHANIE: Yeah. 143 00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:18,252 Did you paint that? 144 00:07:18,254 --> 00:07:21,187 No. No, no. It's made by an almost famous painter 145 00:07:21,189 --> 00:07:22,189 - from the East Village. - (MELLOW FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 146 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:24,358 My life is littered with almost-somebodies. 147 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,259 I did some art modeling in school 148 00:07:26,261 --> 00:07:27,827 to pay my way through. 149 00:07:27,829 --> 00:07:30,230 Then the pervert got obsessed with me. 150 00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:31,632 Oh, well, that happens, yeah. 151 00:07:31,634 --> 00:07:33,067 So I stole the painting, you know, 152 00:07:33,069 --> 00:07:34,468 thinking it'd be worth something someday. 153 00:07:34,470 --> 00:07:37,273 But, no. (CLICKS TONGUE) No such luck. 154 00:07:39,340 --> 00:07:41,307 This house is incredible. 155 00:07:41,309 --> 00:07:42,675 Thanks. It's a fucking money pit. 156 00:07:42,677 --> 00:07:45,646 - Oopsy. - Hmm? 157 00:07:45,648 --> 00:07:49,483 Oh, sorry. It's, um, what we say at my house when someone swears. 158 00:07:49,485 --> 00:07:50,716 It's a force of habit. 159 00:07:50,718 --> 00:07:53,754 We have an oopsy jar in the pantry. 160 00:07:53,756 --> 00:07:55,088 It's like, you know. 161 00:07:55,090 --> 00:07:57,723 Put a quarter in for every bad word. 162 00:07:57,725 --> 00:07:59,560 You should smash the oopsy jar. 163 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:00,660 That might change your life. 164 00:08:00,662 --> 00:08:02,562 Yeah. Ugh. Sorry. 165 00:08:02,564 --> 00:08:03,730 Don't say sorry. 166 00:08:03,732 --> 00:08:05,732 You don't need to do that. You don't need to apologize. 167 00:08:05,734 --> 00:08:07,266 It's a fucked-up female habit. 168 00:08:07,268 --> 00:08:09,269 You don't need to be sorry for anything, ever. 169 00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:11,437 That's true. That's great advice. 170 00:08:11,439 --> 00:08:12,708 Thank you. 171 00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:15,742 I love this music, by the way. 172 00:08:15,744 --> 00:08:17,310 Thanks. Yeah. 173 00:08:17,312 --> 00:08:19,413 Makes me forget I'm stuck in this shithole. 174 00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:20,814 I'm gonna go get booze. 175 00:08:20,816 --> 00:08:22,152 Great! 176 00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:25,655 (FRENCH MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 177 00:08:44,405 --> 00:08:45,407 (GASPS) 178 00:08:47,275 --> 00:08:48,841 (CLEARS THROAT) 179 00:08:48,843 --> 00:08:51,448 I was really caught up in the ambiance. 180 00:08:52,414 --> 00:08:53,580 (LAUGHS) 181 00:08:53,582 --> 00:08:55,418 Come on, give me a little more. 182 00:08:56,352 --> 00:08:58,684 Oh! (LAUGHING) 183 00:08:58,686 --> 00:09:00,921 I liked it. I may join you later. 184 00:09:00,923 --> 00:09:03,690 Oh! You must love cooking in this kitchen! 185 00:09:03,692 --> 00:09:06,659 No, not really. Sean does. 186 00:09:06,661 --> 00:09:09,663 I think it's probably just an excuse to avoid writing. 187 00:09:09,665 --> 00:09:11,264 Your husband's a writer? 188 00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:13,299 No. He wrote a book 10 years ago. 189 00:09:13,301 --> 00:09:14,634 It made him the toast of the town. 190 00:09:14,636 --> 00:09:15,836 I actually had to stalk him 191 00:09:15,838 --> 00:09:17,004 to make him fall in love with me. 192 00:09:17,006 --> 00:09:20,440 But then, nothing. He never wrote anything ever again. 193 00:09:20,442 --> 00:09:22,942 - It's the old bait-and-switch. - What was the book? 194 00:09:22,944 --> 00:09:25,245 It's called Darkness at Dawn. 195 00:09:25,247 --> 00:09:27,614 Oh, my gosh! I read that in my book club! 196 00:09:27,616 --> 00:09:28,916 - Really? - This was... Yeah. 197 00:09:28,918 --> 00:09:30,783 Well, this was back when I first became a single mom, 198 00:09:30,785 --> 00:09:33,253 and I joined this book club, and that was the first book we read. 199 00:09:33,255 --> 00:09:35,188 It's so impressive. 200 00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:36,225 So you're divorced, then? 201 00:09:37,458 --> 00:09:38,494 Widowed. 202 00:09:41,197 --> 00:09:42,699 Do you mind if I ask how he died? 203 00:09:51,839 --> 00:09:53,974 Car accident. 204 00:09:53,976 --> 00:09:56,842 - Oh. How awful. - Yeah. 205 00:09:56,844 --> 00:09:59,446 My brother, Chris, was in the passenger seat, so... 206 00:09:59,448 --> 00:10:01,280 You're kidding. 207 00:10:01,282 --> 00:10:02,515 One fell swoop, and the two 208 00:10:02,517 --> 00:10:04,585 most important men in my life were gone. 209 00:10:04,587 --> 00:10:06,586 Normally, sad stories don't get to me. 210 00:10:06,588 --> 00:10:07,721 But that one... 211 00:10:07,723 --> 00:10:09,255 That one did. That was brutal. 212 00:10:09,257 --> 00:10:10,957 I don't talk about it a lot. 213 00:10:10,959 --> 00:10:12,292 Especially with people I just met. 214 00:10:12,294 --> 00:10:14,661 I'm really sorry. Oh! Mmm... 215 00:10:14,663 --> 00:10:15,928 Baby, if you apologize again, 216 00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:17,563 I'm gonna have to slap the sorry out of you. 217 00:10:17,565 --> 00:10:19,499 Yeah. That's... I'm not sorry. 218 00:10:19,501 --> 00:10:21,268 That's a hard habit to break, though. 219 00:10:21,270 --> 00:10:22,702 It is. 220 00:10:22,704 --> 00:10:24,671 So, are you dating anyone? 221 00:10:24,673 --> 00:10:26,974 No. Slim pickings in Warfield. 222 00:10:26,976 --> 00:10:30,244 Well, you are an hour and a half outside the city. 223 00:10:30,246 --> 00:10:33,513 I'm not gonna date someone from the city. (CHUCKLES) 224 00:10:33,515 --> 00:10:35,414 I tried eHarmony for a while, 225 00:10:35,416 --> 00:10:36,682 and then that mother of three wound up 226 00:10:36,684 --> 00:10:37,884 with her head in the trash can, 227 00:10:37,886 --> 00:10:39,686 you remember that? And I... Ugh. 228 00:10:39,688 --> 00:10:41,654 I said, "No thank you. Delete." 229 00:10:41,656 --> 00:10:43,356 - (LAUGHS) - What? 230 00:10:43,358 --> 00:10:44,490 Come on, baby, 231 00:10:44,492 --> 00:10:47,461 - you're too sexy to give up. - (CHUCKLES) 232 00:10:47,463 --> 00:10:49,562 That's nice. I don't know. Um... 233 00:10:49,564 --> 00:10:51,498 If your head's gonna end up in a trash can, 234 00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:53,366 your head's gonna end up in a trash can. 235 00:10:53,368 --> 00:10:55,936 I just didn't think I would end up a single mom, 236 00:10:55,938 --> 00:10:57,703 struggling to make ends meet. 237 00:10:57,705 --> 00:10:59,438 I mean, my husband had life insurance, 238 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:00,974 thank goodness, but not a lot. 239 00:11:00,976 --> 00:11:02,609 I put half of that away for Miles' college, 240 00:11:02,611 --> 00:11:05,578 and so, with that coming in, 241 00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:08,347 the money still runs out in 2020. 242 00:11:08,349 --> 00:11:09,850 Thank God for his life insurance. 243 00:11:09,852 --> 00:11:10,917 Yeah. 244 00:11:10,919 --> 00:11:11,951 My husband doesn't have anything 245 00:11:11,953 --> 00:11:14,053 if it makes you feel better. But he does spend like 246 00:11:14,055 --> 00:11:15,755 - he's the man of the hour. - (CHUCKLES) 247 00:11:15,757 --> 00:11:17,658 Fucking have to pay for everything. 248 00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:19,592 We can't even sell this house. 249 00:11:19,594 --> 00:11:21,294 We bought it during the bubble. 250 00:11:21,296 --> 00:11:22,962 I love your house. 251 00:11:22,964 --> 00:11:24,965 Don't dream of selling it. 252 00:11:24,967 --> 00:11:29,239 If I were you, I'd just bask in this kitchen all day long! 253 00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:33,407 - Then you should move in. - (CHUCKLES) 254 00:11:33,409 --> 00:11:35,075 Here. Cheers to being house poor. 255 00:11:35,077 --> 00:11:36,679 Yes, cheers! 256 00:11:39,714 --> 00:11:40,716 EMILY: Mmm. What? 257 00:11:41,550 --> 00:11:42,883 STEPHANIE: That's, uh... 258 00:11:42,885 --> 00:11:44,618 It's just another one of my bad decisions. 259 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:46,753 Yeah. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) It's great. 260 00:11:46,755 --> 00:11:47,988 Is that a charity symbol? 261 00:11:47,990 --> 00:11:51,325 Yeah, Mother Teresa and I are, like, the same person, so... 262 00:11:51,327 --> 00:11:53,659 It's a nice contrast with your ring. 263 00:11:53,661 --> 00:11:55,995 Thanks. Yeah, this is a family heirloom. 264 00:11:55,997 --> 00:11:57,596 It belonged to Sean's great-grandmom, 265 00:11:57,598 --> 00:11:58,597 and then his mom, 266 00:11:58,599 --> 00:12:00,567 and she insisted that I have it, so, you know? 267 00:12:00,569 --> 00:12:02,336 SEAN: Whose Subaru is blocking the garage? 268 00:12:02,338 --> 00:12:05,339 - Speak of the devil. - Oh, that's mine. I'm sorry... 269 00:12:05,341 --> 00:12:07,374 - You're what? - Mmm... 270 00:12:07,376 --> 00:12:09,076 Your wife is trying to get me to stop apologizing. 271 00:12:09,078 --> 00:12:12,546 Or maybe you can get her to start. 272 00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:14,715 - Oh! Hi. - Hi. 273 00:12:14,717 --> 00:12:15,948 - Hi. - EMILY: Hi. 274 00:12:15,950 --> 00:12:17,817 Oh, martini time? 275 00:12:17,819 --> 00:12:19,653 I'm sure it's 5:00 somewhere. 276 00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:20,787 Oh, my God, did you just come up 277 00:12:20,789 --> 00:12:21,955 with that cliche by yourself? 278 00:12:21,957 --> 00:12:23,456 He's such a brilliant writer. 279 00:12:23,458 --> 00:12:25,692 I have to say, you inspire me. 280 00:12:25,694 --> 00:12:27,126 EMILY: Not enough, apparently. 281 00:12:27,128 --> 00:12:28,595 SEAN: "Why, thank you very much 282 00:12:28,597 --> 00:12:30,096 "for going to the grocery store," he said, 283 00:12:30,098 --> 00:12:32,832 dripping with sarcasm. 284 00:12:32,834 --> 00:12:34,533 Oh, I figured you'd want a break 285 00:12:34,535 --> 00:12:37,137 - from not writing ever. - (LAUGHS) 286 00:12:37,139 --> 00:12:40,740 With that fatal blow, she won the joust. 287 00:12:40,742 --> 00:12:42,576 - Well played. - Hmm. Thank you. 288 00:12:42,578 --> 00:12:44,144 - This is Stephanie. - Hi, Stephanie. 289 00:12:44,146 --> 00:12:45,912 Her kid goes to Warfield with our kid. 290 00:12:45,914 --> 00:12:47,350 She read your book. 291 00:12:48,483 --> 00:12:49,982 I did. I loved it! 292 00:12:49,984 --> 00:12:51,618 It reminded me of William Thackeray. 293 00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:52,818 She really read it. 294 00:12:52,820 --> 00:12:54,553 Wow, not many people 295 00:12:54,555 --> 00:12:55,922 trot out Thackeray as a reference. 296 00:12:55,924 --> 00:12:58,057 Oh, I was an English major at Barnard. 297 00:12:58,059 --> 00:12:59,458 It was pre-mommy brain. 298 00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:01,027 I did my thesis on the Canterbury Tales. 299 00:13:01,029 --> 00:13:03,062 "And with that word Arcite gan espye, 300 00:13:03,064 --> 00:13:05,398 "whereas this lady roamed to and fro." 301 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,603 "And with that sight, her beauty hurt him so." 302 00:13:10,072 --> 00:13:11,671 I'm sorry, do you guys wanna get a room? 303 00:13:11,673 --> 00:13:13,409 - Am I breaking this up? - (ALL CHUCKLING) 304 00:13:13,775 --> 00:13:14,708 I like that. 305 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:17,043 Hey, do you want me to make you a drink? 306 00:13:17,045 --> 00:13:18,711 No. I'm good. You guys enjoy. 307 00:13:18,713 --> 00:13:20,013 I'm gonna head upstairs for a shower. 308 00:13:20,015 --> 00:13:22,014 Okay. 309 00:13:22,016 --> 00:13:24,083 SEAN: Nice to meet you, Sharon. 310 00:13:24,085 --> 00:13:26,919 Yeah. It's lovely to meet you. 311 00:13:26,921 --> 00:13:28,721 He's terrible with names. 312 00:13:28,723 --> 00:13:31,091 Oh, yeah. I mean, Stephanie's crazy. 313 00:13:31,093 --> 00:13:34,126 Like P-H-what? (CHUCKLES) 314 00:13:34,128 --> 00:13:36,462 You guys are such a cute couple. 315 00:13:36,464 --> 00:13:38,197 Yeah, we're on the verge of bankruptcy, 316 00:13:38,199 --> 00:13:40,533 and we can't find a decent nanny 317 00:13:40,535 --> 00:13:41,871 in all of Connecticut, so... 318 00:13:43,104 --> 00:13:44,437 Drowning. 319 00:13:44,439 --> 00:13:46,105 If you ever need me to pick up Nicky 320 00:13:46,107 --> 00:13:47,706 after school and take him to my house, 321 00:13:47,708 --> 00:13:49,978 even if you just need the night off... 322 00:13:50,779 --> 00:13:52,044 You'd do that for me? 323 00:13:52,046 --> 00:13:53,615 Yeah. Anything. 324 00:13:58,886 --> 00:14:00,088 (CLEARS THROAT) 325 00:14:02,790 --> 00:14:04,191 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 326 00:14:04,193 --> 00:14:06,963 If it's your first visit to the vlog, a hearty welcome. 327 00:14:07,963 --> 00:14:09,929 Today's theme is friendship. 328 00:14:09,931 --> 00:14:12,067 So today, I thought we would make 329 00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:15,701 friendship bracelets! 330 00:14:15,703 --> 00:14:17,236 - (CELL PHONE RINGING) - I have never understood 331 00:14:17,238 --> 00:14:19,472 these silly, hurtful divisions 332 00:14:19,474 --> 00:14:21,707 between working moms and stay-at-home moms. 333 00:14:21,709 --> 00:14:23,143 Honestly, I have found it difficult 334 00:14:23,145 --> 00:14:24,977 to make friends with either. 335 00:14:24,979 --> 00:14:27,614 Emily! Hi, what's up, lady? 336 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,048 EMILY: Hey, I was wondering if I could 337 00:14:29,050 --> 00:14:30,783 take you up on your offer to pick up Nicky. 338 00:14:30,785 --> 00:14:32,786 I'm in a meeting with no end in sight. 339 00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,587 Uh, yeah, I'm happy to help. 340 00:14:34,589 --> 00:14:37,523 Actually, I just got this jumbo set of Perler beads... 341 00:14:37,525 --> 00:14:38,991 EMILY: Yeah, yeah, okay. You're the best. 342 00:14:38,993 --> 00:14:41,927 Okay. Um, just... Does Nicky have any dietary restrictions? 343 00:14:41,929 --> 00:14:45,097 Yeah, just don't feed him shit he doesn't like. Thanks. 344 00:14:45,099 --> 00:14:47,667 Don't feed... Okay. 345 00:14:47,669 --> 00:14:49,572 Oh, my God, she's so funny. 346 00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:53,072 Whoo! 347 00:14:53,074 --> 00:14:55,875 EMILY: No, no, no, Dennis, this is what's gonna happen. 348 00:14:55,877 --> 00:14:57,244 I'm gonna do my job, 349 00:14:57,246 --> 00:14:58,677 you're gonna take some pills, 350 00:14:58,679 --> 00:15:00,813 and then I'm gonna call you later. Okay? 351 00:15:00,815 --> 00:15:02,517 What? Oh, oh, I can't hear you. 352 00:15:03,549 --> 00:15:03,917 I'm in an elevator. 353 00:15:03,919 --> 00:15:05,818 STEPHANIE: I am hungry for flesh! 354 00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:07,022 (CHILDREN PLAYING) 355 00:15:11,126 --> 00:15:14,159 Just Darth Mommy, it's this game... 356 00:15:14,161 --> 00:15:15,562 It's really silly. 357 00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:16,863 Honestly, his dad was much better 358 00:15:16,865 --> 00:15:18,063 at the roughhousing stuff. 359 00:15:18,065 --> 00:15:19,832 - Don't do that. - Do what? 360 00:15:19,834 --> 00:15:21,268 Don't denigrate your good parenting 361 00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:23,135 to comfort me for my shitty parenting. 362 00:15:23,137 --> 00:15:24,904 Oh, gosh, no, Emily, that's... 363 00:15:24,906 --> 00:15:26,105 That's not what I was doing at all. 364 00:15:26,107 --> 00:15:27,606 I think you're a super mom. 365 00:15:27,608 --> 00:15:28,841 Oh, no, you don't. 366 00:15:28,843 --> 00:15:29,909 Come on, your kid had 367 00:15:29,911 --> 00:15:31,211 lobster bisque for lunch the other day. 368 00:15:31,213 --> 00:15:33,013 I'm lucky if I remember my kid's lunch box. 369 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,214 Honestly, it's fine. 370 00:15:34,216 --> 00:15:36,619 The nicest thing I could do for Nicky is blow my brains out. 371 00:15:40,822 --> 00:15:41,955 I'm kidding. 372 00:15:41,957 --> 00:15:43,923 Right. Yeah. Well... 373 00:15:43,925 --> 00:15:47,561 You do work in the city, so... 374 00:15:47,563 --> 00:15:49,732 - Oh, my gosh! - Oh, my gosh! 375 00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,235 (CAMERA CLICKS) 376 00:15:55,237 --> 00:15:57,037 Did you just take my picture? 377 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,605 I'm yearbook mom. 378 00:15:58,607 --> 00:16:00,340 Did I ask you to take my picture? 379 00:16:00,342 --> 00:16:01,508 Erase it. 380 00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:03,976 You look really chic, it's just for "Faces and Places." 381 00:16:03,978 --> 00:16:05,312 Just for the other parents. 382 00:16:05,314 --> 00:16:07,147 Erase it or I'll slap a fucking injunction 383 00:16:07,149 --> 00:16:08,748 on your yearbook, do you understand? 384 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,283 Yeah. Okay. 385 00:16:10,285 --> 00:16:12,085 - (CAMERA BEEPING) - Yeah, it's gone. 386 00:16:12,087 --> 00:16:13,687 Whoa. Bye-bye. 387 00:16:13,689 --> 00:16:15,187 Don't do that again. 388 00:16:15,189 --> 00:16:16,990 Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. 389 00:16:16,992 --> 00:16:20,092 Or, I didn't mean to offend you. 390 00:16:20,094 --> 00:16:21,827 Um... I'm sure that stuff's 391 00:16:21,829 --> 00:16:23,196 really sensitive in your industry. 392 00:16:23,198 --> 00:16:24,831 - (CELL PHONE RINGING) - Oh, no. It's all good. 393 00:16:24,833 --> 00:16:25,966 I guess I'm probably not the kind of person 394 00:16:25,968 --> 00:16:27,067 you're normally friends with. 395 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:30,036 Oh, you do not wanna be friends with me. Trust me. 396 00:16:30,038 --> 00:16:31,270 Dennis, sweetie, 397 00:16:31,272 --> 00:16:32,938 let's try this again. Um... 398 00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:34,341 Okay, I want you to go home 399 00:16:34,343 --> 00:16:35,741 and chill the fuck out 400 00:16:35,743 --> 00:16:37,213 and don't ever call me again. Bye. 401 00:16:38,947 --> 00:16:40,279 That's how you talk to your boss? 402 00:16:40,281 --> 00:16:42,248 Yeah. You know, you gotta go right at 'em. 403 00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:43,649 Especially the powerful ones. 404 00:16:43,651 --> 00:16:45,121 Or they will fuck you in the face. 405 00:16:45,853 --> 00:16:48,153 Yeah, I get that. 406 00:16:48,155 --> 00:16:49,688 Wanna get out of here? 407 00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:51,057 Mommy needs a drink. 408 00:16:51,059 --> 00:16:52,859 - (FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) - Yeah. 409 00:16:52,861 --> 00:16:54,027 Totally. 410 00:16:54,029 --> 00:16:55,298 Nicky! 411 00:16:56,264 --> 00:16:58,197 STEPHANIE: Okay, guys... 412 00:16:58,199 --> 00:17:00,332 I guess we're going. 413 00:17:00,334 --> 00:17:03,036 EMILY: Hey! Nicky, come! Now! 414 00:17:03,038 --> 00:17:05,337 Okay. I have a gift for you. Please close your eyes. 415 00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:06,705 - Mmm-mmm. - Yeah. Hold out 416 00:17:06,707 --> 00:17:07,774 your tattoo hand, please. 417 00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:09,275 This is happening. I'll wait all day. 418 00:17:09,277 --> 00:17:10,813 - Are you propositioning me? - Yes. 419 00:17:12,079 --> 00:17:13,683 Here. I made that for you. 420 00:17:15,282 --> 00:17:16,415 You made this for me? 421 00:17:16,417 --> 00:17:18,917 Thought it would go with that pinstriped suit you have. 422 00:17:18,919 --> 00:17:20,386 Really? That's nice. 423 00:17:20,388 --> 00:17:22,321 No one does stuff like this for me. 424 00:17:22,323 --> 00:17:25,892 I used to watch those Bewitched reruns on TV Land, 425 00:17:25,894 --> 00:17:27,426 and I always thought it was so classy 426 00:17:27,428 --> 00:17:28,827 when Darrin would come from work 427 00:17:28,829 --> 00:17:30,730 and Samantha would fix him a martini. 428 00:17:30,732 --> 00:17:33,298 Every time we do this, I feel so high-tone. 429 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:37,037 - My God, you're such a nerd. - (CHUCKLES WEAKLY) 430 00:17:37,039 --> 00:17:39,305 Ugh. Fuck this. I need a real martini. 431 00:17:39,307 --> 00:17:40,940 - This one's not real? - Nope. 432 00:17:40,942 --> 00:17:42,842 Sean and I had the real thing at Dukes in London. 433 00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:45,144 The key, frozen gin. 434 00:17:45,146 --> 00:17:47,913 And a frozen glass. Here. 435 00:17:47,915 --> 00:17:49,150 Move, bad martini. 436 00:17:49,984 --> 00:17:51,317 Okay. 437 00:17:51,319 --> 00:17:53,252 Little bit of vermouth. 438 00:17:53,254 --> 00:17:56,423 - Swirl it around, dump. - (SPLASHES) 439 00:17:56,425 --> 00:17:58,825 Don't you dare touch that wash cloth. 440 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:01,163 Then add in the gin. 441 00:18:01,797 --> 00:18:03,229 Mmm. 442 00:18:03,231 --> 00:18:04,300 Cut your twist. 443 00:18:06,967 --> 00:18:10,170 Squeeze it, outside out. Get a nice little mist. 444 00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:12,172 Lick the edges. Voila. 445 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,972 And don't add fucking ice. Ever. 446 00:18:13,974 --> 00:18:15,842 We don't like ice anymore? 447 00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,242 That shit ruins everything. 448 00:18:17,244 --> 00:18:18,944 Tough day at work? 449 00:18:18,946 --> 00:18:20,779 I just need to hit the reset button sometimes. 450 00:18:20,781 --> 00:18:22,449 Oh, cheers! 451 00:18:22,451 --> 00:18:24,020 Cheers. 452 00:18:33,294 --> 00:18:34,829 Can you make me one of those? 453 00:18:36,498 --> 00:18:38,198 STEPHANIE: Do I look reset? 454 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,769 Because I feel reset. 455 00:18:41,069 --> 00:18:43,068 - (EMILY CHUCKLES) - You smell good. 456 00:18:43,070 --> 00:18:45,070 What is that perfume? You smell so good. 457 00:18:45,072 --> 00:18:46,873 - I wish I smelled like you. - Thank you. 458 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:49,174 It's one of Dennis'. I could get you one. 459 00:18:49,176 --> 00:18:50,410 I could get you a bathtub full 460 00:18:50,412 --> 00:18:51,478 if you'd like. 461 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:56,316 (STAMMERS) I would love it, girlfriend. 462 00:18:56,318 --> 00:18:57,483 Thank you. (SNIFFS) 463 00:18:57,485 --> 00:19:01,221 I'm really unhappy with myself for taking that picture... 464 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:02,756 Oh, my God, are you still talking about that? 465 00:19:02,758 --> 00:19:04,022 ...without asking, it's so rude. 466 00:19:04,024 --> 00:19:05,892 - Please, stop. Forget it. - Just, like, "Paparazzo." 467 00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:06,926 You are so nice. 468 00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:08,428 I have no idea how you've survived this long. 469 00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:10,797 I'm not as nice as you think so. 470 00:19:10,799 --> 00:19:12,132 Are you baiting me? 471 00:19:12,134 --> 00:19:14,203 No. I'm just saying. 472 00:19:16,203 --> 00:19:18,872 - Everybody has a dark side. - Mmm-hmm. 473 00:19:18,874 --> 00:19:21,106 Some of us are better at hiding it than others. 474 00:19:21,108 --> 00:19:22,875 Wanna trade confessions? 475 00:19:22,877 --> 00:19:24,477 - No, no. No. - (CHUCKLES) Come on. 476 00:19:24,479 --> 00:19:27,046 What's the wildest thing you've ever done? 477 00:19:27,048 --> 00:19:28,917 Oh, no, I don't know, I shouldn't. 478 00:19:29,416 --> 00:19:30,817 You go first. 479 00:19:30,819 --> 00:19:32,088 Okay, um... 480 00:19:33,488 --> 00:19:36,021 Few months ago, Sean and I had his TA over 481 00:19:36,023 --> 00:19:38,828 for dinner, and drinks, and a threesome. 482 00:19:41,029 --> 00:19:42,929 Was Sean jealous of him? 483 00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:44,133 Did I say it was a him? 484 00:19:47,135 --> 00:19:50,369 That's very cool, sis. Very cool. 485 00:19:50,371 --> 00:19:51,837 - You okay? - Yeah! 486 00:19:51,839 --> 00:19:53,205 I don't mean to freak you out. 487 00:19:53,207 --> 00:19:55,942 Hello! I'm not freaked out, maybe you're freaked out. 488 00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:57,109 - Okay. - Because I'm not freaked out. 489 00:19:57,111 --> 00:19:59,179 I'm cool. I'm laissez-faire. 490 00:19:59,181 --> 00:20:01,280 Okay, laissez-faire. (LAUGHS) 491 00:20:01,282 --> 00:20:02,414 I mean, you're not exactly a sexual maverick. 492 00:20:02,416 --> 00:20:03,549 And that's fine. 493 00:20:03,551 --> 00:20:05,221 You know, prudes are people, too. 494 00:20:07,121 --> 00:20:08,523 I wanna know your secret. Tell me. 495 00:20:11,026 --> 00:20:12,962 My dad died when I was a senior in high school. 496 00:20:14,162 --> 00:20:16,162 And 497 00:20:16,164 --> 00:20:17,532 this boy showed up to the funeral. 498 00:20:19,901 --> 00:20:22,067 His name was Chris. 499 00:20:22,069 --> 00:20:24,837 And I guess he was the spitting image 500 00:20:24,839 --> 00:20:26,474 of my father, 30 years younger. 501 00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:33,315 My mom thought she saw a ghost. 502 00:20:34,148 --> 00:20:35,483 (STEPHANIE SNIFFS) 503 00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:40,055 And it turned out he was my half-brother. 504 00:20:42,357 --> 00:20:45,391 That's your whole secret? That your dad had an affair? 505 00:20:45,393 --> 00:20:47,059 No! 506 00:20:47,061 --> 00:20:49,127 Okay, can you just tell me your secret? 507 00:20:49,129 --> 00:20:51,266 Come on, spill it, dark side. 508 00:20:51,966 --> 00:20:54,366 So, Chris... 509 00:20:54,368 --> 00:20:57,269 It was too late for him to drive home, so he stayed over. 510 00:20:57,271 --> 00:20:58,840 We stayed up all night, talking, 511 00:20:59,241 --> 00:21:00,376 and 512 00:21:01,376 --> 00:21:02,976 my dad was... 513 00:21:02,978 --> 00:21:05,377 My dad was really the person who understood me. 514 00:21:05,379 --> 00:21:07,148 And he was gone, so... 515 00:21:08,215 --> 00:21:12,317 I was alone, alone for the first time. 516 00:21:12,319 --> 00:21:15,989 But he sees me, you know? 517 00:21:15,991 --> 00:21:17,326 Like, he really sees me. 518 00:21:19,261 --> 00:21:21,196 And we just stared at each other for the longest time. 519 00:21:22,963 --> 00:21:24,130 You can't be too drunk in my house 520 00:21:24,132 --> 00:21:25,330 not to finish the story. What happened? 521 00:21:25,332 --> 00:21:27,032 Uh, yeah. Uh... (SIGHS) 522 00:21:27,034 --> 00:21:29,102 Okay, so, I don't know, 523 00:21:29,104 --> 00:21:31,371 maybe it's not so racy where you're from, but... 524 00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:33,472 Stop avoiding. Tell me what happened. 525 00:21:33,474 --> 00:21:34,606 STEPHANIE: We stood there 526 00:21:34,608 --> 00:21:36,041 - for the longest time. - EMILY: Uh-huh. 527 00:21:36,043 --> 00:21:38,044 STEPHANIE: So I went in to hug him, 528 00:21:38,046 --> 00:21:39,381 and we kissed. 529 00:21:40,181 --> 00:21:41,617 I know, it's so gross. 530 00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:43,583 - The end? - Yeah. 531 00:21:43,585 --> 00:21:45,050 - You just kissed? - Yeah, we kissed. 532 00:21:45,052 --> 00:21:47,287 You just kissed your brother? 533 00:21:47,289 --> 00:21:49,588 - STEPHANIE: Yeah. It's so... - EMILY: What? 534 00:21:49,590 --> 00:21:50,990 STEPHANIE: Ugh. It's so lurid. 535 00:21:50,992 --> 00:21:52,991 It's my half-brother. It's not my brother. 536 00:21:52,993 --> 00:21:54,192 EMILY: He's your half-brother, though? 537 00:21:54,194 --> 00:21:55,428 - Okay. - STEPHANIE: He's my... 538 00:21:55,430 --> 00:21:56,462 EMILY: Yeah, there's more. 539 00:21:56,464 --> 00:21:57,963 - Mmm-hmm. - No. No, there's not more. 540 00:21:57,965 --> 00:21:59,531 No, no. Yeah, there is. 541 00:21:59,533 --> 00:22:01,601 - So... - You fucked him. 542 00:22:01,603 --> 00:22:03,001 What? 543 00:22:03,003 --> 00:22:04,369 EMILY: Was he good? 544 00:22:04,371 --> 00:22:06,571 STEPHANIE: That is so disgusting. 545 00:22:06,573 --> 00:22:08,574 I don't know... 546 00:22:08,576 --> 00:22:10,676 EMILY: You didn't fuck him? Tell me you didn't fuck him. 547 00:22:10,678 --> 00:22:12,211 STEPHANIE: I don't know what's going on in your... 548 00:22:12,213 --> 00:22:13,313 - EMILY: Swear. - STEPHANIE: I swear. 549 00:22:13,315 --> 00:22:15,117 Swear on your dad's grave. 550 00:22:17,051 --> 00:22:18,286 (STAMMERING) 551 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,236 Oh, my God. 552 00:22:37,105 --> 00:22:38,038 Don't. 553 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,140 - You brotherfucker! (LAUGHS) - No. Don't. 554 00:22:41,142 --> 00:22:42,575 This is good. 555 00:22:42,577 --> 00:22:45,111 Oh, my God! 556 00:22:45,113 --> 00:22:46,980 I've got a brotherfucker taking care of my kid. 557 00:22:46,982 --> 00:22:48,247 I shouldn't have even said anything. 558 00:22:48,249 --> 00:22:50,282 Brotherfucker. 559 00:22:50,284 --> 00:22:53,118 You know what? I don't know. It's these stupid martinis. 560 00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,653 Hey, brotherfucker, do you wanna stay for dinner? 561 00:22:54,655 --> 00:22:55,989 I shouldn't have even said anything. 562 00:22:55,991 --> 00:22:58,057 Yeah, I do wanna stay for dinner. 563 00:22:58,059 --> 00:22:59,157 That would be lovely. 564 00:22:59,159 --> 00:23:00,425 I can't wait to see what you cook. 565 00:23:00,427 --> 00:23:02,095 You know what? 566 00:23:02,097 --> 00:23:04,596 I'm gonna cook you the best meal of your life, 567 00:23:04,598 --> 00:23:06,164 and you're gonna feel really bad 568 00:23:06,166 --> 00:23:07,633 about being so mean right now. 569 00:23:07,635 --> 00:23:09,201 - Brotherfucker! - Ow! 570 00:23:09,203 --> 00:23:10,670 I like you! 571 00:23:10,672 --> 00:23:12,605 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 572 00:23:12,607 --> 00:23:14,473 Today we'll be talking about the perfect first aid kit... 573 00:23:14,475 --> 00:23:16,776 so you're never left in need during a crisis. 574 00:23:16,778 --> 00:23:18,547 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 575 00:23:20,581 --> 00:23:21,681 Hi! 576 00:23:21,683 --> 00:23:22,749 EMILY: Stephanie. Thank God you picked up. 577 00:23:22,751 --> 00:23:24,650 Hey, I just have a little emergency. 578 00:23:24,652 --> 00:23:26,652 Oh, really? That's a coincidence. I was just... 579 00:23:26,654 --> 00:23:28,354 I need your help. 580 00:23:28,356 --> 00:23:29,555 Are you okay? 581 00:23:29,557 --> 00:23:32,557 I'm fine, but I do need just a simple favor. 582 00:23:32,559 --> 00:23:34,026 Can you grab Nicky from school? 583 00:23:34,028 --> 00:23:36,229 Sean's in London, his mother broke her fucking hip, 584 00:23:36,231 --> 00:23:37,663 and I got a big fire to put out at work. 585 00:23:37,665 --> 00:23:39,132 Oh, yeah. Oh, my God! 586 00:23:39,134 --> 00:23:41,103 Poor Sean, poor you. Um... 587 00:23:42,136 --> 00:23:43,635 Anything I can do to help. Yeah. 588 00:23:43,637 --> 00:23:45,203 You're the best. Hey, I gotta run, 589 00:23:45,205 --> 00:23:47,039 but I'll get you back for this, okay? 590 00:23:47,041 --> 00:23:49,107 Of course, Nicky's in good hands. 591 00:23:49,109 --> 00:23:51,544 Hey, Stephanie, you're a good person. 592 00:23:51,546 --> 00:23:52,679 True friend. I mean that. 593 00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:55,718 Don't worry about it. I will talk to you later. Bye. 594 00:23:59,186 --> 00:24:01,186 - (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) - (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 595 00:24:01,188 --> 00:24:02,821 (GASPS) Freeze! Do you know what I see? 596 00:24:02,823 --> 00:24:04,624 I see two boys getting a play date! 597 00:24:04,626 --> 00:24:07,359 BOTH: Yeah! 598 00:24:07,361 --> 00:24:09,561 Stephanie, that's so great you took the nanny job. 599 00:24:09,563 --> 00:24:11,163 - Nanny job? - Yeah, for Emily. 600 00:24:11,165 --> 00:24:12,434 I know she was looking for one. 601 00:24:15,069 --> 00:24:16,836 Well, that... (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) 602 00:24:16,838 --> 00:24:19,739 We're just friends. I'm helping her as a friend. 603 00:24:19,741 --> 00:24:22,240 Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 604 00:24:22,242 --> 00:24:24,242 I didn't realize you guys were so close. 605 00:24:24,244 --> 00:24:26,278 Well, we are! (LAUGHS) 606 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,382 We drink martinis together. Strong ones from London. 607 00:24:29,384 --> 00:24:30,715 Okay, boys, if you don't wrestle in the car, 608 00:24:30,717 --> 00:24:32,117 I'm gonna make you fruit pops! 609 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:34,622 - Let's go, let's go! - BOTH: Yay! 610 00:24:36,523 --> 00:24:39,291 She doesn't know she's working for free. 611 00:24:39,293 --> 00:24:41,763 - (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) - (ALL SINGING ALONG) 612 00:24:44,499 --> 00:24:45,865 ALL: Whoo! 613 00:24:45,867 --> 00:24:48,069 - (TV PLAYING) - (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 614 00:24:57,345 --> 00:24:58,711 This is Emily Nelson, 615 00:24:58,713 --> 00:25:01,146 Director of Public Relations for Dennis Nylon Holdings. 616 00:25:01,148 --> 00:25:02,615 Leave a message or go fuck yourself. 617 00:25:02,617 --> 00:25:06,251 Hey, uh, Em, it's Stephanie. Um... 618 00:25:06,253 --> 00:25:08,721 I know you're probably knee-deep in that crisis. 619 00:25:08,723 --> 00:25:10,655 But Nicky's asking when you're coming to get him, 620 00:25:10,657 --> 00:25:12,791 and I don't know what to say, so... 621 00:25:12,793 --> 00:25:14,292 Just let me know. 622 00:25:14,294 --> 00:25:17,430 And I hope you're hanging in there. Give 'em heck. 623 00:25:17,432 --> 00:25:20,199 Stephanie Smothers. I'm a close friend of hers, 624 00:25:20,201 --> 00:25:21,467 I'm watching her son. 625 00:25:21,469 --> 00:25:23,402 Can you just tell me where she is 626 00:25:23,404 --> 00:25:24,737 and when she might be back? 627 00:25:24,739 --> 00:25:27,640 Yeah, she's in Miami for a few days. 628 00:25:27,642 --> 00:25:29,307 Did you wanna leave a message? 629 00:25:29,309 --> 00:25:31,210 I'm sorry, did you say a few days? 630 00:25:31,212 --> 00:25:32,644 Yeah, can you hold for a second, please? 631 00:25:32,646 --> 00:25:34,713 She didn't say that it was gonna be a few... 632 00:25:34,715 --> 00:25:36,449 - (CELL PHONE BEEPS) - Oh, for the love of Joe. 633 00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:37,517 Oh! 634 00:25:37,519 --> 00:25:40,153 - (LINE RINGING) - SEAN: Yes? 635 00:25:40,155 --> 00:25:42,788 Sean, hi! Um, it's Stephanie. I'm so sorry to bother you. 636 00:25:42,790 --> 00:25:44,257 I got your number from the school directory. 637 00:25:44,259 --> 00:25:45,458 Has something happened to Nicky? 638 00:25:45,460 --> 00:25:48,193 (STAMMERS) No! Uh, Nicky's fine. 639 00:25:48,195 --> 00:25:50,296 Yeah, sorry, he's fine. He's here with me. 640 00:25:50,298 --> 00:25:53,469 Um, Emily, though, asked me to watch him, 641 00:25:55,270 --> 00:25:57,803 and that was two days ago, and I haven't heard from her. 642 00:25:57,805 --> 00:25:59,172 Have you guys been in touch? 643 00:25:59,174 --> 00:26:00,472 Christ, two days? 644 00:26:00,474 --> 00:26:01,508 What'd she tell you? 645 00:26:01,510 --> 00:26:03,808 Um, she said she had to put out a big fire. 646 00:26:03,810 --> 00:26:04,676 And I called her office, 647 00:26:04,678 --> 00:26:06,311 and then they said she was in Miami? 648 00:26:06,313 --> 00:26:07,880 Yeah, that sounds about right. 649 00:26:07,882 --> 00:26:09,382 I mean, I've played through 650 00:26:09,384 --> 00:26:10,849 some of these emergencies before, 651 00:26:10,851 --> 00:26:13,251 and once she knows that Nicky's being taken care of, 652 00:26:13,253 --> 00:26:15,453 she disappears for quite some time. 653 00:26:15,455 --> 00:26:17,690 Oh, fun! Um... 654 00:26:17,692 --> 00:26:18,758 I'm flying back tomorrow. 655 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,193 I'll pick up Nicky as soon as I'm on the ground. 656 00:26:21,195 --> 00:26:22,260 All righty? 657 00:26:22,262 --> 00:26:23,598 All righty. 658 00:26:28,435 --> 00:26:29,669 SEAN: Ah. 659 00:26:29,671 --> 00:26:31,604 Miss Canterbury Tales. 660 00:26:31,606 --> 00:26:33,439 Um, her assistant, Valerie, said that 661 00:26:33,441 --> 00:26:34,707 she couldn't get in touch with her, either. 662 00:26:34,709 --> 00:26:38,577 Which is weird, because it's a work thing, an emergency. 663 00:26:38,579 --> 00:26:40,913 Some of the moms think we should go to the police. 664 00:26:40,915 --> 00:26:41,980 Jesus. 665 00:26:41,982 --> 00:26:43,816 Has it really come to this? 666 00:26:43,818 --> 00:26:45,550 Do you want tea? 667 00:26:45,552 --> 00:26:47,819 You know what? Let's do it. 668 00:26:47,821 --> 00:26:50,522 Not the tea. The police. 669 00:26:50,524 --> 00:26:52,290 - STEPHANIE: Sean? - SEAN: Yeah. 670 00:26:52,292 --> 00:26:53,692 The police are here. 671 00:26:53,694 --> 00:26:54,730 Okay. 672 00:27:01,435 --> 00:27:03,336 OFFICER BLANCO: And when was the last time 673 00:27:03,338 --> 00:27:05,503 either of you heard from her? 674 00:27:05,505 --> 00:27:07,472 STEPHANIE: Three days ago. 675 00:27:07,474 --> 00:27:09,674 I was in London. My mother broke her hip. 676 00:27:09,676 --> 00:27:11,810 - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. - Thank you. 677 00:27:11,812 --> 00:27:13,412 Well, she said it was a work crisis? 678 00:27:13,414 --> 00:27:15,548 Yeah. She has a very high-profile job 679 00:27:15,550 --> 00:27:17,950 and a full staff that she oversees. 680 00:27:17,952 --> 00:27:19,551 Most times when a woman vanishes, 681 00:27:19,553 --> 00:27:20,952 she has a reason. 682 00:27:20,954 --> 00:27:22,654 What are you implying, exactly? 683 00:27:22,656 --> 00:27:24,557 You two didn't have a fight? 684 00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:25,991 Something to make you run off to London? 685 00:27:25,993 --> 00:27:27,626 Are you saying that I broke my mother's hip? 686 00:27:27,628 --> 00:27:29,630 You leave town, your wife takes off. 687 00:27:30,330 --> 00:27:32,464 Maybe there's, um, 688 00:27:32,466 --> 00:27:34,967 a close friend she might be spending some time with. 689 00:27:34,969 --> 00:27:36,902 Excuse me, that's very rude. 690 00:27:36,904 --> 00:27:38,938 He is a dedicated husband and father. 691 00:27:38,940 --> 00:27:40,806 I have seen him with his wife, let me tell you, 692 00:27:40,808 --> 00:27:43,041 they've got more chemistry than a science fair. 693 00:27:43,043 --> 00:27:44,176 Just exploring all avenues, ma'am. 694 00:27:44,178 --> 00:27:46,781 Well, that avenue is a dead end, so you can drop it. 695 00:27:47,682 --> 00:27:49,848 And where's Emily's family? 696 00:27:49,850 --> 00:27:51,483 She doesn't have any. 697 00:27:51,485 --> 00:27:52,585 She was an only child, 698 00:27:52,587 --> 00:27:55,424 and her mother and father died when she was a teenager. 699 00:27:56,456 --> 00:27:58,024 I'm sorry, I didn't know that. 700 00:27:58,026 --> 00:27:59,557 OFFICER: We'll file a missing person's report 701 00:27:59,559 --> 00:28:02,327 and contact you in the next couple of days. 702 00:28:02,329 --> 00:28:03,729 If she doesn't turn up, 703 00:28:03,731 --> 00:28:06,031 we'll contact the local authorities in Miami. 704 00:28:06,033 --> 00:28:08,467 Not planning any more trips, are you, Mr. Townsend? 705 00:28:08,469 --> 00:28:09,535 SEAN: No. 706 00:28:09,537 --> 00:28:11,569 I'm gonna be right here. 707 00:28:11,571 --> 00:28:13,908 I'm gonna be at my house with my son. 708 00:28:14,709 --> 00:28:16,545 We can show ourselves out. 709 00:28:18,546 --> 00:28:21,346 SEAN: God knows we've had our troubles in the past, 710 00:28:21,348 --> 00:28:24,317 but I don't think she'd just up and leave her child. 711 00:28:24,319 --> 00:28:27,553 No, God, she adores Nicky. She wouldn't do that. 712 00:28:27,555 --> 00:28:29,521 She is an enigma, my wife. 713 00:28:29,523 --> 00:28:30,990 That's what drew me to her. 714 00:28:30,992 --> 00:28:32,557 It can also make her impossible. 715 00:28:32,559 --> 00:28:34,492 She can be so fiercely private. 716 00:28:34,494 --> 00:28:35,461 She sure doesn't like 717 00:28:35,463 --> 00:28:36,595 having her picture taken, I'll tell you that. 718 00:28:36,597 --> 00:28:38,830 I remember this one time, she shut down my Facebook 719 00:28:38,832 --> 00:28:40,999 because I posted up a family picture. 720 00:28:41,001 --> 00:28:43,001 Ugh. Social media is so tricky. 721 00:28:43,003 --> 00:28:44,336 I can get to close to her, 722 00:28:44,338 --> 00:28:45,971 I can never quite reach her. 723 00:28:45,973 --> 00:28:48,708 She's like a beautiful ghost. 724 00:28:48,710 --> 00:28:50,542 Never entirely there. 725 00:28:50,544 --> 00:28:51,977 That's so poetic. 726 00:28:51,979 --> 00:28:54,012 That's why you're such a good writer. 727 00:28:54,014 --> 00:28:56,615 I'm not a writer anymore, Stephanie. 728 00:28:56,617 --> 00:28:58,517 I gave all that up just to chase this woman 729 00:28:58,519 --> 00:28:59,521 for the rest of my life. 730 00:29:00,355 --> 00:29:01,721 (SEAN SCOFFS) 731 00:29:01,723 --> 00:29:03,788 I should order a taxi and go home. 732 00:29:03,790 --> 00:29:05,458 Yeah. 733 00:29:05,460 --> 00:29:08,930 Oh, gosh, it's 1:25, they stop driving at 1:00 here. 734 00:29:11,098 --> 00:29:12,932 That couch pulls out, um, 735 00:29:12,934 --> 00:29:14,700 if you wanna stay over. 736 00:29:14,702 --> 00:29:16,535 I know Nicky would love it 737 00:29:16,537 --> 00:29:18,604 if you were here in the morning. 738 00:29:18,606 --> 00:29:19,775 That would be lovely. 739 00:29:21,008 --> 00:29:22,911 (BLENDER WHIRRING) 740 00:29:36,857 --> 00:29:38,691 SEAN: Who wants more B vitamins? 741 00:29:38,693 --> 00:29:39,858 - MILES: Yeah! - NICKY: I do! 742 00:29:39,860 --> 00:29:41,660 SEAN: Yeah? Are they nice? 743 00:29:41,662 --> 00:29:43,695 - Yeah. - Yeah? Delicious? 744 00:29:43,697 --> 00:29:46,132 - Hi. - SEAN: Hey. 745 00:29:46,134 --> 00:29:47,566 Uh, what on Earth are you making? 746 00:29:47,568 --> 00:29:49,835 These are hangover smoothies. 747 00:29:49,837 --> 00:29:51,604 They get it right out of you. 748 00:29:51,606 --> 00:29:53,838 And the kids love them. 749 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:55,441 Little tip, they have a full portion 750 00:29:55,443 --> 00:29:56,575 of vegetables in them, 751 00:29:56,577 --> 00:29:57,576 and they don't even know it. 752 00:29:57,578 --> 00:29:59,612 It's so hard to get kids to eat their vegetables. 753 00:29:59,614 --> 00:30:00,615 SEAN: Right? 754 00:30:01,749 --> 00:30:03,449 Mmm. 755 00:30:03,451 --> 00:30:04,720 Wanna try some? 756 00:30:05,086 --> 00:30:06,421 Great. 757 00:30:12,460 --> 00:30:13,694 Good? 758 00:30:15,061 --> 00:30:16,060 (CHUCKLES) 759 00:30:16,062 --> 00:30:19,698 I think we should get ready for school. (GROANS) 760 00:30:19,700 --> 00:30:21,370 Oh, school, school. 761 00:30:22,103 --> 00:30:23,568 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 762 00:30:23,570 --> 00:30:25,037 Today I'm making a new recipe 763 00:30:25,039 --> 00:30:27,205 I learned for a hangover smoothie. 764 00:30:27,207 --> 00:30:28,207 Uh, it's really nice. 765 00:30:28,209 --> 00:30:30,175 I especially want to thank everybody 766 00:30:30,177 --> 00:30:32,747 who's written in to ask about Emily. 767 00:30:33,780 --> 00:30:35,416 It's been four days now. 768 00:30:36,117 --> 00:30:37,349 So... 769 00:30:37,351 --> 00:30:40,486 The good news is that Sean is home from London, 770 00:30:40,488 --> 00:30:42,724 and he's working very closely with the police. 771 00:30:43,223 --> 00:30:46,624 Um, actually, moms, 772 00:30:46,626 --> 00:30:49,494 I know a lot of you are hung up on the idea 773 00:30:49,496 --> 00:30:51,564 that the husband is always the primary suspect. 774 00:30:51,566 --> 00:30:53,434 I know, I've seen Law and Order. 775 00:30:53,835 --> 00:30:55,099 But, um... 776 00:30:55,101 --> 00:30:57,635 First, I'm here to tell you 777 00:30:57,637 --> 00:31:00,538 Sean was in London when Emily disappeared. 778 00:31:00,540 --> 00:31:02,540 And some of you have suggested 779 00:31:02,542 --> 00:31:05,176 that he did that to set up an alibi, 780 00:31:05,178 --> 00:31:09,815 but he's an amazing husband and an amazing father, so... 781 00:31:09,817 --> 00:31:11,416 The police haven't been much help. 782 00:31:11,418 --> 00:31:13,618 But every mom knows that if you want something done right, 783 00:31:13,620 --> 00:31:15,753 you have to do it yourself. 784 00:31:15,755 --> 00:31:17,522 I will leave no stone unturned. 785 00:31:17,524 --> 00:31:19,224 I think that's what Emily would want. 786 00:31:19,226 --> 00:31:20,594 RECEPTIONIST: Dennis Nylon, please hold. 787 00:31:21,928 --> 00:31:23,697 Dennis Nylon, please hold. 788 00:31:24,831 --> 00:31:25,897 Thanks for holding. 789 00:31:25,899 --> 00:31:27,732 How may I direct your call? 790 00:31:27,734 --> 00:31:28,834 Hi, my name is Stephanie... 791 00:31:28,836 --> 00:31:30,502 Dennis Nylon, please hold. 792 00:31:30,504 --> 00:31:32,203 My friend works here. She's been missing... 793 00:31:32,205 --> 00:31:34,173 Thanks for holding. How may I direct your call? 794 00:31:34,175 --> 00:31:36,107 I tried to call her assistant. 795 00:31:36,109 --> 00:31:38,277 - Dennis Nylon, please hold. - Valerie. 796 00:31:38,279 --> 00:31:39,345 She wasn't super helpful. 797 00:31:39,347 --> 00:31:40,913 Thanks for holding. How may I direct your call? 798 00:31:40,915 --> 00:31:42,114 I can't tell if you're talking to me. 799 00:31:42,116 --> 00:31:43,518 You're looking right at me. 800 00:31:44,549 --> 00:31:45,617 - Dennis Nylon, please hold. - Okay. 801 00:31:45,619 --> 00:31:47,619 Thanks for holding. How may I direct your call? 802 00:31:47,621 --> 00:31:48,953 Her name is Emily Nelson. 803 00:31:48,955 --> 00:31:50,689 She's the head of the PR department. 804 00:31:50,691 --> 00:31:52,024 Emily's not in today. 805 00:31:52,026 --> 00:31:53,692 I know she's not in. 806 00:31:53,694 --> 00:31:55,961 - Dennis Nylon, please hold. - Okay. 807 00:31:55,963 --> 00:31:57,829 Just gonna... 808 00:31:57,831 --> 00:32:00,298 Sorry. No, I am not sorry. 809 00:32:00,300 --> 00:32:04,002 I need to speak to Dennis Nylon, please? 810 00:32:04,004 --> 00:32:05,671 A woman's missing, so... 811 00:32:05,673 --> 00:32:07,772 Mr. Nylon's not here right now. 812 00:32:07,774 --> 00:32:08,907 Great, I'll wait. 813 00:32:08,909 --> 00:32:10,077 Knock yourself out. 814 00:32:10,978 --> 00:32:12,113 Okay. 815 00:32:28,229 --> 00:32:31,063 RECEPTIONIST: Dennis Nylon, please hold. 816 00:32:31,065 --> 00:32:32,330 Um, Mr. Nylon? 817 00:32:32,332 --> 00:32:34,199 We don't accept unsolicited resumes. 818 00:32:34,201 --> 00:32:35,733 Cool, that's not why I'm here. 819 00:32:35,735 --> 00:32:36,835 Um, we have a problem. 820 00:32:36,837 --> 00:32:38,636 We most certainly do. 821 00:32:38,638 --> 00:32:39,971 A friend of mine works in your publicity department... 822 00:32:39,973 --> 00:32:41,542 Is that a vintage Hermes scarf? 823 00:32:42,242 --> 00:32:43,709 My Aunt Frieda gave it to me. 824 00:32:43,711 --> 00:32:45,176 Did she want you to hang yourself with it? 825 00:32:45,178 --> 00:32:46,778 Look at that knot, Jesus fucking Christ! 826 00:32:46,780 --> 00:32:48,681 I'm here about Emily Nelson. 827 00:32:48,683 --> 00:32:50,348 What about Emily? What happened? 828 00:32:50,350 --> 00:32:52,684 She asked me to pick up her son four days ago 829 00:32:52,686 --> 00:32:54,019 because she went to Miami. 830 00:32:54,021 --> 00:32:55,854 She's still not back. No texts, no calls, 831 00:32:55,856 --> 00:32:57,122 and no one in your office seems to give a crap. 832 00:32:57,124 --> 00:32:58,126 Excuse my language. 833 00:32:59,594 --> 00:33:01,226 - Kiko. - Hmm? 834 00:33:01,228 --> 00:33:02,928 Why did Emily go to Miami? 835 00:33:02,930 --> 00:33:04,299 I didn't know she did. 836 00:33:06,232 --> 00:33:08,232 We in this office have learned that 837 00:33:08,234 --> 00:33:09,934 when Emily elects not to tell us something, 838 00:33:09,936 --> 00:33:11,336 it's best not to ask. 839 00:33:11,338 --> 00:33:12,805 Doesn't she work for you? 840 00:33:12,807 --> 00:33:15,106 Emily's job is to stop the apocalypse 841 00:33:15,108 --> 00:33:16,976 without worrying any of the designers. 842 00:33:16,978 --> 00:33:18,309 And she always finds a way 843 00:33:18,311 --> 00:33:19,845 to look fabulous when she does it. 844 00:33:19,847 --> 00:33:21,145 That's great! 845 00:33:21,147 --> 00:33:23,382 What do you suggest that I do? 846 00:33:23,384 --> 00:33:25,817 Never wear a vintage Hermes scarf with a Gap T-shirt. 847 00:33:25,819 --> 00:33:27,987 If you were truly Emily's friend, you would know that. 848 00:33:27,989 --> 00:33:30,058 Excuse me, I have a very busy day. 849 00:33:32,193 --> 00:33:33,692 Valerie, my office. 850 00:33:33,694 --> 00:33:34,695 Now! 851 00:33:49,844 --> 00:33:51,809 Hi. 852 00:33:51,811 --> 00:33:53,848 DENNIS: Sit, sit, sit! Emily! I want answers. 853 00:33:54,882 --> 00:33:57,218 MAN: Steven, you forgot the shirts. 854 00:34:07,928 --> 00:34:10,294 WOMAN: No, I can't help you with that. 855 00:34:10,296 --> 00:34:11,729 Of course he's freaking out. 856 00:34:11,731 --> 00:34:14,133 He needs someone to manage this now. 857 00:34:14,135 --> 00:34:15,303 I don't know. 858 00:34:26,781 --> 00:34:27,983 Mother fudger. 859 00:34:46,267 --> 00:34:48,336 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 860 00:34:59,412 --> 00:35:00,845 Well, if it isn't Aunt Frieda's 861 00:35:00,847 --> 00:35:01,979 least favorite niece. 862 00:35:01,981 --> 00:35:03,314 What were you doing up there? 863 00:35:03,316 --> 00:35:04,783 Corporate spying? 864 00:35:04,785 --> 00:35:06,221 Or just a common garden shoplifter? 865 00:35:07,455 --> 00:35:09,321 Yeah, you gotta go right at them. 866 00:35:09,323 --> 00:35:10,756 Especially the powerful ones. 867 00:35:10,758 --> 00:35:12,359 Or they will fuck you in the face. 868 00:35:13,461 --> 00:35:14,993 Listen, you bargain basement Tom Ford, 869 00:35:14,995 --> 00:35:16,227 if you don't have this Ken doll 870 00:35:16,229 --> 00:35:17,296 unhand me this second, 871 00:35:17,298 --> 00:35:19,263 I will tell the thousands of moms that watch my vlog 872 00:35:19,265 --> 00:35:21,500 that Dennis Nylon is a bully who victimizes women. 873 00:35:21,502 --> 00:35:23,234 And that they should stop buying your tacky blouses 874 00:35:23,236 --> 00:35:24,470 made by Indonesian children. 875 00:35:24,472 --> 00:35:26,908 Because if you lose moms, you lose business. 876 00:35:29,910 --> 00:35:31,042 Okay, number one, 877 00:35:31,044 --> 00:35:32,377 they are not Indonesian children, 878 00:35:32,379 --> 00:35:34,078 they are Vietnamese teenagers. 879 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:37,182 Number two, Tom Ford wishes he were me. 880 00:35:37,184 --> 00:35:40,254 And number three, if I'm tacky, 881 00:35:41,187 --> 00:35:42,256 okay? 882 00:35:42,856 --> 00:35:44,089 You're... 883 00:35:44,091 --> 00:35:45,260 This has been fun. 884 00:35:46,327 --> 00:35:48,363 Better pray I don't have a bruise. 885 00:35:50,296 --> 00:35:52,466 - (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) - (DOOR CLOSES) 886 00:35:59,173 --> 00:36:00,975 No wonder she doesn't like having her picture taken. 887 00:36:07,414 --> 00:36:09,180 DARREN: Look at our little Stephanie. 888 00:36:09,182 --> 00:36:11,283 Comforting the worried husband. 889 00:36:11,285 --> 00:36:12,350 Oh, please. 890 00:36:12,352 --> 00:36:14,886 It's an arts and crafts project. 891 00:36:14,888 --> 00:36:17,555 I've never seen her pass up a chance to use a stapler. 892 00:36:17,557 --> 00:36:19,558 Emily's gonna hate those flyers 893 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,292 when she gets back. 894 00:36:21,294 --> 00:36:23,764 She's not coming back. (SIGHS) 895 00:36:24,865 --> 00:36:26,265 Don't you watch Dateline? 896 00:36:26,267 --> 00:36:28,736 If the case isn't solved in the first 72 hours, 897 00:36:29,502 --> 00:36:31,405 they're always dead. 898 00:36:32,006 --> 00:36:33,138 Oh, yeah. 899 00:36:33,140 --> 00:36:34,906 (ROMANTIC FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 900 00:36:34,908 --> 00:36:36,073 Oh, perfect timing! 901 00:36:36,075 --> 00:36:37,142 Dinner's ready. 902 00:36:37,144 --> 00:36:38,243 The boys are upstairs. 903 00:36:38,245 --> 00:36:40,044 I'm just gonna have them wash their hands 904 00:36:40,046 --> 00:36:41,148 and come down. 905 00:36:41,915 --> 00:36:43,182 Um... 906 00:36:43,184 --> 00:36:44,850 - Are you okay? - (EXHALES) 907 00:36:44,852 --> 00:36:46,919 I've just never experienced anything like this. 908 00:36:46,921 --> 00:36:49,354 Walking into a fully set dinner table. 909 00:36:49,356 --> 00:36:52,825 Yeah, (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) this is weird. 910 00:36:52,827 --> 00:36:55,026 - I'm being... - No, no, no! Not at all. 911 00:36:55,028 --> 00:36:56,828 I think anything stable these days 912 00:36:56,830 --> 00:36:58,462 is like a gift from heaven, right? 913 00:36:58,464 --> 00:37:00,098 I should tidy up first, though. 914 00:37:00,100 --> 00:37:02,804 - (DOORBELL RINGS) - (SIGHS) 915 00:37:04,537 --> 00:37:05,837 - SUMMERVILLE: Hey. - SEAN: Hello. 916 00:37:05,839 --> 00:37:06,839 - SUMMERVILLE: Mr. Townsend? - Ah, yes. 917 00:37:06,841 --> 00:37:08,272 Detective Summerville. We spoke on the phone. 918 00:37:08,274 --> 00:37:09,607 SEAN: That's right. Um... 919 00:37:09,609 --> 00:37:11,843 Stephanie, can you help the boys with their homework? 920 00:37:11,845 --> 00:37:13,511 Of course. 921 00:37:13,513 --> 00:37:15,379 - Come in. Sorry. - Thank you. 922 00:37:15,381 --> 00:37:18,819 Just a pre-dinner snack. 923 00:37:20,220 --> 00:37:21,154 That's a cute nanny. 924 00:37:21,156 --> 00:37:24,156 No, no. That's one of my wife's friends. 925 00:37:24,158 --> 00:37:25,527 She's been helping me out. 926 00:37:27,093 --> 00:37:29,493 Oh, shit. Can she come help out around my house, too? 927 00:37:29,495 --> 00:37:30,798 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 928 00:37:32,932 --> 00:37:34,232 SUMMERVILLE: The passenger manifest says 929 00:37:34,234 --> 00:37:36,234 she wasn't on any flights to Miami. 930 00:37:36,236 --> 00:37:38,537 But she did rent a white Kia from Budget. 931 00:37:38,539 --> 00:37:40,305 She paid in cash for a two-day rental. 932 00:37:40,307 --> 00:37:42,274 Now, when people pay in cash, 933 00:37:42,276 --> 00:37:44,008 it usually means one thing. 934 00:37:44,010 --> 00:37:46,111 What are you saying? She's having an affair? 935 00:37:46,113 --> 00:37:47,546 I can't say that with any confidence. 936 00:37:47,548 --> 00:37:49,281 SEAN: Can you not track the Kia? 937 00:37:49,283 --> 00:37:50,948 SUMMERVILLE: I have toll booth reports coming in 938 00:37:50,950 --> 00:37:52,149 from across the country, 939 00:37:52,151 --> 00:37:54,019 assuming she's not swapping out plates. 940 00:37:54,021 --> 00:37:55,520 I wanna get a description of your wife to 941 00:37:55,522 --> 00:37:58,522 every precinct in the tri-state area, okay? 942 00:37:58,524 --> 00:38:00,591 Did she have any distinguishing features? 943 00:38:00,593 --> 00:38:02,895 Any birthmarks, tattoos? 944 00:38:02,897 --> 00:38:04,062 She's got a tattoo on her left wrist. 945 00:38:04,064 --> 00:38:05,129 Oh, great. 946 00:38:05,131 --> 00:38:08,133 It's flames and a charity symbol in the middle. 947 00:38:08,135 --> 00:38:10,102 - (CHUCKLES) - Really? 948 00:38:10,104 --> 00:38:11,236 More judgment from you? 949 00:38:11,238 --> 00:38:12,404 Nope. No, no, no. 950 00:38:12,406 --> 00:38:13,671 But she did things like that. 951 00:38:13,673 --> 00:38:15,973 Impulsive, crazy things. 952 00:38:15,975 --> 00:38:17,542 SUMMERVILLE: I'm gonna go call this in. 953 00:38:17,544 --> 00:38:19,080 Tell your wife's friend I said goodbye. 954 00:38:22,149 --> 00:38:23,214 SEAN: You're a saint. 955 00:38:23,216 --> 00:38:24,649 You don't have to do that. 956 00:38:24,651 --> 00:38:27,118 I'm not a saint. I just like to keep my hands busy. 957 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,087 Um... I should go. 958 00:38:29,089 --> 00:38:30,689 It's Flags of the World day on Monday. 959 00:38:30,691 --> 00:38:32,393 I haven't even started on South America. 960 00:38:35,396 --> 00:38:37,162 Sorry. 961 00:38:37,164 --> 00:38:40,031 No, I don't mean sorry. I mean thank you. 962 00:38:40,033 --> 00:38:41,933 Thank you for being such a good friend. 963 00:38:41,935 --> 00:38:42,968 Of course. 964 00:38:42,970 --> 00:38:45,437 I'm a problem-solver, I just wish I could do more. 965 00:38:45,439 --> 00:38:46,875 You're doing plenty. 966 00:38:55,348 --> 00:38:57,015 So, that's where we are today. 967 00:38:57,017 --> 00:38:58,283 And we are keeping our heads up 968 00:38:58,285 --> 00:39:00,017 and not jumping to any conclusions. 969 00:39:00,019 --> 00:39:01,386 We are soldiering on 970 00:39:01,388 --> 00:39:03,522 with cookies and origami. 971 00:39:03,524 --> 00:39:06,091 But for you moms who want to help, 972 00:39:06,093 --> 00:39:08,259 we know that Emily was driving a white Kia 973 00:39:08,261 --> 00:39:10,095 that she rented from a Budget 974 00:39:10,097 --> 00:39:12,698 at La Guardia Airport on the 24th. 975 00:39:12,700 --> 00:39:14,165 And I did a little digging, 976 00:39:14,167 --> 00:39:16,370 so, um, the license plate is... 977 00:39:17,203 --> 00:39:18,573 (MESSAGE NOTIFICATION CHIMES) 978 00:39:22,977 --> 00:39:24,042 VIEWER: Dear Stephanie, 979 00:39:24,044 --> 00:39:24,977 I'm writing from Standish, Michigan, 980 00:39:24,979 --> 00:39:26,011 with a possible Emily sighting. 981 00:39:26,013 --> 00:39:28,980 I was driving down I-75 two days ago, 982 00:39:28,982 --> 00:39:31,249 when I saw a woman gassing up a white Kia. 983 00:39:31,251 --> 00:39:32,383 She was really pretty, 984 00:39:32,385 --> 00:39:33,718 and I remember thinking she didn't look like 985 00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:35,120 she was from around here. 986 00:39:35,122 --> 00:39:36,156 I hope this helps. 987 00:39:37,691 --> 00:39:39,991 STEPHANIE: So, um, Summerville sent the info 988 00:39:39,993 --> 00:39:41,392 to the local authorities in Michigan. 989 00:39:41,394 --> 00:39:44,162 Did she ever mention Michigan? Did she have a friend there? 990 00:39:44,164 --> 00:39:47,165 As far as I knew, she didn't have any real friends. 991 00:39:47,167 --> 00:39:48,533 - Not before you. - Oh. 992 00:39:48,535 --> 00:39:49,700 How is that possible? 993 00:39:49,702 --> 00:39:51,038 (RINGING) 994 00:39:54,207 --> 00:39:56,077 Hello. Please tell me you found her. 995 00:39:56,709 --> 00:39:57,945 A lake? 996 00:39:59,213 --> 00:40:00,682 (STAMMERS) Well, I don't know. 997 00:40:02,249 --> 00:40:04,082 Okay, I'm heading there now. 998 00:40:04,084 --> 00:40:06,350 They found the rental car in Michigan. 999 00:40:06,352 --> 00:40:07,218 Look, I'm gonna have to go 1000 00:40:07,220 --> 00:40:09,321 because otherwise I'm going to go crazy. 1001 00:40:09,323 --> 00:40:11,059 - Can you do me a favor? - Yes, it's done. Go. 1002 00:40:12,626 --> 00:40:14,593 Hi, moms. Stephanie here. 1003 00:40:14,595 --> 00:40:17,696 I can see we have a flood of new viewers today. 1004 00:40:17,698 --> 00:40:20,631 And if you're new to the vlog, I'm sorry. 1005 00:40:20,633 --> 00:40:22,767 This probably isn't the best entry to start with. 1006 00:40:22,769 --> 00:40:25,803 For those of you who have been following my vlog this week, 1007 00:40:25,805 --> 00:40:28,673 you know that my best friend, Emily, went missing. 1008 00:40:28,675 --> 00:40:32,711 So many of you wrote in with your helpful tips and ideas. 1009 00:40:32,713 --> 00:40:36,615 I wanna give a special thanks to Leanne Lippens 1010 00:40:36,617 --> 00:40:40,053 whose helpful tip made a major break in the case. 1011 00:40:41,789 --> 00:40:43,658 I have some somber news. 1012 00:40:46,292 --> 00:40:47,761 (VOICE BREAKING) Emily was found. 1013 00:40:51,298 --> 00:40:53,066 Not alive, I'm afraid. 1014 00:40:54,801 --> 00:40:57,204 My friend, Emily Nelson, 1015 00:40:58,805 --> 00:41:00,008 is dead. 1016 00:41:14,687 --> 00:41:17,089 PRIEST: Our Father, we look to you again, 1017 00:41:17,091 --> 00:41:19,290 facing this moment of our need. 1018 00:41:19,292 --> 00:41:22,560 In our sorrow, grief and loneliness 1019 00:41:22,562 --> 00:41:24,595 draw us up to yourself 1020 00:41:24,597 --> 00:41:27,665 that we may know the comfort of the everlasting arms. 1021 00:41:27,667 --> 00:41:29,633 Especially support and comfort those 1022 00:41:29,635 --> 00:41:32,803 who have been closest to our departed sister. 1023 00:41:32,805 --> 00:41:34,506 Sustain them in the blessed assurance 1024 00:41:34,508 --> 00:41:36,241 that death is conquered, 1025 00:41:36,243 --> 00:41:37,575 the new life is begun. 1026 00:41:37,577 --> 00:41:39,511 To be absent from the body 1027 00:41:39,513 --> 00:41:41,312 is to be present with the Lord. 1028 00:41:41,314 --> 00:41:43,281 May we be assured in the hope 1029 00:41:43,283 --> 00:41:44,649 that we shall walk together again 1030 00:41:44,651 --> 00:41:46,750 in your blessed presence. 1031 00:41:46,752 --> 00:41:49,120 Help us to number our days 1032 00:41:49,122 --> 00:41:51,458 that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. 1033 00:41:52,359 --> 00:41:53,591 In the name of the Father, 1034 00:41:53,593 --> 00:41:55,229 and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. 1035 00:41:55,796 --> 00:41:56,798 Amen. 1036 00:42:04,338 --> 00:42:05,403 Hi. 1037 00:42:05,405 --> 00:42:06,406 Oh, hi. 1038 00:42:07,774 --> 00:42:09,508 Are those, um... 1039 00:42:09,510 --> 00:42:11,375 Oh, yeah, yeah, they are. 1040 00:42:11,377 --> 00:42:14,145 They're from your last-minute brownie entry. 1041 00:42:14,147 --> 00:42:16,480 I can't believe you watch my vlog. 1042 00:42:16,482 --> 00:42:17,848 (STAMMERS) To be honest, 1043 00:42:17,850 --> 00:42:19,283 when we first started watching it, 1044 00:42:19,285 --> 00:42:20,718 we were just making fun of you. 1045 00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:22,419 But, um... 1046 00:42:22,421 --> 00:42:24,622 But then, you had some really helpful hints in there. 1047 00:42:24,624 --> 00:42:26,625 Especially when Lulu got that rash, 1048 00:42:26,627 --> 00:42:28,593 apple cider vinegar was great. 1049 00:42:28,595 --> 00:42:30,194 Oh, well, great! That's... 1050 00:42:30,196 --> 00:42:31,198 Yeah. (CHUCKLES) 1051 00:42:33,432 --> 00:42:34,533 You're a real saint 1052 00:42:34,535 --> 00:42:35,799 to help her family out like this. 1053 00:42:35,801 --> 00:42:37,067 I'm not a saint. 1054 00:42:37,069 --> 00:42:39,770 Emily was my friend, and she'd do the same for me, so... 1055 00:42:39,772 --> 00:42:41,406 If you or Sean need me 1056 00:42:41,408 --> 00:42:44,276 to watch Miles or Nicky anytime, it's nothing. 1057 00:42:44,278 --> 00:42:46,711 That's so sweet, Sona. Thank you. 1058 00:42:46,713 --> 00:42:49,781 It's the least she could do, she didn't even bake anything. 1059 00:42:49,783 --> 00:42:51,118 - Yeah, yeah. - Okay. 1060 00:42:51,852 --> 00:42:53,185 MILES: Nicky, 1061 00:42:53,187 --> 00:42:54,618 you don't need to worry. 1062 00:42:54,620 --> 00:42:56,220 Your mom's in heaven now. 1063 00:42:56,222 --> 00:42:58,823 - No, she's not! Shut up! - (MILES GROANING) 1064 00:42:58,825 --> 00:42:59,957 - She's in the ground! - MILES: Ow! Stop it! 1065 00:42:59,959 --> 00:43:01,325 She's never coming back! 1066 00:43:01,327 --> 00:43:02,694 - (NICKY GRUNTING) - Ow! You're hurting me! 1067 00:43:02,696 --> 00:43:04,428 - NICKY: I hate you! - MILES: Ow! Stop it! 1068 00:43:04,430 --> 00:43:06,666 - (NICKY CONTINUES GRUNTS) - SEAN: Nicky, get off him! 1069 00:43:08,435 --> 00:43:09,734 Nicky, what're you doing? Get off him! 1070 00:43:09,736 --> 00:43:11,435 - What the hell are you doing? - (MILES CRYING) 1071 00:43:11,437 --> 00:43:12,404 Calm down, stop that. 1072 00:43:12,406 --> 00:43:14,772 She made this happen! She made my mom die! 1073 00:43:14,774 --> 00:43:16,241 That's crazy and you know that. 1074 00:43:16,243 --> 00:43:17,542 She's trying to be my new mom! 1075 00:43:17,544 --> 00:43:18,642 Sweetie, I'm not trying to be your mom. 1076 00:43:18,644 --> 00:43:19,810 I want my mom! 1077 00:43:19,812 --> 00:43:20,879 I know you do, baby. I know you do. 1078 00:43:20,881 --> 00:43:22,279 - But calm down. - Mom was right! 1079 00:43:22,281 --> 00:43:24,549 You are a loser! 1080 00:43:25,252 --> 00:43:26,317 Is that what she told you, 1081 00:43:26,319 --> 00:43:27,551 drunk at 2:00 in the afternoon? 1082 00:43:27,553 --> 00:43:29,687 - I am trying my best! - Sean! 1083 00:43:29,689 --> 00:43:31,288 He's just a little boy. Jesus! 1084 00:43:31,290 --> 00:43:32,790 - Nicky, I'm sorry. - (NICKY CRYING) 1085 00:43:32,792 --> 00:43:34,459 - What do I do? - STEPHANIE: Okay. 1086 00:43:34,461 --> 00:43:35,627 What do I do? 1087 00:43:35,629 --> 00:43:36,962 We're all gonna take a deep, centering breath now. 1088 00:43:36,964 --> 00:43:38,495 Ready? (INHALES DEEPLY) 1089 00:43:38,497 --> 00:43:39,897 We're gonna focus on one thing at a time. 1090 00:43:39,899 --> 00:43:41,899 I'm gonna stay and talk to Nicky. 1091 00:43:41,901 --> 00:43:43,500 So I need you to take Miles inside, 1092 00:43:43,502 --> 00:43:44,868 put some ice on his nose. 1093 00:43:44,870 --> 00:43:46,673 'Cause you got a good little shiner coming. 1094 00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:49,376 - It's okay. - Okay. 1095 00:43:49,743 --> 00:43:50,745 It's okay. 1096 00:43:53,546 --> 00:43:55,215 I don't wanna talk to you. 1097 00:43:56,383 --> 00:43:58,350 (STEPHANIE SIGHS) 1098 00:43:58,352 --> 00:43:59,450 You're not my favorite dinner date 1099 00:43:59,452 --> 00:44:01,586 right now either, buster. 1100 00:44:01,588 --> 00:44:02,787 But you should know that everything 1101 00:44:02,789 --> 00:44:04,788 you're feeling right now is normal. 1102 00:44:04,790 --> 00:44:06,991 You can act out all you want. That's fine. 1103 00:44:06,993 --> 00:44:08,792 This doesn't change what I know. 1104 00:44:08,794 --> 00:44:10,328 What do you know? 1105 00:44:10,330 --> 00:44:11,465 That you're a good kid. 1106 00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,269 So let's just sit here and not talk. 1107 00:44:18,272 --> 00:44:20,372 Let's just sit here 1108 00:44:20,374 --> 00:44:22,577 and feel lousy and watch the grass grow. 1109 00:44:36,656 --> 00:44:37,857 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 1110 00:44:56,709 --> 00:44:57,711 Hey. 1111 00:44:59,345 --> 00:45:02,513 Hey, come on. Don't be hard on yourself, yeah? 1112 00:45:02,515 --> 00:45:04,816 It's the kind of stuff nobody gets right. 1113 00:45:04,818 --> 00:45:06,817 You do. You always do. 1114 00:45:06,819 --> 00:45:08,588 No, no, come on. 1115 00:45:13,359 --> 00:45:15,930 (BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY) 1116 00:45:31,745 --> 00:45:33,447 Um... I don't know if... 1117 00:45:34,414 --> 00:45:35,479 Yeah. 1118 00:45:35,481 --> 00:45:36,816 - Yeah, we shouldn't. - Yeah. 1119 00:45:38,017 --> 00:45:39,651 Yeah. 1120 00:45:39,653 --> 00:45:41,555 (BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY) 1121 00:45:42,488 --> 00:45:43,490 Fuck. 1122 00:45:54,633 --> 00:45:56,036 (SEDUCTIVE MUSIC PLAYING) 1123 00:46:11,885 --> 00:46:13,521 (MOANING) 1124 00:46:44,917 --> 00:46:46,953 - (REMOTE BEEPS) - (UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 1125 00:48:08,767 --> 00:48:10,069 (DOORBELL RINGING) 1126 00:48:13,973 --> 00:48:16,573 Are you serious? 1127 00:48:16,575 --> 00:48:17,977 (DOORBELL CONTINUES RINGING) 1128 00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:29,953 - Hey, Ms. Smothers! - (EXCLAIMS) 1129 00:48:29,955 --> 00:48:32,492 - Can I talk to you? - Yeah. Um... 1130 00:48:33,859 --> 00:48:34,861 I'm gonna come right down. 1131 00:48:37,763 --> 00:48:38,932 Shit! 1132 00:48:40,232 --> 00:48:42,966 - Hi! Hi! - Hey! Hey! 1133 00:48:42,968 --> 00:48:46,136 Uh, I just left something here, so I was just... 1134 00:48:46,138 --> 00:48:47,538 I had a key 1135 00:48:47,540 --> 00:48:49,240 because earlier, Sean gave me a key... 1136 00:48:49,242 --> 00:48:50,808 You're not under arrest, Miss Smothers. 1137 00:48:50,810 --> 00:48:51,812 - Oh! (CHUCKLING) - FYI. 1138 00:48:52,745 --> 00:48:54,145 I should hope not. 1139 00:48:54,147 --> 00:48:56,714 - All right. No, no. - No. 1140 00:48:56,716 --> 00:48:58,752 - You're very funny. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 1141 00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:00,154 Um... 1142 00:49:00,953 --> 00:49:01,953 Sean's not here right now. 1143 00:49:01,955 --> 00:49:04,788 You know, I was actually hoping to speak to you. 1144 00:49:04,790 --> 00:49:06,790 - Oh! - Yeah, I went by your house. 1145 00:49:06,792 --> 00:49:08,191 Then I went by the school, 1146 00:49:08,193 --> 00:49:10,194 then one of the moms thought you might be here. 1147 00:49:10,196 --> 00:49:12,232 Did they? Okay. Well, that's... 1148 00:49:12,999 --> 00:49:14,232 Was it Stacy? 1149 00:49:14,234 --> 00:49:16,167 Can I come in? 1150 00:49:16,169 --> 00:49:18,035 - Of course, I would love that! - Thank you. 1151 00:49:18,037 --> 00:49:19,837 (SPEAKS FRENCH) 1152 00:49:19,839 --> 00:49:21,742 You said that Emily's your best friend. 1153 00:49:22,575 --> 00:49:24,875 Yes. Yes, we are. 1154 00:49:24,877 --> 00:49:27,044 - Was she depressed? - No. 1155 00:49:27,046 --> 00:49:28,680 No, she had everything. 1156 00:49:28,682 --> 00:49:30,180 She had the house and the job... 1157 00:49:30,182 --> 00:49:31,251 And the husband. 1158 00:49:32,318 --> 00:49:33,817 I was getting there, yeah. 1159 00:49:33,819 --> 00:49:35,953 The neighbors said they fought a lot. 1160 00:49:35,955 --> 00:49:38,589 Well, they had issues. Um... 1161 00:49:38,591 --> 00:49:40,691 But they loved each other intensely. 1162 00:49:40,693 --> 00:49:41,896 Oh, what issues did they have? 1163 00:49:42,595 --> 00:49:43,660 The normal issues. 1164 00:49:43,662 --> 00:49:44,562 They were stressed about money. 1165 00:49:44,564 --> 00:49:47,298 And I think Emily wanted to slow down 1166 00:49:47,300 --> 00:49:48,933 and smell the roses. 1167 00:49:48,935 --> 00:49:50,801 She slowed down all right. 1168 00:49:50,803 --> 00:49:53,706 I got the autopsy report right here. 1169 00:49:54,707 --> 00:49:55,807 Let's see here. 1170 00:49:55,809 --> 00:49:58,843 "Severe liver damage suggesting heavy alcohol use. 1171 00:49:58,845 --> 00:50:02,680 "Track marks along her arms and between her toes." 1172 00:50:02,682 --> 00:50:04,285 Were you aware of the heroin use? 1173 00:50:07,653 --> 00:50:09,122 No, that's, uh... (STAMMERING) 1174 00:50:11,024 --> 00:50:12,656 I'm sorry, I really have 1175 00:50:12,658 --> 00:50:14,258 - trouble believing that. - (SCOFFS) 1176 00:50:14,260 --> 00:50:16,660 She liked a very strong martini, but... 1177 00:50:16,662 --> 00:50:21,332 I don't know how she could've kept that a secret from me, 1178 00:50:21,334 --> 00:50:23,834 and especially from her husband, Sean. 1179 00:50:23,836 --> 00:50:25,837 Yeah, you seem to know Sean pretty well. 1180 00:50:25,839 --> 00:50:28,272 I... We've gotten to know each other 1181 00:50:28,274 --> 00:50:31,308 over the last few weeks, just as friends. 1182 00:50:31,310 --> 00:50:32,312 Uh-huh. 1183 00:50:33,812 --> 00:50:35,078 (CLICKS TONGUE) I'm guessing you've never dealt 1184 00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:36,749 with law enforcement before. 1185 00:50:44,189 --> 00:50:45,892 - Not really, no. - Mmm. 1186 00:50:46,825 --> 00:50:48,792 (SUMMERVILLE CHUCKLES) 1187 00:50:48,794 --> 00:50:49,861 That's a really nice dress. 1188 00:50:49,863 --> 00:50:51,662 Oh, thank you. 1189 00:50:51,664 --> 00:50:52,897 Doesn't seem to be your style, though. 1190 00:50:52,899 --> 00:50:55,767 Oh, I'm very versatile, Detective, 1191 00:50:55,769 --> 00:50:57,200 I think you'll find. 1192 00:50:57,202 --> 00:51:00,971 I'm really just trying to help Sean and Nicky 1193 00:51:00,973 --> 00:51:02,073 in their time of grief. 1194 00:51:02,075 --> 00:51:03,343 Oh, how is Sean's grief? 1195 00:51:04,810 --> 00:51:06,343 He's holding up very well. 1196 00:51:06,345 --> 00:51:08,779 As well as can be expected. 1197 00:51:08,781 --> 00:51:10,415 Uh-huh. (CHUCKLES) 1198 00:51:10,417 --> 00:51:12,417 Is that everything, or... 1199 00:51:12,419 --> 00:51:14,888 (CLEARS THROAT) Let me ask you something. 1200 00:51:17,990 --> 00:51:19,290 Were you aware 1201 00:51:19,292 --> 00:51:21,859 that he took out an extra $4 million 1202 00:51:21,861 --> 00:51:23,194 life insurance policy 1203 00:51:23,196 --> 00:51:24,964 on Emily before she disappeared? 1204 00:51:26,999 --> 00:51:30,136 I was not aware of that, no. 1205 00:51:30,870 --> 00:51:32,306 Why? How would I? 1206 00:51:34,240 --> 00:51:36,808 (CHUCKLES) Okay, all right. 1207 00:51:36,810 --> 00:51:39,113 (SIGHS) Yeah, I don't... 1208 00:51:39,778 --> 00:51:41,848 I'm sorry. What... 1209 00:51:43,816 --> 00:51:44,881 What are you... 1210 00:51:44,883 --> 00:51:46,216 Are you saying he had her rubbed out? 1211 00:51:46,218 --> 00:51:47,718 He hired a hitman? 1212 00:51:47,720 --> 00:51:50,921 (LAUGHING) 1213 00:51:50,923 --> 00:51:53,256 I didn't say anything about him hiring a hitman. 1214 00:51:53,258 --> 00:51:54,357 You just did. 1215 00:51:54,359 --> 00:51:56,160 Okay. 1216 00:51:56,162 --> 00:51:57,794 I can see that you're enjoying yourself, 1217 00:51:57,796 --> 00:51:58,930 Detective Summerville. 1218 00:51:58,932 --> 00:52:00,464 But if you wanna grill someone, you should 1219 00:52:00,466 --> 00:52:03,000 really speak to Emily's boss, Dennis Nylon. 1220 00:52:03,002 --> 00:52:04,801 He could not be more suspicious. 1221 00:52:04,803 --> 00:52:07,071 That's super interesting because he contacted us. 1222 00:52:07,073 --> 00:52:10,174 And he said he thought you knew more than you were letting on. 1223 00:52:10,176 --> 00:52:12,509 Well, he sucks. 1224 00:52:12,511 --> 00:52:15,011 So... (SIGHS) 1225 00:52:15,013 --> 00:52:17,314 As long as you're honest with me, Ms. Smothers, 1226 00:52:17,316 --> 00:52:18,482 I swear to you, 1227 00:52:18,484 --> 00:52:20,417 you have nothing to worry about. Okay? 1228 00:52:20,419 --> 00:52:24,187 I'm just following breadcrumbs wherever they lead. 1229 00:52:24,189 --> 00:52:25,923 Okay, you know what? I'm done for now. 1230 00:52:25,925 --> 00:52:27,959 Thanks for your time. 1231 00:52:27,961 --> 00:52:30,528 (STAMMERS) Your theory doesn't hold water, you know, 1232 00:52:30,530 --> 00:52:31,928 because it doesn't explain 1233 00:52:31,930 --> 00:52:34,232 the fake plane ticket or the rental car. 1234 00:52:34,234 --> 00:52:36,433 And why would someone shoot her full of heroin 1235 00:52:36,435 --> 00:52:37,701 at a summer camp in Michigan? 1236 00:52:37,703 --> 00:52:39,772 There's plenty of good heroin right here in Connecticut! 1237 00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:41,805 I'm told. 1238 00:52:41,807 --> 00:52:44,408 Great, good. Okay, so we have a lot to talk about. 1239 00:52:44,410 --> 00:52:46,076 All right, then. Enjoy the new house. 1240 00:52:46,078 --> 00:52:48,779 The worst breadcrumbs I've ever heard of, you know. 1241 00:52:48,781 --> 00:52:49,946 Couldn't fill a Caesar salad 1242 00:52:49,948 --> 00:52:51,251 - with those breadcrumbs! - (DOOR CLOSES) 1243 00:52:58,057 --> 00:52:59,392 (SIGHING IN RELIEF) 1244 00:53:44,370 --> 00:53:48,004 Why is this Caesarean salad so crunchy? 1245 00:53:48,006 --> 00:53:50,778 It's Caesar salad, baby, and it's delicious. 1246 00:53:51,276 --> 00:53:52,412 What's in it? 1247 00:53:53,912 --> 00:53:54,914 Breadcrumbs. 1248 00:53:55,180 --> 00:53:56,247 Oh. 1249 00:53:56,249 --> 00:53:57,451 How was your day at work? 1250 00:53:58,417 --> 00:53:59,484 Grim. 1251 00:53:59,486 --> 00:54:00,651 Spent most of the day explaining the difference 1252 00:54:00,653 --> 00:54:05,122 between "your" possessive and "you're" apostrophe R-E 1253 00:54:05,124 --> 00:54:08,024 to college juniors. 1254 00:54:08,026 --> 00:54:09,996 I can see how that might drive a man over the edge. 1255 00:54:11,164 --> 00:54:12,629 I know, right? 1256 00:54:12,631 --> 00:54:14,064 What about you boys? 1257 00:54:14,066 --> 00:54:16,267 What'd you guys get up to today at school? 1258 00:54:16,269 --> 00:54:17,471 I saw my mom. 1259 00:54:21,540 --> 00:54:23,140 I understand, Nicky, that sometimes 1260 00:54:23,142 --> 00:54:25,078 we think we see people that we miss 1261 00:54:26,011 --> 00:54:27,377 even if they're gone. 1262 00:54:27,379 --> 00:54:29,013 No, I saw her. 1263 00:54:29,015 --> 00:54:30,214 She was right outside the fence 1264 00:54:30,216 --> 00:54:32,051 by the kickball yard at recess. 1265 00:54:33,653 --> 00:54:36,087 Lots of people look like someone else. 1266 00:54:36,089 --> 00:54:37,357 Nobody looks like Mom! 1267 00:54:38,892 --> 00:54:40,160 She told me to say hi to Stephanie. 1268 00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:41,658 Nicky, 1269 00:54:41,660 --> 00:54:43,261 this is unhealthy. 1270 00:54:43,263 --> 00:54:45,265 Miles saw her, too. Right, Miles? 1271 00:54:46,466 --> 00:54:48,098 I think I did. 1272 00:54:48,100 --> 00:54:49,232 But I don't know. 1273 00:54:49,234 --> 00:54:50,634 I was playing tetherball. 1274 00:54:50,636 --> 00:54:52,470 Did you two hatch this up? 1275 00:54:52,472 --> 00:54:54,671 Is this a game, like when you smash everything with trucks? 1276 00:54:54,673 --> 00:54:56,274 Because you know what we say about lying. 1277 00:54:56,276 --> 00:54:58,910 I'm not lying! I saw her! Fuck you! 1278 00:54:58,912 --> 00:55:00,310 Hey, Nicky! 1279 00:55:00,312 --> 00:55:01,314 MILES: Oopsy! 1280 00:55:03,283 --> 00:55:04,918 I'm sorry. 1281 00:55:13,959 --> 00:55:16,160 Don't I get a kiss good night? 1282 00:55:16,162 --> 00:55:18,095 Of course you do, sweetie. 1283 00:55:18,097 --> 00:55:20,031 Actually, you owe the oopsy jar a quarter 1284 00:55:20,033 --> 00:55:21,468 for earlier, but I... 1285 00:55:28,274 --> 00:55:29,276 Good night, sweetie. 1286 00:55:38,718 --> 00:55:39,920 Hey. 1287 00:55:41,153 --> 00:55:42,889 We should get naked. 1288 00:55:45,124 --> 00:55:46,359 What is it? 1289 00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:48,491 What's wrong? 1290 00:55:48,493 --> 00:55:52,029 I smell her, Sean. I smell her perfume. 1291 00:55:52,031 --> 00:55:54,365 It's all over Nicky like a ghost. 1292 00:55:54,367 --> 00:55:55,732 He probably got to her perfume bottle 1293 00:55:55,734 --> 00:55:57,435 in the medicine cabinet. 1294 00:55:57,437 --> 00:55:59,270 He misses her. 1295 00:55:59,272 --> 00:56:00,571 Okay? It's just you being paranoid. 1296 00:56:00,573 --> 00:56:02,643 Is it? Because I found this, too. 1297 00:56:04,176 --> 00:56:05,609 What's this? 1298 00:56:05,611 --> 00:56:07,111 It's the friendship bracelet I made her. 1299 00:56:07,113 --> 00:56:08,682 I'm afraid to say she would not have kept this. 1300 00:56:09,481 --> 00:56:12,116 She hated stuff like this. 1301 00:56:12,118 --> 00:56:13,283 She probably gave it to him 1302 00:56:13,285 --> 00:56:14,718 right after you gave it to her. 1303 00:56:14,720 --> 00:56:16,720 Unless he's telling the truth. 1304 00:56:16,722 --> 00:56:19,158 You saw her with your own eyes. 1305 00:56:19,758 --> 00:56:21,292 In her coffin. 1306 00:56:21,294 --> 00:56:22,692 There was something off. 1307 00:56:22,694 --> 00:56:24,761 They found her at the bottom of a lake! 1308 00:56:24,763 --> 00:56:26,296 You saw her tattoo, 1309 00:56:26,298 --> 00:56:28,501 and you saw that ring that she stole from my mother. 1310 00:56:30,303 --> 00:56:32,703 She said your mother wanted her to have that ring. 1311 00:56:32,705 --> 00:56:34,138 She said your mother insisted. 1312 00:56:34,140 --> 00:56:36,506 That's what she told you? (SCOFFS) 1313 00:56:36,508 --> 00:56:38,676 My father gave that ring to my mother. 1314 00:56:38,678 --> 00:56:40,044 It was like the only bit of jewelry 1315 00:56:40,046 --> 00:56:41,312 that she ever owned. 1316 00:56:41,314 --> 00:56:43,247 I took Emily to London to meet my mother 1317 00:56:43,249 --> 00:56:44,482 after we eloped. 1318 00:56:44,484 --> 00:56:47,151 It went missing that weekend. 1319 00:56:47,153 --> 00:56:50,220 My mother was frantic. We searched everywhere. 1320 00:56:50,222 --> 00:56:51,657 Nothing. We didn't find a single thing. 1321 00:56:53,126 --> 00:56:55,058 My mother was devastated. 1322 00:56:55,060 --> 00:56:56,530 So we took a flight back to New York. 1323 00:56:57,763 --> 00:56:59,265 Guess what I found. 1324 00:57:00,098 --> 00:57:01,501 What did you find? 1325 00:57:02,435 --> 00:57:03,734 - No! - (LAUGHS) 1326 00:57:03,736 --> 00:57:05,468 No way! 1327 00:57:05,470 --> 00:57:08,071 - My little Sherlock Holmes. - (LAUGHS) 1328 00:57:08,073 --> 00:57:09,807 Mum is gonna be so relieved. 1329 00:57:09,809 --> 00:57:11,709 Oh, come on, baby. 1330 00:57:11,711 --> 00:57:14,448 Mum will take it to the grave. What a waste. 1331 00:57:15,214 --> 00:57:16,446 So pretty. 1332 00:57:16,448 --> 00:57:17,415 Excuse me. 1333 00:57:17,417 --> 00:57:20,250 Not amusing, my darling, not in the slightest. 1334 00:57:20,252 --> 00:57:23,053 I'm not joking in the slightest, 1335 00:57:23,055 --> 00:57:24,821 (IN BRITISH ACCENT) my darling. 1336 00:57:24,823 --> 00:57:25,823 (IN NORMAL ACCENT) I took it. 1337 00:57:25,825 --> 00:57:28,191 I don't have any intention of giving it back. 1338 00:57:28,193 --> 00:57:29,392 Of course we're gonna give it back. 1339 00:57:29,394 --> 00:57:31,095 No. 1340 00:57:31,097 --> 00:57:32,430 We'll tell her that it just slipped 1341 00:57:32,432 --> 00:57:33,696 into your purse by accident, 1342 00:57:33,698 --> 00:57:36,232 and we've only found it now. 1343 00:57:36,234 --> 00:57:38,169 But if you tell her that I found it, 1344 00:57:38,171 --> 00:57:39,669 then I have to tell her that I stole it. 1345 00:57:39,671 --> 00:57:42,073 And what do you think will be worse for her? 1346 00:57:42,075 --> 00:57:44,241 Thinking that she lost her ring, 1347 00:57:44,243 --> 00:57:47,078 or thinking that her son married a thief? (GASPS) 1348 00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:48,578 - Baby... - Hey. 1349 00:57:48,580 --> 00:57:50,716 You choose, her or me? 1350 00:57:53,852 --> 00:57:55,752 Meet me in the bathroom in 20 seconds. 1351 00:57:55,754 --> 00:57:56,789 Knock twice. 1352 00:58:23,448 --> 00:58:26,816 SEAN: Nine months later, Nicky was born. 1353 00:58:26,818 --> 00:58:28,886 STEPHANIE: How could you stay with her? 1354 00:58:28,888 --> 00:58:31,154 I was spellbound. 1355 00:58:31,156 --> 00:58:32,256 She was the only woman 1356 00:58:32,258 --> 00:58:33,691 I could never figure out fully. 1357 00:58:33,693 --> 00:58:35,825 As a young, arrogant writer, I could never 1358 00:58:35,827 --> 00:58:37,861 live up to what she expected of me. 1359 00:58:37,863 --> 00:58:39,662 I was always looking over my shoulder. 1360 00:58:39,664 --> 00:58:41,100 I could hardly sleep. 1361 00:58:42,502 --> 00:58:44,334 But with you, it's different. 1362 00:58:44,336 --> 00:58:45,769 I sleep like a log. 1363 00:58:45,771 --> 00:58:47,504 That's what every woman wants to hear. 1364 00:58:47,506 --> 00:58:48,571 You know what I mean. 1365 00:58:48,573 --> 00:58:50,342 You understand me, you see me. 1366 00:58:51,243 --> 00:58:53,209 You've rebuilt me, Stephanie. 1367 00:58:53,211 --> 00:58:54,647 I've even started writing again. 1368 00:58:55,481 --> 00:58:57,480 First couple of chapters, 1369 00:58:57,482 --> 00:58:58,685 but it's a start. 1370 00:59:00,519 --> 00:59:01,588 Oh. 1371 00:59:02,888 --> 00:59:04,654 That's wonderful. 1372 00:59:04,656 --> 00:59:06,557 You took a broken man, 1373 00:59:06,559 --> 00:59:08,892 and you pieced him back together again. 1374 00:59:08,894 --> 00:59:11,363 You're unlike any other woman I've ever met. 1375 00:59:13,298 --> 00:59:14,333 Move in with me. 1376 00:59:15,700 --> 00:59:16,667 Sean. 1377 00:59:16,669 --> 00:59:19,403 No, it's too soon. What will people think? 1378 00:59:19,405 --> 00:59:20,703 They're already thinking it. 1379 00:59:20,705 --> 00:59:23,307 And I'm tired of lying. I'm tired of pretending. 1380 00:59:23,309 --> 00:59:24,444 I want to be this man. 1381 00:59:25,178 --> 00:59:26,513 The man I am with you. 1382 00:59:27,747 --> 00:59:29,680 I don't do threesomes. 1383 00:59:29,682 --> 00:59:30,814 I want to say that. 1384 00:59:30,816 --> 00:59:32,283 I'll just get that out in the open. 1385 00:59:32,285 --> 00:59:33,917 What are you talking about? 1386 00:59:33,919 --> 00:59:35,586 Your TA? 1387 00:59:35,588 --> 00:59:39,189 Emily told me about your little moment. 1388 00:59:39,191 --> 00:59:40,491 - That's what she told you? - Yes. 1389 00:59:40,493 --> 00:59:41,558 Stephanie, listen. 1390 00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:43,761 Emily was a pathological liar. 1391 00:59:43,763 --> 00:59:45,765 That never happened, okay? 1392 00:59:46,899 --> 00:59:48,799 Why did you take out a $4 million 1393 00:59:48,801 --> 00:59:50,600 insurance policy on her? 1394 00:59:50,602 --> 00:59:53,236 My gosh. Those cops really did a number on you, didn't they? 1395 00:59:53,238 --> 00:59:54,571 I'm being serious. 1396 00:59:54,573 --> 00:59:56,406 It was because of you. 1397 00:59:56,408 --> 00:59:57,875 When Emily found out that you had been 1398 00:59:57,877 --> 01:00:00,678 living off your husband's insurance money, 1399 01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:03,314 she thought she and I needed to get policies 1400 01:00:03,316 --> 01:00:04,781 out for Nicky's sake. 1401 01:00:04,783 --> 01:00:06,752 It's probably the most responsible thing we ever did. 1402 01:00:07,653 --> 01:00:08,855 Thanks to you. 1403 01:00:11,256 --> 01:00:12,656 Move in with me. 1404 01:00:12,658 --> 01:00:15,258 We can start a whole new, wonderful life together. 1405 01:00:15,260 --> 01:00:16,829 Just you, me and the boys. 1406 01:00:18,430 --> 01:00:20,733 - Please, say yes. - (CHUCKLES) 1407 01:00:23,502 --> 01:00:25,906 I love you, Stephanie Smothers. 1408 01:00:27,406 --> 01:00:29,640 I love you, too. 1409 01:00:29,642 --> 01:00:31,477 (UPBEAT FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) 1410 01:00:52,531 --> 01:00:53,863 (STEPHANIE GASPS) 1411 01:00:53,865 --> 01:00:55,201 (GRUNTS) 1412 01:01:35,807 --> 01:01:37,010 (SCREAMS) 1413 01:01:47,553 --> 01:01:50,421 Hi, moms. This is Stephanie here. 1414 01:01:50,423 --> 01:01:52,388 I'm gonna do something a little different today. 1415 01:01:52,390 --> 01:01:54,825 I normally avoid any talk of religion on the vlog. 1416 01:01:54,827 --> 01:01:57,861 I don't wanna offend any non-denominational moms. 1417 01:01:57,863 --> 01:02:00,634 But I do think that we live on after we die, so... 1418 01:02:02,834 --> 01:02:04,033 Emily, 1419 01:02:04,035 --> 01:02:06,636 if you are out there, 1420 01:02:06,638 --> 01:02:08,839 and you can hear me right now, 1421 01:02:08,841 --> 01:02:11,008 no one could ever replace you. 1422 01:02:11,010 --> 01:02:14,044 And you'll always be Nicky's mom. 1423 01:02:14,046 --> 01:02:16,479 I can't take your place. 1424 01:02:16,481 --> 01:02:20,651 I can just try to love the people that you love 1425 01:02:20,653 --> 01:02:23,053 and try to make their lives better. 1426 01:02:23,055 --> 01:02:24,790 I think that's what you would want. 1427 01:02:27,526 --> 01:02:29,727 - (MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) - (BOYS GRUNTING) 1428 01:02:29,729 --> 01:02:32,495 Okay, guys, it's getting too rough back there. 1429 01:02:32,497 --> 01:02:34,365 I murdered you! 1430 01:02:34,367 --> 01:02:36,799 Not me. I came back to life. 1431 01:02:36,801 --> 01:02:38,468 Like your mom! 1432 01:02:38,470 --> 01:02:40,104 Okay, the dolls are going in your backpacks 1433 01:02:40,106 --> 01:02:41,604 or they're going in the trash, I mean it. 1434 01:02:41,606 --> 01:02:44,975 Mom, they're not dolls! God! 1435 01:02:44,977 --> 01:02:48,379 Stephanie, my mom told me to give you this. 1436 01:02:48,381 --> 01:02:50,381 - MILES: Mom! - (CAR HORN HONKING) 1437 01:02:50,383 --> 01:02:52,319 - (TIRES SCREECHING) - (BOYS SCREAMING) 1438 01:02:57,522 --> 01:02:59,091 Damn! Are you trying to kill us? 1439 01:03:12,972 --> 01:03:14,874 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1440 01:03:16,575 --> 01:03:17,577 (SIGHS) 1441 01:03:18,910 --> 01:03:20,009 Hello? 1442 01:03:20,011 --> 01:03:20,977 MAN: Hi, I'm calling from 1443 01:03:20,979 --> 01:03:22,678 United Timeshare International. 1444 01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:23,980 Yep, I... 1445 01:03:23,982 --> 01:03:25,816 We'd like to offer you a free trip to the Bahamas. 1446 01:03:25,818 --> 01:03:27,417 All you have to do is come down to one of... 1447 01:03:27,419 --> 01:03:29,486 I don't want that, have a nice day. 1448 01:03:29,488 --> 01:03:30,790 I don't want that, I don't care. 1449 01:03:31,524 --> 01:03:33,359 Oh, my God! 1450 01:03:33,959 --> 01:03:35,895 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 1451 01:03:37,129 --> 01:03:38,562 Hi, I'm sure you have a job to do. 1452 01:03:38,564 --> 01:03:39,629 I don't need a free trip. 1453 01:03:39,631 --> 01:03:40,633 EMILY: Hi. 1454 01:03:43,669 --> 01:03:44,871 Brotherfucker. 1455 01:03:47,839 --> 01:03:50,441 - Emily? - No, no, Emily's dead. 1456 01:03:50,443 --> 01:03:52,942 Oh, no, have you forgotten already? 1457 01:03:52,944 --> 01:03:54,745 - Where are you? - I'm in heaven. 1458 01:03:54,747 --> 01:03:56,913 Watching over you. 1459 01:03:56,915 --> 01:03:58,385 Nice blouse, by the way. 1460 01:04:00,785 --> 01:04:02,653 Why are you doing this? 1461 01:04:02,655 --> 01:04:04,220 How do you know it's just me doing it? 1462 01:04:04,222 --> 01:04:06,592 Hey, hey, hey, kiss Sean for me, 1463 01:04:07,126 --> 01:04:08,660 four million times. 1464 01:04:14,499 --> 01:04:15,399 Oh, hey. 1465 01:04:15,401 --> 01:04:17,533 Are you trying to Diabolique me? 1466 01:04:17,535 --> 01:04:18,769 What are you talking about? 1467 01:04:18,771 --> 01:04:19,636 Diabolique, you know? 1468 01:04:19,638 --> 01:04:22,772 The French movie about the guy whose wife 1469 01:04:22,774 --> 01:04:24,475 and mistress, they're trying to kill him. 1470 01:04:24,477 --> 01:04:25,709 But I don't have a $4 million 1471 01:04:25,711 --> 01:04:27,076 - insurance policy. - Stephanie... 1472 01:04:27,078 --> 01:04:29,779 If you and Emily are in some kind of plan, please just call it off... 1473 01:04:29,781 --> 01:04:31,714 - Stephanie. - I'm really not the one. 1474 01:04:31,716 --> 01:04:33,250 - Just breathe, please. - (SIGHS) 1475 01:04:33,252 --> 01:04:35,819 Nicky's getting to you. Emily is dead. 1476 01:04:35,821 --> 01:04:37,056 She called me. 1477 01:04:37,890 --> 01:04:39,223 What? 1478 01:04:39,225 --> 01:04:40,691 She called me today. 1479 01:04:40,693 --> 01:04:42,058 I have a friend in the psychology department. 1480 01:04:42,060 --> 01:04:43,125 - I'll give him a call. - (KNOCK ON DOOR) 1481 01:04:43,127 --> 01:04:44,727 BETH: Hey, handsome, you got time... 1482 01:04:44,729 --> 01:04:47,897 I am sorry. I didn't know you were in a meeting. 1483 01:04:47,899 --> 01:04:49,232 Beth, this is Stephanie. 1484 01:04:49,234 --> 01:04:50,933 Nice to meet you. 1485 01:04:50,935 --> 01:04:52,636 Nice to meet you. 1486 01:04:52,638 --> 01:04:54,604 I was just wondering if you needed 1487 01:04:54,606 --> 01:04:56,707 to use the SMART board, 'cause it's broken. 1488 01:04:56,709 --> 01:04:58,678 - I can live without it. - BETH: All right. 1489 01:04:59,511 --> 01:05:00,580 All right. 1490 01:05:02,615 --> 01:05:03,779 She seems nice. 1491 01:05:03,781 --> 01:05:05,749 Stephanie, go home. 1492 01:05:05,751 --> 01:05:07,618 Emily had some Xanax in the medicine cabinet. 1493 01:05:07,620 --> 01:05:08,718 Take one. Take two. 1494 01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:11,220 Yeah. Maybe she has some heroin lying around. Hmm? 1495 01:05:11,222 --> 01:05:13,859 This is all just grief. Just stages of grief. 1496 01:05:14,926 --> 01:05:16,292 I'm sorry, you're right. 1497 01:05:16,294 --> 01:05:18,764 I'm so overwhelmed, and I... 1498 01:05:19,798 --> 01:05:21,133 (SIGHS) I'm sorry. 1499 01:05:26,104 --> 01:05:28,640 EMILY: Oh, baby, you just need someone to love you. 1500 01:05:30,075 --> 01:05:33,709 STEPHANIE: I have you. All you need is a good friend. 1501 01:05:33,711 --> 01:05:35,279 Come on, don't you miss sex? 1502 01:05:35,281 --> 01:05:38,549 Having a man fuck you on top of a washing machine? 1503 01:05:38,551 --> 01:05:41,051 (SIGHS) Barely remember what it's like. 1504 01:05:41,053 --> 01:05:42,151 Why are you such a masochist? 1505 01:05:42,153 --> 01:05:43,921 You could have a man in your bed any time you want. 1506 01:05:43,923 --> 01:05:45,955 I had a man, I ruined that, so... 1507 01:05:45,957 --> 01:05:47,156 What does that mean? 1508 01:05:47,158 --> 01:05:49,560 Come on, what does that mean? 1509 01:05:49,562 --> 01:05:51,828 If you can't tell me, you can't tell anyone. 1510 01:05:51,830 --> 01:05:52,832 I'm your best friend. 1511 01:05:54,033 --> 01:05:55,568 (INHALES DEEPLY) 1512 01:06:04,810 --> 01:06:06,813 (INAUDIBLE) 1513 01:06:13,218 --> 01:06:14,854 STEPHANIE: Let's go see Daddy. 1514 01:06:18,923 --> 01:06:20,189 DAVIS: I just want the truth. 1515 01:06:20,191 --> 01:06:21,591 STEPHANIE: What are you talking about? 1516 01:06:21,593 --> 01:06:24,093 About Miles and Chris. 1517 01:06:24,095 --> 01:06:26,796 Chris? My brother, Chris? 1518 01:06:26,798 --> 01:06:28,732 Yeah, your brother. 1519 01:06:28,734 --> 01:06:31,301 And you certainly don't act like it. 1520 01:06:31,303 --> 01:06:34,236 Sometimes it's more like you guys are lovers, right? 1521 01:06:34,238 --> 01:06:36,038 (GASPS) 1522 01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:37,975 That's disgusting. That's... 1523 01:06:37,977 --> 01:06:39,212 Is Miles mine or not? 1524 01:06:40,044 --> 01:06:42,078 (STAMMERS) 1525 01:06:42,080 --> 01:06:43,212 Oh, my God! 1526 01:06:43,214 --> 01:06:45,247 Are you listening to yourself? 1527 01:06:45,249 --> 01:06:46,816 You sound ridiculous. 1528 01:06:46,818 --> 01:06:48,253 Yeah. 1529 01:06:53,691 --> 01:06:55,024 (PLATES CRASHING) 1530 01:06:55,026 --> 01:06:57,828 STEPHANIE: Davis! Davis! 1531 01:06:57,830 --> 01:06:59,796 Where are you going? 1532 01:06:59,798 --> 01:07:01,263 Where are you going? Davis? 1533 01:07:01,265 --> 01:07:02,633 Steph, it's all right. Don't worry. 1534 01:07:02,635 --> 01:07:04,133 Just gonna go for a drive. 1535 01:07:04,135 --> 01:07:05,636 Have a little talk. Man to man. 1536 01:07:05,638 --> 01:07:06,639 No problem. 1537 01:07:15,647 --> 01:07:17,149 (ENGINE STARTING) 1538 01:07:27,325 --> 01:07:28,927 It's my fault. 1539 01:07:30,863 --> 01:07:32,729 I'm the reason they're both dead. 1540 01:07:32,731 --> 01:07:34,363 No. 1541 01:07:34,365 --> 01:07:36,034 Hey, don't do that. 1542 01:07:36,901 --> 01:07:38,834 People do terrible things 1543 01:07:38,836 --> 01:07:40,002 for their own fucked-up reasons. 1544 01:07:40,004 --> 01:07:41,071 That's on them, 1545 01:07:41,073 --> 01:07:42,075 - it's not on you. - Yeah. 1546 01:07:44,376 --> 01:07:45,711 I miss him. 1547 01:07:46,444 --> 01:07:47,814 Which one? 1548 01:07:49,948 --> 01:07:51,050 Both. 1549 01:07:52,316 --> 01:07:54,386 I'm lonely. 1550 01:07:56,988 --> 01:07:58,821 I think loneliness probably kills more people 1551 01:07:58,823 --> 01:07:59,858 than cancer. 1552 01:08:02,894 --> 01:08:04,863 Hey, come here. 1553 01:08:07,031 --> 01:08:08,267 Come here. 1554 01:08:24,248 --> 01:08:27,019 You're okay. Want to order pizza? 1555 01:08:31,957 --> 01:08:35,358 Oh, God. God, I'm so embarrassed. 1556 01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:40,296 Oh, because of that? No, hey. It's all good, baby. 1557 01:08:40,298 --> 01:08:41,967 It's all good. Just another Tuesday. 1558 01:09:00,452 --> 01:09:02,689 (LATIN HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1559 01:09:20,972 --> 01:09:22,374 (BUZZES) 1560 01:09:24,510 --> 01:09:25,912 DIANA: (ON INTERCOM) Go away. 1561 01:09:26,779 --> 01:09:28,247 Diana Hyland? 1562 01:09:29,248 --> 01:09:30,415 Did you paint this? 1563 01:09:43,195 --> 01:09:44,795 Where on Earth did you find it? 1564 01:09:44,797 --> 01:09:47,834 I should start by giving you some unfortunate news. 1565 01:09:48,867 --> 01:09:50,168 Emily's dead. 1566 01:09:50,903 --> 01:09:52,402 My condolences. 1567 01:09:52,404 --> 01:09:53,906 Who the fuck is Emily? 1568 01:09:54,539 --> 01:09:55,941 The girl in the painting. 1569 01:09:59,444 --> 01:10:00,876 Good. 1570 01:10:00,878 --> 01:10:02,179 Her name's not Emily. 1571 01:10:02,181 --> 01:10:03,182 Her name's Claudia. 1572 01:10:04,315 --> 01:10:06,849 Rest in peace, asshole. 1573 01:10:06,851 --> 01:10:09,018 So, not a pleasant memory for you, then? 1574 01:10:09,020 --> 01:10:11,854 No, opposite. She was amazing. 1575 01:10:11,856 --> 01:10:14,590 I mean, she was the best that I ever had. 1576 01:10:14,592 --> 01:10:16,158 I was selling paintings. 1577 01:10:16,160 --> 01:10:17,594 You know, it was the first time 1578 01:10:17,596 --> 01:10:19,595 in my career that I had any buzz. 1579 01:10:19,597 --> 01:10:21,497 She walked into my gallery. 1580 01:10:21,499 --> 01:10:24,201 A real fucking muse just right out of thin air. 1581 01:10:24,203 --> 01:10:25,402 What happened? 1582 01:10:25,404 --> 01:10:26,906 She was all I could paint. 1583 01:10:28,440 --> 01:10:30,607 I memorized every inch of her body. 1584 01:10:30,609 --> 01:10:32,274 My dealer fucking hated it. 1585 01:10:32,276 --> 01:10:34,143 And the art critics fucking hated it. 1586 01:10:34,145 --> 01:10:37,479 They called me a knockoff dyke Mapplethorpe. 1587 01:10:37,481 --> 01:10:40,517 Anyway, I blew my whole career painting that con artist. 1588 01:10:40,519 --> 01:10:42,952 Now all I paint are these goddamn knives, 1589 01:10:42,954 --> 01:10:45,255 which are pretty good, but nobody wants to buy this shit. 1590 01:10:45,257 --> 01:10:48,494 Oh, what? They're so good. People are just jealous. 1591 01:10:52,029 --> 01:10:54,163 I haven't had a drink in 42 days. 1592 01:10:54,165 --> 01:10:55,264 Oh, don't... 1593 01:10:55,266 --> 01:10:57,133 Might as well celebrate. 1594 01:10:57,135 --> 01:10:59,338 Mmm, well, cheers. 1595 01:11:02,373 --> 01:11:04,810 I gave her my heart and I gave her my soul. 1596 01:11:05,878 --> 01:11:09,379 I paid for her to go to college. 1597 01:11:09,381 --> 01:11:10,980 I paid off her debts. 1598 01:11:10,982 --> 01:11:12,883 Did you ever see any heroin use? 1599 01:11:12,885 --> 01:11:15,085 No. No way, her? 1600 01:11:15,087 --> 01:11:16,422 No, she didn't touch it. 1601 01:11:16,989 --> 01:11:18,121 Shit. 1602 01:11:18,123 --> 01:11:21,590 She never let me paint her face except for this one. 1603 01:11:21,592 --> 01:11:24,627 I've never seen such a beautiful girl 1604 01:11:24,629 --> 01:11:26,263 wanna be so invisible 1605 01:11:26,265 --> 01:11:28,531 or just completely vanish. 1606 01:11:28,533 --> 01:11:30,066 But you know what, it takes 1607 01:11:30,068 --> 01:11:31,568 money to vanish. 1608 01:11:31,570 --> 01:11:35,007 And so she took everything that she could from me. 1609 01:11:37,208 --> 01:11:38,577 You know how I would paint you? 1610 01:11:41,312 --> 01:11:43,179 Beatific. 1611 01:11:43,181 --> 01:11:44,550 Like a fucking saint. 1612 01:11:45,350 --> 01:11:46,586 I get that a lot. 1613 01:11:47,953 --> 01:11:49,922 You should embrace it. People love saints. 1614 01:11:51,022 --> 01:11:53,124 Yeah. After they're dead. 1615 01:11:55,060 --> 01:11:57,227 Okay. What do you know about her? How did she die? 1616 01:11:57,229 --> 01:11:58,297 In a lake. 1617 01:11:59,397 --> 01:12:00,498 On heroin. 1618 01:12:03,668 --> 01:12:06,202 Well, you don't believe that or you wouldn't be here. 1619 01:12:06,204 --> 01:12:08,941 She didn't ever mention Michigan, did she? 1620 01:12:09,307 --> 01:12:10,309 (SCOFFS) 1621 01:12:11,075 --> 01:12:12,078 (SNIFFS) 1622 01:12:16,414 --> 01:12:19,316 That is the only thing that she ever left here. 1623 01:12:19,318 --> 01:12:21,486 She said she had it since she was a kid. 1624 01:12:24,422 --> 01:12:25,487 I warn you, 1625 01:12:25,489 --> 01:12:27,456 you go poking around in her past, 1626 01:12:27,458 --> 01:12:30,327 you're gonna find some shit that is terrifying. 1627 01:12:30,329 --> 01:12:33,099 She was not a normal person like you or me. 1628 01:12:33,966 --> 01:12:35,432 Sean, it's Stephanie... 1629 01:12:35,434 --> 01:12:37,233 I thought about what you said. 1630 01:12:37,235 --> 01:12:40,103 You're right. These are just stages of grief. 1631 01:12:40,105 --> 01:12:42,438 This experience has been so stressful for both of us, 1632 01:12:42,440 --> 01:12:44,040 I'm gonna take a couple of days to myself. 1633 01:12:44,042 --> 01:12:45,407 I'll have Sona pick up the boys, 1634 01:12:45,409 --> 01:12:46,675 and they can stay at her house tonight. 1635 01:12:46,677 --> 01:12:48,611 You should take some time, too. 1636 01:12:48,613 --> 01:12:50,045 There's ham stew in the freezer. 1637 01:12:50,047 --> 01:12:51,214 Five minutes in the microwave. 1638 01:12:51,216 --> 01:12:52,218 Lots of love. 1639 01:12:53,017 --> 01:12:54,451 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 1640 01:12:54,453 --> 01:12:56,318 MARYANNE: Yeah, we've been saving young souls 1641 01:12:56,320 --> 01:12:58,020 going on 50 years now. 1642 01:12:58,022 --> 01:12:59,656 Not Bobby and me personally. 1643 01:12:59,658 --> 01:13:01,523 Well, it seems just perfect! 1644 01:13:01,525 --> 01:13:03,126 And my son's practically a porpoise, 1645 01:13:03,128 --> 01:13:05,295 so I know he's gonna love swimming in that pond. 1646 01:13:05,297 --> 01:13:06,395 That's Squaw Lake! 1647 01:13:06,397 --> 01:13:09,198 The kids all joke that it's holy water. 1648 01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:10,633 (LAUGHS) Any fish you pull out of there 1649 01:13:10,635 --> 01:13:12,202 is guaranteed to feed a multitude. 1650 01:13:12,204 --> 01:13:14,069 - (ALL LAUGHING) - Oh! Oh. That's so funny. 1651 01:13:14,071 --> 01:13:15,304 Yeah. 1652 01:13:15,306 --> 01:13:19,041 Um... Have you guys got any old photo albums 1653 01:13:19,043 --> 01:13:21,143 or a yearbook I could look at? 1654 01:13:21,145 --> 01:13:22,644 I always feel like there's no better review 1655 01:13:22,646 --> 01:13:24,546 of a place than the faces of the campers. 1656 01:13:24,548 --> 01:13:27,050 Oh, heck, yeah. We got a ton of 'em down in the basement. 1657 01:13:27,052 --> 01:13:28,387 You'll see nothing but smiles. 1658 01:13:36,595 --> 01:13:38,064 (SIGHS) 1659 01:13:52,144 --> 01:13:53,579 Hope and Faith. 1660 01:13:56,347 --> 01:14:00,215 STEPHANIE: Hi. I'm looking for the McLanden Foundation. 1661 01:14:00,217 --> 01:14:02,218 Is this Margaret McLanden? 1662 01:14:02,220 --> 01:14:03,420 MARGARET: Who's this? 1663 01:14:03,422 --> 01:14:06,555 Yeah. Hi, there. My name's Maryanne Chelkowsky. 1664 01:14:06,557 --> 01:14:09,125 I'm the director of the Squaw Lake Bible Camp. 1665 01:14:09,127 --> 01:14:10,160 What do you want? 1666 01:14:10,162 --> 01:14:12,828 Well, we are putting together the 50th anniversary 1667 01:14:12,830 --> 01:14:14,430 edition of our camp gazette. 1668 01:14:14,432 --> 01:14:16,398 We're trying to track down some star alumni. 1669 01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:19,768 Are you any relation to Hope and Faith McLanden? 1670 01:14:19,770 --> 01:14:22,104 - BRUCE: Hello. - Bruce, it's that camp. 1671 01:14:22,106 --> 01:14:24,474 The girls must have done something again and God... 1672 01:14:24,476 --> 01:14:25,742 BRUCE: Girls are long gone, Mrs. M. 1673 01:14:25,744 --> 01:14:26,809 You just go on back to your chair. 1674 01:14:26,811 --> 01:14:28,478 MARGARET: But it's filthy there, Bruce. 1675 01:14:28,480 --> 01:14:29,578 I've asked you a... 1676 01:14:29,580 --> 01:14:31,050 - (LINE DISCONNECTS) - Gotcha. 1677 01:14:32,217 --> 01:14:34,086 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 1678 01:15:00,544 --> 01:15:01,780 (DOOR OPENS) 1679 01:15:06,784 --> 01:15:08,620 - (TRUCK DOOR CLOSES) - (ENGINE STARTING) 1680 01:15:14,426 --> 01:15:15,727 (SIGHS) Take your time, Bruce. 1681 01:15:18,129 --> 01:15:19,297 (THUNDER CONTINUES RUMBLING) 1682 01:15:28,839 --> 01:15:30,075 (KNOCKS ON DOOR) 1683 01:15:32,343 --> 01:15:33,412 (DOOR OPENS) 1684 01:15:37,915 --> 01:15:39,351 Mrs. McLanden? 1685 01:15:41,186 --> 01:15:43,122 Hi, I'm Gloria from the cleaning service. 1686 01:15:43,488 --> 01:15:44,586 Who? 1687 01:15:44,588 --> 01:15:45,487 Didn't Bruce tell you? 1688 01:15:45,489 --> 01:15:46,788 I'm supposed to clean the entire place 1689 01:15:46,790 --> 01:15:47,857 until you could eat 1690 01:15:47,859 --> 01:15:49,791 a four-course meal off the floor. 1691 01:15:49,793 --> 01:15:51,227 Did I get the date... 1692 01:15:51,229 --> 01:15:52,731 Shoot! 1693 01:15:53,330 --> 01:15:54,600 (DOOR OPENS) 1694 01:15:56,168 --> 01:15:58,137 Start in my upstairs bathroom. 1695 01:16:03,909 --> 01:16:05,845 (WHISPERS) It's not lying if I'm actually cleaning. 1696 01:16:23,595 --> 01:16:24,727 MARGARET: Bruce! 1697 01:16:24,729 --> 01:16:26,132 The fire's dying! 1698 01:16:27,632 --> 01:16:28,801 Bruce! 1699 01:16:40,744 --> 01:16:43,313 - (MUSIC PLAYING) - (CAT MEOWS) 1700 01:16:43,315 --> 01:16:45,380 I couldn't help noticing that 1701 01:16:45,382 --> 01:16:46,918 lovely picture of your daughters. 1702 01:16:49,320 --> 01:16:50,687 Where's Bruce? 1703 01:16:50,689 --> 01:16:51,920 - Bruce! - Oh, um... 1704 01:16:51,922 --> 01:16:54,225 Bruce had to go out. Um... 1705 01:16:54,592 --> 01:16:55,760 So, 1706 01:16:56,695 --> 01:16:57,993 your daughter, Faith... 1707 01:16:57,995 --> 01:16:59,595 She had some trouble, I gather? 1708 01:16:59,597 --> 01:17:00,763 Troubles! 1709 01:17:00,765 --> 01:17:02,465 (SCOFFS) 1710 01:17:02,467 --> 01:17:04,537 Troubles would've been a vacation. 1711 01:17:05,971 --> 01:17:08,871 That child came straight from hell. 1712 01:17:08,873 --> 01:17:11,707 That's a very strong statement for a mother. 1713 01:17:11,709 --> 01:17:13,276 Are you a mother? 1714 01:17:13,278 --> 01:17:16,712 Yes. I love every minute of it. 1715 01:17:16,714 --> 01:17:18,480 Aww. (CHUCKLES) 1716 01:17:18,482 --> 01:17:19,717 Then you must have brain damage. 1717 01:17:20,552 --> 01:17:22,417 It's a thankless business. 1718 01:17:22,419 --> 01:17:25,554 And some children are just born rotten. 1719 01:17:25,556 --> 01:17:28,791 They don't need a parent. They need an exorcist. 1720 01:17:28,793 --> 01:17:30,896 My husband understood that. 1721 01:17:33,364 --> 01:17:35,031 Now, wait. Don't tell Bruce! 1722 01:17:35,033 --> 01:17:37,000 - No. - Bingo! (LAUGHS) 1723 01:17:37,002 --> 01:17:39,838 It's unseemly, the way that man polices me. 1724 01:17:40,672 --> 01:17:42,037 Would you like some sherry? 1725 01:17:42,039 --> 01:17:43,973 Oh, no, thank you. You're very sweet. 1726 01:17:43,975 --> 01:17:46,276 Wait, that's... (SNIFFS) 1727 01:17:46,278 --> 01:17:49,011 That's not sherry. That's the gin. 1728 01:17:49,013 --> 01:17:50,345 Where's the sherry? 1729 01:17:50,347 --> 01:17:52,048 Must be behind the Sylvia Plath. 1730 01:17:52,050 --> 01:17:53,718 What ever happened to Faith? 1731 01:17:54,552 --> 01:17:55,917 Oh, everything. Everything. 1732 01:17:55,919 --> 01:17:59,589 We spent so much money on her rehab. 1733 01:17:59,591 --> 01:18:01,890 Hope tried to help take care of her 1734 01:18:01,892 --> 01:18:05,327 and get her off that stuff. 1735 01:18:05,329 --> 01:18:08,497 Of course, Hope's a born liar with terrible posture. 1736 01:18:08,499 --> 01:18:09,831 Uh, Mrs. McLanden? 1737 01:18:09,833 --> 01:18:13,404 Do you know the person in this photograph? 1738 01:18:16,307 --> 01:18:18,875 That's Faith. That's Faith! 1739 01:18:18,877 --> 01:18:20,742 Now, why're you... Did she send you? 1740 01:18:20,744 --> 01:18:22,745 - No, I'm not even sure... - Are you the police? 1741 01:18:22,747 --> 01:18:23,946 No, I'm just ask... 1742 01:18:23,948 --> 01:18:25,682 I have told you people a thousand times. 1743 01:18:25,684 --> 01:18:29,385 My memory is not good anymore. It will not stand up in court. 1744 01:18:29,387 --> 01:18:30,652 The night of that fire, 1745 01:18:30,654 --> 01:18:32,654 my husband and I were estranged. 1746 01:18:32,656 --> 01:18:34,357 We lived in separate wings of the house. 1747 01:18:34,359 --> 01:18:37,093 The fire that burned down the west wing? 1748 01:18:37,095 --> 01:18:38,763 Are you an insurance agent? 1749 01:18:39,596 --> 01:18:40,830 Yes. 1750 01:18:40,832 --> 01:18:42,532 Oh! (LAUGHS) 1751 01:18:42,534 --> 01:18:45,535 Oh, good! Oh, good, good. 1752 01:18:45,537 --> 01:18:46,768 Oh, Bruce and I have been waiting 1753 01:18:46,770 --> 01:18:48,337 for the insurance money. 1754 01:18:48,339 --> 01:18:51,808 Of course, you assholes had that clause about arson. 1755 01:18:51,810 --> 01:18:54,077 - Arson. Yeah. - Vultures. 1756 01:18:54,079 --> 01:18:56,011 Here's to being house poor! 1757 01:18:56,013 --> 01:18:58,348 You ain't supposed to be drinking, Mrs. M. 1758 01:18:58,350 --> 01:18:59,615 - Who are you? - Well, uh... 1759 01:18:59,617 --> 01:19:02,617 Thank you so much for your time, Mrs. McLanden. 1760 01:19:02,619 --> 01:19:05,121 I will get you that faux Givenchy suit in ivory 1761 01:19:05,123 --> 01:19:07,490 and the scarf in taupe. 1762 01:19:07,492 --> 01:19:09,992 I will put a rush on it! Thank you for your order! 1763 01:19:09,994 --> 01:19:11,797 - Shit. Okay. - (ENGINE STARTING) 1764 01:19:32,684 --> 01:19:33,718 (GASPS) 1765 01:19:48,833 --> 01:19:50,436 Where do you think you're going? 1766 01:19:51,136 --> 01:19:52,434 Uh... 1767 01:19:52,436 --> 01:19:54,739 I wanted to order the navy blazer. 1768 01:19:55,806 --> 01:19:57,408 Extra large. 1769 01:19:57,941 --> 01:19:58,944 Great. 1770 01:20:02,079 --> 01:20:03,781 (SIGHS) 1771 01:20:04,783 --> 01:20:05,947 Hello. 1772 01:20:05,949 --> 01:20:07,416 What do you want, cupcake? 1773 01:20:07,418 --> 01:20:09,719 I'm looking for all the Wayne County 1774 01:20:09,721 --> 01:20:10,819 arson-related news items 1775 01:20:10,821 --> 01:20:12,056 for the last 20 years. 1776 01:20:21,699 --> 01:20:23,765 Hi, moms, Stephanie here. 1777 01:20:23,767 --> 01:20:26,102 I'm coming to you from Michigan. 1778 01:20:26,104 --> 01:20:28,673 Special on-the-road edition. 1779 01:20:30,809 --> 01:20:32,508 As many of you know, 1780 01:20:32,510 --> 01:20:34,010 I was struggling to find closure 1781 01:20:34,012 --> 01:20:36,179 surrounding the death of my best friend. 1782 01:20:36,181 --> 01:20:38,915 So I drove up to the lake where she drowned 1783 01:20:38,917 --> 01:20:42,818 to see if I could dredge something up. 1784 01:20:42,820 --> 01:20:44,219 Oh, shit. 1785 01:20:44,221 --> 01:20:45,087 Well, it turns out 1786 01:20:45,089 --> 01:20:47,657 this is the site of many a canoe race 1787 01:20:47,659 --> 01:20:49,591 at the Squaw Lake Bible Camp. 1788 01:20:49,593 --> 01:20:51,960 I had to dig through a bunch of camp journals, 1789 01:20:51,962 --> 01:20:55,764 and I found a photo of Emily, 1790 01:20:55,766 --> 01:20:58,067 whose middle name is Claudia. 1791 01:20:58,069 --> 01:20:59,535 Not pretty I didn't know that. 1792 01:20:59,537 --> 01:21:02,938 You crazy fucking bitch. 1793 01:21:02,940 --> 01:21:05,140 It's like looking at an angel, isn't it, moms? 1794 01:21:05,142 --> 01:21:06,908 Brotherfucker. 1795 01:21:06,910 --> 01:21:08,944 And it gave me the closure I needed. 1796 01:21:08,946 --> 01:21:11,214 I feel closer to Emily than I've ever felt. 1797 01:21:11,216 --> 01:21:13,148 Almost like a twin. 1798 01:21:13,150 --> 01:21:14,919 Emily, wherever you are, 1799 01:21:16,753 --> 01:21:19,425 I hope that you're listening. 1800 01:21:20,557 --> 01:21:22,026 And you gotta have faith. 1801 01:21:23,727 --> 01:21:26,164 - Brotherfucker! - (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1802 01:21:27,899 --> 01:21:29,001 (GRUNTS) 1803 01:21:36,274 --> 01:21:37,974 ♪ Things that we need 1804 01:21:37,976 --> 01:21:39,575 ♪ Money, clothes, Weed, indeed 1805 01:21:39,577 --> 01:21:41,844 ♪ Hats, food, booze Essentials, credentials 1806 01:21:41,846 --> 01:21:44,212 ♪ Code of the streets Owners who creep 1807 01:21:44,214 --> 01:21:46,648 ♪ Slow when you sleep Holdin' the heat 1808 01:21:46,650 --> 01:21:48,984 ♪ Put holes in your jeep Respect the streets 1809 01:21:48,986 --> 01:21:52,457 ♪ It's the L-I-L-F-A-M-E ♪ 1810 01:21:53,156 --> 01:21:55,157 Mom's home! 1811 01:21:55,159 --> 01:21:57,059 Oh, Smoochie-smooch? 1812 01:21:57,061 --> 01:21:57,993 (GASPS) Oh, my goodness! 1813 01:21:57,995 --> 01:21:59,832 - Smooch, I missed you so much! - (KISSES) 1814 01:22:00,531 --> 01:22:01,497 Where were you? 1815 01:22:01,499 --> 01:22:03,965 And why did we have to sleep at Hector's house? 1816 01:22:03,967 --> 01:22:05,201 He pees the bed! 1817 01:22:05,203 --> 01:22:07,202 Oh! Hector's the worst! 1818 01:22:07,204 --> 01:22:08,673 They could've stayed with me, you know. 1819 01:22:10,275 --> 01:22:12,140 I thought we all needed a breather. 1820 01:22:12,142 --> 01:22:13,811 Now I feel like a million bucks. 1821 01:22:14,212 --> 01:22:15,647 Maybe even four. 1822 01:22:16,314 --> 01:22:18,016 (DIALING CELL PHONE) 1823 01:22:18,850 --> 01:22:20,750 Hi, my name's Beth. 1824 01:22:20,752 --> 01:22:22,818 I'm calling on behalf of my boss, Sean Townsend, 1825 01:22:22,820 --> 01:22:24,886 about his wife, Emily Nelson's policy. 1826 01:22:24,888 --> 01:22:30,760 The number is CT7602258001. 1827 01:22:30,762 --> 01:22:31,827 Can you tell me the name of the agent 1828 01:22:31,829 --> 01:22:33,027 who handles that account, please? 1829 01:22:33,029 --> 01:22:35,163 Dear Miss Prager, my name is Bruce Hargrave. 1830 01:22:35,165 --> 01:22:36,898 I'm writing to you about a case you're handling 1831 01:22:36,900 --> 01:22:38,968 for Emily Nelson, recently deceased. 1832 01:22:38,970 --> 01:22:40,036 I have been the caretaker 1833 01:22:40,038 --> 01:22:41,903 of her family estate for many years. 1834 01:22:41,905 --> 01:22:43,171 What I have to say will sound crazy, 1835 01:22:43,173 --> 01:22:45,340 but years ago, my employer died in a house fire. 1836 01:22:45,342 --> 01:22:47,175 His teen daughters, Hope and Faith McLanden, 1837 01:22:47,177 --> 01:22:48,710 disappeared without a trace. 1838 01:22:48,712 --> 01:22:49,812 I'm attaching an old photo. 1839 01:22:49,814 --> 01:22:51,212 Hi, this is Sean Townsend. 1840 01:22:51,214 --> 01:22:52,751 I was meant to meet Billy Kent for lunch. 1841 01:22:54,319 --> 01:22:55,850 What do you mean? 1842 01:22:55,852 --> 01:22:58,089 You guys called two days ago to organize this. 1843 01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:04,026 No, never mind. 1844 01:23:04,028 --> 01:23:05,163 I'll call him back. 1845 01:23:05,963 --> 01:23:06,964 Boo. 1846 01:23:12,637 --> 01:23:13,868 Oh, come on, you dumb shit. 1847 01:23:13,870 --> 01:23:15,004 We've spent every anniversary here. 1848 01:23:15,006 --> 01:23:16,307 How could you not put it together? 1849 01:23:16,841 --> 01:23:18,307 Emily, why? 1850 01:23:18,309 --> 01:23:20,041 I have four million reasons why. 1851 01:23:20,043 --> 01:23:21,876 How could you do this to Nicky? 1852 01:23:21,878 --> 01:23:23,179 I did this for Nicky. 1853 01:23:23,181 --> 01:23:25,380 I hated that job. I never got to see him. 1854 01:23:25,382 --> 01:23:27,116 It's not like we could live off your faculty buffet 1855 01:23:27,118 --> 01:23:29,151 the rest of our lives, could we? 1856 01:23:29,153 --> 01:23:30,920 I grieved your death. 1857 01:23:30,922 --> 01:23:32,921 I understand. 1858 01:23:32,923 --> 01:23:34,823 You're not alone. They say that 1859 01:23:34,825 --> 01:23:36,992 90% of people who lose their spouse 1860 01:23:36,994 --> 01:23:39,094 end up sleeping with their spouse's best friend 1861 01:23:39,096 --> 01:23:40,696 after their funeral, actually. 1862 01:23:40,698 --> 01:23:41,663 Really? 1863 01:23:41,665 --> 01:23:45,001 No, I just made that up, you fucking dick. 1864 01:23:45,003 --> 01:23:46,635 That's how you grieve? 1865 01:23:46,637 --> 01:23:48,336 Balls deep in my best friend? 1866 01:23:48,338 --> 01:23:49,371 You could've told me something. 1867 01:23:49,373 --> 01:23:51,674 Except you can't keep a secret, even in the dark. 1868 01:23:51,676 --> 01:23:54,012 - Anything. - You almost ruined everything. 1869 01:23:55,980 --> 01:23:57,679 I had to lay low until the insurance money 1870 01:23:57,681 --> 01:23:58,615 came through. 1871 01:23:58,617 --> 01:24:01,384 And so why didn't you stay low? Hmm? 1872 01:24:01,386 --> 01:24:03,786 Instead, you terrorized our son. 1873 01:24:03,788 --> 01:24:04,754 I didn't terrorize him. 1874 01:24:04,756 --> 01:24:06,154 You made me think that he had gone insane 1875 01:24:06,156 --> 01:24:08,023 as well as Stephanie. 1876 01:24:08,025 --> 01:24:09,925 I missed him too much. 1877 01:24:09,927 --> 01:24:11,196 He's my little dude. 1878 01:24:12,296 --> 01:24:13,865 You know how much I love that kid. 1879 01:24:15,033 --> 01:24:16,098 (EMILY SIGHS) 1880 01:24:16,100 --> 01:24:17,733 Well, the clock is ticking now. 1881 01:24:17,735 --> 01:24:19,934 Nancy Drew knows too much. 1882 01:24:19,936 --> 01:24:21,903 If she fucks up my insurance money coming through, 1883 01:24:21,905 --> 01:24:23,371 I'm taking you down with me. 1884 01:24:23,373 --> 01:24:24,974 You're taking me down with you? 1885 01:24:24,976 --> 01:24:26,408 Well, of course, this was all your plan. 1886 01:24:26,410 --> 01:24:27,843 My plan? 1887 01:24:27,845 --> 01:24:29,210 I had nothing to do with it... 1888 01:24:29,212 --> 01:24:30,412 Why are you playing dumb now? 1889 01:24:30,414 --> 01:24:32,081 ...you twisted fucking psycho. 1890 01:24:32,083 --> 01:24:33,251 - I don't know where... - (GUN COCKS) 1891 01:24:36,087 --> 01:24:37,955 What were you saying about me being a fucking psycho? 1892 01:24:39,257 --> 01:24:40,822 Do you love her? 1893 01:24:40,824 --> 01:24:42,992 No. It was just sex. 1894 01:24:42,994 --> 01:24:45,764 Did you think of me when you were fucking her? 1895 01:24:46,029 --> 01:24:47,031 Yes. 1896 01:24:49,867 --> 01:24:51,466 Do you love me or not, baby? 1897 01:24:51,468 --> 01:24:53,169 Of course I do. 1898 01:24:53,171 --> 01:24:54,937 She doesn't mean a thing to me. 1899 01:24:54,939 --> 01:24:56,171 Good. 1900 01:24:56,173 --> 01:24:58,273 (GUN CLICKS) 1901 01:24:58,275 --> 01:25:00,108 - (BREATHING HEAVILY) - Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 1902 01:25:00,110 --> 01:25:01,309 I forgot to load it. 1903 01:25:01,311 --> 01:25:02,978 Fuck. Oh, God. 1904 01:25:02,980 --> 01:25:05,081 Can you imagine if I would've, though? 1905 01:25:05,083 --> 01:25:06,247 What a mess. 1906 01:25:06,249 --> 01:25:08,084 Emily, you're crazy. 1907 01:25:08,086 --> 01:25:10,419 Hey, it's pretty simple. You know? 1908 01:25:10,421 --> 01:25:12,324 It's your choice. Her or me? 1909 01:25:13,190 --> 01:25:14,392 It's not that hard. 1910 01:25:16,327 --> 01:25:17,329 Hey. 1911 01:25:17,895 --> 01:25:19,228 Stop it. 1912 01:25:19,230 --> 01:25:21,362 You love this. 1913 01:25:21,364 --> 01:25:23,734 Meet me in the bathroom in 20 seconds. 1914 01:25:25,736 --> 01:25:27,004 Knock twice. 1915 01:25:36,814 --> 01:25:38,950 (WOMEN CHATTERING) 1916 01:25:40,784 --> 01:25:41,850 STEPHANIE: There he is now. 1917 01:25:41,852 --> 01:25:45,220 Mr. Townsend, Isabel Prager, Addison First Insurance. 1918 01:25:45,222 --> 01:25:46,921 I'm investigating the death benefit claim 1919 01:25:46,923 --> 01:25:48,193 for your late wife. 1920 01:25:51,796 --> 01:25:52,798 Sean, 1921 01:25:53,998 --> 01:25:55,901 did you know that Emily had a twin? 1922 01:25:58,535 --> 01:26:00,068 No, but... 1923 01:26:00,070 --> 01:26:01,871 Well, I hate to even say this, 1924 01:26:01,873 --> 01:26:03,339 but it means the body in the lake 1925 01:26:03,341 --> 01:26:05,273 could be this sister. 1926 01:26:05,275 --> 01:26:06,975 ISABEL: It could explain the DNA match. 1927 01:26:06,977 --> 01:26:08,077 And if that's the case, 1928 01:26:08,079 --> 01:26:10,315 then where is Emily? 1929 01:26:14,918 --> 01:26:17,553 If my wife was still alive, she'd come home. 1930 01:26:17,555 --> 01:26:18,757 She'd wanna see her son. 1931 01:26:21,292 --> 01:26:22,558 I'm not a cop, 1932 01:26:22,560 --> 01:26:24,393 and I'm definitely no therapist, 1933 01:26:24,395 --> 01:26:26,895 I'm just an insurance guy. (INHALES) 1934 01:26:26,897 --> 01:26:29,932 But this is an incredibly interesting case. 1935 01:26:29,934 --> 01:26:32,167 This is just bananas, isn't it? 1936 01:26:32,169 --> 01:26:34,002 - Yeah. - ISABEL: I will say, 1937 01:26:34,004 --> 01:26:35,403 it's unusual 1938 01:26:35,405 --> 01:26:37,206 to live with someone as husband and wife 1939 01:26:37,208 --> 01:26:38,474 and not know that they have a twin. 1940 01:26:38,476 --> 01:26:40,442 She was a very private person. 1941 01:26:40,444 --> 01:26:43,545 Well, hey, we all have our secrets. 1942 01:26:43,547 --> 01:26:45,880 - (LAUGHS) - (CHUCKLES) 1943 01:26:45,882 --> 01:26:47,349 But, as I'm sure you can understand, 1944 01:26:47,351 --> 01:26:48,884 with a payment of this size, 1945 01:26:48,886 --> 01:26:50,952 we'll have to continue this claims investigation. 1946 01:26:50,954 --> 01:26:52,054 Of course. 1947 01:26:52,056 --> 01:26:54,156 And, by law, give all our findings 1948 01:26:54,158 --> 01:26:55,357 to the authorities. 1949 01:26:55,359 --> 01:26:57,126 Of course, anything you need. 1950 01:26:57,128 --> 01:26:59,260 I just hope that my wife is still alive. 1951 01:26:59,262 --> 01:27:00,265 I want her back. 1952 01:27:04,435 --> 01:27:06,068 Okey-dokey, then. 1953 01:27:06,070 --> 01:27:08,069 Obviously, if you do hear from her... 1954 01:27:08,071 --> 01:27:09,839 - You'll be the first to know. - Thank you so much! 1955 01:27:09,841 --> 01:27:11,877 Okay, thank you. Thanks for the coffee. 1956 01:27:13,311 --> 01:27:14,410 Bye-bye. 1957 01:27:14,412 --> 01:27:15,413 - Thank you so much again. - Thanks. 1958 01:27:17,013 --> 01:27:18,380 You knew that she had a twin. 1959 01:27:18,382 --> 01:27:19,581 Did I? 1960 01:27:19,583 --> 01:27:21,317 Why didn't you? 1961 01:27:21,319 --> 01:27:22,585 You knew and you didn't tell me. 1962 01:27:22,587 --> 01:27:23,789 Sean, (SCOFFS) 1963 01:27:24,555 --> 01:27:26,057 you sound crazy. 1964 01:27:27,490 --> 01:27:28,827 Take a Xanax. 1965 01:27:29,392 --> 01:27:31,292 Take two. 1966 01:27:31,294 --> 01:27:33,161 Hi, moms. Stephanie here. 1967 01:27:33,163 --> 01:27:35,598 Today, we're talking about tombstone tributes. 1968 01:27:35,600 --> 01:27:37,198 I want to thank Helen from Missoula, Montana, 1969 01:27:37,200 --> 01:27:38,334 for the suggestions. 1970 01:27:38,336 --> 01:27:40,501 For thinking outside the box. 1971 01:27:40,503 --> 01:27:44,105 You know, it doesn't have to just be flowers anymore. 1972 01:27:44,107 --> 01:27:49,510 I think any item that sparks a fond memory is perfect. 1973 01:27:49,512 --> 01:27:52,180 Emily's favorite treat was a dry gin martini 1974 01:27:52,182 --> 01:27:53,448 in the late afternoon. 1975 01:27:53,450 --> 01:27:56,452 I'm gonna make a couple just like Emily used to. 1976 01:27:56,454 --> 01:27:59,087 Frozen gin, frozen glass, 1977 01:27:59,089 --> 01:28:00,990 generous twist. 1978 01:28:00,992 --> 01:28:02,927 I'm gonna head out there a little later today. 1979 01:28:04,028 --> 01:28:05,497 Have a toast on her grave. 1980 01:28:10,133 --> 01:28:12,037 Nice, big twist. I taught you well. 1981 01:28:12,936 --> 01:28:14,372 Student's become the master. 1982 01:28:15,038 --> 01:28:17,074 Ooh, wisdom. 1983 01:28:18,409 --> 01:28:20,341 Hey, give me that. 1984 01:28:20,343 --> 01:28:21,911 I don't know what tricks you have 1985 01:28:21,913 --> 01:28:24,013 up those new sleeves of yours. 1986 01:28:24,015 --> 01:28:25,648 You think I poisoned both drinks? 1987 01:28:25,650 --> 01:28:26,985 That's not my style. 1988 01:28:27,551 --> 01:28:29,254 I don't even eat gluten. 1989 01:28:32,390 --> 01:28:33,992 - Want another? - Please. 1990 01:28:35,493 --> 01:28:36,658 First, tell me why 1991 01:28:36,660 --> 01:28:38,327 you killed your father and sister. 1992 01:28:38,329 --> 01:28:39,929 Okay, why don't we first talk about 1993 01:28:39,931 --> 01:28:41,296 your son's real father? 1994 01:28:41,298 --> 01:28:44,099 Oh! Emily, I hold all the cards here. 1995 01:28:44,101 --> 01:28:45,567 I wanna know about your twin, Faith. 1996 01:28:45,569 --> 01:28:46,702 I'm not a twin. 1997 01:28:46,704 --> 01:28:48,536 Great, I know that you are. 1998 01:28:48,538 --> 01:28:50,205 We were triplets. 1999 01:28:50,207 --> 01:28:52,474 Faith, Hope, and Charity. Charity was stillborn. 2000 01:28:52,476 --> 01:28:53,575 Mom thought we offed her 2001 01:28:53,577 --> 01:28:54,643 - in the womb. - Hmm. 2002 01:28:54,645 --> 01:28:56,577 Dad believed her. 2003 01:28:56,579 --> 01:28:58,482 She's quite a woman, your mother. 2004 01:28:59,617 --> 01:29:01,250 I had a nice afternoon with Mags. 2005 01:29:01,252 --> 01:29:03,117 You met my mother? 2006 01:29:03,119 --> 01:29:05,219 She likes her martinis even stronger than yours. 2007 01:29:05,221 --> 01:29:07,956 We had a little walk down memory lane. 2008 01:29:07,958 --> 01:29:09,692 She's a cold woman, Em. 2009 01:29:09,694 --> 01:29:12,594 Bet you couldn't do anything right in her eyes. 2010 01:29:12,596 --> 01:29:14,964 It was probably Faith's idea to set the fire. 2011 01:29:14,966 --> 01:29:16,631 But then, all the bad ideas were Faith's, weren't they? 2012 01:29:16,633 --> 01:29:18,666 - You don't know anything. - Sure I do. 2013 01:29:18,668 --> 01:29:20,301 And I get it. 2014 01:29:20,303 --> 01:29:22,170 You're 16. 2015 01:29:22,172 --> 01:29:24,675 It's that age where you feel so trapped. 2016 01:29:26,276 --> 01:29:29,013 Then, if your mother always had the biting comment... 2017 01:29:35,352 --> 01:29:37,385 - Faith, it's over. Let's go! - Dad! Dad! 2018 01:29:37,387 --> 01:29:39,621 - Dad! Don't touch me! - It's not my fault! 2019 01:29:39,623 --> 01:29:41,724 ...I'm guessing your father was more direct. 2020 01:29:41,726 --> 01:29:43,658 - (PUNCHING) - MR. McLANDEN: Whore! 2021 01:29:43,660 --> 01:29:45,728 - Never again! - Stop! 2022 01:29:45,730 --> 01:29:48,500 That's when you and Faith learned to hit the reset button, right? 2023 01:29:50,368 --> 01:29:51,500 Burn, baby, burn. 2024 01:29:51,502 --> 01:29:54,138 - (FIRE ROARING) - (MR. MCLANDEN SCREAMING) 2025 01:30:00,110 --> 01:30:01,343 Why'd you leave each other? 2026 01:30:01,345 --> 01:30:04,412 Well, we couldn't stay together after the fire. 2027 01:30:04,414 --> 01:30:06,447 The cops were looking for the big blonde arson twins. 2028 01:30:06,449 --> 01:30:08,153 We were a walking sideshow. 2029 01:30:09,320 --> 01:30:11,586 (ECHOING) Fuck off! 2030 01:30:11,588 --> 01:30:14,255 We had to say goodbye, so we did it with tattoos. 2031 01:30:14,257 --> 01:30:17,194 Flames, and a little something for Charity. 2032 01:30:22,365 --> 01:30:24,133 We split up in Corpus Christi. 2033 01:30:24,135 --> 01:30:25,267 She was gonna head south to Mexico, 2034 01:30:25,269 --> 01:30:27,236 I was gonna go north. 2035 01:30:27,238 --> 01:30:28,403 We set a time and place to meet 2036 01:30:28,405 --> 01:30:30,207 after the smoke cleared. 2037 01:30:31,307 --> 01:30:33,809 But then, she never showed up. 2038 01:30:33,811 --> 01:30:36,247 I was worried sick. I waited for days. 2039 01:30:37,047 --> 01:30:38,546 But nothing. 2040 01:30:38,548 --> 01:30:40,115 I thought maybe this is my opportunity 2041 01:30:40,117 --> 01:30:41,250 to do it on my own. 2042 01:30:41,252 --> 01:30:42,550 She was always getting me into trouble. 2043 01:30:42,552 --> 01:30:43,719 So I bought a one-way ticket to New York 2044 01:30:43,721 --> 01:30:45,120 and never looked back. 2045 01:30:45,122 --> 01:30:46,220 Did you miss her? 2046 01:30:46,222 --> 01:30:47,288 Of course I missed her. 2047 01:30:47,290 --> 01:30:48,791 I wasn't whole without her. 2048 01:30:48,793 --> 01:30:50,692 But I couldn't go on like that, I had to survive. 2049 01:30:50,694 --> 01:30:51,593 And it worked. 2050 01:30:51,595 --> 01:30:53,728 Yeah, my life in New York fell into place. 2051 01:30:53,730 --> 01:30:56,564 I got a job, worked my way up. 2052 01:30:56,566 --> 01:30:58,302 I met the perfect man. 2053 01:30:59,270 --> 01:31:01,135 Oh, you know that part, though. 2054 01:31:01,137 --> 01:31:02,571 Then your sister calls. 2055 01:31:02,573 --> 01:31:03,805 Fucking Facebook. 2056 01:31:03,807 --> 01:31:06,140 - You had to see her. - Yeah, of course I did. 2057 01:31:06,142 --> 01:31:09,344 So you fabricate this trip to Miami, 2058 01:31:09,346 --> 01:31:10,645 meet up at the old camp. 2059 01:31:10,647 --> 01:31:12,550 Camp bunk four, it was our happy place. 2060 01:31:15,186 --> 01:31:17,622 It was the only place we could escape our dad, really. 2061 01:31:26,329 --> 01:31:27,830 STEPHANIE: Must've been shocking 2062 01:31:27,832 --> 01:31:29,601 to see her after all those years. 2063 01:31:31,368 --> 01:31:34,236 EMILY: Yeah, it was like looking in the mirror. 2064 01:31:34,238 --> 01:31:36,737 Except at the sick life she chose over me. 2065 01:31:36,739 --> 01:31:38,340 STEPHANIE: What did she want? 2066 01:31:38,342 --> 01:31:39,344 EMILY: Everything. 2067 01:31:41,645 --> 01:31:43,245 Just gonna stand there? 2068 01:31:43,247 --> 01:31:44,345 (FAITH SCOFFS) 2069 01:31:44,347 --> 01:31:45,781 You gotta have Faith. 2070 01:31:45,783 --> 01:31:48,183 I don't hear from you for 14 years, 2071 01:31:48,185 --> 01:31:49,885 and now, here you are? 2072 01:31:49,887 --> 01:31:51,353 I'm out of cash. 2073 01:31:51,355 --> 01:31:52,357 Shocking. 2074 01:31:53,690 --> 01:31:55,359 The fuck did you say? 2075 01:31:58,262 --> 01:31:59,327 Nothing. 2076 01:31:59,329 --> 01:32:01,263 Get away with it this time. 2077 01:32:01,265 --> 01:32:02,730 Okay, so, um... 2078 01:32:02,732 --> 01:32:04,299 - Now what? - I don't know. 2079 01:32:04,301 --> 01:32:05,567 I didn't know where to go. 2080 01:32:05,569 --> 01:32:07,568 When I call, you act like a stranger. 2081 01:32:07,570 --> 01:32:09,438 Won't even let me come meet your family. 2082 01:32:09,440 --> 01:32:11,305 What am I supposed to say to them? 2083 01:32:11,307 --> 01:32:12,310 The truth? 2084 01:32:12,909 --> 01:32:15,176 Well, you may as well now 2085 01:32:15,178 --> 01:32:17,278 because I'm about to tell the cops. 2086 01:32:17,280 --> 01:32:18,380 You're what? 2087 01:32:18,382 --> 01:32:20,782 I don't know what else to do. 2088 01:32:20,784 --> 01:32:22,416 I don't have anything, 2089 01:32:22,418 --> 01:32:24,553 so I don't really have anything to lose. 2090 01:32:24,555 --> 01:32:26,420 I'm gonna go tell them everything we did. 2091 01:32:26,422 --> 01:32:28,290 And then we'll go down together. 2092 01:32:28,292 --> 01:32:29,424 We can be together again. 2093 01:32:29,426 --> 01:32:31,225 I have a little boy now. 2094 01:32:31,227 --> 01:32:33,862 Yeah, I know. I saw that kid. He's super cute. 2095 01:32:33,864 --> 01:32:35,397 Cut the shit, okay? 2096 01:32:35,399 --> 01:32:36,801 What do you want from me? 2097 01:32:38,869 --> 01:32:40,234 I want a million bucks. 2098 01:32:40,236 --> 01:32:41,502 How am I supposed to give you that? 2099 01:32:41,504 --> 01:32:42,737 You're rich and famous now. 2100 01:32:42,739 --> 01:32:44,508 I can't give you a million dollars. 2101 01:32:45,775 --> 01:32:47,341 You do seem highly motivated. 2102 01:32:47,343 --> 01:32:49,243 I don't know what it is, though. 2103 01:32:49,245 --> 01:32:50,411 It's your job, 2104 01:32:50,413 --> 01:32:52,346 probably your kid. 2105 01:32:52,348 --> 01:32:54,316 Don't talk about Nicky. 2106 01:32:54,318 --> 01:32:56,785 - (CHUCKLES) - Yeah, I'll, um... 2107 01:32:56,787 --> 01:33:00,255 I'll sell the house. I'll do whatever I need to do. 2108 01:33:00,257 --> 01:33:01,657 If I do this, you can't tell anyone ever. 2109 01:33:01,659 --> 01:33:02,660 Do you understand? 2110 01:33:03,427 --> 01:33:05,359 Yeah, I get it. 2111 01:33:05,361 --> 01:33:07,395 I mean, I don't really get the big deal about kids. 2112 01:33:07,397 --> 01:33:09,831 You could always just make another kid. 2113 01:33:09,833 --> 01:33:12,201 You know that, right? 2114 01:33:12,203 --> 01:33:13,571 You can't make another sister, though. 2115 01:33:15,405 --> 01:33:17,238 It's fucking hot. 2116 01:33:17,240 --> 01:33:19,374 Come on, let's go swimming. 2117 01:33:19,376 --> 01:33:21,146 Remember? Like we used to. 2118 01:33:22,413 --> 01:33:24,345 - You coming? - Yeah. 2119 01:33:24,347 --> 01:33:25,582 Right behind you. 2120 01:33:36,493 --> 01:33:37,759 STEPHANIE: How'd you get her in the lake? 2121 01:33:37,761 --> 01:33:39,428 EMILY: Fuck you. I didn't kill my sister. 2122 01:33:39,430 --> 01:33:40,464 That was her idea. 2123 01:33:46,436 --> 01:33:47,671 (FAITH LAUGHING) 2124 01:33:48,439 --> 01:33:49,908 Come on, wimp. 2125 01:33:51,809 --> 01:33:54,009 What? I thought you were the alpha now. 2126 01:33:54,011 --> 01:33:55,277 No? 2127 01:33:55,279 --> 01:33:56,915 I am the alpha, God damn it. 2128 01:34:05,388 --> 01:34:06,623 (CONTINUES LAUGHING) 2129 01:34:07,490 --> 01:34:08,760 (SPLASHES) 2130 01:34:14,030 --> 01:34:16,697 You abandoned me. 2131 01:34:16,699 --> 01:34:18,934 We were supposed to be a team, you and me. 2132 01:34:18,936 --> 01:34:20,035 Remember? 2133 01:34:20,037 --> 01:34:21,506 Yeah, I know we were. 2134 01:34:22,806 --> 01:34:25,376 But I just thought the only chance we had was alone. 2135 01:34:26,476 --> 01:34:27,711 You were right. 2136 01:34:28,445 --> 01:34:29,981 I'm sorry, kid. 2137 01:34:34,651 --> 01:34:35,653 Me, too. 2138 01:34:40,723 --> 01:34:41,859 (FAITH GASPS) 2139 01:35:31,507 --> 01:35:33,075 EMILY: I was so worried. 2140 01:35:33,077 --> 01:35:36,280 I woke up the next morning. I couldn't find her anywhere. 2141 01:35:37,948 --> 01:35:39,350 I never thought... 2142 01:35:41,118 --> 01:35:42,919 I never thought she'd do that, you know? 2143 01:35:45,855 --> 01:35:48,689 When I found her body in the lake, it was too late. 2144 01:35:48,691 --> 01:35:49,858 Lie. 2145 01:35:49,860 --> 01:35:50,925 You drowned her. 2146 01:35:50,927 --> 01:35:52,960 No, she killed herself. 2147 01:35:52,962 --> 01:35:54,595 I'm just all that's left of her. 2148 01:35:54,597 --> 01:35:56,031 No, you're a sister killer. 2149 01:35:56,033 --> 01:35:57,532 You're a brotherfucker. 2150 01:35:57,534 --> 01:35:58,800 Ooh! 2151 01:35:58,802 --> 01:36:00,368 What does Sean know? 2152 01:36:00,370 --> 01:36:01,471 Everything. 2153 01:36:02,373 --> 01:36:03,638 It was his idea. 2154 01:36:03,640 --> 01:36:05,506 I didn't know what to do once I found the body. 2155 01:36:05,508 --> 01:36:07,809 He said maybe this is our opportunity. 2156 01:36:07,811 --> 01:36:09,544 We could finally get out of debt. 2157 01:36:09,546 --> 01:36:10,615 Flee the country. 2158 01:36:11,582 --> 01:36:13,014 Spend more time with Nicky. 2159 01:36:13,016 --> 01:36:14,782 He convinced me we could pull it off. 2160 01:36:14,784 --> 01:36:16,651 That her DNA would do the rest. 2161 01:36:16,653 --> 01:36:18,920 I don't believe you. He grieved for you. 2162 01:36:18,922 --> 01:36:20,421 Oh, you believed that? 2163 01:36:20,423 --> 01:36:21,889 Aw, that was all an act. 2164 01:36:21,891 --> 01:36:23,591 You're a pathological liar. 2165 01:36:23,593 --> 01:36:24,895 Did Sean say that? 2166 01:36:26,730 --> 01:36:28,830 Cool. 2167 01:36:28,832 --> 01:36:31,035 I'm just gonna play you this tune real quick. 2168 01:36:34,637 --> 01:36:36,938 - EMILY: Do you love her? - SEAN: No. 2169 01:36:36,940 --> 01:36:38,273 It was just sex. 2170 01:36:38,275 --> 01:36:40,645 EMILY: Did you think of me when you were fucking her? 2171 01:36:41,177 --> 01:36:42,943 SEAN: Yes. 2172 01:36:42,945 --> 01:36:44,679 EMILY: Do you love me or not, baby? 2173 01:36:44,681 --> 01:36:46,480 SEAN: Of course I do. 2174 01:36:46,482 --> 01:36:48,450 She doesn't mean a thing to me. 2175 01:36:48,452 --> 01:36:50,887 I'm sorry, baby. I know you thought it was real. 2176 01:36:52,655 --> 01:36:54,790 But, hey, look on the bright side. 2177 01:36:54,792 --> 01:36:56,992 Your website went viral, thanks to me. 2178 01:36:56,994 --> 01:36:58,993 All this for a little money? 2179 01:36:58,995 --> 01:37:02,197 A little $4 million. (CHUCKLES) 2180 01:37:02,199 --> 01:37:04,965 That's not exactly little, huh? 2181 01:37:04,967 --> 01:37:06,867 I was hiding out till that money came in. 2182 01:37:06,869 --> 01:37:08,769 He was just gonna tie up some loose ends. 2183 01:37:08,771 --> 01:37:10,471 Was I a loose end? 2184 01:37:10,473 --> 01:37:12,107 Well, he needed help with Nicky. 2185 01:37:12,109 --> 01:37:13,908 You're so good with those kids. 2186 01:37:13,910 --> 01:37:16,178 So what happens now? 2187 01:37:16,180 --> 01:37:18,647 I just want my kid. 2188 01:37:18,649 --> 01:37:20,148 You fucked up my insurance plan. 2189 01:37:20,150 --> 01:37:22,017 The authorities won't back down on that. 2190 01:37:22,019 --> 01:37:23,117 You can have Sean. He's a piece of shit. 2191 01:37:23,119 --> 01:37:24,452 I don't even want him. 2192 01:37:24,454 --> 01:37:25,953 I don't want Sean. 2193 01:37:25,955 --> 01:37:27,425 Then I don't know, I guess there's... 2194 01:37:28,926 --> 01:37:30,428 There's another way, but 2195 01:37:31,195 --> 01:37:33,527 sort of one mother to another. 2196 01:37:33,529 --> 01:37:34,865 - (FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING) - (SEAN SNORING) 2197 01:37:37,900 --> 01:37:39,903 (WHISPERS) Sleeping like a log. 2198 01:37:59,021 --> 01:38:00,591 (MUSIC STOPS) 2199 01:38:07,564 --> 01:38:09,663 - Oh! - What's going on? 2200 01:38:09,665 --> 01:38:11,802 They have a warrant. I tried to call you. 2201 01:38:12,703 --> 01:38:14,702 Excuse me. I'm Sean Townsend. 2202 01:38:14,704 --> 01:38:16,505 Look, I'm happy to comply with anything you need. 2203 01:38:16,507 --> 01:38:18,840 But it would be nice to have a heads-up. 2204 01:38:18,842 --> 01:38:20,242 This is an open investigation. 2205 01:38:20,244 --> 01:38:22,547 You don't get to pencil us in when it's convenient. 2206 01:38:23,980 --> 01:38:25,849 (BRAKES SCREECHING) 2207 01:38:29,686 --> 01:38:30,822 Hey. 2208 01:38:31,855 --> 01:38:33,054 Am I under arrest? 2209 01:38:33,056 --> 01:38:35,624 Oh, no, not yet. The DA wants a slam dunk. 2210 01:38:35,626 --> 01:38:37,759 That's gonna be pretty hard since I haven't done anything. 2211 01:38:37,761 --> 01:38:38,995 Did you know your wife was alive? 2212 01:38:39,997 --> 01:38:41,129 Not until recently. 2213 01:38:41,131 --> 01:38:42,697 When? 2214 01:38:42,699 --> 01:38:44,032 She contacted me. 2215 01:38:44,034 --> 01:38:46,800 And you immediately notified the authorities, right? 2216 01:38:46,802 --> 01:38:48,670 I can't discuss this without my attorney. 2217 01:38:48,672 --> 01:38:50,738 You know what? You really are a professor, aren't you? 2218 01:38:50,740 --> 01:38:52,573 Okay, we'll talk soon. 2219 01:38:52,575 --> 01:38:54,742 Oh, uh, if we need to contact you, 2220 01:38:54,744 --> 01:38:56,814 will you be with your wife or the best friend? 2221 01:38:58,848 --> 01:39:00,150 Somebody else? 2222 01:39:09,927 --> 01:39:11,593 I need a stiff drink. Maybe some of your... 2223 01:39:11,595 --> 01:39:13,795 I'm sorry. You can't come in. 2224 01:39:13,797 --> 01:39:15,964 What? Where's Nicky? 2225 01:39:15,966 --> 01:39:17,331 He's upstairs playing. 2226 01:39:17,333 --> 01:39:19,667 - You have to go. - What are you talking about? 2227 01:39:19,669 --> 01:39:21,635 This is an ongoing investigation, Sean. 2228 01:39:21,637 --> 01:39:22,804 For fuck's sake. 2229 01:39:22,806 --> 01:39:23,871 I can't let you into this house 2230 01:39:23,873 --> 01:39:25,139 until this whole thing's been solved. 2231 01:39:25,141 --> 01:39:26,340 She's gotten to you, hasn't she? 2232 01:39:26,342 --> 01:39:27,809 This has nothing to do with Emily. 2233 01:39:27,811 --> 01:39:30,344 It's got everything to do with her. 2234 01:39:30,346 --> 01:39:31,947 She's gaslighting you. 2235 01:39:31,949 --> 01:39:33,881 You don't understand how powerful she is. 2236 01:39:33,883 --> 01:39:36,084 No, I don't understand anything right now. 2237 01:39:36,086 --> 01:39:37,618 Stephanie, don't do this. 2238 01:39:37,620 --> 01:39:39,556 Please don't make me call the police. 2239 01:39:46,163 --> 01:39:48,662 (CAR DOOR CLOSES) 2240 01:39:48,664 --> 01:39:50,667 (SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 2241 01:40:02,678 --> 01:40:04,981 (RINGING) 2242 01:40:17,628 --> 01:40:20,728 SEAN: Stephanie, please call me back. 2243 01:40:20,730 --> 01:40:22,063 I don't know what's going on 2244 01:40:22,065 --> 01:40:24,232 or how this is all going to turn out. 2245 01:40:24,234 --> 01:40:25,899 But you're a great mum, 2246 01:40:25,901 --> 01:40:28,303 and you taught me how to be a better dad. 2247 01:40:28,305 --> 01:40:31,206 For that, I'll always be grateful. 2248 01:40:31,208 --> 01:40:35,710 The truth is, I don't think I ever knew my wife. 2249 01:40:35,712 --> 01:40:37,615 Or what she's capable of. 2250 01:41:03,673 --> 01:41:05,342 (INAUDIBLE) 2251 01:41:12,415 --> 01:41:14,148 NEWS ANCHOR 1: A shocking new development 2252 01:41:14,150 --> 01:41:15,451 in the Emily Nelson case, 2253 01:41:15,453 --> 01:41:18,886 which first went viral on a popular Internet vlog. 2254 01:41:18,888 --> 01:41:20,955 The PR executive who was believed dead 2255 01:41:20,957 --> 01:41:22,357 in Michigan has resurfaced. 2256 01:41:22,359 --> 01:41:24,425 And it appears the body found in the lake 2257 01:41:24,427 --> 01:41:26,760 was that of Nelson's estranged twin sister. 2258 01:41:26,762 --> 01:41:28,962 Nelson's husband, Sean Townsend, 2259 01:41:28,964 --> 01:41:31,366 an abusive failed novelist and English professor 2260 01:41:31,368 --> 01:41:34,402 allegedly forced her to stage her own death 2261 01:41:34,404 --> 01:41:35,370 in order to collect 2262 01:41:35,372 --> 01:41:37,404 a $4 million life insurance policy. 2263 01:41:37,406 --> 01:41:38,540 NEWS ANCHOR 1: Nevertheless, 2264 01:41:38,542 --> 01:41:41,175 bail for Mr. Townsend will be set today. 2265 01:41:41,177 --> 01:41:42,344 NEWS ANCHOR 2: A British national, 2266 01:41:42,346 --> 01:41:44,312 Townsend faces deportation if found guilty. 2267 01:41:44,314 --> 01:41:46,246 Although an accomplice to fraud, 2268 01:41:46,248 --> 01:41:48,416 Ms. Nelson is complying with the authorities 2269 01:41:48,418 --> 01:41:50,054 in exchange for clemency. 2270 01:41:53,022 --> 01:41:54,290 SEAN: Stephanie? 2271 01:41:58,227 --> 01:41:59,827 Where's Nicky? 2272 01:41:59,829 --> 01:42:01,899 Oh, he's at a friend's house watching a movie. 2273 01:42:03,232 --> 01:42:05,403 I figured we needed some Mommy and Daddy time. 2274 01:42:07,404 --> 01:42:09,373 Have you forgotten me already? 2275 01:42:10,440 --> 01:42:12,143 You're impossible to forget. 2276 01:42:12,842 --> 01:42:14,010 Thank you. 2277 01:42:16,012 --> 01:42:17,348 (EMILY GIGGLES) 2278 01:42:19,348 --> 01:42:21,349 Oh, please, Sean, I'm not gonna poison you. 2279 01:42:21,351 --> 01:42:24,118 If I wanted to get rid of you, you'd already be dead. 2280 01:42:24,120 --> 01:42:25,922 You put those files in my computer. 2281 01:42:26,522 --> 01:42:28,790 Yes, I did. 2282 01:42:28,792 --> 01:42:30,224 But I did have help from a woman 2283 01:42:30,226 --> 01:42:32,095 who loves volunteering for everything. 2284 01:42:32,962 --> 01:42:34,129 SEAN: Stephanie. 2285 01:42:34,131 --> 01:42:36,764 She's not as sweet as her snatch, is she? 2286 01:42:36,766 --> 01:42:38,500 Were you ever gonna tell me you had a twin sister? 2287 01:42:38,502 --> 01:42:39,867 Wasn't your business. 2288 01:42:39,869 --> 01:42:41,169 I'm your husband! 2289 01:42:41,171 --> 01:42:42,437 You've been fucking my best friend 2290 01:42:42,439 --> 01:42:44,104 in my house, but now you're my husband? 2291 01:42:44,106 --> 01:42:45,273 Okay. 2292 01:42:45,275 --> 01:42:47,908 Then I should probably tell you that we were triplets. 2293 01:42:47,910 --> 01:42:49,109 The details. 2294 01:42:49,111 --> 01:42:50,114 STEPHANIE: Hi, moms! 2295 01:42:50,780 --> 01:42:52,082 Stephanie here. 2296 01:42:53,216 --> 01:42:54,482 I wanna thank you for all the love 2297 01:42:54,484 --> 01:42:55,916 and support you've been sending me. 2298 01:42:55,918 --> 01:42:57,087 Means so much. 2299 01:42:57,854 --> 01:42:58,989 Um... 2300 01:43:00,289 --> 01:43:03,424 You know, as shocked as you guys are 2301 01:43:03,426 --> 01:43:06,059 about these turns of events, 2302 01:43:06,061 --> 01:43:08,796 I can assure you, nobody is more stunned than me. 2303 01:43:08,798 --> 01:43:10,165 Emily had her secrets. 2304 01:43:10,167 --> 01:43:11,398 So did her husband. 2305 01:43:11,400 --> 01:43:14,001 Clearly, I was the naive romantic 2306 01:43:14,003 --> 01:43:15,870 caught in the middle. 2307 01:43:15,872 --> 01:43:18,505 I love you guys. I always will. 2308 01:43:18,507 --> 01:43:19,441 I hope you can forgive me 2309 01:43:19,443 --> 01:43:21,009 in advance for what I have to do. 2310 01:43:21,011 --> 01:43:23,814 Moms, do everything yourself. 2311 01:43:27,217 --> 01:43:28,416 EMILY: Stephanie. 2312 01:43:28,418 --> 01:43:29,951 You shouldn't be here right now. 2313 01:43:29,953 --> 01:43:32,019 I used to live here. Remember? 2314 01:43:32,021 --> 01:43:33,457 - Don't make this any hard... - Don't move. 2315 01:43:34,290 --> 01:43:35,426 (SCOFFS) 2316 01:43:36,392 --> 01:43:37,492 Stephanie, please. 2317 01:43:37,494 --> 01:43:39,426 You don't even let the boys play with squirt guns. 2318 01:43:39,428 --> 01:43:41,295 That was before you told me you loved me, 2319 01:43:41,297 --> 01:43:43,130 and it turned out you were laughing at me behind my back. 2320 01:43:43,132 --> 01:43:45,166 Stephanie, maybe we should take it down a notch. 2321 01:43:45,168 --> 01:43:46,867 You used me. 2322 01:43:46,869 --> 01:43:48,435 You used me, too. 2323 01:43:48,437 --> 01:43:50,505 But you had me making you dinner, 2324 01:43:50,507 --> 01:43:53,441 watching your kid, and sucking your dick. 2325 01:43:53,443 --> 01:43:55,309 I had no idea that she was still alive. 2326 01:43:55,311 --> 01:43:56,443 Stop lying. 2327 01:43:56,445 --> 01:43:58,212 Okay, you guys, I think we 2328 01:43:58,214 --> 01:43:59,947 should just sit down and talk this out. 2329 01:43:59,949 --> 01:44:02,517 Emily, you sit down. You hated Stephanie. 2330 01:44:02,519 --> 01:44:04,919 You used to watch her vlog and rip her apart. 2331 01:44:04,921 --> 01:44:06,487 All I wanted was to be your friend. 2332 01:44:06,489 --> 01:44:08,223 You were. 2333 01:44:08,225 --> 01:44:09,424 And then you fucked my husband 2334 01:44:09,426 --> 01:44:10,392 and my insurance plan. 2335 01:44:10,394 --> 01:44:13,327 Don't blame her. This is so typical of you. 2336 01:44:13,329 --> 01:44:15,929 Sean, I was just trying to get us out of crushing fucking debt. 2337 01:44:15,931 --> 01:44:18,599 Oh, yeah. Maybe if you had the good sense to give me a call, 2338 01:44:18,601 --> 01:44:20,535 I could've helped you with this little plot of yours. 2339 01:44:20,537 --> 01:44:21,635 Oh, please, you haven't come up 2340 01:44:21,637 --> 01:44:22,903 with a decent plot in 10 years. 2341 01:44:22,905 --> 01:44:24,304 Really? Right now? 2342 01:44:24,306 --> 01:44:27,008 Can I say something, as the lady with the gun? 2343 01:44:27,010 --> 01:44:28,542 Nicky deserves better than both of you. 2344 01:44:28,544 --> 01:44:29,911 Fuck you, I love my kid. 2345 01:44:29,913 --> 01:44:31,115 Shut up. 2346 01:44:32,414 --> 01:44:34,883 Stephanie, put down the gun. 2347 01:44:34,885 --> 01:44:36,317 You don't wanna do this. 2348 01:44:36,319 --> 01:44:38,189 I really do, though. 2349 01:44:40,422 --> 01:44:41,891 I loved you. 2350 01:44:43,293 --> 01:44:44,428 I loved you, too. 2351 01:44:47,230 --> 01:44:48,462 I think this is the best thing. 2352 01:44:48,464 --> 01:44:49,865 - (GUN COCKS) - Whoa. 2353 01:44:49,867 --> 01:44:52,332 Yeah, we could say he attacked us. They'll believe us, you know? 2354 01:44:52,334 --> 01:44:55,068 No, no, you're not fucking serious. You're not gonna kill him. 2355 01:44:55,070 --> 01:44:57,604 We're just gonna send him to jail. 2356 01:44:57,606 --> 01:45:00,073 Are you serious? Jail's enough for you? 2357 01:45:00,075 --> 01:45:02,277 - You don't need to kill him. - Aren't you angry? 2358 01:45:02,279 --> 01:45:04,077 Don't you want revenge for your sister? 2359 01:45:04,079 --> 01:45:06,947 Yeah, yes. But he didn't technically kill her. 2360 01:45:06,949 --> 01:45:08,549 Then who did? 2361 01:45:08,551 --> 01:45:11,021 Because I don't buy that it was an accident. 2362 01:45:13,589 --> 01:45:15,159 Screw this. 2363 01:45:15,958 --> 01:45:17,558 - (GROANS) - (GASPS) 2364 01:45:17,560 --> 01:45:19,193 Oh, my God! 2365 01:45:19,195 --> 01:45:21,161 - Fuck. - Oh, my God. Jesus. 2366 01:45:21,163 --> 01:45:23,096 Oh, my God. Um... 2367 01:45:23,098 --> 01:45:26,033 Oh, my God! Shit! Is he really dead? 2368 01:45:26,035 --> 01:45:28,568 Sean? I'm sorry. What do I do? 2369 01:45:28,570 --> 01:45:30,173 Do you put pressure on it? 2370 01:45:31,074 --> 01:45:32,173 Do we call an ambulance? 2371 01:45:32,175 --> 01:45:34,575 Do I just let him die? I mean... 2372 01:45:34,577 --> 01:45:36,376 He deserved it, right? 2373 01:45:36,378 --> 01:45:39,279 (CRYING) No, I killed her. I killed my sister. 2374 01:45:39,281 --> 01:45:40,380 What? 2375 01:45:40,382 --> 01:45:42,151 Sean? Sean! 2376 01:45:42,485 --> 01:45:43,487 Get up. 2377 01:45:46,021 --> 01:45:47,688 Show's over, come on. 2378 01:45:47,690 --> 01:45:50,191 Seriously? Come on. Get the fuck up. Hey! 2379 01:45:50,193 --> 01:45:51,658 (SEAN GROANS) You too, Brando. 2380 01:45:51,660 --> 01:45:53,060 Get up! 2381 01:45:53,062 --> 01:45:54,364 Fuck! 2382 01:45:58,601 --> 01:45:59,603 Wow. 2383 01:46:02,105 --> 01:46:04,237 That was extra. 2384 01:46:04,239 --> 01:46:06,407 I mean, obviously, I knew you guys were up to something, 2385 01:46:06,409 --> 01:46:08,009 when I saw both the mics 2386 01:46:08,011 --> 01:46:10,178 that you had the cops plant in here. 2387 01:46:10,180 --> 01:46:12,112 You clearly wanted a confession out of me, 2388 01:46:12,114 --> 01:46:13,680 so you could clear Sean's name. 2389 01:46:13,682 --> 01:46:17,184 But that was a good way to go about it. 2390 01:46:17,186 --> 01:46:19,120 And where you messed up, though, baby girl, 2391 01:46:19,122 --> 01:46:20,621 is thinking that I would confess 2392 01:46:20,623 --> 01:46:22,756 to protect that fucking yeast infection. 2393 01:46:22,758 --> 01:46:24,625 - (LAUGHS) Really? - All right. 2394 01:46:24,627 --> 01:46:26,693 Come on, you gotta know better than that. 2395 01:46:26,695 --> 01:46:30,163 - Oh. - But then you came in all emotional with the gun, 2396 01:46:30,165 --> 01:46:33,001 and that was... That was convincing. 2397 01:46:33,003 --> 01:46:34,167 Yeah. 2398 01:46:34,169 --> 01:46:35,169 It was very cinematic. 2399 01:46:35,171 --> 01:46:37,371 I don't even know where you find this shit. 2400 01:46:37,373 --> 01:46:38,773 You're really amazing. 2401 01:46:38,775 --> 01:46:40,311 Thanks. That means a lot. 2402 01:46:41,343 --> 01:46:43,379 But you did confess, Emily. 2403 01:46:44,146 --> 01:46:47,150 Oh. Yeah. Um... 2404 01:46:48,450 --> 01:46:51,786 I did. But I cut these first, though. 2405 01:46:51,788 --> 01:46:54,054 For our friendship bracelets. 2406 01:46:54,056 --> 01:46:55,756 One for you! 2407 01:46:55,758 --> 01:46:59,126 That is disappointing. 2408 01:46:59,128 --> 01:47:02,462 Oh! My God! Look what I found. (SCOFFS) 2409 01:47:02,464 --> 01:47:03,563 (GUN COCKS) 2410 01:47:03,565 --> 01:47:07,602 Okay. You can't shoot us. The police are outside. 2411 01:47:07,604 --> 01:47:09,804 No, they're not. 2412 01:47:09,806 --> 01:47:12,139 (IMITATING) Hey, cops, Stephanie here. 2413 01:47:12,141 --> 01:47:13,207 Change of plans. 2414 01:47:13,209 --> 01:47:15,443 I'm meeting Emily and Sean at Darren's house now. 2415 01:47:15,445 --> 01:47:16,544 I'll see you there. 2416 01:47:16,546 --> 01:47:18,246 You sent them to Darren's house? 2417 01:47:18,248 --> 01:47:20,447 - (BONG BUBBLING) - It's a virus. 2418 01:47:20,449 --> 01:47:22,716 String theory. String theory, isn't it? 2419 01:47:22,718 --> 01:47:25,685 - (WOMEN SCREAM) - Hands up! Weapons down! 2420 01:47:25,687 --> 01:47:27,354 No, I have a prescription for that. 2421 01:47:27,356 --> 01:47:29,090 I have ocular pressure! 2422 01:47:29,092 --> 01:47:30,558 Come on, I've been on the run for 10 years. 2423 01:47:30,560 --> 01:47:32,460 You think I don't know how to manipulate the system? 2424 01:47:32,462 --> 01:47:34,429 So you're gonna kill us? 2425 01:47:34,431 --> 01:47:36,397 Well, what the fuck else am I supposed to do? 2426 01:47:36,399 --> 01:47:38,066 You two will clearly go to 2427 01:47:38,068 --> 01:47:39,700 extraordinary lengths to take me down. 2428 01:47:39,702 --> 01:47:41,368 And you know too much. 2429 01:47:41,370 --> 01:47:43,571 So, I feel like a murder-suicide 2430 01:47:43,573 --> 01:47:46,206 is the only fitting end for you two. 2431 01:47:46,208 --> 01:47:47,274 And if you kill him, 2432 01:47:47,276 --> 01:47:49,609 I think our insurance still covers that, right? 2433 01:47:49,611 --> 01:47:51,411 I mean, sort of perfect. 2434 01:47:51,413 --> 01:47:53,214 One door closes and another one opens. 2435 01:47:53,216 --> 01:47:54,549 Thank you for that. 2436 01:47:54,551 --> 01:47:56,651 You always have been fucking crazy, haven't you? 2437 01:47:56,653 --> 01:47:58,187 Have I? 2438 01:47:58,754 --> 01:48:00,520 (SEAN GROANING) 2439 01:48:00,522 --> 01:48:02,322 Oh, shit. You're right. 2440 01:48:02,324 --> 01:48:04,193 God, you fucking... You actually fucking shot me. 2441 01:48:05,128 --> 01:48:06,727 I'm gonna miss him. 2442 01:48:06,729 --> 01:48:07,731 Your turn. 2443 01:48:08,664 --> 01:48:10,764 Emily, come on. 2444 01:48:10,766 --> 01:48:12,532 You're not gonna kill me. 2445 01:48:12,534 --> 01:48:14,801 Oh, yeah. I killed my dad and my sister, 2446 01:48:14,803 --> 01:48:18,505 but I could never kill my husband-fucking best friend. 2447 01:48:18,507 --> 01:48:20,508 Am I really your best friend? 2448 01:48:20,510 --> 01:48:22,676 You're not just saying that for, you know... 2449 01:48:22,678 --> 01:48:24,478 No, no, I'm not just saying that at all. 2450 01:48:24,480 --> 01:48:26,413 I get worried that it's just me. 2451 01:48:26,415 --> 01:48:28,182 I know, sometimes I was worried about that, too. 2452 01:48:28,184 --> 01:48:29,517 - (STEPHANIE LAUGHS) - (CONTINUES GROANING) 2453 01:48:29,519 --> 01:48:31,285 So hard to connect with other moms. 2454 01:48:31,287 --> 01:48:33,353 And then when you have a full-time job, it's... 2455 01:48:33,355 --> 01:48:34,889 Okay, okay, don't pull that crap. 2456 01:48:34,891 --> 01:48:36,256 Being a mom is a full-time job. 2457 01:48:36,258 --> 01:48:38,158 What I do is hard work. 2458 01:48:38,160 --> 01:48:39,527 And I have my vlog on top of that, 2459 01:48:39,529 --> 01:48:41,261 and that's just getting bigger and bigger. 2460 01:48:41,263 --> 01:48:43,331 If you came on the vlog, that'd be so fun. 2461 01:48:43,333 --> 01:48:44,733 If you came on the vlog 2462 01:48:44,735 --> 01:48:47,635 and confessed to killing your father and sister and held me at gunpoint, 2463 01:48:47,637 --> 01:48:49,269 I could probably hit a million subscribers. 2464 01:48:49,271 --> 01:48:50,837 Aww. That would've been great. 2465 01:48:50,839 --> 01:48:52,208 Why don't we do that right now? 2466 01:48:52,475 --> 01:48:53,474 Hmm? 2467 01:48:53,476 --> 01:48:55,710 We're live streaming. Did you not know that? 2468 01:48:55,712 --> 01:48:57,545 What the fuck are you talking about? 2469 01:48:57,547 --> 01:48:59,083 God, that's so rude, I'm sorry. 2470 01:48:59,716 --> 01:49:01,318 Wave hi to the moms! 2471 01:49:02,519 --> 01:49:04,452 This little gadget. Boop! 2472 01:49:04,454 --> 01:49:06,557 Yeah. They make nanny cams so small these days. 2473 01:49:07,257 --> 01:49:08,656 (SIRENS WAILING) 2474 01:49:08,658 --> 01:49:09,726 Brotherfucker! 2475 01:49:12,628 --> 01:49:14,228 STEPHANIE: Emily! 2476 01:49:14,230 --> 01:49:15,763 Emily, stop! 2477 01:49:15,765 --> 01:49:18,666 Emily, you can't outrun this! Don't do this to Nicky. 2478 01:49:18,668 --> 01:49:20,304 Come on, you're still his mom. 2479 01:49:23,506 --> 01:49:24,508 Yeah, I am. 2480 01:49:25,507 --> 01:49:26,876 But you sure as shit won't be. 2481 01:49:34,583 --> 01:49:36,283 America's hybrids. 2482 01:49:36,285 --> 01:49:38,387 Silent, but deadly. 2483 01:49:42,425 --> 01:49:44,291 I saw you on the vlog. 2484 01:49:44,293 --> 01:49:47,527 You fuck with one of the moms, you fuck with us all. 2485 01:49:47,529 --> 01:49:48,662 - (GRUNTS) - (GROANS) 2486 01:49:48,664 --> 01:49:50,234 Oh! Emily. 2487 01:49:50,967 --> 01:49:53,233 Stop! Emily. 2488 01:49:53,235 --> 01:49:55,502 This looks super painful. 2489 01:49:55,504 --> 01:49:56,703 Now, sweetie. 2490 01:49:56,705 --> 01:49:59,407 Stop. You've just been hit by a car. 2491 01:49:59,409 --> 01:50:00,840 Don't do this. 2492 01:50:00,842 --> 01:50:03,212 I'm getting worried about your knees right now. 2493 01:50:03,980 --> 01:50:05,649 Just relax. 2494 01:50:10,986 --> 01:50:12,953 I'm sorry. 2495 01:50:12,955 --> 01:50:14,688 I'm not sorry. Oh! 2496 01:50:14,690 --> 01:50:16,159 I'm still working on that. 2497 01:50:20,663 --> 01:50:22,295 Hi, moms! Stephanie here. 2498 01:50:22,297 --> 01:50:23,898 We have very exciting news today 2499 01:50:23,900 --> 01:50:27,001 because we signed up our one millionth subscriber, 2500 01:50:27,003 --> 01:50:30,537 Mrs. Carol Findley of Ames, Iowa! 2501 01:50:30,539 --> 01:50:33,374 Thank you for joining us, Carol. 2502 01:50:33,376 --> 01:50:35,609 You should know, as our newest friend, 2503 01:50:35,611 --> 01:50:37,777 that in addition to my usual helpful tips and recipes, 2504 01:50:37,779 --> 01:50:40,648 I now take on unsolved mysteries. 2505 01:50:40,650 --> 01:50:42,515 Because it turns out I have a nose 2506 01:50:42,517 --> 01:50:44,986 for sniffing out the freshest basil 2507 01:50:44,988 --> 01:50:47,455 and criminals who thought they got away with it. 2508 01:50:47,457 --> 01:50:48,990 So if you have a cold case 2509 01:50:48,992 --> 01:50:50,992 or a mystery that needs to be unraveled, 2510 01:50:50,994 --> 01:50:51,960 you just drop me a line. 2511 01:50:51,962 --> 01:50:53,627 That includes you now, Carol, 2512 01:50:53,629 --> 01:50:55,595 because you're part of the family. 2513 01:50:55,597 --> 01:50:57,898 For now, we're gonna be talking 2514 01:50:57,900 --> 01:50:59,332 about my favorite cold soup, 2515 01:50:59,334 --> 01:51:00,934 gazpacho! 2516 01:51:00,936 --> 01:51:01,935 Which is normally gross, but we're not gonna make it gross. 2517 01:51:01,937 --> 01:51:03,536 Right, guys? It's gonna be great. 2518 01:51:03,538 --> 01:51:05,541 (FRENCH RAP SONG PLAYING) 2519 01:51:49,084 --> 01:51:51,355 (LAUGHS) In your ass! 2520 01:51:58,034 --> 01:52:03,034 Subtitles by explosiveskull 181947