Original subtitles

Polizia!

Don't cheat!

Polizia!

Suspense!

Polizia!

Suspense!

Polizia!

Do not cheat!

Polizia!

Suspense!

Polizia!

Suspense!

Polizia!

Don't cheat!

Suspense!

Suspense!

Here goes another one.

Where are they gonna get those field

shutters out?

Useless bastards.

Stand over there please.

Assassin!

Assassin!

Assassin!

Just face front, please.

Sir name?

Rabia.

Rabia?

Hold it.

Christian name?

Face your right, please.

Antonio.

Professor Antonio Rabia, comma.

I thought you said Rabia.

Quiet.

This isn't the first time you've been

up for impersonation, is it, Professor Coma?

Rabia, I thought you said Coma.

May I wash my inky fingers now, please?

The complaint states that you falsely

assume the identity of a professor of

psychiatry and Thorber Don from the

University of Padua.

That is fraud.

Fraud when committed by a sane man, yes

indeed, but I am a lunatic.

I see.

A certified psychotic, here's my

medical records.

Committed 16 times, same thing every time.

Histrionic mania.

From the Latin, you know.

Histriones, to act a part of.

My hobby, you see, acting.

That's why I have to have an audience.

Buongiorno, eh?

Tutto bene!

Hello I'm Inspector Francesco Giovanni

Berdozzo of the security police.

This is the second floor of our

notorious headquarters here in the

center of Milano.

Notorious following a sordid little

incident which happened here a few days

ago when an anarchist under

interrogation on one of the upper

floors fell through the window.

See you later.

While my colleagues claim quite

reasonably the anarchist had committed

suicide, yesterday the verdict of the

Collinger's Court was that the

anarchist's death was accidental.

Not satisfactory you see.

Now we've got demonstrations outside,

accusations in the press and so on.

Not the best atmosphere in which a

plain old nine-to-fiver like me can

carry on a routine day's work.

According to this complaint, as this

psychiatrist, you were charging your

clients 200,000 Lira a visit.

To question credibility, any less they

think I was no good.

A beginner or something, Eben Freud,

Eben Freud said a fat bill is the most

effective panacea, especially for the doctor.

A pity.

A pity your client filed a complaint,

wasn't it?

Bring him along.

I want to warn you that the authors of

this sick little television program

have the traditional irrational hatred

of the police common to all

narrow-minded left-wingers.

So we shall no doubt be the unwilling

butt of endless anti-authoritarian jibes.

Please bear with us.

This is your visiting card, is it not?

Professor Antonio Rabia, psychiatrist,

formerly lecturer at the University of Padua.

Are you Antonio Rabia?

Not exactly.

What does that mean?

I am a professor.

You are, aren't you?

Yes.

Of design, decoration and freehand

drawing at the College of the Sacred Redeemer.

I take evening classes.

It says here psychiatrist.

After the comma.

Yes.

Before the full stop.

yes exactly exactly what?

professor Antonio Rabia comma capital P

psychiatrist full stop.

I take it you are familiar with the

basic rules of syntax and punctuation.

where's the form?

formally lecturer at the University of

Padua true or false.

after the formally?

what?

another comma can't you even read?

you're mad.

I know.

what have all these commas got to do

with it?

nothing to someone with your

rudimentary education evidently inspector.

I'm sorry I'm sorry let me explain you

see the punctuation changes the whole

emphasis of sentence after the comma

the reader your good self takes a short

mental breath thus changing the

intentionality so the sentence should

read professor Antonio Ravier comma

capital P psychiatrist full stop

formally comma lecturer at the

University of Padua full stop you see

you read correctly on your arsehole

swallow that one no no your grammar's a

bit retarded that's all I could give

you a refresher course let's begin by

repeating all personal pronouns in Italian.

Very good.

You too Franco, no shirking.

May we?

No, that's French.

May we get on with this fucking statement?

Oh, is he getting away with that?

What?

Yes.

That's Pete viewing out the window.

Stay tuned viewers, God knows what will

slip out next.

Ah, no, no, no, straight jacket or

nothing, Article 122 of the penal code

states imposition of non-clinical

instruments of restraint by law

enforcement officers upon disturbed

persons is forbidden on pain of instant

dismissal and loss of pensions.

Law student as well now, eh?

Studied court procedure in the loony

bin, no doubt.

A paranoid registrar gave lectures

three mornings a week.

Roman law, modern law, Dennis law, test me.

Don't be fooled, Constable.

This raving is a conscious effort to

confuse us and avoid prosecution.

Not at all.

But if a lawyer ain't no lawyers

amongst your past miscellaneous not

even a barrister.

Who wants to be a barrister?

I don't want to be passive.

I don't want to defend.

I'm like you, Inspector.

I like to accuse, convict, judge, and

pass sentence.

Never actually impersonated a judge

have you?

Just for the record?

Unfortunately no.

That opportunity hasn't arisen so far.

Shame eh?

It is isn't it?

I'd love to do a judge.

Oh yes.

You see the thing about judges

inspector is they never retire.

That's the beauty of it.

Your ordinary humdrum sons and

daughters of toil.

60 they slow down don't they?

they get slobby sluggish whoops onto

the scrap heap at that very same moment

that your average magistrate is

blossoming into a high-court judge.

oh really?

silence in court.

take part of my letter.

see what I mean?

take your lathe operator.

touch of the shakes.

couple of minor accidents.

out to grass.

coal miner.

bit of silicosis.

finito at 50.

housewife.

there's a job.

she never retires either but the older

she grows the more she does the less

she gets.

she ends up with nothing but the older

and the frailer and the feebler the

judges get the more they are elevated

the superior and powerful positions

that's the job for me 20 years for you

30 years for you living on Railton Road

50 years rape victim can't testify case

dismissed hands off or I'll bite what

in the ass can't control it I've got

rabies, yes, caught it off a dog, rabid

bastard took a lump out of me right here.

Right here?

No, right here.

What's up, you little blood?

He's bananas, right for now.

Any other doors to this room?

No, sir.

got him!

ha ha!

bloody ha!

got you now you little weirdo!

lock the door!

remove the key!

put the key in your mouth!

swallow it!

yes!

I'll throw myself down the stairs!

I'll give you a hand!

puppety-puppety!

crack splat down the banisters!

two deaths in custody in a month!

could your PR department handle that?

I don't care!

nobody has ever done this to me before!

nobody!

you think you're putty?

put your fucking head under a bus!

you didn't hear that!

I can help you make subversive talks!

I don't have to injure without visible signs.

Do what you like.

I don't care.

I don't have to wait.

Can I try glycerine?

Thank God for that.

Let's hope we don't get another one in

like that again.

What time is it, Constable?

You're gonna be about half an hour late

for that appointment with the bomb

squad, sir.

Why didn't you tell me?

Well...

You were otherwise engaged, weren't you?

don't be cheeky we're only doing our

jobs we're only doing our jobs oh yes

Paolo Tiberti age 24 death mute charged

refusing to answer questions Nobody move.

Justice has just arrived.

You're free.

Free.

Absolutely free.

I've been framed.

Don't worry, they get worse.

Now, what have we got here?

A big fish.

Pesci grossi.

It's Italian.

for the camera diamond smugglers drug

racketeers they can all stay there

where are the little people they populo

piccoli populo piccolo populo piccolo

populo piccolo Well, that's more like it.

Okay.

Here we go.

Kids!

Sorry, Padre!

Hello?

Inspector Potosso's office.

Whom do I have the honor of addressing?

Who the hell's that?

No, no, you tell me who you are, then I

might hand you over to him.

Inspector Pizzani.

Who?

Pizzani.

Oh, how delightful.

Patozzo, it's that famous humanitarian,

Inspector Pizzani, from upstairs.

Now, what can we do for you?

Yes?

Hold on a moment.

Patozzo, he says you've got the file on

the flying anarchist.

He wants it back.

Yes, go on.

Oh, the public outcry.

Can't miss it, can you?

Quite a ha-hoo.

Sorry, hoo-ha.

Little blood clot.

Then what?

They're sending a high court judge down

here interview you and the

superintendent and make a detailed

investigation of all the evidence.

my hour has come.

what's this chap's name Pizzani?

Marco Malapiero yes?

Marco Malapiero first counselor to the

High Court.

oh my you are being honored aren't you?

sorry yes I've got the file here your

testimonies UM superintendent verbatim

reports of the torture and

interrogation sorry slip of the tongue.

shut up Batotso he's having a fit I

tell you.

he's all creased up.

he can't control himself.

he says it's the idea of you two

sadists up there up to your chins and

your own shit.

now don't get touchy.

that was Batotso blowing your raspberry.

what?

he says you'll bash your face in at the

earliest opportunity for Totso you and

whose army pile him up at last a judge

a dream come true you must excuse me

I'm feeling grotesquely emotional these

chances come at once in a lifetime if I

can just convince them that I'm this

Marco Malapiero character I must be

careful not to make a bloody balls up

of this there's no business late sure

business there's no business ain't no

hello buongiorno right let's see what

shall we do clear the decks shall we?

yes right ah right how's this for starters?

I sentence you to death okay I'll warm

it up for you all right let's see what

we've got here ah yes the human

adventure is only just beginning beam

me up Scotty sorry I'll take it

seriously from now on yes I am using

the Stanislavsky approach here now into

the characterization I crawl how's that

right now let's see what it looks like

shall we not bad how's it look from the

back it's not all right is it all right

judges judges justice judges the old

gray hairs the old sage I have to work

with this you know I do this is

commercial television in crisis ladies

and gentlemen.

this is you don't wear rubbish like

this when you work at the National

Theatre you know.

come to think of it you don't wear

anything at all down there.

I sentence you to death, Kermie.

let's see what we can do with this

shall we?

just have a look here.

ah yes Lord Denning to the life.

that's what you get for spending all

those years at the bar.

I told you we had some lousy ones

didn't I?

Come on, come on, what do you think?

Is it awful?

Is it rubbish?

Is it shit?

One, two, three, it's shit!

Oh, you wonderful people!

On the telly in front of millions!

Okay, right, what can we do with this?

A change of style.

Ah, the very thing.

As soon as No, don't bother.

Aha.

Okay, culture vultures, you asked for this.

Marcello Mastroianni.

Charm, you see.

Bicycle clips.

What does he do?

30 years for you, 40 years for you.

What does he do at the weekends?

Open-air type, landowner, hates the peasants.

Shots off.

Shots on.

I'll have a little drink.

Cheers.

Pardon.

Shots are here.

Cheers.

Pardon.

Shots are here.

Cheers.

Pardon.

That's how you got the bad eye.

Hunting accident.

Here we go.

Another little prop.

Bang it in and I'll busk the rest, eh?

Oh, my God.

Get off!

Get off!

Keep action.

I haven't finished yet, you big lover.

Sorry.

Sorry.

What are you doing?

Dearing me, can't I cut that bit?

All right, okay.

Okay.

Oh, it's you.

That's my lot.

I'm just reminding you.

It's you.

And don't get neurotic.

Out of my office.

I have valuable information for you.

There's this fellow running about.

Says he's going to bash your face in.

What?

Thank God I've warned you in time.

He's fuming.

Who?

That fascist superintendent's friend

from upstairs.

Inspector Pizzani.

The very man.

He's after you.

And no mistake.

Get out.

This is all blather.

You want my advice?

You come across him.

Quack, quack.

Duck?

Exactly.

It's your only hope.

Trout!

The shit!

He's nicked me coat!

Constable!

That's mine!

Follow him!

Thank you, sir!

Move!

Ah, my dear Passani, I was just talking

about you.

Some bloody loony in on an

impersonation charge was just telling

me that...

Head floor.

Hurt your hand?

No.

Why are you rubbing it then?

Do I know you?

I don't believe so.

I knew a bishop once who rubbed himself

like that.

A Jesuit of course.

Your face rings a bell.

Ah yes,

this continuous massaging.

Obviously a symptom of insecurity.

Problems with mamar in your formatted ears.

You should screw more inspector.

Unleash yourself.

What are you doing in my office?

You again?

Can't they afford enough bloody actors?

Who do I have to do with you?

Do you mind?

Who's producing this show?

Ian McGregor.

To whom do I have the dubious pleasure

of speaking?

Very good.

I'm Marco Malapiero, first counsellor

to the High Court.

By God, who's the judge?

Formerly a lecturer at the University

of Rome, with two commas and a full

stop in the normal way.

We weren't expecting you quite so soon,

Your Honour.

Decided to catch you on the hop.

No, not at all, thank you.

Let me take the coat, sir.

Certainly, you might as well.

It's not mine.

anyway.

would you like to call the superintendent?

I'd like to begin straight away.

perhaps you'd like to go to his office sir?

more comfortable in there.

ah but isn't this the room where the

beastly business with the anarchist

took place?

yes.

in here.

to step in here as quickly as possible

if he can.

even if he can't.

yes even if he can't.

yes I will.

I'll just give that bastard the top so

I'll call her to bring up the file.

no doubt she wants a transcript of interrogation.

no no no no that won't be necessary

inspector I have everything I need

right here do you know who I've got in

there no only bloody Bruno the Olivetti

kidnapper only about to crack him

wasn't I and you send your

blood-hopping lackey stomping in there

and screw everything up completely then

I pass poor Obertoch a while back on

his way to the medical room with a face

like some inflatable fruit and learn

that you thumped him.

well he blew a raspberry at me.

raspberry?

looked more like a prize marrell to me.

what did you use?

a time to start cracking up.

perhaps you don't realize this but

there are eyes watching us.

press hands snapping at our heels

waiting for us to step up just once so

they can I show your anxieties superintendent.

what the blazes is this?

I have had caused myself to severely

reprimand this young associate of yours.

it to me to be somewhat repressed yes

who is this dribbling credit Marco

Malipiero first counselor to the High

Court we were expecting you your honor

but not so soon caught you with your

pants down eh my god superintendent

it's your face come here it is it years

ago Calabria Calabria it is forth from

the I think we'd better keep this

between ourselves don't you?

right gentlemen if you would like to

pay attention please do take a seat

superintendent let's get down to facts

right according to the evidence of the

transcript here we are an anarchist by

professional railway worker found

himself under interrogation in this

very room on the subject of bombs

planted in railway carriages at the

Milano Centrali Stazione and more

recently the notorious attack of the

Banco di Agricultura which caused the

deaths of some 17 innocent persons.

think carefully superintendent in the

report here it states that you had said

there were heavy suspicions pointing in

his direction.

did you say that?

yes sir in the beginning but later I...

well the beginning is a super.

towards midnight the anarchist seized

by a raptus and this is still you

speaking here superintendent.

uh-huh.

seized by a raptus threw himself out of

the window thus ending his life upon

the pavement below right?

right.

exactly right.

okay then.

so what is a raptus?

now that is a disaster.

a raptus is a crisis of suicidal

anguish exhibited by a sane person when

provoked by a violent anxiety right?

right.

then let us see what provoked this

violent anxiety which will begin by

reconstructing the exact events

beginning with your entrance superintendent.

my entrance?

yes don't you want to act out your

notorious entrance.

what notorious entrance?

the one that caused this bloody rep.

I didn't make an entrance it was a

junior of mine.

pretty feeble to pass the buck onto

one's inferior as you know superintendent.

it's just one of those devices we

employ the force sir.

make the suspect confess.

and who asked your opinion?

no one.

I agree.

speak when you're spoken to.

it was more or less like this your honor.

the suspect the anarchist was sitting here.

Splendid.

I'll play the anarchist.

My colleague.

Yes.

I mean, I.

Yes.

Enter.

Jolly good.

Off you go then.

What?

Enter.

Enter.

Try the door.

It's no use trying to pull the wool

over my eyes, Sonny.

That's not what I've got written here.

This is documentary reconstruction

superintendent I want the exact words

in the exact manner.

now do try again.

you filthy posh written pansy!

you piss me about!

now it was pissing me about.

you sure of that line?

I think so.

jolly good time.

are we having controversial proof that

you're the murdering turtle planted the

bombs in the railway station?

you had this proof I assume?

of course.

oh dear.

that's what the inspector was trying to

say before.

just one of those little deceptions

we're occasionally obliged to result to.

I see a track.

exactly.

brilliant.

now we had our suspicions of start the

suspect was the only anarchist railway

worker in Milan.

so it was simple to deduce that it was him.

well of course of course it's uh

self-evident isn't it so I mean as it

was undoubtedly the case that a railway

worker must have planted the bombs in

the railway station then we can also

assert that the famous bombs at the law

courts must have been planted there by

a lawyer and the bomb at the

agricultural bank either by a bank

clerk or a cow whichever takes your fancy.

and the famous bomb at the tomb of the

back to serious inquiry not far about

with syllogistic prattling let's get on

with it.

says here unaffected by the accusations

the suspect smiled disbelievingly who

made the statement.

yes I did sir.

there he is smiling disbelievingly and

two lines later I read no doubt fear of

getting the sack played a part in

precipitating the reptus.

let's get this straight.

first he's smiling then he's getting

the sack so he shits himself and dives

out the window.

come on cops the whole world over play

a few dirty tricks that's what you're

paid for thank you sir so don't play

Lily White with me well actually sir I

just got out but you came back in right

drama drama let's get on with it excuse

me sir yes it was at this point sir

that we employed the there is a phone

call for you your secretary has it it's

very important sir ploy fascinating

Constable I wonder if you'll be kind

enough to demonstrate.

with my pleasure sir.

I expect it would.

excuse me sir.

there is a very important phone call

your secretary has it.

it's very important sir.

oh excuse me gentlemen.

I haven't got a secretary.

I see, I see.

I've just had a phone call from Rome.

I've just had a phone call from Rome.

Your friend, your...

You've just had a phone call from Rome.

No, that's not the...

I've just had a phone call from Rome.

Phone call from Rome.

Go on, get along with it.

Your friend.

Now, this is his friend from the

anarchist group in Rome.

That's the one, sir, your friend.

rather partner.

clever yes.

your friend has confessed to planting a

bomb in that bank in Rome.

another bomb?

how did the suspect take that?

well very badly.

he turned pale then he asked for a

cigarette and then he lit it.

no that's what you told the coroner.

and later on you said he looked cornered.

why was that?

his alibi had collapsed.

so he didn't jump straight away?

no.

his alibi had collapsed.

yes when?

after he lit the cigarette.

I see.

you see he said he spent the afternoon

in a bar and a velia.

witnesses?

andres over the woods.

you didn't believe it.

I should have.

indeed as you told the coroner the fact

that he jumped was played a mission of guilt.

absolutely.

then later on of course you said we had

no proof at all against the poor chap.

on television inspector you said I

can't understand it we're all having a

jolly good laugh and he suddenly jumped

out the window.

things got a bit out of hand.

I should say you arrest a free citizen

you hold him beyond a legal time limit

you traumatize him by telling him you

have absolute proof he's a bomber which

you later state you didn't have at all

you then tell him you'll make sure he

gets the sack and then in spite of

hundreds of witnesses who saw him in a

bar you tell him his alibi has

collapsed a new round the whole deal

off with the coupe de grâce to tell him

his friend has confessed to a filthy

massacre in Rome had he?

who?

his friend.

what?

confessed to the massacre in Rome.

no!

no!

we invented it.

what imaginations.

I will be perfectly frank gentlemen.

you two are done for.

you will be charged forthwith with

instigating this man to commit suicide.

what?

our job is to interrogate suspects and

we might be required to use a few

intimidating tactics.

do you mind?

we are dealing with a campaign of

sustained psychological violence

followed by a public exhibition of

outrageous and contradictory lies.

we won't even in the room when the

suicide took place.

Ask the constable.

Yes, sir.

They both left the room before he threw

himself out.

Exactly.

Well said, constable.

Why does it say that?

It doesn't.

No, because that's the first version, sir.

The constable's referring to the second version.

The what?

Second version.

Second version.

What second version do you want, sir?

It's that one.

No!

That version, sir.

Where's the first second version?

Where's the second second version?

How many second versions are there?

Six.

There.

There.

There.

oh yes of course there we are sir the

second version there's been a little

rewriting of events has there?

slight correction.

we corrected the time of the original

interrogation in which we implied the lies.

deception strategy.

session ended at 8 instead of midnight

as previously stated.

so you brought everything forward for us.

all except the fall from the window.

there were after an initial period of

depression the anarchist was cheering

up he didn't give a damn about his

friend in Rome he despised him so your

lies meant nothing to him exactly so

why did you tell them to him well it

shook him and in no time at all he was

wreathed in smiles yes yes he was

serene so why did he come.

hey?

what will we do?

how we do?

advise us.

why the hell you think I've been sent

here superintendent?

the government has to make some form of

gesture in order to salvage what

remains of the mangled reputation of

its police force.

what?

the minister of internal affairs has

decided that unless you two can come up

with a miracle you will be made the

severest possible examples of.

they can't mean to feed us to the wolves.

I've sacrificed my life for this country.

don't give a tinker's fart about your

boring bloody sacrifice.

this is politics.

we were only following orders?

provoke the kind of atmosphere in which

we can justifiably demand greater

oppressive powers say the politicians, right?

it's a very persuasive argument.

the subhuman filth are threatening to

engulf our beloved country.

society is falling apart.

action must be taken.

strengthen the state.

crack down on hooligans, dropouts, drug

addicts, squatters, demonstrators

infiltrate the union militants, round

up the activists flatten up the files,

polish your rubber bullets and suddenly

let's all get out of hand somebody's

dead outcry and the public want heads

and the state the state had better

provide or go under your heads you

soppy suckers you wanted my advice yes

out the pair of you no your careers are

ruined your children will spit as you

pass it's not fair fair chaseman won't

serve you you won't get an American

Express car if you are abandoned lost

this is monstrous your own ridiculous

lies have condemned you Pizzai I warned

you didn't I I said leave the script

writing to the film directors, but no,

you had to blab your nonsense to the world.

Can't you feel the humiliation jumping

to dishonorable words?

Why won't it look fair?

There's the only decent thing left.

Follow your victim into oblivion.

He's right!

I can't bear the disgrace!

Familia, pardon me!

No, no, no, no, that must be another way!

Can't you feel that rectus boiling up

inside you?

One great liberating lip!

I've got it!

Don't panic, I've got it!

If I were to panic, I'll panic!

I'm going!

A third person.

What?

We'll just have to do a third person.

Haven't we made enough mess of the

first two?

We'll need your help, Your Honor, the

benefit of your keen legal insight and

we'll produce a foolproof statement.

That's rubbish!

Please!

Very well, one last.

Get back in here, Inspector.

Are you going to or not?

I suppose not.

Get back in here then.

Right, on with the dance.

Let's shut the strikehouse door on all

this, as they say, and start all over again.

Point one.

What's said cannot be unsaid.

Never it stands, inspector, that you or

I, or someone acting on our behalf,

blamed a little deception.

The suspect smoked his last cigarette,

but did not jump because it was eight

o'clock and not midnight, and everyone

knows the railway workers have a great

respect for time tables, which gives us

all the time in the world to calm him

down, iron out all the wrinkles, and

give him a convincing motive for jumping.

I know you could say that the state of

depression into which he had fallen had moved.

moved?

constable?

where you moved?

moved I was moved we were all moved.

I wasn't moved to see I wasn't here.

yes you were.

I was.

well he's smiling serene me.

why am I moved?

he smiles because he sees we are moved.

that's not bad.

it's all right.

it's good.

it's not good enough.

I gave him some chewing gum sir.

brilliant he starts to chew then he

smiles he likes juicy fruit and I go

out shaking my head nice try

superintendent but you were sorry for

having upset him I felt a sudden regret

yes and you couldn't resist putting a

hand upon his shoulders I don't

remember that fatherly gesture wasn't

it Constable it was yes yes I saw that

you are he saw it well if he says well

of course he just a moment.

and then you inspector you gave his

cheeks a gentle pat.

I don't think I did.

just like that you did.

I'm awfully sorry to disappoint you.

you are disappointing me.

do you know why?

no.

because this man was not only an

anarchist he was also a railway man.

now what does that what does that mean

to you.

I don't know sir.

well think.

didn't you have a little train set when

you were in the pub?

yes I did.

you did?

I did yes.

a clockwork one?

clockwork armored train.

oh how appropriate eh?

made real smoke.

did it?

tell me inspector.

did it sort of go Come on, how did it go?

Come on,

do it again.

One, two.

Superintendent, you old sly boots, you.

Come on, let's hear yours.

There you are.

There you are.

Here we go, my sonny.

Here we go.

Hadly da, hadly da, hadly da, hadly da,

hadly da, hadly da, hadly da, hadly da.

Meow!

Hadly da, hadly da, hadly da, hadly da,

hadly da, hadly da, hadly da, hadly da!

Pardon me, boys, is that the taboo kachoo-choo?

Must have sparkled!

Like a jilt, well, anything but

affection for this poor railway man,

bound forever in your subconscious

minds to the very little train sets of

your childhood.

I'm more than certain you gave his

little cheeks a pat.

You know, I saw that as well, sir.

There you are, you see.

And you said, there, there, my lad,

don't take it like that.

And you called him by his Christian name.

I certainly did not.

Don't make me lose my temper.

Yes, I did.

Right, right, let's get this down one

for one.

He said, come along now, my lad.

Come along now, my lad.

Don't take it like that.

Don't take it like that.

And then we began to sing.

And then we began to...

You began to sing.

All of you.

Sing?

Makes sense doesn't it superintendent?

I mean having created such a cozy atmosphere.

What else would you do but sing?

But your honor we can't possibly go

along with that.

Then don't.

There's the window.

It's the only viable alternative.

Nobody believes a word you have said

about this incident.

Do you know why?

because besides being evident garbage

your stories lack the tiniest vestige

of humanity there's no warmth there's

no laughter there's no pain there's no

remorse sing show a human heart beyond

the sordid tangle of la lies you have

left in your wake for God's sake give

the public something to believe in poor

railwayman poor poor pathetic

railwayman You know it, don't you?

The song of anarchy itself.

What could be more suitable?

Our homeland is the whole world.

Our law is liberty.

We have but one thought.

Revolution is in our hearts.

Oh O'er the land of the free and the

home of the brave What?

David.

Rigi nostra patria è un mondo intero.

Nella legge la liberta è un pezzero è

un pensiero nostra patria è un mondo intero.

Nella legge la liberta è un pezzero

liberi quanti stopp.

Ah.

Ah.

Coffee!

Ah.

Ah.

The magazine.

They're all in, they're all in.

Excuse me.

Here we are!

And our suspect is in the best of moods.

He's never been happier.

He was serene.

He was serene.

Good.

No raptors.

Not a whisper of stress.

Oh, that was later.

Yeah, at midnight.

Ah, splendid, sir.

Now it's midnight.

Come on, it's midnight.

Come on, come on, Constable.

Camera number two.

Come along, Constable.

Set the scene.

Come on, Constable.

Go get them, Constable.

Is this working, Chas?

Horrible wallpaper.

Right, uh...

Set the scene.

It's midnight.

Thank you.

Uncle okay a bit of atmosphere Is mine

Don't this could take a little while

Hey Garry national health after that

The scene is set, there are four of us

in this room, myself, the suspect, and

he's just left the room.

These two?

Yes, sir.

And what were they doing?

Interrogating the suspect, sir.

Still, after all these hours, they must

be knackered.

Well, just a bit.

Bet you fancied roughing him up a bit, eh?

Never got near the bastard.

Very even tempered, the whole proceedings.

Don't get me wrong.

Just a little slap.

Cross the chops.

Never touched him.

I know.

how about a bit of massage?

relieve his tensions shoulders full of

cramps after all those hours of questioning.

oh my god.

lovely doesn't it?

left a bit.

left a bit.

how's that?

a little diddly-doo for you.

diddly-doo diddly-doo No, no massage,

no karate, nothing like that,

everything was above board.

According to regulations we were

conducting our inquiry in a very light

hearted manner.

You were interrogating him.

Light heartedly?

We were having a bit of a laugh with him.

I see, grandmother's footsteps, was it?

Paper hats?

no sir no no no it's just the odd joke

yeah I mean you ought to see the

inspector over there so when he gets

going my god he's hilarious well stroll

on you know this explains an enormous

amount that's often been worrying me

these days I must tell you this

inspector I was I've just moved into a

new apartment you see in town it

happens to be right next to a police

station well since I moved in there I

haven't got a wink of sleep to wink at

all the screams and shrieks and slaps

and fud.

naturally I've assumed as any

ill-informed citizen would do that

these are the sounds of suspects being

beaten under interrogation.

all too clearly I realize how mistaken

my impressions were.

the screams I hear they're screams of

laughter aren't they?

there's shrieks of shrieks of merriment

and mirth accompanied by slapping

convulsion, humorous hysteria.

Don't tell me that one officer.

No, no, please don't.

You know I can't take it.

No, no, officer don't.

Oh, what a punch line.

Oh, not a shaggy dog story.

Sarge, please, no, don't.

Ah, ah!

Goddamn it!

Ha, ha, ha!

Ah, ah, ah!

Oh, I love this!

Ah, ah, ah!

Oh, no!

Oh, you know all this explains why so

many ordinary-born people suddenly

dress themselves up as anarchists and

revolutionaries and go on demonstrations.

They're perfectly innocent.

They just want to get themselves

arrested so they can have a fucking

good laugh for once in a life.

I don't understand you said you'd help

us we sang yes we sang we showed you

how warm and human we are let us come

to the essence of the problem the

suspects leap right right our suspect

seized by some psychological crisis or

another suddenly jumps up runs across

to the window who gave my leg up what

do you mean I mean over the settle into

the void never jump that you need a

good run at that when you got another

surely not springboard handy was there?

little baby trampoline?

something of that help?

you're at it again.

just sifting the evidence.

consider here is a man of five foot

four on his own.

that stepladder, springboard, baby

trampoline, bryon nylon mountaineering

ropes with crampons attached to any

other device.

he manages to get from here to there

and in three seconds he's jammed sponge.

and there are three highly trained

policemen just standing there come

along gentlemen look at the room one of

you must have been in the vicinity of

the window oh no sir no it was all

happened very quickly you see yes he

was very athletic very fast I see I

only just managed to grab him by the

foot my tenacity pays off you see you

grabbed him by the foot yes sir you

tried to save him yes sir and his shoe

just came off in my hand you had his

shoe in your greasy little mitt.

you beauty constable.

don't you see gentlemen?

proof positive of your efforts to save

the suspect.

yes naturally.

uh just a moment gentlemen.

there's one tiny little detail that

doesn't quite fit the suspect.

he wasn't a tri-ped was he?

the suicidal railway man.

you see if by chance the bugger has got

three feet well we're home and dry.

temper temper.

you see it states here in the report

that the constable had said as he has

just done that he had the suspect's

shoe in his hand however according to

this addendum on page 222 four

witnesses in the courtyard below

including a journalist from Corriere la

sera, swear that the jam sponge was a

couture with a pair of shoes consistent

with your average biped.

that's a funny business to be sure.

I don't know how that happened.

perhaps the constable here, moving like

the clappers, had time to belt down to

the balcony a few floors below, lean

out and slip the Well, obviously, one

of the suspect's shoes was too big for him.

So, not having an insole to hand, he

had previously slipped a smaller shoe

on inside the big one, which came off

in the constable's hand.

or to even up the feet for cosmetic

reasons two shoes on one foot precisely

that is not as mad as it sounds it's

fucking deranged no no no bear with me

so bear with me what I'm saying is what

I held in my hand may in fact have been

a galosh nobody wears galoshes these

days no it wasn't raining no but a

suspect might have thought that it was

about a galosh is a ridiculous garment

an anarchist wouldn't be seen dead in

one exactly sir i was only trying to

help cock cockly cock now these

anarchists sir they're frequently very

eccentric he may well have been wearing

an old rubber galosh Well, where is it?

Where is the fucking loss?

Not in the transcript.

Not amongst the dead man's possessions.

The shoe he held in his hand was a shoe.

The shoe which you placed there

secretly after we'd first given evidence.

Shoes?

I will not shoes.

Look, look, look, there's its little tag.

Item 99B, one, two, not, galosh, spill it!

Whose writing is that?

I was following your orders.

Me?

Me or you won't involve all of a sudden?

Yes, sir.

Keep out of it, will you?

It's all me now, is it?

You didn't enjoy yourself, I suppose?

I was having a laugh, yes.

You said that, didn't you, Constable?

Laugh?

Some laugh, eh?

Laughing now, are we?

Well, I was only scaring him.

You're the bloody nutter!

I'm the nutter!

Well, you bloody pushed him, chum!

Did I?

Did I have a little laugh, all right?

All on my own, was I?

Better answer that, hadn't you?

You never heard a word, superintendent.

Si.

Que?

No.

Momento.

There's a journalist downstairs.

She wants to see you.

Oh, my God.

It's that Faletti woman from Lunita.

No, Maria Faletti.

City Hall ordered me to see her to try

and quieten her down.

I've read her stuff.

She's a bloody viper.

Ready to get her up here.

We don't want to put her back up any worse.

You could wait in my office.

We'll get rid of her as quickly as possible.

But I'm fine right here.

If she finds out why his Honour's here,

it'll ruin everything.

On the other hand, the judge's quick

thinking could prove an invaluable

asset if she starts to sling loaded questions.

But the main thing is we're not compromised.

Constable!

Clear that stuff up out there.

Yes, sir.

You tip me the wink and I'll stick my

oar in, Superintendent.

You're too kind, Your Honour.

You see?

One, Your Honour, and we're done for.

excuse me sir couldn't his honor

pretend to be somebody else wonderful

idea what?

I know captain Rossetti a friend of

mine in forensics from Rome.

terrific and you bluff your way in forensics?

no problem I'll need a disguise of

course can't work without costume.

oh dear.

don't worry I have everything I need

right here tell them to send her up.

okay send her up.

council I'll just change in here you

don't know how much we appreciate this

you'll never let it be said

superintendent that I would abandon my

friends in the hour of need oh that man

is a genius.

well I'm not at all sure about this.

Maria Folletti,

sir.

Miss Folletti.

delighted to meet you.

I'm the superintendent.

allow me to introduce my colleague

inspector piss Annie in charge of this department.

pleased to meet you.

the pleasure's all mine.

do sit down.

thank you.

as you may be aware my paper has been

less than enthusiastic about the

flagrant public whitewashing given to

recent events in this building by the

city coroner's office.

that may be because your paper prefers

to deal in rumor rather than fact if I

may say so without being personal Miss Folletti.

even so I have read your articles with

interest you have struck me as a

courage, a true Democrat, a lover of justice.

You're too kind.

I'd like to begin by asking the

inspector a couple of questions.

Certainly.

Why do people call you the window, Stradler?

I beg your pardon.

This is a copy of a letter written by a

young student now in San Vittore prison.

The inspector on the fifth floor forced

me to sit on the window sill with my

legs hanging out throw yourself out he

said jump go on I haven't you got the

guts I I trust you don't attach more

importance to the words of a condemned

man than for those of a police officer

perhaps you'll allow my colleague to

join us a forensic expert from Rome

come in

Captain Rosetti, allow me to introduce

to you, Sir Moria.

Delighted.

Er, do pardon the stiff hand.

It's wooden.

General Belgrano.

It's nasty business.

Still waiting for them to hold a public

inquiry, you know.

Who do you think you are, Arthur Negus?

Do take a seat, young lady.

Right, no smoking, please.

Lots of dry wood around here.

I'll just park me old timbers over

here, and you'll get stuck in.

What's the subject?

Window straddling.

Splendid.

According to the evidence of the

emergency services, a call was

registered from the switchboard of this

building on the night of the alleged

suicide at 2 minutes 2 12.

Now the call was a request for

ambulance services, but witnesses to

the suicide all agree it took place at

3 minutes past 12.

Can you explain this?

Oh, it's a crime to be prudent and show

a bit of foresight now, is it?

You see, we often call an ambulance on

the off chance.

Anyway, the clock which registered our

call in the hospital was probably slow.

More than likely.

Extraordinary.

Why, extraordinary, madam.

This isn't Switzerland, you know.

We set our clocks as we bloody well

fancy, huh?

We are Italians.

Well said, Captain.

Mind the eye.

Aye.

It's glass.

You'll knock it high.

Just what are you driving at, Miss Poletti?

Among the documents of the inquiry

produced by the coroner, there is no

sign of any expert analysis of the

parabola of the fall.

Parabola.

Parabola.

Parabola.

In other words, did the anarchist pass

through the window with a voluntary

movement, thus clearing the side of the

building, or did he, as appears, slide

down the wall, sustaining fractures and

lesions consistent with an inanimate object?

Were the suicide's hands injured in

such a way as to indicate he put them

out to protect himself instinctively at

the moment of impact?

All this would indicate whether he was

conscious or not.

I think I ought to point out here,

madam, that we are dealing with a case

of suicide, you know.

The bastard wanted to die, so why the

bloody hell would he put his hands out?

Splendid, Lisa.

Mind the eye.

If the suspect was unconscious, it

would certainly explain the bruises

seen on his neck.

I advise you against careless talk,

young lady.

Is that a threat?

Not at all, not at all, no, you'll see.

There were indeed bruises on the young

man's neck.

These were caused during the final

interrogation just towards midnight.

What?

One of the police officers, I'm afraid,

became slightly impatient and he struck

the suspect a rather nasty blow to the

nape of the neck.

What?

Regrettable but true.

Have you gone mad?

16 times precisely.

The blow caused partial paralysis and

the suspect had momentary difficulty in

breathing an ambulance was called

immediately at the same time two

officers assisted the suspect to the

open window here supporting him as he

lent out to breathe in a few reviving

gulps of cold night air now as is often

the case in such events miss Folletti

each of the officers thought the other

had the stronger hold you know the

That's it.

I told you it's gone.

What?

The eye's out.

Everybody down.

A very clever account, Captain.

It's not bad, eh?

It certainly explains the strange

terminology employed by the coroner's court.

What strange terminology?

Do try to be more precise, madam.

Have you found it yet?

What colour is it?

It's see-through, you dumbo.

It's an eye.

Coming!

Ah!

Ah!

Bataccia!

Sorry, am I interrupting?

I came to deliver this.

What is it?

My nose.

No, it's a reproduction of the bomb

planted in the airline office.

Bandits, stick it on the desk, will you?

Yes.

Whoa!

How's that?

Cut it!

What the hell was that?

My eye, is it yours?

No!

Don't be alarmed, no detonator!

Oh, thank God for that.

Oh, look what a mess you've made of my eye.

Constable, could you get me a glass of

water to wash it in, please?

Your face looks very familiar.

Oh, that'll be because we've both got

bandaged eyes.

Ah-ha.

Inspector Bataccio, allow me to

introduce Captain Rossetti of the

Forensic Department.

Rossetti?

That's impossible!

I know Captain Rossetti!

Bah!

No you don't.

You!

You kicked me!

You're assaulting me again!

Why?

That's quite enough.

I want to know why you punched me in

the eye.

He didn't punch you, he kicked you.

He insults him the raspberry.

What raspberry?

That's enough.

My mind's reeling.

Can't you see we have visitors?

That is not Captain.

Rosetti.

Got it.

No!

Rosetti.

Your water sir.

Thank you.

And this is Miss Folletti.

We'll explain later.

Miss Folletti is a journalist.

Understand now?

No.

She's come here for a very important interview.

Ah!

See?

No!

Ah!

Hello!

How do you do?

Well, eh?

I'll swallow your eye.

Inspector Batato is our explosives and

ballistics expert.

Oh, really?

Do you think it'll see me through the night?

I wonder if I could ask the inspector a

couple of questions.

Of course.

You say this is a reproduction of the

bomb used at the airline office.

Based on fragments of the original.

Ah, so although it's a real bomb, it

doesn't reveal the same information

about its makers as the original bomb

would have.

True.

but wasn't the bomb at the airline

office recovered unexploded yes in fact

it was an officer from this building

who exploded the device within minutes

of its discovery was it not I don't

understand perhaps you'd allow me a

word here inspector Potosso in my

capacity as chief of the forensics

department you do know what you're

doing with that oh gee I haven't the

foggiest idea now you see here miss

Filetti this bomb is highly complex now

this here could be a timing device

priming device double timing some sort

of acid booby trap we just don't know

you see there you are merely taking it

to bits and boob.

up go you and the evidence not worth

the risk really is it?

utterly convincing.

well I'm convinced.

so am I.

I've even convinced myself not bad eh?

sir the bomb may have been booby trapped.

indeed.

a sophisticated bomb.

obviously the work of a professional.

a military man perhaps.

more than likely.

you admit these bombs require military

skill to assemble so why superintendent

do you persist in concentrating your

entire efforts on most pathetic and

disorganized group of anarchists in Italy.

Pathetic they may look but the

disorganization is only a cunning facade.

And what do we find behind this cunning

facade inspector?

I'll tell you.

A group of ten.

One who is now dead, another under

arrest in Rome, a third an informer

paid by this office,

a Well-known ex-peritrude member of the

fascist MSI, clearly seen in these

photographs going in and out of this

very building.

Oh, well said, Miss Ferletti.

Admit it, Superintendent, she has drawn blood.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Your hand.

Keep it.

I've got a spare.

I know him, I tell you.

I know him.

So do we.

It's a woman.

It's unisex.

This woman is getting out of hand.

Listen!

There have been 173 dynamite attacks in

the last 14 months.

That's 12 a month, one every three days.

It has been proved that 150 of these

were the work of known fascists.

Would you agree with those figures, superintendent?

Sounds a little exaggerated to me, but...

But basically correct.

Maybe.

We can have them checked out.

What are you hoping to achieve by these

rather provocative tactics, Miss Filetti?

Viper.

Are you trying to get us to admit that

decent police officers are conspiring

with paramilitary fascist organizations

to perpetrate atrocities?

It's just his technique.

Jesuit dialectics.

Are you suggesting that government

ministers, members of the judiciary,

perhaps even Mother Church, are

accessories to terrorism?

Has he gone mad?

Mad?

That the arming and training of fascist

bands is financed by the Greek junta

and top industrialists in Italy and Spain?

Mad?

Yes, Miss Filetti, why not bring some

real puss to the surface?

What?

Mad!

It's him!

It's that maniac!

He's in disguise.

So what?

New.

He's a madman.

You're a madman.

You are a journalist for the biggest

Communist Party paper in Europe, Miss Filatti.

Naturally, you want to use your pen to

lance the public boil.

But what will you achieve?

A huge scandal?

A heap of big knobs?

Shunt it off into retirement?

That wouldn't be a bad day's work.

But what happens?

The party gets a pat on the back, the

state remains, and it's business as usual.

Look, see, he's got an eye.

Fuck it.

Of course he's got a fucking eye.

He's got two.

Well, that's the normal number, isn't it?

Why was he wearing an eye patch if he's

got a bloody eye, then?

For amusement.

There you are.

For amusement, see?

Ha ha, fucking hard, eh?

He is not Dino- Hey!

Where were we?

Scandal!

Ah, yes, the people want truth, so

offer them scandal.

The people want jobs, houses, health.

The economic system can't provide, so

offer the people reform.

The state goes on like Old Man River,

still presenting corruption as the

exception to the rule, when the system

the state was designed to protect is

corruption itself.

Corruption is the rule.

You give us a fuck, and I let you off.

Just who exactly are you?

Exactly.

Look!

It's his leg!

His false!

Of course it's false.

It's a false leg.

It's a false, false leg!

Just what is going on here?

I do apologize, Miss Felicity, but the

inspector's modern epilepsy appears to

have taken a ton for the worst!

I am not an epileptic!

That man is an imposter!

He is not...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Yeah, yahoo!

All right, go.

What the heck?

Hands up, back to the wall, or I fall out.

Everyone, I warn you, I'm no longer responsible.

Oh, God!

Right, miss, do me the honor of

handcuffing this lot.

Over there, you two, to the pillar.

What?

Alright, alright, alright, calm down.

You, over there.

Right.

You asshole.

You do me the honour of telling these

people exactly who you are.

With the greatest of pleasure.

That's it, show them all the documents,

all the records from the psychiatric clinic.

You see, fifty years ago, Miss Finetti,

the workers of Europe wanted a revolution.

What did they get instead?

They got depression, they got war, they

got a smothering dose of reforms and an

avalanche of promises.

Subject to paranoid feats.

Psychiatric hospitals, or pymola?

Forgara.

You see?

Scandal.

People love it.

It's like the smell of your own shit.

He's a lunatic!

Exactly!

You mean a mental case came in here?

Passed himself off as a judge!

Reopened the inquiry!

Made me sick!

Yes, he's a nutcase!

A maniac!

When I think of what he put me through!

Nothing to what I'm going to put you

through now.

It's all me now, is it?

You didn't enjoy yourself, I suppose?

I was having a laugh.

Yes, we said that, didn't we, Constable?

I'm laughing, laughing now, aren't we?

Well, I was only scaring him.

You're the bloody nutter.

I'm the nutter.

Well, well, you bloody pushed him, Charlie.

Did I?

Oh, that is a lie, boy.

Oh, my own what I.

Everything's on there in glorious Dolby Mono.

everything you said since I first came in.

it's you.

you know him?

yes Paolo Davidovich Gandolfo.

no!

Rose Pimpenel of the permanent revolution.

notorious Trotskyite sports editor of

Lotte Continua.

use the gun!

I wouldn't!

don't be fooled by Tato.

I can't go off.

I only need half a finger to flick this detonator.

There is no detonator.

Do you want to bet?

A Krupp's gyroscopic agitator.

Krupp's gyroscopic agitator.

Where did that come from?

I always keep a few knickknacks handy.

Put the tape recorder on the desk.

Put a gun.

Join your colleagues.

What are you going to do with that tape?

Make a few hundred copies.

Spread them around.

Plenty of scandal, Miss Filetti.

You ought to be pleased.

You lot won't be around to see it, of course.

What do you mean?

Keys, please, Miss Filetti.

Both of them.

Every copper in Milan will have orders

to shoot me on sight.

I need a good start.

Thank you.

What are you doing?

This bomb will explode in five minutes, precisely.

No!

You're a madman!

Exactly.

You can't intend to commit slaughtering

cold blood.

Why ever not?

Do you think they wouldn't have a look

at them, Miss Filetti?

The children of Hitler.

And Mussolini.

Same breed as the Pinochets of today.

You can't take the law into your own hands.

Do I have a choice?

Justice must be administered openly

through the courts.

I agree.

It's a nice idea, isn't it?

You kill them and you're no better than

they are.

You just demonstrate your extremist

contempt for democracy.

Well said, Miss Feletti.

Help!

What sort of democracy requires the

services of scum like these?

I'll tell you, Miss Feletti, a

bourgeois democracy which wears a thin

skin of human rights to keep out the cold.

but when things hot up when the rotten

plots of the ruling class have failed

to silence our demands when they put

half the population on the dole queue

and squeeze the other half dry with

wage cuts to keep themselves in profit

when they have run out of promises and

you reformists have failed to keep the

masses in order for them and there are

riots on the streets then they shed

their skins and they dump you don't

they just as they did in chile and they

set their wildest dogs loose on us all

for god's sake are you both crazy

there's only three minutes left and you

We're not having a political debate!

Help us, the letting!

What has the tragedy in Chile got to do

with all this?

It's a prize example of the failure of

the peaceful road to socialism.

Oh, fucking hell!

You know the absurd idea that bourgeois

democracy can be gradually transformed

from within?

Rubbish!

Help!

Allende's failure proves exactly the opposite.

He tried to force the pace of the

revolution before the people were fully prepared.

For God's sake!

Two minutes!

You mean he disarmed the workers too

fast, and let them like the Pied Piper

into Santiago Stadium?

Look at them, Miss Filetti, the

political police armed against the people.

You seriously suppose you can disarm

them with a ballot box?

What the hell do you think they're

there for?

Rubbish!

Sheers off!

You're an extremist, a hooligan, a fanatic.

I shan't allow you to go through with

this outrage.

Bravo!

You'll have to kill me too.

one minute you got the stomach for that

no you got the stomach for this the

keys to the handcuffs I'm off you can't

check the bomb out of the window public

street so release them write a story

the evidence dies with me these four

will undoubtedly be acquitted don't

release them you join the ranks of the

dreaded extremists it's all yours miss

Follettie She has to decide, you see.

Some of these questions just can't be

resolved gradually.

So let's see what she decides.

Now that's what we call a happy ending.

The extremist winning hands down.

However, this is British television.

We are obliged to show you both sides

of the argument.

Maria Faletti is a decent woman.

She would ensure that the rule of law prevails.

Go!

Thank you, thank you.

Wait!

She knows.

She knows everything.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

And she was such a lovely woman.

Could it be that there is only one answer?

Good night.