Original subtitles

(theme music playing)

♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪

♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪

♪ WHERE THE KISSES ARE HERS AND HERS AND HIS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪

♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪

- ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪ - ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪

♪ WE'VE A LOVABLE SPACE THAT NEEDS YOUR FACE ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ YOU'LL SEE THAT LIFE IS A BALL AGAIN ♪

♪ LAUGHTER IS CALLING FOR YOU ♪

- ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪ - ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO. ♪

CHRISSY! JANET!

- I GOT SOME BIG NEWS! - (water running)

WHERE IS EVERYBODY? CHRIS...

CHRISSY? JANET?

ARE YOU TAKING A SHOWER?

CHRI...

UH... I KNOW I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN HERE,

BUT I HAVE TO TELL SOMEBODY.

LISTEN, I PASSED MY COMPREHENSIVE TEST IN COOKING SCHOOL.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?

- CONGRATULATIONS! - THANK YOU. (gasps)

- YOU MUST BE VERY PROUD. - WELL, UH... YEAH.

I'M SORRY, I THOUGHT... YOU'RE NOT CHRISSY OR JANET...

THIS IS... THIS IS MY BATHROOM.

WHO ARE YOU? NOT THAT IT MATTERS, YOU KNOW,

BECAUSE... I MEAN, YOU CAN TAKE A SHOWER IN THERE ANYTIME YOU WANT.

- OH, JACK. - YOU KNOW MY NAME!

AM I DREAMING? BECAUSE I DO HAVE DREAMS LIKE THIS.

AND IF THIS IS A DREAM, I WANT TO GET IN THERE RIGHT AWAY.

IT'S NOT. I'M ELEANOR PHILLIPS.

ELEANOR PHILLIPS? I'M SORRY,

HAVE WE EVER SHOWERED TOGETHER BEFORE?

(laughing) NO.

MAYBE MY MAIDEN NAME WILL HELP...

- ELEANOR GARBY? - ELEANOR GAR...

OF COURSE, YOU'RE ELEANOR. YOU USED TO SLEEP IN MY BED.

I MEAN, YOU WERE THE GIRLS' ROOMMATE BEFORE ME.

RIGHT. THEY WROTE ME ALL ABOUT YOU.

OH, UH... MR. ROPER LET ME IN.

HOPE YOU DON'T MIND MY MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE.

OH, NO. HEY, YOU KNOW,

ELEANOR, GET AS COMFORTABLE AS YOU LIKE.

(laughing) OH, GOD, THIS IS GONNA BE A GREAT SURPRISE

FOR CHRISSY AND JANET.

(chuckles) JACK, I'D LIKE TO GET DRESSED.

IF THAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SEAT, I COULD SAVE IT FOR YOU.

OH, NO, THIS? NO, IT'S NOT...

IT'S NOT MY FAVORITE SEAT, UH-UH. (laughs)

- OUT, JACK. - HUH?

OUT, OUT, OUT.

OH, YEAH, RIGHT. YOU DIDN'T THINK I WAS...

- NO, NO. - YOU KNOW WHERE THE TOWELS ARE?

SURE, THEY'RE IN THE OLD PLACE, WHERE YOU LEFT THEM,

'CAUSE YOU LIVED HERE. OH, EXCUSE ME, I'M SORRY.

THEY'RE PLASTIC,

SO THERE'S NO SHATTERED GLASS FOR LITTLE BARE FEET.

THERE IT IS, BACK WHERE THEY BELONG.

I'LL BE OUTSIDE IF YOU NEED ME, OKAY?

(thumps)

JUST CHECKING THE WALL, YOU KNOW,

SOMETIMES IT GETS PLASTERED. (laughs)

- OUT! - I'M GOING.

IF YOU NEED ME I'LL BE RIGHT OUT...

(screams)

I'M SORRY. EXCUSE ME. I WAS JUST...

I WAS JUST TESTING THE LOCK AND... IT FAILED.

- REALLY? GO ON, GO ON. - Chrissy: THEN HE HAD THE NERVE

TO ASK ME TO GO ON ONE OF THOSE

- BACK-TO-NATURE WEEKENDS WITH HIM. - WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

HIS IDEA OF "BACK-TO-NATURE" IS STRIPPING IN THE LIVING ROOM.

(Janet laughs)

- HI, GIRLS! - Janet: HI, JACK.

- Janet: HI. - WHAT'S THE BIG SMILE FOR?

NOTHING, UNLESS YOU WANT TO COUNT THE TWO BIG SURPRISES.

SURPRISES? OH, FANTASTIC, I LOVE SURPRISES.

- REALLY, CHRISSY? - YEAH.

FUNNY HOW YOU NEVER EXPECT THEM.

- RIGHT. - YEAH, THAT'S TRUE.

OKAY, GIVE. WHAT ARE THE SURPRISES?

WELL, YOU'LL FIND OUT ABOUT ONE OF THEM PRETTY SOON.

SO I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT THE OTHER ONE, OKAY? ALL RIGHT.

WHAT HAVE I BEEN PREPARING FOR ALL YEAR LONG?

THE ONE THING IN THE WORLD I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

LINDA SANDOWSKI.

NO! AN "A" ON MY COMPREHENSIVE.

IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT TEST AT COOKING SCHOOL.

- TWO YEARS FROM NOW I WILL BE A CHEF! - All: YES!

OH, JACK, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

- THANK YOU, THANK YOU. - ME TOO!

I THINK SHE'S A LITTLE HAPPIER FOR ME THAN YOU ARE.

OH, YEAH?

- HOW'S THAT FOR HAPPY? - YOU'RE CATCHING UP.

- THANK YOU. - YOUR MOVE, CHRISSY.

- HI, GUYS! - (Chrissy screams)

(all girls screaming)

THAT'S MY SECOND SURPRISE.

ELEANOR.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- JUST CAME TO VISIT. - YOU CAN STAY?

- OH, TERRIFIC! - Janet: OH, GREAT. COME ON, SIT DOWN.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT! GOSH, IT'S BEEN SO LONG.

- YES? - JACK, I'M SORRY.

- HAVE YOU MET ELEANOR? - YEAH, BEFORE YOU CAME HOME.

YOU LOOK CUTE WITH CLOTHES ON.

OKAY, TELL US ALL ABOUT TEDDY.

- HOW'S MARRIED LIFE? - MUCH BETTER SINCE THE DIVORCE.

NO-OO. ELEANOR.

OO-OOH, GOSH, THAT'S TERRIBLE. WE DIDN'T KNOW.

HEY, YOU GUYS, IT'S NOTHING TO GET UPSET ABOUT.

TEDDY AND I JUST GOT TIRED OF FIGHTING OVER THE SAME SILLY THING.

- Chrissy: WHAT WAS THAT? - HOW BIG A JERK HE REALLY IS.

WELL, YOU... COULDN'T YOU HAVE WORKED SOMETHING OUT?

BELIEVE ME, JANET, IT'S ALL FOR THE BEST.

- YEAH, BUT MARRIAGE IS... - NO BUTS!

IT'S OVER.

WHOO, YOU GUYS, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT,

THE THREE OF US TOGETHER AGAIN. ISN'T THAT GREAT?

REMEMBER THAT GUY THAT WOULD NEVER LEAVE US ALONE?

- WHAT WAS HIS NAME, JANET? - WHOO... CRAZY ARTHUR.

Chrissy and Eleanor: YES!

- REMEMBER WHAT HE TRIED WITH CHRISSY? - OH, YEAH.

- Jack: WHY? WHAT DID HE TRY? - I WOULDN'T LET HIM.

WOULDN'T LET HIM DO WHAT?

- NEITHER WOULD I. - (girls scream)

WHAT, WHAT? WOULDN'T LET HIM WHAT?

DO YOU KNOW THAT CRAZY ARTHUR ASKED ME TOO?

- (Eleanor screams) - YOU KNOW THAT CRAZY ARTHUR ASKED ME TOO?

HA-HA, AT THE SAME TIME? WE SHOULD CALL HIM ACROBATIC ARTHUR.

INSTEAD OF CRAZY ARTHUR, THEY SHOULD CALL HIM AC... WELL,

- BECAUSE THERE'RE THREE OF YOU AND ONLY ONE GUY. - Eleanor: YOU LOOK GOOD.

- Chrissy: THANK YOU. - OH, I LOVE YOUR HAIR...

(overlapping)

- WAIT A MINUTE, HELEN. - HMM?

- WHAT DO YOU HAVE THERE? - OH, IT'S YOUR ARMY COT.

I WAS GONNA LEND IT TO THE KIDS WHILE ELEANOR IS HERE.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT. THAT'S MY ONLY SOUVENIR FROM WORLD WAR II.

WORLD WAR II?

YOU BOUGHT THIS AT A GARAGE SALE.

YEAH, BUT FROM A VETERAN.

I BET THAT BED COULD TELL A LOT OF STORIES.

I WISH OURS COULD.

(doorbell rings)

HI, MR. ROPER, I CAME FOR THE ARMY COT.

- OH, HERE IT IS, JACK. - GREAT. THANK YOU.

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT. WHO'S GONNA SLEEP ON THIS?

ELEANOR WILL SET IT UP IN THE GIRL'S BEDROOM.

WHICH GIRL'S BEDROOM?

(hisses)

(Mrs. Roper laughs)

DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO HIM.

HE THINKS THAT HUNK OF JUNK IS WORTH SOMETHING.

- (laughs) - I DON'T THINK, I KNOW IT IS.

I MEAN, HOW MANY THINGS ARE STILL AROUND FROM THE 1940s?

YOU MEAN, BESIDES MY WARDROBE?

HEY, MR. ROPER, DON'T WORRY,

ELEANOR WILL TAKE REAL GOOD CARE OF YOUR COT.

OH, IF IT'S FOR ELEANOR, IT'S ALL RIGHT. SHE WAS A VERY GOOD TENANT.

- THANK YOU. - I MEAN, ELEANOR PAID HER RENT ON TIME,

NOT LIKE SOME TENANTS I COULD NAME.

- RIGHT. I'D BETTER BE GOING, MR. ROPER. - WAIT, WAIT.

- I'D BETTER HELP YOU SET THAT UP. - NO, I CAN FIGURE IT OUT.

JACK, IT'S NOT THAT EASY.

IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING,

YOU CAN CATCH YOUR FINGER... (screams)

- OW, JACK, MY FINGER IS CAUGHT. - WHAT DO I DO?

- OPEN THAT UP. - OPEN IT UP?

- (gasps) - (screams)

(screams)

- I BETTER GO. - (screams)

AND FROM HERE I'M GOING TO SAN DIEGO.

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVE THERE.

BUT YOU'RE GONNA STAY HERE FOR A WHILE, AREN'T YOU?

- JUST A FEW DAYS. - GOOD, GOOD.

- OH, LOOK. LOOK, LOOK AT THIS PICTURE! - WHAT?

- THE THREE OF US AT THE STONES CONCERT. - OH, YEAH.

RIGHT AFTER THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN, YOU RAN UP ON THE STAGE.

YEAH, AND WE HAD TO CARRY YOU HOME.

BOY, WERE YOU KNOCKED OUT!

WELL, REMEMBER,

I HAD ACTUALLY TOUCHED THE GIRL WHO HAD JUST TOUCHED...

MICK JAGGER'S TOE.

All: OH, YEAH.

HERE WE GO... ONE SLIGHTLY USED ARMY COT.

- THANKS A LOT, JACK. - NO PROBLEM.

- I'LL JUST SET IT UP IN HERE LATER, ELEANOR. - REMEMBER THIS?

- OH! - I FORGOT ALL ABOUT THAT DAY.

BOY, ELEANOR, YOU SURE BROUGHT A LOT OF LUGGAGE...

- FOUR BIG SUITCASES! - (Eleanor chuckles)

- I KNOW, IT'S EVERYTHING I OWN. - YEAH.

- LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE NEVER GOING BACK. - I'M NOT.

SO WHAT ARE YOU GIRLS UP TO?

OH, NOTHING, JACK, JUST A LITTLE GIRL TALK. YOU WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED.

OH. OKAY.

IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE IN THE KITCHEN.

I'M MAKING A SPECIAL TREAT FOR DINNER TONIGHT... CHICKEN DU VIN.

- OH, JACK... - NO, NO, JANET.

DON'T THANK ME UNTIL YOU'VE TASTED IT,

AND THEN JUST A SIMPLE HICKEY WILL BE ENOUGH. I'LL MAKE DINNER.

JACK, WE ALREADY ASKED ELEANOR TO COOK DINNER FOR US.

- YOU DID?! - YEAH, FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE.

BEFORE YOU CAME, SHE DID ALL THE COOKING.

OH, I JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANNA TASTE THE DISH THAT HELPED ME

GET AN "A" ON MY TEST.

Chrissy: WE DO, JACK... SOME OTHER TIME THOUGH.

- LOOK... - THEY LOOKED BETTER.

I'VE NEVER HAD SO MUCH FREE TIME BEFORE DINNER. (chuckles)

CHRISSY, YOUR RADIO... YOU KNOW, THE ONE YOU'VE BEEN WANTING ME TO FIX FOR A MONTH?

BRING IT HERE, AND I'LL FIDDLE WITH YOUR DIALS. (chuckles)

YOU DON'T HAVE TO. I ALREADY FIXED IT. IT WAS JUST A LOOSE WIRE.

OH, A LOOSE WIRE? THAT WAS THE FIRST THING I WAS GONNA CHECK.

HERE'S WHERE WE ALL WENT TO DISNEYLAND THAT TIME.

- BOY, THAT WAS A GOOD TIME. - Eleanor: OH, IT SURE WAS.

IF YOU NEED ME, I'LL BE OUTSIDE, SOMEWHERE.

Eleanor: OH, LOOK... LOOK!

- OH, NO. - THERE'S CHRISSY HOLDING HANDS WITH GOOFY.

- (Eleanor chuckles) - THAT ISN'T GOOFY. THAT WAS MY DATE.

(laughing)

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, SWEETHEART?

- (doorbell rings) - I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY!

YES. WHAT?

LOOK... I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.

I ONLY CALL YOU ONCE A MONTH, BUT THAT'S ALL THE FREE TIME I GET.

MY JOB'S GOT A LOT OF PRESSURES.

IT'S NOT EASY BEING A DIAMOND CUTTER.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I DON'T REMEMBER YOU?

HOW CAN I EVER FORGET MY SWEET CAROL...

CAROL. (chuckles)

AS LONG AS THERE'S A MOON ABOVE,

I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER THOSE BEAUTIFUL...

UH, GREEN... GREEN EYES.

AND THAT HAIR... OH, THAT INCREDIBLE...

AUBURN HAIR, YEAH.

YOU'RE FIVE STARS! I MEAN... UH...

I MEAN... NO. I MEAN, UH...

YOU'RE A FIVE-STAR GENERAL...

IN THE ARMY OF LOVE.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK, ARE WE ON FOR FRIDAY?

WELL, TELL ME NOW, BABY, OR I WON'T FLY IN FROM AMSTERDAM.

THATTA GIRL. CIAO.

(kisses)

- (sighs) SHE LOVES ME, JACK. - (laughs)

TELL ME SOMETHING, LARRY, JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY...

YEAH.

HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TELLING THE GIRL THE TRUTH?

YEAH, I WOULD, JACK, BUT I'VE GOT THIS THEORY...

I FIGURE ANY PERSON WHO GETS UP AN HOUR EARLY EVERY MORNING

TO PUT ON EYELINER, LIPGLOSS, AND PLASTIC FINGERNAILS

IS NOT A PERSON WHO WANTS TO HEAR THE TRUTH.

- (laughs) YOU'RE INCREDIBLE. - YEAH.

LISTEN, UH... DO YOU WANNA DO SOMETHING TONIGHT?

NO, I CAN'T. I'M LATE FOR A DATE ALREADY.

DO YOU MIND IF I JUST HANG AROUND HERE... UNTIL YOU'RE READY TO GO?

YEAH, SURE. THIS ISN'T LIKE YOU, JACK.

YOU'VE BEEN HANGING AROUND HERE A LOT LAST COUPLE OF DAYS,

EVER SINCE ELEANOR CAME.

YEAH. WELL, THE GIRLS ARE OLD FRIENDS.

THEY'VE GOT A LOT OF CATCHING UP TO DO, MOSTLY GIRL STUFF,

- NOTHING FOR ME. - UH-HUH.

ELEANOR IS A GREAT GIRL. I MEAN, SHE CAN FIX THINGS, SHE CAN COOK...

- SHE CAN PAY THE RENT. - HMM?

DON'T YOU SEE IT, JACK? THREE GOOD FRIENDS,

ALL FEMALE, REUNITED,

ONE WITH NO PLACE TO LIVE?

(chuckles) YOU GOTTA FACE IT.

- FACE WHAT?! - ELEANOR IS COMING BACK.

YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY OUT.

(laughs) YOU CAN'T BE... ARE YOU SE...

OH, COME ON, LARRY.

JUST BECAUSE THE GIRLS GOT A FEW THINGS IN COMMON...

THAT MEANS NOTHING.

- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. - JUST BECAUSE SHE CAN COOK,

AND DO A FEW OTHER LITTLE THINGS I CAN DO...

YEAH, IT'S UNIMPORTANT.

IT'S UNIMPORTANT.

AND JUST BECAUSE SHE BROUGHT EVERYTHING SHE OWNS WITH HER...

- WE'RE TALKING SHEER COINCIDENCE. - YE... SHEER COINCIDENCE.

- LARRY, I'M ON MY WAY OUT! - THAT'S WHAT I SAID BEFORE.

- I KNOW. - (screams)

(snaps fingers) I GOT IT... GOT IT...

THE ANSWER TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS.

WE'LL GET ELEANOR BACK TOGETHER WITH HER HUSBAND.

SHE HATES HER HUSBAND.

OKAY. WE'LL GET HER TOGETHER WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S HUSBAND.

LARRY, WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT, ANYWAY?

THE GIRLS WON'T THROW ME OUT. THEY LIKE ME TOO MUCH.

YEAH, BUT WITH ELEANOR HERE, WHAT DO THEY NEED YOU FOR?

- PROTECTION? - (chuckles)

WHEN YOU'RE GONE, THEY WON'T NEED ANY. (chuckles)

(doorbell rings)

HI, JACK. LARRY.

I GOT THE NEW CURTAINS FOR YOUR BEDROOM.

- IT'LL ONLY TAKE ME A MINUTE TO PUT THEM UP. - I DIDN'T ASK FOR NEW CURTAINS.

I KNOW.

WHY IS HE PUTTING UP NEW CURTAINS IN MY BEDROOM?

THEY'RE REDECORATING FOR ELEANOR, THAT'S WHY.

- WHICH MEANS IT'S CURTAINS FOR ME. - YOU GOT IT.

- I GUESS THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO. - COME ON. SURE THERE IS.

- WHAT? - COME ON, WHERE'S THE OLD FIGHT...

- DON'T, LARRY. NOT NOW, OKAY? - HUH, THE OLD SCHOOL?

- JACK TRIPPER, COME ON. - COME ON, MAN.

I'M NOT A... WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?

(overlapping)

WELL, WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

A MATCHING SET OF TINKERBELLS?

UH, MR. ROPER, I CAN EXPLAIN.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO. I SHOULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT MYSELF.

NO, NO, NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND...

YOU TWO HAVE BEEN SPENDING A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER LATELY.

HEY, HEY... WHOA, WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE.

I SERVED FOUR YEARS IN THE MARINES.

OH, YEAH? WHAT OUTFIT?

THE FLOUNCING 59th?

OH, WAIT A SECOND. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

I LOVE GIRLS, I GO OUT WITH THEM ALL THE TIME.

MAYBE YOU'RE AMPHIBIOUS.

- JACK... - (high-pitched voice) HE KNOWS, LARRY.

- MR. ROPER... - STAY AWAY FROM ME.

- I JUST... - (crying)

(high-pitched voice) WHAT IS IT, SWEETHEART?

- HE'S GONE. - HE'S GONE? OH, GOOD.

THANKS, MAN. THANKS A LOT.

- WHO STARTED WITH THE ROUGH HOUSING? - (mimicking Jack)

OH! HI, GUYS.

- HI. - WHERE WERE YOU GUYS?

OH, WE WERE... OUT BUYING DOUGHNUTS.

- WOULD YOU CARE FOR ONE, JACK? - NO. NO, THANKS.

- LARRY, EAT THEM WHILE THEY'RE HOT. - SURE.

SO UH... ELEANOR IS NOT WITH YOU?

- NO, SHE'S STILL OUT SHOPPING. - OH, GOOD,

- BECAUSE THERE'S SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU. - BEFORE YOU DO, JACK,

- WE HAVE A FAVOR TO ASK OF YOU. - THIS IS REAL IMPORTANT, JANET.

- OH, SO IS THIS, JACK. - ASK HIM.

I'M GONNA ASK HIM. (clears throat)

TOMORROW NIGHT WE WERE PLANNING

ON HAVING A "SURPRISE WELCOME BACK PARTY" FOR ELEANOR...

YOU KNOW, JUST TO GET ALL OF OUR FRIENDS TOGETHER.

- OH, REALLY? - AND WE WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU WOULD BAKE THE CAKE FOR US.

WHAT?!

OH, SURE, I'M THE ONE WHO'S GONNA BAKE A CAKE FOR ELEANOR.

OH, THANK YOU, JACK.

OH, JACK, WHAT DID YOU WANNA ASK US?

FORGET IT. YOUR QUESTION ANSWERED MINE.

BUT THERE'S SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO SAY TO BOTH OF YOU...

- JACK, CAN I SEE YOU IN THE KITCHEN FOR A SECOND? - I'VE BEEN LIVING HERE...

- JACK? - NOW WHAT...

YOU'LL HAVE TO FORGIVE JACK. IT'S BEEN A TOUGH DAY.

HIS HOROSCOPE TOLD HIM THAT HIS BIORHYTHMS HAD BAD KARMA.

LISTEN TO ME... LAR...!

GEE, JACK SEEMED KIND OF UPSET ABOUT BAKING THE CAKE FOR US.

YEAH. OH, WELL, DON'T WORRY.

IT WILL BE OKAY, WHEN HE FINDS OUT THE PARTY IS REALLY FOR HIM,

FOR PASSING HIS COOKING TEST.

- LARRY, ARE YOU NUTS? - NO, YOU ARE.

BAKE THE CAKE FOR ELEANOR.

WHY? THEY'RE THROWING ME OUT OF MY OWN APARTMENT.

WHO SAYS THE CAKE HAS TO BE GOOD?

- WHAT? - CAN YOU IMAGINE THE LOOK ON SOMEONE'S FACE

AFTER BITING INTO A CAKE THAT TASTES... SAY OF...

SAWDUST? HUH?

JACK, THERE ARE LOTS OF WAYS TO RUIN A PARTY.

- LIKE WHAT? - WELL, SNEEZING POWDERS, SPIDERS IN THE BATH,

- LITTLE HAND BUZZERS... - NO, THAT'S KID'S STUFF.

- AW, OKAY. UH... STREAKING! - STREAKING?

HA-HA! STREAKING, YES! THAT WOULD SHUT IT DOWN REAL FAST.

- STREAKING? THAT'S OLD, ISN'T IT, LARRY? - NO, COME ON.

I WOULDN'T HAVE THE NERVE TO TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES IN FRONT OF THOSE PEOPLE.

- I'LL DO IT WITH YOU. - HUH?!

- COME ON, WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR? - YOU WILL STREAK WITH ME?!

OF COURSE. JACK, BABY...

LOOK, THIS IS YOUR GOING-AWAY PARTY.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL AS GO OUT WITH A BANG.

- YEAH. - (both laughing)

- GIRLS, GIRLS. - Chrissy: WHAT?

- HEY, JACK. WHAT IS IT? - I... I WANT YOU TO KNOW I'D BE HAPPY

- TO BAKE A CAKE FOR ELEANOR. - Janet: REALLY?

- FANTASTIC. - WOW, YEAH. THIS IS GONNA BE A GREAT SURPRISE.

- YEAH. I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT PARTY. - Jack: OH, YEAH.

THIS WILL BE ONE PARTY YOU'LL NEVER FORGET.

(both laugh)

(both laugh)

(all laughing hard)

(chattering)

THE APARTMENT LOOKS SO NICE.

THANKS, PATTY. WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE FOOD LATER ON.

Man: IT LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT.

Janet: OH, YEAH. I THINK IT'S REALLY GONNA BE BIG SURPRISE.

WELL, YOU ALL ENJOY YOURSELVES.

JACK. JACK, EVERYBODY'S WAITING FOR THE CAKE.

- CAN I HELP? - OH, JANET, I THINK EVERYTHING'S UNDER CONTROL,

AND HERE... WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO OUT THERE AND MINGLE?

- LAR... - I'LL BE OUT IN A SECOND, JANET.

- OKAY. THANKS, GUYS. - Larry: BYE.

JACK, JACK, THAT CAKE LOOKS SO REAL!

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE IT OUT OF SAWDUST.

I DID. BELIEVE ME, LARRY, BEFORE THIS WAS A CAKE, IT WAS A BOOKCASE.

- WHOO! - (laughs)

HOW DO YOU LIKE MY STREAKING OUTFIT, HUH?

ONE ZIP, AND I'M READY FOR ACTION.

- OH, IT'S GREAT. - AND...

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE IN RATHER POOR TASTE TO GO COMPLETELY NUDE,

SO I HAD THIS LITTLE SIGN MADE UP FOR THE OCCASION.

"IF YOU SEE ANYTHING YOU LIKE, HONK THREE TIMES."

(laughs)

- HONK, HONK, HONK. - (Jack laughs)

- OKAY, NOW DON'T FORGET THE PLAN. - THE PLAN, OKAY.

I WILL STREAK FROM THE FRONT DOOR INTO THE BEDROOM.

YOU STREAK FROM THE BEDROOM OUT THE FRONT DOOR.

- ALL WE NEED IS A SIGNAL. - DON'T WORRY, CHRISSY IS TAKING CARE OF THAT.

- CHRISSY? HOW? - WELL... NO, I TOLD HER

THAT WHEN ELEANOR GETS HERE, SHE'S TO HAVE EVERYBODY BEGIN

SINGING "FOR SHE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW."

WHEN YOU HEAR THAT, STREAK.

- BRILLIANT! - SO YOU GOTTA SNEAK OUTSIDE AS SOON AS YOU CAN.

- I CAN'T WAIT. LET'S GO FOR IT. - ALL RIGHT.

THIS WILL TEACH THEM TO MESS WITH JACK TRIPPER.

- HA-HA-HA. - GET THE CAKE, COME ON. ARE YOU READY?

HERE WE GO... A SPECIAL CAKE FOR EVERYONE.

YUM-YUM, YUM-YUM.

- ALL RIGHT. COME ON, EVERYBODY, HELP YOURSELVES. - Woman: OKAY, HERE WE GO.

OH, BOY, CAKE?

- Larry: DIG IN, 'CAUSE THERE'S PLENTY. - Jack: YEAH, I WANT YOU ALL

TO HAVE A BIG PIECE, BECAUSE LATER ON

THERE'S GONNA BE A DESSERT THAT WILL REALLY GET YOUR ATTENTION.

OH, HERE WE GO, PATTY.

- THANKS A LOT. - WHOOPS... REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT.

- THERE YOU ARE. - Man: THANKS.

BOY, THIS CAKE LOOKS FANTASTIC. IS IT A NEW RECIPE?

YEAH, WELL, UH... JUST AROUND HERE.

IT'S AN OLD LUMBERJACK'S FAVORITE.

OKAY, ELEANOR, COME ON.

All: SURPRISE, JACK!

(all cheering)

OH, IT WORKED, IT WORKED.

- WE FOOLED YOU. - ME?!

YEAH, THE PARTY'S FOR YOU, FOR GETTING AN "A" ON YOUR COOKING TEST.

- THIS IS FOR ME? - Chrissy: YES.

- Eleanor: IT SURE IS. - SEE?

"CONGRATULATIONS, JACK."

(all cheering)

YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT WE'D FORGET ABOUT YOUR PASSING YOUR BIG TEST, DID YOU?

- GOSH, WE CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT YOU FOR THAT. - YOU DO?

- YEAH. - WHAT ABOUT ELEANOR?

- I CARE ABOUT YOU TOO. - YEAH, IN FACT SHE WAS THE ONE

WHO INSISTED ON HAVING THE PARTY TONIGHT,

BEFORE SHE MOVES TO SAN DIEGO TOMORROW.

- YOU'RE LEAVING? - Janet: YEAH.

CONGRATULATIONS, JACK. HEY, DID YOU LIKE THE PRESENT

THAT STANLEY AND I GOT YOU? YOU KNOW, THE CURTAINS FOR YOUR BEDROOM?

THEY'RE NOT FOR ELEANOR EITHER?

FOR ELEANOR? (laughs)

WHOEVER GAVE YOU CRAZY IDEAS LIKE THAT? (laughs)

- (all laughing) - Chrissy: BOY...

BOY, DID YOU FALL FOR IT!

YOU REALLY THOUGHT THE PARTY WAS FOR ELEANOR, DIDN'T YOU?

- YES, I DID. - YOU EVEN BAKED A CAKE AND EVERYTHING.

YEAH, THE CAKE. THE CAKE!

(Janet screams)

(all scream)

- I WANT IT! - Man: WHOO!

JACK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? JACK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THAT'S EVERYBODY. I THINK THAT... NO, NO! FOR...

MR. ROPER!

JACK, THIS CAKE IS DELICIOUS.

HELEN, WHY CAN'T YOU BAKE CAKES LIKE THIS?

OKAY, EVERYBODY ALL TOGETHER!

All: ♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪

- ♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW... ♪ - LARRY!

- LARRY, LARRY... - GERONIMO!

(women scream)

JACK!

(chuckling)

WHAT WAS ALL THAT ABOUT, JACK?

"WHAT WAS ALL THAT ABOUT?" I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING.

ENCORE, LARRY!

ENCORE! ENCORE!

♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪

♪ HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪

EVERYBODY!

♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW ♪

♪ WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY. ♪

LARRY. NOW COME ON, LAR. I TRIED TO STOP YOU,

BUT YOU WERE TOO FAST FOR ME.

LARRY, LARRY, YOU CAN'T STAY IN THERE ALL NIGHT.

COME ON NOW.

- LAR... - (squeaks)

I'M SO EMBARRASSED.

I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FACE ANY OF YOU AGAIN.

OO-OH, YES YOU WILL, LARRY.

COME ON. YOU KNOW, YOU RAN BY SO FAST

YOU WERE NOTHING BUT A BIG BLUR.

- YEAH, WE COULDN'T SEE ANYTHING REALLY. - UH-UH.

- REALLY? - YEAH.

- OH, I FEEL A LOT BETTER. - OH, GOOD.

- HEY, LARRY. - YEAH.

Both: HONK, HONK, HONK.

(screams)

Ritter's voice: "THREE'S COMPANY" WAS VIDEOTAPED

IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.