Original subtitles

I first started having them when I was a teenager.

And you know, that's, uh...

It bothered me.

It did?

Sure.

I--i had dreams like other guys. Uh...

Girls and, uh, pitching in the world series.

But I was always in my undershorts.

Well, it's not uncommon.

You have dreams about conducting a symphony orchestra

in your undershorts?

This isn't about me.

Sometimes they reoccur.

That's uncomfortable.

Well, it's understandable.

You're a captain.

Captain boxer shorts?

I hate this.

What, jai alai?

No. Being a "b."

A bee?

A bee as in what, bumble?

As in book report.

In school I always had to give mine first--

after adelson and annatelli was Brody.

That's third.

Yeah, well, it felt like first.

Dr. Smith is just updating

the crew's psychological profiles, Jim.

It's not like you're going to remember

that you killed the paper boy.

That's easy for you to say.

You're a wolenczak, a "w."

By that time the teachers were asleep.

Why do we have to lay on the couch

like some loon?

I mean, talk therapy went out

with group sharing and past-life recollections.

Yeah. You know, I think I was, uh...

Fred flintstone in a past life.

You can't be a cartoon in the past.

It would be like saying

you were...Johnny depp in a past life.

I might have been, though, actually,

because I had a lot of girlfriends.

He's still alive, genius.

But I know I was a caveman.

We were all cavemen.

This stuff goes in our file.

It's serious.

Not if you've got nothing to hide.

I just don't like remembering stuff

I've been trying to forget.

The guy's in serious denial.

This guy needs to see a shrink.

Hey.

O.k. We all have to do this.

What are you looking at?

Nothing.

You're next, Lucas.

Uh...

Doctor, whatever happened to the bs?

Well, we'll talk about them along with the birds.

How does that sound?

Embarrassing.

Would you tell dagwood he's next?

I didn't know he had to.

I gave him the day off.

I have discovered the great ray

that first brought life into the world.

At first I experimented only with dead animals,

and then a human heart

which I kept beating for three weeks.

But now...

I'm going to turn that ray on that body

and endow it with life.

And you really believe you can bring life to the dead?

That body is not dead.

[Crowd rioting]

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Are you my father?

Let me look at you.

Uh, are you my father?

In the biblical sense, no.

I'm afraid we've put away the Bible.

Who is my father?

Need someone to take you fishing, do you?

Tell you the facts of life?

There are no facts of life.

There is only fiction.

But...

I am the closest thing you have to a father.

I made you.

It looks like you've turned into a fine young man.

No. I haven't.

You're too hard on yourself, son.

You're blood and bone and muscle.

You have a brain.

But I don't have a heart.

You have a heart, son.

But I'm afraid it beats as black as mine.

Captioning made possible by universal television, national broadcasting company,

and 1994 nci caption club/ grantsmanship

It always ended the same way--

I never scored the touchdown.

I'd always drop the ball.

It was...

It was like I'm under water,

like I can't-- I can't move fast enough.

Often that can mean

one is frustrated over some issue.

No. I'm hardly frustrated, doctor.

You never wanted to play football?

No. My father wanted me to play football.

He was the frustrated one.

He kept harping on it--

"take advantage of your god-given talents."

I wanted to go to the naval academy.

It was so...

Frustrating?

O.k.

But he didn't want me to play against nuns.

We weren't even catholic.

Captain,

this is a private session.

Dag has been arrested for murder.

Grrr-aah!

Rraah!

Wilhelm brown was to be 53 this march,

but he will not be celebrating that birthday.

The good doctor won't be able

to sit on his front porch

and reflect on an esteemed career in genetics.

He won't be able to play golf,

make love...

Or laugh.

Dr. Brown is dead.

DNA samples taken from the scene

match the suspect exactly,

skin cells and fingerprints...

Perfectly.

We have all watched the security video

from the victim's home.

It was not a computer generation.

So you have all seen the murderer,

ladies and gentlemen,

and he sits in this room.

An unfortunate man?

Maybe.

Maybe you don't even believe he is really a man.

He is an Alpha model "k,"

created, coincidentally or not, by the deceased.

Was this an act of revenge?

Maybe.

But it doesn't matter.

All that matters is an innocent man is dead,

and another man killed him--

an Alpha model "k,"

but...

Man or monster,

he must pay.

Dagwood,

you have to take the stand.

O.k., David.

Thank god.

Where should I take it?

[People laugh]

Dagwood, if you didn't do it,

now is the time to say that.

I didn't do it.

No. Not to me, to the jury.

Why?

Because they think you did it.

But I didn't.

Then who did do it?

The man on the wall picture.

The man on the wall picture is you, dagwood.

I know. How does it do that?

This is ridiculous.

Do you think dagwood did it, sir, captain?

I don't know.

I do.

I didn't.

You have to remember where you were

the night the man was killed.

No one told me I had to remember.

I would have remembered

if you told me to remember, sir, captain.

Why do people wear these?

It's supposed to make us look better.

Does dagwood look better?

You look fine.

Mmm...good.

Will the defendant please stand?

We have found the defendant guilty

of murder in the first degree.

Thank you.

Would the defendant care to address the court

before sentencing?

A dress?

It's a suit.

Would you like to say something?

Yes.

Then...say it.

Stand up.

The man on the wall picture who killed a man,

is not the same man

that I am here in-- in front of you now.

That man is a different man.

You've changed?

No.

Then what are you saying?

Dagwood is saying

that I am a different man.

Yes. I'm afraid you are.

And this court has no recourse

but to incarcerate you

for the remainder of your natural life

in the ueo prison for the criminally insane.

Is that a long time?

It's not fair.

It just isn't fair.

Come on, Lucas. He killed a man.

They got it on tape.

But he wouldn't do that.

Maybe dagwood blew some kind of genetic fuse.

I mean, the guy's been using this fake brain.

It's not fake, Tony. It's...

Genetically engineered.

Piccolo, I thought you liked dagwood.

I do, but if dagwood was a new car,

he'd have been recalled to the dealer.

I don't believe it, either, Lucas.

Doesn't matter.

Dagwood's going to the house of many doors

for life.

How can they even sentence him to life?

They don't know how long he'll live.

He stops breathing, they let him out.

60 hundred and 76,

60 hundred and 77,

60 hundred and 79,

60 hundred and 70-10,

60 hundred and 71,

60 hundred and 72.

60 hundred and 72.

There are 60 hundred and 72 dots

on each square in the ceiling.

Dagwood is learning to count

to learn how long to be criminally insane.

Why is it like that?

It's called justice.

A man has been killed, and...

This is the way society demands

that the debt be paid.

No. Why are the 60 hundred and 72 dots

on the ceiling squares?

Do you know what jail is?

Dagwood has always been in jail.

This one just keeps people behind bars.

Mine just keeps me...

Different.

But it's the same jail.

Said prisoner must be in the custody

of military police escorts at all times.

Prisoner is allowed two meals at nutritional standards.

Prisoner's allowed access to toilet facilities

twice a day,

under the direct supervision of transport chaperone.

Prisoner is not allowed to recreate, procreate,

engage in sex, drive, attend public gatherings,

gamble, smoke, or drink alcohol, clear?

We know how this works.

This ape takes a hike on you, it's my ass.

He's not an ape.

He's a dagger.

So don't take him to a gin mill.

Scares the drunks.

He's not an animal.

Convicted murderer.

It's my job to pack him up.

It's your job to take him.

You got 24 hours to do just that.

Holding barrier disengaged. Prisoner coming through.

Hi, Jim. Hi, Jonathan.

I don't want to sit down.

I want to stand.

Standing is what I want.

You might be more comfortable.

Comfortable.

I, uh, I don't want to be comfortable.

What is this comfortable stuff?

Dagwood is going to jail,

and you want to talk

about whether I wet the bed?

Well, I didn't, o.K.?

My parents are divorced.

When it came to denial, my mother was queen.

Can I go now?

I know you're upset, Lucas.

Upset?

No.

No. Try angry.

Because nobody seems to care

that an innocent guy is going to jail

for a crime he didn't even commit.

In light of the evidence,

that's hard to believe.

Look...

Lots of things...

Are hard to believe,

but it's our job as scientists

not to go with the easy answers.

If we did that, we'd all have polio.

When something this tragic happens,

when-- when someone you know

does something terrible, horribly unpredictable,

it can be very frightening.

Some of us might be afraid

we could lose the same kind of control,

do the same kind of thing.

Don't get carried away, doctor.

I mean, in the first grade,

I punched out Dwight Herman

for stealing a cardboard Santa claus.

But he had it coming.

That was once.

Dagwood has to go twice, right?

You can go as many times as you want, buddy.

Hmm.

W-What if I don't have to?

Well, that's o.K., too.

Dagwood!

Stop!

Halt!

Thank you, mister.

Welcome.

Dagwood, if you're gonna do something like that,

you got to let me know.

Hey, mister, why are you like that?

They think I'm bad.

Are you?

No.

Are you?

Uh-uh.

Know what I can do?

Uh-uh.

I can do this.

Know what I can do?

Uh-uh.

I can do this.

Don't do that, mister.

It's o.K.

I didn't know I could.

It feels...Good.

Don't you ever talk to someone like that.

Do you hear me? Ever!

It's all right, ma'am.

I saw that monster on television.

Don't tell me it's all right.

I think she liked me.

This duty sucks.

Yeah. Tell me about it.

He didn't do it, did he?

Darwin doesn't know.

If he didn't do it, who did?

Darwin different. Dagwood different.

Sometimes different Darwins.

Sometimes different dagwoods.

I'd only heard about this place.

Yeah.

But I didn't think it was gonna be this bad.

Looks like hell.

Is this where dagwood is going to live now?

I can't do this, man.

Not now.

Not yet.

Guy's never had a life, Jim.

I know.

You know, we aren't due in till tomorrow.

You're the officer in charge.

Dagwood, is there anything

you've ever really wanted to do?

No.

Nothing?

Nothing is something that dagwood has already done.

I bet you've never been on a Ferris wheel.

What is Ferris wheel?

Hey, sorry, pal. He can't go on.

You're open, right?

Just about.

The rainbow with the handcuffs

can't get on.

Come on, pal. Why not?

Can't ride the rides in leg irons and handcuffs.

Says so in the manual.

Could you make an exception?

What happens I get a systems failure?

He's got to climb off,

hanging upside-down like some banana.

Fire department's here, medics.

Then what?

What if I remove the handcuffs?

What is this, poker?

Can I trust you?

Yes.

That's that killer guy I saw on TV, right?

Yeah.

You wouldn't think they'd like Ferris wheels, would you?

The gentleman might find lobster more to his liking

if he took it out of his shell.

You ought to see this guy rotate tires.

Doesn't even need a Jack.

That's it. That's it. Just go easy. Go easy.

Dagwood is driving.

Yeah, sort of.

O.k. Now step on the brake.

The brake! That's not the brake!

You said it was the brake.

The brake's in the middle.

Where's the middle?

Between the other things!

Other things?

No!

Aah! Uh--

Oh. Fun.

Wait till you try it on the street.

I'm not in the charity business.

You want that, go to social services.

Just to dance, o.K.?

The guy's never danced with a girl before.

What's wrong with him?

Nothing.

Well, not really.

Not really doesn't sound like nothing to me.

Ask Sheila. She likes to dance.

Sheila.

No way, honey.

Oh, come on. Just a dance.

Sorry. No daggers.

It's o.K., you know...

Not dancing.

The other things were very nice.

Thank you.

You're welcome, dagwood.

This stinks.

He's going to the can forever,

and he's never been kissed.

Maybe dagwood will get kissed in the can.

Count on it.

You know, we have to turn him over at dawn.

Which gives us about...

Six hours.

You know, I know this one girl that...

Just might...

Well...

Who?

Hello, dagwood.

Oh.

Mmm, I thought this was the place for dancing.

It is.

W-What are you doing here?

[Music playing]

[I'm in the mood for love plays]

Aah!

Get back! Stay away!

Get out of here!

Hey!

Somebody stop him! Do something!

Who is he?

Get out of here!

Pull over!

Pull over to the side immediately!

It's that dagger.

Shoot out the tires.

Dagwood?

Oh, god.

Dagwood?

Ford! Brody!

Wake up!

He's gone.

Who?

Dagwood.

He's gone?

What happened?

I fell asleep.

You fell asleep?

We were dancing, and then...

I fell asleep.

Dancing? Like you said.

That was it, o.K.?

Oh, man.

Where the hell is he?

That's him-- the killer! It's the dagger!

Commander, forget how it happened.

Tell me why it happened.

He was in your charge and, rightly or wrongly, a prisoner.

I know, sir. I'm sorry.

It--it was a mistake.

But dagwood's never had a life.

We thought--

and you thought what?

Well, we thought we'd give him one...

Even if it was only for a night.

Yeah. Well... You gave him one.

[Heavy breathing]

[Heavy breathing]

He didn't do it, Nathan.

Why do you think that?

Well, i--i did a scan on dagwood, and...

The only thing I got was a frightened child.

Frightened children don't kill people.

I wish that that were true.

The g.E.L.F.,

identified as the escapee

convicted of murdering Dr. Wilhelm brown,

formerly one of the world's leading genetic engineers,

attacked the diner's patrons early this morning.

Authorities have advised the suspect is extremely dangerous

and a state-wide shoot-on-sight order has been issued.

Police are urging all local residents...

Remember. Remember. Remember. Remember.

Remember. Remember. Remember. Remember.

Remember. Remember. Remember. Remember.

Remember. Amember. Amember. A--

Aah-aah! Aah! Aah!

Aah-aah! Aah! Aah!

Aah-aah! Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Sssss!

Aah!

Dagwood remembers.

[Knock on door]

Come in.

I'm sorry, sir. Lucas is missing.

Don't tell me this.

He was really upset about dagwood, sir.

We think he took your motorcycle.

Dagwood. Thank god. Look, uh...

I know you're scared, but you've got to give yourself up.

They're going to kill you.

Take me home.

Um...i--i can't.

You've got to turn yourself in.

Uhh!

Take...me...home!

Dagwood, I'm your friend.

Take...me...

Home!

Grrr!

I've, uh, got a position on your motorcycle, sir.

It's the gen-u-flect lab.

The place closed down about six years ago.

Get this information to commander Ford... And Brody.

Aye, aye, sir.

And, O'Neill...

Tell them to use whatever force is necessary.

Yes, sir.

Lucas?

Lucas?

No. No, go away.

Someone hurt Lucas?

Just leave me alone.

Lucas doesn't like dagwood anymore?

You almost killed me, dagwood.

No. Lucas is my--

please.

Please?

Friend.

I have to go...

To the beginning place.

[Metal sliding]

[Metal sliding]

[Metal sliding]

M-My family.

[Metal sliding]

That dagwood. That is me.

Uhh!

Arrhh!

Dagwood!

Lucas, run!

No! No, you need help!

Uhh!

Rrrhh!

Uhhh!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Only dagwood

can help dagwood!

Uhh!

Where is he?

He's in there.

There's--there's two of them.

Two dagwoods?

It was the other one that killed Dr. Brown.

Watch it!

There he is.

Don't.

Which one are you?

Mmm...

She taught dagwood how to...Dance.

Well, you know... Just a couple of steps.

Come on, dagwood.

Let's go home.

Home.

I didn't say I didn't like dagwood.

I said he had a fake brain.

And that's not hostile?

Hostile? Nah. Hostile's when I flatten a guy

'cause he looks at me the wrong way.

I like dagwood. He could use a new paint job,

but, hey, some people could use a new hairdo, you know?

Don't worry about it, doc. You're a heartbreaker.

Gee, the time flies like the wind, huh?

Yes, it does.

And fruit flies like bananas.

So! We don't want to bill uncle Sam on...

Overtime on account of this brain, right? See ya.

Next!

O.k., when I was 11, I stole my uncle's coin collection.

It knew it was wrong, but I wanted to buy some comic books,

and, well, something came over me, and, uh--

l-lieutenant Brody.

What?

We don't do this lying down anymore.

I knew that.

Is this for me?

Makes people...

Look better.

Thank you.

Thank...

You.

Dagwood.

Why did you run away that night?

Before...

Dagwood didn't have a life.

But then he did.

I wanted to keep it.

[Deep breath]

Dagwood...

Has been kissed.

Captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.

Hi. I'm here with some of the ocean's

most elegant and misunderstood sea animals--the sting ray.

With their flexible cartilage bodies, sting rays are related to sharks,

but unlike sharks, they have no real teeth

and only a long, barbed tail for defense.

They often Bury themselves in sand in shallow water.

To keep from stepping on a sting ray,

drag your feet as you walk in the ocean.

This is called the sting ray shuffle.

It may help you avoid accidental contact with these beautiful sea animals.

See you on our next adventure of seaquest.

Captions copyright 1994 universal city studios, inc.

Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute