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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,075 --> 00:00:22,378 I'm whipping you so hard. 2 00:00:22,444 --> 00:00:23,514 Turn into cream! 3 00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:26,119 - Get a room, you two. - We did get a room, Gene. 4 00:00:26,185 --> 00:00:27,354 It's called the kitchen. 5 00:00:27,421 --> 00:00:29,125 I'm making whipped cream for your mom 6 00:00:29,191 --> 00:00:30,562 for her Mother's Day waffles, 7 00:00:30,662 --> 00:00:32,464 which you kids are supposed to be helping me with. 8 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,468 Sorry, Dad. We have our hands full. 9 00:00:34,603 --> 00:00:35,505 Tina had to make a card, 10 00:00:35,572 --> 00:00:37,208 we had to tell her to make the card. 11 00:00:37,308 --> 00:00:38,911 - Tina, let's see it. - Read it and weep. 12 00:00:38,978 --> 00:00:40,515 Or lightly chuckle because it's pretty funny. 13 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,686 It's a drawing of a mushroom cloud 14 00:00:42,786 --> 00:00:44,556 and all of us flying through the air, and it says, 15 00:00:44,623 --> 00:00:46,459 - "You dropped a mom on us"? - Pretty good, right? 16 00:00:46,527 --> 00:00:49,432 Yeah, but you made this exact same card two years ago. 17 00:00:49,465 --> 00:00:50,935 Damn it, I knew it felt familiar. 18 00:00:51,002 --> 00:00:52,806 We got to think of something else, and quick. 19 00:00:52,872 --> 00:00:54,342 Think of what? - Uh... 20 00:00:54,408 --> 00:00:55,645 Happy Mother's Day! 21 00:00:55,712 --> 00:00:58,083 - Aw, thanks. - Ugh. Happy Mother's Day, Lin. 22 00:00:58,183 --> 00:00:59,586 Wow, you're sweaty. 23 00:00:59,653 --> 00:01:00,788 What's in the box? 24 00:01:00,922 --> 00:01:02,157 Is it a tiny little David Blaine? 25 00:01:02,224 --> 00:01:03,661 Eh, I was thinking about my mother. 26 00:01:03,728 --> 00:01:05,698 And then I started to think about my grandmother, 27 00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:08,236 and I wanted to find a picture of her, and I found this. 28 00:01:08,303 --> 00:01:09,706 A box full of old family stuff. 29 00:01:09,806 --> 00:01:12,579 "Old family stuff." Those are three exciting words. 30 00:01:12,679 --> 00:01:13,915 I wanted to look through it 31 00:01:13,981 --> 00:01:15,585 while we have Mother's Day breakfast. 32 00:01:15,652 --> 00:01:18,624 Aw, here she is. My sweet Grandma Claudia. 33 00:01:18,691 --> 00:01:21,997 Oh, I just loved her so much. Ooh, family tree. 34 00:01:22,064 --> 00:01:23,567 Let's see what we have here. 35 00:01:23,601 --> 00:01:25,437 - Any celebrities or criminals? - Portia de Rossi? 36 00:01:25,505 --> 00:01:27,709 Oh, that says "Peter DeRosa." 37 00:01:27,776 --> 00:01:29,513 Still though, pretty cool. 38 00:01:29,579 --> 00:01:31,449 Wait, why is this whole section crossed out? 39 00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:33,186 Oh, that's because of the feud. 40 00:01:33,253 --> 00:01:35,457 Wha-Wha-What? A feud? 41 00:01:35,525 --> 00:01:37,662 Something interesting happened in our family? 42 00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:40,802 I think you're forgetting about Dad's uncle with huge feet. 43 00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:42,471 Oh, yeah, Uncle Frank. Good swimmer. 44 00:01:42,572 --> 00:01:44,576 Well, it's kind of a long story, but I'll tell you. 45 00:01:44,676 --> 00:01:46,847 This thing started way before I was born. 46 00:01:46,914 --> 00:01:48,517 My great-grandma Maria had four kids, 47 00:01:48,584 --> 00:01:50,153 and they didn't have a lot of money. 48 00:01:50,220 --> 00:01:51,690 One of them, Tony, worked down at the docks. 49 00:01:51,757 --> 00:01:53,326 And he was trying to save up to buy 50 00:01:53,460 --> 00:01:54,963 his dream house in Staten Island. 51 00:01:55,030 --> 00:01:57,034 I think Billy Joel wrote a song about that. 52 00:01:57,101 --> 00:01:59,640 But Joey, the baby of the family, married a rich girl. 53 00:01:59,706 --> 00:02:01,677 I think her father invented the raincoat. 54 00:02:01,777 --> 00:02:03,013 - Probably not. - Shush! 55 00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:05,484 And then Joey and his new rich wife 56 00:02:05,551 --> 00:02:08,289 bought Tony's dream house before Tony could! 57 00:02:08,356 --> 00:02:10,360 - Damn. - So, is that why someone crossed 58 00:02:10,427 --> 00:02:12,231 all of Joey's family out on the family tree? 59 00:02:12,297 --> 00:02:13,466 No. There's more. 60 00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,070 You see, Joey invited the family over 61 00:02:15,170 --> 00:02:16,239 to his new house for dinner. 62 00:02:16,339 --> 00:02:18,476 And my great-grandmother Maria 63 00:02:18,577 --> 00:02:20,314 brought over her famous Bolognese sauce. 64 00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:21,850 Say more about the sauce. 65 00:02:21,917 --> 00:02:24,288 - It was delicious, Gene. - I knew it. 66 00:02:24,355 --> 00:02:25,925 And then it happened. 67 00:02:25,992 --> 00:02:27,662 I didn't say what it was yet. 68 00:02:27,796 --> 00:02:28,998 Sorry, it's just tense. 69 00:02:29,098 --> 00:02:30,535 So, they're eating dinner, 70 00:02:30,635 --> 00:02:32,338 and Joey is just laughing and laughing 71 00:02:32,404 --> 00:02:33,774 about how great his new house is. 72 00:02:33,841 --> 00:02:36,145 But as he reaches for the Parmesan cheese, 73 00:02:36,212 --> 00:02:38,751 Tony goes in with his fork to get more pasta 74 00:02:38,851 --> 00:02:41,890 and accidentally stabs Joey in the hand! 75 00:02:41,957 --> 00:02:43,561 Yes! He forked him! 76 00:02:43,661 --> 00:02:45,397 Joey and his sister Paulina 77 00:02:45,497 --> 00:02:47,101 thought Tony forked him on purpose 78 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,904 because Joey bought Tony's dream house 79 00:02:48,971 --> 00:02:50,708 with Daniela's stupid raincoat money. 80 00:02:50,775 --> 00:02:52,946 - It-it couldn't have been raincoat. - It was. 81 00:02:53,046 --> 00:02:54,783 But Tony swore that it was an accident, 82 00:02:54,916 --> 00:02:57,589 and his sister Claudia, my sweet little grandmother, 83 00:02:57,622 --> 00:02:58,624 believed him. 84 00:02:58,691 --> 00:03:00,628 Joey throws Tony out of the house. 85 00:03:00,695 --> 00:03:03,033 Claudia and her husband Burt, my grandfather, go with him. 86 00:03:03,133 --> 00:03:05,237 And here's the kicker: it's pouring rain. 87 00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:06,607 None of them have raincoats. 88 00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:08,009 They all get wet. 89 00:03:08,109 --> 00:03:09,278 From that moment on, 90 00:03:09,378 --> 00:03:11,149 you were either Team Tony or Team Joey. 91 00:03:11,182 --> 00:03:12,619 So we're on team...? 92 00:03:12,752 --> 00:03:14,088 Tony. All the way. 93 00:03:14,121 --> 00:03:15,658 And Tony's the one who...? 94 00:03:15,725 --> 00:03:17,862 Accidentally forked that jerk Joey. 95 00:03:17,929 --> 00:03:19,265 You never met any Team Joeys 96 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,002 'cause we stopped talking to them, 'cause they're dumb. 97 00:03:21,069 --> 00:03:22,539 And you want to know the worst part? 98 00:03:22,605 --> 00:03:24,141 Then the Great Depression happened? 99 00:03:24,241 --> 00:03:27,247 No. After my lovely great-grandmother Maria passed, 100 00:03:27,314 --> 00:03:29,653 dumb Joey, his wife Daniela and their idiot kid 101 00:03:29,753 --> 00:03:32,424 went over to her house, went through all her stuff 102 00:03:32,491 --> 00:03:34,361 and stole the only written-down copy 103 00:03:34,428 --> 00:03:37,000 of Grandma Maria's famous Bolognese recipe. 104 00:03:37,101 --> 00:03:38,369 They did what?! 105 00:03:38,403 --> 00:03:39,906 My Grandma Claudia knew how to make it, 106 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,375 and she used to make it for me, 107 00:03:41,442 --> 00:03:42,979 and it was delicious, but she died, 108 00:03:43,046 --> 00:03:45,551 and so now I can only taste the sauce in my memories. 109 00:03:45,618 --> 00:03:47,154 - In your mammaries? - Gene. 110 00:03:47,221 --> 00:03:48,456 So now the only people who know 111 00:03:48,557 --> 00:03:50,127 how to make it are those cold-hearted, 112 00:03:50,193 --> 00:03:51,730 house-stealing Team Joey people. 113 00:03:51,797 --> 00:03:54,970 Who wants waffles with homemade whipped cream? 114 00:03:55,036 --> 00:03:57,976 - I do. - I mean, sort of whipped. 115 00:03:58,042 --> 00:04:00,280 It's really hard to do. My wrist hurts. 116 00:04:00,347 --> 00:04:01,683 - Anyway, here you go. - Oh. 117 00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:03,621 Ew. Did you just pour milk on her waffles? 118 00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:05,123 Damn it. The kids didn't help at all. 119 00:04:05,190 --> 00:04:07,695 Because we're, uh, doing our own thing for Mom. 120 00:04:07,796 --> 00:04:09,533 - We're giving it to her later. - We are? 121 00:04:09,599 --> 00:04:11,570 Yes. And it's really, really great. 122 00:04:11,603 --> 00:04:13,707 - Wait, did I miss a meeting? - Ignore Tina. 123 00:04:13,808 --> 00:04:16,580 Why don't we focus on Dad's wet milk waffles for now. 124 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,216 I'll make you new ones. 125 00:04:18,316 --> 00:04:20,788 - Gene will eat those. - Yay! Floppy waffles. 126 00:04:20,888 --> 00:04:23,259 Floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy. 127 00:04:23,359 --> 00:04:25,865 So, Teddy, what'd you get your mom for Mother's Day? 128 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,069 Well, you know how she's pretty tatted up? 129 00:04:28,169 --> 00:04:29,438 What? No. 130 00:04:29,506 --> 00:04:31,109 Yeah, well, she's got a tattoo that she hates, 131 00:04:31,175 --> 00:04:34,549 so I booked her an appointment at a laser tattoo removal place. 132 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:35,450 Okay. 133 00:04:35,551 --> 00:04:36,753 But it's kind of expensive. 134 00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:38,991 - How expensive? - Well, it's $500 a visit, 135 00:04:39,058 --> 00:04:40,628 and it can take a bunch of visits. 136 00:04:40,695 --> 00:04:41,964 Which I wasn't totally aware of 137 00:04:42,030 --> 00:04:43,734 when I was signing her up for the first lasering. 138 00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:45,738 - That's a lot of money. - I know. 139 00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:47,742 - But she really wants it gone. - Why? 140 00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:49,746 - What-What's it a tattoo of? - Uh, I'll show you. 141 00:04:49,813 --> 00:04:52,284 Here, check a look. It's on her upper, upper thigh. 142 00:04:52,384 --> 00:04:54,221 Oh. Gr-Great. 143 00:04:54,288 --> 00:04:55,758 So, it's a tattoo of a bunch of playing cards? 144 00:04:55,825 --> 00:04:57,662 It's a gin rummy thing. She was in a group, 145 00:04:57,762 --> 00:04:59,465 and I guess they all got the same tattoo. 146 00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:01,469 Aw, gin rummy chummies. 147 00:05:01,503 --> 00:05:02,906 Well, not anymore. 148 00:05:02,972 --> 00:05:05,377 My mom plays with, let's say, a lot of flare. 149 00:05:05,477 --> 00:05:07,114 And by "flare," I mean rage. 150 00:05:07,214 --> 00:05:08,551 Your mom sounds intense. 151 00:05:08,617 --> 00:05:10,788 - She's passionate, Bob. - Wait, I have an idea. 152 00:05:10,888 --> 00:05:12,926 Maybe she doesn't have to remove her tattoo. 153 00:05:13,026 --> 00:05:14,963 Why doesn't she just add to what's already there? 154 00:05:15,030 --> 00:05:17,669 Make it into something else? I bet that's cheaper. 155 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,873 - I mean, probably? - Hey, we should brainstorm. 156 00:05:19,906 --> 00:05:22,912 - Ooh, we can use the chalkboard. - Oh, uh-- Heh. 157 00:05:22,979 --> 00:05:24,850 That's where I put the Burger of the Day that I wrote, 158 00:05:24,916 --> 00:05:27,755 carefully, so people know what it is. 159 00:05:27,822 --> 00:05:28,924 And you erased it. 160 00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,928 This is just for a minute. I'll remember it. 161 00:05:31,028 --> 00:05:33,634 - It was a something-something burger. - Yup. 162 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,303 So, what are we getting for Mom? 163 00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:36,840 A different card from Tina? 164 00:05:36,907 --> 00:05:38,409 Oh, okay. Lot of pressure. 165 00:05:38,511 --> 00:05:40,748 Wait. O-mama bin Lovin'? 166 00:05:40,848 --> 00:05:41,617 That's been done. 167 00:05:41,683 --> 00:05:43,219 No. What we're gonna do is 168 00:05:43,253 --> 00:05:45,658 get that old family sauce recipe and we're gonna cook it for Mom 169 00:05:45,758 --> 00:05:48,531 and give her the greatest Mother's Day dinner of all time. 170 00:05:48,631 --> 00:05:50,066 You had me at "sauce." 171 00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:51,469 Where are we gonna get the recipe? 172 00:05:51,537 --> 00:05:53,473 I found out where Lorraine lives. 173 00:05:53,541 --> 00:05:55,645 - Who's Lorraine? - Joey's daughter. 174 00:05:55,711 --> 00:05:57,347 Got it. Who's Joey again? 175 00:05:57,414 --> 00:05:59,251 He's Great-Grandma Claudia's brother. 176 00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,387 Just look at this. 177 00:06:00,453 --> 00:06:02,190 Mom said Joey took the recipe. 178 00:06:02,291 --> 00:06:04,563 Since he's passed on, smart money is that 179 00:06:04,629 --> 00:06:06,633 his only daughter, Lorraine, has it now. 180 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,604 Guess what. She lives in Bottom Hook, 181 00:06:08,704 --> 00:06:09,806 which is only eight miles away. 182 00:06:09,873 --> 00:06:11,677 Yes. Louise, this is such a good idea. 183 00:06:11,710 --> 00:06:13,547 - I know. - Wait, how are we gonna get there? 184 00:06:13,647 --> 00:06:14,583 No clue. 185 00:06:14,649 --> 00:06:15,585 You kids help out around here, right? 186 00:06:15,651 --> 00:06:17,020 I-I'm just checking because 187 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,693 sometimes it feels like you don't help out at all. 188 00:06:19,759 --> 00:06:21,730 - We're taking a hiatus. - Dad, just shush. 189 00:06:21,830 --> 00:06:24,134 We think we found where the sauce recipe might be. 190 00:06:24,201 --> 00:06:27,274 It's only eight miles away at Mom's cousin Lorraine's house. 191 00:06:27,341 --> 00:06:28,544 Go get your car keys. 192 00:06:28,611 --> 00:06:30,213 Oh, that's actually a really sweet idea, 193 00:06:30,313 --> 00:06:31,750 but we can't leave your mom alone 194 00:06:31,817 --> 00:06:33,721 in the restaurant on Mother's Day. 195 00:06:33,787 --> 00:06:35,725 - Boo. - Don't boo me. 196 00:06:35,791 --> 00:06:39,031 Look, maybe you guys can save this idea for next year. 197 00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:41,035 - Boo. - Stop booing me. 198 00:06:41,102 --> 00:06:43,006 What if we get another ride? 199 00:06:43,072 --> 00:06:44,208 Do you know someone with a car? 200 00:06:44,308 --> 00:06:45,678 And don't say Ken because he's not real. 201 00:06:45,745 --> 00:06:47,615 He is real and he's a very good driver, 202 00:06:47,715 --> 00:06:49,151 but he's getting his Jeep lowered today. 203 00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:51,990 I think I might know someone who could take us. 204 00:06:52,057 --> 00:06:54,161 Is it someone we know and trust? 205 00:06:54,228 --> 00:06:55,665 It's someone we know. 206 00:06:55,731 --> 00:06:57,735 So I got my license un-suspended, 207 00:06:57,802 --> 00:07:00,073 then they said I needed to take the eye test again, 208 00:07:00,173 --> 00:07:02,545 but I was like, "Nah, this prescription is fine." 209 00:07:02,612 --> 00:07:03,981 Oh! 210 00:07:04,081 --> 00:07:05,818 Sorry. This road is so curvy. 211 00:07:08,791 --> 00:07:11,295 Ugh, I can't believe we're actually going 212 00:07:11,395 --> 00:07:13,066 to that punk Lorraine Parcone's house. 213 00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:15,938 And possibly to a soft serve drive-through on the way? Eh? 214 00:07:16,038 --> 00:07:17,842 Aunt Gayle, you and Mom still get pretty frothy 215 00:07:17,909 --> 00:07:20,246 about the whole forking thing, huh? 216 00:07:20,347 --> 00:07:21,683 It started with the forking. 217 00:07:21,783 --> 00:07:23,721 Then there was the recipe theft, of course, 218 00:07:23,787 --> 00:07:25,423 but the bad blood's been passed down 219 00:07:25,524 --> 00:07:26,994 from generation to generation. 220 00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:29,666 You know about the wedding incident? No. 221 00:07:29,733 --> 00:07:31,670 It was my mother and father's wedding-- 222 00:07:31,737 --> 00:07:33,941 your grandparents-- and my Grandma Claudia 223 00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:37,214 made them invite everyone to try to make peace. 224 00:07:37,314 --> 00:07:38,717 It was a disaster. 225 00:07:38,784 --> 00:07:40,521 Lorraine Parcone wore white. 226 00:07:40,588 --> 00:07:42,224 I mean, I think it was a full wedding dress. 227 00:07:42,324 --> 00:07:45,296 - Poor Grandma Gloria. - Well, she got Lorraine back. 228 00:07:45,397 --> 00:07:46,399 Literally. 229 00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:47,669 She poured punch down her back, 230 00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:48,971 and then she punched her in the back. 231 00:07:49,071 --> 00:07:50,775 I hear it was a beautiful wedding. 232 00:07:50,841 --> 00:07:51,643 Sounds lovely. 233 00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:53,313 Well, you know me, Aunt Gayle. 234 00:07:53,379 --> 00:07:54,849 I love a good family feud. 235 00:07:54,949 --> 00:07:56,953 But today, the plan is to put all that aside. 236 00:07:57,054 --> 00:07:59,759 Tomorrow, you can go back to feuding it up. Okay? 237 00:07:59,826 --> 00:08:01,863 Yeah, do it for Mom. It's Mother's Day. 238 00:08:01,963 --> 00:08:04,936 I mean, she's not your mother, but she's a damn good woman. 239 00:08:05,036 --> 00:08:05,938 Ugh, Mother's Day. 240 00:08:06,038 --> 00:08:07,775 You know, it's actually been proven 241 00:08:07,842 --> 00:08:09,411 that owning and taking care of cats 242 00:08:09,546 --> 00:08:12,451 is 4,000 times harder than being a mom to a human. 243 00:08:12,552 --> 00:08:15,190 - Did your cats get you a present? - Not yet. 244 00:08:15,256 --> 00:08:17,094 Maybe they're just waiting for the right moment 245 00:08:17,227 --> 00:08:20,601 and tonight you're gonna find like 50 dead birds in your bed. 246 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,337 Can you imagine? 247 00:08:22,404 --> 00:08:25,978 Okay, you didn't like the wacky broom idea 248 00:08:26,045 --> 00:08:27,782 - where the cards were the end of the wacky broom. - Nope. 249 00:08:27,849 --> 00:08:29,519 You didn't like the giant eyebrow idea 250 00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:32,257 where the cards were a giant eyebrow over an eye. 251 00:08:32,324 --> 00:08:34,395 - Terrifying. - But what about this? 252 00:08:34,461 --> 00:08:36,867 I present to you long hair lady. 253 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,371 - That hair is long. - You like it? 254 00:08:39,438 --> 00:08:41,643 I like it. I just think it's also bad. 255 00:08:41,743 --> 00:08:43,379 Oh, I got one. I just thought of one. 256 00:08:43,446 --> 00:08:45,216 All right, hang on. I'm coming around. 257 00:08:46,620 --> 00:08:48,156 Okay, okay. Grabbing the chalk. 258 00:08:48,256 --> 00:08:51,630 Uh, you could make all the cards look like an accordion. 259 00:08:51,696 --> 00:08:53,499 So it's like an accordion lady. 260 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,903 A lady who plays the accordion? 261 00:08:55,003 --> 00:08:57,942 No, kind of like a lady who is an accordion. 262 00:08:57,975 --> 00:08:59,211 - Oh. - Huh. 263 00:08:59,278 --> 00:09:01,616 Came all the way out here to do that, huh? 264 00:09:01,683 --> 00:09:03,887 Yeah. Oh, the burger's burning. 265 00:09:03,987 --> 00:09:05,624 I mean, not burning. It-It's perfect. 266 00:09:05,725 --> 00:09:08,831 I'm just gonna, uh, run back and see how perfect it is. 267 00:09:09,899 --> 00:09:11,435 Remember, everyone, 268 00:09:11,503 --> 00:09:13,306 no matter how awful this Lorraine lady is, 269 00:09:13,406 --> 00:09:15,878 we got to stick to the plan: kill her with kindness. 270 00:09:15,945 --> 00:09:18,149 - I heard "kill." - No, no, no. Kindness. 271 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,888 Right. But also, what if we just start, like, 272 00:09:20,955 --> 00:09:23,092 a little tiny fire in her house? 273 00:09:23,159 --> 00:09:24,963 - Aunt Gayle, no. - Oh, hi. 274 00:09:25,063 --> 00:09:27,434 Uh, we are looking for a Lorraine Parcone. 275 00:09:27,502 --> 00:09:29,471 Would the Lorraine of the house be home? 276 00:09:29,606 --> 00:09:31,777 She is not. But I am her son. 277 00:09:31,843 --> 00:09:34,047 I'm Nico. Uh, who are all of you? 278 00:09:34,081 --> 00:09:35,350 Oh, I'm Louise. 279 00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:37,154 This is my brother Gene and my sister Tina. 280 00:09:37,287 --> 00:09:40,594 And we're... your cousins! 281 00:09:40,661 --> 00:09:42,130 Well, third cousins. I think. 282 00:09:42,197 --> 00:09:45,638 - So we're totally fine to marry. - And we're not enemies at all. 283 00:09:45,671 --> 00:09:47,040 Oh. Okay, great. 284 00:09:47,107 --> 00:09:49,411 And you must be their mom-slash-also my cousin? 285 00:09:49,512 --> 00:09:51,415 - Happy Mother's Day. - Oh, right. 286 00:09:51,516 --> 00:09:53,352 I-I am their mother. Yes. 287 00:09:53,419 --> 00:09:54,488 That is what I am. 288 00:09:54,522 --> 00:09:56,526 I'm Linda, the homelier one. 289 00:09:56,626 --> 00:09:58,429 Gayle, my sister, is a trial lawyer 290 00:09:58,496 --> 00:10:00,534 and a model for a bikini corporation. 291 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,805 Okay. Well, come on in. 292 00:10:02,905 --> 00:10:04,108 My mom should be back soon. 293 00:10:04,174 --> 00:10:05,811 She went out to pick up some groceries. 294 00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:07,414 That's a fun Mother's Day errand. 295 00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:09,451 So, what brings you all here today? 296 00:10:09,519 --> 00:10:10,821 Such a good question. 297 00:10:10,921 --> 00:10:13,059 We were in the area and thought we'd drop by 298 00:10:13,159 --> 00:10:15,063 and meet some cousins and just visit. 299 00:10:15,163 --> 00:10:17,869 - We don't want anything from you! - So, how are we related exactly? 300 00:10:17,935 --> 00:10:19,772 You're not from my great-great-uncle Tony's 301 00:10:19,806 --> 00:10:21,408 side of the family, are you? 302 00:10:22,512 --> 00:10:25,016 Is what my mother would ask if she were here. 303 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,953 But I don't care. I'm just glad to meet some cousins. 304 00:10:27,087 --> 00:10:29,559 Can I call you "cuz"? Everybody okay with "cuz"? 305 00:10:29,626 --> 00:10:30,794 Abso-cuz-lutely. 306 00:10:30,861 --> 00:10:32,130 Hey, you don't have a few minutes 307 00:10:32,230 --> 00:10:34,368 to bust out the photo albums or, I don't know, 308 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:38,242 old family recipes and just sit around and get into it, do you? 309 00:10:38,309 --> 00:10:41,115 Well, the paint's got to dry on my Buckaroo Banzai figurine. 310 00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,119 Buckaroo Banzai? Buckaroo Banzai? No? 311 00:10:43,186 --> 00:10:44,889 Uh, I'll tell you about it. Let's go. 312 00:10:44,989 --> 00:10:46,626 You guys, this is gonna be 313 00:10:46,726 --> 00:10:49,164 easier than I thought, but we have to get the recipe 314 00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:50,233 before Lorraine gets home. 315 00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:52,270 Aunt Gayle, why did you say you were our mom? 316 00:10:52,337 --> 00:10:53,807 I don't know. It just came out. 317 00:10:53,874 --> 00:10:56,145 But hold my hand and call me Mom and let me give you advice. 318 00:10:56,245 --> 00:10:57,949 You should part your hair in the middle. 319 00:10:58,015 --> 00:11:00,486 - No, I don't want to do that. - You're grounded. 320 00:11:00,554 --> 00:11:02,057 Okay, here we go. 321 00:11:02,123 --> 00:11:04,629 It's a lady with long hair driving a race car. 322 00:11:04,696 --> 00:11:06,098 Looks like she's in a bathtub. 323 00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:08,637 - Does your mom like race cars? - Everyone likes race cars. 324 00:11:08,704 --> 00:11:11,643 Everyone likes baths. It could just be a bathtub. 325 00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:13,346 Or she could have no tattoo there, 326 00:11:13,412 --> 00:11:14,782 which was my original present! 327 00:11:14,849 --> 00:11:16,452 Hey, speaking of Mother's Day presents, 328 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:17,955 the kids have been gone for a while. 329 00:11:18,022 --> 00:11:19,324 Are you really not gonna tell me 330 00:11:19,391 --> 00:11:21,730 where Gayle took them to get my gift? Come on! 331 00:11:21,863 --> 00:11:24,201 I'm not gonna tell you. It's a surprise. 332 00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:25,403 Is it Vermont? 333 00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:26,706 - What? - Did they drive up to Vermont 334 00:11:26,806 --> 00:11:27,942 to get me a blanket? 335 00:11:28,042 --> 00:11:29,646 I bet Vermont has great blankets. 336 00:11:29,779 --> 00:11:31,015 That-- No. 337 00:11:31,048 --> 00:11:33,152 I can tell you that they're not doing that. 338 00:11:33,219 --> 00:11:35,123 Now I know it's not a blanket. Good job, Bob. 339 00:11:35,189 --> 00:11:37,494 Okay, I went with the bathtub thing. 340 00:11:37,595 --> 00:11:38,496 I gave her a bar of soap. 341 00:11:38,630 --> 00:11:39,933 Why does the bathtub have wheels? 342 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,536 'Cause it was a race car! 343 00:11:41,636 --> 00:11:43,039 And here's my grandpa Joey again. 344 00:11:43,139 --> 00:11:44,642 This is when he started sitting a lot. 345 00:11:44,742 --> 00:11:45,911 Wow. I love these pictures. 346 00:11:46,011 --> 00:11:47,480 But do you know what I also love? 347 00:11:47,548 --> 00:11:50,019 Written stuff: letters, laundry lists, 348 00:11:50,119 --> 00:11:51,890 lists of ingredients or something. 349 00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:53,794 Ooh, there's another album. I know where it is. 350 00:11:53,894 --> 00:11:55,063 I think there are a couple of pictures 351 00:11:55,163 --> 00:11:56,633 of Grandpa Joey standing in that one. 352 00:11:56,700 --> 00:11:58,369 We got to find that recipe and get out of here. 353 00:11:58,436 --> 00:12:00,841 I'm gonna move that stool over and check on top of the fridge. 354 00:12:00,941 --> 00:12:02,177 I see some cookbooks. 355 00:12:02,244 --> 00:12:04,047 Tina, help me. Gayle, what are you doing? 356 00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:05,818 I'm gonna scratch Joey's eyes out. 357 00:12:05,918 --> 00:12:08,657 - Nope, nope. - Don't talk to your mother that way. 358 00:12:08,724 --> 00:12:11,529 Ooh, recipe box. Recipe box. 359 00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:12,965 Flipping through. 360 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,169 - Wait. Lasagna. - We're not looking for lasagna. 361 00:12:15,236 --> 00:12:17,909 - Maybe it's looking for us. - He's coming back. 362 00:12:17,942 --> 00:12:19,378 - Give it to me. - No, no, no. 363 00:12:19,478 --> 00:12:21,415 Well, look at that. I can move this stool. 364 00:12:21,549 --> 00:12:23,687 - Oh, hey, cuz. - Look what I got. 365 00:12:23,754 --> 00:12:25,356 - Ooh, I think Mom's home. - Oh, no. 366 00:12:25,423 --> 00:12:28,029 - Do I look like I've been trying to find a job? - So much. 367 00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:30,935 Nico, who's in my spot? Ugly little car. 368 00:12:31,035 --> 00:12:32,571 Crap, crap, crap. What do we do? 369 00:12:32,638 --> 00:12:34,274 Ah. Who are you people? 370 00:12:34,341 --> 00:12:37,314 Run! I mean, hey, you. 371 00:12:40,854 --> 00:12:42,692 - Wait, who are they? - They're our cousins. 372 00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:45,531 Yeah, Gene, Tina and me, Louise. 373 00:12:45,597 --> 00:12:48,202 And Linda. We were just headed out. 374 00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:50,975 Yup, we're taking our mom to get washed. 375 00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:52,712 - A brunch and wash. - I'm filthy. 376 00:12:52,812 --> 00:12:54,849 Nico, you have been nothing but delightful. 377 00:12:54,949 --> 00:12:56,886 Lorraine, incredible to meet you. 378 00:12:56,987 --> 00:12:58,857 - Are we hugging? I can't tell. - Wait. 379 00:12:58,957 --> 00:13:00,460 Did you say your name was Linda? 380 00:13:00,527 --> 00:13:03,065 Yes. And these are my three beautiful children 381 00:13:03,132 --> 00:13:04,902 that I home-birthed while watching TV 382 00:13:04,969 --> 00:13:07,975 because birth isn't as hard as people are always saying it is. 383 00:13:08,075 --> 00:13:10,748 So you're Gloria's daughter? 384 00:13:10,848 --> 00:13:12,518 I am. And that's really true. 385 00:13:12,618 --> 00:13:15,524 Nico, do you realize what you've done? 386 00:13:15,624 --> 00:13:16,425 Uh, no. 387 00:13:16,526 --> 00:13:19,031 You've let the foxes into the henhouse. 388 00:13:19,097 --> 00:13:20,534 You've invited the blood of Tonys 389 00:13:20,601 --> 00:13:23,306 - into this house of the blood of Joeys! - Ah! 390 00:13:23,372 --> 00:13:26,445 So, we know there's some history in our family, 391 00:13:26,513 --> 00:13:28,149 but we swear, we come in peace. 392 00:13:28,215 --> 00:13:31,021 The same way Tony came to dinner in peace 393 00:13:31,121 --> 00:13:34,161 all those years ago and forked my grandfather? 394 00:13:34,261 --> 00:13:36,866 The same way your Grandma Gloria came in peace 395 00:13:36,933 --> 00:13:38,570 when she poured punch down my back 396 00:13:38,670 --> 00:13:40,607 at her wedding and then punched me? 397 00:13:40,674 --> 00:13:42,778 Well, we should go move that ugly car. 398 00:13:42,845 --> 00:13:44,448 You're not leaving. Why'd you come here? 399 00:13:44,515 --> 00:13:46,853 - What did you do? - Here's the thing. 400 00:13:46,886 --> 00:13:48,322 We actually came here to say 401 00:13:48,389 --> 00:13:51,362 - we think your side is right. - What? 402 00:13:51,495 --> 00:13:52,765 - What? Ow. - Yeah. 403 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,034 That's why we're really here. 404 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,938 To tell you that our side of the family 405 00:13:56,005 --> 00:13:58,610 is dumb and stabby and bad. 406 00:13:58,643 --> 00:13:59,679 - Really? - Okay. 407 00:13:59,746 --> 00:14:00,781 Really. Right, guys? 408 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,150 It's not easy being a Tony. 409 00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:04,154 Oh, man, yeah. "Be a Tony," they said. 410 00:14:04,221 --> 00:14:06,191 "It'll be easy," they said. 411 00:14:06,258 --> 00:14:07,360 Well, it's not! 412 00:14:07,427 --> 00:14:09,231 Yeah, it's the worst. Ugh! 413 00:14:09,297 --> 00:14:12,838 Even our, uh, mom agrees. Right, Mommy? 414 00:14:12,938 --> 00:14:14,141 Yes, I do. 415 00:14:14,207 --> 00:14:16,178 Well, you're right. They're the worst. 416 00:14:16,245 --> 00:14:19,151 But I guess it's not your fault you come from garbage. 417 00:14:20,286 --> 00:14:22,123 Hey, I got a rotisserie chicken for Nico. 418 00:14:22,190 --> 00:14:23,927 Uh, he eats so many chickens. 419 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,396 And I have Sprite. You like Sprite? 420 00:14:25,496 --> 00:14:27,902 You want to stay for some Sprite and some chicken? Huh? 421 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,371 Oh, we should really get going. 422 00:14:29,471 --> 00:14:32,243 - It's Sprite and chicken time, baby! - Gene. 423 00:14:32,343 --> 00:14:34,247 Mom, do we really have to give them my chicken? 424 00:14:34,347 --> 00:14:36,485 Yes, Nico! You're sharing your chicken. 425 00:14:36,519 --> 00:14:38,422 Oh, that's Mom. 426 00:14:38,489 --> 00:14:41,095 She said she's sorry it took so long to respond. 427 00:14:41,195 --> 00:14:42,397 She was at an estate sale 428 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,267 and she got some really good Rollerblades. 429 00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:46,405 Oh! She likes the long hair bathtub lady. 430 00:14:46,472 --> 00:14:48,309 Okay. With the wheels? 431 00:14:48,342 --> 00:14:51,248 Wait. She said she needs to "see it on skin." 432 00:14:51,315 --> 00:14:53,687 Mom, just draw it right on your thigh. 433 00:14:53,787 --> 00:14:56,325 She says she can't. She's rollerblading. 434 00:14:56,358 --> 00:14:57,360 Ooh, Teddy. 435 00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:59,197 We draw it on your thigh and send a picture. 436 00:14:59,264 --> 00:15:01,669 My thighs are just a tiny bit hairier than my mom's. 437 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:05,476 Okay. So we do it on your back and pretend it's a thigh? 438 00:15:05,544 --> 00:15:07,948 - Eh, I-I-I don't know. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 439 00:15:08,015 --> 00:15:10,086 - Take your shirt off. - Okay. 440 00:15:10,186 --> 00:15:11,689 H-He'll-He'll put his shirt back on soon. 441 00:15:11,756 --> 00:15:12,357 Enjoy your burger. 442 00:15:12,424 --> 00:15:14,529 Sorry it's not home-cooked. 443 00:15:14,595 --> 00:15:17,100 And it's not that warm and the soda's not cold. 444 00:15:17,233 --> 00:15:19,137 I'll never eat chicken any other way. 445 00:15:19,237 --> 00:15:20,974 I can't believe you gave them the drumsticks. 446 00:15:21,041 --> 00:15:23,078 Hush! Guests get the drumsticks! 447 00:15:23,145 --> 00:15:24,414 Well, that was delicious. 448 00:15:24,448 --> 00:15:25,884 Got to save some room for brunch, though. 449 00:15:26,018 --> 00:15:27,153 Right, everybody? 450 00:15:27,220 --> 00:15:29,157 Yes, let's leave. I'll take my fanny pack. 451 00:15:29,224 --> 00:15:31,028 - I'll take my chicken. - Okay, bye. 452 00:15:31,128 --> 00:15:32,598 No, no. Don't go yet. 453 00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:34,234 We're having such a nice visit, 454 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:37,006 and you were gonna say bad stuff about your grandparents. 455 00:15:37,073 --> 00:15:38,342 Sit, sit, sit. 456 00:15:38,409 --> 00:15:39,612 - Okay. - Sure. 457 00:15:39,745 --> 00:15:41,014 Can someone please pass the chicken? 458 00:15:41,081 --> 00:15:43,085 So, Grandma Gloria. Yuck, right? 459 00:15:43,152 --> 00:15:44,387 - Oh, yuck. Yeah. - Ugh. The worst. 460 00:15:44,488 --> 00:15:46,258 Right, Mom? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 461 00:15:46,358 --> 00:15:48,496 Yeah, I didn't have another dress to wear to her wedding, 462 00:15:48,563 --> 00:15:52,003 so I wore my wedding dress, and somehow I'm the bad guy? 463 00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:53,105 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 464 00:15:53,172 --> 00:15:54,441 Linda, have some chicken. 465 00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:56,445 - I don't want chicken. - I'll have some chicken. 466 00:15:56,513 --> 00:15:59,317 Ah! And that voice. Everyone on that side. 467 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,623 Linda, you are lucky you didn't get it. 468 00:16:01,689 --> 00:16:03,058 - Mm-hmm. - Have some chicken. 469 00:16:03,192 --> 00:16:05,363 - I'd like the chicken. - Ah, those people make me sick. 470 00:16:05,463 --> 00:16:06,900 Linda, seriously, have some chicken. 471 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,104 - You don't like chicken? - Fine, I'll get it myself. 472 00:16:09,171 --> 00:16:10,707 All right, I'll have some chicken! 473 00:16:10,774 --> 00:16:11,609 Ow! 474 00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:14,047 Did you just stab my sweet baby boy Nico? 475 00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:15,149 It was an accident. 476 00:16:15,216 --> 00:16:16,519 I just wanted some chicken. 477 00:16:16,586 --> 00:16:18,389 - Okay, gosh, look at the time. - Bye-bye. 478 00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:20,828 Oh, I dropped my fork that I didn't stab you on purpose with. 479 00:16:20,928 --> 00:16:22,363 I'll pick it up. 480 00:16:23,465 --> 00:16:25,069 Oh, no. Uh-oh. Oh, God. 481 00:16:25,102 --> 00:16:26,606 Wait! Is that my recipe box? 482 00:16:26,706 --> 00:16:29,812 - You stole my recipes? - You can't prove anything. 483 00:16:29,912 --> 00:16:32,050 Well, this has just been delightful. 484 00:16:35,557 --> 00:16:37,528 Of course you Tonys come in our home, 485 00:16:37,628 --> 00:16:41,435 fork my boy and try to steal my recipes. 486 00:16:41,536 --> 00:16:42,505 They ate my drumsticks. 487 00:16:42,571 --> 00:16:45,209 Okay, yes, we did all of those things. 488 00:16:45,309 --> 00:16:48,115 No matter how much we told someone to be cool. 489 00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:49,451 It was an accident, sort of. 490 00:16:49,552 --> 00:16:51,355 But, listen, we wanted to give our mom 491 00:16:51,388 --> 00:16:52,858 something special for Mother's Day. 492 00:16:52,958 --> 00:16:54,595 - The brunch and wash? - No, the recipe 493 00:16:54,729 --> 00:16:57,535 for her great-grandma Maria's Bolognese sauce. 494 00:16:57,635 --> 00:16:59,004 And that's the whole truth. 495 00:16:59,104 --> 00:17:00,741 - Well, she's also not our mom. - Right. Good point. 496 00:17:00,841 --> 00:17:02,912 I'm Linda's brilliant sister Gayle. 497 00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:04,247 So now that's the whole truth. 498 00:17:04,347 --> 00:17:05,984 Also, I haven't brushed my teeth in four weeks. 499 00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:07,287 There, that's it! 500 00:17:07,353 --> 00:17:09,057 Why would you think I would have that recipe? 501 00:17:09,124 --> 00:17:11,161 Because you're no-good Joeys? 502 00:17:11,228 --> 00:17:12,631 We don't have it. The Tonys do. 503 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,467 One of you took it when you were going through 504 00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:17,073 Grandma Maria's stuff in her basement after she passed. 505 00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:18,677 And you won't share it with us! 506 00:17:18,743 --> 00:17:20,346 - Liar! - Ugh, now I'm hearing 507 00:17:20,413 --> 00:17:21,783 Gloria's voice in there. 508 00:17:21,883 --> 00:17:24,287 Lorraine, our family doesn't have the recipe. We swear. 509 00:17:24,387 --> 00:17:25,924 It's why we came all the way to your house today. 510 00:17:25,991 --> 00:17:27,528 And to hang with this guy. Am I right? 511 00:17:27,628 --> 00:17:29,632 We just wanted to do it for our mom-- our real mom. 512 00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:32,337 She said that sauce reminds her of her Grandma Claudia, 513 00:17:32,370 --> 00:17:33,740 who she was missing today, 514 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,944 and she said she wished she could taste it again. 515 00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,648 Huh. All these years, Tony's side thought 516 00:17:37,781 --> 00:17:40,721 Joey's side had it, and Joey's side thought Tony's side had it. 517 00:17:40,854 --> 00:17:42,490 And after the totally understandable 518 00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:44,361 - wedding dress incident... - I mean... 519 00:17:44,427 --> 00:17:46,064 ...no one's talking to each other. 520 00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:48,335 And we all think the other side is having Nana Maria's 521 00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:50,239 incredible Bolognese for dinner every night. 522 00:17:50,339 --> 00:17:52,243 But no one was Bolog-nosey enough 523 00:17:52,343 --> 00:17:54,314 to come after the recipe until us. 524 00:17:54,414 --> 00:17:56,986 The rest of Nana's stuff went off on a truck to Goodwill. 525 00:17:57,053 --> 00:17:59,659 Some stranger's making great sauce right now. 526 00:17:59,692 --> 00:18:02,531 - And Tina's making another card. - Damn it. 527 00:18:02,598 --> 00:18:04,802 I really think it came out great. 528 00:18:04,869 --> 00:18:06,673 Y-You know you can put your shirt back on, right? 529 00:18:06,773 --> 00:18:09,277 Uh, I just want to let the tat breathe a little. 530 00:18:09,344 --> 00:18:11,181 - It's still pretty raw. - It's pen, Teddy. 531 00:18:11,248 --> 00:18:13,152 Yeah, but she pressed really hard. 532 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,555 Oh, here we go. 533 00:18:14,622 --> 00:18:17,193 Mom says, "On second thought, I don't think it works." 534 00:18:17,293 --> 00:18:18,563 - Crap. - I guess it's back to 535 00:18:18,663 --> 00:18:20,433 paying to have her tattoo removed. 536 00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,571 I might have to sell my truck, but that's okay. 537 00:18:22,705 --> 00:18:25,309 I can bike my tools and ladders around. Or scooter. 538 00:18:25,409 --> 00:18:27,080 Wait. Teddy, this is crazy. 539 00:18:27,146 --> 00:18:28,583 Your mom loved gin rummy enough 540 00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,787 to get a tattoo of it on her upper, upper thigh. 541 00:18:30,854 --> 00:18:32,891 Well, do you want to know what's cheaper than 542 00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:34,094 getting a tattoo removed? 543 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,664 Your mom calling her card buddies 544 00:18:35,731 --> 00:18:38,202 and telling them she's sorry for being such a rummy crumbum 545 00:18:38,302 --> 00:18:39,672 that they kicked her out of the group. 546 00:18:39,705 --> 00:18:41,475 You think she should try to patch things up 547 00:18:41,576 --> 00:18:43,513 - with the Rum Runners? - Yes, Teddy, I do. 548 00:18:43,613 --> 00:18:45,416 Funny, coming from the lady with the family feud 549 00:18:45,483 --> 00:18:47,020 that's three generations long. 550 00:18:47,086 --> 00:18:49,290 - It's Mother's Day. Shush. - Yup. Sorry. 551 00:18:49,357 --> 00:18:50,794 I'm gonna call her. 552 00:18:50,861 --> 00:18:51,863 Ma?! What?! 553 00:18:51,929 --> 00:18:53,332 - Teddy, you're shouting. - Ma?! 554 00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:54,467 - I can't... - Teddy. 555 00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:55,904 Bob, I'm gonna take this outside. 556 00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:57,173 It's too loud in here. 557 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,210 - Ma?! Ma?! - Ooh, there they are. 558 00:18:59,311 --> 00:19:00,781 - Hey, kids. Ma?! - Hi, Gayle. 559 00:19:00,881 --> 00:19:03,520 Does some lucky mom have a sweet Mother's Day present 560 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:04,755 coming her way? 561 00:19:04,822 --> 00:19:06,959 We wanted to get you something really special, 562 00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:08,395 but we kind of failed. 563 00:19:08,462 --> 00:19:10,199 Turns out we weren't too big to fail. 564 00:19:10,299 --> 00:19:11,636 Wait, what were you kids trying to get me? 565 00:19:11,703 --> 00:19:14,040 Your great-grandmother's Bolognese recipe 566 00:19:14,074 --> 00:19:15,977 that Grandma Claudia used to make for you. 567 00:19:16,011 --> 00:19:19,719 Oh, my God! I'm gonna cry. 568 00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:21,054 That's so sweet. 569 00:19:21,121 --> 00:19:23,727 Oh, snot's coming out. Snot's coming out. 570 00:19:23,793 --> 00:19:25,530 How would you even get that? 571 00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:27,568 Aunt Gayle took us to your cousin Lorraine's house. 572 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,638 - What? - In my car that I know how to drive. 573 00:19:29,739 --> 00:19:31,609 She wouldn't give you the recipe, huh? No. 574 00:19:31,676 --> 00:19:33,345 She couldn't give us the recipe because 575 00:19:33,412 --> 00:19:35,282 she doesn't have the recipe. No one does. 576 00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:36,819 Wait, what? Wh-What do you mean? 577 00:19:36,919 --> 00:19:38,489 Great-Uncle Joey never had it. 578 00:19:38,556 --> 00:19:40,326 They thought our side of the family took it. 579 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:42,998 Wait, so the Joeys aren't recipe stealers? 580 00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,704 - It's just gone? - It's sauced in translation. 581 00:19:45,804 --> 00:19:48,075 And you know what? I'm just gonna say it. 582 00:19:48,142 --> 00:19:49,612 This feud is dumb. 583 00:19:49,678 --> 00:19:51,649 Somebody bought a house, and then somebody forked somebody, 584 00:19:51,716 --> 00:19:54,054 like, forever ago, and everyone should just get over it. 585 00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:57,326 People get forked every day and move on with their lives. 586 00:19:57,393 --> 00:19:58,830 I forked Nico today. 587 00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:01,468 I mean, what-- We're supposed to be the idiot kids. 588 00:20:01,569 --> 00:20:03,138 Why do we have to tell you all this crap? 589 00:20:03,238 --> 00:20:04,642 Yeah, Mom, grow up! Uh, sorry. 590 00:20:04,675 --> 00:20:07,380 Wow. Don't really like that smart-mouth attitude, 591 00:20:07,447 --> 00:20:08,650 but maybe you're right. 592 00:20:08,717 --> 00:20:11,188 Maybe it's time to start putting feuds behind us. 593 00:20:11,288 --> 00:20:12,758 Gin rummy feuds, family feuds... 594 00:20:12,825 --> 00:20:15,931 Yeah, I was kind of the one who pointed that out earlier. 595 00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:18,636 It's Mother's Day! 596 00:20:18,703 --> 00:20:20,607 Well, she wasn't crazy about the apology idea, 597 00:20:20,674 --> 00:20:22,376 but she said maybe she'll hold off 598 00:20:22,443 --> 00:20:23,713 on getting the tattoo removed. 599 00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,550 She told me to just take her someplace nice 600 00:20:25,650 --> 00:20:28,188 for a baked potato and then call it a Mother's Day. 601 00:20:28,255 --> 00:20:29,357 Ooh, baked potato. 602 00:20:29,424 --> 00:20:30,527 Well, we're sorry we couldn't get you 603 00:20:30,594 --> 00:20:31,763 your family's sauce recipe. 604 00:20:31,863 --> 00:20:33,600 But we made you this card on the way home. 605 00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:36,606 It says "Moth-er's Day," and I drew you as a moth. 606 00:20:36,739 --> 00:20:37,541 That'd be a good tattoo. 607 00:20:37,608 --> 00:20:39,545 Aw. You kids are incredible, 608 00:20:39,612 --> 00:20:41,014 and you acted so grown-up today. 609 00:20:41,081 --> 00:20:42,751 Trying to end a bitter family feud. 610 00:20:42,818 --> 00:20:45,456 And I made you that way, so I'm, like, the best mom in the world. 611 00:20:45,557 --> 00:20:47,594 Now come here, my little babies. I love you so much. 612 00:20:47,661 --> 00:20:49,330 Hey, maybe we should have Lorraine and Nico 613 00:20:49,431 --> 00:20:50,567 over for dinner sometime. 614 00:20:50,634 --> 00:20:52,470 - We owe him some chicken. - Okay, fine. 615 00:20:52,538 --> 00:20:54,107 - But then we can prank them. - Yeah. 616 00:20:54,207 --> 00:20:55,443 I'll hide a fork in my sock. 617 00:20:55,510 --> 00:20:57,013 Fork both of them when they're not looking, 618 00:20:57,079 --> 00:20:58,482 - as a fun joke. - Yeah, yeah. 619 00:20:58,516 --> 00:21:00,720 Never cross these women! 620 00:21:00,787 --> 00:21:02,089 ♪ Floppy waffles ♪ 621 00:21:02,156 --> 00:21:03,593 ♪ Floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy ♪ 622 00:21:05,029 --> 00:21:07,500 ♪ Mother's Day in the kitchen ♪ 623 00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:10,372 ♪ Things are getting sloppy ♪ 624 00:21:10,439 --> 00:21:11,909 ♪ Oh, my, check it out ♪ 625 00:21:12,009 --> 00:21:13,646 ♪ It's gonna make you scream and shout ♪ 626 00:21:13,746 --> 00:21:15,149 ♪ Your waffles are pretty floppy ♪ 627 00:21:15,216 --> 00:21:16,451 ♪ Floppy waffles ♪ 628 00:21:16,586 --> 00:21:17,688 ♪ Floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy ♪ 629 00:21:19,491 --> 00:21:20,961 - ♪ Floppy waffles ♪ - ♪ Floppy waffles... ♪ 630 00:21:21,027 --> 00:21:22,631 ♪ Floppy waffles falafels ♪ 631 00:21:22,731 --> 00:21:25,136 ♪ Floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy ♪ 632 00:21:25,202 --> 00:21:27,541 ♪ Floppy waffles, floppy waffles ♪ 633 00:21:27,641 --> 00:21:30,580 ♪ Flippity flop, flop, floppity flop, flop, flop ♪ 634 00:21:30,647 --> 00:21:31,949 ♪ Waffles. ♪ 635 00:21:32,016 --> 00:21:33,720 Huh, fell on the floor. Ah, I'm still eating it. 636 00:21:33,786 --> 00:21:34,788 Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT 637 00:21:34,855 --> 00:21:36,024 and TOYOTA. 49397

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