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1
00:00:21,075 --> 00:00:22,378
I'm whipping you so hard.
2
00:00:22,444 --> 00:00:23,514
Turn into cream!
3
00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:26,119
- Get a room, you two.
- We did get a room, Gene.
4
00:00:26,185 --> 00:00:27,354
It's called the kitchen.
5
00:00:27,421 --> 00:00:29,125
I'm making whipped cream
for your mom
6
00:00:29,191 --> 00:00:30,562
for her Mother's Day waffles,
7
00:00:30,662 --> 00:00:32,464
which you kids are
supposed to be helping me with.
8
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,468
Sorry, Dad.
We have our hands full.
9
00:00:34,603 --> 00:00:35,505
Tina had to make a card,
10
00:00:35,572 --> 00:00:37,208
we had to tell her
to make the card.
11
00:00:37,308 --> 00:00:38,911
- Tina, let's see it.
- Read it and weep.
12
00:00:38,978 --> 00:00:40,515
Or lightly chuckle
because it's pretty funny.
13
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,686
It's a drawing of
a mushroom cloud
14
00:00:42,786 --> 00:00:44,556
and all of us flying through
the air, and it says,
15
00:00:44,623 --> 00:00:46,459
- "You dropped a mom on us"?
- Pretty good, right?
16
00:00:46,527 --> 00:00:49,432
Yeah, but you made this
exact same card two years ago.
17
00:00:49,465 --> 00:00:50,935
Damn it,
I knew it felt familiar.
18
00:00:51,002 --> 00:00:52,806
We got to think of
something else, and quick.
19
00:00:52,872 --> 00:00:54,342
Think of what?
- Uh...
20
00:00:54,408 --> 00:00:55,645
Happy Mother's Day!
21
00:00:55,712 --> 00:00:58,083
- Aw, thanks.
- Ugh. Happy Mother's Day, Lin.
22
00:00:58,183 --> 00:00:59,586
Wow, you're sweaty.
23
00:00:59,653 --> 00:01:00,788
What's in the box?
24
00:01:00,922 --> 00:01:02,157
Is it a tiny little
David Blaine?
25
00:01:02,224 --> 00:01:03,661
Eh, I was thinking
about my mother.
26
00:01:03,728 --> 00:01:05,698
And then I started to think
about my grandmother,
27
00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:08,236
and I wanted to find a picture
of her, and I found this.
28
00:01:08,303 --> 00:01:09,706
A box full of old family stuff.
29
00:01:09,806 --> 00:01:12,579
"Old family stuff."
Those are three exciting words.
30
00:01:12,679 --> 00:01:13,915
I wanted to look through it
31
00:01:13,981 --> 00:01:15,585
while we have
Mother's Day breakfast.
32
00:01:15,652 --> 00:01:18,624
Aw, here she is.
My sweet Grandma Claudia.
33
00:01:18,691 --> 00:01:21,997
Oh, I just loved her so much.
Ooh, family tree.
34
00:01:22,064 --> 00:01:23,567
Let's see what we have here.
35
00:01:23,601 --> 00:01:25,437
- Any celebrities or criminals?
- Portia de Rossi?
36
00:01:25,505 --> 00:01:27,709
Oh, that says "Peter DeRosa."
37
00:01:27,776 --> 00:01:29,513
Still though, pretty cool.
38
00:01:29,579 --> 00:01:31,449
Wait, why is
this whole section crossed out?
39
00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:33,186
Oh, that's because of the feud.
40
00:01:33,253 --> 00:01:35,457
Wha-Wha-What? A feud?
41
00:01:35,525 --> 00:01:37,662
Something interesting happened
in our family?
42
00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:40,802
I think you're forgetting about
Dad's uncle with huge feet.
43
00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:42,471
Oh, yeah, Uncle Frank.
Good swimmer.
44
00:01:42,572 --> 00:01:44,576
Well, it's kind of a long story,
but I'll tell you.
45
00:01:44,676 --> 00:01:46,847
This thing started
way before I was born.
46
00:01:46,914 --> 00:01:48,517
My great-grandma Maria
had four kids,
47
00:01:48,584 --> 00:01:50,153
and they didn't have
a lot of money.
48
00:01:50,220 --> 00:01:51,690
One of them, Tony,
worked down at the docks.
49
00:01:51,757 --> 00:01:53,326
And he was trying
to save up to buy
50
00:01:53,460 --> 00:01:54,963
his dream house
in Staten Island.
51
00:01:55,030 --> 00:01:57,034
I think Billy Joel
wrote a song about that.
52
00:01:57,101 --> 00:01:59,640
But Joey, the baby of
the family, married a rich girl.
53
00:01:59,706 --> 00:02:01,677
I think her father
invented the raincoat.
54
00:02:01,777 --> 00:02:03,013
- Probably not.
- Shush!
55
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:05,484
And then Joey
and his new rich wife
56
00:02:05,551 --> 00:02:08,289
bought Tony's dream house
before Tony could!
57
00:02:08,356 --> 00:02:10,360
- Damn.
- So, is that why someone crossed
58
00:02:10,427 --> 00:02:12,231
all of Joey's family out
on the family tree?
59
00:02:12,297 --> 00:02:13,466
No. There's more.
60
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,070
You see, Joey invited
the family over
61
00:02:15,170 --> 00:02:16,239
to his new house for dinner.
62
00:02:16,339 --> 00:02:18,476
And my great-grandmother Maria
63
00:02:18,577 --> 00:02:20,314
brought over
her famous Bolognese sauce.
64
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:21,850
Say more about the sauce.
65
00:02:21,917 --> 00:02:24,288
- It was delicious, Gene.
- I knew it.
66
00:02:24,355 --> 00:02:25,925
And then it happened.
67
00:02:25,992 --> 00:02:27,662
I didn't say what it was yet.
68
00:02:27,796 --> 00:02:28,998
Sorry, it's just tense.
69
00:02:29,098 --> 00:02:30,535
So, they're eating dinner,
70
00:02:30,635 --> 00:02:32,338
and Joey is
just laughing and laughing
71
00:02:32,404 --> 00:02:33,774
about how great
his new house is.
72
00:02:33,841 --> 00:02:36,145
But as he reaches
for the Parmesan cheese,
73
00:02:36,212 --> 00:02:38,751
Tony goes in with his fork
to get more pasta
74
00:02:38,851 --> 00:02:41,890
and accidentally stabs Joey
in the hand!
75
00:02:41,957 --> 00:02:43,561
Yes! He forked him!
76
00:02:43,661 --> 00:02:45,397
Joey and his sister Paulina
77
00:02:45,497 --> 00:02:47,101
thought Tony forked him
on purpose
78
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,904
because Joey bought
Tony's dream house
79
00:02:48,971 --> 00:02:50,708
with Daniela's
stupid raincoat money.
80
00:02:50,775 --> 00:02:52,946
- It-it couldn't have been raincoat.
- It was.
81
00:02:53,046 --> 00:02:54,783
But Tony swore
that it was an accident,
82
00:02:54,916 --> 00:02:57,589
and his sister Claudia,
my sweet little grandmother,
83
00:02:57,622 --> 00:02:58,624
believed him.
84
00:02:58,691 --> 00:03:00,628
Joey throws Tony
out of the house.
85
00:03:00,695 --> 00:03:03,033
Claudia and her husband Burt,
my grandfather, go with him.
86
00:03:03,133 --> 00:03:05,237
And here's the kicker:
it's pouring rain.
87
00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:06,607
None of them have raincoats.
88
00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:08,009
They all get wet.
89
00:03:08,109 --> 00:03:09,278
From that moment on,
90
00:03:09,378 --> 00:03:11,149
you were either
Team Tony or Team Joey.
91
00:03:11,182 --> 00:03:12,619
So we're on team...?
92
00:03:12,752 --> 00:03:14,088
Tony. All the way.
93
00:03:14,121 --> 00:03:15,658
And Tony's the one who...?
94
00:03:15,725 --> 00:03:17,862
Accidentally forked
that jerk Joey.
95
00:03:17,929 --> 00:03:19,265
You never met any Team Joeys
96
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,002
'cause we stopped talking
to them, 'cause they're dumb.
97
00:03:21,069 --> 00:03:22,539
And you want to know
the worst part?
98
00:03:22,605 --> 00:03:24,141
Then the Great Depression
happened?
99
00:03:24,241 --> 00:03:27,247
No. After my lovely
great-grandmother Maria passed,
100
00:03:27,314 --> 00:03:29,653
dumb Joey, his wife Daniela
and their idiot kid
101
00:03:29,753 --> 00:03:32,424
went over to her house,
went through all her stuff
102
00:03:32,491 --> 00:03:34,361
and stole
the only written-down copy
103
00:03:34,428 --> 00:03:37,000
of Grandma Maria's
famous Bolognese recipe.
104
00:03:37,101 --> 00:03:38,369
They did what?!
105
00:03:38,403 --> 00:03:39,906
My Grandma Claudia knew
how to make it,
106
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,375
and she used to make it for me,
107
00:03:41,442 --> 00:03:42,979
and it was delicious,
but she died,
108
00:03:43,046 --> 00:03:45,551
and so now I can only
taste the sauce in my memories.
109
00:03:45,618 --> 00:03:47,154
- In your mammaries?
- Gene.
110
00:03:47,221 --> 00:03:48,456
So now the only people who know
111
00:03:48,557 --> 00:03:50,127
how to make it
are those cold-hearted,
112
00:03:50,193 --> 00:03:51,730
house-stealing Team Joey people.
113
00:03:51,797 --> 00:03:54,970
Who wants waffles
with homemade whipped cream?
114
00:03:55,036 --> 00:03:57,976
- I do.
- I mean, sort of whipped.
115
00:03:58,042 --> 00:04:00,280
It's really hard to do.
My wrist hurts.
116
00:04:00,347 --> 00:04:01,683
- Anyway, here you go.
- Oh.
117
00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:03,621
Ew. Did you just pour milk
on her waffles?
118
00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:05,123
Damn it.
The kids didn't help at all.
119
00:04:05,190 --> 00:04:07,695
Because we're, uh, doing
our own thing for Mom.
120
00:04:07,796 --> 00:04:09,533
- We're giving it to her later.
- We are?
121
00:04:09,599 --> 00:04:11,570
Yes.
And it's really, really great.
122
00:04:11,603 --> 00:04:13,707
- Wait, did I miss a meeting?
- Ignore Tina.
123
00:04:13,808 --> 00:04:16,580
Why don't we focus on
Dad's wet milk waffles for now.
124
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,216
I'll make you new ones.
125
00:04:18,316 --> 00:04:20,788
- Gene will eat those.
- Yay! Floppy waffles.
126
00:04:20,888 --> 00:04:23,259
Floppy, floppy, floppy, floppy.
127
00:04:23,359 --> 00:04:25,865
So, Teddy, what'd you get
your mom for Mother's Day?
128
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,069
Well, you know how
she's pretty tatted up?
129
00:04:28,169 --> 00:04:29,438
What? No.
130
00:04:29,506 --> 00:04:31,109
Yeah, well, she's got a tattoo
that she hates,
131
00:04:31,175 --> 00:04:34,549
so I booked her an appointment
at a laser tattoo removal place.
132
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:35,450
Okay.
133
00:04:35,551 --> 00:04:36,753
But it's kind of expensive.
134
00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:38,991
- How expensive?
- Well, it's $500 a visit,
135
00:04:39,058 --> 00:04:40,628
and it can take
a bunch of visits.
136
00:04:40,695 --> 00:04:41,964
Which I wasn't totally aware of
137
00:04:42,030 --> 00:04:43,734
when I was signing her up
for the first lasering.
138
00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:45,738
- That's a lot of money.
- I know.
139
00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:47,742
- But she really wants it gone.
- Why?
140
00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:49,746
- What-What's it a tattoo of?
- Uh, I'll show you.
141
00:04:49,813 --> 00:04:52,284
Here, check a look.
It's on her upper, upper thigh.
142
00:04:52,384 --> 00:04:54,221
Oh. Gr-Great.
143
00:04:54,288 --> 00:04:55,758
So, it's a tattoo of
a bunch of playing cards?
144
00:04:55,825 --> 00:04:57,662
It's a gin rummy thing.
She was in a group,
145
00:04:57,762 --> 00:04:59,465
and I guess they all got
the same tattoo.
146
00:04:59,498 --> 00:05:01,469
Aw, gin rummy chummies.
147
00:05:01,503 --> 00:05:02,906
Well, not anymore.
148
00:05:02,972 --> 00:05:05,377
My mom plays with,
let's say, a lot of flare.
149
00:05:05,477 --> 00:05:07,114
And by "flare," I mean rage.
150
00:05:07,214 --> 00:05:08,551
Your mom sounds intense.
151
00:05:08,617 --> 00:05:10,788
- She's passionate, Bob.
- Wait, I have an idea.
152
00:05:10,888 --> 00:05:12,926
Maybe she doesn't
have to remove her tattoo.
153
00:05:13,026 --> 00:05:14,963
Why doesn't she just add
to what's already there?
154
00:05:15,030 --> 00:05:17,669
Make it into something else?
I bet that's cheaper.
155
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,873
- I mean, probably?
- Hey, we should brainstorm.
156
00:05:19,906 --> 00:05:22,912
- Ooh, we can use the chalkboard.
- Oh, uh-- Heh.
157
00:05:22,979 --> 00:05:24,850
That's where I put the Burger
of the Day that I wrote,
158
00:05:24,916 --> 00:05:27,755
carefully, so people know
what it is.
159
00:05:27,822 --> 00:05:28,924
And you erased it.
160
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,928
This is just for a minute.
I'll remember it.
161
00:05:31,028 --> 00:05:33,634
- It was a something-something burger.
- Yup.
162
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,303
So, what are we getting for Mom?
163
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:36,840
A different card from Tina?
164
00:05:36,907 --> 00:05:38,409
Oh, okay. Lot of pressure.
165
00:05:38,511 --> 00:05:40,748
Wait. O-mama bin Lovin'?
166
00:05:40,848 --> 00:05:41,617
That's been done.
167
00:05:41,683 --> 00:05:43,219
No. What we're gonna do is
168
00:05:43,253 --> 00:05:45,658
get that old family sauce recipe
and we're gonna cook it for Mom
169
00:05:45,758 --> 00:05:48,531
and give her the greatest
Mother's Day dinner of all time.
170
00:05:48,631 --> 00:05:50,066
You had me at "sauce."
171
00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:51,469
Where are we gonna get
the recipe?
172
00:05:51,537 --> 00:05:53,473
I found out
where Lorraine lives.
173
00:05:53,541 --> 00:05:55,645
- Who's Lorraine?
- Joey's daughter.
174
00:05:55,711 --> 00:05:57,347
Got it. Who's Joey again?
175
00:05:57,414 --> 00:05:59,251
He's Great-Grandma Claudia's
brother.
176
00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,387
Just look at this.
177
00:06:00,453 --> 00:06:02,190
Mom said Joey took the recipe.
178
00:06:02,291 --> 00:06:04,563
Since he's passed on,
smart money is that
179
00:06:04,629 --> 00:06:06,633
his only daughter, Lorraine,
has it now.
180
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,604
Guess what.
She lives in Bottom Hook,
181
00:06:08,704 --> 00:06:09,806
which is only eight miles away.
182
00:06:09,873 --> 00:06:11,677
Yes. Louise,
this is such a good idea.
183
00:06:11,710 --> 00:06:13,547
- I know.
- Wait, how are we gonna get there?
184
00:06:13,647 --> 00:06:14,583
No clue.
185
00:06:14,649 --> 00:06:15,585
You kids help out
around here, right?
186
00:06:15,651 --> 00:06:17,020
I-I'm just checking because
187
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,693
sometimes it feels like
you don't help out at all.
188
00:06:19,759 --> 00:06:21,730
- We're taking a hiatus.
- Dad, just shush.
189
00:06:21,830 --> 00:06:24,134
We think we found
where the sauce recipe might be.
190
00:06:24,201 --> 00:06:27,274
It's only eight miles away at
Mom's cousin Lorraine's house.
191
00:06:27,341 --> 00:06:28,544
Go get your car keys.
192
00:06:28,611 --> 00:06:30,213
Oh, that's actually
a really sweet idea,
193
00:06:30,313 --> 00:06:31,750
but we can't leave
your mom alone
194
00:06:31,817 --> 00:06:33,721
in the restaurant
on Mother's Day.
195
00:06:33,787 --> 00:06:35,725
- Boo.
- Don't boo me.
196
00:06:35,791 --> 00:06:39,031
Look, maybe you guys can
save this idea for next year.
197
00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:41,035
- Boo.
- Stop booing me.
198
00:06:41,102 --> 00:06:43,006
What if we get another ride?
199
00:06:43,072 --> 00:06:44,208
Do you know someone with a car?
200
00:06:44,308 --> 00:06:45,678
And don't say Ken
because he's not real.
201
00:06:45,745 --> 00:06:47,615
He is real
and he's a very good driver,
202
00:06:47,715 --> 00:06:49,151
but he's getting
his Jeep lowered today.
203
00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:51,990
I think I might know
someone who could take us.
204
00:06:52,057 --> 00:06:54,161
Is it someone we know and trust?
205
00:06:54,228 --> 00:06:55,665
It's someone we know.
206
00:06:55,731 --> 00:06:57,735
So I got my license
un-suspended,
207
00:06:57,802 --> 00:07:00,073
then they said I needed
to take the eye test again,
208
00:07:00,173 --> 00:07:02,545
but I was like, "Nah,
this prescription is fine."
209
00:07:02,612 --> 00:07:03,981
Oh!
210
00:07:04,081 --> 00:07:05,818
Sorry. This road is so curvy.
211
00:07:08,791 --> 00:07:11,295
Ugh, I can't believe
we're actually going
212
00:07:11,395 --> 00:07:13,066
to that punk
Lorraine Parcone's house.
213
00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:15,938
And possibly to a soft serve
drive-through on the way? Eh?
214
00:07:16,038 --> 00:07:17,842
Aunt Gayle, you and Mom
still get pretty frothy
215
00:07:17,909 --> 00:07:20,246
about the whole
forking thing, huh?
216
00:07:20,347 --> 00:07:21,683
It started with the forking.
217
00:07:21,783 --> 00:07:23,721
Then there was the recipe theft,
of course,
218
00:07:23,787 --> 00:07:25,423
but the bad blood's
been passed down
219
00:07:25,524 --> 00:07:26,994
from generation to generation.
220
00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:29,666
You know about the wedding incident?
No.
221
00:07:29,733 --> 00:07:31,670
It was my mother
and father's wedding--
222
00:07:31,737 --> 00:07:33,941
your grandparents--
and my Grandma Claudia
223
00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:37,214
made them invite everyone
to try to make peace.
224
00:07:37,314 --> 00:07:38,717
It was a disaster.
225
00:07:38,784 --> 00:07:40,521
Lorraine Parcone wore white.
226
00:07:40,588 --> 00:07:42,224
I mean, I think it was
a full wedding dress.
227
00:07:42,324 --> 00:07:45,296
- Poor Grandma Gloria.
- Well, she got Lorraine back.
228
00:07:45,397 --> 00:07:46,399
Literally.
229
00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:47,669
She poured punch down her back,
230
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:48,971
and then she punched her
in the back.
231
00:07:49,071 --> 00:07:50,775
I hear it was
a beautiful wedding.
232
00:07:50,841 --> 00:07:51,643
Sounds lovely.
233
00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:53,313
Well, you know me, Aunt Gayle.
234
00:07:53,379 --> 00:07:54,849
I love a good family feud.
235
00:07:54,949 --> 00:07:56,953
But today, the plan is
to put all that aside.
236
00:07:57,054 --> 00:07:59,759
Tomorrow, you can go back
to feuding it up. Okay?
237
00:07:59,826 --> 00:08:01,863
Yeah, do it for Mom.
It's Mother's Day.
238
00:08:01,963 --> 00:08:04,936
I mean, she's not your mother,
but she's a damn good woman.
239
00:08:05,036 --> 00:08:05,938
Ugh, Mother's Day.
240
00:08:06,038 --> 00:08:07,775
You know,
it's actually been proven
241
00:08:07,842 --> 00:08:09,411
that owning
and taking care of cats
242
00:08:09,546 --> 00:08:12,451
is 4,000 times harder than
being a mom to a human.
243
00:08:12,552 --> 00:08:15,190
- Did your cats get you a present?
- Not yet.
244
00:08:15,256 --> 00:08:17,094
Maybe they're just waiting
for the right moment
245
00:08:17,227 --> 00:08:20,601
and tonight you're gonna find
like 50 dead birds in your bed.
246
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,337
Can you imagine?
247
00:08:22,404 --> 00:08:25,978
Okay, you didn't like
the wacky broom idea
248
00:08:26,045 --> 00:08:27,782
- where the cards were the end of the wacky broom.
- Nope.
249
00:08:27,849 --> 00:08:29,519
You didn't like
the giant eyebrow idea
250
00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:32,257
where the cards were
a giant eyebrow over an eye.
251
00:08:32,324 --> 00:08:34,395
- Terrifying.
- But what about this?
252
00:08:34,461 --> 00:08:36,867
I present to you long hair lady.
253
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,371
- That hair is long.
- You like it?
254
00:08:39,438 --> 00:08:41,643
I like it.
I just think it's also bad.
255
00:08:41,743 --> 00:08:43,379
Oh, I got one.
I just thought of one.
256
00:08:43,446 --> 00:08:45,216
All right, hang on.
I'm coming around.
257
00:08:46,620 --> 00:08:48,156
Okay, okay. Grabbing the chalk.
258
00:08:48,256 --> 00:08:51,630
Uh, you could make all the cards
look like an accordion.
259
00:08:51,696 --> 00:08:53,499
So it's like an accordion lady.
260
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,903
A lady who plays the accordion?
261
00:08:55,003 --> 00:08:57,942
No, kind of like
a lady who is an accordion.
262
00:08:57,975 --> 00:08:59,211
- Oh.
- Huh.
263
00:08:59,278 --> 00:09:01,616
Came all the way out here
to do that, huh?
264
00:09:01,683 --> 00:09:03,887
Yeah. Oh, the burger's burning.
265
00:09:03,987 --> 00:09:05,624
I mean, not burning.
It-It's perfect.
266
00:09:05,725 --> 00:09:08,831
I'm just gonna, uh, run back
and see how perfect it is.
267
00:09:09,899 --> 00:09:11,435
Remember, everyone,
268
00:09:11,503 --> 00:09:13,306
no matter how awful
this Lorraine lady is,
269
00:09:13,406 --> 00:09:15,878
we got to stick to the plan:
kill her with kindness.
270
00:09:15,945 --> 00:09:18,149
- I heard "kill."
- No, no, no. Kindness.
271
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,888
Right. But also,
what if we just start, like,
272
00:09:20,955 --> 00:09:23,092
a little tiny fire in her house?
273
00:09:23,159 --> 00:09:24,963
- Aunt Gayle, no.
- Oh, hi.
274
00:09:25,063 --> 00:09:27,434
Uh, we are looking for
a Lorraine Parcone.
275
00:09:27,502 --> 00:09:29,471
Would the Lorraine
of the house be home?
276
00:09:29,606 --> 00:09:31,777
She is not. But I am her son.
277
00:09:31,843 --> 00:09:34,047
I'm Nico.
Uh, who are all of you?
278
00:09:34,081 --> 00:09:35,350
Oh, I'm Louise.
279
00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:37,154
This is my brother Gene
and my sister Tina.
280
00:09:37,287 --> 00:09:40,594
And we're...
your cousins!
281
00:09:40,661 --> 00:09:42,130
Well, third cousins. I think.
282
00:09:42,197 --> 00:09:45,638
- So we're totally fine to marry.
- And we're not enemies at all.
283
00:09:45,671 --> 00:09:47,040
Oh. Okay, great.
284
00:09:47,107 --> 00:09:49,411
And you must be
their mom-slash-also my cousin?
285
00:09:49,512 --> 00:09:51,415
- Happy Mother's Day.
- Oh, right.
286
00:09:51,516 --> 00:09:53,352
I-I am their mother. Yes.
287
00:09:53,419 --> 00:09:54,488
That is what I am.
288
00:09:54,522 --> 00:09:56,526
I'm Linda, the homelier one.
289
00:09:56,626 --> 00:09:58,429
Gayle, my sister,
is a trial lawyer
290
00:09:58,496 --> 00:10:00,534
and a model
for a bikini corporation.
291
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,805
Okay. Well, come on in.
292
00:10:02,905 --> 00:10:04,108
My mom should be back soon.
293
00:10:04,174 --> 00:10:05,811
She went out
to pick up some groceries.
294
00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:07,414
That's a fun
Mother's Day errand.
295
00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:09,451
So, what brings you all
here today?
296
00:10:09,519 --> 00:10:10,821
Such a good question.
297
00:10:10,921 --> 00:10:13,059
We were in the area
and thought we'd drop by
298
00:10:13,159 --> 00:10:15,063
and meet some cousins
and just visit.
299
00:10:15,163 --> 00:10:17,869
- We don't want anything from you!
- So, how are we related exactly?
300
00:10:17,935 --> 00:10:19,772
You're not from
my great-great-uncle Tony's
301
00:10:19,806 --> 00:10:21,408
side of the family, are you?
302
00:10:22,512 --> 00:10:25,016
Is what my mother would ask
if she were here.
303
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,953
But I don't care. I'm just
glad to meet some cousins.
304
00:10:27,087 --> 00:10:29,559
Can I call you "cuz"?
Everybody okay with "cuz"?
305
00:10:29,626 --> 00:10:30,794
Abso-cuz-lutely.
306
00:10:30,861 --> 00:10:32,130
Hey, you don't have
a few minutes
307
00:10:32,230 --> 00:10:34,368
to bust out the photo albums
or, I don't know,
308
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:38,242
old family recipes and just sit
around and get into it, do you?
309
00:10:38,309 --> 00:10:41,115
Well, the paint's got to dry
on my Buckaroo Banzai figurine.
310
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,119
Buckaroo Banzai?
Buckaroo Banzai? No?
311
00:10:43,186 --> 00:10:44,889
Uh, I'll tell you about it.
Let's go.
312
00:10:44,989 --> 00:10:46,626
You guys, this is gonna be
313
00:10:46,726 --> 00:10:49,164
easier than I thought,
but we have to get the recipe
314
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:50,233
before Lorraine gets home.
315
00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:52,270
Aunt Gayle, why did you say
you were our mom?
316
00:10:52,337 --> 00:10:53,807
I don't know. It just came out.
317
00:10:53,874 --> 00:10:56,145
But hold my hand and call me Mom
and let me give you advice.
318
00:10:56,245 --> 00:10:57,949
You should part your hair
in the middle.
319
00:10:58,015 --> 00:11:00,486
- No, I don't want to do that.
- You're grounded.
320
00:11:00,554 --> 00:11:02,057
Okay, here we go.
321
00:11:02,123 --> 00:11:04,629
It's a lady with long hair
driving a race car.
322
00:11:04,696 --> 00:11:06,098
Looks like she's in a bathtub.
323
00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:08,637
- Does your mom like race cars?
- Everyone likes race cars.
324
00:11:08,704 --> 00:11:11,643
Everyone likes baths.
It could just be a bathtub.
325
00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:13,346
Or she could have
no tattoo there,
326
00:11:13,412 --> 00:11:14,782
which was my original present!
327
00:11:14,849 --> 00:11:16,452
Hey, speaking of
Mother's Day presents,
328
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:17,955
the kids have been gone
for a while.
329
00:11:18,022 --> 00:11:19,324
Are you really not gonna tell me
330
00:11:19,391 --> 00:11:21,730
where Gayle took them
to get my gift? Come on!
331
00:11:21,863 --> 00:11:24,201
I'm not gonna tell you.
It's a surprise.
332
00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:25,403
Is it Vermont?
333
00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:26,706
- What?
- Did they drive up to Vermont
334
00:11:26,806 --> 00:11:27,942
to get me a blanket?
335
00:11:28,042 --> 00:11:29,646
I bet Vermont
has great blankets.
336
00:11:29,779 --> 00:11:31,015
That-- No.
337
00:11:31,048 --> 00:11:33,152
I can tell you
that they're not doing that.
338
00:11:33,219 --> 00:11:35,123
Now I know it's not a blanket.
Good job, Bob.
339
00:11:35,189 --> 00:11:37,494
Okay, I went with
the bathtub thing.
340
00:11:37,595 --> 00:11:38,496
I gave her a bar of soap.
341
00:11:38,630 --> 00:11:39,933
Why does the bathtub
have wheels?
342
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,536
'Cause it was a race car!
343
00:11:41,636 --> 00:11:43,039
And here's
my grandpa Joey again.
344
00:11:43,139 --> 00:11:44,642
This is when he started
sitting a lot.
345
00:11:44,742 --> 00:11:45,911
Wow. I love these pictures.
346
00:11:46,011 --> 00:11:47,480
But do you know
what I also love?
347
00:11:47,548 --> 00:11:50,019
Written stuff:
letters, laundry lists,
348
00:11:50,119 --> 00:11:51,890
lists of ingredients
or something.
349
00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:53,794
Ooh, there's another album.
I know where it is.
350
00:11:53,894 --> 00:11:55,063
I think there are
a couple of pictures
351
00:11:55,163 --> 00:11:56,633
of Grandpa Joey standing
in that one.
352
00:11:56,700 --> 00:11:58,369
We got to find that recipe
and get out of here.
353
00:11:58,436 --> 00:12:00,841
I'm gonna move that stool over
and check on top of the fridge.
354
00:12:00,941 --> 00:12:02,177
I see some cookbooks.
355
00:12:02,244 --> 00:12:04,047
Tina, help me.
Gayle, what are you doing?
356
00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:05,818
I'm gonna scratch
Joey's eyes out.
357
00:12:05,918 --> 00:12:08,657
- Nope, nope.
- Don't talk to your mother that way.
358
00:12:08,724 --> 00:12:11,529
Ooh, recipe box. Recipe box.
359
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:12,965
Flipping through.
360
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,169
- Wait. Lasagna.
- We're not looking for lasagna.
361
00:12:15,236 --> 00:12:17,909
- Maybe it's looking for us.
- He's coming back.
362
00:12:17,942 --> 00:12:19,378
- Give it to me.
- No, no, no.
363
00:12:19,478 --> 00:12:21,415
Well, look at that. I can
move this stool.
364
00:12:21,549 --> 00:12:23,687
- Oh, hey, cuz.
- Look what I got.
365
00:12:23,754 --> 00:12:25,356
- Ooh, I think Mom's home.
- Oh, no.
366
00:12:25,423 --> 00:12:28,029
- Do I look like I've been trying to find a job?
- So much.
367
00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:30,935
Nico, who's in my spot?
Ugly little car.
368
00:12:31,035 --> 00:12:32,571
Crap, crap, crap. What do we do?
369
00:12:32,638 --> 00:12:34,274
Ah. Who are you people?
370
00:12:34,341 --> 00:12:37,314
Run! I mean, hey, you.
371
00:12:40,854 --> 00:12:42,692
- Wait, who are they?
- They're our cousins.
372
00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:45,531
Yeah, Gene, Tina and me, Louise.
373
00:12:45,597 --> 00:12:48,202
And Linda.
We were just headed out.
374
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:50,975
Yup, we're taking our mom
to get washed.
375
00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:52,712
- A brunch and wash.
- I'm filthy.
376
00:12:52,812 --> 00:12:54,849
Nico, you have been
nothing but delightful.
377
00:12:54,949 --> 00:12:56,886
Lorraine,
incredible to meet you.
378
00:12:56,987 --> 00:12:58,857
- Are we hugging? I can't tell.
- Wait.
379
00:12:58,957 --> 00:13:00,460
Did you say your name was Linda?
380
00:13:00,527 --> 00:13:03,065
Yes. And these are
my three beautiful children
381
00:13:03,132 --> 00:13:04,902
that I home-birthed
while watching TV
382
00:13:04,969 --> 00:13:07,975
because birth isn't as hard as
people are always saying it is.
383
00:13:08,075 --> 00:13:10,748
So you're Gloria's daughter?
384
00:13:10,848 --> 00:13:12,518
I am. And that's really true.
385
00:13:12,618 --> 00:13:15,524
Nico, do you realize
what you've done?
386
00:13:15,624 --> 00:13:16,425
Uh, no.
387
00:13:16,526 --> 00:13:19,031
You've let the foxes
into the henhouse.
388
00:13:19,097 --> 00:13:20,534
You've invited
the blood of Tonys
389
00:13:20,601 --> 00:13:23,306
- into this house of the blood of Joeys!
- Ah!
390
00:13:23,372 --> 00:13:26,445
So, we know there's
some history in our family,
391
00:13:26,513 --> 00:13:28,149
but we swear, we come in peace.
392
00:13:28,215 --> 00:13:31,021
The same way
Tony came to dinner in peace
393
00:13:31,121 --> 00:13:34,161
all those years ago
and forked my grandfather?
394
00:13:34,261 --> 00:13:36,866
The same way your Grandma Gloria
came in peace
395
00:13:36,933 --> 00:13:38,570
when she poured punch
down my back
396
00:13:38,670 --> 00:13:40,607
at her wedding
and then punched me?
397
00:13:40,674 --> 00:13:42,778
Well, we should go
move that ugly car.
398
00:13:42,845 --> 00:13:44,448
You're not leaving.
Why'd you come here?
399
00:13:44,515 --> 00:13:46,853
- What did you do?
- Here's the thing.
400
00:13:46,886 --> 00:13:48,322
We actually came here to say
401
00:13:48,389 --> 00:13:51,362
- we think your side is right.
- What?
402
00:13:51,495 --> 00:13:52,765
- What? Ow.
- Yeah.
403
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,034
That's why we're really here.
404
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,938
To tell you
that our side of the family
405
00:13:56,005 --> 00:13:58,610
is dumb and stabby and bad.
406
00:13:58,643 --> 00:13:59,679
- Really?
- Okay.
407
00:13:59,746 --> 00:14:00,781
Really. Right, guys?
408
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,150
It's not easy being a Tony.
409
00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:04,154
Oh, man, yeah.
"Be a Tony," they said.
410
00:14:04,221 --> 00:14:06,191
"It'll be easy," they said.
411
00:14:06,258 --> 00:14:07,360
Well, it's not!
412
00:14:07,427 --> 00:14:09,231
Yeah, it's the worst. Ugh!
413
00:14:09,297 --> 00:14:12,838
Even our, uh, mom agrees.
Right, Mommy?
414
00:14:12,938 --> 00:14:14,141
Yes, I do.
415
00:14:14,207 --> 00:14:16,178
Well, you're right.
They're the worst.
416
00:14:16,245 --> 00:14:19,151
But I guess it's not your fault
you come from garbage.
417
00:14:20,286 --> 00:14:22,123
Hey, I got a rotisserie chicken
for Nico.
418
00:14:22,190 --> 00:14:23,927
Uh, he eats so many chickens.
419
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,396
And I have Sprite.
You like Sprite?
420
00:14:25,496 --> 00:14:27,902
You want to stay for some Sprite
and some chicken? Huh?
421
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,371
Oh, we should really get going.
422
00:14:29,471 --> 00:14:32,243
- It's Sprite and chicken time, baby!
- Gene.
423
00:14:32,343 --> 00:14:34,247
Mom, do we really have
to give them my chicken?
424
00:14:34,347 --> 00:14:36,485
Yes, Nico!
You're sharing your chicken.
425
00:14:36,519 --> 00:14:38,422
Oh, that's Mom.
426
00:14:38,489 --> 00:14:41,095
She said she's sorry
it took so long to respond.
427
00:14:41,195 --> 00:14:42,397
She was at an estate sale
428
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,267
and she got
some really good Rollerblades.
429
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:46,405
Oh! She likes
the long hair bathtub lady.
430
00:14:46,472 --> 00:14:48,309
Okay. With the wheels?
431
00:14:48,342 --> 00:14:51,248
Wait. She said she needs
to "see it on skin."
432
00:14:51,315 --> 00:14:53,687
Mom, just draw it
right on your thigh.
433
00:14:53,787 --> 00:14:56,325
She says she can't. She's rollerblading.
434
00:14:56,358 --> 00:14:57,360
Ooh, Teddy.
435
00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:59,197
We draw it on your thigh
and send a picture.
436
00:14:59,264 --> 00:15:01,669
My thighs are just a tiny bit
hairier than my mom's.
437
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:05,476
Okay. So we do it on your back
and pretend it's a thigh?
438
00:15:05,544 --> 00:15:07,948
- Eh, I-I-I don't know.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
439
00:15:08,015 --> 00:15:10,086
- Take your shirt off.
- Okay.
440
00:15:10,186 --> 00:15:11,689
H-He'll-He'll put
his shirt back on soon.
441
00:15:11,756 --> 00:15:12,357
Enjoy your burger.
442
00:15:12,424 --> 00:15:14,529
Sorry it's not home-cooked.
443
00:15:14,595 --> 00:15:17,100
And it's not that warm
and the soda's not cold.
444
00:15:17,233 --> 00:15:19,137
I'll never eat chicken
any other way.
445
00:15:19,237 --> 00:15:20,974
I can't believe you gave them
the drumsticks.
446
00:15:21,041 --> 00:15:23,078
Hush! Guests get the drumsticks!
447
00:15:23,145 --> 00:15:24,414
Well, that was delicious.
448
00:15:24,448 --> 00:15:25,884
Got to save some room
for brunch, though.
449
00:15:26,018 --> 00:15:27,153
Right, everybody?
450
00:15:27,220 --> 00:15:29,157
Yes, let's leave.
I'll take my fanny pack.
451
00:15:29,224 --> 00:15:31,028
- I'll take my chicken.
- Okay, bye.
452
00:15:31,128 --> 00:15:32,598
No, no. Don't go yet.
453
00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:34,234
We're having such a nice visit,
454
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:37,006
and you were gonna say bad stuff
about your grandparents.
455
00:15:37,073 --> 00:15:38,342
Sit, sit, sit.
456
00:15:38,409 --> 00:15:39,612
- Okay.
- Sure.
457
00:15:39,745 --> 00:15:41,014
Can someone please pass
the chicken?
458
00:15:41,081 --> 00:15:43,085
So, Grandma Gloria. Yuck, right?
459
00:15:43,152 --> 00:15:44,387
- Oh, yuck. Yeah.
- Ugh. The worst.
460
00:15:44,488 --> 00:15:46,258
Right, Mom?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
461
00:15:46,358 --> 00:15:48,496
Yeah, I didn't have another
dress to wear to her wedding,
462
00:15:48,563 --> 00:15:52,003
so I wore my wedding dress,
and somehow I'm the bad guy?
463
00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:53,105
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
464
00:15:53,172 --> 00:15:54,441
Linda, have some chicken.
465
00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:56,445
- I don't want chicken.
- I'll have some chicken.
466
00:15:56,513 --> 00:15:59,317
Ah! And that voice.
Everyone on that side.
467
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,623
Linda, you are lucky
you didn't get it.
468
00:16:01,689 --> 00:16:03,058
- Mm-hmm.
- Have some chicken.
469
00:16:03,192 --> 00:16:05,363
- I'd like the chicken.
- Ah, those people make me sick.
470
00:16:05,463 --> 00:16:06,900
Linda, seriously,
have some chicken.
471
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,104
- You don't like chicken?
- Fine, I'll get it myself.
472
00:16:09,171 --> 00:16:10,707
All right,
I'll have some chicken!
473
00:16:10,774 --> 00:16:11,609
Ow!
474
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:14,047
Did you just stab
my sweet baby boy Nico?
475
00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:15,149
It was an accident.
476
00:16:15,216 --> 00:16:16,519
I just wanted some chicken.
477
00:16:16,586 --> 00:16:18,389
- Okay, gosh, look at the time.
- Bye-bye.
478
00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:20,828
Oh, I dropped my fork that I
didn't stab you on purpose with.
479
00:16:20,928 --> 00:16:22,363
I'll pick it up.
480
00:16:23,465 --> 00:16:25,069
Oh, no.
Uh-oh.
Oh, God.
481
00:16:25,102 --> 00:16:26,606
Wait! Is that my recipe box?
482
00:16:26,706 --> 00:16:29,812
- You stole my recipes?
- You can't prove anything.
483
00:16:29,912 --> 00:16:32,050
Well, this has
just been delightful.
484
00:16:35,557 --> 00:16:37,528
Of course you Tonys
come in our home,
485
00:16:37,628 --> 00:16:41,435
fork my boy
and try to steal my recipes.
486
00:16:41,536 --> 00:16:42,505
They ate my drumsticks.
487
00:16:42,571 --> 00:16:45,209
Okay, yes, we did
all of those things.
488
00:16:45,309 --> 00:16:48,115
No matter how much
we told someone to be cool.
489
00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:49,451
It was an accident, sort of.
490
00:16:49,552 --> 00:16:51,355
But, listen,
we wanted to give our mom
491
00:16:51,388 --> 00:16:52,858
something special
for Mother's Day.
492
00:16:52,958 --> 00:16:54,595
- The brunch and wash?
- No, the recipe
493
00:16:54,729 --> 00:16:57,535
for her great-grandma Maria's
Bolognese sauce.
494
00:16:57,635 --> 00:16:59,004
And that's the whole truth.
495
00:16:59,104 --> 00:17:00,741
- Well, she's also not our mom.
- Right. Good point.
496
00:17:00,841 --> 00:17:02,912
I'm Linda's
brilliant sister Gayle.
497
00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:04,247
So now that's the whole truth.
498
00:17:04,347 --> 00:17:05,984
Also, I haven't brushed my teeth
in four weeks.
499
00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:07,287
There, that's it!
500
00:17:07,353 --> 00:17:09,057
Why would you think
I would have that recipe?
501
00:17:09,124 --> 00:17:11,161
Because you're no-good Joeys?
502
00:17:11,228 --> 00:17:12,631
We don't have it. The Tonys do.
503
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,467
One of you took it
when you were going through
504
00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:17,073
Grandma Maria's stuff in
her basement after she passed.
505
00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:18,677
And you won't share it with us!
506
00:17:18,743 --> 00:17:20,346
- Liar!
- Ugh, now I'm hearing
507
00:17:20,413 --> 00:17:21,783
Gloria's voice in there.
508
00:17:21,883 --> 00:17:24,287
Lorraine, our family doesn't
have the recipe. We swear.
509
00:17:24,387 --> 00:17:25,924
It's why we came all the way
to your house today.
510
00:17:25,991 --> 00:17:27,528
And to hang with this guy.
Am I right?
511
00:17:27,628 --> 00:17:29,632
We just wanted to do it
for our mom-- our real mom.
512
00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:32,337
She said that sauce reminds her
of her Grandma Claudia,
513
00:17:32,370 --> 00:17:33,740
who she was missing today,
514
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,944
and she said she wished
she could taste it again.
515
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,648
Huh. All these years,
Tony's side thought
516
00:17:37,781 --> 00:17:40,721
Joey's side had it, and Joey's
side thought Tony's side had it.
517
00:17:40,854 --> 00:17:42,490
And after
the totally understandable
518
00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:44,361
- wedding dress incident...
- I mean...
519
00:17:44,427 --> 00:17:46,064
...no one's talking
to each other.
520
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:48,335
And we all think the other side
is having Nana Maria's
521
00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:50,239
incredible Bolognese
for dinner every night.
522
00:17:50,339 --> 00:17:52,243
But no one was
Bolog-nosey enough
523
00:17:52,343 --> 00:17:54,314
to come after the recipe
until us.
524
00:17:54,414 --> 00:17:56,986
The rest of Nana's stuff
went off on a truck to Goodwill.
525
00:17:57,053 --> 00:17:59,659
Some stranger's making
great sauce right now.
526
00:17:59,692 --> 00:18:02,531
- And Tina's making another card.
- Damn it.
527
00:18:02,598 --> 00:18:04,802
I really think
it came out great.
528
00:18:04,869 --> 00:18:06,673
Y-You know you can
put your shirt back on, right?
529
00:18:06,773 --> 00:18:09,277
Uh, I just want to let
the tat breathe a little.
530
00:18:09,344 --> 00:18:11,181
- It's still pretty raw.
- It's pen, Teddy.
531
00:18:11,248 --> 00:18:13,152
Yeah, but she pressed
really hard.
532
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,555
Oh, here we go.
533
00:18:14,622 --> 00:18:17,193
Mom says, "On second thought,
I don't think it works."
534
00:18:17,293 --> 00:18:18,563
- Crap.
- I guess it's back to
535
00:18:18,663 --> 00:18:20,433
paying to have
her tattoo removed.
536
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,571
I might have to sell my truck,
but that's okay.
537
00:18:22,705 --> 00:18:25,309
I can bike my tools
and ladders around. Or scooter.
538
00:18:25,409 --> 00:18:27,080
Wait. Teddy, this is crazy.
539
00:18:27,146 --> 00:18:28,583
Your mom loved gin rummy enough
540
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,787
to get a tattoo of it
on her upper, upper thigh.
541
00:18:30,854 --> 00:18:32,891
Well, do you want to know
what's cheaper than
542
00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:34,094
getting a tattoo removed?
543
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,664
Your mom calling
her card buddies
544
00:18:35,731 --> 00:18:38,202
and telling them she's sorry
for being such a rummy crumbum
545
00:18:38,302 --> 00:18:39,672
that they kicked her
out of the group.
546
00:18:39,705 --> 00:18:41,475
You think she should try
to patch things up
547
00:18:41,576 --> 00:18:43,513
- with the Rum Runners?
- Yes, Teddy, I do.
548
00:18:43,613 --> 00:18:45,416
Funny, coming from the lady
with the family feud
549
00:18:45,483 --> 00:18:47,020
that's three generations long.
550
00:18:47,086 --> 00:18:49,290
- It's Mother's Day. Shush.
- Yup. Sorry.
551
00:18:49,357 --> 00:18:50,794
I'm gonna call her.
552
00:18:50,861 --> 00:18:51,863
Ma?! What?!
553
00:18:51,929 --> 00:18:53,332
- Teddy, you're shouting.
- Ma?!
554
00:18:53,399 --> 00:18:54,467
- I can't...
- Teddy.
555
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:55,904
Bob, I'm gonna
take this outside.
556
00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:57,173
It's too loud in here.
557
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,210
- Ma?! Ma?!
- Ooh, there they are.
558
00:18:59,311 --> 00:19:00,781
- Hey, kids. Ma?!
- Hi, Gayle.
559
00:19:00,881 --> 00:19:03,520
Does some lucky mom have
a sweet Mother's Day present
560
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:04,755
coming her way?
561
00:19:04,822 --> 00:19:06,959
We wanted to get you something
really special,
562
00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:08,395
but we kind of failed.
563
00:19:08,462 --> 00:19:10,199
Turns out
we weren't too big to fail.
564
00:19:10,299 --> 00:19:11,636
Wait, what were you kids
trying to get me?
565
00:19:11,703 --> 00:19:14,040
Your great-grandmother's
Bolognese recipe
566
00:19:14,074 --> 00:19:15,977
that Grandma Claudia
used to make for you.
567
00:19:16,011 --> 00:19:19,719
Oh, my God! I'm gonna cry.
568
00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:21,054
That's so sweet.
569
00:19:21,121 --> 00:19:23,727
Oh, snot's coming out.
Snot's coming out.
570
00:19:23,793 --> 00:19:25,530
How would you even get that?
571
00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:27,568
Aunt Gayle took us
to your cousin Lorraine's house.
572
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,638
- What?
- In my car that I know how to drive.
573
00:19:29,739 --> 00:19:31,609
She wouldn't give you the recipe, huh?
No.
574
00:19:31,676 --> 00:19:33,345
She couldn't give us
the recipe because
575
00:19:33,412 --> 00:19:35,282
she doesn't have the recipe.
No one does.
576
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:36,819
Wait, what? Wh-What do you mean?
577
00:19:36,919 --> 00:19:38,489
Great-Uncle Joey never had it.
578
00:19:38,556 --> 00:19:40,326
They thought our side
of the family took it.
579
00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:42,998
Wait, so the Joeys
aren't recipe stealers?
580
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:45,704
- It's just gone?
- It's sauced in translation.
581
00:19:45,804 --> 00:19:48,075
And you know what?
I'm just gonna say it.
582
00:19:48,142 --> 00:19:49,612
This feud is dumb.
583
00:19:49,678 --> 00:19:51,649
Somebody bought a house, and
then somebody forked somebody,
584
00:19:51,716 --> 00:19:54,054
like, forever ago, and everyone
should just get over it.
585
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:57,326
People get forked every day
and move on with their lives.
586
00:19:57,393 --> 00:19:58,830
I forked Nico today.
587
00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:01,468
I mean, what-- We're supposed
to be the idiot kids.
588
00:20:01,569 --> 00:20:03,138
Why do we have to tell you
all this crap?
589
00:20:03,238 --> 00:20:04,642
Yeah, Mom, grow up! Uh, sorry.
590
00:20:04,675 --> 00:20:07,380
Wow. Don't really like
that smart-mouth attitude,
591
00:20:07,447 --> 00:20:08,650
but maybe you're right.
592
00:20:08,717 --> 00:20:11,188
Maybe it's time to start
putting feuds behind us.
593
00:20:11,288 --> 00:20:12,758
Gin rummy feuds, family feuds...
594
00:20:12,825 --> 00:20:15,931
Yeah, I was kind of the one
who pointed that out earlier.
595
00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:18,636
It's Mother's Day!
596
00:20:18,703 --> 00:20:20,607
Well, she wasn't crazy about
the apology idea,
597
00:20:20,674 --> 00:20:22,376
but she said
maybe she'll hold off
598
00:20:22,443 --> 00:20:23,713
on getting the tattoo removed.
599
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,550
She told me to just
take her someplace nice
600
00:20:25,650 --> 00:20:28,188
for a baked potato
and then call it a Mother's Day.
601
00:20:28,255 --> 00:20:29,357
Ooh, baked potato.
602
00:20:29,424 --> 00:20:30,527
Well, we're sorry
we couldn't get you
603
00:20:30,594 --> 00:20:31,763
your family's sauce recipe.
604
00:20:31,863 --> 00:20:33,600
But we made you this card
on the way home.
605
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:36,606
It says "Moth-er's Day,"
and I drew you as a moth.
606
00:20:36,739 --> 00:20:37,541
That'd be a good tattoo.
607
00:20:37,608 --> 00:20:39,545
Aw. You kids are incredible,
608
00:20:39,612 --> 00:20:41,014
and you acted so grown-up today.
609
00:20:41,081 --> 00:20:42,751
Trying to end
a bitter family feud.
610
00:20:42,818 --> 00:20:45,456
And I made you that way, so I'm,
like, the best mom in the world.
611
00:20:45,557 --> 00:20:47,594
Now come here, my little babies.
I love you so much.
612
00:20:47,661 --> 00:20:49,330
Hey, maybe we should have
Lorraine and Nico
613
00:20:49,431 --> 00:20:50,567
over for dinner sometime.
614
00:20:50,634 --> 00:20:52,470
- We owe him some chicken.
- Okay, fine.
615
00:20:52,538 --> 00:20:54,107
- But then we can prank them.
- Yeah.
616
00:20:54,207 --> 00:20:55,443
I'll hide a fork in my sock.
617
00:20:55,510 --> 00:20:57,013
Fork both of them
when they're not looking,
618
00:20:57,079 --> 00:20:58,482
- as a fun joke.
- Yeah, yeah.
619
00:20:58,516 --> 00:21:00,720
Never cross these women!
620
00:21:00,787 --> 00:21:02,089
♪ Floppy waffles ♪
621
00:21:02,156 --> 00:21:03,593
♪ Floppy, floppy,
floppy, floppy ♪
622
00:21:05,029 --> 00:21:07,500
♪ Mother's Day in the kitchen ♪
623
00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:10,372
♪ Things are getting sloppy ♪
624
00:21:10,439 --> 00:21:11,909
♪ Oh, my, check it out ♪
625
00:21:12,009 --> 00:21:13,646
♪ It's gonna make you
scream and shout ♪
626
00:21:13,746 --> 00:21:15,149
♪ Your waffles are
pretty floppy ♪
627
00:21:15,216 --> 00:21:16,451
♪ Floppy waffles ♪
628
00:21:16,586 --> 00:21:17,688
♪ Floppy, floppy,
floppy, floppy ♪
629
00:21:19,491 --> 00:21:20,961
- ♪ Floppy waffles ♪
- ♪ Floppy waffles... ♪
630
00:21:21,027 --> 00:21:22,631
♪ Floppy waffles falafels ♪
631
00:21:22,731 --> 00:21:25,136
♪ Floppy, floppy, floppy,
floppy, floppy, floppy ♪
632
00:21:25,202 --> 00:21:27,541
♪ Floppy waffles,
floppy waffles ♪
633
00:21:27,641 --> 00:21:30,580
♪ Flippity flop, flop,
floppity flop, flop, flop ♪
634
00:21:30,647 --> 00:21:31,949
♪ Waffles. ♪
635
00:21:32,016 --> 00:21:33,720
Huh, fell on the floor.
Ah, I'm still eating it.
636
00:21:33,786 --> 00:21:34,788
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
637
00:21:34,855 --> 00:21:36,024
and TOYOTA.
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