Original subtitles

WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

1 So, did you ask mom?

Yeah, I asked her.

I worked double shifts at the shelter

and swapped some days around

so I could get time off,

and I have my paper written for class

a week ahead of time, and it's really good,

and my ticket is standby,

so it'll hardly cost anything.

So... Can I?

Your mother and I talked it over, and, well,

we don't know any reason why you shouldn't

come home for a weekend if that's what you want.

Really? I can come?

Of course you can come.

But you will be going back on Sunday, right?

Yeah, I guess so.

So, may I speak to Robbie?

Yeah. I'll get him. It's Mary.

- Is she coming? - Yeah.

She wants to talk to Robbie.

Congratulations. You're about to reap

what you have sown.

Hi, Mary.

Dad's going to get Robbie.

Right.

Oh, Mary, we can't wait to see you.

I can't wait, either.

He's doing really great, huh?

Robbie?

Yeah, of course, Robbie.

Yeah, he's doing just fine.

And you all like him now, right?

Yes, we like him.

- Who's on the phone? - It's Mary.

She's coming home this weekend.

Is that a good idea?

- Hi. - Hi. Uh, where's Robbie?

I don't know, um, but ruthie's here.

It's Mary. She's coming home for the weekend.

Is that a good idea?

Hi. It's ruthie.

Hi, ruthie. Uh, where's Robbie?

Hi, Mary.

Hey, guess what?

My parents are letting me fly in for the weekend.

Mary's coming home?

Is that a good idea?

It wasn't my idea. It was her idea.

She is still part of the family.

Hey, I can't wait to see ya.

Well, you'll see me tomorrow night.

♪ I'm gonna see Robbie ♪

♪ I'm gonna see Robbie, Whoo! ♪

♪ I'm gonna see Robbie ♪

♪ 7th heaven ♪

♪ When I see their happy faces smilin' back at me ♪

♪ 7th heaven ♪

♪ I know there's no greater feelin' ♪

♪ Than the love of a family ♪

♪ Where can you go ♪

♪ When the world don't treat you right? ♪

♪ The answer is home ♪

♪ That's the one place that you'll find ♪

♪ 7th heaven ♪

♪ Mmm, 7th heaven ♪

♪ 7th heaven ♪

Hello! I'm home!

Hello!

Hello, hello, hello, I'm home!

Oh!

Oh! How was your flight?

It was perfect.

No one sat in the seat next to me,

so I got an extra bag of peanuts.

Where's Robbie?

Oh, he called. He's running late.

One of the kids at the day-care center

had a problem with a soccer match.

And Lucy?

Uh, well, she's gonna

take care of the other kids

until their parents pick them up

while Robbie takes the kid with the problem

to get some help.

Matt?

- He's working. - Yeah.

Simon?

He's here.

Well, I don't see him.

Well, he's not dressed.

He's trying to figure out what to wear tonight.

A bunch of the kids are going over to Sasha's house.

Now, Sasha's a senior,

so it's a very big deal to get invited.

Is it a bigger deal than my coming home?

You'll have to meet Sasha,

and then you can draw your own conclusion.

Well, where's ruthie?

Does she know I'm home?

Annie: Oh, yeah, I told her. She's upstairs.

She's probably working on her homework.

You know how much she loves that new school.

Ok, well, I guess I'll, um, just take

my stuff upstairs and get settled in,

not that anyone cares.

- Oh, we care. - Oh, we care.

Oh, baby. Mare.

It's great to see you.

That's an awfully big bag for a weekend.

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.

This visit is making me very, very anxious.

Me, too, but I think we have to look at this

as a chance to examine whether or not we did the right thing.

Right thing when we sent Mary away

or when you let Robbie move in?

Let's go with both.

Hmm.

You don't think that in the excitement

of seeing each other again,

that they might try...

You know, I mean, they wouldn't do anything...

Stupid?

- He wouldn't dare. - Would she?

Hey, Mary, how's it goin'?

How's it goin'?

I'm gone for 3 months, and I get a "how's it goin'?"

Nice.

Hiya, kid.

Just a sec.

I wanna finish this paragraph.

Looks like you moved in.

Practically. I've been up here for months, you know.

Yeah, I know.

You're not planning on staying, are you?

You're not, are you?

I love it up here.

So, how'd the game go?

Robbie's team won, but georgy has his face

pushed into the grass one too many times,

and the kid's allergic to grass.

He's allergic to everything.

Hello.

Oh! Mary, hi.

How's it going?

How's it going?

Citrus? You can be allergic to citrus?

As far as I know, you can be allergic

to practically anything.

Hello! I'm home!

The kid's mom said he'd be fine.

She should come to the games once in a while.

He's really good.

I love kids, but I'm not crazy about parents.

You're crazy about my parents.

Yeah, but that's different.

Why, because they're Mary's parents?

Just so you know, I'm really nervous

about her coming home.

Well, you shouldn't be if you're not planning

on doing anything wrong.

That's not why I'm nervous.

I'm not planning on doing anything,

especially anything that wouldn't meet

with the family's approval.

We'll see. I have to get back to work.

Hey, what's going on?

Nothing.

Did you lose something?

I might have misplaced a couple of bucks.

Maybe it fell out of my pocket.

Well, I didn't see any money in the laundry.

Would you like me to check?

No, no, no, don't check.

It's ok.

Ok.

Well, if you just need a couple of bucks

so you can go out tonight,

I can lend you some money until you find yours.

We're not going anywhere.

We're just hanging out at Sasha's, watching movies.

And it's just a couple of bucks.

So, you don't really need any money

so you can go out and hang out

with a bunch of kids and watch movies.

You'd just like to find

the aforementioned couple of bucks?

Yes.

Ok.

He's dating Sasha.

No, he's not dating Sasha.

We told him he couldn't date.

He could go out in a group.

He can be friends with Sasha.

Friends. That's it.

Well, maybe we should have said

he couldn't be friends with her.

That's it.

That wouldn't be nice.

Well, it might not be nice.

It would be safe.

I think you're placing your lack of trust

with the wrong party here.

The wrong party being Mary or Robbie?

I'm going to have to go

with Mary being the wrong party.

The world is upside down.

No, just our world.

Hey, how's it goin'?

Whoa. What was that?

How's it goin'?

How's it going?!

What is this?

Isn't anyone happy to see me?

Of course I'm happy to see you.

Then how about showing it?

Ok.

That is "happy to see you."

And that is what I came home for.

Did Mary come through here?

About 2 seconds ago.

What's up?

I was hoping this weekend was about

Mary visiting her family, not Mary visiting me.

I had nothing to do with her leaving in the first place,

and I don't want to be her motivation for coming home.

Have you told Mary any of this?

I never got a chance.

Well, go tell her.

But what do I do

if she, you know, kisses me again?

Oh, didn't we all know this was gonna happen?

Nothing is gonna happen.

I was just saying...

It's just that when she kisses me...

Never mind.

What are you doing?

Is this yours?

Please, is this yours? Let this be yours.

No, it's not mine. Why?

Why did you want this to be mine?

Well, I didn't want it to be yours exactly,

but I didn't want it to belong

to who I think it could belong to.

Where'd you find it?

In the dirty clothes hamper.

Did you look inside for identification?

I mean, not that we don't know who this belongs to.

I'm gunna kill him.

I didn't want to go snooping

through someone's wallet.

You already snooped through someone's wallet.

But by accident.

There's nothing but the photo of the wallet family

and a couple bucks.

Look, I know it's his.

I don't need to see the I.D.

It's Robbie's, and I'm gonna kill him.

Are you sure?

Who else could it belong to?

Simon?

So it's Robbie's.

Is it any of our business?

Yes, it's our business. Mary's home.

I knew we couldn't trust this guy.

But he seems trustworthy.

Seems? Seems trustworthy?

That's how he seduced Mary in the first place...

By appearing to be trustworthy.

Now he's seduced the whole family.

Well, not me.

I knew the guy was up to no good

the day he moved in.

He thinks he's so slick

with his little homeless routine...

The hard-working prodigal son

come home to the camdens to be good. Ha!

Well, we've got him now, haven't we? Hmm?

Am I driving you?

No. Sasha's picking me up.

Oh. I just thought if Sasha

was having a lot of people over,

she might not want to leave the house.

Why not?

I'm sure her parents can answer the door.

He's got you there.

Maybe you ought to take the boys upstairs

and give me a chance to talk to Simon

before Sasha comes.

You're gonna go upstairs, ok?

All right. Bye.

You're never gonna get away with

whatever you're trying to get away with.

Are you trying to get away with something?

No, I'm not.

If I didn't want you to know where I was going,

I'd just make something up.

Something like what?

A lie?

I'd just say that...

I was going to see a movie with some friends.

That wouldn't be a lie.

And if I asked you what movie?

I'd say the sixth sense.

And I'd say the sixth sense isn't playing anywhere.

So you're watching at someone's house?

And I'd say of course we're watching it

at someone's house.

And I'd ask whose house?

And I'd say the Simpsons' house.

Is that Sasha's last name? Simpson?

Yeah. -If I hadn't asked you anything,

you'd be leaving out a lot.

So... You'd be lying.

Yes, I would be,

but I'm not.

I'm capable of lying, but I don't lie.

Honest. I'm not doing anything wrong.

And yet I just have this feeling...

It's just a gut feeling... that...

You might be.

Shouldn't you be focusing your gut feelings

on someone else in the house right now?

Hi.

So, let's go.

Well, just a second.

Uh, what movie are you gonna be watching?

Oh, there's, like, a hundred movies at my house to choose from.

My dad's a movie nut.

But since Simon wants to see the sixth sense,

that's probably what we'll watch.

Are you picking up the other kids?

Simon's the only one that doesn't have his license yet.

I remember how it was before I got my license.

My parents had to drive me everywhere,

real bummer.

Yeah, it can really make you feel

like a taxi driver.

Oh. I meant for the kid.

It's terrible having to be driven everywhere.

Right.

So, good night.

So, do you need us to pick you up?

After all, Sasha was nice enough

to drive all the way over here once.

I'd hate for her to have to drive over here twice,

especially if it's late.

Oh, it won't be late, and I don't mind.

I enjoy every minute I get to spend with Simon.

Good night.

So do you live a long way away?

Dad.

No, we live in that big house at the end of dorman drive.

You know, the one that stayed on the market forever?

- Oh, yeah. - Yeah. It had to have

so much work done, no one else wanted it,

but my parents just fell in love with it.

So, did they fix it up themselves?

Your dad is so cute.

Ok, good night.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's a date.

Do you know where Robbie is?

He's upstairs talking to Mary.

Mary's room, talking to her?

Is that a good idea?

I sent him up there.

Weren't you the one who said

we just have to look at this visit

as a test to see if you've done the right thing?

We've done. We...

We've done the right thing.

Don't you want some of the credit?

I trust him.

I trust him, too.

Both: I don't trust her.

Again, the world is upside down.

It's not mine.

Well, it's not mine,

and I'm pretty sure it's not my dad's,

and I'm pretty sure it's yours.

There is another guy in the house.

It's not Simon's.

He's 15. What would Simon be doing

with something like this?

What any guy's doing with something like that.

He's having safe sex,

or he's prepared to have safe sex.

I know Simon a little better than you do,

and it's ridiculous to think

that Simon might be...

Well, it's ridiculous.

Maybe that's the problem. You're too close to him,

so it just seems ridiculous.

You know what I think?

I think this is a diversion.

Yeah, I sprang that wallet on you.

Now you're trying to get me to talk about anything

other than the fact that your being here

has just been some sort of plot

to get my sister back to that motel

where you can have your way with her.

Have my way with her?

No wonder Simon doesn't talk to you about women.

You sound like you just stepped out of an old movie.

And now once again, you attempt to sidetrack

the conversation I want to have

with a conversation you want to have about old movies.

May I see your wallet, please?

The one you claim you haven't lost?

The one that would prove this is not your wallet?

Guilty as charged.

I'm not guilty,

and you're mental.

This is crazy.

I'm not stupid enough to try

something with Mary a second time.

I'm a completely different man since that happened.

I don't think so.

How can you not think so

after spending this much time with me?

Because you're very slick.

You confuse people. Like right now,

I don't know if this is really your wallet,

Simon's wallet, or if it's even a wallet,

all I know is I don't trust you.

Fine...

Then tell me what you want me to do here

so that you can start trusting me.

Well, I'm never gonna trust you.

But...

But if I were gonna trust you,

you'd have to remain in plain sight

whenever you're with my sister.

How am I gonna do that?

Why don't you and Mary stay home

and play a board game?

A nice family-friendly board game.

Include a couple of other people,

and when Simon gets home,

we'll find out whether or not

you're telling the truth about this wallet

and what's inside this wallet,

if indeed it's a wallet.

You'd rather believe that it's not a wallet

than it's Simon's wallet?

Yeah.

Fine, but a board game?

Yes.

Hey, you can't get in trouble with a board game.

Ok, I'll ask Mary, but I don't think

she's gonna want to play a board game.

I think she's gonna want to spend time alone with me.

- She already said so. - How do you do it?

How do you always make it about someone else?

Ok, ok, I'll ask her.

Don't ask her.

You tell her.

Are you looking for me?

No, I'm not looking at you.

I said for me. Are you looking for me?

Did you want to ask me something?

We're gonna stay home tonight

and play a board game.

Was that Matt's lame idea?

No, we're not staying home and playing board games.

I'll be ready in 10 minutes.

It's a great place you have here.

Yeah. I couldn't believe it

when my parents bought this house

and told me the guesthouse was all mine.

So, when's everyone else coming over?

No one else is coming over.

I just didn't think your parents would approve

of our spending the evening alone together.

We've talked about being alone enough.

I figured it was time to do something about it.

Oh yeah..

Well we have benn doing a lot of talking.

A lot of talking.

So, it's pretty much just the two of us?

Yep. Just the two of us.

And your parents don't mind if I'm here, do they?

No. They totally trust me.

Oh. Well, that's good.

Yeah.

Do you want some music?

A-aren't we gonna watch a movie?

Maybe later.

Can I get a glass of water?

I'm a little thirsty.

You can have anything you want.

You're Simon, Simon Camden.

Where did ruthie go?

She went back downstairs.

Why do I get the feeling

that she is not exactly happy to see me?

Oh, you know how it is

when you've been away for a long time

and you come home.

No. How is it?

You just have to give us

a little reentry time to adjust.

You had 18 years with me here

and 3 months with me not here.

How much time do you guys think you need to adjust?

Well, what you said was true,

but for most of the time, Robbie wasn't here.

In fact, he was never here

except to pick you up or bring you home,

but now he's here, and you're here.

You didn't just think things

were gonna be the same, did you?

No, I actually thought things were gonna be better.

I thought everyone would be happy to have me here,

especially Robbie,

and I'm not even sure

if Robbie is happy to have me home.

We're all happy to have you here.

And Robbie's definitely the happiest

and the most prepared.

Ok, you are all over the place.

Spit it out, because I'm in a hurry.

To do what? -To go out with Robbie.

Where you going? -Anywhere outside of the house

where we can be alone.

Alone, whose idea was that?

It was my idea.

You sure it was your idea?

Yes. I wanna talk to Robbie alone, and I have a plan.

A plan huh?

I always love your wacky plans. Let's hear it.

Well, I'm going to let Robbie hear it,

and then you can all hear it.

Does it involve... Sex?

What?

Does your plan involve s-sex?

With?

Robbie.

Why would you say that?

I found his wallet,

and there was something in it.

Oh. No, no, no, no.

If he has something in his wallet,

then it's just something

that he has in his wallet,

and it's not because I am home.

It is not for me.

Although...

If he were thinking about, well...

I can't say I'd be upset.

What?! Last year, you punched him for thinking about...

Well...

Yeah, I did.

And this year?

And this year, I might consider it helpful.

I-it might be helpful if he was

thinking of me in that way.

I mean, I was only thinking of kissing him,

and I would never do anything more than that,

but I'm just saying...

You're just saying what?

You plan to seduce him into your wacky plan?

We've talked enough.

You know how difficult it is

when you've been away a long time.

What are you doing?

Oh, I thought if we found Simon's money,

we could take it to him.

You know, in case he needs it.

No, we can't.

As much as we'd like to, we can't.

Can't what?

Uh, you haven't found some money, have you?

Was the money in a wallet?

I don't know. Simon said he lost some money.

I guess it could've been in a wallet.

Why? Did you find a wallet?

Yeah, but I'm not sure it's Simon's.

Is this Simon's?

It could be Simon's.

Yeah, but is it Simon's?

Well, it must be. Although,

why wouldn't he have said he lost a wallet

if his money was in a wallet?

We're off. We're going down to the promenade.

What happened to the board game?

We're not playing board games. Good night.

So, it's the promenade. That's nice.

Have a good time.

Good night.

Why don't I just take this over to Sasha's

and see if it is Simon's?

Why would you do that?

It's just a bunch of people watching a film, right?

Well...

Do you two know something that I don't know?

No.

Look, I don't even know whose wallet it is, ok?

I was just trying to be helpful, that's all.

Simon lost his wallet.

I wanna know what's going on.

Obviously, we're gonna have

to find out for ourselves.

But it wasn't my wallet.

You don't have to lie.

I'm not lying. I'm not guilty.

Did you have that in your wallet

because you thought that something

might happen between the two of us

or because you still had it in your wallet

because you went out with Cheryl for Valentine's?

This has nothing to with Cheryl.

It has nothing to do with you, either.

I'm not guilty of anything, so stop accusing me.

Fine. I'm not gonna force the issue

if you don't want to talk about it.

It's not my issue, because I'm not guilty of anything.

It's Simon's wallet.

Right.

Sasha is a lot older than Simon.

She's experienced, and she's selfish.

She's also beautiful,

and she makes Simon feel like a cool guy.

So what is so outrageous

about Simon being responsible and prepared?

He's 15! Just 15.

A lot of 15-year-old kids are having sex.

Not Simon...

And I don't care how seductive Sasha may be,

she is not gonna completely change.

Simon's sense of right and wrong in one night.

It can happen in one moment.

No, it can't.

Anything is possible.

Well, I'm happy you feel that way,

because I want to talk to you

about another possibility.

I have a plan.

Can the plan wait? Because I think

we should go find Simon right now

and talk to him before anything happens.

Nothing is gonna happen.

I hope not, because he lost his wallet.

Ok.

Tell me your plan first,

and then we'll go find Simon,

because that's my plan... To find Simon.

Remember when you wanted to get married

and I thought it was too soon

and I needed to find out who I am

and what I want out of life?

Yeah.

So, what do you think Simon is doing?

I'm sure Simon and Sasha

and all the other boys and girls

are having a very nice time

watching the movie together.

She came over to get him all by herself.

Simon told us

that they were watching the movie

with a group of people,

and I am going to believe him

until I find out otherwise.

How are you gonna find out otherwise?

I thought dad went to get ice cream.

He did.

He was going straight there and coming straight back.

He should be here any second.

Sorry. Traffic.

Traffic?

What? There was traffic.

You think there wasn't traffic?

I think you were spying.

That's ridiculous.

You spied on me, and you spied on Mary before.

Why can't you spy on Simon?

Don't you think that's kind of a double standard?

No, I think it's a lesson well-learned.

What lesson? I was doing

just what you thought I'd be doing, making out.

No, you were doing what I thought Mary would be doing,

which surprised me, at least the first time.

I think we'd all be surprised

if Simon is not making out.

- I wouldn't. - I'll help you

in the kitchen with the ice cream.

No, no. I've got plastic spoons and...

Yes, that would be lovely.

Yes.

So, did you go by there?

By where?

Well, by Sasha's.

Why would I go by Sasha's?

Because it's on the way to get ice cream

if you choose to go that way.

What do you know that I don't know?

Look, we both know that he's not watching a movie

with a bunch of people.

And how do we know that?

What don't we both know,

and what do you know that I don't know,

and what's the deal with the wallet?

Lucy found it in the hamper.

So?

So?

I think we should pick up Simon.

You did go by there.

Well, it was on the way,

and it looked like no one was home.

Wait. Where is what was in the wallet?

I took it out of the wallet.

Well, Simon had already left for his date anyway,

and maybe we're just jumping to conclusions.

Maybe it's Robbie's wallet.

Well, did you ask Robbie if it's his wallet?

Yes. Well, he says it's not,

but he's Robbie.

He's carrying around his money in a rubber band,

you know, so maybe he just doesn't want to admit it,

especially since Mary's home,

but it could be Robbie's wallet.

Did you swing by the promenade?

Well, the dairy shack is at the promenade.

I had to swing by the promenade.

The promenade was a legitimate stop.

And?

And nowhere in sight. Of course,

they could've been at the movies

or the bookstore or having a pizza or something.

Lucy says Mary's got some wacky plan.

Better not involve what was in that wallet.

They gave me the wrong order. I'll go back.

All: I'll go with you.

Uh, you're not going out again for ice cream

without taking all of us.

Why don't we all go?

Why not? The family that spies together, stays together.

Oh, all right. Let's go with them!

Aah!

You're not mad, are you?

If you don't want to come to buffalo,

you don't want to come to buffalo.

You really come up with some wacky plans.

You know that, don't you?

What is so crazy about your moving to buffalo?

Buffalo is a great city,

and there's lots of good schools there

that you could go to... With me.

And the director of the homeless shelter

thought it was a great idea

to get a sports program funded for the children,

and he got the money almost immediately.

They just need a guy to run the program,

a guy like you...

And you'd be doing just what you're doing here,

only we could see each other there,

and we could get to know each other again.

It's a little cold for me in buffalo.

So, the weather's a challenge.

It builds character.

I'd rather build character

while living in your parents' house.

Fine, but just so you know,

I'm not coming back here.

Well, not permanently, anyway.

I like living in buffalo.

Never? You're never moving back here?

Why do you say that?

I got a new start when I moved.

People don't know all the stupid things that I did here.

They like me.

They think I'm responsible, and they trust me.

You can't imagine how good that feels

to have people trust me again.

Yes. Yes, I can.

That's why I can't do anything

to jeopardize my relationship with your family.

I can't take off and go to buffalo.

They trust me now, but they wouldn't trust me then.

I can't do it. I just can't.

If we could just get our lives on track together,

then maybe one day, we could get married

and have a family of our own.

Maybe and maybe not.

Isn't that what you want?

I do. I want that.

I'm still in love with you,

and if we try, I think we can make it.

We can have just what my mom and dad have...

The kind of marriage that lasts a lifetime.

I'm happy everything's working out for you.

I really am...

And I care for you. I really do,

but I can't be responsible for your life,

for our lives together

until I can be responsible for myself.

And I'm not there yet.

But you're getting there.

I didn't have what you had growing up.

I didn't have someone setting boundaries

a-and showing me what is clearly right

and what is clearly wrong.

You think I just learned that from TV

or something, but I didn't.

My parents did the best they could for who they are,

but who they are is 2 people

who are no more capable of creating a functional family

than their parents were.

I mean, my mom always wanted to be my best friend.

I didn't need a best friend. I needed a mother.

And my father, heh heh!

He was never around, but when he was,

he was a real jerk.

Well, you and I are not your parents.

And we're not your parents, either...

And while you may have a shot

at having the kind of relationship your parents have,

I'm not so sure I do.

It takes more than wanting. It takes doing,

and I've got a lot to do.

Well, what have you got to do? I'll help you.

I gotta go find Simon.

Can you help me with that?

Do you think Mary and Robbie will ever get married?

- I do. - Honestly, no, I don't.

- Why not? - Because I think

they're very young, and they've got a lot to do

before they settle down.

Robbie wants to get a college degree,

maybe even a master's, you know,

and he's been talking about

volunteering to teach in an inner-city program, and...

And Mary?

Well, she's enjoying the class she's taking,

and maybe this'll get her interested

in choosing some field of study,

and then she'll go to college,

and who knows?

What if she doesn't want to do nothing

but follow Robbie around?

Anything.

It sounds more pathetic

when you say the double negative, don't it?

Oh, stop that.

This is it.

So, you insist that busting in on Simon's date

is the right thing to do?

I'll give you all the facts when we get home.

Oh. Well, just for the record, I'm against it,

no matter what the facts are.

- You'll change your mind. - No, I won't.

You might.

You know why we're here?

You all know why we're here?

Everybody knows but me?

I don't, and Sam and David don't.

Of course, they sleep through most of life,

so they don't know much anyway.

Does it have something to do with sex?

Does it?

Drive! Drive!

With me! Drive with me!

Hey, wasn't that...

Why don't you take the ice cream home?

I'll catch up with those two.

Simon!

Matt!

Dad!

What's going on?

What's goin' on?

Were you spying on me?

Was the whole family spying on me?

Wait for me!

Is this your wallet?

Yeah, it's my wallet.

And just...

Where did you get a condom?

I'd rather not say.

Me. I gave it to him.

It's not his fault. I asked him.

No, it's my fault. I gave it to you.

I should've talked to your dad first.

Then why on earth didn't you?

Because if he asked for it, I figured he needed it,

and so whether he should or shouldn't be having sex...

And obviously you shouldn't...

I just didn't want anything bad to happen.

I'm sorry. I was wrong.

Simon, haven't we always talked about sex?

In the abstract.

But that's why we talk about it in the abstract...

So that one day, when it becomes personal,

you'll feel free to keep on talking about it.

I... i knew what you'd say.

I knew you'd say I was too young.

Well, you are too young.

Dad, being too young

has nothing to do with this.

How's that?

The opportunity was there.

Too young or not, it made me feel like a man

just to have that opportunity.

I mean, that's what men do. Men have sex.

Well, men say no to sex

when they have the opportunity

and it's not the right thing to do.

Dad, I know that. I said no.

Well, thank you for being responsible.

When I got there,

no one else was there,

and Sasha had plans

other than watching a movie with a bunch of people.

I told her I didn't want to lie.

I told her I didn't want to say one thing

and then do another,

and she respected that.

So we made some phone calls, and I made it right.

I also appreciate that.

I just don't understand

why you couldn't have trusted me.

I'm the one who didn't trust you.

Actually, I didn't trust you, either.

I'm... I'm sorry.

Forget it. I'm the one who didn't trust me.

Look, face it. No one trusted you.

I know your intentions were good,

but there are some things

that should be left up to the parents.

I realize that,

so thank you for not yelling at me

or kicking me out or something.

I'm trying. I really am.

I honestly don't always know the right thing to do,

as stupid as that may sound.

In those cases,

it's ok to ask someone who you trust

to know what's right or wrong.

Is there something else?

What's going on with Mary?

Oh, she had this wacky plan.

So, why didn't you ask me?

Because he raised you.

Right.

I was so sure it was Robbie's.

I feel so bad for not trusting him.

I'll be out of your way in no time.

I'm just getting a drink of water.

And, um, by the way, it was Robbie's.

At least, in a way.

Simon asked him for it, and he gave it to him.

See ya.

No, stay. What were you saying?

Simon thought that Sasha might want to have sex,

so he wanted it just in case.

- What? - That's what Robbie said,

and he was afraid not to give it to him.

Ok, that's gonna be a long walk home,

and I'm gonna want to have a long talk

with Simon when he gets home.

No, come on. Stay.

Talk to us.

Yeah. Tell us what happened with you and Robbie.

Nothing happened.

You want to know anything else?

What's goin' on?

Nothing.

I just... i feel a little on the outside.

Well, we feel a little on the outside, too.

It's strange knowing you have this life

that none of us knows anything about.

We want to know all about it,

but we don't want to ask too much,

because we don't want you to think

that we don't trust you.

But you... You don't trust me.

No.

We're still recuperating from the last year. Sorry.

We want to trust you. We do.

What do you want to know?

We want to know why you came home

all of a sudden to talk to Robbie.

I saw it as a window of opportunity.

I figured he saw Cheryl last week for Valentine's

and it didn't go well,

so I thought I'd make my pitch.

Oh, um, your plan.

My wacky plan.

What was it?

I wanted Robbie to move to buffalo.

I wanted him to change his life

because I don't want to change my life,

but I want to be with him...

And to tell you the truth,

I would've just called,

but I thought if he were to see me

and if the two of us were to kiss,

and if he was...

Seduced?

Yeah, but... but not with sex. Just...

Sex, promises of sex, things leading up to sex...

All these things are very powerful.

Well, I was gonna try and just be nice,

but I didn't think that that would be enough

to convince him to move across country.

Are you kidding?

No.

Don't you think whether you're pretending

to be nice to get your way

or trying to be sexy to get your way,

neither is the right thing to do?

Of course, just being nice is safer than sex, but...

Why would you want to do either of those things?

You see it all around.

Women being so darn appealing

that men just can't control themselves.

I mean, what does that say about men and women?

It says that women can't be honest enough

to say what they want.

It says women can't be smart enough

to get what they want

without trickery and deceit.

It says that men have uncontrollable animal instincts

and that they're stupid.

You see how bad that is for everybody?

But I know he seriously likes kissing me.

That's fine. As long as it's just kissing, that's fine,

but it's not fine to use the fact

that he likes kissing you

to coerce him into doing something he doesn't want to do.

I think my point is he does want to do.

We all want to do...

But we all know when it's right

and when it's not right to have sex.

Yeah.

And we've got another caller on the line.

Who's this?

I'd rather not say.

All right, mystery lady, what can we do for you?

You can remind everyone that it's never too early

to talk to your children about sex.

After all, you don't want them picking up information

on the streets or from a houseguest or on TV.

You want the information

to come straight from you, the parents, right?