Original subtitles

[electrical crackling]

[humming]

[upbeat rhythmic music plays]

[engine roars]

[tires squeal]

[rhythmic music plays]

Look what we found!

A box of spy gum!

Ah. I never heard of these ones.

Super-stretch melon, red-hot cinna-splosion…

Oh! What do you think bouncy blueberry does?

Only one way to find out.

Really hope it doesn't explode.

Hey, toss me some!

I need to refill my… utility satchel?

[Frostee] Hm.

-[Tony chuckles] -[grunts]

-[exclaiming] -Everyone, hit the deck!

[grunting]

We need to stop that berry before it takes out an eye!

-Or gets stuck in someone's hair! -[clanging]

I got an idea!

[dramatic music plays]

[exclaims]

-[grunts] -[gum patters]

Great. First Rafaela takes over my car, now the bubblegum does.

What did I just walk in on?

[door closes]

Well…

Stop. I don't care.

We've got a grade-A, level five, code red emergency on our hands.

Oh no… Did you eat too much unpasteurized cheese?

I'm not talking about cheese!

I'm talking about the truck full of experimental weaponry

we've been chasing all over Europe!

[groans] Am I the only one concerned about that?!

What? No. We're totally concerned. [yelps]

Well, I'm glad you're all having fun failing at your mission!

Interesting you call it a mission.

I call it cleaning up your mess.

Then it's a good thing you're here, because messes are your forte!

[laughs]

Oh yeah!

You need some ointment for that sick burn?

Who's feeling me?

[pattering]

What is that sound?

No! Don't open it!

[exclaims]

[suspenseful music plays]

[exclaiming]

[grunts, gulps]

Oh no.

-[Layla] Gary, are you okay? -I guess I'll find out in seven years.

Look, if we don't want to become more of a laughing stock than we already are,

we need to stop playing with our food, and start coming up with some answers!

Who's behind the heist?

Where are they taking the weapons, and what do they want?

Oh, I know exactly what they want.

You do?

Yeah. They want to mess with us.

Trust me, I've been messed with for the last nine years of my life

by my little sister, Sissy.

[laughing] I think this is a little different.

Is it?

All the telltale signs are there.

First we're lured in close, and given a false sense of security.

Before we know it, we're stuck outside a bot-con in full foam and vinyl cosplay

because our tickets are fake and the Velcro was laced with adhesives.

What did Sissy do to you?

-[tense music plays] -She messed with me.

It's not the same. We've been chasing down our own leads.

You sure about that?

Whoever we're chasing probably knew we had access to satellites feeds,

and they must have guessed that

we would search for the radioactivity from the weapons.

They want us to think we're coming up with our own leads.

[Frostee] Exactly!

It's so similar to what Sissy does

that I could almost see her being behind it if she wasn't in LA.

-Bro, Sissy's not in LA, she's in Europe. -What?

Yeah. I catch up with your moms, like, once a week.

They fill me in on all the good Los Gatos gossip.

Did you know that Christine from Kung-pao Nachos is operating an illegal snail farm?

Snail farm? To eat?

No, she just really likes snails.

Cisco! What about Sissy?!

[laughing] Oh right, yeah.

Uh, so your moms won some contest,

and now your whole family is on an all-expense-paid trip through Europe. Huh?

Also, you should call your moms more often.

-What are you doing? -[typing]

Checking on a hunch.

[Frostee] Huh… Ah! Here it is.

It appears they won a contest put on by a sausage company.

Wait, you said "appears," but they did win.

Did they?

I thought so?

I'm confused.

-Uh… Ah. -[computer chimes]

Just as I thought.

There's malware in the contest's program!

My moms didn't win the trip fair and square. They didn't have to!

-Sissy won it for 'em. -What are you saying?

I'm saying, the person who's messing with us is Sissy!

Oh, come on!

It fits!

She's a mad-scientist-level genius who can hack into anything.

She knows about the supercomputer in my Yoka head so she has access,

and she's always wanted to join the team,

but we've denied her, so she's got motive.

Also, isn't she in love with Tony?

Aha! A woman scorned!

Huh?

That's ridiculous, okay?

A nine-year-old girl did not steal from the agency!

Besides, Sissy's family.

Treachery can come from anywhere, Toretto, most likely from those closest to you.

Oh, so now you're on my side?

I'm fluid.

Check the itinerary. Let's pop in and say hi to your family.

[lively music plays]

Ooh, I am going to get Frostee so good!

He's going to think it'sOfenschlupfer, but then, ha! In your face!

Sissy, you need to go easy on Frostee.

If you keep messing with each other, one of you will get hurt.

Yeah. Him.

Didn't our guide say there was a sausage stand around here?

He said a lot of things.

Uh… Tiffany?

No!

[Tiffany exclaims] Knackwurst! Bratwurst! Blutwurst!

Bregenwurst! Teewurst! Gelbwurst!

[both gasp]

-Leberkäse! -Leberkäse!

-Did you bring that extra suitcase? -Better.

Moms, come on! We have a schedule to keep here!

Baby girl, I love you,

but you better step away before I throw you in some lederhosen!

Are you ready to go?

Of course I am, because I understand the importance of keeping a schedule,

and it really annoys me when I go out of my way to be on time,

but then I'm forced to wait

because less disciplined people do whatever they want whenever they want!

Uh… okay.

[groaning]

[grunting]

[breathless] All right, we got the sausages.

Now let's make like a brötchen and roll.

-[laughs] Because a brötchen is a roll! -[chuckles]

[Sissy] Finally.

[engine starts]

[crackling]

[suspenseful music plays]

There it is, a few miles ahead. We're closing in.

[Frostee] Four people are inside.

Get to your cars and be ready for anything.

Did you know that Germany has a population of 81 million people?

Oh, and look at this.

One of its longest words is "Betäubungsmittelver."

What's that mean?

-[beeping] -[Sissy] Is something wrong?

I really hope not.

That would make Mrs. Pepperpants very cross.

[hissing]

Hey, what's that?

An air freshener.

[Sissy] Ew, is that sandalwood?

[takes deep breath]

[snoring]

-[ominous music plays] -[whirring]

[fast-paced music plays]

[grunting]

Oh, man! My seat's all messed up from Rafaela!

Where the heck is her lumbar located?!

[music intensifies]

It's one of those dudes in one of those crazy suits!

Frostee, you were right!

Wait, is that Sissy? She got a lot taller!

Of course it's not Sissy. She's the boss!

Bosses don't climb out of SUVs to do battle.

[Tony]Good point.

So, what's the play here?

We take 'em in, nice and easy.

[fast-paced music continues]

[whirring]

What just happened?!

That dude disappeared. I think we scared him!

I think we were set up.

What?

[tires squealing]

Who's driving that thing?!

Three people are inside, and two appear to be asleep.

We were set up, and my family's in that runaway SUV!

We need to stop it now!

[fast-paced music continues]

[beeping]

Who's firing on us?

I don't know, but we gotta do something to stop it from wrecking out!

[dramatic music plays]

What's going on?!

[tense music plays]

[Frostee]Moms? Sissy? Are you there?

Wake up! Sissy! Anybody?

Frostee, is that your annoying voice?

Sissy! Oh, thank goodness. The SUV you're in is out of control!

Hold on, is this some kind of elaborate practical joke?

Are you trying to teach me a lesson?

No, this is not a joke, this is life or death!

Also, what kind of lesson would we be teaching you?!

I don't know. You guys are the one that thought this up.

[Frostee]We didn't think it up!

That's what you would say if you did.

[dramatic music plays]

[tires squeal]

Now what do we do?! It's drifting toward oncoming traffic!

I got an idea!

[dramatic music plays]

Nice shooting, Gum Neck!

Wait, was that a real laser?

[Frostee]Yes!

[tablet chimes]

-[beeping] -[whirring]

[dramatic music plays]

This screen says, "Auto Armed."

This isn't a joke! I'm in the middle of an actual spy mission!

Is she cheering?

Ugh. She's always wanted to be a spy.

So, what's the mission? Who are we after? Do I need to punch someone?!

[Ms. Nowhere]No!

The car you're in is out of control.

So, I'm the victim? And Tony's trying to save me?

Aw…

Though I'm not the type who needs saving! Still, it's nice to have the attention.

Listen, you need to stop the SUV.

Hit the brakes! Grab the wheel! Do something!

You're really not a good teacher.

[suspenseful music plays]

[tablet beeps]

It looks like the steering system's being overridden.

The brakes are out and the car is being programmed to speed up!

So intense.

[dramatic music plays]

We need to disable those weapons! We can't get close!

-I'll try to hack in! -[bleeping]

-[alarm ringing] -Oh, no. Look at this!

Team, we got another problem. There's a bend in the road ahead.

[Gary]If we don't get ahold of that SUV…

Sissy, send me your access point. I might be able to help.

Wait, I think I see something.

I can't override the lasers, but they're currently programmed at off-set intervals,

and I may be able to synch them.

I have no idea what you're saying!

She's saying she might be able to stop those lasers for ten seconds.

-Do it! -[hip-hop plays]

I got it! Here it is! We got ten seconds starting… now!

Team, move in!

-Locked on. -Me too!

-[whooping, cheering] -Alright, Sissy! Yeah!

Yeah, you did it! Sissy, I'm so proud of you!

Thanks. I guess I'm just a…

♪ Spy racer, driving dangerously Saving the world for you and me ♪

-You're doing the song wrong. -Yeah, I'm making it better.

Worse!

You're worse!

[tense music plays]

They can't get us!

But we can get them.

-[alarm sounds] -[Gary] Oh no, not again.

More sharp turns ahead!

[groans] We need to get Sissy and my moms out of that car!

Tony, keep those guns trained on you. Everyone else, hold that car steady!

And what are you doing?

-I'm going in. -[stirring music plays]

Can I borrow your purse?

[dramatic music plays]

[grunts]

No way.

[grunting]

You ready to get our moms out of here?

I'm ready for any mission!

Aw!

[Frostee] She looks so peaceful when she's sleeping!

That's pretty much the only time she's peaceful.

[dramatic music plays]

[groaning]

All aboard!

Get the door.

[grunting]

[grunts, snores]

-[mutters] -[dramatic music continues]

Your turn!

-[banging] -[squealing]

[groaning]

Hurry up! We can't hold this thing much longer!

[music intensifies]

[exclaims, grunts] This way!

[dramatic music plays]

We have to jump.

You scared?

Are you kidding me? This is the greatest moment of my life!

Well, hopefully it's not the last moment!

Jump!

[yelling, grunting]

I got 'em!

[dramatic music plays]

Whoa.

Everyone regroup in the hauler.

-Copy that. -[alarm sounds]

What now?

[dramatic music continues]

Well, looks like it happened again.

I know.

We were lured in.

[yells] I know!

Anybody have any idea who these people might be?

No, but who cares? Let's get out of here!

We can't leave. This is our chance to get answers.

Cisco, drop off Frostee's family in the hauler.

Tony and Layla, help me take these guys down.

Sounds like a plan.

[dramatic music continues]

Two on one? I'm cool with that.

Okay, four on one? Not cool.

Yo, they're targeting me!

-[grunts] What's happening? -And who do I need to punch?

What's happening is we got a bogey incoming!

[dramatic music continues]

[whooshing]

No way!

[music intensifies]

-[tense music plays] -They're dragging me in!

[grunts]

-[beeping] -[gasps]

Leaving already?

Get on the cannons!

I want to fire laser cannons!

[dramatic music plays]

Hold on, Echo! I'm coming!

-[grunts] -[whirring]

-[grunting] -[suspenseful music plays]

[tense music plays]

It's taking off!

[dramatic music plays]

Cisco, what are you doing?!

[chewing] Stopping the plane.

[yells, grunts]

Red hot! [grunts]

Yeah! I did that!

[yells]

[grunts] No! Oh, no!

[suspenseful music plays]

I'm going in!

-[beeping] -[yells, grunts]

-Whoa! That totally worked! -[whirring]

[suspenseful music plays]

Oh, no, you don't!

[exclaims]

[gasps]

[creaking]

[stirring music plays]

[yells]

Where do you think you're going?

[powering down]

[grunting]

[groans, whimpers]

[grunting]

[grunting]

No! [grunts]

[gasps, exclaims]

[beeping]

[grunts]

[dramatic music plays]

No!

[tense music plays]

-[grunts] -[henchman] You again.

Huh?

[henchman] I guess I'll have to get rid of you both.

So you're the brains of this operation.

And you're clearly the most intelligent of your group.

I'm glad it's you that's coming with us. Perhaps you'll understand.

[yelling]

[grunting]

-[grunting] -[tense music plays]

[screams]

[grunting]

[chewing]

Now get ready for bounce gum!

[clattering]

[exclaims]

[groaning]

-[dramatic music plays] -Eh, you'll work too.

[music intensifies]

[vocalizing] ♪We run the world like a family♪

[lyrics echo]

♪Ride out, got the whole squad Yeah, we on the go♪

♪Ghost ride the whip As our tires smoke♪

♪The crew stay tight Yeah, everybody knows♪

♪We just having fun Cause this is how we roll♪

[vocalizing] ♪Ride out, ride out ♪

♪We run the world like a family♪

♪Ride out, ride out Chase the legacy♪