Original subtitles

- The stylist of all time has found us, and we are not ready.

- I realize that you're actually

a really big stressor in my life.

- So what style of his and hers sinks are ya thinkin'?

- There is no him. It is just me, okay?

- Ma, I've been callin' you for an hour.

And who's that man? - At a certain age, you know,

it gets old if it ain't with the right person anyway.

- What are you doin' here? - It's really good to see you.

- I got a woman at home, okay?

- She invited us to dinner.

- To health, wealth, and happiness.

- And sex.

- [forced laughter]

- Damn, for real? What she say?

- Bro, if I could speak Latin,

I would tell you.

Then the bitch started levitatin'.

[knock on door] I said shi-it.

- Hey, baby. Thought we'd surprise you.

- Ma? What? We?

- Son, Julius. Bring it in.

- Dude! Ma, what?

- Oh, no, don't worry, baby.

Julius and I done had the Covid.

- What? You didn't tell me that you had the Covid.

- Well, that's 'cause I didn't have any symptoms.

So there was nothin' to tell, but now we thought

I might've had it when Julius got sick, though.

- As hell. - Ooh.

- But then I didn't bring none of this up,

since you didn't know Julius yet.

And then you guys met on the phone,

and I thought, well, why not take a road trip to Atlanta

so y'all could meet face-to-face?

- [chuckles]

Yeah, I didn't know you had a...

a boyfriend, Momma.

- Yeah, I don't. I have a...fiancé.

[smooth hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- Son, you ain't got no rice? Okay, I see the pan.

- Literally, who is that man?

- Boy, stop trippin'. I have known Julius for years.

- Why is this the first I've heard of the Jolly Black Giant?

- Because we lost touch for a while.

Then a few months ago,

we reconnected on "My Age Meets."

- A dating app? - Mm-hmm.

- Momma, please tell me

that you're not thottin' on the internet.

- Oh, please, my thottin' days ended

when your daddy put you in my belly

before we got married.

You have the Isley Brothers to thank for that.

- Not this conception story again.

- What? [laughs]

- You don't have any cutlery? Every man needs proper cutlery.

- Okay. So how you doin', baby?

How's work, hmm?

- Uh, fine, fine.

But, Ma, don't switch the subject.

Why the shotgun wedding?

- I am in my 50s, okay?

And a few months equals a few years in dating.

Plus, with all this craziness going on, we just realized

that life is short, and you only get one.

Which is why I wanna ask you for somethin'.

- It's kinda short notice.

I mean, I might be able to move some money around,

I might be able to shift--

- Oh, no, no, no. The wedding is covered.

Between Julius and the deacon at my church

who owes me the favor for that time

I bailed him out, we're covered.

- Oh, word? - Yeah.

- What does Julius do? - [laughs]

He owns his own landscaping business in High Point.

And he does well for himself.

What I wanna ask is will you throw Julius a bachelor party?

Babe, it'll be a good way for y'all to bond.

- That old nigga ain't got no friends?

- Of course, he does.

But I volunteered you.

- Ma, I got a lot goin' on at work.

- Well, I was gonna stir up some dinner,

but those shelves are lookin' a little bare, son.

- Yeah, I've been busy, man. I ain't got no time to shop.

- Well, how 'bout we go out and go get some things for Deon,

since he's so graciously letting us stay here, huh?

- Okay.

Ah.

So that's a yes to the party?

- Yes, ma'am.

- Thank you, baby. Julius is gonna be so excited.

- Yay.

- You ready, baby? [door opens]

- Fuck.

- Look, I can't stay on long. Billie's stylist, Virgil,

is going to be here soon to see my new selections.

And he may be crazy, but I need him to love these.

- Okay, then just listen.

So Ken moved back to Atlanta and wants to "talk."

- After he played you in college,

he wanna to slide back in 15 years later and talk?

He should talk to your middle finger.

- And I vote that you should just ignore him.

- I left his ass on read.

- Our exes are out here resurrecting like Jesus.

Like them producers trying to bring Aaron on the show

to sell a rekindled romance.

- Oh, not good for your real life,

but great for a juicy new season.

- I mean, we out here tryna move forward,

and these niggas are in retrograde.

Our exes are our exes for a reason,

and we should keep them that way.

- We all could just be celibate together.

- Team no sex is poppin'. Join us.

- Girl, bye, no. - [yawns] Oh, oh my goodness.

Does it seem like time goes faster in the morning?

- Which brings me to how's

the de-stressing working out, Layne?

- It's not. She gave me a big ol' scare yesterday.

Boo, you gotta get it under control.

- Okay. I made a de-stressing list,

and it actually made me more stressed out,

so much to the point where I am not sleeping regularly.

- Bitch, you need real therapy. - That costs real money.

And I am an owner of a growing small business.

So there is no such thing as a good benefits package.

- Boss lady! - Oh, my God.

Virgil's here. I gotta go. Bye.

- I thought you all were gettin' stuff for dinner,

not feeding an army.

- Well, uh, Julius had a wonderful idea for us

to have a special family dinner tomorrow.

- I'm makin' my famous brisket. You wanna be my sous chef?

- Oh, I would but, like, I got dinner plans with my friends.

They took forever to set.

Busy schedules and all, it's just--

- Invite 'em.

I'd love to meet my future friends-in-law.

- Ha, ha.

- So what you think about this?

- Hmm, no.

I'm looking for something cool without trying too hard.

Uh, like this.

Original but universal, also relatable and comfortable.

- Also, not '70s, like you originally asked for.

- Yes, well, plans change, often.

I want that type of look.

- Semi-homeless?

Noted.

In fact, I have a huge order coming in this weekend

with pieces that fit aesthetic.

- Weekend? The event's in 48 hours.

Let me know now if you can't come through.

- N-no! I can.

I mean, I'm gonna do it. I got you. We got you.

- Great!

- Bye, Virgil!

- Ta!

- Boss lady. - Mm?

- Why'd you lie to him? You know ain't shit coming in.

- Okay. He doesn't have to know that.

Hand me my bag, please? C'mon. Give me the bag.

- There you go. - Okay. Bye, Liberty.

[smooth music]

- Where'd you learn that? [chuckles]

[indistinct talking]

- I like that. - If you like it,

I can do that all night.

[moaning]

♪ ♪

- Oh, hell, no. Hell, no.

Come on. - Ooh, yeah, yeah.

You know you like this. [bed squeaking]

Uh-huh. [indistinct talking]

- [sniffs]

Ma, you didn't have to,

but I ain't gonna say no to...

sausage?

- Ain't no problem at all.

Your mom loves sausage in the morning.

- Yo.

- Man, she been callin' both of us "baby."

Now that word just feels tarnished.

- Besides the fact that dude's fuckin' your moms,

why don't you like him?

- 'Cause he's fuckin' my mom.

- Oh. Fair.

How long you gonna lie to her about havin' a job?

Actin' like you've got video meetings every other hour?

- Man, I just can't bring her down.

She's been runnin' around, flutterin' and flapping,

all happy about getting married.

- You need to man up and tell her.

- You ain't perfect either.

Letting Shosh turn you into her little slave buck.

- Uh, uh, uh. I ain't nobody's buck, chuck.

A'ight?

- Well, her friend is problematic as fuck.

If we were back on a plantation,

she'd be sneakin' in and out of our quarters.

- That may be Sylvia's MO, but Shoshana's not like that.

I'm the only one runnin' up in her house and her.

- As far as you know.

- Do I need to remind you that I'm doing you a favor

by lettin' you hide here from your momma?

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Look, I'm just lookin' out for you.

And if I can be real,

I'm mad as hell I'm bein' forced to plan a bachelor party

for that whack dude, Julius.

- You mean your "Pa?"

[laughs]

Mm.

All right. All right, I got you.

I'll DJ your party.

- Great. Great.

Now I've just got to find a cheap place for you to DJ.

- Oh, easy.

I'll just talk to Terry about lettin' us use V Live.

Oop.

[hip-hop music playing]

[chuckles]

- Bro, come on!

- Relax. It's not even mine.

Shoshona asks for 'em all the time.

So it's just easier to get them online.

- But what you're saying is

that one of those is actually yours.

That's a lot of dicks.

- So if you're interested, make an offer soon.

A competitive one. [laughs]

- Okay. - Thank you.

- Thank you very much.

- Excuse me, Ms. Yates?

Hi, I just moved here and I'm in the market for a new spot.

Do you think you could give me the tour?

- Ken?

Is this why you messaged me the other day?

- Well, if you'd answered, you'd know.

You haven't changed.

- [sighs]

- You know, I'm not-- I'm not taking any new clients.

Just grab a warm cookie on your way out.

That'll be the only cookie you get from me.

Hi, I'm so glad you could make it.

- Hi. - You know what?

I'm going to start with the master bedroom.

So we're gonna go. - Okay, great.

- ♪ Hold up, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Get out the way, get out the way ♪

- I told Virgil I'd have pieces,

so now my as is running around looking for those pieces.

I mean, I just don't want him to think I'm a liar.

And just because I am, doesn't mean he needs to know.

♪ You either with me or wait ♪

♪ Win, win-win-win-win ♪

♪ Fuck everything else, win-win-win-win ♪

♪ These niggas ain't shit ♪

- [screams] - ♪ Win-win-win-win ♪

- Yeah, that doesn't work. All right.

- That's what your ass get for lyin'.

- Who said that? Liberty, that is not funny.

- Me, bitch!

- Man, I must be tired.

- Girl, your existence is tired.

- I know you're not talkin' to me like that. I own you.

- [laughs] Well, what you gonna do?

Not dress me?

You already succeeded in that today.

- Keep talkin', bitch.

At least I've got a full range of body motion.

- Always actin' like you better than somebody.

That's why nobody wants your ass.

Celibate by choice, please.

- Oh, my God.

No, I'm not doing this. I'm not fighting it.

- The reason you in this mess

is 'cause yo ass can't commit to shit.

Bitch.

[hip-hop music playing]

- [grunting] What's up now?

What's up now? [grunting]

[shouting indistinctly] That's for you.

Huh? What's up now? [shouting indistinctly]

- [clears throat] - Dear boss lady,

your recent behavior has been "disconcerning."

We love you, but your actions have affected us

in the following ways.

- Uh, Liberty, we don't have to do that.

This is a light intervention.

- An intervention? I am fine.

- I was surprised to learn you could throw hands.

But that ain't you, boss lady. That's what I do.

- She's right. That is what she does.

- You guys don't understand. That mannequin was taunting me.

It wouldn't wear the clothes right.

- I get what's you're goin' through, Layne.

I used to hear voices, too.

- Okay, this is different, Willy.

- That's what everybody say,

but once I got hired at Wilona's

and got the help I needed,

now I only hear voices sometimes.

- I don't have time for this, you guys.

Okay, I've been juggling a lot. It's just stress.

I've tried everything I can financially muster to fix it.

And nothing is working.

- I have an idea.

Inhale for four.

Hold for seven.

Exhale for eight.

And again, inhale.

Hold.

Good, and we'll repeat four more times.

Breathe in.

Hold.

- Oh, oh, wait, um--

- What's wrong?

- I am just really bad at, um, centering,

and not thinking, or whatever.

Just as soon as I try not to think about something,

that's all I can think of.

- You're doing great. May I?

- Yeah.

- Breathe into my hands.

And exhale.

Breathe in.

Exhale.

- [snores]

- Huh?

- [snoring]

[phone buzzes]

- Okay.

[sighs] Focus, Layne.

Oh, wait. Okay a dress.

Oh, damn, I'm hungry. A shake.

Fries. A puppy!

Oh, puppies. No.

Oh.

Oh, wait.

Oh.

Ah, I got it.

[sighs]

Virgil problem.

I got it. You were right.

Thank you, Kristi! I've gotta go.

- Okay. Um, I didn't do anything.

Willy, you good?

- Look. I know you've been skeptical.

But I want you to know, I'm being real

when I say I still care about you.

What we had, I want that back.

I wanna be with you.

- How can you say you still care about me

after you cheated on and left me for Keisha?

Explain that.

- I know I hurt you, I know,

but Keisha was nothing more than sex.

- I know Keisha wasn't the only one, nigga.

I ain't stupid.

- You're right. But let me explain why.

I'm a sex addict.

I-I'm in therapy, and I'm getting the help I need.

But I need you to know I'm a changed man.

And I want you back.

- Cut, that's a wrap for today. Thank you very much.

- You really sold that performance.

I almost believed you.

- Wait, hold on. I'm bein' deadass.

- They cut the cameras. You can drop the act, now.

- Man, fuck them cameras.

All I care about is getting' you back.

Tracey, I just want things to go back

to how they were, you and me.

- I have a dinner to get ready for.

See you at the next shoot.

- Tracey--

- I marinate the meat in my succulent secret

20-spice blend.

It's my special soaking technique.

To get the meat nice and wet.

- Look, I know we're black but, like, that sounded like

ten spices too many.

I'm good. - Deon, wait.

I need to ask you something. - What's that?

- [sighs]

For your blessing to marry Connie.

Listen, I see you being a little standoffish.

And I get it.

I just want you to know that I'm a good man.

- I got a question.

If my blessing was so important,

why not ask me before the engagement?

- I promise you. No disrespect was meant.

It's just that Connie and I can't wait to be married.

I was going to ask you when we met.

It'd just mean a lot to have it.

You don't have to answer right now.

Take some time.

[laughter]

- I can't believe that it has been so long since I saw y'all.

But Deon has been keepin' me up to date.

- Whatever he told you about me, Ms. Connie,

don't believe it.

- Now hush, Vincent.

He told me that you were DJ'ing Jewish parties

and getting that kosher cash. [laughs]

And you, we saw your ads on the drive up, Ms. Veronica.

You'd better sell Atlanta.

- Why thank you, ma'am. I'm tryin'.

- Oh, no, you're not tryin'. You're doin', okay?

- Cheers.

And Tracey, our big TV star.

Your parents have got to be so proud.

- Something like that. [laughter]

- Oh, please. [laughter]

And Layne.

Deon tells me your business is doin' really well.

Which makes sense with that cute outfit you got on tonight.

Mm?

- Thank you! - Mm-hmm.

- Wow, he must be givin' it to her real good,

because last I checked, she could not stand me.

- I see you eye-bangin' my son. Ain't no fuckin in my house.

You didn't come outta my vagina.

- Keep up that good work, Julius.

- Well, dinner's ready. Let's eat.

[all cheer] - Yes.

- Mm. You like that? - Mm-hm, I do.

- Let me get that. Hold on. - Oh, thank you, baby.

Mm. - Mm-hm.

- Oh, my God, Julius.

This brisket is Bomb.

Not as good as mine, but almost as good.

We should collab on the next dinner.

- Well, now, that would be nice.

'Cause I have seen your cooking videos,

even tried some of your recipes.

You got skills.

- Thanks, Ms. Connie.

I, uh, I'm actually starting my own little frozen meal line.

- Well, now that looks good.

You should be doin' more cookin' on that show

instead of all that fightin'.

- You see, we agree.

But apparently cooking is not as exciting as cat fighting.

- Deon never told me you watched.

- I do.

- I didn't know she watched trashy TV.

I mean, no offense.

- None taken.

Checks are received. Bills are paid.

And foundations are being laid to build my own brand.

- Okay, I know that's right.

Are you gonna give me some tea on this new season?

- Honestly? I don't know what's tea.

We'll see how it all cuts together.

- Mm. - If I could make a wild guess,

probably gonna look crazy.

- Speakin' of, what kinda craziness you got planned

for the bachelor party?

- Um, plans?

- Mm. - Underway.

Uh, but I did get you the best DJ in Atlanta, Vince.

- Okay. We'll see what you got.

We'll talk music after dinner?

- I'm more than happy to. - I know you guys are gonna

play these new cats that my kids love,

Future, them Amigos. [laughter]

How 'bout some classic, old-school hip-hop,

like Goodie Mob, UGK?

- Okay. - Outkast.

- Your kids? - Yeah, I've got twin sons.

They can't wait to meet you.

- Mm. Baby, you and his sons are really gonna get along.

- Mm-hm. - You know what?

I've got three boys now.

- Hey, Ms. Connie. [laughter]

- Mm.

[R&B music playing]

♪ ♪

- Come here, you even taste better with icing.

- You, too. [laughs]

- Ooh. Those tastes good.

Let me give you some right there.

- Right here, right here. [laughter]

- Ooh. - Boy.

Ms. Connie sure is turnt out. - Right?

I can feel her dicked down glow over here.

Okay. Wait, I wonder what positions they like.

He look like the "Cincinnati Bowtie" type.

He really does. [laughter]

- Ew! - Shh.

- The what? Please, stop.

Or I might throw up.

- Look, mom's gotta get her loins lit too.

- Amen to that. This is the first time

I've ever seen her smile this much, or at all.

- Vince, talk some sense into them.

- It's cool with me as long as it's not my momma.

She probably ain't got Connie's stamina anyway.

[applause] Round of applause, clap.

- I hate you. I hate you all.

- Here we go, a little peach cobbler.

- Nice and hot. - [laughs]

- Pass one down to De. - Here you go. Oh. Forks.

- I got it. - Thank you, hon.

- Mmm. - Here you go.

- You like that? - Thank you.

- Looks delicious. - Yes.

- [sighs]

- Hey, are you okay?

You know they're gonna be ridin' you

about this for a while, so.

- I'm cool.

- Deon, grab napkins!

And can you put some coffee on, baby?

- Okay.

- So I have to ask.

Any idea why Connie's being so nice to me?

Did you tell her about us? Or what we were?

- Huh? No.

She been acting weird since she showed up.

I don't know what's going on with her for real.

- Well, maybe that's what love does to you.

Makes you act weird. Maybe she's found the one.

- These tacos are famously spicy.

I might have to... cool you down.

- Oh, I can handle heat.

Fun fact.

Chili peppers are an aphrodisiac.

- Oh, word? Is it working for you?

- You wanna get outta here?

- ♪ I met lil' mama in the deli ♪

♪ She was a wetty ♪

♪ She was horny, ready ♪

♪ I was on it, heavy ♪

♪ She like why you so sexy? ♪

♪ She fell in love when she met me ♪

♪ Tell ya ex to come check me ♪

♪ All this shit will get messy ♪

♪ I met lil' mama in the deli ♪

♪ She was a wetty ♪

♪ She was horny, ready ♪

♪ I was on it, heavy ♪

♪ She like why you so sexy? ♪

♪ She fell in love when she met me ♪

♪ Tell ya ex to come check me ♪

♪ All this shit will get messy ♪

- Let's take this to the bedroom.

What's wrong?

Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm-I'm fine. I'm-I'm fine.

I just--um--

I just can't-- I can't do this.

There's someone else.

- [laughs]

Thanks for ruining my night.

[slams door] - Fuck.

Thanks. - [laughs]

Yeah, Kama Sutra is a sexy stretch.

Hey, yo, cuz, we gonna have to get some cobbler for the road.

I gotta go. [laughs]

- What happened to your car? - It's getting serviced.

So Vince is my ride.

- Oh, uh, and there's one more stop

we gotta make before I drop you off.

[hip-hop music]

- We are at your old club, during a pandemic.

- Because we have business. - You have business.

- I need a venue hookup.

And I feel like Terry'll be nicer if you're here with me.

So if he asks for your number, give it to him.

- Wait, what? I didn't even ask to be here.

And I don't have any money to tip these hardworking women

that are risking their lives to entertain people

during a pandemic.

Every little bit counts.

- What--

♪ ♪

- Terry! What up, man? It's good to see you!

Yo, I wanted to chop it up real quick.

I have an event comin' up for my homeboy's new--

- No. - Don't be like that.

I didn't even get to tell you what the event is.

It's a bachelor party. Huh?

Bring you some new customers.

Think about our history. Do me this favor.

- You know what, man?

You fucked me over when you dipped for them bar mitsvahs.

So I am not helping you with a damned thing.

Mazel tov, bitch!

- ♪ We are the chosen ones ♪

♪ Kill the bullshit, no guns, I'm here now ♪

♪ Watching everybody blow up the trees now ♪

♪ ♪

- You're doing a great job, honey.

There you go.

Oh, my God. I can do that.

I can totally try. I could go like...

There it is. - Wow.

- Vince? Layne?

♪ ♪

- Greg?

You're in a strip club. Like, on purpose?

- Like a G, I see. - [laughs]

Well, I just like to support grassroot strip clubs.

Everyone loves public strip clubs, but, uh,

they don't always support them, so.

[laughs]

You look good, Layne.

- Yeah, you look good too, Greg.

- Um, thank you so much, ladies.

I appreciate that. Thank you.

- Yeah. Bye, baby. - Thank you.

- You all look gorgeous. - Fine.

- So, um, what are you guys doing here?

Are you gonna spin, Vince? - Hell no.

I need a location

for Deon's mom's fiancé's bachelor party,

but Terry is trippin'.

- Well, I got an in at Lush.

It's much better for events than this hole in the wall.

I only come here on Wednesdays for the food.

- Mm. - Yo. That would be dope.

Are you sure you could pull that off?

- Oh, definitely.

I recently did the owner's wife's "vaguvination,"

so he owes me one.

- Yo, thank you. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Thank you. You're the man. Thank you.

- Yeah, thank you, Greg.

- Ah, look at this growth.

Two ex-fiancés not actin' weird,

even though you're helping set up a party

for her other former lover.

Ex couple goals, for sure.

- Yeah, thanks for summin' that up, Vince.

- Yep, I got you. I be payin' attention.

- [sneezes] - Oh, my God!

- Tiffany's got Corona!

- Ah, I like your friends.

They are a unique bunch.

- Unique is one word I'd use.

- So, you and Layne,

what's goin' on with that?

- Nothing's going on.

- You expect me to believe that after what I saw at dinner?

Oh, and I noticed that, uh,

there's no longer a ring on her finger.

- Yep, that's gone.

All right, Ma. Layne and I gave it a shot.

But things fell apart, and now our friendship's weird.

- Well, let me tell you what I know.

Julius looks at me the same way you look at Layne.

Oh, yeah, no, I saw you, all night,

when you thought I wasn't watchin'.

So you guys can fight this thing all you want,

but there is no denying it.

- [laughs]

- Boss lady, Virgil's here.

Ahh! This jacket's fire!

- I've been working on it all night.

- Oh, my God.

Damn, I didn't even know you had skills like that.

This is definitely something Billie'd wear.

- Well, thank you. Okay?

You know, I thought all that just breathe stuff

was just super cliché,

but Kristi's onto something with yoga.

- Mm. - You killed that, though.

- Hello. - Hi.

- Mwah. Mwah.

Show me what you got, Ms. Layne.

- Of course! Liberty?

[smooth music]

♪ ♪

- This is perfection!

Sold! - Wonderful.

I just have a few more things to do to it,

but I will get it to you ASAP.

- Sounds like a plan. Bye. - Bye, Virgil, thank you.

- Bye!

- What? [shouting indistinctly]

- Okay. Okay.

I have officially helped style Billie friggin' Eilish!

- Once Billie gets photographed in your jacket,

everyone's going to find out it's from Back in the Day.

Ooh, it's gonna be poppin'!

Shit's about to get crazy!

Crazy!

- Shit!

- Veronica?

Veronica.

- Ken?

So you're stalking me at the gas station now?

- [laughs] No, it's a coincidence,

I promise.

Look, a'ight,

I know I came at you the wrong way.

I just really want to apologize for the way

I treated you in college.

I-I know I hurt you,

and I wish I could take it all back.

- Interesting.

I look a little different than I did in college.

Makes sense.

- No, no, that's--

That's not it. That's not it.

You-you always looked great.

I was just ashamed of being seen with you in college

'cause I was scared of what my friends might think.

So I ignored what I wanted, you.

Look, as I got older, I realized how wrong I was.

And I'm more ashamed of myself now about how I treated you

than I ever was of being seen with you.

I can assure you that I really do love you.

- You always get this deep at a gas station?

- Not usually.

But I was hoping you'd consider having a drink with me?

- No.

I'm not considering it.

I've decided.

Why not?

- I'll hit you.

- All right.

Damn!

Ooh!

- ♪ We got back and forth ♪

♪ 'Cause you know I'm addicted to your loving ♪

♪ But I know I'll get burned ♪

♪ 'Cause there's nothing left to feel but the hurt ♪

♪ Don't feel the same ♪

♪ All that's left is pain ♪

♪ It don't feel the same ♪

♪ When love fades away ♪

♪ Love fades away ♪

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