Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:03,586
[TV static drones]
2
00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:05,880
[bright tone]
3
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:06,881
[siren wailing]
4
00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:09,134
There's been
a national attack.
5
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,428
You've attempted to shield
yourself and your loved ones
6
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,804
from the fallout,
7
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:15,140
but you've likely
already been exposed
8
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:17,225
to the dangerous
and harmful effects.
9
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:22,397
Celebration Edition Juneteenth
ice cream from Walmart,
10
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:25,442
panty liners branded
with the slogan,
11
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,986
"It's Always
the freedom for me,"
12
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:32,240
{\an8}and Claire's
"40 Anklets and a Jewel Sale."
13
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,616
{\an8}That's right.
14
00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:36,786
Corporations have culturally
appropriated Juneteenth
15
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:40,081
more than white people voicing
Black cartoon characters.
16
00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:41,624
So, if you want to avoid
17
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:44,753
the ASOS
"Sharecrop Top Blowout Sale,"
18
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:48,256
there are four steps you must
take to protect yourself,
19
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:52,302
your family, and your wallet
from corporate Juneteenth,
20
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:56,055
[echoing]
AKA Doomteenth.
21
00:00:57,515 --> 00:00:59,976
Step one, be prepared.
22
00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:02,479
The companies are going
to race-bait you
23
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:05,106
more than a watermelon
dressed up as Chris Evans.
24
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:07,066
Now, hold on.
I like Chris Evans.
25
00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:08,276
That white boy cute.
26
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:10,445
Without your desire or consent,
27
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:13,323
they will try to entice you
with taglines like...
28
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,577
{\an8}Or...
29
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:22,499
{\an8}So prepare yourself mentally
for the B.S.
30
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:25,502
{\an8}Fight the urge to save 15%
31
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:26,503
{\an8}by remembering,
32
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,129
{\an8}to many of these corporations,
33
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,006
you're still 3/5.
34
00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:33,176
And while the investigation
into "who asked for this?"
35
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:36,304
remains ongoing,
the "who did this?" is clear.
36
00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:38,515
And, yes, they are.
37
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,850
Which brings us to step two--
38
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:42,185
quit your job.
39
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,353
What you say?
40
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:46,815
This may sound extreme,
but you know someone's gonna
41
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,983
{\an8}say something stupid to you
today like,
42
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:51,694
{\an8}"Should we put a Z at the end
of Walgreens
43
00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:53,321
{\an8}instead of an S
for Juneteenth?"
44
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,281
So it's best to get
ahead of it now.
45
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:56,491
{\an8}Don't wait around
46
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:57,742
{\an8}for Royal Caribbean
47
00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:58,952
{\an8}to change their slogan to...
48
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,998
Don't let Kia help you
unchain your new whip,
49
00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:06,167
no matter how good the deal is.
[tires squealing]
50
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:08,837
These companies are trying
to wipe away years
51
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,506
of institutional racism
with one catchphrase,
52
00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:14,342
but the catch is, they basic.
53
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:18,012
Step three--
I would say stay inside,
54
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:20,098
but you know
we gon' be barbecuing,
55
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,891
{\an8}so do it anyway,
56
00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,560
{\an8}even in the face of Sweetgreen
57
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,894
{\an8}trying to sell you the...
58
00:02:24,894 --> 00:02:26,980
{\an8}♪ Wade in the water ♪
59
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,189
{\an8}Melon salad.
60
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,816
{\an8}Or Applebee's telling you
to follow
61
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,526
{\an8}the North Star to appetizers.
62
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:32,861
{\an8}And for the vegans,
63
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,612
{\an8}Impossible trying to lure you
with the promise
64
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,030
{\an8}of non-plantation products,
65
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,575
{\an8}but they still come
from the corporate plantation.
66
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:42,370
{\an8}Remember, freedom
is not impossible!
67
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:43,371
{\an8}[cat screeches]
68
00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:45,623
Which brings us
to the final step.
69
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,587
These deals...
[laughs]
70
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,921
They gon' be very tempting.
71
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,715
You might not be able to resist
72
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:56,134
the "Sprint to Freedom
Family Plan"
73
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,261
or the "Whip those Cheeks
into Shape" sale
74
00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:01,639
at 24 Hour Fitness, but you
can't say you weren't warned!
75
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,434
Fortune 500 engagement
is just a cash grab
76
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,935
thinly veiled in kente cloth,
77
00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:08,730
and only you can prevent
cultural dumpster fires!
78
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,024
These corporations
are putting raisins
79
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,234
in your ancestors'
potato salad.
80
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:14,569
Yuck!
81
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,446
{\an8}Report Juneteenth violations
82
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,239
{\an8}to the official tip line--
83
00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:20,033
{\an8}Black Twitter.
84
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:23,745
Have a happy
and safe Juneteenth.
85
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:27,624
[Doechii's "I Told Em"]
86
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,375
♪ We told 'em we was kings,
we showed 'em the machine ♪
87
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,461
♪ I been gave 'em the keys,
I been flew overseas ♪
88
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,504
♪ I been knew I'm a queen,
I been knew I was free ♪
89
00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:35,506
♪ I told 'em, I told 'em,
I told 'em, goddamn ♪
90
00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:37,508
♪ I been whippin' the rolls,
I been bookin' the shows ♪
91
00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:39,594
♪ I been takin' the hoes,
they been calling me doe ♪
92
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,638
♪ I been pickin' the clothes,
I been knew I was gold ♪
93
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,181
♪ I told 'em,
I told 'em, I told 'em ♪
94
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:46,684
♪ Holla, ooh ♪
95
00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:49,270
♪ I told 'em, goddamn ♪
96
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:51,272
♪ What you told 'em ♪
97
00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:55,109
♪ The funk don't matter
if it's not cross chatter ♪
98
00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:58,029
♪ If the Black Lives Matter
I would know ♪
99
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,656
♪ What you told 'em,
what you told 'em, goddamn ♪
100
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,115
♪ ♪
101
00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:02,617
♪ I would know,
what you told 'em ♪
102
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,160
♪ What you told 'em, goddamn ♪
103
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:08,164
[upbeat hip-hop music]
104
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,249
Hootie hoo!
105
00:04:10,249 --> 00:04:12,502
Bring it in!
Yeah, yeah, gather round.
106
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,045
Gather round.
Let us see it, whoo!
107
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,005
Let me some of those fresh,
crispy turnouts.
108
00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:17,715
All right, now, before we get
109
00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:19,676
into our quarterly
pit bull reports,
110
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,010
I think we should welcome
111
00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:23,388
our new gang sign language interpreter,
112
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,556
Edith, with a little
blippity blippity...
113
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,183
all:
Scat, scat, scat.
114
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,352
Can you say,
"I'm the hardest out, cuz"?
115
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:32,981
- Oh.
- Congratulations is in order,
116
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:35,483
because our morale
and our productivity
117
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,485
has been banging
ever since we posted up
118
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:38,695
in this here WeMurk office.
119
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,697
I'm productive
than a motherfucker.
120
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,824
So you saying,
we ain't gotta tele-bang
121
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,326
when we can hella-hang
in person?
122
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,328
[laughter]
123
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:49,914
- You wild like that.
- No!
124
00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:52,208
That's not what I'm saying,
125
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:56,796
Miss Forgets to CC,
Miss Sends Without Attachment.
126
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,048
My bad, you know
I'm a snail mail nigga.
127
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:01,217
One more reply all from you,
128
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:03,136
and I'ma unsubscribe you
from life.
129
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,929
- [gasps]
- That means she gon' kill you.
130
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,889
- I know, nigga.
- Like a motherfucker.
131
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:09,767
Unfortunately, Jess ain't
the only one messing up.
132
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,186
Some of y'all coming up in here
with your flags wrinkled
133
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:13,396
and your Dickies crinkled.
134
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:14,856
Yeah, it sound
like you sayin',
135
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:17,316
we should starch
before we march
136
00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:19,527
up out the house, huh?
137
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,237
[laughter]
138
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:24,741
My apologies, Elisa.
My iron stopped packing heat.
139
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,034
Hell, no, homey!
140
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,202
You way too important to
this motherfucking affiliation
141
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:29,704
for me to allow you
to make any excuses!
142
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:30,997
I understand
what you're saying.
143
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,041
We got a whole-ass corporate
dry cleaning account, okay?
144
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,208
Wait, we do?
145
00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:36,169
It was in the
"Gang Resources" Slack channel.
146
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,963
Not you slacking on Slack.
147
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,923
Hey, my bad,
I didn't check it.
148
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:42,258
You ain't what?
You ain't check?
149
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:44,093
I mean, damn,
what you mean you ain't check?
150
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:48,014
You know what, what part of
"Check yo' Slack every five
151
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:51,184
to stay alive"
don't you understand, Tamra?
152
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,312
What part of this sign don't
you wanna fucking understand?
153
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,438
- Huh?
- I got it.
154
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:58,107
- You know what? Ooh!
- No, no, don't kill her.
155
00:05:58,107 --> 00:05:59,358
- Oh!
- Don't kill her.
156
00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:01,235
The only thing
that's getting killt
157
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,821
is her old-ass iPhone 4.
158
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:05,198
So, here, take this
159
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,575
and just catch up
with everybody else, a'ight?
160
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:08,743
Get plugged in.
161
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,203
That went a different way
like a motherfucker.
162
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,746
Now I can finally
FaceTime my PO.
163
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,415
All right, so next,
we gon' talk about how we gon'
164
00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:15,583
lower our carbon footprint.
165
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,293
- Wootie woo!
- What the fuck?
166
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:19,337
all:
Wootie woo!
167
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,798
Speaking of moving feet,
this is our turf,
168
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:24,342
'cause we reserved this space
169
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:27,512
from 3:15 to 4:00.
170
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:30,640
4:00, 4:00!
171
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,100
- This look like 12:00.
- 4:00!
172
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:33,810
Are those the hands
or the clock?
173
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,145
{\an8}Hey!
Says who, homey?
174
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:38,523
Tameka!
That's who says it.
175
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:41,025
I'm the head thorn
of the Floral Chiefs.
176
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:43,277
Flippity flippity!
all: Blap, blap, blap!
177
00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:44,946
- What the fuck?
- Oh, what?
178
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,155
- Whoa!
- Hell, nah, nah.
179
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:49,951
And me, Romaine,
the D.O.G.O.,
180
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,286
director of gang operations.
181
00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:55,957
And when Tameka wants a spot,
I got it on lock.
182
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:59,168
And me, Phaedra.
I'm in accounts receivable.
183
00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:00,962
And I say we blast these fools.
184
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:03,673
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
185
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:07,093
You know, blasting fools
is against murk policy.
186
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,553
Well, well, Reefs,
187
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,680
looks like we forgot
to set out Glocks back
188
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,641
to gang-light savings time,
you feel me?
189
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:16,310
That's cool, 'cause I'm finna
use that extra hour
190
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,229
to stomp some fools out.
191
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:21,232
And I'm 'bout to get
slap-happy like a motherfucker.
192
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,817
What's your pronoun, fool?
193
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:25,153
- She/queen.
- All right, I respect it.
194
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,280
You ain't intimidating shit.
195
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,865
You know what you need
to intimidate?
196
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:32,702
Your low rates
of employee retention.
197
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:33,953
- Ah!
- Hey!
198
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,330
Don't you be worrying about
our employee retention, homey.
199
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:37,665
And don't you be worrying
200
00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:39,333
about motherfucking pronouns,
Cabbage Patch head!
201
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:42,545
What you need to worry about
is your ROI being DOA!
202
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,589
You can't intimidate
no motherfucking Reef, homey.
203
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:45,798
You know why?
204
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,383
'Cause we full
of motherfucking heart
205
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:48,926
and we ain't go
no emotions left
206
00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:51,220
'cause we been banging on Zoom
for the past two years!
207
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,848
You know how hard it is
to murk on a shared network?
208
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,559
[chuckles] If you trying
to Google Meet, just say that!
209
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:57,894
Hey, hey, hey!
210
00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:03,065
Is what I would say
if I did not just complete
211
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:05,568
the Murkplace Relations Training.
212
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:06,861
Third time's a charm.
213
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:09,030
That's right.
That's that good shit.
214
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,365
The Chiefs don't do
set tripping anymore
215
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:14,202
'cause it's against our
Diversity and Collusion policy.
216
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,454
Flippity flippity!
all: Blap, blap, blap!
217
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:17,538
Blossom.
218
00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:18,748
The TV show from the '90s
with the white lady?
219
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:19,707
Whoa.
220
00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,792
Well, homey,
We got a blippity lease
221
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,753
till the end
of the motherfucking quarter.
222
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:26,130
So I guess
the Floral Chiefs gon' have
223
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:29,091
to replant their Dickies
somewhere else.
224
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:30,259
You feel me?
225
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:33,137
Hey, yo, Elisa, we could
murk these fools no doubt,
226
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:35,848
or we could take a late lunch,
you know,
227
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:36,933
focus on team building,
228
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,684
get back to our core values
or whatever,
229
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,061
let them have they 45.
230
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,646
You know what?
I'm real proud of you--
231
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,689
taking your mediation
techniques to heart.
232
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,107
Plus, I got some jerk chicken
233
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:47,026
in the motherfucking microwave
waiting on me.
234
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,278
- Yeah, go get a snack.
- Wow, cuz.
235
00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:51,739
- Progress.
- You doing that leader shit.
236
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:54,784
Yeah, while we're here,
you can use the whiteboard,
237
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,619
as long as we can
scan some papers
238
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,205
for our tele-murking homegirls
that are up in the pen.
239
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,165
I Xerox with that.
240
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:02,625
[laughter]
241
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:05,127
You know what? I'm really
we was able to squash this
242
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,797
before shit got real "per
my last email" in this bitch.
243
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,716
[laughter]
244
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:13,469
For the first time
in banking herstory,
245
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:16,847
two colors are gonna blend
together to create a new color.
246
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:18,474
- That's right.
- Pur-peach.
247
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:20,017
- Hey, hey, hey!
- What up, homey?
248
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:23,479
Some mark-ass buster blocked
me in like a motherfucker.
249
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:26,899
Regulators, mount up!
250
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,317
Let's go!
251
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,278
[dramatic hip-hop music]
252
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,822
[screaming]
253
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,533
{\an8}[light music]
254
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,201
{\an8}[French accent]
Bonjour.
255
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:39,412
{\an8}I am Noémie Marceau.
256
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,039
I play Elisa
in the Coral Reefs gang, oui.
257
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:44,125
And, uh, quelle surprise...
258
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,127
[chuckles]
Just like the fries,
259
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:49,297
the kiss, and the Montana,
I am French.
260
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,424
Oh, what inspiration do I pull
from my real life?
261
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:55,261
Well, I was born with the
baguettes for legs, oui, oui?
262
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,305
[laughs]
And, um...
263
00:09:57,305 --> 00:10:01,851
[electricity buzzing]
264
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,687
[laughs]
Oh.
265
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,439
Where was I? Oh.
266
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,441
I must have gotten
my wires croissants.
267
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:12,445
[laughs]
Oh, Jean-Claude Van damn it.
268
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,364
{\an8}Nothing in my mind is éclair.
269
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:18,242
{\an8}[thunder rumbling]
270
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:22,330
Oh, you are gonna love
everybody here...
271
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,540
but Bobby--everybody hates him.
272
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:27,251
And that is the vodka
and Alizé kegerator.
273
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:30,087
Oh.
Mm, nice.
274
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,756
Oh, good morning, Bobby.
275
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,215
You know,
this is why I took this job.
276
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:35,468
The insurance covers health,
dental, and DUIs.
277
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,969
Oh, sure does,
and let me introduce you
278
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,137
to my work wife Saizon.
279
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:39,597
You're gonna love her
as much as I do.
280
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:41,015
We've been cubicle mates
five years.
281
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,600
[whispering]
That's 30 in office years.
282
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,602
[normal voice]
Hey, work wife!
283
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,103
Daphne!
284
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:48,272
How dare you show
your face here
285
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,858
after you jammed my printer?
286
00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:52,526
- No.
- Agh!
287
00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:54,403
Damn it, Saizon!
288
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:56,781
I can never live up
to your expectations.
289
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,657
I'm sorry I'm not her.
290
00:10:58,657 --> 00:11:00,117
[all gasp]
291
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:03,245
Ay, no.
[gasps]
292
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:06,624
I would never ask you to be
employee of the month!
293
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,293
I just want you to be loyal.
294
00:11:09,293 --> 00:11:13,214
Who... is...she?
295
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,632
[dramatic music]
296
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,092
I--
297
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,594
I'm Shyla, the new
district directives director.
298
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:20,763
I'll be dissecting
the D2D disintermediate
299
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,890
distribution drivables.
300
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:24,266
- Oh!
- Ooh.
301
00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:27,436
Are you training
someone else, Daphne?
302
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,021
♪ ♪
303
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,898
I am, but, of course,
I wouldn't have to
304
00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:31,899
if you did your job.
305
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,526
[gasps]
306
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,277
♪ ♪
307
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:38,906
Do you expect me to allow you
to bring another woman
308
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:41,784
into our marital spreadsheets?
309
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:44,578
I like to use Google Sheets
to aggregate backend data,
310
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,580
if that's what you're into.
311
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:49,959
See, Shyla can bring a little
spice to the break room.
312
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,294
♪ ♪
313
00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:53,838
You...
314
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:54,880
bastard!
315
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,340
- [grunts]
- No.
316
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,550
- Ay!
- No.
317
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,509
- [growls]
- Ay!
318
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:00,177
- Look at me.
- [clears throat]
319
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:02,471
Hey, Daphne,
I got a package for you.
320
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,473
This time, it isn't broken...
[objects shatter]
321
00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:05,516
I think.
322
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:08,352
Oh, Cliff,
you can break my box anytime.
323
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:12,648
Speaking of precious cargo,
how is your wife, Cliffard?
324
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,483
Is she dead yet?
325
00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:16,610
No, she--she couldn't be
better, actually.
326
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:18,487
We're expecting
baby number six.
327
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,322
Four more, and we get
our own show on TLC.
328
00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:21,282
So...
[giggles]
329
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,283
[object shatters]
Oh.
330
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,659
- [all gasp]
- Sounds fragile.
331
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:26,203
Oh, those packages
are broken...
332
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:27,997
[objects shatter]
Just like my heart!
333
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,790
[gasps]
334
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:33,127
I can't...
335
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,628
Ah!
336
00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:37,798
[grunts]
337
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,717
- Stand you.
- Ah!
338
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,177
Ah!
339
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,387
Daphne, how
about you and I take a beat
340
00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:47,183
and regroup to figure out
how we could self-drive
341
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,518
our quarterly yearnings?
342
00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:51,896
My heart is broken.
Call 911.
343
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:54,482
Ooh, Shyla, we can't.
344
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:57,151
Saizon is already plugged
into my U-S-Booty port.
345
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,527
[moans]
346
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:00,070
Daphne.
347
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,702
{\an8}♪ ♪
348
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:16,420
My tongue can go south
of the border, too.
349
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:19,298
No, I will take everything
with me.
350
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:22,259
- Oh!
- I will take the paper clips.
351
00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:24,553
- I will take the mug!
- Por favor!
352
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:26,680
I want it all.
353
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,432
♪ ♪
354
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:30,017
Not the succulent.
355
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:32,394
We raised it together.
I was its mother.
356
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:35,940
No, you were my work wife!
357
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:38,984
No, I was your work wife.
358
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:40,027
¿Qué?
359
00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:42,029
[both gasping]
360
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:46,242
[shrieking]
361
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,868
- Mandalay?
- Yes.
362
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:49,078
I thought you was dead.
363
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:51,455
- Or moved to accounting.
- I'm back.
364
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:54,083
And now, Daphne, will you
365
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:57,419
be my work wife
till layoffs do us part?
366
00:13:57,419 --> 00:14:01,423
Will Daphne say yes
to Shyla?
367
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:04,260
Will Saizon ever wake up?
368
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:07,096
Will UPS Cliff realize
369
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,598
his fly was down
the whole time?
370
00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:11,934
Find out next week on...
371
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:15,479
"The Bold and the Cubicle."
372
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:19,942
You better be a treasure
and not a Pandora's box, okay?
373
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,610
'Cause I don't have the time
nor the energy
374
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,571
to be waking up spirits.
375
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,197
[grunts]
376
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,491
[sighs]
Okay.
377
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:32,663
[squeals, gasps, laughs]
378
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:36,417
Oh, I knew resisting the urge
to steal my neighbors' packages
379
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,252
would bring me
good karma one day.
380
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,754
Hey, Shawree, I didn't
find anything over there,
381
00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:43,424
which is really weird,
because according to this map,
382
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:46,302
this is the exact crash site
where the first Black pirate,
383
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:47,970
Captain Wavy Jones,
lost his treasure.
384
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,346
You having any luck?
385
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:52,766
- Is--is that a treasure chest?
- What?
386
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:55,477
Girl, no, that's my lunch.
387
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,896
Look at you, always trying to
steal people's food and stuff.
388
00:14:57,896 --> 00:14:59,356
That's why I should have
ditched your little hungry ass
389
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:00,608
back in the fifth grade.
390
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,151
We can't be friends no more,
and we definitely can't split
391
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,652
half of whatever it is
I did not find.
392
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,571
But I saw
gold coins glimmering.
393
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:08,324
See, I need friends
who are happy when I glimmer.
394
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:10,284
You always trying
to steal somebody's shine.
395
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:12,411
Oh, that negativity, mm-mm--
396
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:13,996
that's why we can't be friends
no more.
397
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:16,123
Are you about to steal it?
What are you, a British museum?
398
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,584
Well, I didn't find anything
but some old gum,
399
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,669
so I guess better luck
next time.
400
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:22,212
Come on,
not you, too, Andell.
401
00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:24,173
Are you actually gonna lie
to me after I watched your cat
402
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:26,300
for six months
and it gave me rabies?
403
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:27,718
I can see the jewels.
404
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,845
You got more ice on you
than a penguin's asshole.
405
00:15:29,845 --> 00:15:31,847
See, it's that critical
spirit of yours
406
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,349
that made me end
our friendship.
407
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,517
- Think about it.
- Look, I'm not gonna be mad.
408
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:37,936
So just give me the GPS
to the VVS, Andell.
409
00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:39,938
- Oh, my God, these old things?
- Yeah.
410
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:41,106
Girl, you know
I always be forgetting
411
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,650
to take off my nice jewelry
before a treasure hunt.
412
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:43,609
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
413
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,361
- She do be doing that.
- Yeah, I be doing that.
414
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,362
No, she do not.
415
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:47,571
Girl, these are
my sleep jewels.
416
00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:48,906
Did you really think
I wouldn't realize
417
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,324
that you had on hundreds
of thousands of dollars'
418
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:51,367
worth of jewelry?
419
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:52,826
You know what
your problem is?
420
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,536
[scoffs] You always trying to
accuse people of being broke.
421
00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:55,996
What?
422
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:58,374
Some of us got ruby money,
boo, and you're just jealous.
423
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,501
And this is why we can't be
friends no more.
424
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,252
Yeah, I mean,
maybe you're having
425
00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:04,505
trouble with your vision,
so let's do a test.
426
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:05,881
How many gold rings
am I holding up?
427
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:06,965
You don't got it like that.
428
00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:08,550
You know what?
I hate to bring things up,
429
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:10,678
because I'm not really
a tit-for-tat kind of girl,
430
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:13,555
but last week, remember
when you needed to borrow $5
431
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:17,059
to get a Slurpee
because your card was declined?
432
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:21,522
both: Wow!
433
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,817
Wow, you holding a grudge...
both: Over a Slurpee?
434
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,485
You must like going
on treasure hunts
435
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:27,695
'cause you digging right now.
436
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,655
And I'm not even trying
to play the victim.
437
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:33,033
I'm just being real here.
both: Wow.
438
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:35,536
Whenever you guys are done.
both: Wow.
439
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,705
You know what? This is
getting too weird for me.
440
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,206
So I'ma just head home, okay?
441
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,583
Some of us have work
in the morning.
442
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:44,086
[yawns]
443
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,254
Oop.
444
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,548
You're literally making
it rain uncut gems.
445
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,091
Why are you guys lying to me?
446
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,884
both: Wow!
447
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:54,680
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!
448
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,931
- ShamWow!
- You know what?
449
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:58,058
Maybe you should find a friend
who tells the truth.
450
00:16:58,058 --> 00:16:59,184
Maybe.
451
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,103
'Cause me and my previously
acquired jewels
452
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,230
are out of here, okay?
453
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:05,149
[upbeat music]
454
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:06,358
I like that idea, girl.
455
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:08,902
You know, you wouldn't even
know about this place
456
00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:12,239
if I hadn't told you about the
legend of Captain Wavy Jones!
457
00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:13,449
Excuse me, boo.
458
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,159
And, Shawree,
it's me or the treasure.
459
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:16,243
What's it gonna be?
460
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:17,411
I cannot with you
461
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,079
and your dramatic speeches
anymore, okay?
462
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:21,039
Another reason why
we are no longer friends.
463
00:17:21,039 --> 00:17:22,750
Bye!
Andell, wait up!
464
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,084
Can I get a ride?
465
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,461
I would love
to stop at the bank,
466
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,962
and I want to call my lawyer.
467
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,297
Wow.
468
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:31,425
And to think I was really gonna
split $100 million with them
469
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,302
after I found out
I won the lottery.
470
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:36,597
Oh, well, my all-white
seafood cruise awaits.
471
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:41,059
{\an8}[dramatic music]
472
00:17:41,059 --> 00:17:43,145
{\an8}I can't remember who I am.
473
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,730
{\an8}It is like a bra
that's too tight.
474
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,440
{\an8}My mammary is crushed!
475
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,816
Am I--
476
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,110
[American accent]
Karlie Chanel, motivationalist,
477
00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:52,613
inspirationalist or...
478
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:56,200
[straining] Ally's
overly concerned friend or...
479
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,827
[high-pitched voice] Maybe she
was in need of support.
480
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,622
I knew I shouldn't
have lubricated
481
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:02,998
their sensors with shea butter.
482
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:07,169
{\an8}♪ ♪
483
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:09,338
{\an8}[animal trumpets]
484
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:12,382
{\an8}[laughter, indistinct chatter]
485
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:13,801
This is it, Teniece,
486
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,844
your 75th
hip-hop dance audition.
487
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,429
No callbacks.
488
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,890
Today we make history.
489
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,183
History?
[scoffs]
490
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:24,353
Brickhouse is here to shake
some ass and get famous.
491
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,688
Yes!
492
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:29,316
Kitty Kitty Boom Boom is here!
493
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:34,530
Now, dancers, my choreography
to the number-one rapper
494
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:36,949
Lil' Plea Deal's opus,
495
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,993
"Pussies Poppin',
Bodies Droppin',"
496
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:42,663
requires you
to bring your best,
497
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:46,834
'cause if you don't walk up out
of here with a herniated disc,
498
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,002
you ain't dancing hard enough!
499
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:53,090
You gotta pop, lock,
and drop dead.
500
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:56,051
- From the top!
- [breathing shakily]
501
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:58,804
Girl, if you ain't doing the
Nae Nae, put your hand down.
502
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,932
Miss Kitty Kitty Boom Boom,
ever since I was a little girl,
503
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,434
I dreamed that my dancing
would change the world.
504
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:07,062
So, if you can just give me
my motivation for this piece,
505
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:08,981
I promise you that I will soar.
506
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,649
- Your motivation...
- Yes.
507
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:13,151
- Is to grab your pussy...
- Grab it.
508
00:19:13,151 --> 00:19:16,238
Then grab your titties,
and do it for the Kitty.
509
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:17,698
- All right?
- Yes.
510
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,491
- You got it, ladies?
- Got it.
511
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:20,742
Hey, yo, Daddy's home.
512
00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:22,661
[all screaming]
How you doin'?
513
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,163
I love when bitches
get excited.
514
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,248
What's up, what's up,
what's up, what's up?
515
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:27,875
Shut the fuck up.
516
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:30,252
Now, look, I'm just a regular
billionaire rapper.
517
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,462
I'm just like you,
just got anger issues and shit.
518
00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:34,923
I don't want none of y'all
to be nervous or nothing, okay?
519
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:37,426
Just picture everybody
in the room naked,
520
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,094
being soaked
in a barrel of acid,
521
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:41,305
so we won't find their bodies.
522
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,932
Thank you
for that motivation, Mr. Deal.
523
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:45,434
Yeah, you welcome, sweetie.
524
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,602
B-Brickhouse don't motivate
with words.
525
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:48,145
She motivate with ass.
526
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,229
- I like that, cool.
- Thank you.
527
00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,398
Okay, ladies,
let's go from the top
528
00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:54,109
and show Mr. Deal
what we've been working on.
529
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:55,861
Cue the music!
530
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,238
Five, six, seven, eight.
531
00:19:58,238 --> 00:20:00,949
And jump and down,
get it, down!
532
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,576
Walk it, get it up.
533
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,453
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Slap it and walk.
534
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:07,915
Walk and twirl it around,
and knee, knee, knee, knee.
535
00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:09,750
Throw it back, throw it
forward, throw it back.
536
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,252
I would have sex with you.
Yes, I would.
537
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:13,795
Pop that pussy.
538
00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:17,257
Smooth it out, smooth it out,
fight that bitch in the face.
539
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:18,800
- Cut the music!
- [giggles]
540
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,428
Just call me lint,
because I am in the pocket.
541
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:23,680
No, the boom is not cacking,
542
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,308
and the ass cheeks
are not clapping.
543
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,185
Nah, nah, nah, nah, she cool.
544
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:29,645
- What?
- [gasps]
545
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,313
Thank you, Mr. Deal.
546
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,106
Now that I know who you are,
547
00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:35,692
I love you so much.
[giggles]
548
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,110
You're too kind, ho.
549
00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:38,487
You keep talking to me
like that,
550
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,572
you might be my next
leading lady/alibi.
551
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:42,950
No way,
Brickhouse been practicing
552
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:44,451
her perjury and pussy pops!
553
00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:47,996
Less talking
and more twerking!
554
00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:49,164
- Okay.
- Cue the music!
555
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,457
This is your moment, Teniece.
556
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:52,125
What do you want to see,
Lil' Plea Deal?
557
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:53,835
Man, I ain't really feeling
most of these bitches.
558
00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:56,922
I like her, and I like her.
I want to see them together.
559
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,675
Brickhouse
and Chocolate Nutcracker,
560
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:00,676
to the center.
561
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,178
It's a dance-off!
Brickhouse!
562
00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:06,014
[dancers cheering]
563
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,058
It's a nice jiggle.
564
00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:09,351
all:
Hey, hey!
565
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,144
Misty Nopeland, let's see it!
566
00:21:11,144 --> 00:21:12,896
Pop that pussy for real!
567
00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:15,190
Oh, okay, it's a little jiggle.
568
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:17,484
- It's a little jiggle.
- It's just enough.
569
00:21:17,484 --> 00:21:18,986
Well, you better
bring something.
570
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:20,529
My sugar daddy
taught me this.
571
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:23,365
[dancers cheering]
572
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,742
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, yo, cut the music.
573
00:21:25,742 --> 00:21:27,119
- [record scratches]
- That's right.
574
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,372
Shit. Hey, yo, Easter tights,
you're perfect, ma.
575
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:31,790
What's that thing
you're doing called?
576
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,834
- Her?
- It's called an assemblé.
577
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:36,044
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
we talking ass play now?
578
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:38,380
- [giggles]
- You can play with my ass.
579
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:40,007
- Yeah, a'ight.
- It's fine.
580
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,383
You got a getaway car?
581
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:43,885
No, but I've got
a Razor scooter.
582
00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:45,887
Listen, I love
the way you move.
583
00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:48,557
- You on that new shit.
- It's actually very old.
584
00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:50,183
- Kitty Kitty?
- Yes.
585
00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:51,393
Play something sexy
586
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,228
'fore I kill you
and your whole family.
587
00:21:53,228 --> 00:21:55,355
Ain't no thing.
They're already all dead.
588
00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:57,024
My mom, my granny, my brother,
589
00:21:57,024 --> 00:22:00,527
even my cat señor Whiskers,
all died in a cyclone.
590
00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:02,112
My ass can make a cyclone.
591
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:04,197
Brickhouse,
you're embarrassing yourself.
592
00:22:04,197 --> 00:22:05,615
Cue the music!
593
00:22:05,615 --> 00:22:07,909
- You ready to shine?
- Yes.
594
00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:12,497
♪ Baby, I love... ♪
595
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:14,291
Yeah, I like you.
596
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:15,625
Oh, you making me dizzy.
597
00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:17,586
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
598
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:19,546
All she doing is spinning
around in circles.
599
00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:23,425
You know, I did something
like this in 1998
600
00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:26,094
in a Broadway play--
"My Husband Has Rats."
601
00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:29,097
I would have choreographed that
if I knew you wanted it.
602
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:31,308
Turn around, bend over.
Let me see something.
603
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:32,684
- Come back up.
- Ooh!
604
00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:34,978
Ooh, I like that, look-it.
Lean on me, baby.
605
00:22:34,978 --> 00:22:36,772
Lean on me for support.
606
00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:39,066
- That's just a soutenu.
- I like soup, too.
607
00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:42,069
You so delicate, you like
if a daisy had eyeballs.
608
00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:44,154
- Oh, my God.
- If this is what you like...
609
00:22:44,154 --> 00:22:45,781
- I love this.
- "Love"?
610
00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:47,616
Sweetheart, come up.
Come here.
611
00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:49,409
You don't belong on the floor.
You a queen.
612
00:22:49,409 --> 00:22:50,619
Keep your head up.
613
00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:52,579
[soft music]
614
00:22:52,579 --> 00:22:54,456
Put this on my books.
615
00:22:54,456 --> 00:22:56,333
But you're not in jail.
616
00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:57,751
Not yet.
617
00:22:57,751 --> 00:22:59,628
My bulletproof Tahoe awaits.
618
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:01,588
- Is that my paper?
- Let's get out of here, mami.
619
00:23:01,588 --> 00:23:02,964
I want to see you walk
one more time.
620
00:23:02,964 --> 00:23:04,257
I love to watch you
leave, girl.
621
00:23:04,257 --> 00:23:05,384
I love to watch you leave.
622
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:06,635
By the way,
none of you bitches is hired.
623
00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:08,470
- That shit was weak.
- That's it!
624
00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:11,556
Brickhouse going back to
scamming niggas on Instagram!
625
00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:13,975
That yellow motherfucker
didn't pay me!
626
00:23:16,436 --> 00:23:19,731
{\an8}[electricity buzzing]
627
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:20,941
{\an8}[animal trumpets]
628
00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:24,027
Oh, my Nubioids
are starting to remember,
629
00:23:24,027 --> 00:23:25,612
and we cannot have that.
630
00:23:25,612 --> 00:23:29,116
See, see, see, after my king,
Supreme Rahmeek,
631
00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:31,952
rightly made me give up
the presidency,
632
00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:34,788
I became a stay-at-home
supervillain!
633
00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:38,458
That's right, barefoot and
plotting on how to give birth
634
00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:41,878
to an army of super
Pan-African androids
635
00:23:41,878 --> 00:23:43,505
to take over the world.
636
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:46,383
I'd already had success
with my first wave.
637
00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:49,094
[beeping]
Ain't that right, Elisa?
638
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:51,346
[whirring]
639
00:23:51,346 --> 00:23:52,472
That's right.
640
00:23:52,472 --> 00:23:54,015
Blippity blippity.
641
00:23:54,015 --> 00:23:55,350
Scat, scat, scat.
642
00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:56,726
It doesn't even make sense.
643
00:23:56,726 --> 00:23:58,520
I just programmed her
to say that.
644
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,605
You can read more
about my genius
645
00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:03,108
in my new pre-"New York Times"
646
00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:05,527
best-selling
self-published book,
647
00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:07,487
"What to Decept
When You're Decepting
648
00:24:07,487 --> 00:24:09,364
"and Other Ways Females
Can Take Over the World
649
00:24:09,364 --> 00:24:11,324
Without Disrespecting
Their Kings."
650
00:24:11,324 --> 00:24:12,659
You know what?
651
00:24:12,659 --> 00:24:14,828
As Supreme Rahmeek
tells me all the time,
652
00:24:14,828 --> 00:24:16,663
quit all that talking!
653
00:24:16,663 --> 00:24:19,499
Matter of fact, you shouldn't
even be see, see, seeing this.
654
00:24:19,499 --> 00:24:23,211
[animals trumpeting, growling]
655
00:24:23,211 --> 00:24:25,213
{\an8}- I'm over here.
- I'm over here.
656
00:24:25,213 --> 00:24:26,506
{\an8}But now I'm over here.
657
00:24:26,506 --> 00:24:27,716
{\an8}Well, guess what.
I'm under here.
658
00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:29,384
{\an8}My outfit ain't even
that bad though.
659
00:24:29,384 --> 00:24:31,386
{\an8}I just feel like it's
a wrinkle here, wrinkle there.
660
00:24:31,386 --> 00:24:33,471
{\an8}Wrinkle fucking everywhere.
Give me the beat.
661
00:24:33,471 --> 00:24:35,056
{\an8}- [beatboxing]
- ♪ A wrinkle here ♪
662
00:24:35,056 --> 00:24:36,600
{\an8}♪ A wrinkle there ♪
663
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,186
{\an8}♪ A motherfucking wrinkle
everywhere ♪
664
00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:41,605
{\an8}Couldn't be me.
[cackles] It could.
665
00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:43,857
{\an8}Why are you whispering?
Just say it with your chest!
666
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:48,904
{\an8}You got declined!
both: Wow!
667
00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:51,781
{\an8}[both grunting]
668
00:24:51,781 --> 00:24:53,200
{\an8}- [whines]
- ¿Por qué?
669
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,534
{\an8}- ¿Por qué?
- Yo no sé.
670
00:24:54,534 --> 00:24:55,911
{\an8}No, no sé.
671
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,704
{\an8}Ah, hija de puta madre!
672
00:24:57,704 --> 00:24:58,747
{\an8}Ay! Oh.
673
00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:01,583
{\an8}Wait, what, you ain't--
what the mother...
674
00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:03,001
{\an8}fuck!
675
00:25:03,001 --> 00:25:08,256
{\an8}both: Wow!
676
00:25:08,256 --> 00:25:12,802
{\an8}Wow, wow, wow!
677
00:25:12,802 --> 00:25:13,845
{\an8}Huh!
678
00:25:13,845 --> 00:25:15,305
{\an8}Relax, I'm trying
to do something special
679
00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:16,431
{\an8}with my new bitch.
680
00:25:16,431 --> 00:25:18,934
{\an8}Been doing développés
since I developed titties.
681
00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:20,435
{\an8}I don't mind taking a bullet.
682
00:25:20,435 --> 00:25:21,811
{\an8}Where is your HR department?
683
00:25:21,811 --> 00:25:23,271
{\an8}Because this is
sexual harassment.
684
00:25:23,271 --> 00:25:25,065
- You're standing in it.
- Saizon!
685
00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:26,816
Did you ever even love me?
686
00:25:26,816 --> 00:25:28,902
[high-pitched voice]
Yes, Saizon love you.
687
00:25:28,902 --> 00:25:30,362
You're gonna believe a plant?
688
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:45,418
[bright tone]
689
00:25:45,468 --> 00:25:50,018
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
51077
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof