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ASTERIX
& THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
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The year is 50 BC.
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All of Gaul
is under Roman occupation.
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All of it?
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No!
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One village of indomitable Gauls
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keeps up the good fight
against the invader.
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And life is not easy
for the Roman legionaries
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in their camps at Totorum,
Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium.
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What I love in life
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Is wandering day and night
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In the forest what's really fun
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00:01:44,392 --> 00:01:47,433
Is going for a wander with my chum
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It rhymes.
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Obelix, our lifestyle isn't healthy.
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Too much meat.
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00:01:54,558 --> 00:01:56,017
- Too much meat?
- Sure.
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Wild boar
for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
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Supper, too!
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00:01:59,725 --> 00:02:01,308
Not to mention ale.
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00:02:01,642 --> 00:02:03,392
It can't be good for us.
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00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:05,308
What else is there to eat?
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I don't know.
We could try balancing it out with...
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00:02:09,558 --> 00:02:10,600
vegetables.
25
00:02:12,267 --> 00:02:13,267
Veg...
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00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:14,600
Vegetables?
27
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:22,350
You make me laugh, Asterix.
28
00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:24,475
Hear him, Dogmatix?
29
00:02:25,183 --> 00:02:27,933
Imagine chewing a stick of celery,
not a bone!
30
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:29,100
Vegetables!
31
00:02:29,725 --> 00:02:30,808
You can laugh.
32
00:02:31,267 --> 00:02:34,892
I honestly don't see the point
of ruining our health.
33
00:02:35,225 --> 00:02:36,892
Same with the magic potion.
34
00:02:37,350 --> 00:02:39,558
Could be, it's bad for our systems.
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00:02:39,725 --> 00:02:41,892
Where's the data, honestly? Where?
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Above all, do we really need it?
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00:02:47,058 --> 00:02:47,850
You okay?
38
00:02:48,017 --> 00:02:49,100
No, I'm not okay.
39
00:02:49,308 --> 00:02:52,392
I'm just saying,
throwing in a mixed salad, mushrooms...
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00:02:52,558 --> 00:02:55,350
Chestnuts!
When they're in season, obviously.
41
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:04,058
You snagged one already.
Leave the poor things alone.
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00:03:11,975 --> 00:03:13,517
Peek-a-boo, loopy loolas!
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Ave!
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00:03:17,725 --> 00:03:20,683
Sorry, we're lost.
Who knew we're so near the village?
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00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:22,767
Me. I kept telling you.
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- Didn't.
- Did.
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And you said, "To hell with the Gauls!
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00:03:27,392 --> 00:03:28,767
"They get up my nose.
49
00:03:28,933 --> 00:03:31,058
"They can shove their menhirs."
50
00:03:32,308 --> 00:03:33,558
I'm a terrible liar.
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00:03:35,058 --> 00:03:36,267
Leave this to me.
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I'll show you I don't need this.
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00:03:41,892 --> 00:03:43,267
Strength is here.
54
00:03:43,725 --> 00:03:44,725
And here.
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00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,058
Take a seat, sit tight
and enjoy the show.
56
00:03:51,808 --> 00:03:52,808
Hello.
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00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:00,142
Stupid helmet! I blame the helmet.
58
00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:01,600
You plan to step in?
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00:04:02,058 --> 00:04:03,183
No, not allowed.
60
00:04:12,517 --> 00:04:13,517
Help me, silly!
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00:04:13,642 --> 00:04:14,642
Harder!
62
00:04:32,892 --> 00:04:33,892
Not fair!
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00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:36,642
Cheat!
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00:04:37,225 --> 00:04:40,142
Not at all. Without it, same result.
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00:04:46,933 --> 00:04:48,225
You don't have to.
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00:04:49,517 --> 00:04:50,517
I do.
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00:05:32,183 --> 00:05:33,475
Where is everyone?
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00:05:34,058 --> 00:05:35,225
It's hardly fresh.
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00:05:35,850 --> 00:05:36,975
- And you are?
- What?
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00:05:37,142 --> 00:05:38,183
No, nothing.
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00:05:38,517 --> 00:05:41,600
Getafix, he won't let me smoke
my boar in the house.
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00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:44,850
Just because
Mr Asterix has decided to quit
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00:05:45,017 --> 00:05:46,267
doesn't mean I have to.
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00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:47,558
Panacea!
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00:05:48,267 --> 00:05:49,267
Panacea!
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00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,808
Morning, girls.
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- Coming to the market?
- Yes!
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00:05:56,933 --> 00:05:57,975
Hi, Panacea.
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00:05:58,142 --> 00:05:59,142
Hi, Obelix.
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00:06:01,517 --> 00:06:02,975
I just wanted to say...
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00:06:04,725 --> 00:06:07,725
I carved this menhir thinking of you.
It's a gift.
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00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:10,308
Sweet, but what use is it to me?
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00:06:14,517 --> 00:06:15,517
See you.
84
00:06:18,017 --> 00:06:19,142
She refused it.
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She refused my menhir.
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00:06:21,392 --> 00:06:23,642
Obviously. It weighs a ton.
87
00:06:23,808 --> 00:06:26,100
What use is it?
Put it on her finger?
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Getafix, your sickle.
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00:06:27,433 --> 00:06:28,808
Thanks, Fulliautomatix.
90
00:06:28,975 --> 00:06:29,975
Slow down.
91
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:33,725
Say...
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00:06:37,767 --> 00:06:40,475
Asterix has the right
to change his diet.
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Not everyone else's.
94
00:06:42,892 --> 00:06:44,183
Getafix, what's wrong?
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00:06:47,892 --> 00:06:48,683
I'm sinking.
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00:06:48,850 --> 00:06:49,850
You're sinking?
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00:06:49,975 --> 00:06:51,392
It must be quicksand.
98
00:06:51,558 --> 00:06:54,058
There is no quicksand in the region.
99
00:06:54,767 --> 00:06:56,808
If you ask me, someone needs to know.
100
00:06:57,725 --> 00:06:58,767
Chariot ahoy!
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00:06:59,475 --> 00:07:01,225
Chariot ahoy!
102
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:05,558
Excuse me.
103
00:07:06,558 --> 00:07:10,058
Some nights,
my voice just wants to scream
104
00:07:10,392 --> 00:07:11,808
Shut it, will you!
105
00:07:18,017 --> 00:07:20,017
For once, I had a customer.
106
00:07:20,183 --> 00:07:21,850
For once, you have fresh fish!
107
00:07:22,017 --> 00:07:24,058
What? My fish isn't fresh?
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00:07:31,392 --> 00:07:32,433
I'll take a look.
109
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:58,808
For Louise and Marcel
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00:07:59,308 --> 00:08:00,308
Hold still.
111
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:02,975
Bankruptis, already here?
It's not autumn.
112
00:08:03,142 --> 00:08:04,142
You were hit?
113
00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:07,100
- Where's your uncle?
- Quiet, for goodness' sake!
114
00:08:07,433 --> 00:08:09,308
My friends, how are you?
115
00:08:09,725 --> 00:08:12,183
I come from China to ask for help.
116
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:13,892
It's nuts!
117
00:08:14,183 --> 00:08:15,225
Why are you blond?
118
00:08:15,392 --> 00:08:16,433
I was going to say.
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00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,975
I'm a Gaul, all right?
Always have been.
120
00:08:19,142 --> 00:08:20,642
Please... No slip-ups.
121
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No slip-ups, I'm begging you.
122
00:08:22,683 --> 00:08:23,725
I'll explain. Come on.
123
00:08:34,850 --> 00:08:35,850
That one...
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The beautiful girl fast asleep
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is a princess.
126
00:08:39,267 --> 00:08:42,350
Named Sa See.
Daughter of the Empress of China.
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00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:46,392
You do know where China is?
128
00:08:49,058 --> 00:08:50,683
- Two princesses!
- Actually, no.
129
00:08:50,850 --> 00:08:52,725
That's her bodyguard. Miss Tik.
130
00:08:53,392 --> 00:08:56,517
Believe me, she's insane.
Smashed everyone on the way.
131
00:08:56,683 --> 00:08:59,517
She smashed Scythians,
smashed Parthians, smashed Huns!
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A beautiful woman.
133
00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:04,308
A female bodyguard?
Don't make me laugh!
134
00:09:04,475 --> 00:09:05,808
Go ahead, laugh.
135
00:09:06,225 --> 00:09:09,308
Share with us
your Alpha male experience.
136
00:09:10,475 --> 00:09:12,517
Alpha male, just try to touch her.
137
00:09:12,975 --> 00:09:14,517
- Be my guest.
- All right.
138
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:21,725
There you go!
139
00:09:46,475 --> 00:09:47,808
You drank potion?
140
00:09:48,433 --> 00:09:49,433
No.
141
00:09:50,142 --> 00:09:51,225
I don't get it.
142
00:09:51,433 --> 00:09:53,350
I get what's going on.
143
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:56,392
And you'd better stop right now.
144
00:09:56,558 --> 00:09:59,683
Princess and I
are more than friends, see?
145
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,517
- You are?
- We are.
146
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,100
Princess...
147
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:07,517
We have arrived.
148
00:10:11,142 --> 00:10:12,308
What is all this?
149
00:10:13,058 --> 00:10:15,100
- It's the chief!
- Run!
150
00:10:15,642 --> 00:10:18,225
Vitalstatistix
is chief of all us Gauls.
151
00:10:20,142 --> 00:10:21,850
Glad to see you, by Toutatis!
152
00:10:22,642 --> 00:10:25,642
Where's your Uncle Ekonomikrisis?
His silk scarves are too small.
153
00:10:25,808 --> 00:10:26,933
Really?
154
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:29,308
He said they'd loosen up. I look loose?
155
00:10:29,475 --> 00:10:30,642
- No.
- He's a crook!
156
00:10:31,808 --> 00:10:33,642
He sent me. Let me explain.
157
00:10:34,142 --> 00:10:36,600
Allow me to introduce Princess Sa See,
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00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:39,225
daughter of the Empress of China.
159
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:42,683
Who's she?
160
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,558
- Thanks, Bankruptis.
- You're welcome.
161
00:10:44,933 --> 00:10:48,683
Great Chief Vitalstatistix,
let me explain the reasons for my visit.
162
00:10:49,017 --> 00:10:50,600
Getafix, is China far?
163
00:10:50,892 --> 00:10:53,642
Yes, it's where the sun rises. That way.
164
00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:03,058
Since the Princess's story
could be very, very long,
165
00:11:03,225 --> 00:11:04,892
and not devoid of emotion,
166
00:11:05,058 --> 00:11:08,058
allow me to give you a potted version.
167
00:11:08,225 --> 00:11:10,850
The Princess lives with her mother,
the Empress,
168
00:11:11,017 --> 00:11:14,183
who reigns with difficulty,
since her husband's death,
169
00:11:14,350 --> 00:11:15,933
over her nation's six kingdoms.
170
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:20,808
Beloved by her people, the Empress
is confronted by ambitious princes,
171
00:11:20,975 --> 00:11:23,142
who secretly covet her throne.
172
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:27,892
The trouble began
on the birthday of Princess Sa See,
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whom you met in the village.
174
00:11:29,975 --> 00:11:31,517
So this is a flashback.
175
00:11:36,225 --> 00:11:37,475
Another vase?
176
00:11:39,392 --> 00:11:42,392
Each year, same deal.
Who's interested in Chinese vases?
177
00:11:42,558 --> 00:11:46,517
I'm 20 today, and never left this palace.
Just gardens and guards!
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00:11:46,683 --> 00:11:48,683
Sa See, for your security, you know...
179
00:11:48,850 --> 00:11:53,225
Father promised to take me to Lutetia.
Its shops, its taverns...
180
00:11:53,392 --> 00:11:54,808
I want to see Gaul.
181
00:11:55,308 --> 00:11:58,642
We discussed this.
It's dangerous to travel so far.
182
00:11:58,808 --> 00:11:59,933
The answer is no.
183
00:12:01,350 --> 00:12:02,850
Here, open this one.
184
00:12:04,642 --> 00:12:07,767
It's a coin with your head on it.
Newly minted.
185
00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:09,850
To buy a dress in Lutetia?
186
00:12:10,933 --> 00:12:11,933
Sa See!
187
00:12:19,058 --> 00:12:20,517
Prince Deng Tsin Quin...
188
00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:26,600
I hear you raised taxes again
in your kingdom,
189
00:12:26,767 --> 00:12:28,475
while your people endures famine.
190
00:12:28,642 --> 00:12:30,225
If I may, Your Majesty,
191
00:12:30,392 --> 00:12:34,267
Julius Caesar levied taxes
across the Roman world, and it works!
192
00:12:34,433 --> 00:12:36,933
No pain, no pleasure,
as they say back home.
193
00:12:37,308 --> 00:12:38,308
Who is he?
194
00:12:38,433 --> 00:12:41,183
Pu Nee, my new strategic advisor.
195
00:12:41,350 --> 00:12:44,267
In Rome,
he wielded power and influence.
196
00:12:44,850 --> 00:12:48,225
Put the Chinese people
before bad Roman advice.
197
00:12:48,808 --> 00:12:51,183
Naturally, Your Imperial Majesty.
198
00:12:52,183 --> 00:12:53,225
Before I leave,
199
00:12:53,392 --> 00:12:56,017
have you considered
my marriage proposal?
200
00:12:56,308 --> 00:12:57,725
I spoke with Princess Sa See.
201
00:12:57,892 --> 00:12:58,892
And?
202
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:00,808
It made us laugh.
203
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,475
Make a woman laugh and...
204
00:13:07,558 --> 00:13:08,558
Sorry.
205
00:13:08,975 --> 00:13:11,725
If it made Your Majesty
and her daughter laugh,
206
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:13,183
then so be it.
207
00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:20,433
Miss Tik...
208
00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:25,225
My faithful warrior,
209
00:13:25,767 --> 00:13:27,058
fetch my daughter.
210
00:13:50,725 --> 00:13:52,183
This is China.
211
00:13:52,767 --> 00:13:55,892
The Chinese love all things Gaul,
so we're Gauls. Simple.
212
00:13:56,058 --> 00:13:58,433
For a Phoenecian,
it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis.
213
00:13:59,725 --> 00:14:00,808
Ekonomikrisix!
214
00:14:00,975 --> 00:14:02,933
Get it into your head!
215
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:05,517
You guys are Premix and Overmix.
216
00:14:05,933 --> 00:14:07,183
We are Gauls.
217
00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:08,350
Gotix?
218
00:14:08,392 --> 00:14:10,600
As usual, we make all the efforts.
219
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:11,892
Only you?
220
00:14:15,017 --> 00:14:15,600
Laugh?
221
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:16,558
You're laughing?
222
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,892
Am I laughing about going blond?
223
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,058
Grab those papyri
and hit the streets. Move!
224
00:14:22,225 --> 00:14:24,183
Go, yalla! I mean, let's go.
225
00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:26,183
Put those helmets on! There!
226
00:14:26,683 --> 00:14:27,767
Let's go!
227
00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:29,183
China is ours!
228
00:14:30,850 --> 00:14:31,892
No snooping.
229
00:14:32,517 --> 00:14:33,892
You need help?
230
00:14:34,058 --> 00:14:35,475
Touch it, buy it. Golden rule.
231
00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:37,683
They're genuine Louboutix?
232
00:14:38,142 --> 00:14:39,350
"They're genuine Louboutix?"
233
00:14:39,517 --> 00:14:42,058
Of course they are. Look at the sole!
234
00:14:42,225 --> 00:14:45,975
As red as the price tag.
If you can't afford them, try Diskountos.
235
00:14:47,767 --> 00:14:50,225
Give my stall some space. Scram!
236
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:52,808
You nincompoop!
237
00:14:53,683 --> 00:14:55,058
Sorry, Her Majesty.
238
00:14:55,225 --> 00:14:56,683
Sorry for my nephew.
239
00:14:56,850 --> 00:14:59,392
He has his mother's temper.
240
00:14:59,558 --> 00:15:01,017
True, everybody says so.
241
00:15:01,308 --> 00:15:03,850
Of course, for you,
sandals are on the house.
242
00:15:04,017 --> 00:15:06,100
I'll take them out of his wages.
243
00:15:06,267 --> 00:15:08,267
- That hurt.
- Yup. Your fault.
244
00:15:08,433 --> 00:15:10,433
Ekonomikrisix, at your service.
245
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,808
No one shakes hands here.
246
00:15:12,975 --> 00:15:14,517
- No one.
- Not one.
247
00:15:14,683 --> 00:15:17,517
A most regrettable mistake, Princess.
248
00:15:18,308 --> 00:15:19,308
Gorgeous.
249
00:15:21,725 --> 00:15:23,267
Bankruptix, the nephew.
250
00:15:23,808 --> 00:15:25,517
I have my mother's temper.
251
00:15:25,683 --> 00:15:26,683
As well as...
252
00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:28,433
her eyes.
253
00:15:31,350 --> 00:15:32,892
I envy you your blond hair.
254
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,767
I had no choice, Princess.
I was born this way.
255
00:15:36,933 --> 00:15:38,558
Nature decided for me.
256
00:15:38,933 --> 00:15:40,475
Your Imperial Majesty,
257
00:15:40,975 --> 00:15:45,892
if you'd care to forgive us
and taste our famous nectar from Gaul,
258
00:15:46,058 --> 00:15:47,225
the honour's all ours.
259
00:15:48,392 --> 00:15:49,392
Come in.
260
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:51,558
A great vintage.
261
00:15:51,725 --> 00:15:54,767
To celebrate
the great and majestic empress.
262
00:15:56,225 --> 00:15:57,933
On the nose, fruity notes.
263
00:15:58,475 --> 00:15:59,558
There's sunshine.
264
00:16:00,517 --> 00:16:01,933
There's pine and shade.
265
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:04,100
I'm getting hints of chestnut.
266
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:05,350
Bananas.
267
00:16:05,767 --> 00:16:06,767
And dates.
268
00:16:07,142 --> 00:16:10,142
Overall, more fruit salad than wine.
269
00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:15,808
I want Gaul of it
270
00:16:25,392 --> 00:16:26,392
I'll take the lot.
271
00:16:29,892 --> 00:16:31,017
Perfumes from Gaul?
272
00:16:31,183 --> 00:16:32,975
But of course, Princess.
273
00:16:33,142 --> 00:16:34,933
All our perfumes come from Gaul.
274
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,683
Like me and my sales team.
275
00:16:37,933 --> 00:16:39,600
This is the latest creation
276
00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:41,683
that every Gaul lady would die for.
277
00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:42,850
Amphor.
278
00:16:42,933 --> 00:16:43,933
Amphor?
279
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:45,642
I adore!
280
00:16:45,808 --> 00:16:46,975
I adore, too.
281
00:16:47,142 --> 00:16:48,350
Archers! Loose!
282
00:16:48,517 --> 00:16:49,517
Watch out!
283
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,808
Sa See, are you hurt?
284
00:16:58,975 --> 00:17:00,225
No, mother, I'm fine.
285
00:17:00,392 --> 00:17:01,392
Anything broken?
286
00:17:01,433 --> 00:17:02,933
No, I'm fine.
287
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:04,308
I meant the stock.
288
00:17:04,683 --> 00:17:05,392
Nice.
289
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:06,808
Hey, Empress!
290
00:17:06,975 --> 00:17:08,142
Come out, hands up!
291
00:17:08,475 --> 00:17:10,392
And no one will get hurt.
292
00:17:10,933 --> 00:17:11,975
You're encircled.
293
00:17:12,142 --> 00:17:13,350
And slanted!
294
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,308
You said "encircled",
like eyes with makeup.
295
00:17:18,475 --> 00:17:19,850
And I added "And..."
296
00:17:24,183 --> 00:17:25,267
There's another exit?
297
00:17:25,433 --> 00:17:26,933
Yes. My secret passage.
298
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:28,850
In case customs raid...
299
00:17:29,017 --> 00:17:30,642
I mean, in case of fire.
300
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,350
It's the fire escape.
301
00:17:33,267 --> 00:17:35,433
Miss Tik, take my daughter and go.
302
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,267
No, mother. Flee with us.
303
00:17:37,433 --> 00:17:39,392
The Empress of China does not flee. Go!
304
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,100
The traitor wants you.
305
00:17:41,558 --> 00:17:42,558
Let's go.
306
00:17:44,017 --> 00:17:45,475
- Bye, Princess.
- Stop it!
307
00:17:45,642 --> 00:17:48,683
I'll stay. A good merchant
never abandons his merchandise.
308
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,183
Like a ship's captain.
309
00:17:52,225 --> 00:17:53,517
Go home and fetch the others.
310
00:17:53,683 --> 00:17:54,892
What? Uncle Mahmood?
311
00:17:55,058 --> 00:17:56,725
No! Our other home.
312
00:17:56,892 --> 00:17:58,058
- That home?
- That home!
313
00:17:58,225 --> 00:17:59,225
It's miles away!
314
00:17:59,308 --> 00:18:00,308
So get going!
315
00:18:01,475 --> 00:18:02,475
No, wait!
316
00:18:03,058 --> 00:18:04,683
Take good care of the princess.
317
00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:06,267
We are not losing this sale.
318
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:09,808
Just imagine.
You're saving the Princess of China.
319
00:18:17,392 --> 00:18:18,725
I'll work it out later.
320
00:18:18,892 --> 00:18:19,975
Take care, unc!
321
00:18:25,017 --> 00:18:27,058
I trained in Phoenician boxing.
322
00:18:27,225 --> 00:18:28,225
Leave this to me.
323
00:18:29,183 --> 00:18:31,433
So you guys are harassing the ladies?
324
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,825
I went in there and...
325
00:18:39,992 --> 00:18:41,075
What happened?
326
00:18:41,242 --> 00:18:42,950
You got kicked in the head.
327
00:18:43,617 --> 00:18:45,325
All right, I get it now.
328
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,408
So who's laughing now, Empress?
329
00:18:47,575 --> 00:18:49,617
Excuse me a second, who are you?
330
00:18:49,783 --> 00:18:52,950
I don't get any of this.
I'm confused, totally lost.
331
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:55,950
- Well?
- The Princess has vanished.
332
00:18:56,117 --> 00:18:58,575
If she's hiding, she's a smart cookie!
333
00:18:59,033 --> 00:19:00,950
A shifty little fish!
334
00:19:02,158 --> 00:19:03,158
Scour the kingdom!
335
00:19:03,283 --> 00:19:04,658
Offer a handsome reward!
336
00:19:04,825 --> 00:19:07,950
I want her alive
at our magnificent forced marriage!
337
00:19:10,533 --> 00:19:11,950
I know my daughter.
338
00:19:12,283 --> 00:19:13,658
She'll come for revenge.
339
00:19:13,825 --> 00:19:16,867
Scary!
A spoilt little girl who never left home.
340
00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:19,075
- That's my wife you're talking about.
- Sorry.
341
00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:23,075
I'm sorry too.
I'm so confused, totally lost!
342
00:19:23,242 --> 00:19:25,075
I'll have you beheaded, Empress.
343
00:19:25,242 --> 00:19:28,075
No, there'll be no beheading.
It's rude, sir.
344
00:19:28,242 --> 00:19:30,867
Yes, Deng Tsin Quin,
you can't kill the Empress.
345
00:19:31,325 --> 00:19:32,325
What?
346
00:19:32,408 --> 00:19:35,450
It's tricky.
The other 4 kingdoms' princes hate you.
347
00:19:35,617 --> 00:19:37,992
They claim you're not Emperor material.
348
00:19:38,158 --> 00:19:41,242
They say you are
"physically unbecoming with a tiny..."
349
00:19:41,408 --> 00:19:43,200
- Nonsense.
- No, army!
350
00:19:43,492 --> 00:19:45,825
A tiny army.
The tiniest of all of them.
351
00:19:45,992 --> 00:19:47,742
In combat, it's hopeless.
352
00:19:47,908 --> 00:19:50,492
Your impudence suggests you have a plan.
353
00:19:50,825 --> 00:19:51,825
Naturally.
354
00:19:52,450 --> 00:19:53,450
My idea...
355
00:19:55,992 --> 00:19:57,700
Take them away!
Let's go!
356
00:19:57,867 --> 00:19:58,950
Take it easy!
357
00:19:59,117 --> 00:20:01,783
Easy! Mind the Empress
and my wares.
358
00:20:02,158 --> 00:20:03,492
China is ours!
359
00:20:35,742 --> 00:20:37,242
Princess, it'll be fine.
360
00:20:37,408 --> 00:20:38,408
I'm here for you.
361
00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:40,325
I'm here.
362
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,158
Don't worry. We'll help you.
363
00:20:44,617 --> 00:20:47,867
Everyone knows that we Gauls
just love to help.
364
00:20:48,033 --> 00:20:49,033
No!
365
00:20:51,367 --> 00:20:52,408
Not a chance.
366
00:20:52,992 --> 00:20:55,200
Was it just me
or did her story drag on?
367
00:20:56,658 --> 00:21:00,658
By Benelos, how come folks
always come asking us for help?
368
00:21:01,367 --> 00:21:02,658
Vitalstatistix,
369
00:21:02,825 --> 00:21:04,033
it's a tradition
370
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,200
for us to help those in need.
371
00:21:06,783 --> 00:21:08,825
Not forgetting Bankrup...
372
00:21:09,617 --> 00:21:10,617
Tis.
373
00:21:10,825 --> 00:21:11,825
Bankruptix.
374
00:21:12,408 --> 00:21:13,783
The answer's no. There!
375
00:21:13,950 --> 00:21:15,283
It's often been yes.
376
00:21:15,492 --> 00:21:16,492
But it's no.
377
00:21:16,950 --> 00:21:18,325
I'm not feeling it.
378
00:21:18,492 --> 00:21:19,825
China's unknown to us.
379
00:21:19,992 --> 00:21:21,575
We don't know where it is.
380
00:21:21,742 --> 00:21:22,533
Sure we do.
381
00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:23,700
Even I know.
382
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,783
It's the way where the sun rises.
383
00:21:27,575 --> 00:21:28,867
Stumped him.
384
00:21:29,367 --> 00:21:30,992
I don't know and I decide.
385
00:21:31,158 --> 00:21:33,033
Great Chief, I respect your decision.
386
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,575
I depart to save my mother and country.
387
00:21:35,992 --> 00:21:36,992
Princess!
388
00:21:39,658 --> 00:21:40,867
I'm up for it.
389
00:21:41,408 --> 00:21:44,117
And anyway, I'm free right now.
390
00:21:45,325 --> 00:21:46,617
I'm free too.
391
00:21:47,075 --> 00:21:48,367
I want to go too.
392
00:21:48,533 --> 00:21:50,533
You two! Who's in the chair?
393
00:21:51,908 --> 00:21:53,575
You're chief now?
394
00:21:53,867 --> 00:21:55,658
Discussion over. It's no.
395
00:21:55,825 --> 00:21:57,700
Are you out of your mind?
396
00:21:58,575 --> 00:22:00,117
Some village chief!
397
00:22:00,492 --> 00:22:02,325
Ignoring a damsel's tears.
398
00:22:02,617 --> 00:22:04,325
- Mimenta...
- Don't Mimenta me!
399
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:07,200
- Welcome our Chinese friends!
- Yup.
400
00:22:07,617 --> 00:22:08,825
You and your Gaul!
401
00:22:09,450 --> 00:22:11,075
All because it's too far?
402
00:22:11,242 --> 00:22:12,950
As if you'd be going!
403
00:22:14,408 --> 00:22:16,742
No, it's Asterix and Obelix, as usual.
404
00:22:18,408 --> 00:22:20,658
If some idiot
writes our history one day,
405
00:22:20,825 --> 00:22:24,117
the title will never be
The Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul.
406
00:22:24,283 --> 00:22:25,908
Dogmatix travels more than you.
407
00:22:26,783 --> 00:22:27,867
Hear that, Dogmatix?
408
00:22:30,700 --> 00:22:31,825
Stones fired!
409
00:22:31,992 --> 00:22:35,242
Magic potion for the boys
in the village, you're in.
410
00:22:35,408 --> 00:22:37,742
But anything more delicate, you're out?
411
00:22:46,992 --> 00:22:47,992
All right, go.
412
00:22:51,075 --> 00:22:52,783
Thank you. Heartfelt thanks.
413
00:22:53,617 --> 00:22:57,075
So you're starting on a journey
414
00:22:57,950 --> 00:23:00,158
So we're parting tonight
415
00:23:01,950 --> 00:23:03,492
My heart has turned to...
416
00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:04,950
jelly
417
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:17,075
Meanwhile, in the eternal,
beautifully irrigated city of Rome,
418
00:23:17,242 --> 00:23:20,200
Julius Caesar,
in his magnificent palace,
419
00:23:20,367 --> 00:23:23,658
lives in domestic bliss
with the powerful Queen of Egypt,
420
00:23:23,825 --> 00:23:26,283
sublime, dulcet Cleopatra.
421
00:23:26,450 --> 00:23:27,950
I've had it up to here!
422
00:23:28,117 --> 00:23:30,867
Know what? I've had it up to here!
423
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,617
May I ask what you're doing?
424
00:23:37,783 --> 00:23:40,117
Packing my trunks and heading home.
425
00:23:40,283 --> 00:23:42,283
Why didn't I listen to Mummy?
426
00:23:43,408 --> 00:23:46,200
Now it's over, I can tell you.
There's another man.
427
00:23:46,617 --> 00:23:47,658
What do you mean?
428
00:23:49,367 --> 00:23:50,783
You can't be serious.
429
00:23:52,117 --> 00:23:54,200
What do you mean, another man?
430
00:23:54,867 --> 00:23:57,533
What is this? Infidelitatis?
431
00:23:57,700 --> 00:23:58,700
Nailed it.
432
00:24:00,658 --> 00:24:01,658
And...
433
00:24:03,117 --> 00:24:05,950
May I ask
for whom you leave mighty Caesar?
434
00:24:07,408 --> 00:24:08,533
Tabascos!
435
00:24:10,033 --> 00:24:10,700
Tabascos?
436
00:24:10,867 --> 00:24:11,867
The Greek?
437
00:24:15,533 --> 00:24:17,408
Tabascos the Greek!
438
00:24:17,867 --> 00:24:20,492
So you'd leave mighty Caesar
439
00:24:22,117 --> 00:24:24,033
to shack up with a gym teacher?
440
00:24:25,700 --> 00:24:28,492
Well, we'll discuss this
after the lions.
441
00:24:29,492 --> 00:24:31,450
I forbid you to harm him.
442
00:24:32,492 --> 00:24:34,033
I love him, you hear?
443
00:24:34,825 --> 00:24:35,825
You love him?
444
00:24:37,242 --> 00:24:38,367
You love him?
445
00:24:39,992 --> 00:24:41,617
What's he got that I don't?
446
00:24:41,867 --> 00:24:43,492
He's an international gymnast.
447
00:24:43,658 --> 00:24:46,117
Outside Rome and Gaul,
you're a complete unknown.
448
00:24:48,283 --> 00:24:50,367
A complete unknown? Julius Caesar?
449
00:24:51,033 --> 00:24:54,742
Fine. You have international ambitions?
Go with your athlete.
450
00:24:55,075 --> 00:24:57,408
Let the Greek tsat your ziki!
451
00:24:59,158 --> 00:25:00,908
May I, O Caesar?
452
00:25:01,075 --> 00:25:03,742
Minor marital contretemps. All settled.
453
00:25:04,575 --> 00:25:08,492
Speak, Slius Foxxus,
devious and unsightly advisor of mine.
454
00:25:08,658 --> 00:25:09,408
Ave, Caesar!
455
00:25:09,575 --> 00:25:12,325
Your perspicacity captures me perfectly.
456
00:25:20,575 --> 00:25:22,325
May I introduce Pu Nee,
457
00:25:22,492 --> 00:25:26,825
envoy of Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
the new master of China.
458
00:25:26,992 --> 00:25:30,450
How does an empire so big
have an advisor so small?
459
00:25:31,242 --> 00:25:33,783
Size doesn't matter, skill does, Caesar.
460
00:25:33,950 --> 00:25:35,575
Some men have neither.
461
00:25:39,033 --> 00:25:40,158
She's a looker.
462
00:25:40,533 --> 00:25:41,617
Well, half-pint?
463
00:25:41,992 --> 00:25:45,325
I come to offer you
the riches of my adopted land
464
00:25:45,492 --> 00:25:47,867
in return for modest military support.
465
00:25:48,242 --> 00:25:51,492
Your land? Even great Alexander
abandoned the conquest of China.
466
00:25:51,658 --> 00:25:56,075
A great opportunity to expand my empire.
Your empire, O Caesar!
467
00:25:56,242 --> 00:25:57,742
I have conquered enough.
468
00:25:57,908 --> 00:26:01,158
My name will go down
in the annals of history.
469
00:26:01,325 --> 00:26:03,825
I love when you say that. Love it!
470
00:26:03,992 --> 00:26:06,200
What a way with words. Right?
471
00:26:06,533 --> 00:26:08,783
Biopix, my Gallician biographer.
472
00:26:09,158 --> 00:26:12,450
How inspiring is the fabulous tale
of almighty Caesar!
473
00:26:12,617 --> 00:26:13,908
Vade retro, both of you.
474
00:26:14,075 --> 00:26:15,575
Caesar, may I point out,
475
00:26:15,742 --> 00:26:17,700
in terms of going down in history,
476
00:26:17,867 --> 00:26:19,950
in China, you are unknown.
477
00:26:20,367 --> 00:26:21,575
What was I saying?
478
00:26:23,242 --> 00:26:24,783
That's quite enough!
479
00:26:26,283 --> 00:26:28,700
I, Julius Caesar,
man of a thousand conquests?
480
00:26:28,867 --> 00:26:30,075
Unknown?
481
00:26:30,450 --> 00:26:31,450
Alas!
482
00:26:43,033 --> 00:26:44,492
He speaks the truth.
483
00:26:44,658 --> 00:26:45,783
In China, at least.
484
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,325
It's all good, don't worry.
485
00:26:49,033 --> 00:26:52,283
Pu Nee, step forward
to discuss our alliance
486
00:26:52,783 --> 00:26:53,783
with your land
487
00:26:53,950 --> 00:26:56,117
that will soon know my name!
488
00:26:58,492 --> 00:27:01,908
Explain clearly.
Be sure not to toss Caesar a salad.
489
00:27:06,283 --> 00:27:08,700
I swapped your clunker
for something tougher.
490
00:27:08,867 --> 00:27:12,033
That's what I call a chariot. Unbeatable!
On loan from cousin Turbo.
491
00:27:12,533 --> 00:27:13,992
I added boar stomachs.
492
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,575
A kind of air cushion to absorb shocks.
493
00:27:18,783 --> 00:27:19,867
The sunroof!
494
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:22,283
You know what?
495
00:27:22,450 --> 00:27:23,950
I made a perfect chariot.
496
00:27:24,325 --> 00:27:25,325
Magnificent.
497
00:27:29,700 --> 00:27:30,700
Let's go!
498
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,242
Princess, if you'd care to board.
499
00:27:38,533 --> 00:27:39,533
Too bad.
500
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:42,533
We'll have a great trip.
501
00:27:44,450 --> 00:27:47,742
Asterix, I made you
a flask of magic potion,
502
00:27:47,908 --> 00:27:51,117
but Obelix tells me you don't need it,
so I...
503
00:27:51,533 --> 00:27:52,992
No, that's fine.
504
00:27:55,908 --> 00:27:57,033
But just in case.
505
00:27:58,700 --> 00:27:59,950
I'm cutting down.
506
00:28:00,117 --> 00:28:02,408
Watch out, I beefed it up.
507
00:28:08,575 --> 00:28:09,617
You had some?
508
00:28:10,908 --> 00:28:12,533
No, just a quick taste.
509
00:28:12,867 --> 00:28:13,908
Just to see.
510
00:28:16,658 --> 00:28:17,908
Good luck, Princess.
511
00:28:18,658 --> 00:28:19,700
As for you two,
512
00:28:20,075 --> 00:28:21,908
be brave, reckless
513
00:28:22,075 --> 00:28:24,492
and disingenuous. In a word...
514
00:28:24,992 --> 00:28:25,992
Be Gauls!
515
00:28:28,117 --> 00:28:29,242
Hold on tight.
516
00:28:29,617 --> 00:28:32,450
It'll be much faster
than on the way here.
517
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,533
Sorry but can I just point out,
518
00:28:38,242 --> 00:28:42,117
the bard's role is to celebrate heroes
and their exploits?
519
00:28:43,658 --> 00:28:45,825
If I never travel, what am I?
520
00:28:47,367 --> 00:28:48,367
Excellent idea.
521
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:50,700
Cacophonix will go with...
522
00:28:55,783 --> 00:28:57,325
They forgot me.
523
00:28:58,158 --> 00:29:01,075
They forgot me!
524
00:29:06,700 --> 00:29:09,950
And so, at high speed,
our friends head south,
525
00:29:10,117 --> 00:29:13,533
favouring the maritime route that,
according to Getafix,
526
00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:15,617
is faster than the Silk Road.
527
00:29:16,492 --> 00:29:18,992
Having rowed across the Mediterranean,
528
00:29:19,158 --> 00:29:20,367
thanks to Obelix,
529
00:29:20,533 --> 00:29:22,617
they reach northern Africa.
530
00:29:29,283 --> 00:29:30,700
Rub and wring.
531
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,158
Miss Tik, I asked to learn kung fu.
532
00:29:36,075 --> 00:29:37,200
Rub...
533
00:29:38,242 --> 00:29:39,408
and wring.
534
00:29:46,367 --> 00:29:47,575
No, not again.
535
00:29:49,158 --> 00:29:50,992
All good? Enjoying the show?
536
00:29:51,158 --> 00:29:53,867
Want a beer? A chair?
Coming right up.
537
00:29:54,992 --> 00:29:57,533
Not coming up! What are you doing?
538
00:29:57,700 --> 00:29:58,700
Same as you.
539
00:29:59,158 --> 00:30:00,492
She knows you peep?
540
00:30:00,658 --> 00:30:01,950
I might tell her.
541
00:30:05,700 --> 00:30:06,700
Sublime!
542
00:30:07,408 --> 00:30:09,158
She's learning to do laundry
543
00:30:09,325 --> 00:30:12,742
to prepare for her new, tougher life
in Gaul with me.
544
00:30:13,742 --> 00:30:16,450
A Chinese princess in Gaul?
With those hicks?
545
00:30:16,617 --> 00:30:17,867
Don't make me laugh.
546
00:30:18,075 --> 00:30:21,075
When I say Sa See and I are together,
you turn deaf?
547
00:30:21,242 --> 00:30:24,408
- You're not together.
- We are together. Six months now.
548
00:30:24,575 --> 00:30:25,575
Really?
549
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,325
No way!
550
00:30:27,533 --> 00:30:29,283
My friends, once and for all,
551
00:30:29,450 --> 00:30:32,408
Sa See and I are serious.
It's love. And marriage.
552
00:30:33,658 --> 00:30:35,658
- Congrats, Bankruptis.
- Thank you.
553
00:30:35,825 --> 00:30:37,492
I love weddings. Love them.
554
00:30:37,658 --> 00:30:39,408
- With a banquet?
- Of course.
555
00:30:39,575 --> 00:30:41,742
Know what? You'll be my best man.
556
00:30:42,575 --> 00:30:44,867
Thank you.
I was never anyone's best man.
557
00:30:45,325 --> 00:30:47,825
Can you stop being so gullible?
558
00:30:47,992 --> 00:30:49,158
It gets annoying.
559
00:30:49,450 --> 00:30:51,783
- If they're in love, don't blame me.
- Yup.
560
00:30:51,950 --> 00:30:53,283
They're not in love.
561
00:30:53,450 --> 00:30:55,867
If Sa See isn't with anyone,
she's with no one.
562
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:57,200
It's on.
563
00:30:57,242 --> 00:31:00,367
I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her...
564
00:31:01,117 --> 00:31:03,283
You're a phony Gaul and fake blonde.
565
00:31:03,450 --> 00:31:07,700
Yeah? Well, I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her your moustache...
566
00:31:07,867 --> 00:31:09,200
What about it?
567
00:31:09,367 --> 00:31:10,492
Your moustache...
568
00:31:11,658 --> 00:31:12,658
sucks.
569
00:31:15,950 --> 00:31:16,950
So lame.
570
00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:20,700
I went too far.
571
00:31:20,742 --> 00:31:21,825
Not the moustache!
572
00:31:21,992 --> 00:31:23,367
I know but he pushes me.
573
00:31:23,533 --> 00:31:25,325
Sure but not the moustache!
574
00:31:26,325 --> 00:31:27,325
What's he doing?
575
00:31:27,867 --> 00:31:30,200
Unbelievable! He's snitching on us!
576
00:31:30,575 --> 00:31:32,325
He's something else, your friend!
577
00:31:32,492 --> 00:31:33,658
She's coming our way.
578
00:31:36,158 --> 00:31:37,158
What's up?
579
00:31:37,325 --> 00:31:40,367
Nothing.
We're just looking for a date.
580
00:31:41,492 --> 00:31:42,575
For the wedding.
581
00:31:42,742 --> 00:31:44,367
No, to eat. The fruit!
582
00:31:44,533 --> 00:31:45,533
At the wedding.
583
00:31:45,617 --> 00:31:46,825
No, to eat here.
584
00:31:46,992 --> 00:31:48,200
I'm the best man!
585
00:31:48,533 --> 00:31:51,117
He's impossible. He talks nonsense.
586
00:31:52,575 --> 00:31:53,658
Yes, let's go.
587
00:31:55,700 --> 00:31:57,992
Is it so hard
to let me do the talking?
588
00:32:04,325 --> 00:32:05,492
'Night, Smartypants!
589
00:32:07,075 --> 00:32:08,617
'Night, Two-Faced Friend!
590
00:32:10,242 --> 00:32:11,408
'Night, Veggie Lover!
591
00:32:11,867 --> 00:32:14,658
Veggies are yummy. So yummy!
592
00:32:14,825 --> 00:32:16,367
'Night, Fake Blonde!
593
00:32:16,950 --> 00:32:18,867
Can't you just say goodnight?
594
00:32:19,992 --> 00:32:20,992
It was him.
595
00:32:21,117 --> 00:32:22,283
'Night, Miss Tik.
596
00:32:28,617 --> 00:32:30,658
You think Mother's still alive?
597
00:32:31,117 --> 00:32:34,158
The Empress
is the daughter of the heavens.
598
00:32:34,658 --> 00:32:36,242
No harm can come to her.
599
00:32:39,700 --> 00:32:42,033
'Night, I'm In Love
and can't admit it!
600
00:32:42,367 --> 00:32:45,825
'Night, Poppycock
who's so fat that he's all belly!
601
00:32:45,992 --> 00:32:49,658
'Night, Lonesome Gaul,
so alone like a tiny insect!
602
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:50,908
Enough!
603
00:32:51,075 --> 00:32:51,783
Yes.
604
00:32:51,950 --> 00:32:52,950
Sorry.
605
00:33:13,117 --> 00:33:15,283
Hello, how are you?
606
00:33:15,742 --> 00:33:17,033
Good trip?
607
00:33:32,908 --> 00:33:35,908
Your daughter's vanished.
We looked too long in a land too big.
608
00:33:36,075 --> 00:33:38,533
Hello perhaps? There's two of us.
609
00:33:39,158 --> 00:33:41,992
When military support arrives,
off with your head.
610
00:33:42,158 --> 00:33:46,408
I remember now.
You're the guy who loves beheading folks.
611
00:33:46,575 --> 00:33:47,575
You too, merchant.
612
00:33:48,117 --> 00:33:50,783
No, leave me out of this.
We really need to...
613
00:33:50,950 --> 00:33:52,242
Balls for you!
614
00:33:57,242 --> 00:33:58,242
Day one.
615
00:33:58,867 --> 00:34:01,992
When no balls are left,
if the princess won't show,
616
00:34:03,617 --> 00:34:04,617
you two...
617
00:34:07,450 --> 00:34:08,492
We have two lives.
618
00:34:08,658 --> 00:34:11,617
The second begins when we see
we have only one.
619
00:34:13,275 --> 00:34:14,275
I thank you.
620
00:34:18,025 --> 00:34:19,900
That's what I call an Empress.
621
00:34:20,525 --> 00:34:21,358
Love it.
622
00:34:21,525 --> 00:34:24,067
We have two lives and it ends when...
623
00:34:24,233 --> 00:34:26,400
The second life begins with...
624
00:34:27,983 --> 00:34:30,817
We have two lives
and when they begin...
625
00:34:31,650 --> 00:34:32,650
I thank you.
626
00:34:39,442 --> 00:34:40,442
Meanwhile,
627
00:34:40,525 --> 00:34:43,317
Caesar, his immense army and Pu Nee
628
00:34:43,483 --> 00:34:46,775
travel the Silk Road,
headed at top speed for China.
629
00:34:47,150 --> 00:34:48,233
Or almost.
630
00:34:49,817 --> 00:34:50,983
This is the Silk Road?
631
00:34:51,150 --> 00:34:53,400
We're lost, aren't we? Just admit it.
632
00:34:54,108 --> 00:34:56,108
Woopsus, what is this route?
633
00:34:56,608 --> 00:34:58,900
At least 9,000 men struck northwards.
634
00:34:59,067 --> 00:35:00,567
I can't work like this.
635
00:35:00,733 --> 00:35:02,108
It's just impossible!
636
00:35:02,900 --> 00:35:04,733
Join the army, they said!
637
00:35:08,942 --> 00:35:11,025
Woopsus, your call, left or right?
638
00:35:11,192 --> 00:35:13,108
Easy-peasy papyrus, Caesar. Left.
639
00:35:13,275 --> 00:35:14,442
So we'll go right.
640
00:35:14,983 --> 00:35:17,942
Sorry, will this go on long?
Left-right, right-left...
641
00:35:18,108 --> 00:35:20,692
We'll reach China on the 12th of Never.
642
00:35:21,233 --> 00:35:22,233
The upstart!
643
00:35:22,317 --> 00:35:23,942
Hail! Risklus, imperial security.
644
00:35:24,692 --> 00:35:26,400
Risklus, imperial security.
645
00:35:28,858 --> 00:35:32,067
Risklus! Everyone knows you here.
Where is Antivirus?
646
00:35:32,483 --> 00:35:34,233
Still on the campaign in Milan.
647
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,233
He's not reading my pigeons.
648
00:35:37,983 --> 00:35:39,150
Caesar, I'm here.
649
00:35:40,150 --> 00:35:42,900
- It's not the same.
- Not at all the same.
650
00:35:43,067 --> 00:35:44,192
What do you want?
651
00:35:44,733 --> 00:35:48,192
Almighty Caesar,
Carioca, head dancer, wants an audience.
652
00:35:48,358 --> 00:35:51,025
She has demands.
For respect or something.
653
00:35:51,192 --> 00:35:52,192
I beat her?
654
00:35:52,817 --> 00:35:53,817
Are you nuts?
655
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:55,442
Show her in.
656
00:35:58,775 --> 00:35:59,775
Tapioca!
657
00:36:06,233 --> 00:36:08,275
So, Carioca, what do you want?
658
00:36:08,692 --> 00:36:12,233
Caesar, we received new outfits
and what do we see?
659
00:36:12,608 --> 00:36:14,400
Shorter than ever. What a surprise!
660
00:36:16,567 --> 00:36:19,150
If you want go-go taverns,
Rome is full of them.
661
00:36:19,858 --> 00:36:21,192
I'm sure I have no idea.
662
00:36:21,358 --> 00:36:23,858
Sure! The Palladium near the market.
663
00:36:24,025 --> 00:36:25,733
Or there's Sternum, or Scrotum.
664
00:36:25,900 --> 00:36:26,900
Right...
665
00:36:27,900 --> 00:36:31,150
So, what do you want?
Longer outfits for your dancers?
666
00:36:31,317 --> 00:36:32,317
It's a start.
667
00:36:32,358 --> 00:36:36,525
And let's talk
about the role of women in Roman society.
668
00:36:36,775 --> 00:36:39,692
Look closely
and it's all about men here.
669
00:36:39,858 --> 00:36:41,400
Gladiators? Men.
670
00:36:41,567 --> 00:36:42,900
Senators? Men only.
671
00:36:43,067 --> 00:36:44,525
Legionaries? Men only.
672
00:36:44,692 --> 00:36:46,275
Caesars? Men only.
673
00:36:46,733 --> 00:36:48,400
You want a Julia Caesar?
674
00:36:52,233 --> 00:36:53,900
You want Rome run by a woman?
675
00:36:56,358 --> 00:36:57,358
I see.
676
00:37:05,692 --> 00:37:07,358
Back to our friends.
677
00:37:07,525 --> 00:37:12,442
After crossing the Egyptian desert
in sweltering heat,
678
00:37:12,608 --> 00:37:16,317
they reach the Red Sea
and the city of Klysma,
679
00:37:16,483 --> 00:37:20,358
a small Egyptian port,
later known as Suez.
680
00:37:20,525 --> 00:37:21,775
Yes, like the canal.
681
00:37:27,900 --> 00:37:31,567
If we want a captain,
I guarantee we'll find one here.
682
00:37:32,317 --> 00:37:35,025
Look, Asterix,
the tavern's called Little Lutetia.
683
00:37:35,483 --> 00:37:41,608
Dare to come and cast the first stone
684
00:37:44,858 --> 00:37:47,317
To fall for one head over heels
685
00:37:47,483 --> 00:37:49,192
leaves a wound that never heals
686
00:37:49,358 --> 00:37:53,442
But the love you feel is the real deal
687
00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:59,233
So don't be harsh or disapprove
688
00:37:59,900 --> 00:38:02,692
When a woman falls in love
689
00:38:04,692 --> 00:38:07,025
- You don't know it.
- I know it by heart.
690
00:38:07,192 --> 00:38:09,858
With a man who sweeps her off her feet
691
00:38:16,192 --> 00:38:17,817
See? That's Gaul for you!
692
00:38:17,983 --> 00:38:19,317
I love this place.
693
00:38:19,650 --> 00:38:21,817
Exactly how I pictured Lutetia.
694
00:38:23,775 --> 00:38:24,775
Same here.
695
00:38:29,733 --> 00:38:32,108
That's so good! You're a Gaul for sure.
696
00:38:32,483 --> 00:38:34,400
Yes, duckie. Born and bred.
697
00:38:34,650 --> 00:38:37,275
- You've lived here long?
- Donkey's years.
698
00:38:37,442 --> 00:38:39,358
I had a small cabaret in Lutetia.
699
00:38:39,525 --> 00:38:43,317
A hotspot, raking it in,
but I fell for a fella,
700
00:38:43,483 --> 00:38:45,692
a lowlife
who wanted me as his floozy.
701
00:38:45,858 --> 00:38:47,692
And to clean me out!
702
00:38:48,567 --> 00:38:51,025
So who took her dosh
and hightailed it here?
703
00:38:51,192 --> 00:38:53,525
Yours truly. Tipsy, that's me!
704
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,150
What brings you blondies here?
705
00:38:56,525 --> 00:38:58,692
Looking for the best ship's captain.
706
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:00,775
He's your man. Titanix!
707
00:39:02,942 --> 00:39:03,942
He's reliable?
708
00:39:04,275 --> 00:39:07,025
Titanix is top-notch. Unsinkable!
709
00:39:07,983 --> 00:39:09,317
Thanks for your help, Tipsy.
710
00:39:09,483 --> 00:39:10,692
Anything for a Gaul!
711
00:39:11,733 --> 00:39:13,358
Normally, mutts stay outside.
712
00:39:13,525 --> 00:39:15,025
But you're a real cutie.
713
00:39:21,567 --> 00:39:23,817
We're looking for a boat to China.
714
00:39:23,983 --> 00:39:26,650
China by sea? Too much hassle.
715
00:39:27,525 --> 00:39:28,983
Here's what I got for you...
716
00:39:29,150 --> 00:39:30,817
A quick visit of the coves of Klysma,
717
00:39:30,983 --> 00:39:34,067
all-you-can-eat and swimming,
plus the sunset.
718
00:39:35,150 --> 00:39:36,150
Tasty.
719
00:39:37,775 --> 00:39:39,067
Another time.
720
00:39:39,233 --> 00:39:41,400
This is worth more than your boat.
721
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:43,942
Why didn't you say so?
722
00:39:44,442 --> 00:39:45,525
So how's it...
723
00:39:45,692 --> 00:39:48,567
You think I'll stand by
and let you extort me?
724
00:39:48,733 --> 00:39:51,192
Get out before I get out my cudgel!
725
00:39:51,733 --> 00:39:53,775
Tipsy's steaming up. Trouble ahoy.
726
00:39:53,942 --> 00:39:54,983
A problem, Tipsy?
727
00:39:55,150 --> 00:39:57,567
These gents want
to dip into my pockets.
728
00:39:57,733 --> 00:40:01,567
They'll get a dose of their own medicine.
Nobody messes with Tipsy.
729
00:40:02,942 --> 00:40:05,150
Lightweights! Fooling with a Gaul.
730
00:40:05,317 --> 00:40:07,192
What do you want with the lady?
731
00:40:08,275 --> 00:40:09,400
You're the lightweight.
732
00:40:14,817 --> 00:40:15,817
Screwy.
733
00:40:15,942 --> 00:40:17,108
Princess, in Gaul,
734
00:40:17,275 --> 00:40:19,858
when heavyweights run their mouths off,
735
00:40:20,733 --> 00:40:22,900
flyweights don't listen.
736
00:40:50,858 --> 00:40:51,858
He's a lizard!
737
00:40:59,858 --> 00:41:00,858
What is this?
738
00:41:12,150 --> 00:41:14,942
A very, very strong batch.
He overdid it.
739
00:41:15,900 --> 00:41:17,900
Give me a drop. No one will know.
740
00:41:18,067 --> 00:41:19,067
No chance.
741
00:41:22,900 --> 00:41:24,525
One's yours. Take your pick.
742
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:26,525
The big guy, I guess.
743
00:41:29,608 --> 00:41:30,650
Gentlemen...
744
00:41:40,150 --> 00:41:43,608
I'm not allowed it
ever since I fell in as a kid.
745
00:41:44,108 --> 00:41:45,400
So it will hurt less.
746
00:42:04,483 --> 00:42:07,608
Imagine a mini-amphora
with two wings painted on it,
747
00:42:07,775 --> 00:42:09,733
containing a drop of magic potion.
748
00:42:09,900 --> 00:42:11,692
A kind of pick-me-up.
749
00:42:12,067 --> 00:42:14,442
We market it
as an invigorating drink...
750
00:42:14,608 --> 00:42:17,067
I'll come up with a name for it.
751
00:42:17,442 --> 00:42:21,942
In Rome, with all the orgies
and kids dancing through the night,
752
00:42:22,108 --> 00:42:23,275
we'll make a killing.
753
00:42:23,733 --> 00:42:26,150
Count me in. I'll handle transport.
754
00:42:27,483 --> 00:42:28,483
What's that?
755
00:42:28,733 --> 00:42:29,983
It's tai chi.
756
00:42:30,150 --> 00:42:32,983
An ancestral technique
to boost the body's energy.
757
00:42:34,025 --> 00:42:35,692
It's crazy, us meeting now.
758
00:42:36,317 --> 00:42:39,317
My new lifestyle's
so in step with your culture.
759
00:42:39,983 --> 00:42:42,900
Balance, nutrition,
energies, everything!
760
00:42:43,858 --> 00:42:45,358
The two of us are so connected.
761
00:42:51,317 --> 00:42:53,025
- Done?
- Meditation.
762
00:42:53,192 --> 00:42:53,942
Great!
763
00:42:54,108 --> 00:42:55,108
No talking!
764
00:43:01,067 --> 00:43:02,317
It's a fine coin.
765
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:06,442
That's you?
766
00:43:06,983 --> 00:43:09,275
Yes.
A gift from my mother.
767
00:43:10,483 --> 00:43:11,483
That's real love.
768
00:43:14,942 --> 00:43:16,192
When I received it,
769
00:43:17,108 --> 00:43:18,108
I didn't smile.
770
00:43:19,150 --> 00:43:20,650
Don't worry, Princess.
771
00:43:21,108 --> 00:43:22,817
I'll rescue your mother.
772
00:43:23,775 --> 00:43:24,775
I'm here for you.
773
00:43:25,983 --> 00:43:27,525
Quick correction, sorry.
774
00:43:27,692 --> 00:43:29,067
We are here for you.
775
00:43:29,233 --> 00:43:32,733
Some of us were here for you
from the start of the adventure.
776
00:43:33,775 --> 00:43:35,067
Excuse me.
777
00:43:35,442 --> 00:43:36,483
Princess...
778
00:43:42,275 --> 00:43:43,358
What are you doing?
779
00:43:43,525 --> 00:43:45,150
That was 2 balls!
780
00:43:45,317 --> 00:43:46,983
Put 1 back. That was 2 balls!
781
00:43:47,150 --> 00:43:49,650
Put 1 back.
Don't screw me on the balls.
782
00:43:49,817 --> 00:43:51,317
It's extra jailtime for me.
783
00:43:52,858 --> 00:43:54,983
By the way, did you think over...
784
00:43:56,358 --> 00:43:57,358
my offer?
785
00:44:00,192 --> 00:44:01,900
Playing hard to get.
786
00:44:02,483 --> 00:44:05,025
I'm used to tough negotiations, though.
787
00:44:05,192 --> 00:44:06,817
- Ekonomikrisis...
- Yes?
788
00:44:06,983 --> 00:44:08,650
If we get out one day,
789
00:44:09,025 --> 00:44:11,817
would you like to keep trading in China?
790
00:44:12,567 --> 00:44:14,025
- Sure.
- So shut up.
791
00:44:15,942 --> 00:44:18,108
They put us together to torture me.
792
00:44:18,817 --> 00:44:20,025
Let's not exaggerate.
793
00:44:21,275 --> 00:44:22,608
Perhaps it's...
794
00:44:23,358 --> 00:44:25,067
destiny bringing us together.
795
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:27,108
Maktub, as they say back home.
796
00:44:28,442 --> 00:44:30,775
You're very beautiful in a temper.
797
00:44:49,692 --> 00:44:50,483
Gents!
798
00:44:50,650 --> 00:44:53,317
Here, on the Red Sea,
no more fatal encounters!
799
00:44:53,692 --> 00:44:55,817
Who are the predators here?
800
00:44:55,983 --> 00:44:57,567
- We are!
- Bang on!
801
00:44:59,192 --> 00:45:01,358
Ship ahoy!
802
00:45:02,525 --> 00:45:03,567
Thanks, lookout!
803
00:45:03,733 --> 00:45:04,942
Just doing my job!
804
00:45:05,358 --> 00:45:07,483
No lavish ship will escape us.
805
00:45:07,650 --> 00:45:08,983
We sleep tonight in silk!
806
00:45:24,275 --> 00:45:25,025
The Gauls?
807
00:45:25,192 --> 00:45:27,442
It's the Gauls!
808
00:45:30,192 --> 00:45:31,358
Peek-a-boo!
809
00:45:31,858 --> 00:45:32,858
Hi, guys!
810
00:45:37,608 --> 00:45:38,692
Not the Gauls!
811
00:45:38,858 --> 00:45:39,858
Why us?
812
00:45:41,275 --> 00:45:42,483
There are other ships.
813
00:45:43,442 --> 00:45:45,817
Morning,
could you pretend not to see us?
814
00:45:45,983 --> 00:45:47,400
But we have seen you.
815
00:45:47,900 --> 00:45:48,900
That's fair.
816
00:45:49,942 --> 00:45:50,942
Prepare our defences!
817
00:45:51,108 --> 00:45:52,108
Let's go!
818
00:45:56,608 --> 00:45:58,525
Freshly painted too!
819
00:45:59,067 --> 00:46:00,400
Watch out now!
820
00:46:05,150 --> 00:46:06,817
Don't think I enjoy it.
821
00:46:08,150 --> 00:46:09,150
No, wait.
822
00:46:10,192 --> 00:46:11,608
Watch some Chinese fighting.
823
00:46:30,067 --> 00:46:31,233
What now, skipper?
824
00:46:32,733 --> 00:46:33,858
I'm not feeling it.
825
00:46:34,025 --> 00:46:35,817
Let's go anyway. Attack!
826
00:46:39,692 --> 00:46:40,858
No, go back!
827
00:46:41,025 --> 00:46:42,483
Michel, go on!
828
00:46:56,900 --> 00:46:58,275
That's gotta hurt.
829
00:47:06,650 --> 00:47:07,858
That's too many feet!
830
00:47:09,317 --> 00:47:10,567
Let me through.
831
00:47:14,317 --> 00:47:15,525
Sorry, skipper.
832
00:47:15,692 --> 00:47:16,817
Where you going?
833
00:47:16,983 --> 00:47:18,525
Going out like a prince.
834
00:47:20,150 --> 00:47:21,358
Behind you!
835
00:47:25,858 --> 00:47:27,567
Cool it, crazywoman!
836
00:48:08,067 --> 00:48:09,067
Comrades,
837
00:48:09,442 --> 00:48:11,525
official reason for us sinking,
838
00:48:11,692 --> 00:48:13,733
we ran into a Chinese tornado.
839
00:48:23,692 --> 00:48:24,692
May I?
840
00:48:25,275 --> 00:48:26,275
Yes.
841
00:48:30,108 --> 00:48:31,108
Beautiful.
842
00:48:32,650 --> 00:48:33,942
I wanted to say,
843
00:48:34,608 --> 00:48:36,108
you fight fabulously.
844
00:48:37,025 --> 00:48:38,025
Thank you.
845
00:48:39,192 --> 00:48:41,483
How come you never use the potion?
846
00:48:41,650 --> 00:48:42,817
I'm not allowed to.
847
00:48:44,775 --> 00:48:47,525
Dangerous, apparently.
One shot too many.
848
00:48:50,192 --> 00:48:53,275
I'd love to feel that kick
just one more time.
849
00:49:42,775 --> 00:49:43,775
Obelix?
850
00:49:46,108 --> 00:49:47,108
Mummy!
851
00:49:52,567 --> 00:49:54,275
The feeling is extraordinary.
852
00:49:54,608 --> 00:49:56,983
Fizzing through your head and body.
A bit like...
853
00:49:57,150 --> 00:49:59,192
falling in love, so I hear.
854
00:50:25,567 --> 00:50:28,317
Having found their way again at last,
855
00:50:28,483 --> 00:50:30,650
Caesar and his powerful army
856
00:50:30,817 --> 00:50:33,983
cross Persia, the mountains of India,
857
00:50:34,150 --> 00:50:35,733
the Mongolian steppes,
858
00:50:35,900 --> 00:50:38,400
and finally reach the gates of China,
859
00:50:38,567 --> 00:50:40,733
where the formidable Deng Tsin Quin
860
00:50:40,900 --> 00:50:42,858
is perfecting his dastardly plan
861
00:50:43,025 --> 00:50:45,067
to conquer all six kingdoms.
862
00:50:51,983 --> 00:50:52,983
Ave!
863
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:54,442
This is the war?
864
00:50:54,608 --> 00:50:55,608
Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
865
00:50:55,775 --> 00:50:57,233
allow me to introduce...
866
00:50:57,775 --> 00:51:01,317
Julius Caesar himself.
Impressive, I know, but deep breaths
867
00:51:01,483 --> 00:51:02,942
and everything will be fine.
868
00:51:03,525 --> 00:51:06,442
So where are these rebels
you can't keep in check?
869
00:51:06,608 --> 00:51:10,067
War's a full-time job.
Good idea to call in the professionals.
870
00:51:12,108 --> 00:51:13,400
Aren't you overthinking it?
871
00:51:13,567 --> 00:51:15,608
No, simply following Sun Tzu,
872
00:51:15,983 --> 00:51:17,608
the greatest Chinese strategist,
873
00:51:17,775 --> 00:51:19,233
who wrote The Art of War.
874
00:51:19,983 --> 00:51:21,150
The Fart is Raw?
875
00:51:22,817 --> 00:51:26,775
Anyway, shrimps, keep those eyes open.
We'll make short work of this.
876
00:51:27,442 --> 00:51:28,192
All right...
877
00:51:28,358 --> 00:51:30,198
- If you want peace...
- Prepare for war.
878
00:51:30,233 --> 00:51:31,233
Exactly!
879
00:51:32,525 --> 00:51:33,608
He's hard work.
880
00:51:33,775 --> 00:51:34,775
A maniac.
881
00:51:34,942 --> 00:51:38,067
Mega-pretentious, too.
First decan cancer. The pits.
882
00:51:38,775 --> 00:51:41,400
I had no idea.
I need sleep. Chariot-lag.
883
00:51:45,692 --> 00:51:47,275
Biopix, new chapter.
884
00:51:47,442 --> 00:51:49,983
After Caesar the Seducer,
885
00:51:50,650 --> 00:51:51,983
Caesar the Strategist.
886
00:51:52,150 --> 00:51:54,650
Hold on, change of scroll
and I'm all yours.
887
00:51:54,817 --> 00:51:56,358
- Helmet!
- Hoofus!
888
00:52:08,025 --> 00:52:09,025
Sword!
889
00:52:12,608 --> 00:52:13,442
What on earth?
890
00:52:13,608 --> 00:52:15,817
- Last time you cut yourself...
- Enough!
891
00:52:17,275 --> 00:52:18,983
Any news of Antivirus?
892
00:52:19,150 --> 00:52:21,150
He's here and ready, almighty Caesar.
893
00:52:21,317 --> 00:52:22,400
All right, let's go!
894
00:52:27,525 --> 00:52:28,525
All together!
895
00:52:32,358 --> 00:52:34,442
- Goose bumps.
- Same here.
896
00:53:54,067 --> 00:53:55,275
Antivirus, I love you!
897
00:54:08,442 --> 00:54:11,192
Antivirus, don't go losing your cool.
898
00:54:11,608 --> 00:54:13,400
Cut the pushing. It hurts.
899
00:54:13,567 --> 00:54:15,150
You wanted Antivirus,
900
00:54:15,567 --> 00:54:17,358
I gave you Antivirus.
901
00:54:17,525 --> 00:54:20,483
Now go back to your chariot races.
902
00:54:22,942 --> 00:54:25,192
Why talk when you can fly.
903
00:54:49,775 --> 00:54:51,400
A walk in the park!
904
00:54:53,900 --> 00:54:55,192
In a few days,
905
00:54:55,358 --> 00:54:57,025
I shall be master of China.
906
00:54:58,108 --> 00:55:02,233
I almost envy you,
getting a first taste of Rome's power.
907
00:55:02,858 --> 00:55:05,108
Veni, vidi, vici.
908
00:55:06,150 --> 00:55:08,358
Caesar, you spoil me.
909
00:55:08,525 --> 00:55:10,317
I've got it word for word.
910
00:55:10,483 --> 00:55:12,900
- Awkward. This is for dinner?
- Yes.
911
00:55:13,067 --> 00:55:14,817
- No sense of hospitality.
- No.
912
00:55:15,983 --> 00:55:17,733
And Antivirus? Not here?
913
00:55:18,108 --> 00:55:19,108
He's sleeping.
914
00:55:19,275 --> 00:55:20,275
Sleeping?
915
00:55:20,358 --> 00:55:21,358
I'm here, Caesar.
916
00:55:21,442 --> 00:55:23,650
- Yes, but it's not the same.
- Not at all.
917
00:55:25,442 --> 00:55:27,942
You have one last kingdom to conquer.
918
00:55:28,108 --> 00:55:29,108
The trickiest.
919
00:55:30,358 --> 00:55:32,233
Our victories echo around the land.
920
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,108
And the Ku Koos never give up.
921
00:55:34,275 --> 00:55:37,067
Fine. Let's see
who's the biggest Ku Koo.
922
00:55:39,150 --> 00:55:42,067
Not laughing.
King So Ku Koo passed this winter.
923
00:55:42,858 --> 00:55:45,608
His son and heir,
Prince of Ku Koo, is 20
924
00:55:45,775 --> 00:55:48,525
and wears a mask
to hide a terrible malformation.
925
00:55:48,692 --> 00:55:50,358
The man in the bamboo mask.
926
00:55:50,858 --> 00:55:51,692
A death
927
00:55:51,858 --> 00:55:55,317
and taking a drubbing from Caesar.
Bad year for the Ku Koos.
928
00:55:56,483 --> 00:55:57,692
By the way...
929
00:55:58,983 --> 00:56:00,525
you seem a bit cuckoo.
930
00:56:01,192 --> 00:56:03,525
No, I'm a Quin. No relation.
931
00:56:03,692 --> 00:56:04,692
I mean...
932
00:56:07,608 --> 00:56:09,025
you're totally cuckoo, right?
933
00:56:15,608 --> 00:56:20,150
Why would you want my help
in ousting you from your own kingdom?
934
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:22,192
What do you stand to gain,
935
00:56:22,358 --> 00:56:24,358
Deng Tsin Quin?
936
00:56:25,650 --> 00:56:27,817
You plan to give me a Caesarian
937
00:56:27,983 --> 00:56:29,900
after I conquer all the kingdoms?
938
00:56:30,317 --> 00:56:31,317
No.
939
00:56:31,775 --> 00:56:33,025
I'd never do that.
940
00:56:33,525 --> 00:56:34,525
Really?
941
00:56:35,983 --> 00:56:36,983
I would.
942
00:56:37,733 --> 00:56:39,108
At the drop of a hat!
943
00:56:40,650 --> 00:56:41,650
Good one!
944
00:56:43,650 --> 00:56:45,358
Tell me, O Caesar,
945
00:56:46,067 --> 00:56:48,025
did you know that Queen Cleopatra
946
00:56:48,192 --> 00:56:49,733
is highly respected in China?
947
00:56:50,525 --> 00:56:51,525
That's true.
948
00:56:51,608 --> 00:56:54,817
She's done so much
for the conservation of pandas that...
949
00:56:55,442 --> 00:56:57,567
What's she like in real life? Cool?
950
00:57:12,608 --> 00:57:14,150
Home at last.
951
00:57:15,525 --> 00:57:18,400
Can you smell the bamboo,
eucalyptus and ginger?
952
00:57:19,900 --> 00:57:21,983
Don't bother. They have no idea.
953
00:57:22,442 --> 00:57:24,025
I smell them, though.
954
00:57:24,858 --> 00:57:25,900
What sweet scent!
955
00:57:26,442 --> 00:57:27,442
Titanix,
956
00:57:27,608 --> 00:57:29,608
you'll head straight back to Egypt?
957
00:57:29,775 --> 00:57:32,358
No, straight on
till I'm back where I started,
958
00:57:32,525 --> 00:57:34,067
to prove the earth's round.
959
00:58:04,608 --> 00:58:06,650
Didn't I promise you'd be back?
960
00:58:12,233 --> 00:58:14,858
Miss Tik, how will we find
your master here?
961
00:58:15,025 --> 00:58:16,317
He will find us.
962
00:58:34,442 --> 00:58:36,525
- What was the message?
- Nothing.
963
00:58:37,692 --> 00:58:39,150
The bald guy's a friend?
964
00:58:40,608 --> 00:58:42,650
Why not tell me if it's nothing?
965
00:58:44,567 --> 00:58:48,275
Master Sill Lee will come to the inn
where we're staying.
966
00:58:49,442 --> 00:58:51,733
Why all the mystery?
967
00:58:51,900 --> 00:58:53,275
I've lost my appetite now!
968
00:58:56,108 --> 00:58:57,692
He's never like that.
969
00:58:59,150 --> 00:59:03,108
Could be the fatigue,
time difference and culture shock.
970
00:59:03,567 --> 00:59:05,150
Can we talk honestly?
971
00:59:05,775 --> 00:59:09,192
We're hardly bosom buddies.
I hate you, and it feels mutual.
972
00:59:10,442 --> 00:59:12,692
But it's really tense between you two.
973
00:59:12,942 --> 00:59:14,650
The tension's getting to us all.
974
00:59:15,358 --> 00:59:16,650
- It is?
- Yes.
975
00:59:17,567 --> 00:59:19,525
I have an idea for you both
976
00:59:20,025 --> 00:59:23,067
and honestly
it will do you the world of good.
977
00:59:25,733 --> 00:59:27,650
Obelix, we need to talk.
978
00:59:28,192 --> 00:59:29,317
I'm all ears.
979
00:59:29,483 --> 00:59:33,233
You've noticed the Princess and I
have a real good thing going?
980
00:59:35,192 --> 00:59:36,192
For sure.
981
00:59:37,858 --> 00:59:40,067
I think it would be simpler...
982
00:59:40,775 --> 00:59:42,942
if she moved to our village.
983
00:59:43,108 --> 00:59:44,108
All right.
984
00:59:45,025 --> 00:59:46,525
You and I are...
985
00:59:46,942 --> 00:59:48,775
We've lived together for ages.
986
00:59:49,317 --> 00:59:51,317
We never said it was for life.
987
00:59:52,525 --> 00:59:53,942
Seeing as, originally,
988
00:59:54,275 --> 00:59:56,108
it was my parents' hut...
989
01:00:00,150 --> 01:00:01,900
You'd like me to move out?
990
01:00:02,900 --> 01:00:03,900
Yes.
991
01:00:08,067 --> 01:00:09,525
What a relief!
992
01:00:09,692 --> 01:00:12,983
I want to move out
and had no idea how to tell you.
993
01:00:13,608 --> 01:00:14,608
Really?
994
01:00:17,108 --> 01:00:18,400
I'm in love, too.
995
01:00:19,942 --> 01:00:20,983
You're in love?
996
01:00:21,817 --> 01:00:23,442
Beautiful Miss Tik.
997
01:00:26,775 --> 01:00:27,775
Miss Tik?
998
01:00:28,525 --> 01:00:29,858
Our Miss Tik?
999
01:00:30,317 --> 01:00:31,317
Seriously?
1000
01:00:33,900 --> 01:00:35,233
What's so funny?
1001
01:00:36,150 --> 01:00:37,317
I'm just surprised.
1002
01:00:37,483 --> 01:00:38,650
By me falling in love?
1003
01:00:39,358 --> 01:00:40,525
Come on, Oby...
1004
01:00:40,692 --> 01:00:41,900
Don't Oby me.
1005
01:00:42,150 --> 01:00:43,150
No more Oby!
1006
01:00:44,817 --> 01:00:45,817
What's funny?
1007
01:00:45,900 --> 01:00:47,317
I've no right to love?
1008
01:00:47,817 --> 01:00:49,025
No rights at all!
1009
01:00:49,192 --> 01:00:50,983
Nonsense! It's all about you.
1010
01:00:51,150 --> 01:00:52,150
It is not!
1011
01:00:52,275 --> 01:00:53,275
It is!
1012
01:00:54,650 --> 01:00:56,108
No magic potion for Obelix.
1013
01:00:56,275 --> 01:00:57,442
No love for Obelix!
1014
01:00:57,608 --> 01:01:00,567
Poor Obelix!
He can't have any magic potion.
1015
01:01:01,358 --> 01:01:02,358
Poor Obelix!
1016
01:01:02,442 --> 01:01:03,650
Now I'm not allowed
1017
01:01:03,817 --> 01:01:07,067
to roast my wild boar
in my own hut!
1018
01:01:07,650 --> 01:01:10,442
Sorry, not my hut.
Asterix's parents' hut!
1019
01:01:10,608 --> 01:01:11,317
Correct!
1020
01:01:11,483 --> 01:01:13,442
And he wants me to eat fruit and veg!
1021
01:01:13,608 --> 01:01:15,900
Why should we eat fruit and veg?
1022
01:01:16,067 --> 01:01:17,150
For your sake!
1023
01:01:17,483 --> 01:01:18,483
Your health!
1024
01:01:18,567 --> 01:01:20,567
Don't say the word! Don't say it!
1025
01:01:20,733 --> 01:01:21,983
Because you're fat!
1026
01:01:24,442 --> 01:01:26,650
I am curvaceous!
1027
01:01:27,483 --> 01:01:28,650
But at least I'm...
1028
01:01:29,108 --> 01:01:30,275
strong.
1029
01:01:30,442 --> 01:01:32,317
There we go. Thank you!
1030
01:01:32,483 --> 01:01:35,275
You think it's easy
always being weaker?
1031
01:01:35,692 --> 01:01:37,025
Dependent on a flask!
1032
01:01:37,192 --> 01:01:38,442
Serves you right!
1033
01:01:38,858 --> 01:01:40,067
There, I said it!
1034
01:01:41,900 --> 01:01:44,442
Needles work well. Release tensions.
1035
01:01:46,150 --> 01:01:48,192
Speak freely.
1036
01:02:00,525 --> 01:02:02,025
- Romans!
- No, Obelix.
1037
01:02:02,442 --> 01:02:03,442
What now?
1038
01:02:03,608 --> 01:02:05,775
We protect the princess's identity.
1039
01:02:06,900 --> 01:02:08,400
What brings Caesar to China?
1040
01:02:08,733 --> 01:02:11,525
The traitor Deng Tsin Quin
has sold us out.
1041
01:02:13,942 --> 01:02:15,442
News flash!
1042
01:02:16,192 --> 01:02:17,400
People of China,
1043
01:02:17,733 --> 01:02:20,192
Prince Deng Tsin Quin
and Julius Caesar
1044
01:02:20,358 --> 01:02:22,733
are delighted to announce
the public execution
1045
01:02:22,900 --> 01:02:24,150
of the ex-Empress.
1046
01:02:25,233 --> 01:02:28,733
Beheading will take place
in seven days at sunset.
1047
01:02:29,942 --> 01:02:33,817
Fries will be stirred.
Book early to avoid disappointment.
1048
01:02:33,983 --> 01:02:34,983
Nobody told me.
1049
01:02:35,025 --> 01:02:36,733
By papyrus?
You're not in the group?
1050
01:02:36,900 --> 01:02:38,650
I never am!
1051
01:02:38,817 --> 01:02:40,650
I am Princess Sa See!
1052
01:02:40,817 --> 01:02:42,983
Nobody harms
the daughter of the heavens,
1053
01:02:43,150 --> 01:02:45,567
her majesty the Empress, my mother!
1054
01:02:45,733 --> 01:02:46,733
Arrest her!
1055
01:02:53,817 --> 01:02:54,817
Hey, doggie.
1056
01:02:55,525 --> 01:02:56,317
Bring it on.
1057
01:02:56,483 --> 01:02:59,692
Anyone who touches a single hair
of my future wife
1058
01:02:59,858 --> 01:03:02,150
must prepare for a world of pain.
1059
01:03:03,858 --> 01:03:04,858
I said that?
1060
01:03:11,692 --> 01:03:13,858
Hold on, timeout. Pause it.
1061
01:03:14,025 --> 01:03:16,650
Just a second, I'll be right back.
1062
01:03:17,900 --> 01:03:19,108
You're kidding me.
1063
01:03:21,567 --> 01:03:22,692
You good?
1064
01:03:26,650 --> 01:03:27,650
We can start?
1065
01:03:28,067 --> 01:03:28,900
Toilet break.
1066
01:03:29,067 --> 01:03:29,817
Sure.
1067
01:03:29,983 --> 01:03:31,108
Not buying it.
1068
01:04:01,400 --> 01:04:02,400
Wring!
1069
01:04:25,775 --> 01:04:26,775
How about that.
1070
01:04:32,442 --> 01:04:35,108
The acupuncturist prescribed me
two days' rest.
1071
01:04:35,275 --> 01:04:36,567
For what we get paid...
1072
01:04:38,358 --> 01:04:39,692
Act like we never met?
1073
01:04:39,858 --> 01:04:40,858
We never met.
1074
01:05:36,150 --> 01:05:38,358
Say, he just flew off my fist.
1075
01:05:38,525 --> 01:05:39,525
Yeah, I saw that.
1076
01:05:39,692 --> 01:05:41,567
Let's face it, no one beats you.
1077
01:05:42,483 --> 01:05:43,692
What's this?
1078
01:05:46,900 --> 01:05:47,942
Insane! So tight.
1079
01:05:48,108 --> 01:05:49,817
Come on, Princess, it's not safe.
1080
01:05:49,983 --> 01:05:52,067
"Come on, Princess, it's not safe."
1081
01:05:53,775 --> 01:05:54,858
A problem?
1082
01:05:55,025 --> 01:05:56,025
Maybe.
1083
01:05:56,942 --> 01:05:57,983
Potion's worn off?
1084
01:05:58,442 --> 01:06:00,108
Maybe. Try me, you'll see.
1085
01:06:01,442 --> 01:06:02,442
We'll talk later.
1086
01:06:03,233 --> 01:06:04,358
Ready when you are.
1087
01:06:23,358 --> 01:06:24,358
Halt!
1088
01:06:29,317 --> 01:06:31,067
THE ORIGINAL 2CV
1089
01:06:36,442 --> 01:06:38,067
SOAPS by CLEO
1090
01:06:40,733 --> 01:06:42,317
Who whistled?
1091
01:06:53,317 --> 01:06:54,400
I go off to war.
1092
01:06:55,358 --> 01:06:57,317
I risk my life and nothing from her.
1093
01:06:57,900 --> 01:06:59,442
No messages, no news.
1094
01:06:59,775 --> 01:07:01,358
No papyrus, no pigeons.
1095
01:07:01,733 --> 01:07:03,400
Time to snap out of it!
1096
01:07:03,650 --> 01:07:06,150
We were the intrepid, conquering hero.
1097
01:07:06,317 --> 01:07:07,775
We've gone a bit flat.
1098
01:07:07,942 --> 01:07:08,942
He's right.
1099
01:07:09,108 --> 01:07:10,317
You messaged her?
1100
01:07:10,483 --> 01:07:13,275
No, we said no messages.
We play it cool.
1101
01:07:13,442 --> 01:07:16,233
We do nothing. Let her stew like beef.
1102
01:07:16,400 --> 01:07:18,358
Butt out, cupcake!
1103
01:07:18,817 --> 01:07:20,317
Come again, sentry?
1104
01:07:20,608 --> 01:07:23,608
Risklus! An aquarium,
with water on the brain!
1105
01:07:23,775 --> 01:07:26,858
Two-bit Antivirus!
You're not fit to shine his sandals.
1106
01:07:27,025 --> 01:07:28,608
Shut your trap!
1107
01:07:32,150 --> 01:07:33,942
Who wears the toga at home?
1108
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:35,400
Who's the boss?
1109
01:07:35,942 --> 01:07:36,942
I am.
1110
01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:38,650
Anyone hear that?
1111
01:07:39,108 --> 01:07:40,608
Who's the boss?
1112
01:07:42,025 --> 01:07:43,442
- I am.
- There you are!
1113
01:07:43,608 --> 01:07:45,358
You're back. Julius Caesar!
1114
01:07:45,525 --> 01:07:47,025
Our champion! Number one!
1115
01:07:48,525 --> 01:07:49,608
The only message is,
1116
01:07:49,775 --> 01:07:52,775
"Take your trunks and stuff,
and go home to Egypt!
1117
01:07:52,942 --> 01:07:55,650
"Walking straight or sideways,
whatever, just go!"
1118
01:07:59,567 --> 01:08:00,900
You're right. Scribe!
1119
01:08:12,400 --> 01:08:13,442
Better!
1120
01:08:13,858 --> 01:08:17,275
I want my palace in Rome
empty of sarcophagi and bandages.
1121
01:08:18,317 --> 01:08:21,317
As of today,
you know who wears the toga at home.
1122
01:08:22,775 --> 01:08:23,775
Ave, me!
1123
01:08:24,108 --> 01:08:27,775
There, that's big-time Caesar.
Masterful!
1124
01:08:27,942 --> 01:08:29,567
The Queen of Egypt?
1125
01:08:29,733 --> 01:08:31,650
Queen of Nitwits more like!
1126
01:08:32,733 --> 01:08:34,400
They're not singing anymore...
1127
01:08:34,567 --> 01:08:37,192
They're not singing, the Egyptians!
1128
01:08:37,608 --> 01:08:39,233
- Send.
- Yes!
1129
01:08:43,275 --> 01:08:44,483
Pigeon!
1130
01:08:47,858 --> 01:08:48,983
A bunny!
1131
01:08:50,067 --> 01:08:51,483
It's a bunny.
1132
01:08:51,650 --> 01:08:52,650
Scary!
1133
01:08:52,983 --> 01:08:54,233
A raccoon!
1134
01:08:58,317 --> 01:08:59,317
A goat!
1135
01:09:00,067 --> 01:09:01,233
A billy goat.
1136
01:09:07,317 --> 01:09:09,025
Come on, sweetie, let's go.
1137
01:09:18,192 --> 01:09:19,275
From Cleopatra.
1138
01:09:19,442 --> 01:09:20,442
Already?
1139
01:09:21,900 --> 01:09:22,900
Read it.
1140
01:09:34,858 --> 01:09:36,150
Don't understand a word.
1141
01:09:36,317 --> 01:09:37,317
I don't understand.
1142
01:09:39,275 --> 01:09:40,900
"I wanted to apologise.
1143
01:09:41,858 --> 01:09:43,025
"For my behaviour.
1144
01:09:43,192 --> 01:09:44,400
"I went too far."
1145
01:09:44,567 --> 01:09:45,567
For sure.
1146
01:09:46,733 --> 01:09:50,608
"Four months apart
and I dream of us being reunited.
1147
01:09:51,233 --> 01:09:53,858
"Waiting for you in Rome.
Come back soon.
1148
01:09:55,058 --> 01:09:56,350
"Your loving Cleo."
1149
01:09:58,058 --> 01:09:59,433
Stop the pigeon!
1150
01:09:59,933 --> 01:10:00,975
Cancel the pigeon!
1151
01:10:01,142 --> 01:10:02,767
- Fast!
- We can't cancel it.
1152
01:10:02,933 --> 01:10:04,183
Sent is sent.
1153
01:10:04,558 --> 01:10:05,558
I beat him?
1154
01:10:05,642 --> 01:10:06,975
Everybody out!
1155
01:10:12,100 --> 01:10:13,267
I said everybody.
1156
01:11:31,225 --> 01:11:33,058
Hungry? There's lots of fruit.
1157
01:11:33,225 --> 01:11:34,267
- Hands off.
- What?
1158
01:11:34,433 --> 01:11:35,725
They're offerings.
1159
01:11:36,392 --> 01:11:37,767
Sorry. I didn't...
1160
01:11:45,725 --> 01:11:46,725
Hold on.
1161
01:11:46,808 --> 01:11:48,725
Move along. Have a good evening.
1162
01:11:49,267 --> 01:11:50,308
Good luck.
1163
01:11:51,058 --> 01:11:52,183
Just a beggar.
1164
01:11:57,392 --> 01:11:58,392
Master Sill Lee.
1165
01:11:59,725 --> 01:12:00,725
Sorry.
1166
01:12:01,683 --> 01:12:04,350
Profuse apologies, Mr Sill Lee.
I thought...
1167
01:12:04,767 --> 01:12:08,058
Master Sill Lee is a hermit
who devotes his life to meditation.
1168
01:12:08,225 --> 01:12:09,933
He took a vow of absolute poverty.
1169
01:12:11,183 --> 01:12:13,683
Bravo for the oath. That blows my mind.
1170
01:12:13,850 --> 01:12:15,017
It's beyond me.
1171
01:12:15,183 --> 01:12:18,225
In that case,
allow me to relieve you of the money.
1172
01:12:18,392 --> 01:12:20,850
Try to take back your coin,
1173
01:12:21,308 --> 01:12:22,725
little grasshopper.
1174
01:12:27,183 --> 01:12:28,892
It's too easy. You're blind.
1175
01:12:29,058 --> 01:12:32,308
Never assume a man cannot see
because he's...
1176
01:12:34,308 --> 01:12:35,933
You saw that coming?
1177
01:12:37,683 --> 01:12:39,183
There we are!
1178
01:12:39,767 --> 01:12:40,975
It was his game.
1179
01:12:41,142 --> 01:12:42,142
Leave him.
1180
01:12:42,308 --> 01:12:43,350
Little grasshopper!
1181
01:12:43,808 --> 01:12:45,517
Sir, over here.
1182
01:12:46,725 --> 01:12:48,517
You are as swift as a cobra.
1183
01:12:48,683 --> 01:12:49,683
Yup, Sill Lee.
1184
01:12:49,767 --> 01:12:52,183
Can we move on to important matters?
1185
01:12:58,392 --> 01:12:59,600
By Toutatis!
1186
01:13:00,017 --> 01:13:03,808
Deng Tsin Quin spreads terror
across the whole country.
1187
01:13:04,308 --> 01:13:05,975
Do not touch.
1188
01:13:06,933 --> 01:13:07,933
Hard to resist.
1189
01:13:08,350 --> 01:13:09,433
I see
1190
01:13:09,642 --> 01:13:11,558
an old abandoned temple.
1191
01:13:12,017 --> 01:13:13,600
The temple in Xuan.
1192
01:13:14,058 --> 01:13:17,642
Her majesty the Empress
is held prisoner.
1193
01:13:19,475 --> 01:13:20,850
After releasing her,
1194
01:13:21,017 --> 01:13:23,933
you must go with all speed
1195
01:13:24,100 --> 01:13:25,683
to the Ku Koos' palace,
1196
01:13:25,850 --> 01:13:30,017
before Caesar seizes the final kingdom.
1197
01:13:30,600 --> 01:13:32,683
You will encounter
1198
01:13:33,308 --> 01:13:34,392
the hideous...
1199
01:13:34,850 --> 01:13:36,392
the unsightly...
1200
01:13:36,558 --> 01:13:40,517
the monstrous crown prince,
1201
01:13:40,683 --> 01:13:41,892
Prince of Ku Koo,
1202
01:13:42,058 --> 01:13:45,225
the man in the bamboo mask.
1203
01:13:47,267 --> 01:13:48,975
Don't worry, it's fake.
1204
01:13:49,433 --> 01:13:50,683
Good luck!
1205
01:13:51,475 --> 01:13:53,892
We must go our separate ways.
1206
01:13:54,475 --> 01:13:55,808
Grand master,
1207
01:13:56,308 --> 01:13:57,975
are you done with the ball?
1208
01:13:59,600 --> 01:14:00,600
Yes.
1209
01:14:04,850 --> 01:14:06,142
Holy cow!
1210
01:14:09,017 --> 01:14:10,892
There you are. You broke it.
1211
01:14:11,058 --> 01:14:12,642
He said do not touch.
1212
01:14:14,683 --> 01:14:15,725
He's right.
1213
01:14:16,642 --> 01:14:18,475
I said do not touch!
1214
01:14:24,517 --> 01:14:25,975
Why'd you touch it?
1215
01:14:31,558 --> 01:14:34,100
Seen Princess Sa See?
With two warriors...
1216
01:14:38,267 --> 01:14:39,600
Princess Sa See?
1217
01:14:39,767 --> 01:14:43,017
Seen her?
With two superhuman foreign warriors.
1218
01:14:43,600 --> 01:14:44,600
And a dog.
1219
01:14:59,892 --> 01:15:02,350
You're waiting for an ale?
Bring them in!
1220
01:15:03,183 --> 01:15:04,808
- Asterix!
- What? Run!
1221
01:15:05,308 --> 01:15:06,558
- Asterix!
- What?
1222
01:15:06,725 --> 01:15:08,100
Why are we running?
1223
01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:10,267
- So I don't have to fight.
- Why?
1224
01:15:10,433 --> 01:15:12,308
No more potion with the Princess.
1225
01:15:12,475 --> 01:15:14,392
I'm sick of looking stupid.
1226
01:15:14,892 --> 01:15:16,933
Hurry! I bagged a rickshaw.
1227
01:15:17,100 --> 01:15:18,183
Come on!
1228
01:15:19,975 --> 01:15:20,975
Fast!
1229
01:15:21,725 --> 01:15:22,767
Faster!
1230
01:15:27,308 --> 01:15:28,683
He does this on purpose.
1231
01:16:21,600 --> 01:16:22,683
All right.
1232
01:16:28,392 --> 01:16:31,142
One more ball and it's curtains for us.
1233
01:16:32,183 --> 01:16:33,392
So, our last night...
1234
01:16:34,308 --> 01:16:35,600
I was thinking...
1235
01:16:36,308 --> 01:16:38,308
maybe as a memento...
1236
01:16:38,475 --> 01:16:39,475
Majesty!
1237
01:16:41,017 --> 01:16:42,100
Gave me a fright!
1238
01:16:42,267 --> 01:16:43,683
We'll get you out.
1239
01:16:44,142 --> 01:16:45,142
Who's that?
1240
01:16:47,058 --> 01:16:48,308
Stand back.
1241
01:16:59,350 --> 01:17:00,350
All good?
1242
01:17:08,433 --> 01:17:09,433
Sorry.
1243
01:17:22,100 --> 01:17:23,100
Rise.
1244
01:17:24,683 --> 01:17:25,475
Let's go.
1245
01:17:25,642 --> 01:17:26,975
Jump. We'll catch you.
1246
01:17:27,142 --> 01:17:28,767
What? Jump?
1247
01:17:28,933 --> 01:17:30,433
I can't leave right now!
1248
01:17:30,725 --> 01:17:32,767
Abandon a negotiation? Not my style!
1249
01:17:33,392 --> 01:17:35,058
In two balls, the guard caves.
1250
01:17:35,225 --> 01:17:37,850
Go ahead without me. I'll catch you up.
1251
01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:39,600
Are you sure?
1252
01:17:40,267 --> 01:17:41,267
Yes.
1253
01:17:42,225 --> 01:17:43,267
As you wish.
1254
01:17:46,683 --> 01:17:47,683
Take care.
1255
01:17:48,642 --> 01:17:49,850
And keep your head.
1256
01:17:52,142 --> 01:17:53,558
You're afraid for me.
1257
01:17:54,850 --> 01:17:58,767
You see, you're even more beautiful
smiling than in a temper.
1258
01:18:06,683 --> 01:18:08,308
She's so impressive!
1259
01:18:09,767 --> 01:18:10,850
Thank you.
1260
01:18:12,308 --> 01:18:13,308
Mother!
1261
01:18:14,183 --> 01:18:15,808
What joy to see you again.
1262
01:18:26,017 --> 01:18:26,642
Alert!
1263
01:18:26,808 --> 01:18:27,433
Run!
1264
01:18:27,600 --> 01:18:28,600
They've escaped!
1265
01:18:39,433 --> 01:18:40,892
Which way now? Which way?
1266
01:18:42,600 --> 01:18:43,600
Wait.
1267
01:18:44,517 --> 01:18:46,475
Good. We lost them.
1268
01:18:46,642 --> 01:18:48,850
Friends from Gaul.
Thanks for your help.
1269
01:18:49,017 --> 01:18:50,808
Our pleasure, Your Majesty.
1270
01:18:51,683 --> 01:18:53,767
Seeing as no one introduces me...
1271
01:18:55,517 --> 01:18:56,725
Bankruptis.
1272
01:18:56,892 --> 01:18:59,350
We already met at the market.
1273
01:19:00,058 --> 01:19:01,100
That's right.
1274
01:19:01,892 --> 01:19:03,558
Life's full of surprises.
1275
01:19:05,975 --> 01:19:08,100
Attention issues for the Empress.
1276
01:19:08,933 --> 01:19:12,058
Take the Gauls to the Ku Koos.
Secure their support.
1277
01:19:12,225 --> 01:19:15,558
Meanwhile
I'll rally our army and followers.
1278
01:19:16,433 --> 01:19:17,600
Miss Tik, come with me.
1279
01:19:18,308 --> 01:19:19,975
I shall honour you, Mother.
1280
01:19:20,142 --> 01:19:21,183
You'll be proud of me.
1281
01:19:23,100 --> 01:19:24,767
I'm already proud of you.
1282
01:19:26,350 --> 01:19:27,600
Let's go, Miss Tik.
1283
01:19:45,142 --> 01:19:46,475
This will end badly.
1284
01:20:09,392 --> 01:20:11,350
Miss Tik has fallen for Obelix.
1285
01:20:13,392 --> 01:20:14,392
Obelix, too.
1286
01:20:17,017 --> 01:20:20,017
I don't like all the falling-for
in this adventure.
1287
01:20:21,100 --> 01:20:22,142
So let's go.
1288
01:20:23,600 --> 01:20:25,142
Obelix, come on.
1289
01:20:33,558 --> 01:20:36,183
- What's the wine made from?
- Rice.
1290
01:20:37,267 --> 01:20:39,433
Refinement is not your strong suit.
1291
01:20:44,100 --> 01:20:46,183
Got a kick but not all bad.
1292
01:20:47,058 --> 01:20:48,100
It's relaxing.
1293
01:20:48,267 --> 01:20:49,267
Rice wine.
1294
01:20:49,933 --> 01:20:53,225
Maybe take a few amphorae
for fight nights with Wifey.
1295
01:20:55,642 --> 01:20:56,683
You see...
1296
01:20:56,850 --> 01:20:58,475
At times like this...
1297
01:21:01,850 --> 01:21:03,017
I miss her.
1298
01:21:03,725 --> 01:21:05,100
What's with the music?
1299
01:21:05,267 --> 01:21:06,100
A full band?
1300
01:21:06,267 --> 01:21:07,642
Four and a singer.
1301
01:21:08,100 --> 01:21:09,892
- You take them everywhere?
- Yes.
1302
01:21:10,058 --> 01:21:11,142
It's practical.
1303
01:21:12,142 --> 01:21:14,267
I always have my favourite music.
1304
01:21:15,933 --> 01:21:16,933
Know it?
1305
01:21:17,058 --> 01:21:18,433
Sure, obviously.
1306
01:21:19,183 --> 01:21:21,433
Now that's what I call music.
1307
01:21:22,600 --> 01:21:24,767
None of your ching-chong nonsense.
1308
01:21:38,600 --> 01:21:39,600
Amore!
1309
01:21:40,642 --> 01:21:42,017
What are you doing?
1310
01:21:43,600 --> 01:21:45,933
- I saw my wife.
- I'm nobody's wife.
1311
01:21:47,808 --> 01:21:48,642
Know what?
1312
01:21:48,808 --> 01:21:51,308
Your libation brought back the urge.
1313
01:21:53,975 --> 01:21:56,933
I shall become
the next Emperor of China.
1314
01:21:57,475 --> 01:21:58,475
Wow...
1315
01:21:58,558 --> 01:22:01,183
Mama Cleo will never get over it.
1316
01:22:02,017 --> 01:22:04,767
Tomorrow at dawn, we go full Ku Koo.
1317
01:22:22,183 --> 01:22:24,475
Slow down. Our exit's coming up.
1318
01:22:24,642 --> 01:22:25,850
Yes, next one.
1319
01:22:27,892 --> 01:22:29,975
Once more, thanks to Obelix,
1320
01:22:30,142 --> 01:22:33,975
our friends beat Caesar's army
to the palace of Prince Ku Koo,
1321
01:22:34,142 --> 01:22:35,975
the man in the bamboo mask.
1322
01:22:36,308 --> 01:22:37,392
Keep up.
1323
01:22:41,392 --> 01:22:42,558
I am To Fu.
1324
01:22:43,225 --> 01:22:46,308
Advisor to the prince regent, Ku Koo.
1325
01:22:46,808 --> 01:22:48,308
Can you prove
1326
01:22:49,017 --> 01:22:51,100
you really are Princess Sa See?
1327
01:22:52,308 --> 01:22:54,933
I give my word.
I am the Empress's daughter.
1328
01:22:55,308 --> 01:22:58,642
Sadly, your word is not enough.
1329
01:22:59,933 --> 01:23:01,600
You could be a spy.
1330
01:23:02,225 --> 01:23:03,350
In the pay
1331
01:23:03,517 --> 01:23:04,933
of Deng Tsin Quin!
1332
01:23:07,517 --> 01:23:08,517
The coin!
1333
01:23:14,267 --> 01:23:17,725
Will you now bow
before your Empress's daughter?
1334
01:23:19,767 --> 01:23:21,850
I apologise profusely, Princess Sa See.
1335
01:23:22,017 --> 01:23:23,642
We must be careful.
1336
01:23:24,433 --> 01:23:26,642
His Highness, the Prince...
1337
01:23:26,808 --> 01:23:27,808
of Ku Koo!
1338
01:23:40,183 --> 01:23:41,183
What the heck?
1339
01:23:42,017 --> 01:23:43,933
Don't turn your back. It's rude!
1340
01:23:44,100 --> 01:23:45,225
In his house.
1341
01:24:07,683 --> 01:24:08,683
Princess Sa See,
1342
01:24:08,808 --> 01:24:11,267
Prince of Ku Koo, with my men,
at your service.
1343
01:24:11,433 --> 01:24:13,975
We support your mother, our Empress.
1344
01:24:15,725 --> 01:24:16,725
Thanks.
1345
01:24:17,350 --> 01:24:18,433
Sorry, I'm lost for...
1346
01:24:18,892 --> 01:24:21,308
All my fault.
My cursed mane frightens you.
1347
01:24:22,100 --> 01:24:23,892
On the contrary, it suits you.
1348
01:24:25,558 --> 01:24:26,933
Nobody ever said that.
1349
01:24:27,100 --> 01:24:28,892
I never wanted to say it.
1350
01:24:44,350 --> 01:24:46,433
That's love at first look.
1351
01:24:46,600 --> 01:24:48,933
Whole weeks of work for nothing.
1352
01:24:52,308 --> 01:24:53,683
Back to the friend zone.
1353
01:24:55,058 --> 01:24:56,100
Let's go.
1354
01:24:57,558 --> 01:24:59,267
We have a country to save.
1355
01:25:13,100 --> 01:25:15,558
Gotta be cuckoo
to build a palace in a hollow.
1356
01:25:15,725 --> 01:25:16,892
No way out.
1357
01:25:17,392 --> 01:25:19,642
Cornered by Caesar. It will be brief.
1358
01:25:23,350 --> 01:25:24,600
Here we go again.
1359
01:25:24,767 --> 01:25:25,933
Blah-blah time.
1360
01:25:37,767 --> 01:25:39,600
I am Princess Sa See.
1361
01:25:39,767 --> 01:25:42,017
Submit to the sole Empress of China.
1362
01:25:44,142 --> 01:25:45,183
Sa See darling,
1363
01:25:45,350 --> 01:25:46,850
we can marry at last.
1364
01:25:47,017 --> 01:25:50,350
Don't bet on it.
You'll regret your acts, Deng Tsin Quin.
1365
01:25:51,267 --> 01:25:54,058
- She's no pushover.
- Can't lie, sparks aren't flying.
1366
01:25:54,225 --> 01:25:56,558
I have a question for you.
1367
01:25:57,808 --> 01:25:58,808
How many?
1368
01:25:59,392 --> 01:26:00,558
Ten thousand.
1369
01:26:00,725 --> 01:26:04,183
Because we are 80,000-strong!
1370
01:26:10,433 --> 01:26:13,517
That's experience for you.
Not boasting, I've never lost.
1371
01:26:13,683 --> 01:26:14,683
You're wonderful.
1372
01:26:14,808 --> 01:26:16,267
You miscounted, Princess.
1373
01:26:16,433 --> 01:26:17,933
Ten thousand plus two.
1374
01:26:18,100 --> 01:26:19,308
If you still need me.
1375
01:26:19,475 --> 01:26:20,558
Peek-a-boo, Julius!
1376
01:26:20,725 --> 01:26:21,850
It's us!
1377
01:26:22,017 --> 01:26:23,017
The crazies!
1378
01:26:23,142 --> 01:26:23,975
Not plus two.
1379
01:26:24,142 --> 01:26:25,225
Plus three!
1380
01:26:26,017 --> 01:26:27,475
The man in the bamboo mask.
1381
01:26:29,433 --> 01:26:30,267
Gross!
1382
01:26:30,433 --> 01:26:32,142
Poor guy's blond!
1383
01:26:32,308 --> 01:26:33,308
It's not too bad.
1384
01:26:33,392 --> 01:26:34,850
Not plus three. Plus four!
1385
01:26:35,600 --> 01:26:36,725
I'm the man
1386
01:26:37,517 --> 01:26:38,600
with feather feet!
1387
01:26:38,767 --> 01:26:39,892
What is this?
1388
01:26:46,433 --> 01:26:48,808
Why talk when you can run?
1389
01:27:01,267 --> 01:27:03,433
He didn't warm up. The chump!
1390
01:27:03,683 --> 01:27:05,225
- Did I say charge?
- No.
1391
01:27:08,167 --> 01:27:09,208
Substitute!
1392
01:27:13,333 --> 01:27:14,792
Antivirus!
1393
01:27:51,667 --> 01:27:53,542
Asterix, I'll have a drop.
1394
01:27:54,125 --> 01:27:55,167
Not enough for 4.
1395
01:27:55,500 --> 01:27:56,500
"Not enough for 4!"
1396
01:28:00,208 --> 01:28:01,500
The cheats!
1397
01:28:01,667 --> 01:28:02,667
Won't help them.
1398
01:28:04,292 --> 01:28:05,875
Charge!
1399
01:28:23,375 --> 01:28:24,375
Yes?
1400
01:28:24,917 --> 01:28:25,917
Of course.
1401
01:29:15,625 --> 01:29:16,625
Help me.
1402
01:29:17,125 --> 01:29:18,125
Pipe down.
1403
01:29:18,292 --> 01:29:19,500
You've got gall.
1404
01:29:19,833 --> 01:29:20,583
Gall...
1405
01:29:20,750 --> 01:29:21,750
Gaul!
1406
01:29:34,500 --> 01:29:35,875
Can I join in?
1407
01:29:36,375 --> 01:29:37,375
Yeah, sure.
1408
01:29:37,625 --> 01:29:38,625
Archers!
1409
01:29:39,375 --> 01:29:40,375
Prepare!
1410
01:29:40,875 --> 01:29:41,875
Draw!
1411
01:29:42,417 --> 01:29:43,417
Loose!
1412
01:29:44,875 --> 01:29:47,083
Deng Tsin Quin, Emperor of China!
1413
01:29:50,042 --> 01:29:51,042
Arrows!
1414
01:30:05,833 --> 01:30:07,042
You can't be serious.
1415
01:30:07,458 --> 01:30:08,500
Don't judge me.
1416
01:30:11,167 --> 01:30:12,167
I feel it.
1417
01:30:13,333 --> 01:30:14,792
I feel it rising.
1418
01:30:17,958 --> 01:30:19,083
It's insane!
1419
01:30:20,542 --> 01:30:21,542
That's it?
1420
01:30:25,333 --> 01:30:26,667
No way! It's a joke.
1421
01:30:36,667 --> 01:30:37,792
I smell victory.
1422
01:30:39,542 --> 01:30:40,750
A particular scent?
1423
01:30:42,000 --> 01:30:44,083
Do readers care for such details?
1424
01:30:44,250 --> 01:30:45,500
It sets the scene.
1425
01:30:47,333 --> 01:30:48,958
The scent of laurels.
1426
01:30:49,375 --> 01:30:50,417
Excellent!
1427
01:31:14,167 --> 01:31:14,875
Thanks.
1428
01:31:15,042 --> 01:31:16,125
You're welcome.
1429
01:31:19,542 --> 01:31:21,375
We fell out but I can help out.
1430
01:31:22,042 --> 01:31:22,792
Sure.
1431
01:31:22,958 --> 01:31:24,458
I'm on your side.
1432
01:31:25,500 --> 01:31:26,500
Sure.
1433
01:31:27,875 --> 01:31:29,417
You'll always be my chum.
1434
01:31:32,583 --> 01:31:33,583
Sure.
1435
01:31:34,750 --> 01:31:36,042
Sorry, Obelix.
1436
01:32:00,917 --> 01:32:01,917
Stop!
1437
01:32:16,583 --> 01:32:17,833
Before I die...
1438
01:32:19,250 --> 01:32:20,958
I must tell you, Princess...
1439
01:32:47,083 --> 01:32:48,083
Look!
1440
01:32:49,625 --> 01:32:51,375
Just when all seems lost,
1441
01:32:51,917 --> 01:32:53,583
the Empress arrives,
1442
01:32:53,750 --> 01:32:56,458
followed by her army and entire people.
1443
01:32:56,792 --> 01:32:58,083
They are all there,
1444
01:32:58,250 --> 01:33:01,708
marching across the middle kingdom
1445
01:33:01,875 --> 01:33:03,917
to the scene of the final battle.
1446
01:33:21,292 --> 01:33:23,125
- What on earth is this?
- Not sure.
1447
01:33:23,292 --> 01:33:25,708
Suddenly, I can't smell the laurels.
1448
01:33:26,250 --> 01:33:27,583
Pine boxes maybe.
1449
01:33:36,583 --> 01:33:38,083
I am Empress of China.
1450
01:33:38,250 --> 01:33:40,708
I order you
to leave my empire forthwith.
1451
01:33:41,792 --> 01:33:42,917
Never!
1452
01:33:43,417 --> 01:33:45,500
She has a temper.
Reminds me of someone.
1453
01:33:47,500 --> 01:33:48,625
Your Majesty!
1454
01:33:49,500 --> 01:33:51,750
Rather than ruin everything in anger,
1455
01:33:51,917 --> 01:33:54,500
perhaps we could envisage
a sort of alliance.
1456
01:33:54,875 --> 01:33:57,375
When the cloud conceals the sun,
1457
01:33:57,542 --> 01:33:59,833
my army will reduce you to dust.
1458
01:34:00,708 --> 01:34:01,875
What's that?
1459
01:34:02,417 --> 01:34:03,417
A local proverb?
1460
01:34:03,500 --> 01:34:06,125
No, it's literal. It's happening.
1461
01:34:11,833 --> 01:34:13,042
How many of you?
1462
01:34:13,208 --> 01:34:14,333
He's at it again.
1463
01:34:15,000 --> 01:34:16,000
One
1464
01:34:16,458 --> 01:34:17,458
million!
1465
01:34:20,333 --> 01:34:21,417
Game changer.
1466
01:34:23,167 --> 01:34:25,292
I'll be going. I'm not from here.
1467
01:34:25,458 --> 01:34:27,625
I'll be in Rome. Keep me posted.
1468
01:34:28,417 --> 01:34:29,500
Don't desert us.
1469
01:34:29,667 --> 01:34:31,042
There's a million of them.
1470
01:34:31,833 --> 01:34:33,042
It's not my war.
1471
01:34:38,625 --> 01:34:39,917
I can't go like this.
1472
01:34:43,042 --> 01:34:44,042
Rear up!
1473
01:34:55,583 --> 01:34:56,625
Got your message!
1474
01:34:56,792 --> 01:34:59,667
Say goodbye to my little pyramid!
Cleopatra
1475
01:35:01,167 --> 01:35:02,625
It's been a tough day.
1476
01:35:03,458 --> 01:35:04,458
A tough day.
1477
01:35:43,750 --> 01:35:45,167
That feels good.
1478
01:35:46,667 --> 01:35:48,667
Here we are, back in Gaul.
1479
01:35:49,167 --> 01:35:51,750
Not only
for our friends' customary banquet.
1480
01:35:52,458 --> 01:35:56,333
But also to celebrate Gaul and China.
1481
01:35:59,625 --> 01:36:02,292
And now the Empress will speak.
1482
01:36:04,333 --> 01:36:05,375
Valiant Gauls!
1483
01:36:06,542 --> 01:36:08,500
You have my eternal gratitude.
1484
01:36:09,083 --> 01:36:11,208
It was an honour, Your Majesty.
1485
01:36:11,875 --> 01:36:13,542
I insisted we come to help.
1486
01:36:15,042 --> 01:36:16,792
We made this long journey
1487
01:36:16,958 --> 01:36:18,833
to celebrate a beautiful alliance.
1488
01:36:27,625 --> 01:36:29,083
That's my cousin Remix.
1489
01:36:29,708 --> 01:36:31,500
A specialist in world music.
1490
01:36:32,333 --> 01:36:33,458
He's my cousin.
1491
01:36:33,625 --> 01:36:35,792
Mine. Not yours, mine!
1492
01:37:22,500 --> 01:37:24,917
We have a lot in common, you and I.
1493
01:37:25,083 --> 01:37:26,125
We're chiefs.
1494
01:37:26,292 --> 01:37:28,750
I always think
power isolates you from people.
1495
01:37:28,917 --> 01:37:30,417
Don't you agree?
1496
01:37:32,542 --> 01:37:34,333
And I'm not done.
1497
01:37:34,500 --> 01:37:36,667
And behind every great man
1498
01:37:36,833 --> 01:37:37,875
is a great woman.
1499
01:37:38,042 --> 01:37:40,958
Without Impedimenta, I'm nothing.
At home, she holds the shield.
1500
01:37:41,125 --> 01:37:43,708
I'm not disturbing you?
You're having a good day?
1501
01:37:45,167 --> 01:37:46,167
We'll talk at home.
1502
01:37:47,750 --> 01:37:48,750
Mimenta!
1503
01:37:49,292 --> 01:37:51,833
Excuse me, minor marital contretemps.
1504
01:37:55,500 --> 01:37:57,625
I thought he'd never leave.
1505
01:37:58,792 --> 01:38:01,917
You know, when you left the cell,
I kept my head...
1506
01:38:03,500 --> 01:38:04,583
However...
1507
01:38:05,167 --> 01:38:06,333
I lost my heart.
1508
01:38:07,125 --> 01:38:08,250
Now, now.
1509
01:38:08,750 --> 01:38:11,333
Well then, where's my little heart?
1510
01:38:13,958 --> 01:38:15,000
Bankruptis, look.
1511
01:38:15,500 --> 01:38:17,333
Uncle didn't nod off in prison.
1512
01:38:18,292 --> 01:38:19,333
Classy!
1513
01:38:26,208 --> 01:38:27,208
One more plate.
1514
01:38:27,292 --> 01:38:29,250
No, a dish. A big dish! Share?
1515
01:38:30,292 --> 01:38:31,292
I won't crack.
1516
01:38:31,333 --> 01:38:32,333
Silly me.
1517
01:38:33,625 --> 01:38:35,083
Still don't miss it?
1518
01:38:35,542 --> 01:38:36,917
Not at all.
1519
01:38:37,167 --> 01:38:38,333
Honestly...
1520
01:38:38,667 --> 01:38:39,792
the smell is vile.
1521
01:38:41,125 --> 01:38:43,000
There are still triggers, though.
1522
01:38:44,000 --> 01:38:46,208
Drink an ale and it becomes tricky.
1523
01:38:47,750 --> 01:38:48,750
Hi, Obelix.
1524
01:38:49,417 --> 01:38:50,417
Panacea.
1525
01:38:51,292 --> 01:38:52,292
I'm interrupting?
1526
01:38:53,208 --> 01:38:54,500
I can see I am.
1527
01:38:55,167 --> 01:38:56,292
You ignore me now.
1528
01:38:57,792 --> 01:38:58,917
Are the rumours true?
1529
01:38:59,292 --> 01:39:00,375
You and Miss Tik?
1530
01:39:01,417 --> 01:39:02,417
Seriously?
1531
01:39:02,458 --> 01:39:04,458
Long-distance relationships
don't work.
1532
01:39:04,625 --> 01:39:07,375
Honestly, her there, you here...
And I'm here.
1533
01:39:08,000 --> 01:39:10,667
Waiting for you for months,
worried sick,
1534
01:39:10,833 --> 01:39:12,250
and you fall in love?
1535
01:39:13,125 --> 01:39:14,250
Don't you love me?
1536
01:39:15,208 --> 01:39:16,542
Is that a yes or a no?
1537
01:39:16,875 --> 01:39:18,000
You wanted me.
1538
01:39:18,500 --> 01:39:19,625
Is it a yes or a no?
1539
01:39:20,000 --> 01:39:21,667
- I forget you?
- Say yes!
1540
01:39:21,833 --> 01:39:22,917
Panacea...
1541
01:39:24,083 --> 01:39:25,083
Don't bother.
1542
01:39:25,417 --> 01:39:28,333
You know the village
thrives on new adventures.
1543
01:39:29,625 --> 01:39:31,667
It's time for me to do the same.
1544
01:39:31,833 --> 01:39:32,833
Nothing personal.
1545
01:39:33,917 --> 01:39:34,917
Excuse me...
1546
01:39:35,750 --> 01:39:36,750
You're nuts.
1547
01:39:38,792 --> 01:39:39,792
But I'd...
1548
01:42:03,583 --> 01:42:04,750
Good, wasn't it?
1549
01:42:05,042 --> 01:42:06,792
Everyone had a great time.
1550
01:42:08,542 --> 01:42:09,750
Yes, a fine feast.
1551
01:42:12,658 --> 01:42:14,825
So Miss Tik has gone home?
1552
01:42:15,158 --> 01:42:16,783
Sure. It's a long ride.
1553
01:42:18,867 --> 01:42:20,408
She said I'm her true love.
1554
01:42:21,658 --> 01:42:22,658
Did she?
1555
01:42:23,367 --> 01:42:24,367
Wonderful.
1556
01:42:25,325 --> 01:42:26,408
Even so...
1557
01:42:26,992 --> 01:42:27,992
she didn't stay?
1558
01:42:28,075 --> 01:42:29,825
She'd have loved to but...
1559
01:42:30,283 --> 01:42:33,492
Too much work in China,
lots of responsibility at the palace.
1560
01:42:34,408 --> 01:42:36,242
But there's time, we'll meet again.
1561
01:42:36,575 --> 01:42:37,575
As grown-ups.
1562
01:42:38,533 --> 01:42:39,533
As grown-ups?
1563
01:42:39,783 --> 01:42:40,783
Yes.
1564
01:42:43,242 --> 01:42:44,867
Tired. I'm going to bed.
1565
01:42:50,450 --> 01:42:51,700
One for the road?
1566
01:42:52,075 --> 01:42:53,617
I wouldn't say no.
1567
01:43:03,158 --> 01:43:04,158
My chum!
1568
01:43:13,283 --> 01:43:14,658
You're strangling me!
1569
01:43:19,992 --> 01:43:20,992
THE END
1570
01:43:21,158 --> 01:43:23,533
For René Goscinny & Albert Uderzo
1571
01:44:22,992 --> 01:44:24,783
You don't want me to sing?
1572
01:44:29,325 --> 01:44:30,742
I'm gonna sing anyway
1573
01:44:32,908 --> 01:44:34,617
You don't want me to sing?
1574
01:44:36,408 --> 01:44:38,117
You don't want me to sing
1575
01:44:38,492 --> 01:44:39,617
The surprise!
1576
01:44:39,783 --> 01:44:41,367
- What surprise?
- Hold on.
1577
01:44:44,075 --> 01:44:46,867
So what is it?
My voice or just me?
1578
01:44:47,033 --> 01:44:49,450
So is it me or my voice?
1579
01:44:50,617 --> 01:44:53,408
So is my voice not right?
It's what you don't like?
1580
01:44:53,575 --> 01:44:55,200
Or is it just me?
1581
01:44:55,992 --> 01:44:58,658
Tell me what's wrong
Always something wrong
1582
01:44:59,992 --> 01:45:01,658
Don't do this, don't do that
1583
01:45:01,825 --> 01:45:04,492
Is it my lyrics or my voice
I don't get it
1584
01:45:04,658 --> 01:45:07,450
Don't call me paranoid
You're all against me
1585
01:45:32,492 --> 01:45:33,825
Caesar said,
1586
01:45:34,242 --> 01:45:36,325
"I want it gleaming
when I get back."
1587
01:45:37,075 --> 01:45:38,158
So buff!
1588
01:45:38,992 --> 01:45:40,200
Buff, buff, buff!
1589
01:45:42,658 --> 01:45:43,867
That's the spirit!
1590
01:45:47,158 --> 01:45:48,450
You keep Gaul.
1591
01:45:48,617 --> 01:45:50,575
I take China, rest of the world.
1592
01:45:50,742 --> 01:45:51,908
It'll go gangbusters.
1593
01:45:52,075 --> 01:45:54,242
Take it or leave it right now.
1594
01:45:54,742 --> 01:45:56,367
What might go gangbusters?
1595
01:45:56,533 --> 01:45:58,242
- I didn't say that.
- Sure you did.
1596
01:45:58,408 --> 01:46:00,033
Top-notch merchants like me,
1597
01:46:00,200 --> 01:46:02,825
we read your lips
even 5 km away.
1598
01:46:02,992 --> 01:46:04,783
- Why'd you say that?
- I didn't!
1599
01:46:04,950 --> 01:46:06,908
- You did.
- I'll lash out!
1600
01:46:09,242 --> 01:46:12,033
You know, duckie,
your Julius is no lost cause.
1601
01:46:12,200 --> 01:46:14,533
So just send him a message,
1602
01:46:14,700 --> 01:46:17,658
"I'd go above and beyond,
I'd dye my hair blond..."
1603
01:46:17,825 --> 01:46:20,367
It's in the bag.
The rascal will be back.
1604
01:46:21,408 --> 01:46:24,283
You're right.
Why did I ever flip my headdress?
1605
01:46:27,242 --> 01:46:30,033
Flat out.
You got a pigeon charger?
1606
01:46:30,658 --> 01:46:32,658
Sit tight, I'll find you one.
1607
01:46:33,950 --> 01:46:35,742
With an Egyptian connector!
1608
01:46:36,367 --> 01:46:37,367
Why Egyptian?
1609
01:46:49,242 --> 01:46:51,492
Are you done making a ruckus?
1610
01:46:52,075 --> 01:46:53,742
We're trying to sleep!
1611
01:46:59,367 --> 01:47:00,367
Sorry.
1612
01:47:04,575 --> 01:47:06,033
Goodnight!
1613
01:47:06,200 --> 01:47:08,325
Goodnight, little Gauls!
106621
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