Original subtitles

[keyboard clicking]

- Everybody has a secret.

My secret is for the past 50-odd days

stuck in this room,

when nobody's watching me, I watch videos like this.

- My name is Sophia Ghul. I'm 15 years old,

and two years ago

I was diagnosed with osteosarcoma,

which is a form of bone cancer,

and I never expected in a million years

that I'd be sitting here with cancer,

but, you know, that's how life goes.

Cancer just takes everything away from you,

and some of the hardest days are some of the days

that people wouldn't even think about,

like just seeing your friends go out

and have fun or seeing your friends go out

and catch up and stuff like that that you miss.

That's the days that aren't the best.

I feel like as you go closer to the end of each treatment

and you come out of each treatment

knowing that you survived,

it just makes you feel a lot more hopeful

that you will be able to beat cancer.

My number-one tip for you guys is just to stay happy,

stay positive, and have hope and smile

because regardless how things out in the end,

it's always better to be happy than to be sad.

[somber music]

- Being that honest seems impossible

when you're busy comforting the ones you love

by purposefully not talking about it,

but I guess everyone's got a secret or two.

[somber music]

- [sighs]

♪

- Photoshoot all day, clubbing all--what the hell?

[phone ringing]

- Hey, Helga.

- Hi, it's still Zac.

- Why are we whispering?

- Because my twin sister is asleep on the couch.

♪

How are you feeling?

- Like death.

- It gets better. You will get better.

- I'll take your word for it.

- Use mouthwash. - Gross.

- It basically kills all the nausea.

- Okay, fine.

- Good choice. Do it.

♪

[laughs]

Oh, my God, you look like a rabid chipmunk.

♪

- [spits]

♪

- Jerk.

- Worth it.

- Oh, what about you?

Will you get better?

- Can I call you back in, like, two seconds?

- Yeah, sure, if you want.

- I do. I really do.

[soft music]

[door opens and closes]

♪

- Hello? - It's me.

I didn't want to wake up my sister.

She was sleeping right by me,

so I'm hiding in the bathroom like a boss.

- [chuckles]

How'd you get this number?

- I was in that room for my chemo.

- So your sister spends the night?

- Yeah.

Where's, uh-- where's your family?

- I just have my mom, but she'd prefer she didn't have me.

[soft music]

♪

What are you doing now?

- Me?

I'm--I'm just sitting on my toilet

talking to this random girl, baller stuff.

- I mean before, and please don't say masturbating.

- [chuckles]

Okay, fine, I guess if I have to lie...

Once again, I'm kidding. - [chuckles]

♪

I--I guess I was,

uh--I was watching kids with cancer vlog

and over-share their feelings.

- That's specific and morbid.

♪

Do you post videos? - Me?

God, no. No, no, no, no.

- You should. - No.

- Nobody's gonna see it, and if they do,

they'll feel better about their own chances.

♪

- [chuckles]

♪

But--but seriously, you're not gonna die, right?

Wow, so that's--

that's not a no, is it?

- It's not a yes.

Um, it's a m-- I don't--it's just a maybe.

♪

- Everybody's a maybe, Zac. - No, no, Mia, not you.

You're not a maybe.

You're a yes.

♪

Are you there?

- What are you doing? - What do you mean?

I'm telling the truth. You're gonna be okay, Mia.

[thud]

[beeping]

♪

[soft music]

♪

[beep]

♪

[sighs]

Greetings, depths of the Internet.

My name is Zac Meier, first-time poster,

and longtime lurker.

Don't really know how to start,

so I guess I'll just tell you what I have.

I have non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, also known as NHL,

not the hockey, it's a little bit worse than hockey,

stage 4B,

which basically means if you're a Vegas odds maker,

I'm pretty much even money.

My family, I can't just unload on them.

It's not fair, you know? They're scared.

I feel like I'm doing my part

by pretending to be strong

to protect them,

but, you know, you watching this,

I--I'm not gonna protect you one bit,

and to tell you the truth, I'm--you know,

I'm terrified most of the time.

♪

I have a story for you guys.

When I was just starting chemo,

my twin sister, Bec, she came in my room

and was begging to put these glow-in-the-dark stars

all over my ceiling, so I--I let her do it.

You know, these things looked less like the cosmos

and more like hotel bed sheets under a black light.

- [laughs]

- Let that sink in for a little bit.

There was this one star,

the biggest and the brightest in the pack

that she put right over my bed.

That star was perfect.

Eventually I was moved out of that room.

I snuck back in there a couple days later

and found by either oversight or design...

♪

I saw that they left that one perfect star.

That star still waits in that room above the bed

to comfort the next person who needs it.

♪

I think that's what we can do for each other.

Maybe that star shines to say,

"You're not the first person to go through this.

You're not the last,"

and maybe it shines to say,

"There's still time left for you to shine."

♪

If worse comes to worst and cancer

takes us out of this world,

there's still one--one part of us left behind.

♪

And that's the part that glows.

♪

This is Helga signing off.

How the hell do you turn it off?

- [laughs]

♪

[waves crashing]

♪

- I'm not alone.

♪

[driving music]

♪

- Checkmate.

- No way, God. - It's all right.

We'll just tell people that cancer made you

a little bit dumber. - It doesn't make any sense.

[knocking]

- Greetings, earthlings.

- What's up, Cam? What a surprise.

- You want to tell him, or should I?

- I mean, it was your idea.

- Oh, no, no, no, what's going on?

What is--what's happening?

- Okay, uh, you're sitting down.

I should sit down.

Um, oh.

Um, first off, we want to say we're sorry

for doing this behind your back.

- We knew that, like, if we told you, you'd be like,

"No, no way, not cool. I don't want that."

- Holy shit, are you sleeping with our sister?

- What? - Wha--no.

- No! - Absolutely not.

- That would be so funny. - It's a little illegal.

- Yeah, right? Like, that--they could even--

but look, I come in peace.

To cut to the chase,

Zac, buddy, you've had my back since day one,

and I, for once, want to have yours,

so we nominated you for Make-A-Wish.

- Make-A-Wish. You get a wish.

- Not--not that, like, you're--you're gonna die.

- I know. - But, you know,

it's more like what you have--

- Cam. - Could be considered--

- Cam, breathe.

I understand fully. - Yeah.

- It's just I...

♪

Thank you. - Ha!

- Yeah! - Yes!

- Whoo-hoo! - That's awesome.

- It's gonna be great.

- So, what are you gonna wish for?

- Strippers!

No, no, you're right.

We'll think bigger. - Yeah.

- It's, like, a wish, you know?

- Yeah, no, I was just kidding.

I was just kidding.

- Yeah, whoo! - Dude.

- I'm glad you're feeling better.

- I wish I felt as good as they sound.

Are they having a party over there?

- Mm, sort of.

Zac just received a Make-A-Wish.

♪

- Wait, does this mean he's dying?

- Getting a Make-A-Wish doesn't mean

that you're at death's door. You just have to be

under 18 with a serious illness.

I can nominate you if you want.

- Hardest of passes.

♪

- I have a surprise for you,

but you have to promise not to get upset.

- You're totally selling it so far.

- [laughs]

♪

I called your mom.

- What? Vinny, we talked about this.

- Retract the claws. I asked her to bring

some of your favorite things from home.

- Thank you for respecting that I don't want to speak to her.

- You're welcome.

- [gasps, squeals]

Mr. Bojangles!

Aww, nobody gets me like you do.

♪

- So you think he's excited? - He'll come around.

He's just super weird.

- What the heck is going on?

- He's really lucky to have a friend like you though.

- Yeah.

[thudding]

- Cam, you break it, you buy it.

- That was my bad, Jordan.

[bright music]

♪

But really, thank you.

I can barely sign my own name,

and you know I couldn't have done this without you.

♪

- Seems like it.

- You know, you're gonna make

some dude happy as hell someday.

♪

But I got to jet.

When I do get the surgery, though,

I'm coming to you for nurse duty.

I hear you're the best.

- The first thing I'd cut out is diet sodas.

- Noted.

♪

- [sighs]

[knocking]

[line trilling]

- You banged?

- I thought it sucked in here when I was reeling from chemo,

but it turns out when you're feeling better,

that's when the real torture begins.

- Ah. You know,

some people go home in between chemo treatments.

- Okay, well, apparently unrelated to awesome cancer,

I have weak kidneys.

They're worried that I might go into something

like ray--

ray...anal failure?

That can't be right.

- I think you mean renal failure.

- Yes, that's what I was--God.

So anyway, they have to monitor me here until I'm done,

which I guess kind of works out

because otherwise I'd be stuck at home with my mom.

- [coughing]

- Are you okay over there?

- Never been better.

- So I, uh--I heard about your wish.

- Wow, news travels fast.

- What are you gonna wish for?

- I don't know. - Well, what do you enjoy?

- Uh, talking to you.

- Cute but boring.

- Boring? You said I'm boring.

- When was the last time you did something unexpected,

something impulsive?

The answer you're looking for is never.

- I can be impulsive. - Oh, yeah?

- Yeah. - Prove it.

- Fine. - 'Kay.

- Bye. - Bye.

What?

[soft music]

♪

[knocking]

[coughs]

♪

Zac, what are you doing here?

- You--you like ice cream, right?

- I'm more of a froyo girl.

Are you asking me on a date?

- Are you, uh-- are you saying yes?

- Zac, you're not supposed to leave your room.

I don't want you to get sick.

- It's okay. I'm fine.

Plus we're not leaving the hospital or anything.

- Are you sure? - 100% positive.

See, Zac Meier, impulsive as hell.

- [laughs]

We're not gonna curl up on a gurney and watch

"The Fault in our Stars," are we?

- No, that's too on the nose.

[soft music]

♪

All they had was rocky road ice cream.

♪

- I'm cool with eating metaphors.

♪

So why aren't you more excited about this wish thing?

- I don't know. - Come on.

- Why do I deserve special treatment

over anyone else, like, all for some stupid disease

that isn't even unique to me?

- 'Kay, I guess that makes sense.

- Yeah.

- Cancer's got to be the stupidest way to die.

- Oh, no, there are for sure stupider ways to die.

- Oh, yeah? - Oh, yeah.

According to federal statistics,

almost 80 people died last year

by watering their Christmas trees

with the lights plugged in.

- Happy holidays. - Six people died

by testing batteries on their tongue.

- No. - Swear to God.

- That can't be true. - Swear to God,

and my favorite by far is the insane amount of people

who die by falling into random vats of shit,

beer, ice cream, hopefully not ours.

- [laughs]

- You're a really weird guy, Zac Meier.

- Yeah, but as established, impulsive.

- You did get ice cream.

[chuckling]

Okay, so let's--let's figure out your wish.

No, come on. This will be fun.

If it was me,

I would ask for VIP tickets to my favorite band, LANY.

- I have no clue who that is. - What?

- What? - Oh, my gosh.

Okay, hold on, I'm gonna play you a song.

Prepare to fall in love.

- ♪ Ain't never felt this way ♪

♪ Can't get enough, so stay with me ♪

♪ It's not like we got big plans, ooh ♪

♪ Let's drive around town

[ping]

♪ Holding hands

♪ And you need to know

♪ You're the only one, all right, all right ♪

- What's up with that? - What do you mean?

- That--like, I don't know, on social media,

you're kind of just, like, saying, "I don't have cancer."

I don't know.

- Well, maybe I just choose not to advertise

what's going on in my personal life.

- No, I--I totally get that, but you're also choosing to lie

about what you're really going through.

- Excuse me? - I completely understand

your right to withhold every bit

of personal information,

but you have a ton of friends.

I don't know, you're lying to every one

of them. - Okay, I might lie,

but at least I haven't forgotten about who I am.

- What is that supposed to mean?

- All you do is obsess about cancer 24/7.

You've abandoned your old life, everybody you used to

care about, everything that makes you you.

- You know, I'm focusing on my situation.

You're choosing to ignore it like it's gonna disappear.

- No, you've become cancer! - Zac!

- I'm not cancer. That's all you.

- Please don't. - No, I'm not doing

this anymore. This was a bad idea.

- Zac, what the hell are you doing?

Did you talk him into this?

- It won't happen again.

[soft music]

[door opens]

[door slams]

♪

- [coughs]

- What is wrong with you?

♪

Why would you risk it like this?

- You heard her. It's not gonna happen again.

- That was selfish, Zac.

- [coughs]

♪

[coughing]

♪

- Shit, you're burning up.

I'll go get Vinny.

[door opens]

[door closes]

- [coughs]

[gentle rock music]

♪