Original subtitles

How have you been doing?

I got out of bed... I bathed.

So the medication's helping?

Guess so.

Any hallucinations?

No.

And are you sleeping?

As much as I can.

I mean, I'm afraid to fall asleep.

That's understandable.

It's like... I'm...

afraid I'm gonna to miss a call from her when she needs me.

It's just so hard to let go.

And what happens when you try?

I can't stop seeing her face.

What does she look like?

Dead.

And what about when she was alive?

Elaine?

What about it?

Sing another one.

Hm, that's the only song I know.

How did you get your English name?

Oh, my first American friend gave it to me.

Really? - Mm.

I thought Barbara was a nice name.

My friend liked the singer.

Wait, you're named after Yentl?

Who?

Aye.

Mom?

Oh.

It's okay, shh.

You must believe in God.

Shh.

It's my fault the family broken.

No, no, don't say that.

Not true.

He's still your father.

I want you to know in your heart...

...this is not your fault.

You didn't choose to be sick,

he chose to be absent.

You must believe in God.

I want us to meet again, okay?

Me too.

Me too.

Shh... shhhh.

I prayed that night.

God, I haven't prayed since I was a little girl.

Do you believe in God?

People believe in a lot of things when they're desperate.

You've said that before.

Well, it's true.

And either way, it wasn't enough.

You did take care of her.

And she died.

Have you heard from your father?

Elaine...

this is Dad.

You can't keep her ashes from me

just because I wasn't there.

She belongs to me!

Do you hear me...

Mei Mei,

it's Mama.

I love you.

Mei Mei,

it's Mama.

I love you.

Mei Mei,

it's Mama.

I love you.

Did he come for the ashes?

No.

But I'm not surprised.

Four fucking years we did it alone.

None of her belongs to him.

Let's try something.

Anything.

Okay.

I want you to come out here and lie down on your back.

Come on, it's okay.

All right...

Okay, now close your eyes.

Close your eyes.

And breath.

I want you to feel your body relaxing into the ground.

Feel the full support of the ground beneath you.

Now I want you to turn your attention inward.

Let your body feel what deep relaxation is.

Surrender.

Let go... of guilt.

Feel your pain and your anger, and then let it go.

No judgment.

No shame.

Just let go.

And I want you to think about these two questions.

What do I need?

What does my heart need to heal?

Open your eyes.

Sit up when you're ready.

You can't keep her ashes from me.

She belongs to me.

Elaine? Elaine?

Open your eyes.

You're here, you're here.

Come on, sit up.

How do you feel?

I don't know. - Okay.

Just breathe.

Breathe, breathe.

What did you experience?

I saw my dad. - Uh, huh.

I put an axe in his heart. - You did.

It was violent. - That's good.

It's good, actually.

It is.

I don't understand.

Hey, listen,

you don't have to understand.

You just have to trust yourself and trust your process.

Am I crazy?

You're gonna be okay.

I promise.

Elaine?

Grief is long.

550... 320... 720...

...950...830

590 plus dressing is 790,

510,

435,

255. I am inspired. 620

I am awesome. 540... I am dazzling.

Roasted garnet. I am confident... 840

I am confidant. 640.

Spicy pepitas.

I am inspired.

Probiotic kimchi.

I am grateful.

310... Brazil nut parmesan.

950 - Summer grain salad

725

Sea palm.

Spicy probiotic

I am inspired.

Hey there, Ashley. - What?

Sorry, I just wanted to know what you're gonna order.

Oh, sorry.

I am lost, what's good here?

I mean, everything is delicious.

Like, you cannot go wrong.

I mean, I'm obsessed with this place.

It's like kind of categorically my whole life.

No, yeah. I mean, it's really cute or "I'm cute".

Okay, I know, it's a little bit extra, but seriously just like pick anything.

You cannot go wrong. - Okay.

Welcome to Cafe Abundance.

Have you two been here before?

Oh, I have.

She hasn't.

Hype.

Okay, so everything here is organic, sustainably farmed,

plant-based and allergy-accommodating.

Our special today is "I Am Essential".

House-made seitan steak with cherry compote.

So do you have any questions? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The "I am dazzling"

does that come with sea palm?

You are.

And it does not.

I'm Jordan, and...

- I'm sorry, I have a question. - Yeah.

I was just wondering, um... what inspired the food titles?

I know, right?

We feel our affirmations are empowering,

especially for our gals.

Outside of this restaurant everybody is selling you

'You're never good enough.'

That's why coming into Cafe Abundance

should feel like entering an oasis of positivity.

An oasis of positivity.

That's right.

So, I'm Jordan and I'll go to grab you some waters.

Okay.

I had a really big lunch

so I should probably keep it light.

An oasis of positivity.

Excuse me, hi.

Pro tip, the zucchini fries,

if you have the calories to spare, get them,

they're like heaven.

I mean, not like the real thing of course, but they're like heaven.

Oh my God, that sounds so good

but I can't today... next time.

(watch chimes

Is everything bullshit?

Kale is bullshit.

Kale is definitely bullshit.

But, isn't all of this bullshit?

I mean, we're not happy or empowered,

at least I'm not.

I am just sitting here counting all of the calories

in my head to see if I'm good enough for a hamburger.

Oh, no, no. They don't have hamburgers here.

Exactly.

Look, there's nothing wrong with wanting to watch what you eat,

it's called being almost 30.

Okay, so having a running tally of every calorie I've eaten today

like I'm some stockbroker on speed, that's normal.

Oh, no, there's an app for that.

Yeah, everyone does that.

Yeah, I... everybody in this restaurant because it's like 80% women.

Yes, yes, and we are all in this together, but girl,

right now you're being a little first world problemsy

and I am getting hangry.

So can we please split the "I Am Grateful"?

I can't even with these affirmations.

Oh my God, there's nothing wrong with wanting

to add a little positivity to the world.

Oh no, yeah, totally, like telling women to smile.

No, no, ew, gross.

No, of course not just,

just choose a fucking meal.

Shit. You know, when I was a little girl,

I remember consciously choosing not to like

the color pink because it was a girl's color.

I chose the color teal.

I don't even know if I like teal.

My whole apartment is teal.

What if every decision I've ever made is ingrained

with the idea that I'm, that I'm not valued?

Lesser than?

Fuck.

I bought a juicer yesterday.

Please just choose something before you start like,

using your menses to fertilize your house plants.

Oh, yeah, maybe I should, maybe we need to try something new.

I bet you menses are great for plants.

Uh, I'm sorry.

Could you not talk about that here?

It's lunch. Gross.

Can you not tell me to save my fucking calories

for zucchini fries?

Because I guarantee you they are not heaven, okay.

Ladies, ladies, ladies,

will you just please chill the vibes down here?

Ashley. - Oh, I am not chilling shit.

Just please calm down.

This is a safe space.

This is not a safe space.

This is the same bullshit being sold to women everywhere.

Ma'am, I feel bad about my body too, sometimes.

I go to the gym.

I cut, I bulk.

So, I totes get feminism.

Uh.

Well, as long as you totes get it.

But see, I don't think that you can

because you go to the gym to build your body for you.

I chip away at mine to fit into this world,

but you know what?

Fuck it. - Ma'am, you need to sit down.

Oh no, I am done picking up scraps of self-esteem.

I am awesome!

I am beautiful!

I'm great!

I'm grateful!

I am wise!

I'm sparkley!

I'm bold!

I'm inspired!

I am... I am...

...half naked!

Oh, oh.

Oh, are you uncomfortable?

Feel a little weird, huh?

Oh, you thought feminism was cool, right?

You can price, package, wrap into a fucking bow

and sell it back to me as confidence?

Well, listen up.

I'm not hiding.

I'm not backing down.

I am America's greatest threat

because I'm a woman who isn't buying.

I'm not buying this.

I'm not buying your bullshit.

I'm not buying anything.

I am investing in me and I'm ready to take up

some motherfucking space!

No.

We are so scary, man.

You guys got to go.

Okay, yeah. - Okay, whatever. Fine!

You know, what?

Fuck this restaurant concept!

Punk!

Uh, the adrenaline just wore off.

Yeah, my tits really hurt. This sucks.

Maybe we should find your car.

It's somewhere over there.

Are you getting hungry?

Fuck, I'm hungry.

Wanna get some burgers?

Let's get some fucking burgers.

Oh, no.

- What have you done? - Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Please.

No, no, no, no.

Stop it!

Hey. - No.

Stop

Shh. - Get off me!

Stop it. - Get off me!

Stop.

What do you want from me?

I want you to do what I say... okay?

No.

I guess I have to...

board every window this house.

Come on.

No, please, no, please.

We can't go on like this.

Please, please.

Open your mouth, Grace. - No.

Open your mouth, come on.

Don't!

I don't want it.

No, no.

Please.

Come on, come on.

Please, please!

Open your mouth, goddammit!

Ouch!

Oh.

Ah, Grace. I'm so sorry.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Stop it.

Come on, Gracie.

Let's try again.

No.

Ow!

Oh, God.

Grace!

Open the door.

No, please. - Open the door.

Open this door!

Grace.

Grace, please open the door.

Stop it.

I can't take this.

Come on.

Open the goddamn door!

Come on.

Come on, open the door!

Just promise me.

Oh!

Grace!

Get away from the door!

Just promise me

No matter how bad it gets.

I won't make it without you.

I want to sleep in my own bed

with you beside me.

Promise me.

I promise.

No matter what?

No matter what.

Grace?

Grace?

Norman.

Whoa, whoa.

Oh, oh. - I gotcha.

You look beautiful.

Norman?

You know what?

The corn is higher than my pick up truck.

What have I done?

- No. - I'm sorry. I didn't know. - I'm all right.

- I didn't know it was you. - No, no, no, don't go there. No, no.

Oh, mother. - I missed you.

Oh. No. Oh, no, no.

No!...No!

No! No.

No!

I'm sorry,

but I strongly recommend

withdrawing life support.

It is time.

My daughter.

It's time to wake up.

Please wake up, my daughter.

Her eyes blinked a little.

♪ I'm on top of the world and now I'm livin' ♪

♪ and the good just gets better, keeps on givin' ♪

♪ not even close to the end, it's just beginnin' ♪

♪ life is gettin' lighter

♪ while the days are gettin' brighter, yeah ♪

♪ and it's all good, I won't even worry anymore ♪

♪ took all my cares, took them

♪ kicked them all out the door ♪ go on and try it, come on and tell me ♪

♪ what you're waitin' for

♪ move and keep going

♪ till your life is overflowin', yeah ♪

♪ I do a dance, do a dance of victory ♪

♪ cause now I'm livin' good ♪ no, I'm not livin' like I used to be ♪

♪ not talkin' bout things, talkin' bout my mind ♪

♪ now I'm free from the worries that I left behind ♪

♪ I gotta jump for joy and shout aloud ♪

♪ and make a sound, oh, the world can't stop me now, no... ♪

Don't even think about it.

Come on, I put a lot of love into this.

Aw.

Where's the Pepto?

Babe?

Thank you.

I'm sorry, um... I don't understand what's happening right now.

Lily. - What?

You're not coming with me.

Uh, no.

What?

Angel. - No.

You said... - No.

You literally...

...your exact words were that we were gonna

tell your mom together.

This doesn't look like together.

Seven years.

Are we still doing it for each other?

I mean, are we good?

Why would you even ask me that?

Stupid question. - Don't do that.

Maybe we should take a trip.

Pride Uganda's in a week.

Bite your tongue.

Okay fine, Nigeria then.

Oh, you're in a rare form today.

Oh.

Welcome, you are the fourth person on this call

at the tone, please state your name.

Lily.

I have to work. - Oh, okay.

Yeah, good morning everyone, hi.

Yeah, I'm here.

You hungry?

You didn't make yourself anything.

I'm good.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I'm losing it.

Oh, my God.

Do you need the shower right this second?

No... no.

Oh, my God.

My daughter, my daughter.

It's time.

Please wake up, my child.

Our Father, which art in heaven.

Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come.

Thy will be done.

On earth, as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

as we forgive our debtors.

She's awake!

She's awake!

Doctor!

Doctor!

Welcome.

Welcome. Welcome. Welcome back.

Welcome back, young lady.

It's a miracle.

Oh, my daughter.

Thank you!!

You are one very lucky woman.

You fell wrong.

Hit your head.

It was mainly a scalp injury.

Small subdural hematoma.

How long was I in the coma?

Seven weeks.

Seven weeks?

Your speech is sound,

your movements are coordinated

I am pleased

and frankly, stunned.

Lily.

I will have the nurse check on you later.

Rest.

A lot.

No scratching.

Mmm.

You remember me?

I've never seen you wear another color before.

Maybe I should bring another one next time?

I don't plan on jumping off another building anytime soon.

Did my mom say anything?

No.

She thinks I'm your bestie.

hmmm.

How you feeling?

Confused.

Why?

We lived in Los Angeles.

We traveled the world.

You were not you

and I was not me.

We were...

we were...

I went to New York.

I saw the Twin Towers.

I know they are not

there anymore, but...

I saw them.

That's nice.

Was I in your dream?

Were you hurt?

I'm tired.

Lie down.

I'll come visit next time.

Oh.

You are beautiful

just the way you are

don't forget that.

Yes, you are.

I've missed you.

I would happy to assist you with your wireless upgrade.

May I please have your date of birth and telephone number, for security reasons?

While I'm waiting for your account to load,

can I interest you in our 10 gigabyte storage plan, for only $9.99 a month?

I don't think so.

Um... it shows here that you ran over your data limit.

You currently subscribe to our unlimited family plan.

Are you communicating with any devices other than the four

devices listed on your family plan?

We have unlimited wave-

- Hello? Hello? - Hello. - I'm calling the Better Business Bureau...

Yeah. - Excuse me, Ma'am?

Ma'am?

- I don't know what her problem is, right. - She's so strange.

Exactly.

Okay, I'll see you guys later.

Just 'cause I see things doesn't mean they're there.

Mariella?

This is for you.

You'll have to sign for that.

I would be happy to assist you with your wireless upgrade.

Oh, I do apologize my computer is running very slow today.

Just a few moments while I update, sir.

What's up, Django?

What is the deal with her?

Mariella?

Yeah, I wouldn't go there.

She's nutsoid.

She was on leave and we think it was a loony bin

kind of leave.

She doesn't seem crazy.

Sometimes I catch her staring at me

like I'm an alien.

Oh, I pulled up your history here,

it seems like probably should go with

the family plan.

...a telephone number and date of birth.

♪ I tremble at the edge of sleep ♪

♪ How many times I dreamt you were real ♪

♪ And mine to keep

♪ Falling stars and day dreams

♪ Things were never quite as they seemed ♪

♪ If you were mine to keep

...Oh, and I forgot to hit the brakes on it.

So I'm just going down and I...

I should change the record.

Hey, you okay?

Hey,

what is it?

You can tell me.

I see things.

Yeah, so do I.

I don't think you understand.

Wait.

Then I'll fight them for you. Yeah, right.

You don't think I'm strong enough?

Did I get it?

It's over there now.

Oh.

Get down!

Take the gun.

What are you talking about? - Take it!

Get down!

I think you should go.

And leave you in this war zone? No way.

Django, it's been this way my whole life.

All right.

Come on.

Now you try.

You're crazy.

Actually...

Not funny.

Just try, don't give into your fear.

Come on.

You can do it.

More morphine, Mama.

More morphine, Mama.

- Shh, shh, shh. - Mama, I need more morphine.

- It's coming, honey, it's coming. - Sweetheart, let's start this.

Hold out your hand.

Shh, it's okay, it's okay.

Come on, come on.

I know, I know. I know, it's okay.

Don't look, don't look.

It's gonna, it's gonna be fine.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Here you go.

It's okay, it's okay. One more. Count to ten in your head.

Count down, count to ten backward down, love.

Here we go.

Let's turn this on.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...

Squeeze my hand.

Four, three, two, one.

Shh.

Remember that flying feeling that you had?

Go to sleep now.

You can't fight it. You can't fight it.

Go to sleep. Go to sleep now. Go to sleep now.

Come on.

(water trickles

Hi, Em... I'm actually gonna need your expense report

by the end of the day.

This is his mustache.

You're cute.

Think I'm cute?

Yeah, maybe without the mustache.

You don't like the mustache?

Oh, I got a draft tonight.

Fantasy draft's tonight? - Yep.

Can't keep the forbid mistress waiting.

Uh-huh.

It's fantasy football, Em.

Let's not start this tonight.

No, of course.

Have fun. - Yep.

Hello?

All right, boys.

It's time to draft!

Woooo!

Oh, my God. - Oh, hey babe.

Don't, "Hey babe" me with a lady dancer on your lap.

What?

This is how you draft.

Oh, please.

You know what?

Screw Travis Kelce.

I'm taking this tight end.

I don't think so.

Mm-hm.

What is going on?

Hey babe, this is Emily.

It's only our second date but I can tell she's the one.

His mom and I talk on the phone every

night before bed even though we've never met.

I thought Nancy didn't have minutes after nine p.m.

You know, on our first date we got

matching tattoos to symbolize our everlasting love.

It was his idea.

You told her her you love her?

Yeah,

tons of times.

Tells me I'm beautiful even without makeup.

Well, you don't need that stuff.

You know, I've had multiple studies done

on my vigorously fertile uterus.

He doesn't even want kids...

Wait, what studies?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

In our bed?

Oh, it's you.

You asshole.

I knew you were cheating on me.

What are you talking about?

Seriously?

You're literally still inside of her vigorous vagina,

whatever the... Who are you?

Is that your mom? - No. Um...

What!

No, I'm not his mom.

I'm his girlfriend.

I've got this.

Listen, sweetie,

you're not the right person for him.

You're too boring.

You're not pretty enough.

Your hair always looks like a mess.

You're obviously not that bright.

You could certainly stand to lose a couple extra pounds.

And if I'm being completely honest,

you're just not sexually adventurous.

We 69'd.

Once.

Almost.

That's cute.

The truth is, honey, he just doesn't love you.

Let's all get married.

Yeah.

I got all the way to the train and realized

I forgot my Venture card.

I have something to tell you but I don't know how.

Can you not leave the Brita on the counter?

I mean, I can't stand warm water.

Yeah.

I got all the way to the train and realized I left my

Venture card on the counter.

I have something to tell you

but I don't know how.

I think we should break up.

I got all the way to the train and realized

I forgot my Venture card.

I have to tell you something.

I think we should break up.

Queer.

Get AIDS.

Faggot.

- You're such a queer. - Faggot.

Faggot.

Cock sucker.

Faggot.

Cock sucker. You're such a queer.

Fuck you, faggot.

Where are you going, freak?

Queer.

Cock sucker. - Queer.

What the hell?

You're such a weirdo.

You're the weirdo, leave me alone.

You'll never be a girl. - Shut up.

You shut up!

Queer.

Faggot.

Cock sucker.

Queer.

Queer.

- Faggot. - Cock sucker.

Pussy.

Faggot.

You're such a queer.

Shit.

Queer.

Cock sucker.

Queer.

You should have never been born.

Faggot.

Faggy.

Queer.

Oh, hell no.

No, no, no, no, no.

Shit!

What the hell, child?

Why the hell you wanna do that, huh?

Now, tell me where you live 'cause I'm taking you home.

Oh, fine.

But you gonna catch a cold in those wet, stank clothes.

Oh, my God.

Oh, Jesus.

Come with me.

Come on, now!

The bigger the glass is... the smaller your fingers look,

that's a tip.

Hm.

You live here?

Mm.

It talks.

What's your name?

Cassie.

What's yours?

I'm Pepper.

Now get out of those wet clothes

so I can throw them in the dryer.

Put this on.

Andale, andale.

Don't touch anything.

I'll be right back.

That's Dallas Coulter. - Sorry.

Now your little ass is standing on my Chanel.

Chanel, like in Vogue?

Mm-hm.

Circa 1970.

So you know what Chanel and Vogue are, hm?

Look at you.

Little fashionista.

You lucky I went deep sea diving in a knockoff.

Do you want to be a woman?

Hell no, child.

You think I want those mood swings?

Shit.

Uh-uh.

That's not your color.

Mm-mm.

Then what are you... really?

I'm a drag artist, sweetheart.

I get paid to dress up like a glamorous woman and perform.

It's all an illusion, honey.

Nothing else.

That was my husband, Nick.

You were married?

Yep.

25 years.

And then just like that,

he died.

Left me to deal with this bullshit alone.

Why the hell do you want to off yourself at your age, huh?

Huh?

I thought it was only drag queens like me

who "Thelma and Louise" it off a cliff

when shit gets real...

but you're just a kid.

Oh.

Look. This...

this is your color.

Here.

Your clothes should be dry by now.

I'll go get 'em.