Original subtitles

The dating show that dares to bare everything is back.

Sick of swiping? This is the place for you.

Can picking a partner based solely on natural beauty...

GASPS: Oh!

Oh, my goodness.

I don't even know where to look.

...help you find The One?

That's amazing.

That's filth that is.

We like to start where a good date ends...

Wow!

Now you're talking.

...naked.

I did not expect that.

When we're entirely exposed in our unfiltered glory...

The student has now become the master.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

...what do we really find attractive?

Let's talk cock.

It makes my vagina wince a little bit.

I love to suck nipples.

There are so many cocks.

I love a good set of mammaries.

We've had a spillage.

Wow.

Feed me.

You never get this on Bake Off, eh?

Tonight, it's a Naked Attraction first.

A married couple hoping to make it a throuple.

Have you two got similar tastes when it comes to minge?

I just go with what she says.

And Chrissy's on the lookout for husband number four.

You're going to have to buy a hat, Anna.

Oh.

Will any of our singletons find their soulmates?

I don't know where to look.

Ooh.

I wasn't expecting that.

Let's find out by dating in reverse.

This is Naked Attraction.

Welcome to Naked Attraction.

We've got as many singletons as Snow White had friends,

but not nearly as bashful.

Inside each of these six pods I've lined up

a naked singleton.

Only one of them will be picked to go on a date

but who's doing the choosing?

I'm Abbie, I'm 28.

I'm Charlie, I'm 27.

We've been together for six years, married for five,

with four beautiful children and three lovely dogs.

Basically, she were the one night stand that never went away.

We have an amazing marriage,

but there is a little thing missing.

MUSIC: The Magic Number by De La Soul

# What is it? One, two

# Three... #

BOTH SINGING: That's the magic number.

# Three... Yes it is, it's the magic number... #

We like to define ourselves as a poly couple.

Well, it means you open up your relationship

to introduce other people.

I've always been attracted to girls.

It's every man's dream. Two birds in a bed with you.

You can't really moan about that.

We're not just looking for a cheeky Friday hook up anymore.

We want to find someone that's serious

and wants to be involved in our relationship.

BOTH: Naked Attraction, turn this couple into a throuple.

Well, hello you two!

So, this is a Naked Attraction first.

You're our first ever married pickers.

We are a polyamorous couple.

We're looking to expand our twosome

and make it into a threesome.

I'm bisexual, so, adding another woman into our relationship,

I think it's just going to be amazing.

We want to find someone that actually wants to be

a part of our life, and just be in an actual relationship with us.

And how do you guys feel about getting your kit off later on?

It doesn't bother me at all. No.

This is like a normal Saturday night for us, really. Yeah.

Whip your clothes off, jump in the hot tub,

a few drinks, job done.

Our neighbours probably hate us at home, but hey ho!

Yeah...Yeah.

Well, listen, let's see if we can make you two a three. Wicked.

In front of you, you can see six coloured pods.

Inside each of them is a gorgeous naked lady just for you.

Each of them has

a physical attribute that you have said you find attractive.

We're going to reveal them to you bit by bit,

and all you have to do is whittle them down from

six to one and find your girl. Right.

OK. Can we please reveal

the bottom half of the bodies?

Oh, god!

Fucking hell!

I can't believe there's actually six of them.

Who do you want to go to? Red, I reckon.

Just to let you know,

this person identifies as they/them.

So what do you think of their vulva?

Very pretty. Very neat and tidy. Yeah.

Have you two got a similar taste when it comes to minge?

I like mine, like, neat, tucked in.

I just go with what she says.

Oh, do you?

I think I'm a bit drawn to Orange.

She's very tidy, looks very petite, but that's not normally my type.

What's your normal type? More of a curvy girl,

preferably clean shaven,

but a little bit of hair doesn't bother me.

Go to Blue? Yeah.

She caught my eye straight away,

the little piercing, I think it's just the cherry on the cake.

Just talk to me about how the polyamory came about then?

When I came out I was bisexual, Charlie was like "OK, let's go.

"Let's go and explore”. Then we had our first threesome

and we was, like, "That feels comfortable for us". Yeah.

And then it was like we're missing a little something.

I think we need a bit more of a connection than just

a random threesome. Yeah.

What if they want to sleep in the same bed as you?

Can you, sort of, like, shunt up? That's fine. That's fine by me.

We've done it before. Yeah. I love that.

Three in the bed and the little one said. Don't roll over.

Don't roll over.

In the past year, online searches for polyamory have increased by

a massive 400% amongst women

and 500% amongst men.

According to one dating app,

60% of couples are looking for a third person

to bring into their relationship, but, as one study found,

in non-monogamous relationships,

it's usually the woman who comes up with the rules.

So, fellas, be careful what you wish for.

Yellow.

She's got, like, a full bush going on.

How do you feel about getting down in that?

I wouldn't say no, but a little bit hesitant.

Have you got any complaints when it comes to oral, Abbie?

I'm the first girl he actually ever gave oral to, so,

I think I've got him pretty much trained.

Yeah, the student has now become the master. Yeah.

Oh, yeah? Obi-Wan Kenobi. Yeah.

Love it.

Let's go over to Pink.

Curvy girl.

Which is what we tend to go for anyway.

Yeah. Tucked in, neat, pretty. Nice bum.

Oh, yeah. Very peachy.

Do you do a little bit of bum play? Oh, of course.

Not many men that admit to it,

but I do like a little bit of bum play.

I've had a finger. I've got a little bullet, as well,

that goes up there... Oh, have you? ..every now and again.

I think it climaxes you a little bit faster.

OK. So you've got Green to go. Hello, Green. Hello, Green.

Hi!

I think she's got a great pair of legs.

Can't really see much what's going on under there.

It's a secret in hiding, isn't it?

OK. Guys, you're going to have to make your minds up.

So, it's decision time.

One of these girls is going to have to leave. Oh god!

I really don't know.

I'll let you make this decision.

Green.

Why Green? The pubic hair is too long.

So, guys, you're saying goodbye to Evi.

She's 20,

and she is a student from Manchester.

Evi, come down. Oh, she's so pretty as well.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Nice to meet you. It's OK.

Good bye. Bye.

It's all right, because it's their loss.

And sometimes the prettiest fireworks are found in the forest.

You've still got five bods remaining.

Can we please reveal

the middle part of the bodies?

Boobs! Boobs.

I'm drawn straight to Yellow.

They're just very perky. Handful.

Anything, I can get my hands around works.

I do love the old like tit-wank as well, straight in.

Oh, that came from nowhere.

It just gives you that extra little bit of stimulation.

Right.

Do you want to see what these girls might look like if they were

going to give you a tit-wank?

Yeah, why not?

Girls, show us what you can do.

Orange has got it going. Go, Orange! Oh, yeah.

Blue's got it going as well. They've all got it going on.

Yeah. You're all doing well, girls.

Charlie, you seem mesmerised.

Pfft, yeah.

Can you imagine your willy in the middle of the cleavage there?

Yeah. Every single one.

Did anybody stand out for you?

I'm still on cloud nine at the moment. Are you?

Yeah, I've just got boobs going around in my head.

It's between Pink and Yellow for me, personally.

OK. Where do you want to go?

To Pink.

I've been drawn to Pink for a little while now, to be fair.

The boobs, they're just perfect.

So, you could see yourself working with Pink then, Charlie?

Oh, every day. Yeah.

Around to Red next.

They have a bit of a smaller breast. For me, I prefer a curve.

Great figure.

Let's move on to Blue.

To Blue.

Nice body. Yeah.

Big boobs, Charlie.

A little bit of motorboating.

Got a smile on your face there?

Yeah. I've got a little bit of a twinge going on, I think.

So, it's decision time.

Red.

Red.

For us, we'd like someone a bit more curvy.

So, guys, you are saying goodbye to Holly.

They're 27 and a performer from North London.

Holly, come and say hello.

I could do with a hug. Do a hug. Group hug. Yeah.

Holly, you're riding solo tonight, my love. Goodbye. There they go.

They said my vulva was tidy. It's nice for people to notice.

Coming up,

Abbie and Charlie bare all before choosing who to date.

Spin round. Let's take a look.

And a brand new singleton gets to pick

a partner based on naked attraction.

Oh, my goodness!

Earlier, polyamorous couple, Abbie and Charlie whittled six potential dates down to four,

based solely on naked attraction.

They can only choose one girl to take on a date.

So, who will they lose next?

Sounds like fun. Mm.

Before we carry on though, guys,

just remind us you're a married couple, why are you here?

We're polyamorous. I'm bisexual.

Yeah. We've been married for ages.

We're totally in love and we need someone to come and share it with us.

What she said. What she said. What she said.

Lovely. Oh, this is the face round!

It's the exciting bit.

Let's reveal the girl's faces, please.

Hello!

Wow. Wow, indeed.

I did not expect that. Yeah, yeah.

Who surprised you?

Orange.

She's got that little glimmer in her eye. She's very pretty.

Yeah. We normally go for the curvy girls,

but, yeah, she's very petite, very slim.

She's got a very good looking face.

It's the eyes that give it the most.

They sort of like try and draw you in.

Oh! The brown eyes. Yeah.

Go to Blue? Yeah.

She loves her piercings. A lot of piercings. Wow! Yeah.

She likes a piercing. Yeah.

She's got her tongue pierced as well.

Have you got your tongue...? Yeah.

Oh, yes.

She does.

What do you think that it says about this person? Adventurous, maybe?

Yeah. I'd say making the most out of life.

Do you want somebody adventurous?

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, like, we drive motorbikes.

Oh, wow! OK. So, you're bikers as well in your spare time? Yeah. Yeah.

We'll go back to Yellow.

Short hair, I'm not really used to that.

Amazing eyes, bright Blue eyes. Yeah, with the Blue eyes.

She's very like girl next door, quite chilled.

We are very chilled out, chalk and cheese.

Busy household, though... Yeah. ..like, with four kids running around,

we do have a busy household.

Do you like kids, Yellow? Thumbs up or down? No.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh!

We have three dogs. Maybe you like them?

Dogs?

No. Oh. Moving on.

Pink's very pretty.

I'm sold.

You've always had a thing for Pink, haven't you? I have.

Are you ready for getting involved with these two, Pink?

Right, guys, it is decision time.

Yellow.

Why Yellow?

The short hair done it for me.

This is Hannah, she's 25.

She's an IT technician from Bournemouth.

Hannah, pop down, come and say hello to us.

What do you think of these two?

You both seem really lovely but, yeah,

like kids and dogs are big no's for me.

Thank you very much. Goodbye.

I'm more of a cat person,

so, I'll be keeping this pussy to myself.

This is the round where you hear what the girls sound like.

What kind of voice do you like?

I like the Irish accent.

I like a soft, like, a whisper in your ear kind of voice.

So, girls, as you heard,

Abbie and Charlie like to ride around on their motorbike.

So, if you were to step into their side car,

where would you take them on a romantic date?

Would you like to hear from Orange first?

Yeah, let's go for it. Yeah.

Forget the bike, cos I'll take you for a ride.

Sounds like fun.

Mm. Yeah. She's placid-toned. Nice.

I've forgotten about the bike already to be honest with you.

Have you? Yeah. The bike's gone.

I'll go for Blue.

I will take you to the beach and get some motion in the ocean.

Nice accent.

It is a very nice voice.

Finally we have Pink.

We'd go to the local lake for a cheeky little skinny dip.

Quite cute.

Like a soft spoken girl-next-door kind of vibe.

OK, guys, you've heard them speak.

One of these bods has got to go.

I don't know.

Blue.

Why Blue?

I think the voice was sexy, but she seems a bit wild.

So, guys, you're saying goodbye to Maria.

She's 22, she's a bar tender from Bristol.

Maria, come down.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Nice to meet you both. So sorry.

That's cool. Me too.

Maria, on your bike. Bye.

It's not the first time I've been described as wild,

but if they can not handle it then it sounds like their problem.

OK. Next time these girls see you... Yeah.

...it's going to be with your kit off.

Goodbye. See you in a minute. Let's go.

Based on naked attraction, married couple Abbie and Charlie

have whittled six potential dates down to two.

23-year-old student, Ida, and 22-year-old chef, Lizzy.

But only one can go on a date

to find out if there's chemistry when the clothes go on.

Ida, Lizzy, the last time you girls saw the couple, they had their kit on.

All of that is about to change.

Abbie and Charlie, come in.

Whey-hey! Look at you two.

Oh, you two look amazing.

Thank you. Thank you.

How do you feel about your body then, Abbie?

I've had four children, so, it's not perfect but...

Oh, come on. ..it does the job. It gets me.

Oh, come on. It's looking amazing.

I look at her and think everything tells a story. Yeah.

Every time she tells me "Oh, I hate my belly."

I say 'Well, you've had four kids. You've had four babies.

Four lovely kids. Yeah.

Lizzy, what do you think about the couple's bodies?

I think you're both really, really attractive

and you should not worry about your body at all,

cos you're fucking gorgeous.

Oh! Oh, no. Oh. You say it how it is, lady.

Yeah, you look great, and oh, my god,

you've got an amazing husband to match.

I think they're both really attractive.

I like her boobs, erm, and it's all like a great combination.

What do you make of Charlie's penis?

Difficult to see when it's not hard... Mm-hm. ..yeah.

OK. This is the moment where you get to pick

the person you want to have in your throuple.

It's either Lizzy...

...or it's Ida.

Hard, isn't it? Yeah.

We're going to go for...

...Lizzy.

Why Lizzy?

From the start, her body drawed us in. Yeah.

Ida, I am so, so sorry,

but it's going to be a solo swim for one.

Bye, Ida.

It's a shame it didn't work out today,

because their sex story sounded really interesting,

and I would have been up for that.

You've got Lizzy.

Let's go. Are we having a hug?

We're having a hug. How are you? OK?

I'm good, thank you.

Just looking at the three of you there,

you look great.

Take yourselves off.

Hold my hand. Awesome.

Enjoy yourselves. Thank you.

See you later.

I am very happy. I love the idea of a throuple.

I'm a multi-tasker, and I think there's a lot of fun

to be had in the bedroom.

From the moment that I see her,

I think that she caught my eye.

we'll put her in the hot seat and well just grill her.

Hello. Hi. Hello, are you all right? Yes.

Oh, you smell so nice.

I think initial attraction's still there,

so, we're on to a winner. Yeah. It's a win-win.

We're happy we picked you, to be fair.

You stood out, didn't she? Like, from the start. Yeah, from the start.

Yeah. And I've never been on a date

with two people at once. You haven't?

No, so this is definitely new for me.

Ah. Don't worry.

What's made you, like, go for two people then?

I've got a lot of affection to give,

and I feel like it would just be easier to have three,

They seem like absolutely lovely family people.

I think, yeah, I do fancy them a bit, yeah.

What are your hobbies? What do you like to do?

You like your motorbike, don't you? Yeah.

I have a motorbike, which helps.

Do you wear leathers or do you just? I do, yeah.

Oh, my!

Although it's not real leather. I've got PVC stuff at home,

like, for other things.

It just feels nice.

She's already talked about the PVC.

So, I think she's got a naughty side somewhere in her. Yeah.

I definitely think I can show them a thing or two.

They know what they want,

but I think I can definitely add to that.

Like there's a bit of a click going on, I feel, so... Yeah.

Yeah. Do you feel the same? Definitely.

I was going to ask if I was just to come down

to where you are... I'm done.

I am, yeah. Do you like a hot tub?

I love hot tubs. We've got a hot tub.

Bring the swim wear or don't bring the swim wear?

Whatever floats your boat.

We've seen each other naked now, so it don't really matter, does it?

Yeah, I suppose not. Do you want to kiss?

Yeah, I'd say so. So, if she's feeling us and we're feeling her.

Can I have a little bit of a kiss before we go?

Yeah, definitely.

It was a very weird first time throuple kiss.

Would try it again.

Oh! Let's go!

The throuple kiss was good.

It was good. More to be explored. Yeah.

Let's get out of here.

100% I'd like to see Charlie and Abbie again.

Hello. Hiya. Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm good, are you? Yeah, I'm good.

Have you met up since the date?

So when I came to see you a couple of weeks ago,

we all went upstairs and had a movie night.

Hot tub as well.

Ah, and the hot tub, yeah, we got in the hot tub.

One thing led to another and then we hopped on

the good foot and done the bad thing. Yeah.

That was nice. Very steamy.

Are you officially a throuple?

I always had the thought in my mind that I would like

to try a polyamorous relationship,

but I didn't think it was ever going to happen.

We're taking baby steps. Yeah.

We've not made like no commitments.

We're just enjoying each other's company for now.

It's enjoyable.

What I love about them is

the home dynamic I think is great.

The way that you both are

with each other I think is just beautiful,

and I love being a part of that. Oh!

I am excited about the future.

We're already planning our holiday together.

So, looking forward to seeing how it goes.

But it's been really good. Yeah.

# It takes three tango. #

Welcome back to Naked Attraction,

where just like Cinderella's slipper,

we try to find the perfect fit.

Unfortunately, it's been tried by many,

it's slightly smelly, and it's not set to last.

Inside each of these six pods,

I've lined up a naked singleton.

Only one of them will be picked to go on a date,

but who's doing the choosing this time?

I'm Chrissy, I'm 41, and I'm a glamour puss from Leeds.

So, for a living, I'm a full-blown, full-time actor.

I've literally filmed 14 feature films last year.

Anything you could imagine that's low budget, I've been in it.

I am a love bunny.

I fall in love like a leaf off a tree.

I've had my heart broken about 900 times.

I've been married and divorced three times.

One of my marriages is probably one of

the shortest in history. I mean, six hours,

but it felt like a really good idea at the time.

When I go out, I definitely get a lot of attention,

but I'm never the girl that they want to settle down with.

I'm always the one that they want a bit of rumpy-pumpy with.

I am absolutely ready to be starting a new relationship.

Naked Attraction, help me find husband number four.

Chrissy, hello and welcome to Naked Attraction.

You are so gorgeous and so perfect, I don't get it.

Why are you single?

I am the unluckiest person in love.

Like, I've been married and divorced three times.

What?

Yes. But that's because I'm a hopeless romantic.

So, I can't stop getting married.

Heart on my sleeve, throw myself in. It's all wink and balls.

Like, you could just buy me a shot of tequila,

I've got my legs at ten to two and I'm in love.

It's all wink and balls?

What a wink and then here's my balls?

Yeah. Not my balls. Oh, not your balls. So, his balls? Yes.

Go on, then.

In front of you, you have six coloured pods.

Inside each of them is a gorgeous naked guy just for you.

Oh.

Each of them has a physical attribute that you have said

you find physically attractive.

We're going to reveal them to you bit by bit.

All you need to do is whittle them down from six to one,

based on naked attraction alone.

I think I'm going to be able to do that.

Can we please reveal the bottom half of the bodies?

Ooh!

Oh, my goodness!

This is the most willies I've ever seen in one room in my life.

Pink, like I've never ever in my life seen a piercing on a willy.

Oh, god, it's good.

But that means he must be a bit naughty in the bedroom, right,

and I do like that.

Do you think you can get the length and the girth there?

I feel like everyone says 'Is it length or is it girth?',

but I don't want to choose.

You want both? I want both.

I definitely want to go to Green.

I feel like he has a cool willy. It's chilling.

It's a good size. That is a good, good willy.

So, for you, personally, what does a man need to do in the bedroom?

Well, they can't just shove it in.

I call it the three pump Sherlock, you know,

when you take 'em home, but they just do three pumps, and then

you don't know what's happened, because then they just go to sleep.

Come at me with three pumps. So it's just a one, two, three.

Mm, mm, uhhh... I call it Sherlock, because it's like a mystery.

I don't know what's happened.

Like Literally.

Orange, you've got a really big penis,

and you know that.

Have you seen the piercing around his balls?

Oh! Oh!

It makes my vagina wince a little bit.

I want to go and see Yellow.

You've got really good balls.

He's got some pubes.

I have this absolute fear of body hair,

cos once I like went down on this guy,

but he had like a full bush, and I've come up,

and I've got like pubes in my mouth,

like all coming out, like spaghetti pubes.

It's all right. Are you reliving that trauma?

I might have a cry, like...

Blue.

Blue looks like it's got loads of experience. Right.

Do you know what I mean?

That's the granddaddy of penises there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just tell us a little bit more about your marriages?

Yeah, the first time, I was only like 21.

You just think you're madly in love. Yes.

And you're just living it, but then when I was 21

and scrubbing gussets, it were rubbish.

So then husband number two, what happened?

Met him in Vegas. He was a Mexican chef,

and he could cook,

but he didn't get to see my beef taco.

Because I only knew him for six hours.

We got married and got it annulled.

Chrissy isn't the only one who got hitched quick.

Pop Princess Britney Spears takes the crown for

the celebrity quickie marriage, back in 2004,

her whirlwind Vegas wedding,

where she wore jeans and a baseball cap,

was over in 55 hours.

But the shortest marriage on record was in Kuwait.

The groom called his bride stupid

and the newlyweds' nuptials lasted just three minutes,

leaving not just the wedding cake in TIERS.

I want to go to Red.

You've got these like... Yeah. ..big, juicy thighs.

Let's talk cock.

I think Red has got a good average willy.

Yeah, like a normal willy.

OK. It is decision time.

Oh, no.

This is much harder than I thought it would be.

Orange.

Why Orange?

That ball piercing. Every single time I saw it,

my vagina went, "Eeek!", like a little mouse.

So, you are saying goodbye to Alessandro.

He is 38,

he's a freelance mixologist.

Hi, Alessandro! Pop down.

Oh, no.

Where are you from, Alessandro?

From Italy.

I've just said no to an Italian stallion with a massive penis.

Oh, Gorgeous. Oh.

Bye, my friend.

This is where we get to see the middle part of the bodies.

Mmmmm! Are you ready?

Yeah, I'm ready, Anna.

Let's see the middle part of the gents, please?

Oh, my god! It just gets better.

Oh, my goodness! Oh, Chrissy! Look at Green!

Oh, my god, what is that pec dance?

Do you know, what? I love, like, nipples.

Like, nipples are my thing.

He's got a nipple piercing. I like them on the nipples.

I would play with that in my mouth.

I think that's so hot.

Oh, my god, Green. Fit.

And shall we go Blue?

Let's have a look at Blue.

I mean, those are the smallest nipples I've seen in my life.

Yeah, I know, and I'm thinking how am I going to suck on them?

Hmm. Because they're like, you know, like when sometimes you get pancakes

at those posh places and you get little berries to put on them.

They look like them.

I want to go and see Yellow.

You've got really good nipples, Yellow.

I don't like chest hair.

Even despite the chest hair, could you suck on those nipples?

Can I razor me a circle round and then like suckle?

He's not sure.

Pink!

Oh, look at that little diamante belly button.

That's unusual on a fella, isn't it?

Yeah, but I like it. You've got good nipples too.

I like the big rose tattoo.

That means you must be. like, romantic. Romantic.

You're looking for romance? Yeah. What would be your ideal date?

Are you kidding? Like honestly, one time I met this guy at a bar,

and then he was taking me back to his,

he's thrown me on the bed and then he's thrusting away,

and I'm doing my Oooh faces, like you do, I'm like "Yeah, yeah, oh, oh!"

So, he's pulled out. So I think this is it,

he's just going to come all over me... Yeah.

...and he wees all over me.

It was a surprise golden shower.

And that's bad manners.

I mean, that's taking the piss, isn't it?

Come on.

Chrissy, it's decision time.

One of these bods has got to go.

Oh, gosh, this is so hard.

Blue.

Why Blue?

You've just got the tiny little nipples,

and I love a big nip that I can suckle on.

So, Chrissy, this is Neil.

He's 54, he's a carpenter from Gloucester. Oh.

Oh, my gosh. Hi, Neil! Come down and say hello.

Would you have liked to have had a date with Chrissie?

Yeah, I'd love to.

Aww. Oh, aww... Good luck. I'm so sorry.

Goodbye, my friend.

I was quite happy to be turned down for having tiny nipples,

cos it's much better than having a tiny cock.

Coming up,

Chrissy bares all before choosing who to date.

You look fabulous.

Earlier, actress Chrissy whittled six potential dates down to four

based solely on naked attraction.

She can only choose one boy to take on a date.

So, who will she lose next?

Oh, my god, it just gets better.

Before we carry on, Chrissy, why are you here?

The unluckiest person in love, in the world ever is me.

I've been married and divorced three times,

but I'm looking for lucky number four.

Now, this is where the boys get to see you,

and you get to see them.

So, can we please see the boys' faces?

I daren't look.

Oh, my gosh!

They're all really sexy.

Who has immediately drawn your eye?

I want to go to Red.

Come on then.

Because I feel like your body looks so dangerous

and naughty, but you look so sweet and kind.

You actually look really romantic.

Yeah, look at that. Straight in with a wink.

It's like, you're like hot.

You've got like this Clark Kent Superman thing going on.

Yes.

I want to go to Yellow, because as soon as the pod lifted up,

you were beaming. I love a good pair of gnashers,

but I don't like horsy veneers,

cos imagine they like glow in the dark at night

and they look like they're going to come and get you in your sleep.

But then you're so smiley.

You're going to have to buy a hat, Anna.

Oh. You'll make my dream come true, Chrissy.

We're going to go to Pink.

I think you're really, really sexy.

Do you think maybe?

I mean, you know, this is an older gentleman?

Like, I'm 41, so I don't want to be with someone who's 20...

No. ..and I have to pay his phone bill.

I want to go to Green.

You've got natural flirty eyes.

I love that he always makes direct eye contact with me...

Oh, yes. ..and he's not afraid of me.

I can tell by the way you're looking at me that I like that.

So, Chrissy,

I think it's time

to find out just how expressive these boys' faces can be.

OK. As you've heard, Chrissy is a professional actress.

So, fellas,

Chrissy and I are going to act out a little scene.

We want you to be our extras.

There might not be an Oscar in it, but there is a date at stake.

MUSIC: EastEnders Theme Tune

Oh, Anna, when am I going to find my prince?

I've kissed so many frogs that my lips are getting all dried up,

and I don't mean the ones on my face.

Oh.

But Anna,

it's not Yellow, Red, Pink or Green that I want. It's...

Go on, Chrissy.

It's you, Anna, I love you.

EASTENDERS' DRAMATIC DRUM BEAT

Hold your poses, boys.

ANNA LAUGHS

Yellow, I like this.

That was good. It's, like, and you're still in it.

Pink, is that the best you've got? Oh, no!

Like I don't smell a BAFTA, but well,

you do look like you're about to squeeze my boobies, though.

Well, Chrissy, after those staggering reactions,

one of these boys is going to have to be binned off. Yeah.

You're all so sexy.

I've made a decision.

And it's Pink.

Why Pink?

I think you're a bit too shy. I would actually do your head in.

Well, Chrissy, you are saying goodbye to Nige.

He's 55,

he's a civil servant from West London.

You've got... you actually look like a proper gentleman.

You're gorgeous and you're absolutely hilarious.

I think we'd have had a right laugh, but hey.

Nigel, I'm sorry... Thank you. ..but you're not going to be

Chrissy's leading man.

Well, I can't believe she says I'm shy.

I come on the telly with all these piercings.

She's having a laugh, ain't she?

This is the voice round.

I love accents. Oh?

My favourite accent is like Italian, Irish...

Can you do Italian?

IN AN ITALIAN ACCENT: Una pizza.

Una Pizza? Yeah, is that even Italian?

Well, I mean, it'll do. So, fellas, Chrissy is looking for husband number four.

If you wanted to be her leading man and propose to her,

what would you have to say?

I'm going to go Green.

Roses are Red, violets are Blue,

it only took me 28 years to find you.

Oh!

You're kind of like exotic. Where's that accent from?

I am from Moldova.

Where's that? Near Manchester.

Oh.

I would like to hear Red.

As a scaffolder, I'm into building.

If you choose me, we can build a future together.

Oh, it's giving me flutters in all the right places.

I like your voice

because it's soothing and it's sweet.

Yellow.

So, as a musician. I'm dying to play,

so I'd get down on my knees and I'd make your day.

I can imagine it, like by fire pit,

singing me these songs,

playing this instrument. So romantic!

Can you hold a tune then, Yellow? Can you hold a middle C?

SINGING: Bing, bing, bing.

Amazing.

I liked that.

Time to make a decision.

I've made a decision.

Red.

Why Red?

I think you're quite shy, but that's such an endearing quality.

So, this is Michael. He's 36,

he's a yard man from Somerset.

Michael, pop on down. Oh.

Would a date with Chrissy have been fun, Michael?

Yeah, would have been brilliant.

Yeah. Come on. Here you go, love.

Beautiful man. Oh, I love that.

Is it a bird, is it a plane? Well, I know she's not my Lois Lane.

Now listen, this is the point where you're going to have to go off,

and the next time the boys see you,

you're going to be completely in the buff. Get that boob tube off.

See you soon, boys.

Based on naked attraction, 41-year-old actress, Chrissy,

has whittled six potential dates down to two.

28-year-old courier, lon, and 33-year-old company director, Jason.

But only one can go on a date

to find out if there's chemistry when the clothes go on.

Congratulations, boys! You're the last two men standing.

Up until now, boys, you've seen Chrissy fully clothed.

All of that is about to change. In you come then, Chrissy, girl.

Wow! Give us a twirl.

You look absolutely incredible.

Aww. I'm all right, aren't 1?7 I mean, I wouldn't push me out of bed.

I love my boobs.

They're a bit wobbly, even though they're done.

Jason, what are you thinking of Chrissie?

Incredible.

Love the, like, proportions and, yeah, you're beautiful.

What do you think of the vulva? It's lovely.

Yeah, it's like neat and perfect.

Delicious. There's nothing that I don't like.

You like everything.

I'm planning.

So, Chrissy,

you're going to need to make a decision.

It's lon...

or Jason.

Who's it going to be?

It's going to be...

Jason.

Ion, I think you can come over here and give her a hug, though.

Oh, please give me a hug. Like, oh, my god.

Great to meet you.

Oh. So sexy.

Ion, take that beautiful body slowly through that arch.

It was no surprise for me that she didn't know where Moldova is.

I guess she'll never know.

Oh! Oh. Amazing.

I love your hair. Gorgeous.

I think you're going to have a laugh, you two.

Go and make sweet, sweet music through the arch of love.

Aww.

Bye. Yeah, her body's perfect, amazing.

Totally did not expect that.

I was like "ion's definitely got this in the bag."

It was like David and Goliath moment there and, thankfully, I was David.

He seems really romantic.

I liked his smile and he liked my vagina, so

it's a match made in heaven, right?

Oh. Nice to see you again.

You look amazing.

Aww, you too.

I was really excited to see him.

He looked really good in clothes. I fancied him.

And as soon as you said, "Musician" and I was like "Oh, my god!"

I think she's extremely good-looking,

very beautiful, and her body is perfect,

because |'ve seen it all.

Have you got anything non-alcoholic?

Oh, my god, you don't drink?

And I'm such a massive drinker. I don't drink, no.

I'm like quite into meditation and spirituality.

Quite spiritual, yeah, I was going to say.

I, kind of, hate that phrase, but...

...but I do a lot of meditation. He doesn't drink,

and then I've got like the porn star martini in my hand,

and he makes me feel like I'm a really naughty girl, which is hot.

Charcuterie? I've ordered vegetables.

Oh, no, I knew you were going to say that. Yeah. Look at this cliche.

I was like as soon as you were talking about it, I know.

...none-drinking, spiritual guy that doesn't eat meat.

And I'm a meat-eating cocktail drinker.

Quite like that I can walk through

a field full of cows and feel better to be like "Hi, guys, like, don't worry" like...

Yeah. Aww.

So, I do have a small surprise for you.

Is it a good surprise or a bad surprise?

Well, you'll have to judge. Oh, OK.

I've never been serenaded before.

# |'ve been lost all of my life... #

I think I've learnt over my 33 years to be yourself and just rock it.

# Looks like I've been here waiting for you... #

That was gorgeous. That was so beautiful, I loved it. Oh, thank you.

I could quite easily go "I really fancy you, snog me".

What do you like in the bedroom? Like... You're making me blush.

I want him to like lead it.

Otherwise it's just him following me

with his Wasabi peas. And I love Wasabi peas,

Good choice!

My sort of gut feeling is maybe, like, we're more, like,

like, more friend vibes?

Uh-huh.

I don't know what's just happened. It was like I don't get it.

I'll leave my salami platter. Yeah.

Absolutely devastated that I've not fallen in love like

a leaf off a tree.

Aww. It was so nice to meet you. You too.

It's not going to end in hot sex. See you later. See you. Bye. Bye.

Hi.

Hi! Hiya. How are you? How are you doing?

I'm fine, how are you? I'm very well, thank you.

How did the date go?

It started off OK. Like, I was really excited.

I don't know, I felt like you didn't flirt with me.

I felt like you didn't fancy me.

I definitely fancied you. We just seemed too different.

But I was so hurt. Like, when you completely pied me off

my ego was absolutely battered. I was like "Oh,no!"

Yeah, but I think you're beautiful,

but, for me, it was just, like, a gut feeling.

So it was like you think I'm hot

but you don't fancy my personality, or the way I am. That's so hurtful.

So, what's happened since then?

After we had been on our date,

all the guys from the pod had found me. Really?

And secretly messaged me

and asked me out. Piss off. Really?

Yeah. Do you think you might consider going out with any of them?

Yeah, I think so. Who? Which one?

You can't not fancy me and then be like "Who are you going out on a date with?" Yeah.

We're definitely not looking at wedding number four,

because like he had to fancy me for that to have happened, I think.

But no, I'm still looking for love.

#A, 8 CD, E Fyou.. #

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