Original subtitles

- Alistair McCleod.

So I feel it's time for me to move up to a paper

with more resources and wider readership, thank you.

- And the bulk of your experience

is on the Lochdubh and District Listener.

- Yes.

Obviously this would be a challenge,

but it's a challenge I think I'm ready for.

- Lockdubh,

wasn't there a big climbing accident up there last year?

- Yes.

Don Maxwell.

I guess there was a potential story there.

I went up on that trip.

- Really, good.

- Thank you.

- Sorry I don't remember your piece.

- No, I couldn't take full advantage of that story.

- Why not?

- Well there were reputations at stake,

and you know, personal reasons.

- Would you say scruples are an asset

in this business, Miss Sutherland?

There are some who would argue

reputations were there to be ruined.

- I do know my job.

- I'm sure you do!

But I suggest you come and see me next year.

Get one or two really meaty stories under your belt.

- Thank you.

the rest of the world

- How far?

- They call.

- He just came at me Hamish, I had no choice!

- Oh I'm sure it wasn't your fault, it's okay.

Did you see what it was?

- Well it was black!

- No, no, no, the make, the make.

- No idea.

- Everything's under control, Hamish.

We'll have this all sorted in a jiffy, boy.

- Look at her!

She was on her out Hamish, but this,

this is no way for her to go.

- Well I'm sure we can get her patched up for you, Neilly.

- No, no.

It's all over.

I know it, and she knows it.

I love this bus.

I've never told anybody that.

Do you think I'm daft, Hammy?

- No.

No I don't think you're daft.

- I think this might take us a little bit longer

than we first thought, Hamish.

- Is that Isobel?

It is Isobel.

- Hamish, Lachlan, Lachie.

Nice car, Isobel.

- Thanks, what happened to the bus?

- Some maniac forced Neil off the road.

- Is he alright?

- Oh a bit of shock, but I'm sure he'll be fine.

Oh good.

- Nothing a cup of tea'll not sort out.

- Thank heavens for tea, eh?

- Did you see her?

Isobel, it's amazing.

- You keep your mind in your work, boy!

- Don't you think she looked amazing, Hammish?

- Aye.

Just like Demi Moore in that film.

Now Lachie Junior.

- What was the name of that film?

- What film!

- The one where the guy paid her

a million dollars to spend the night with him?

- Hello darling.

- Testing.

Testing.

Right, this is your DJ.

LJ, your DJ.

Right, this is where we get groovin',

here in downtown Lochdubh.

- I'm not so sure about this, Lachlan.

- The boy's got to work a few things out of his system, eh?

- As long as he doesn't work the pinters out of my pub!

That's one pound 97, please.

- Oh thank you Barney.

Now you owe me two pounds for the sweeps lottery tickets

for yourself and Agnes.

- Alright, call it quits.

- Alright, right quits it is then.

Here so if you'll just give me the three P,

I'll right it down in my wee booky here.

- Three P.

- Hi. - Ah Esme, Rory.

- Good evening.

- Well well well, the time has come, the walrus said,

to talk of many things.

Like the two pounds you owe me

for this week's lottery tickets,

and they have been ordered this mornin' by them.

- Aye I've been meaning to have a word with you, Lachlan.

About this syndicate, I'm not certain

I want to continue with my membership.

- I'm afraid it's a bit late for that, Rory.

Aye, ya see it's all set.

The numbers are chosen!

See I would have to completely rework my whole system

to accommodate one less player, you understand.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

The die is cast I'm afraid.

- But it's months since we've started,

and our biggest winner's been 10 pounds.

- This is for both of us.

- Thank you, Esme.

Always a pleasure.

- His system.

It's a lot of mumbo jubmo, that's what it is!

- Think what we could do if we win!

- Down, down, get on down.

- Chance'd be a fine thing.

The only thing more unlikely is Lachie Junior there

becoming a successful disc jockey.

- The boy's trying.

Remember how you started up, Rory?

- Two shells and a couple of tins

from that wholesalers over in Inverness?

- And now, look at you.

- I'm doing well, aren't I?

- Real bad, bad, bad.

Real bad.

- What would you do Hammish, if we won?

- What the lottery?

Well I'm not holding my breath.

- Oh come one.

Musta crossed your mind.

Must be something you want.

Bigger house, new car?

- Well a boat.

I always fancied a boat.

You can just jump in it,

and escape to some deserted island.

- We could go back to our island.

I'd like that.

- Aye.

- Jock.

Ruff!

Alright John.

We've have enough of checking this box.

- Hey, Hamish.

What would you do if we won the lottery?

- Book a trip to Mars.

- No seriously!

I am being serious, I'd book a trip to Mars

or anywhere that was near lottery.

Fill up your liver.

- Well I think it's about time you started listenin'.

- Get out!

Course the syndicate's got you in.

I don't think so.

- No but I think we are!

It's in the tea leaves.

- Oh I don't believe this,

you know there's never a conversation

in this village of anything else!

- Well don't say I didn't warn ya!

Tell you what John.

- What?

- See if I win,

actually even if I don't win,

you know what I'm gonna buy you?

- What?

- A tea spinner.

Aw come on John, don't go in a huff!

Right, tell me, what would ya buy if you won?

- A house.

I'd buy a house.

Now that I'm spendin' less time at the station,

the caravan seems a bit small.

- Aye.

Well see ya later, laddie.

- No you won't, actually.

- And why not?

- Well it's your special anniversary dinner tonight.

- Aye so it is.

I'll see you tomorrow, eh?

Get out of my way.

- Okay love, cheers.

Look after yourself.

How's yourself then, Isobel?

- Fine thanks, Gloria.

Listen any chance of getting Eddie to develop these for me?

- Does it not work in the dark room at the Listener?

- Yeah it is but we have no developer

and I was on my way to the Cnothan Hotel

so I thought I'd come here.

- The hotel?

Yeah, I'm joining the gym.

- The gym?

- Yeah, and I'd quite like these in a rush.

- Right.

First thing Monday be alright?

- No I was hoping sometime today.

- Today?

No, no that would be extra.

- Fine.

- Very well.

- Will I come back in an hour?

- An hour?

Can you not make it two?

You alright then?

- Yes, thanks.

- Can I just suggest that you bring your feet

up to the bench for more back support.

- Okay, thanks.

- That's better.

Don't hurt yourself either.

- Sorry.

- No, no, no it's me should be sorry!

- Are ya alright?

- Yeah, I'll survive.

- Listen, would you fancy go for a drink?

- Oh no.

No, I would.

Yeah, why not?

Thanks.

- There's nothing he can do, Hamish.

She was on her last legs anyway.

He's giving me a report saying

she was in good nick before the accident,

then there'll be some insurance to collect.

- How much do you think they'll pay?

- Oh about 300?

- So do you live around here then?

- Yeah, no.

Do you wanna sit there, yeah?

- Yeah.

- Yeah no, not in Cnothan.

Lochdubh.

It's not far.

- So what do you do, then?

- Journalism.

- Really?

I used to be in journalism.

- Now did you?

- I'm in PR now but I started out in journalism.

- Oh it may be an exaggeration to call

the Lochdubh District Listener journalism.

- Oh it can't be any worse than the paper I started on.

It was a nightmare.

You know weddings, cake competitions.

- I do cattle auctions.

- I even had to make up the horoscope.

The things we do for love, eh?

- Yeah.

I'm beginning to think that love

is not a good enough reason to stay.

I'm thinking of leaving.

I went for an interview today, on a proper paper.

- Did you get it?

- No they said I had too many scruples.

- Oh yeah?

- Probably.

- Unfortunately the more scruples you have,

the less you earn.

It's a simple equation.

Well once again, I'm sorry I crashed into ya earlier.

- It's okay, don't worry.

- I don't suppose there's any chance

of crashing into ya again, is there?

- Are you staying here?

- For a few days, yeah.

- Something's come up and I don't know how busy I'll be.

- Well I don't have much on tomorrow.

- Okay.

- Will ya ring me?

- Yeah, I might.

Thanks for the drink.

- Yeah, bye.

- Bye.

- Darling!

- Hello Alex, door was open, I suppose Hamish isn't in?

- No, sorry Isobel.

Can I take a message?

- No, it's something I need to speak to him about.

Will he be back later?

- Well I'm cooking dinner, so.

- Alex, it is quite important.

- Is it a police matter?

- No it's not, but I still need to speak to Hamish--

- So.

Why not leave a message?

- Well it's a favor, you know.

- Look Isobel, please don't take this the wrong way.

But this is my home.

- Yeah, and it used to be the police station.

- Isobel.

- Hamish, I'm only here, I'm just asking--

- Hamish, Isobel wants to ask you a favor.

But I was hoping that it could wait until tomorrow

seeing as how we're nearly ready to eat.

- Well.

- Forget it!

- Oh for heaven's sake!

- God!

Can I speak to Gary Ross please?

Oh, in that case can I leave him a message?

- You rang, milady.

- So what do you think?

- Where did this happen?

- Up on the Glen Raddick Road.

It's a couple of miles north.

- I have no idea.

But when they saw me, they came after me.

- Have you been to the police?

- No.

No I want to find out what's happening first.

- Find the story, eh?

- Yeah.

Then I'll take it to the police.

Besides our constable here,

he is his own man.

- So what's the plan then?

- Well there's a registration number on that car, see?

I want to try and trace it.

- Let me make a few calls.

- Could you?

- I've still got some journalist friends.

They've all got police contacts.

- Then, I'll give you the number.

Hi Isobel.

- Hiya.

- Listen, I'm sorry about yesterday.

- No don't apologize Hamish.

We all know where we stand.

- What was it you wanted?

- Oh it was nothing.

Am I disturbing ya?

- No not really.

Gary.

Hello?

- This is PC Macbeth.

Gary Ross.

- Pleased to meet ya.

- How ya doin'?

Gary's helping me with a story.

- Sutherland and Ross, eh?

- Very funny.

- Well I'll be off then.

- Yeah, bye.

- You didn't have to hide.

- I didn't want to damage your reputation.

- Oh well it's time a few reputations were damaged.

- You're not quite over him yet, are ya?

- No, I am.

- Listen,

why don't ya give me a couple of hours and,

maybe I can take ya for lunch?

- You get the number and I'll supply the lunch.

- Okay.

- Meet you what, at the pub?

12:30?

- Okay.

- Okay.

Problem, Officer?

- Well I hope not.

Mind if I give ya a bit of advice?

I think you're gonna anyway.

See Isobel,

a bit mixed up just now.

- Really?

Seemed pretty on the ball to me.

- There ya are, darlin'.

Bye now.

- Morning Barney.

- Right.

How'd the dinner go last night?

- It was fine, thank you.

Nice.

- Good.

Good morning ladies.

Have you heard the bus is out of order?

- No we hadn't!

Oh thank you dear, we just want our lottery tickets.

- Dear, lovely boy.

- Oh he's a lovely boy!

- Hamish's Taxi Service.

- Hi Esme.

- Oh Alex!

How did it go?

- Oh fine, thank you.

- Did you have a good evening?

- Hello Alex.

- Lachie if you're going to ask me how last night went.

- No, no.

No a romantic dinner between two people is a private thing.

And it's not for the village to be gossiping about it.

Well that's what we agreed.

- Lachie this is a very close knit village, isn't it?

- It is.

- And do you think I fit in here?

- You're the Major's daughter.

- That's what I mean.

Do you think I belong in the big house?

- Of course you do, Alex.

- Can I have an orange juice please, Barn?

- Certainly can.

- Ah Isobel!

Eh I noticed now that we haven't had

the pleasure of your company in the lottery syndicate.

- No, I'm for making my own luck at the moment, Lachlan.

- Well maybe next week, eh?

- Barney, you know about cars, don't you?

- Yeah.

- Do you know what make this is?

- Some sort of prototype.

That's not on the market yet, could be anything.

See, they took the grill off and changed the badge,

so you can't identify the make.

Where'd you get this?

- Can't really say just now.

- Oh yeah?

You could sell that you know?

Yep, to magazines.

Here ya are.

Spy shot.

- Could I borrow this?

- Yeah, sure.

- I'd like it back.

Hey there, Barney.

- Hamish.

- Isobel.

- How's it?

- Can I have a word?

been making a few inquiries about your Mr Ross.

- He's not my Mr Ross.

- Well it seems he's got a criminal record.

- What for?

- Possession of cannabis, 1986.

- What and they've released him already?

Oh come on, Hamish.

- Come on, you know what I mean!

He's a smug, smarmy,

you know what I'm sayin'.

- No I don't.

He treats me with respect, takes me seriously.

And I'm sorry, but I like that.

Any luck?

- On the car?

It is rented, they're still trying to find out

who rented it but it'll take time.

Do I still get lunch?

- Half a lunch, come on.

- Hamish!

Hamish, just a minute!

Now listen to me, if you don't mind.

- Can I help you?

- Wow this is really beautiful.

- Yeah, it's pretty.

- You know if you got a job,

the kind of job that you're after,

you'd have to kiss all this goodbye.

- It gets claustrophobic to be honest.

- What, with all this space?

- All this space.

- Do you know there are more people living where I am

in the borough of Canton, than the whole of the highlands?

- I'd like that.

Anonymity.

- Ah you're just saying that.

You just need to be appreciated.

- True.

The Isobel Sutherland Fan Club

has a very limited membership.

- Can I join?

- Yeah.

- Can I be president?

- Shut up!

- Hamish!

- See ya later.

See ya.

- 'Kay.

- Well you know what they say!

- What do they say?

- Fast man, fast car.

- He's helping me with a story, Flora.

- Aye, well.

I hope you'll warn me in advance

the next time the engineers are coming.

- What engineers?

- To service the enlarger.

And me worked fearly off my feet!

- Hamish?

Hamish!

There we are, Hamish! - Oh deary early!

- How do?

- You look fantastic!

- Oh, thanks.

- It's a good thing your husband's alive and well.

- Heehee!

- You look great.

- 10, 16,

27,

and one and three, 13.

- Did you get any further with the registration?

- Still no luck, I'm afraid.

You can get a friendly policeman

to run a number check for you,

but getting em to ring a rental company's a bit harder.

- Yeah.

Something else happened today.

- What?

- While we were havin' lunch,

some men turned up at the Listener and

they pretended to be service engineers for the dark room.

- What, looking for your film?

- Yeah, I think so.

- Did they get it?

- No.

- Is it somewhere safe?

- Yeah.

- I've got a bad feeling about that one.

- Aye.

- Are you going to arrest him?

- Well it's good John, but unfortunately I can't arrest him

based on a bad feeling.

- Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you

to put your hands together for Mr Rory Campbell.

- Oh dear.

- What?

- Karaoke.

Do you want to go?

- Only if you want to, might be fun.

- No, let's go.

Cheers.

- Cheers.

- So.

- So.

- Are going to kiss me?

Release those balls!

So here we go, this week's lottery draw

at 12 minutes past eight.

First ball to be drawn tonight is.

Number three! - Three.

- Number three!

Next up.

Number 14!

Only been drawn twice this year.

The third ball. - Hamish!

What's the matter? - It's number 11!

- 11! - Nothing.

Number 20!

Number one!

June the 3rd, now this one could make your weekend.

It's number 40!

And that's the number that can make someone

very, very happy tonight!

- I've won the lottery!

Yes!

- Yes!

- It's good to be you.

- Aye.

- I'm sorry.

It's just too soon.

- I understand.

I should go then.

- No, no don't do that.

Do you mind just keeping me company?

I'm sorry.

I know this sounds silly but,

those men coming to the Listener.

I'm a bit frightened.

- Oh I don't think that's a very good idea, sir.

- Why not?

- Well a couple of glasses of wine in the Lochdubh,

a bottle to take away, I'd say you're miles over the limit.

I suggest you give me your car keys.

Well I could just arrest you

for being drunk in charge of a motor vehicle.

- I'll just see if Isobel'll put me up for the night.

- No, no, I think you should

come back to the station with me,

and I'll give you a cell for the night.

- So you're arrestin' me?

- Did I say I was going to arrest you?

Now why would I want to arrest you?

Come on.

- Barney?

How do you feel?

We won the lottery!

First thing tomorrow morning, I hit the shops.

Paris!

New York!

Rome!

Milano!

Knightsbridge!

I'm so excited!

- Oh god.

- All I'm saying is, I'd like one more shop.

You know, more frontage!

Is there nothing else in your life, Rory!

- Well perhaps a gift shop.

You know I've always wanted to diversify

into other businesses!

It was my money bought the ticket!

I want to go on a cruise!

I want to spend some time with you!

We don't know how much we've won!

There might be enough for a cruise.

Oh, who would look after Rory Campbell, TLC?

- Good point.

Very good point!

Perhaps we'll have to put the cruise on hold!

- Do you think we could build a little place on that island?

You know do we need permission?

- I don't know, Darlin'.

- I'm going to check on it tomorrow.

Eh, what do you think?

- Alex, look.

Sometimes,

I feel as though I need somewhere that I can.

Well sometimes I'm just pretty bad company,

you know what I mean?

- What are you saying?

- I'm saying sometimes I feel like the walls

are just pressing in on me here, you know?

- When you talked about escaping, did you mean from me?

- No, why should it mean from you?

I just meant escapin' that's it.

- Gary?

- And I was wondering what the price

for your cooking oil was?

- On a Sunday?

- So if when you get the message,

you could let me know please, my name is Meldon,

and the number is oh one, nine double five.

Sorry about that, it's the missus, now look.

About this Roman theme weekend, how much is it?

And for that, all the girls?

That's what I'd heard!

And the Emperor's Suite, how much is that?

And for that you get?

Emperor's Privileges?

No, no, no, no, no, it's not too dear.

Look,

you reserve the Emperor's Suite,

and I'll confirm it tomorrow, okay?

- I've got four drums of cooking oil.

- I've just been informed that we actually

are amply supplied with cooking oil.

But if you wouldn't mind sending the price list anyway.

Thank you.

- Caza Zoot's

Roman theme weekend.

- I was going to invite you too.

Darling!

- Esme!

Esme!

What?

- I need the lavatory.

- Tough!

- Of course it's not big,

but when you've been used to the caravan.

- No, no it's a good size!

Would you mind if I had a look in the bathroom?

- Well not at all!

- How much did you win by the way?

- Well we don't know that yet.

- Because I was thinking maybe we've

underpriced the cottage by an edge.

- What do you mean?

- I've been advised to ask for a wee bit more.

- How much more?

- Hamish?

- Yeah.

- Who is in the cell?

- Drunk driver.

Kind of.

- Just tell me one thing.

Is that the man who was with Isobel?

- Yes.

- Fine.

Come here.

- What?

- You locked someone up for seeing Isobel.

- No, I'm not arresting him,

I just gave him a bed for the night!

- Did you kick his headlights in as well?

Oh dear!

- Butter fingers.

- I said I'm sorry.

Yeah.

- John.

- Give us a pint will ya?

- Right.

Had any thoughts about--

- Oh don't ask.

Rory.

- I've come to use the lavatory.

Help yourself.

- It's Esme.

- Say no more.

Gary.

- Ladies and gentlemen of Lochdubh,

I have some bad news.

Oh no, no, no, that's not.

Friends, friends, friends that's better.

Friends of Lochdubh,

I have some disappointing news regarding our recent win

on the national lottery.

Lachlan Macrae you are a total planker!

Hamish!

- Aye?

Listen look, I know, I know, I'm sorry.

He's in the cell.

- Gary?

Aye.

- Good.

What?

- Hey Lachlan.

- Hamish.

See what it is I've,

I've got myself into a bit of a corner you know.

- God you know I trusted you.

God I took you into my house!

- I'm really sorry Isobel.

What can I say, it's just the game.

- No what's the game, what!

You lie and you cheat your way into people's lives!

Just for a few photos!

- Embarrassing photos.

Our new car in a ditch, the UK boss whacking the designer,

that would really help the launch.

Get real Isobel, it's--

- Oh come on, me get real!

- Listen.

Those photographs are worth a lot more to us

than they could ever be to you.

You could be a lot richer today than you were yesterday.

- God you know the only thing that disappoints me,

it's not a big enough story.

It's not big enough you and your stinking company

clean out of the water.

- No but it's big enough to lose me my job.

- Oh well, there's always the cake competitions

to fall back on.

He's all yours, Hamish.

You can charge him with theft from my house

and conspiracy to burgal the Listener.

Oh and ask him if he knows anything

about running Neil off the road.

What's the matter at him?

- You are lookin' at a dead man.

- Have you ever had that thought, he's sleeping.

And you've got a big pair of scissors,

and you're so angry with him, you just.

Cut it off?

- Yes.

- Yes.

- Yes!

- Well.

We won.

- Yes.

- Come on everybody.

This is supposed to be a celebration.

How about a little music to get the show on the road?

I'll take it that's a no then.

Ladies and gentlemen, a big hand for the man

who organized this syndicate, my dad Mr Lachlan--

- That's fine then.

Don't.

Hey folks.

Well, well.

Ladies and gentlemen of Lochdubh.

Friends of Lochdubh.

I'll need myself and Lachie Junior here.

See what it is, I've got a wee confession to make

to you all.

I was helping Neil get the bus out the ditch the other day

and I threw my coat on the ground.

See, and our winning lottery ticket, it was in the pocket,

and it definitely was in the pocket of the jacket.

Thank you Hamish.

- Listen, I think what Lachlan's trying to say is that,

well maybe we haven't won the lottery after all.

- What!

But the rest is good news here, good news.

- What good news?

The lottery was worth millions!

- Aye.

Well Lachlan here has managed to persuade

an anonymous benefactor to replace the community bus.

- And it's a brand new bus!

- Holy smoke!

- A bus?

- A bus?

- A brand, brand, brand new bus.

- So when will I get the negatives?

- When we get the bus.

- You owe us Gary.

You did run it off the road.

- Well how do I know you won't publish?

- You don't.

- You're losing a few of those scruples now,

aren't ya Isobel?

- No I don't think so.

A new bus is worth more to the village

than the story is to my career.

A simple equation.

- Sorry.

- Sorry.

- Friends?

- Friends.

- I'll wash,

and you serve?

I'll wash later.

- Don't say it.

I told you so.

- I told you so.

Look, it coulda been Gandhi and I wouldn'ta liked him.

- Yeah you wouldn'ta locked him up though.

- I don't know.

Hamish!