Original subtitles

Meredith: For decades, if we wanted to see inside the brain,

we had to inject air into a patient's spinal column.

Bartender: What can I get you?

Uh, scotch, please.

Thank you.

It was painful.

♪ Show me where your darkness lies ♪

It was described as torture.

♪ You don't ever have to hide ♪

♪ Oh, you can be yourself ♪

♪ Yeah, you can be yourself ♪

Then in 1971,

a British engineer changed everything

when he performed the first CT scan.

♪ Oh, you can be yourself ♪

♪ Yeah, you can be yourself ♪

What's on your mind?

Come on, spill.

♪ I don't care where it goes ♪

Simone, what happened at your wedding?

No, don't do that.

Let's...

♪ Who knows you better? ♪

Stay here as long as we can.

♪ Who could love you any more? ♪

♪ You can trust me completely ♪

♪ I'm just asking for you ♪[ Cellphone chimes ]

[ Groans ]

♪ To be yourself ♪

♪ Oh, you can be yourself ♪

♪♪♪

Schmitt's tied up in the ICU.

Wants me to cover the pit.

♪ Oh, and I don't care who wins ♪

I should probably check on Tobey anyway.

♪ Yeah, you can be yourself ♪

♪ I'm in love with all your pages ♪

♪ I don't want to see it end ♪

♪ Oh, you can be yourself ♪

And for the first time,

we could see what was happening inside the brain.

It was painless, convenient,

and an absolute game-changer.

Eight pounds, seven ounces.

[ Laughs ]

And Kelly?

Cursing me.

She only let me out of the house to come visit you

because I promised to bring home a chai latte and nipple cream.

Oh, we actually sell both of those things

right here at the hospital.

♪ You can trust me completely ♪

What's his name?

Sam.

It was Kelly's idea.

[ Chuckles ]

I'll come by tomorrow.

I'll be here.

Ohh...

Don't let him bother you too much. [ Laughs ]

The wedding was shorter than expected.

Dr. Lincoln sent me to tag you out.

Oh, it's okay. I got it.

But he said that... I got it.

You can go.

You're in black scrubs.

That means at this moment, you are an OB resident.

Dr. Lincoln is an attending.

Technically speaking, he outranks you,

so if I'm good at my job...

Yasuda, in any color scrubs, I outrank you.

Go cover the pit.

♪ Be yourself ♪

[ Sighs ]

♪ Oh, you can be yourself ♪

[ Sighs ]

Wow.

That guy really doesn't want you to be alone with me.

What's the story?

But just because we could now see inside a person's brain...

doesn't mean we know what it's thinking.

Okay, so I'm guessing you all received

the same cryptic text that I did.

More rude than cryptic. Didn't even open with a hello.

I'm hoping for a tour.

Meredith: Sample A is identical.

It could... It could be a technical error.

Meredith? This doesn't make sense.

It literally does not make sense.

It's all wrong.

What is?

Everything.

Are you... okay?

We have to question everything we know about Alzheimer's

if we're gonna cure it.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

Blue: She was fine. She was better than fine.

Well, her fractured rib must've nicked her lung

and caused the pneumothorax.

Okay, we intubated her. We re-inflated her lung.

Why isn't her pressure rising?

I don't know. Maybe because she's 81.

They don't exactly bounce back, Kwan.

She will, though. She has to.

We need to report this to Dr. Altman.

We need to document everything that happened

because the ethics committee will need it.

Okay, well, what if we wean her off the sedatives?

Can we extubate?

[ Monitor alarm ]Damn it, her pressure's still too low.

Oh, no. She's not responding to fluids.

Jules: Max. Oh, my God.

When I left, she was fine. I don't understand.

Her lung collapsed.

She's DNI. Why is she intubated?

Who did this?

Who did it?!

It was me.

Over there. Great. Thank you.

Helm, you're back?

I was in the getaway van, and now I have to pee.

I don't know what that means, but there's a trauma coming in.

Yes, I'll change! I'll change.

I mean, I'll go change.

Yeah. Hey, grab a gown. Let's go.

Got it.

What do we got?

29-year-old male, GCS 15, MVC.

Vehicle spun out of control and hit a tree.

Suffered facial bruising...

Man: It's okay, I'm a doctor.

I-I just think it's my arm. It feels broken.

And yes, potential injury to the left arm. Owen: Got it.

Adams, page ortho. Let's get him inside.

Let's go.

♪♪♪

Uh...

Her BP isn't responding to fluids.

We need to put her on pressors

if we're going to keep her alive.

Great, more things she didn't want. Max was very clear.

She was DNI and DNR,

and Dr. Kwan blatantly ignored that.

You can't keep going against her wishes.

Before you do anything else,

you need to speak with Maxine's medical proxy.

I can call her son.

Her medical proxy isn't her son.

It's... you.

[ Sighs ]

Then it's Dr. Millin's decision.

You either put her on pressors,

or you extubate her and hope for the best.

Pressors will keep her alive longer,

but it's more about considering her...

Can you please just be quiet for a minute?

I need to think.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Dr. Altman, is there a chance she'll make it

if we remove the tube?

You know I can't answer that.

Uh, fine. We'll put her on pressors.

I'm on it. Don't talk to me.

Okay.

Um, Schmitt?

Do you think that you could just look inside my mouth

and see if there's like an abscess or... or anything?

I mean, it... It's on the left side.

On the bottom.

A-A-Anything?

No, but... but respectfully, Chief, I'm not a dentist.

[ Clears throat ]

So, there's just too much history.

We're better as friends.

Well, that explains why the doctor who saved my life

now looks like he wants to kill me.

He's in love with you.

Oh, no.

He's not. He's... He's...

He's living with you, raising his kid with yours,

learning sign language?

As a friend.

No guy does all that for a woman who's just a friend.

Well, you don't understand our friendship.

Youdon't understand your friendship.

It's not like that.

And honestly, I'm getting a little tired

of having to explain this to people.

Okay. Okay.

I owe my life to Dr. Lincoln,

so I should probably get out of his way.

But he's had years to figure out what I did in just minutes.

You're an amazing woman, Dr. Jo Wilson,

and in a few weeks,

when I'm not hooked up to all these machines

and you are no longer my doctor,

I'm gonna sweep you off your feet like you deserve.

I should check on my other patients.

Good.

You're chatting my ear off, and I need to rest.

[ Chuckles ]

Woman over PA: Dr. Sky to the NICU.

Dr. Akira Sky to the NICU.

Are you ready?

What? Ah, ready, yes.

Ready to kick cancer's ass and go back to work.

That's right.

I took a couple days off

when I decided on the mastectomy instead of a lumpectomy.

Good. But at least this way,

I don't need radiation five days a week.

Right. How are you?

You here to spill more tea? Let's hope not.

A failed wedding is enough for one day.

[ Chuckling ] Alright.

Oh, spoke too soon.

I'll check on you in recovery.

Okay.

Thanks.

Hi. Trey's here.

Here, as in in this hospital here? Now?

Yeah, he came in as a patient in trauma one.

Oh, my God. It's just a minor car accident

with a possible arm fracture...

Crap.

Simone, it's minor!

Woman over PA: Dr. Burchfield to Pediatrics.

Dr. Benita Burchfield to Pediatrics.

The pressors seem to be working.

Max is stable.

For now.

She was sitting there talking,

and then all of a sudden, she couldn't breathe,

and I had to make a split-second decision,

and I chose to save her life.

Life?

I mean, look at her.

That's not life for her.

In fact, she considers that not life

to the degree that she had legal papers drawn up,

and then she signed them.

It's in her chart, it's on a board in her room,

it's on her bracelet.

It is not for you to choose.

You have any idea the position that you've put me in?

If we can't extubate, I'll have to decide

whether we put in a trach or a feeding tube.

And then if that doesn't work,

I might have to decide

to unplug my favorite person in the world.

Where is she? Is she here?

Just let us finish assessing you.

Trey, you have a left comminuted humeral fracture.

It's gonna require a plate in order to...

Align and stabilize the bone.

Can I still operate or not?

He's a second-year surgical resident in Baltimore.

Is this your dominant hand?

No.Well, you'll be fine.

We'll know more about your recovery once we get in there.

Yeah. This could be bad.

Trey, I'm so sorry.

You two know each other? Don't ask.

It's because of him, isn't it?

Trey.

Piece of crap.

Whoa! Hey! Hey, hey!

That's my dominant hand.

♪♪♪

Most people believe that Alzheimer's is related

to the formation of amyloid plaque in the brain.

People, as in, the top scientists in the field.

You mean the people with the loudest voices,

and they will shame anyone who believes any other theory

other than the plaque theory,

and that's where most of the funding goes.

And the only meds that are approved

are meds that reduce plaque,

and those meds are supposedly reducing the plaque.

Woop!

Is that not a good thing?

Well, it would be if we could trust

everything that's being published.

I met a young neuroscientist out of Tennessee,

and he found evidence of image-tampering

in some of the leading papers.

How long is she gonna do this?

I need to present an award.

Meredith, when's the last time you slept?

Well, Jackson had to go to London to manage a crisis,

so I called all of you here

because you all know me better than anyone else does.

And I need to run this past you before I tell anyone else.

Run what past us?

My possible new theory on Alzheimer's.

Let me show you more data.

Oh, thank God!

Winston, Winston, hey! Can you help me?

I'm trying to fasten my dress, and Meredith keeps texting me.

[ Door closes ]

You look...

Whew.

That's a dress.

And your hair...

Wow.

Wow, yourself.

Um... here.

Yeah.

Uh, congratulations. Chief of Cardio.

Yeah, well, uh, the previous chief

left me a disorganized mess.

Schedule's color-coded by surgeon.

[ Laughs ]

Grand rounds topics are set until next year,

possible case studies are labeled by procedure.

Yeah. It's a catastrophe.

[ Sighs ] [ Clears throat ]

Thank you.

You're welcome.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

You know I'm Team Skywalker.

Why do I get a sense there's a "but" coming?

I just got a second chance and hit my stride,

the chief respects me,

and I don't need to get dragged down

into a fight over you and Griffith.

Well, I'm the one who got punched.

And I can't live in a house where people are fighting.

I'm gonna be working and living with a couple again,

just like in college.

Okay, I...

So, we need some ground rules.

No sex in shared spaces,

no remnants of sex in shared spaces,

no auditory anything

'cause I need at least three full REM cycles

per night to kick ass at work,

and I refuse to not kick ass at work.

I need an intern for Trey's surgery.

Maybe not you.

Yasuda, call up and make sure that they're ready for us, okay?

On it.

Keep an eye on Sam Sutton for me.

Sure.

How long have you two been...

It wasn't like that. I never cheated on you.

But you have feelings for him.

I didn't leave you for another man.

I didn't. I left...

because I...

I'm not the person I was when we got together.

After everything that's happened,

blowing up my life in Baltimore,

moving here... it's changed me.

I'm...

I'm a different person. I want different things.

You mean you want Adams.

What I don't understand is you said yes.

You moved up the wedding.

Was any of it real?

After Baltimore.

I mean, did you still love me?

Yes.

Then we can get through this.

Trey.

I'll move here. We'll slow things down.

We can figure it out.

I've figured it out already. This isn't what I want.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

You're an incredible person,

and I'm sorry I let it drag on this long.

I wanted to do the right thing.

I was confused, and...

Let me clear something up.

Adams isn't good enough for you.

He's a screw-up.

He'll never learn because he has a family name to back him up.

And if you decide to be with him,

your whole trajectory changes.

Your life will fall apart, and I'm not gonna be there

to help you pick up the pieces.

[ Siren wailing in distance ]

Levi: Max's pressure has improved,

and we're weaning her off pressors.

Hopefully, we'll be able to do a sedation pause

and neuro exam soon.

What if she doesn't wake up? What happens next?

Let's just try not to think about that right now, okay?

Why aren't you yelling at me right now?

[ Chuckles ]

Last year, I killed a patient

because I was sure I knew how to save him,

and I didn't.

I learned more from that mistake than any of the wins,

not because somebody yelled at me,

but because it ate at me.

I would lie awake at night...

feeling the blood all over me

and how the... how the scalpel felt in my hand,

replaying it over and over in my mind.

I don't have to yell at you because I've been there,

and I know you're already doing it to yourself.

I saved a life.

I didn't end one.

[ Sighs ]

He's making it really hard not to yell at him.

[ Winston laughs ]

Maggie: What?

Olympic Village.

Ah.

"Assemble the greatest talents in the world

and put them in one building."

Yeah, feels like it was so long ago now.

Still one of the best nights of my life.

Alright, let's do it.

Lightning round... Don't think, just answer.

But we already know each other.

Oh. Okay.

[ Both laugh ]

Alright, if you had a dog, what would you name it?

Oh. Ruth.

[ Chuckles ]

For a dog?

Why not?

Alright, a million dollars...

What would you do with it?

New boots.

[ Laughs ] It's free money.

You don't have to get what you need.

I don't need them, I want them.

And you don't know what kind of boots I'm considering.

[ Laughs ]

Fair, alright.

Okay, your turn. Okay.

Dog's name? Marlin.

Oh, that's a good name for a dog.

Yeah.

A million dollars?

I'd build a time machine.

I could go back in time and tell my mom

I was nominated for a Catherine Fox Award.

Your answers are so much better than mine.

[ Laughs ]

We should get dressed and check in with Mer

before the pre-reception for the nominees.

These things never start on time.

Nick: Wow.

What he said.

Meredith, this is huge.

Right?

And you can't tell anyone outside of this room.

Well, Catherine asked me to speak

to the fundraisers tonight, update them on my work.

If you tell them this, you'll be written off.

Doctors who blow up pre-existing ideas, sound ideas,

they're not seen as "cutting edge."

They're seen as crazy.

And not only will you jeopardize your relationship

with the foundation,

you could destroy your entire career.

And if... ifyou're right,

it's gonna take you five years to prove it

and another five years to be widely accepted.

By then, you'll no longer be published

or invited to conferences.

You will be forgotten.

You see it.

You see the data.

You have to admit there is the possibility

that the plaque is not causing Alzheimer's.

I see inconsistencies.

But, Mer, what you are hypothesizing

insults decades of genius work.

It insults Derek's work.

If this institute is important,

if... if... if you want it to continue,

you have to keep all of this to yourself.

So should I not pursue my work?

Should we just let the science catch up

and let hundreds of thousands of people die?

That would be lying.

No. No, it's not lying. It's, uh... It's discretion.

Look, I-I want you to pursue your work.

Just do it on the side so that your lab stays open.

I mean, if you make this public,

there's a possibility you could lose your funding

and your reputation.

Maintain the respect that you have built for yourself.

♪♪♪

It's a protein identification system.

It uses electricity to push tissue samples through...

With protein through a gel which separates the molecules.

Yeah, I know.

As a fellow, I did a lot of bench research

and spent way too many hours on one of these things.

Interns seem to be doing well.

Lucas says you've been very supportive.

Yeah, you know, we... we... We don't have to do this.

Do what?

Small talk. We don't have to do it.

We just don't have to.

I-I told you I loved you, you pretended not to hear me.

It doesn't matter anymore.

We've both moved on, and you're happy out here.

That's good.

And you're clearly breaking new ground.

What would you do? Would you lie?

[ Exhales deeply ]

Oh, I don't know.

I guess it would depend on how badly

I needed the money to keep the work going.

But I don't know, did you really come all this way

just to... just to follow the rules?

'Cause that would piss me off even more.

Woman: Just have his doctors call.

You've done enough already.

[ Click ]

Everything okay?

That was Trey's mom.

I just told her he's in surgery.

How'd that go?

They're really mad at me.

Well, it's not your fault that he got into an accident... It is, Lucas.

He was coming here to see me because I blew up his life,

and now he's a surgeon with a shattered arm.

Well, Lincoln will do the repair...

And you got punched... I'm fine.

And the money that my dad gave me for the catering...

Hey, don't think about that now.

None of this would have happened if it weren't for me.

What, are you supposed to just marry someone you're not in love with?

Stop trying to let me off the hook, Lucas.

I hurt people.

[ Sighs ]

Sorry.

It's fine.

It's complicated. I get that.

I should go. Wait, Lucas, I really...

No, I mean, uh, Yasuda asked me to check on Sam Sutton,

so text me if you need me.

I really understand what you love about Maxine.

She's not just a funny, sweet old lady.

She's brave.

She's like no one I've ever met,

and she's generous with her advice.

And the way she gives it...

reminds me a little of my mom.

She worries about me.

She doesn't always come out and say it, but...

she'll leave a plate of food out,

a cup of tea, sunscreen.

She'll "accidentally" wash my towels

or bake my favorite muffins.

She...

She worries.

My own parents never really did that for me.

[ Gasps ] She's awake.

Max.

Max, Max, Max.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

Can you hear me? Don't touch the tube.

I know, I know, I know.

Relax, relax.

I'm here, I'm here. Relax, relax.

It's okay, it's okay.

Woman: Please take your seats.

The awards show will begin shortly.

Yes, this is a room filled with medical genius...

Hi! [ Laughs ]

It's so good to see all of you.

Mwah! Hi!

I thought we were going to see you at Meredith's lab.

Well, you know, work called.

I got stuck.

Mm-hmm.

Can I come and see it tomorrow?

Of course.

Catherine: There she is!

I need to borrow Meredith just for two minutes.

Darling... Yes.

The money table is over here.Mm-hmm.

I need you to come and just give them an update on your work,

uh, say thank you, and smile.

Easy.Easy.

Nick: Good luck.

Amelia, you're worse than my two boys.

No phones at the table.

Amelia: It's Mer's research.

As promised, I wanted to introduce all of you

to Dr. Meredith Grey.

Pleasure to meet all of you.

Kenneth Turner, CEO of Rivco.

I have been following your work for years.

I'm so appreciative of what you're doing.

My mother was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's

about a year ago.

It's been extraordinarily difficult,

but you have been a source of hope.

Any insider news into your progress?

♪♪♪

Um...

I do believe that we have been focused on...

On the wrong thing,

which means your money is not being well-spent.

Dr. Grey.

Well, the current studies and the dominant theories

and the goal of the new treatments...

I believe are designed on a faulty premise.

Max, I know you're scared.

We are going to get you more meds right now.

Uh, yeah, yeah, of course.

Okay. Here.

Max, Max, you... You are not dying.

You don't have a long-term condition...

You had a complication from a simple rib fracture.

So, I had to make a decision,

and it might not have been the one that you wanted,

but I think you were wrong,

and I think I was right to fight for you

just like you taught me how to fight for Enzo and his mom.

Okay, s-so just give us 24 hours on the vent,

and we'll run some tests in the morning

to make sure that you can breathe on your own,

and then I promise we will take it out.

And in the meantime, we'll give you some excellent drugs

and play some music or whatever you like.

Tom Jones.

We'll play Tom Jones.

You're not Yasuda.

No, she got called into the O.R.,

so I'll be taking over for a bit.

Let me guess, the other guy looks worse?

It's nothing.

Disgruntled patient?

Actually... yes.

You don't have to worry about me.

You could be terrible,

and I can't even really give you the finger.

[ Sighs ] You need to rest.

Yeah, yeah, I'll just lie here.

Completely immobilized and starved for entertainment

while you withhold whatever juicy story you have

from a man who can't even move.

There's a girl.

Okay, you just don't need to finish.

I know the rest.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Coughs ]

I feel funny.

[ Monitor alarm ]

Damn it.

Hold on, Sam.

Oh, God.

I need help in here!

And page Chief Altman!

Woman: Code blue.

Rest up, okay?

Let's keep an eye on the swelling.

He says he doesn't want any pain meds.

I have a feeling that's gonna change in a couple of hours.

I'll let you know how he's doing.

Nice to have you back, Helm.

So, how does it feel to be back?

Like someone took kryptonite out of my shoe.

But I'm still coming down

from the most perfect date I've ever had,

so might be that, too.

Wow, a busted wedding, driving the bride's getaway van,

and starting your new job a day early was a "perfect date"?

Yeah, well, my sense of "perfect" might be a little odd,

but I got to spend the day with you.

[ Cellphone vibrates ]

Sam Sutton.

Dr. Wilson must have left,

and he needs someone else to entertain.

[ Cellphone bloops ][ Chuckles ]

Crap, 911. Damn it, Adams!

Go. I'll call you tonight.

[ Monitor alarm ]

What the hell happened?

Oh, my God. I was checking in on him,

and then his chest tube started pouring blood.

He's lost over two liters.

His aorta must have transected.

He's bleeding out into his chest.

The chart said it was only Grade 1 this morning.

Teddy: Alright, we need to get him up to the O.R. right now.

I already asked them to get it ready.

Alright, meet me up there, and prep him as fast as you can.

What are you doing?

Link: Taking a break.

Out here?

It's quieter.

Or it was.

You want me to leave?

Is that what you want?

What is going on with you?

Just wondering what you want, that's all.

I...

I... I think that you should move out.

I've been thinking about it for a while.

I think that it's...

confusing for the kids.

So, this is about the kids?

Yes. Not Rocky the Flying Squirrel?

Sam?

No, no, not necessarily, but yeah,

I want to be able to meet someone.

Well, you seem to be doing just fine.

I'm not comfortable bringing people home like you are.

I haven't done that in months.

I've been too busy packing lunches

and showing up at... At Luna's doctor's appointments

and being your shoulder to cry on and your punching bag.

Why do I feel like you're accusing me of something?

I have changed my entire life to revolve around you, us.

I never asked you to!

[ Thunder rumbles ]

[ Applause ]

Catherine: And now, the moment that we've all been waiting for,

the Catherine Fox Award.

This award is given to those who have achieved excellence

in our field while pushing boundaries.

Here to present this year's winner

is a Fox recipient herself,

one of our most well-known boundary pushers,

Dr. Meredith Grey.

[ Applause ]

Wait, why aren't they calling me up there?

I took that plane ride from hell just to present the damn award.

Meredith: Well, this is a room filled with medical genius. Ben!

Sorry I'm late. H...

I look around and see those responsible

for incredible achievements in medicine this year...

Bio-artificial hearts, partial heart transplants,

stem cell therapy, xenotransplantation,

gene editing.

But for the first time ever,

Dr. Fox, in her infinite wisdom,

has decided that this is the year to break the rules.

For the first time ever, the award is going to go

to a non-surgical project, even a non-nominee.

We are in the midst

of a national public health crisis in this country.

I taught them. I taught them at my clinic. Right now, in more than half of our states,

women are being forced to carry not only unwanted pregnancies,

but unsafe pregnancies.

They are legally prohibited from receiving care

that protects not only their reproductive rights

but their survival.

And with these bans,

doctors are no longer being trained

in these procedures, life-saving procedures,

that are used in more than just abortions.

But there is one doctor who is trying to change all of that,

one procedure at a time,

one trainee at a time,

whose groundbreaking work in protecting reproductive rights

and training the next generation of doctors

on how to perform reproductive care.

Dr. Miranda Bailey,

we would love to present you with the Catherine Fox Award

for your significant contribution

to medicine this year.

[ Applause ]

♪♪♪

Get up there. Go!

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪♪

Oh, my God.

Congratulations, and thank you.

♪♪♪

Yeah!

[ Voice breaking ] Okay, okay, okay.

Oh, my goodness. It's been such a long year.

Hi.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay. [ Sobbing ]

Winston: You're debating the logic

of a non-nominee winning an award.

Maggie: I mean, kind of. Yeah.

Well, at least it was Bailey who stole it...

I m... won, won.

At least it was Bailey who won.

If I'm gonna lose to somebody, it might as well be her.

[ Laughs ] Oh, man.

Yeah, I-I couldn't stop thinking of Baby Arlo tonight,

just wondering what he'll do with his life.

Doesn't matter what he does.

He has a life now, thanks to you.

Hey, thanks to us.

You want to get a drink?

Is this what we are now?

Married but apart

and having mind-blowing sex whenever we're in the same room?

When we pull off medical miracles together?

Sex and medical miracles were two things we always got right.

Maggie...

should we get divorced?

Is that what you want?

I want to excel at my new job,

like, really tear it up.

And I want to save lives and help patients like Arlo,

and I want to teach this next generation everything I know,

and I want to break new ground.

And I don't want this to be my last Fox Award nomination.

I want it to be the beginning.

Well, let's just start with that.

We'll figure out the rest later.

♪♪♪

Alright, come on, Miranda.

There are people waiting outside to take their picture with you.

Oh, no. I ugly-cried.

I can't believe I ugly-cried... I'll be outside.

In front of the most accomplished surgeons

in the world.

Well, if it makes you feel any better,

I plan on ugly-crying in the car on the way home.

Hmm?

I'm going to lose all of my funding

because I cannot bite my tongue.

Well, you'll get more. How?

Because you're you, and you won't stop until you do.

Some of us find that annoying.

[ Laughter ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

I just spent the last hour in the lobby

and missed Bailey winning a Catherine Fox Award

because I was reading all of Meredith's research.

She is about to sink my brother's entire legacy,

and the irony of that is a little more than I can take,

so I'm gonna head to a meeting.

Do you want to come?

Um...

when we were on the plane and it started to go down,

I tried to drink Catherine's martini.

And did you? No, no.

Bailey knocked it out of my hand,

but ever since, that's all I can think about.

I mean, alcohol is all I see.

Well, of course it is. You're an alcoholic.

Alcoholics love alcohol.

Sobriety is unbelievably hard on a normal day,

and we... we thought we were gonna die.

Yeah, I just... just wish I could take the edge off.

Right.

Every day, I wish I could just have a glass of wine

like everybody else.

Yeah, well, we're not everybody else.

We're not.

Let's find a meeting.

Um, I-I-I better wait for Catherine.

Alright.

I'm gonna find a meeting,

and I'm gonna text you the address.

Your vodka tonic, sir.

♪♪♪

♪ The mirror falls ♪

♪ Broken shards ♪

♪ Find your calm and carry on ♪

♪ The house is dark ♪

♪ The shadows long ♪

Hey.

♪ Whispered words to keep us strong ♪

What's this?

Did you read it?

I, uh...

I don't understand.

I did pretend not to hear you.

I was tired and scared and overwhelmed,

and I know that sounds stupid,

but I thought that what I should do in that moment

was to focus on the children, so that's what I did.

And as you can tell,

I'm still tired and scared and overwhelmed

and I probably just blew up my career, but...

I miss you.

Listen, I-I met Michael.

He's wonderful.

So great with the kids.

[ Laughs ] Then what do you want from me?

Michael is Zola's tutor. He's brilliant.

So, you went to my house?

[ Chuckles ] Yeah, I went... I went to your house.

I did.

Why didn't you mention that in the lab?

Well, because you were in mad-scientist mode,

and also...

like, Michael.

Michael?

Michael exclusively dates men.

Ah, okay. [ Chuckles ]

Really? [ Chuckles ]

You know, I went to your house

because I thought I was gonna die today.

It's a long story, and I didn't die, obviously,

but it made me realize how badly I want to live

and that I've wasted years of my life trying to avoid pain.

And I went to your house to say

that I never should have let you walk away

and to say that I want to live a whole life

with love and mess and pain and you.

Well, okay, then.

Okay, then.

♪ Close your eyes ♪

♪ Frozen oceans of time ♪

♪ Trust the silence when it gets too loud ♪

♪♪♪

♪ A final word ♪

I already checked.

She's on the minimum settings.

That's good news.

You think I don't know that?

I'm confused.

You're mad that she's doing better?

I'm mad at you!

No, no. I am... I am enraged by you.

You are the most selfish, arrogant, impulsive,

enraging person I have ever met.

You never consider anyone else's feelings.

You never care about how anyone else feels or what they want.

You put me in an impossible situation today,

and I hate you for that.

I hate you so much that I'm going to cry now,

because that's how I express anger,

and I'm going to hate you even more because you saw me cry,

and the worst part is, you saved her.

You saved my favorite person.

So, now, I don't get to just hate you.

I have to love you, too.

[ Crying softly ]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

Teddy: We'll do an emergent thoracotomy.

We will get in there and cross-clamp the aorta

as quickly as we can

to give anesthesia time to catch up on blood volume.

Then we will do the repair.

Yasuda, you are on retraction. Adams, you are on suction.

I need you to work as quickly as you can,

so I need you both to anticipate.

Mika: Absolutely. Lucas: Got it.

His lap pads are ready.

Dr. Altman!

Oh, my God. Uh, page Hunt!

Page everyone!

Mika: Get a crash cart!

♪♪♪

Do you have any idea how many times

I've switched clinic days with a fellow

or asked Amelia to change the Scout schedule

so that I can be there for you and Luna?

Do not put me and Luna

in the middle of your constant need to save the day.

We are fine.

It's not that I want to save the day,

it's that I care about you and Luna.

Well, since it's all such a chore for you,

moving out should be a great option.

Right, since we're just roommates, like you told Sam.

[ Scoffs ] What was I supposed to say?

Something that sounds like more

than two random people co-habitating.

Well, you're really gonna get hung up on semantics?

What does it matter?!

It's not semantics, Jo, it's love!

I'm in love with you, Jo.

I'm... I'm so completely in love with you.

How do you not see that?

I have loved you since you were a freshman

and I was a senior,

and we wore cheesy crab hats

and served meals in buckets.

And I've almost said it a hundred times.

I say it to myself, I say it in the mornings

when you're mean to me before you've had your coffee.

I say it when I see you studying next to the fireplace.

I say it when...

you think I can't hear you singing to Luna, and I can.

And I should've said it out loud,

but I-I didn't want to freak you out,

and [chuckles] then we found out about Luna.

I love you...

and I'm gonna love you forever.

You unbelievable dummy.

I love you, too.

[ Nina Lee's "River" plays ]

[ Vocalizing ]

♪ I believe, I got dreams of better things ♪

Meredith: Sometimes, we have to work extremely hard

to achieve focus and perspective...

♪ Happening ♪

Mika: Dr. Altman, you need to wake up!

Hey, do you hear me?

You are chief, and you have children who need you,

and why won't you wake up?

What the hell happened?

Oh, she collapsed, but she's breathing.

[ Monitor alarm ]

Lucas: He's coding. He's bleeding out. From what?

A transected aorta.

I just lost her pulse. What?

Starting compressions. Lucas: How's Sam?

He's critical. I'm doing everything I can.

Alright, I need a new gown and gloves.

We need to cross-clamp the aorta.

Lucas, do not do anything until an attending gets here.

We paged everyone.

No one's coming, and we don't have time.

Pierce, she mentored you, yeah?

I'll open, but you need to cross-clamp.

You'll do it faster. No, Adams, do not do that!

Adams, my name is on his chart. He's my patient!

Simone, he's dying.

But when we do...

Okay, gown and glove me.

The second you cut into his chest, there's no turning back.

Chief Altman, you do not die on me.

Alright, here we go.

Everything suddenly becomes all clear.

Dr. Hunt, you're needed in O.R. 1.

Yeah, I'll be there soon.

No, i-i-it's Dr. Altman.

You need to go now. Now.

You can see your path.

♪ Is where I hold more regrets... ♪

You see your life.

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

You see your purpose and why you are here.

♪ Whoa, whoa, river deep ♪

[ Flatline ]

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

But just because you see it...

♪ That's alright with me ♪

She's in V-Fib. Clear!

♪ That I'm goin' to the river ♪Teddy.

Teddy! Here.

Teddy!

Clear!

♪ Goin' to the river to be redeemed ♪

Teddy, stay with us.[ Flatline ]

it doesn't mean you'll live up to it.

Clear!

♪ I'm goin' to the river to be redeemed ♪

Captions by VITAC...

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪