Original subtitles

- ¶ Girl

- ¶ oh, oh

¶ when we go dancing, dancing ¶

- you did turn Daniel into a lizard.

- I must be more powerful than I thought.

- You're a super witch.

- What do we do now?

- We take him with us.

Shh.

[Scoffs] Stop fidgeting, Daniel.

Your fingernails are sharp.

- He needs a mani pedi, stat.

I know a great salon that takes iguanas.

- You're going to be in so much trouble, Maddie.

- For what?

- For turning your boyfriend into a reptile.

Your mom specifically told you not to do that.

- That never happened.

- Yes, it did, just yesterday.

She said...

- "Maddie, you can't go around

"turning people into other things,

"like your friends into celebrities,

"your enemies into insects,

or your boyfriend into a reptile."

- Personally, I think you could be pretty lax

with the turning your best friends

into celebrities rule.

- Well, she's just jealous

because she can't do them herself.

- Aren't we all? - What?

- So what are we going to do with dannyguana?

- Well, the most logical thing is for dannyguana

to spend the night here in the closet,

where my mom won't find him.

- Okay, are you gonna make him a little nest or something?

- Yeah, something that resembles his natural habitat.

- I got this.

We need newspaper, branches,

and a bassinet.

- [Sighs]

I need to get him some ties

and maybe a nice jacket.

[Gasps] Do they make tuxes for iguanas?

- Maddie, you know you can't keep him like this forever.

- Why not?

He'll make the perfect boyfriend.

- Scaly and dry?

- Silent and obedient.

[Upbeat pop music]

- ¶ I cast a spell

¶ it takes a hold of you

¶ I see my dreams

¶ and they're all coming true ¶

¶ come on, let's go ¶

¶ you and me together

¶ look up ahead

¶ there's a magical adventure ¶

¶ every witch way, ay, ay, ay, ay ¶

¶ I'm trying every witch way, ay, ay, ay, ay ¶

¶ I'm going every witch way, ay, ay, ay, ay ¶

¶ every witch way ¶

- don't make any noise. We don't want to be caught.

Oh, hey.

Emma, we were definitely not looking for Tommy's new iguana

that we definitely do not know about.

- Don't worry. Your not secret's safe with me.

I was just looking for Daniel. Have you seen him?

- He got a call earlier from Diego

and put on his serious face.

- What's his serious face?

- You know.

- [Laughs] Wow, very accurate, guys.

- I haven't seen him since. What about iguana?

Have you seen him around here?

- No, if I had, I'd be passed out on the floor.

Iguanas creep me out.

They're like slithery mini dinosaurs.

- I know, so cute.

Was that door open? - You mean before?

I think so. It was...

- he must've escaped.

- I told you we should've snuck in here earlier

and put a g.P.S. On him.

- You let him out.

- No, I... - Tommy.

Come on into the kitchen.

It's time to cut the cake.

Oh, what's going on?

- Iguana's missing.

- Call the police, CIA, FBI, mtv.

They need to issue an iguana alert, a.S.A.P.

- [Coughing]

My body must be giving up.

It stopped fighting the infection.

But I need to get to school.

- No, Maddie, winky,

you have to stay here and get better.

- But valuable education hours wasting away.

- I'm sure you'll make it all up when you get better.

- [Sighs] Okay. - Okay.

- [Fakes snoring]

Good morning, Daniel.

Did you sleep well?

Up and at them. Time to get dressed.

- Stop looking at your phone.

It's not gonna make him text you any sooner.

- I'm just worried.

He hasn't responded to any of my texts.

- Walk over. He lives across the street.

- I can't just show up at his door,

especially not after

the great iguana escape.

- I'm sure he doesn't blame you

or is ignoring you because of that.

- You think?

- Absolutely.

And if he is ignoring you,

it must be for something else.

- What? Like what?

- Like not giving me Pegasus wings

when I asked you for them last night.

- Really?

He's mad at me for not giving you wings?

- Yes.

Us sharks are tight like that.

- It's got to be about the iguana.

I only left the door open for a minute.

- Oh, that's the thing about iguanas.

They're cold-blooded, double-chinned,

speed demons.

- Hey, Maddie.

Where are you?

- What are you doing here?

Shouldn't you be at school?

- Shouldn't you be at school?

- Don't answer my question with a question.

- Oh, my. Is this a deja vu?

- What is that?

- I brought dannyguana Maria conchita's dog bed.

She's too big for it now.

- We came to help with, you know...

[Croaking]

- Don't do that, ever.

I'm sick.

Didn't you read the update

I sent in to "miss information?"

- No. Why are you all dressed up?

- And why is Danny iguana wearing a bow tie?

- Uh, he must've left it

and found it in my closet and put it on.

- Maddie, this is not okay.

You know you have to turn him back into a human.

- I will.

- When?

- When I've convinced him

that we belong together,

[both laugh]

- Sophie, how dare you?

- Look! Another lizard.

- [Scoffs] Nice try.

I'm not falling for that one.

- No, there really is another lizard behind you.

- [Gasps]

How did that get in here?

- There's lizards all over Miami.

It must've sniffed out dannyguana and snuck in.

- Aww, dannyguana has a little friend.

That's so cute.

- Well, he can't come with Daniel and I.

Today is our special day.

No third wheels allowed.

[Upbeat rock music]

¶

[no audible dialogue]

Oh, Daniel, this date was so magical.

And I already know what you're thinking,

so you don't have to say anything.

And the answer is yes.

I'll be your girlfriend again.

- Oh, please tell me it's Daniel,

- it's just an alert from miss information.

- Oh, what's it say?

- It says Maddie...

Got back together with Daniel!

- I what?

- You got back together with Maddie?

- No, I didn't. Miss information is misinformed.

- Miss information is never misinformed.

- Did you just hear what you said?

- Yeah.

- I didn't see you in study hall this morning.

- I got excused. I was looking for iguana.

Tommy is devastated. He's on a hunger strike.

And my mom had to go get him from school and bring him home.

- I'm so sorry.

If there's anything I can do...

I feel guilty.

- Don't.

If it got out of the garage,

it's probably still in the house.

But I mean, you can help.

I'm organizing a search party.

- Count me in.

- Oh, okay, fine.

Count me in, too.

- I had such an amazing time, Daniel.

I don't think we've ever connected like this.

You really get me, Daniel.

Now, if you'd stop pooping

and eating flies all of the time,

you'd be perfect.

Oh, Daniel.

- Daniel? - Mom?

Uh, what... what are you doing here?

- [Gasps]

Is... is that Daniel Miller?

- What?

No.

It's just an iguana

that jumped through my window this morning.

And I decided to name him Daniel.

- You turned your ex-boyfriend into an iguana.

- No. [Scoffs]

Yes. Wait, let me explain.

He's not my ex-boyfriend anymore.

¶ We're back together ¶

¶ mm-hmm, mm-hmm

- why would you want to date an iguana?

Turn him back, please.

- No!

We're finally happy together. And...

Daniel? - [Gasps]

- Daniel?

Daniel, where are you?

Daniel? See what you did?

You offended him, and now he's hiding.

Daniel!

- Uh, Maddie.

You don't have to worry about it.

He's not hiding.

- Oh. - Yeah.

He's in your closet,

pooping in your shoes right now.

- [Gasps]

It better not be my lavender sneakers!

- Okay, I've divided the neighborhood into quadrants.

Now we'll all split up into teams,

according to expertise.

Mac, you have no sense of direction,

so you'll be with Tony.

- Hey, I have an amazing sense of direction.

- You get lost on the way to my house

every time you come over.

And it's only one street over.

- But that's because all the houses look the same.

It feels like I'm always walking in circles.

- Okay. Diego and I will be a team.

And Emma and Daniel will be another.

- Maybe Emma should be with me, because her instincts

complement my logical thinking perfectly.

- Yeah, that's why you're with Mac.

He's very instinctive too.

- [Sighs]

- Can we quit arguing over team assignments?

We have an iguana to look for, people.

Now, everyone, grab a walkie-talkie,

and let's go.

- [Muttering]

Maddie, winky, okay, try this one.

- We've tried a bunch. And nothing's worked.

Maybe he doesn't want to change back.

- Maddie? - Mm-hmm.

- You can't keep him.

- [Gasps]

Fine. One last one.

- Yeah.

- From cold-blooded to warm,

you'll no doubt enjoy

turning into the teenaged boy.

- [Gasps] Maddie!

Oh, be careful.

You could've hit either one of us.

- I can't.

I've been trying for ages

to turn Daniel back into the perfect boyfriend.

And now he is.

Daniel!

[Screaming]

- Maddie, you get back here.

Girl has lost her mind.

[Magical music]

¶

I didn't mean to scare you.

I understand.

You're upset and confused.

That's how I felt when I first found out I was a...

[Chuckles]

A witch.

Now, witches aren't like you see in the movies.

We're more like those superheroes you like,

except much prettier.

Daniel, are you still saying you love me regardless?

Oh, Daniel.

- Iguanas have been known to roam for Miles

without any food or water.

They're known as the camels of the rainforest.

- Really? - No.

I just made that up to impress you.

How did I do?

- Not bad.

Hey, where did you disappear to last night?

I went to the garage to find you.

And then, well, the iguana-gate happened.

- I was at the seven,

helping Diego with a little emergency.

- What kind of emergency?

- Well...

How did this happen?

- He made some canned eyes explode.

- What are canned eyes?

- No idea.

Probably one of those fantasy card games

those two play, like space cowboys

chase through history or something lame like that.

- I love space cowboys chase through history.

- You do? So do I.

I've been trying to get Ashton and Billy ray gamble

to join the revolutionary war for weeks now.

- So you just said it was lame to impress me?

- Well, Maddie used to say it was lame all the time,

so I just figured all girls think it was lame.

- I think it's cool.

The most popular athlete in school,

he's a secret geek.

- I'm not.

- Come on, Danny!

Own the geek.

- Okay.

But you have to own your thing too.

- What's my thing?

- The glitter. Duh.

- Oh, I own the glitter.

- You know we could have used our cell phones for this, right?

- Yeah, but this is way cooler. - [Scoffs]

I would have to disagree.

The range of this radio is only 500 feet.

In metric, that's 150 meters,

whereas the range of our cell phones...

- whereas the range of my arm

is the same distance between me and your face.

- [Yells]

- Can we get back to the matter at hand,

the missing iguana?

- We've searched the entire neighborhood and nothing.

Where else could it be?

- Maybe it was stolen.

- Why would anyone steal an iguana?

- It was so romantic.

We went shopping, to the beach.

We shared an ice cream at the seven.

Daniel had a side of flies.

- That is so romantic.

A pet and a boyfriend, all in one, you are so lucky.

- Maddie, well, let's just say

you're heading down that slippery slope

your mother loves to slide down.

- What does that mean?

- It's crazy.

Even if he's Daniel, he's still a reptile.

- [Gasps]

Don't talk smack about my boyfriend.

- It's not smack. It's fact.

- [Scoffs] [Phone beeps]

- What is it?

- Just a "miss information" update,

some photo of Daniel and Emma

walking down by the beach.

Now where were we?

- Emma and Daniel on a hunt

for Daniel's brother's missing iguana,

which means they are from today.

- I don't get it.

- Wait for it.

Three, two, one.

- [Screaming]

- And when he held my hand, I got butterflies.

- The kind he's allergic to? - No.

The good, inside-the-tummy kind.

- Now I think I have the bad,

"want to barf up what's in my tummy" kind.

[Laughs]

Too far?

Personally, I thought it was right on the line, but okay.

- I just wish we could find iguana.

- How about a spell, like an iguana-locating spell?

- I would, but I'm afraid it'll end up in the pool.

I'm three for three in relocating people there.

- Let's just go over what happened last night,

step-by-step.

And let's start with the last time you saw Daniel.

- Okay.

You and I were standing by the chips, talking.

- Right, then I bit into a chip and said,

"these chips taste like sawdust."

- Then Daniel walked up to us.

[Sighs]

- Okay, that's so not how it happened.

- Hey, so glad you could come.

- Us too.

And may I commend your interior decorator

on the most elegant job

on the architectural details of your abode.

- Andi.

- What? Fine.

Well, what's the deal with this dip?

It's not even seven-layer.

- I don't know. You should ask my mom.

- Hey, we're twins. See?

- Great.

- Tony too. This is so weird.

- We're all wearing the same shirt.

This is awesome.

- Aren't you going to make any of your usual remarks?

- [Stammering] I am.

But there's just so many one-liners

going through my head right now.

I don't know where to start.

- We should change. - It's fine.

Everyone else here are little kids.

They wouldn't dare make fun of us.

[All laughing]

- I'll get you a shirt.

- That's too small. You'll never fit into that.

- Is it?

- [Laughs]

It's wet is what it is.

- Yeah, but it fits, and that's all that matters.

- Here, you need some help?

- No. No, no, no, no.

- That was the best part of the night.

- Then, Daniel's mother walked up to us

and asked if I could go get him.

- Emma, would you go get Daniel and ask him to fix the speakers?

- Sure. - Thank you.

[Upbeat dance music]

- ¶ Yo, hey

- Danny, your mom wants...

she wants you to help her with something.

- I'm ready.

Whoa. Are you...

- I'm... I'm fine.

- So it was you, both of you.

You left the door open. Mystery solved.

I win.

I mean, mystery solved.

Nobody wins.

Now, let's go to sleep.

We have a new search party tomorrow,

and Tony pestering me about not needing my radios.

- Don't worry, Maddie.

There are plenty of other iguanas in the ocean.

- I don't need another iguana.

I need Daniel.

And this is going to help me get him back.

Now, let's send this iguana to a special new home.

- Guys, thanks for spending your Saturday helping me.

- Oh, it's Saturday?

I only came 'cause you told me we were skipping school.

What? - How's Tommy?

- Holding up.

- Hey! Andi, you didn't get my text?

We don't need the radios.

- Uh, no, I didn't.

See, cell phones are so unreliable,

which is exactly why we need my radios.

- No, see, I had everyone

download a g.P.S. Locator app on their phone.

See? This is me. This is Daniel.

- Oh, yeah. And where am I?

Is that me? - No, that's me.

See, this is why you shouldn't be in charge

of communication tools,

because obviously, you aren't qualified.

What are you guys doing?

- [Yells]

- Hey, thanks for helping me search.

- I'll make more posters tonight.

- You might want to go easier on the glitter.

- Hey, the more noticeable the better, right?

- You're right. I take it back.

Glitter your heart out.

Hey, you want to walk together to school Monday?

- [Gasps] Iguana?

Where did you come from?

- Hey, Emma, I forgot my jacket.

Iguana?

- Now, remember,

we are never to speak of this ever again.

Right?

Both: Right.

- [Laughs]

I still can't believe you kissed an iguana.

- Was it romantic?

- Hey, what did I just say?

- Is something wrong, Sophie?

- What's the big deal?

She stares blankly at the wall all the time.

- Is that...

am I seeing things?

Both: Probably.

- [Gasps]

Katie, Maddie, that's a...

a boy! Both: What?

- There's a boy by your shelf.

Look.

[All screaming]

¶

¶