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1
00:00:06,042 --> 00:00:07,373
ANNOUNCER:
Thanks for joining us...
2
00:00:07,543 --> 00:00:09,636
...at the Pro Bowlers' Annual
Christmas Tournament...
3
00:00:09,812 --> 00:00:12,872
...where the most incredible athletes
from around the country...
4
00:00:13,049 --> 00:00:15,449
...have gathered to compete
for the sport's biggest prize.
5
00:00:15,618 --> 00:00:16,949
Unh! Hey!
6
00:00:17,119 --> 00:00:18,780
[FEEDBACK OVER SPEAKERS]
7
00:00:19,822 --> 00:00:21,653
SPORTSMASTER:
Sport? Ha! Sport?
8
00:00:21,824 --> 00:00:25,555
Hey, news flash, people.
Bowling is not a sport.
9
00:00:25,728 --> 00:00:28,162
A real athlete deserves this prize money.
10
00:00:28,331 --> 00:00:31,562
Oh, but don't worry, I'm not gonna steal it.
I'm gonna win it.
11
00:00:36,973 --> 00:00:37,997
Hey.
12
00:00:39,842 --> 00:00:41,002
[BEEPING]
13
00:00:42,411 --> 00:00:43,503
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
14
00:00:43,679 --> 00:00:45,169
[MEN GASP]
15
00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:54,548
Sportsmaster.
Figures I'd find you in the gutters.
16
00:00:54,724 --> 00:00:57,955
I like to play fair, Batman,
but you're outnumbered.
17
00:00:58,127 --> 00:00:59,389
[THUG GRUNTS]
18
00:01:01,430 --> 00:01:04,797
Then it's a good thing
crime-fighting is a team sport.
19
00:01:05,368 --> 00:01:08,633
Okay, Beetle, Sportsmaster's mine.
You take the second-stringers.
20
00:01:08,804 --> 00:01:10,135
[SCARAB SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE]
21
00:01:10,306 --> 00:01:13,298
Don't tell me what to do, goober.
22
00:01:13,743 --> 00:01:15,574
Oh, great. Now Batman thinks I'm a jerk.
23
00:01:15,745 --> 00:01:17,076
[SCARAB SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE]
24
00:01:17,246 --> 00:01:19,544
Well, how's he supposed know
you started talking to me?
25
00:01:19,715 --> 00:01:21,376
[SCARAB SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE]
26
00:01:22,485 --> 00:01:23,747
Hey, call me crazy...
27
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,980
...but I'm pretty sure Batman
doesn't banter with his suit.
28
00:01:27,323 --> 00:01:29,814
Ah, at last, a little real competition.
29
00:01:33,996 --> 00:01:35,827
[BOTH GRUNTING]
30
00:01:38,434 --> 00:01:39,765
[SCARAB SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE]
31
00:01:39,936 --> 00:01:43,872
I know I'm under attack.
Give me something I can do about it.
32
00:01:44,507 --> 00:01:47,806
How about something
less likely to blow up the entire building?
33
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:49,308
[SCARAB SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE]
34
00:01:49,612 --> 00:01:51,170
Ah, much better.
35
00:02:06,796 --> 00:02:09,993
We're gonna have to call this match a tie.
36
00:02:15,438 --> 00:02:16,871
Nice one, Bats.
37
00:02:17,039 --> 00:02:19,599
So now that we've giftwrapped the baddies
for the police...
38
00:02:19,775 --> 00:02:22,539
...you wanna come over to my house
for Christmas Eve dinner?
39
00:02:22,712 --> 00:02:24,543
You know, my mom's a great cook.
40
00:02:24,714 --> 00:02:27,205
Sorry, crime doesn't take a holiday...
41
00:02:27,717 --> 00:02:29,844
...and neither do I.
42
00:03:15,465 --> 00:03:17,456
[KIDS LAUGHING]
43
00:03:20,269 --> 00:03:24,535
ULTHOON: Though archeology is a science
that studies past human cultures...
44
00:03:24,707 --> 00:03:28,700
...because its aim
is to ultimately understand mankind...
45
00:03:28,878 --> 00:03:31,210
...it is also a humanistic endeavor.
46
00:03:31,381 --> 00:03:32,871
So, uh, Professor Ulthoon...
47
00:03:33,049 --> 00:03:35,643
...is being an archeologist like it is
in the movies?
48
00:03:35,818 --> 00:03:38,446
You know, with adventure
and fighting bad guys?
49
00:03:38,621 --> 00:03:39,986
ULTHOON:
No, Billy.
50
00:03:40,156 --> 00:03:44,320
I am afraid it is mostly just reading books
and research.
51
00:03:44,494 --> 00:03:46,155
[TRUCK TIRES SQUEALING
NEARBY]
52
00:03:54,904 --> 00:03:56,201
Excuse me one moment.
53
00:04:03,513 --> 00:04:04,741
[BOTH SCREAM]
54
00:04:14,090 --> 00:04:15,580
Observation:
55
00:04:15,758 --> 00:04:20,286
Your children need another discussion
about traffic safety, Mr. Jones.
56
00:04:20,463 --> 00:04:22,328
Thank you so much, Red Tornado.
57
00:04:22,498 --> 00:04:27,458
Your heroics have certainly filled our family
with the Christmas spirit.
58
00:04:28,037 --> 00:04:31,131
Christmas spirit? Elaborate.
59
00:04:31,307 --> 00:04:36,643
You know, that tingly feeling you get inside
because it's the bestest time of the year.
60
00:04:36,813 --> 00:04:40,476
This is not something
I have ever been filled with.
61
00:04:40,650 --> 00:04:43,414
Of course not, silly. You're just a robot.
62
00:05:32,702 --> 00:05:34,932
Some variable is still missing.
63
00:05:41,611 --> 00:05:44,102
[SINGING "JINGLE BELLS"
IN MONOTONE]
64
00:05:47,817 --> 00:05:49,148
[SIGHS]
65
00:05:56,893 --> 00:05:59,293
I've learned
the most important lesson of all.
66
00:05:59,462 --> 00:06:02,454
Do you want to know
the secret of Christmas spirit, Billy?
67
00:06:02,632 --> 00:06:05,795
Yes. Yes. Elaborate, please.
68
00:06:06,469 --> 00:06:08,437
We interrupt with this breaking story.
69
00:06:08,604 --> 00:06:12,802
Flying saucers have invaded our town.
Moments ago, they sent this transmission.
70
00:06:14,043 --> 00:06:15,772
People of Earth:
71
00:06:15,945 --> 00:06:20,439
Surrender to us the one called Santa Claus
or be destroyed.
72
00:06:20,616 --> 00:06:24,313
From this day forward, he will finally bring
the children of Neptune...
73
00:06:24,487 --> 00:06:28,321
...the joy and happiness
they have long been denied.
74
00:06:28,491 --> 00:06:31,824
Only Batman is on the scene
to defend the city.
75
00:06:38,067 --> 00:06:41,059
[ALL SCREAMING]
76
00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:45,934
[BATMAN GRUNTING]
77
00:07:01,357 --> 00:07:04,349
BATMAN: Not exactly how I was expecting
to spend my Christmas Eve.
78
00:07:07,597 --> 00:07:08,928
[GASPS]
79
00:07:28,918 --> 00:07:32,877
- Merry Christmas, Batman.
- Now's not the time, Red Tornado.
80
00:07:33,055 --> 00:07:35,216
But isn't Christmas tomorrow?
81
00:07:35,391 --> 00:07:38,053
Not what I mean. Tornado, behind you.
82
00:07:51,307 --> 00:07:53,571
Neptune is uninhabited.
83
00:07:54,543 --> 00:07:55,567
No kidding.
84
00:07:55,745 --> 00:07:59,442
Search your database
for Christmas movies featuring aliens.
85
00:07:59,782 --> 00:08:01,977
Done. One reference:
86
00:08:02,151 --> 00:08:06,144
Holiday for Neptunians. Produced: 1954.
87
00:08:06,322 --> 00:08:08,790
The alien transmission
was taken from the film.
88
00:08:08,958 --> 00:08:12,223
I'll herd them and draw their fire.
You do the rest.
89
00:08:38,621 --> 00:08:41,454
Plastic. These are Earth-made toys.
90
00:08:41,624 --> 00:08:46,118
Cross-referencing known producers
of flying-saucer toys.
91
00:08:46,295 --> 00:08:48,126
You won't find a match for this stamp.
92
00:08:48,297 --> 00:08:52,028
Stamp does not match
listed manufacturers.
93
00:08:52,201 --> 00:08:53,964
I just said that.
94
00:08:54,136 --> 00:08:58,732
Like any artist with a giant ego,
he has to sign his work.
95
00:09:00,142 --> 00:09:02,201
Don't you, Fun Haus?
96
00:09:02,378 --> 00:09:06,212
I was just playing around
with my new toys, Batman.
97
00:09:06,382 --> 00:09:07,974
Is that so wrong?
98
00:09:08,150 --> 00:09:11,642
Based on criminal records,
most of your actions are wrong.
99
00:09:11,821 --> 00:09:16,315
Felony robbery, parole violation,
felony assault, jaywalking...
100
00:09:16,492 --> 00:09:17,857
Not now, Tornado.
101
00:09:18,027 --> 00:09:22,225
If you think we're going to let you continue
your deranged rampage, you're wrong.
102
00:09:22,398 --> 00:09:23,422
Yes, yes.
103
00:09:23,599 --> 00:09:28,161
If ifs and buts were candy and nuts,
we'd all have a merry Christmas.
104
00:09:28,537 --> 00:09:32,997
Unfortunately,
the games have only just begun tonight.
105
00:09:42,017 --> 00:09:44,781
DOLL:
Christmas is my favorite time of year.
106
00:09:44,954 --> 00:09:46,683
Won't you play with me?
107
00:09:46,856 --> 00:09:48,187
[BEEPING]
108
00:09:48,357 --> 00:09:50,450
It's a bomb.
109
00:09:55,631 --> 00:10:00,091
DOLL: My Christmas wish
is to blow everything to smithereens.
110
00:10:00,269 --> 00:10:03,170
Tornado, give this more altitude.
111
00:10:08,311 --> 00:10:12,042
Imperative:
Fun Haus cannot ruin Christmas.
112
00:10:12,215 --> 00:10:14,683
This is about more
than ruining Christmas.
113
00:10:14,851 --> 00:10:17,342
Fun Haus is a crook
before he's anything else.
114
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,317
And why do you care so much anyway?
115
00:10:19,789 --> 00:10:22,781
I am lacking Christmas spirit.
116
00:10:22,959 --> 00:10:25,826
It is something I wish to experience.
117
00:10:26,796 --> 00:10:27,820
It's overrated.
118
00:10:27,997 --> 00:10:31,330
Observation:
I am not the only one who lacks it.
119
00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:33,901
Perhaps this will help us both.
120
00:10:36,572 --> 00:10:37,732
You shouldn't have.
121
00:10:50,553 --> 00:10:54,455
Merry Christmas, son.
Let's see what Santa brought you.
122
00:10:56,492 --> 00:10:59,552
Based on the dimensions and weight
of the package...
123
00:10:59,729 --> 00:11:04,257
...and the sound of what's inside,
I think I've deduced exactly what it is.
124
00:11:04,934 --> 00:11:06,367
Our little detective.
125
00:11:14,243 --> 00:11:17,542
I am not detecting any Christmas spirit
within you.
126
00:11:17,713 --> 00:11:22,173
- Thanks, but I didn't get you anything.
- Do not apologize.
127
00:11:22,351 --> 00:11:27,220
I understand giving
exemplifies the holiday spirit, not receiving.
128
00:11:27,890 --> 00:11:32,020
Yet I still do not feel this spirit
I am told of.
129
00:11:32,194 --> 00:11:35,288
There should be a tingling sensation,
correct?
130
00:11:35,831 --> 00:11:38,732
When you start tingling,
I'd see a repairman.
131
00:11:38,901 --> 00:11:41,631
Come on, we've gotta find Fun Haus.
132
00:12:01,090 --> 00:12:05,424
Hey, Santa,
got any Presto Playpal action figures left?
133
00:12:06,028 --> 00:12:08,053
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
134
00:12:09,165 --> 00:12:11,633
Maybe he didn't hear you.
135
00:12:13,469 --> 00:12:16,927
Inquiry:
Why do you dislike Christmas, Batman?
136
00:12:17,106 --> 00:12:20,234
I don't dislike Christmas, I dislike crime.
137
00:12:20,409 --> 00:12:22,274
MAN 1: Hey.
MAN 2: Whoa!
138
00:12:22,445 --> 00:12:24,913
MAN 3: What the...?
- Down there.
139
00:12:25,881 --> 00:12:27,678
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
140
00:12:28,651 --> 00:12:31,484
Okay, Santa, you've been sipping
a little too much eggnog.
141
00:12:31,654 --> 00:12:32,678
Time to go home.
142
00:12:32,855 --> 00:12:34,618
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
143
00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:38,157
While your devotion to the holiday spirit
is commend...
144
00:12:39,962 --> 00:12:41,293
[BATMAN GRUNTS]
145
00:12:42,765 --> 00:12:44,426
He just made my naughty list.
146
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:48,832
Observation: Santa is not supposed
to behave in this manner.
147
00:12:49,005 --> 00:12:50,802
That's because this isn't Santa.
148
00:12:50,973 --> 00:12:52,804
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
149
00:12:54,110 --> 00:12:56,101
Ho, ho, ho!
150
00:12:56,579 --> 00:12:58,604
Ho, ho, ho!
151
00:13:04,887 --> 00:13:06,218
Ho, ho...
152
00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:12,391
SANTAS:
Ho, ho, ho!
153
00:13:14,530 --> 00:13:18,626
Gee, that won't give kids nightmares,
will it?
154
00:13:21,671 --> 00:13:23,662
[SCREAMS]
155
00:13:27,576 --> 00:13:29,237
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
156
00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:33,571
[SHOPPERS SCREAMING]
157
00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:36,741
ALL:
Ho, ho, ho!
158
00:13:41,257 --> 00:13:43,248
Hey, Santa, didn't you hear us?
159
00:13:43,426 --> 00:13:45,155
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
160
00:13:45,761 --> 00:13:47,592
[GASPS THEN SCREAMS]
161
00:13:48,364 --> 00:13:49,695
[REINDEER NEIGH]
162
00:13:53,102 --> 00:13:54,433
[KIDS SCREAM]
163
00:14:27,303 --> 00:14:29,294
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho!
164
00:14:32,074 --> 00:14:34,065
SANTA:
Ho, ho, ho...!
165
00:14:37,613 --> 00:14:39,205
Pretend you didn't see that.
166
00:14:39,381 --> 00:14:41,611
[BOTH SCREAM]
167
00:14:53,996 --> 00:14:55,657
[KIDS SCREAM]
168
00:14:58,168 --> 00:15:01,001
A Christmas miracle.
169
00:15:11,614 --> 00:15:12,945
[BOY CRYING]
170
00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:20,654
Was your child frightened
by the false Santa Claus machines?
171
00:15:20,824 --> 00:15:22,257
No, he knew they were fakes.
172
00:15:22,425 --> 00:15:25,223
He's only crying
because he wants this Playpal action figure.
173
00:15:25,395 --> 00:15:29,195
It's the most popular toy for Christmas.
Every kid in town just has to have one.
174
00:15:36,039 --> 00:15:38,530
Your grandpa gave that to me
when I was your age.
175
00:15:38,708 --> 00:15:40,903
Now it's yours.
176
00:15:42,512 --> 00:15:47,211
This isn't what I asked for.
I wanted the swashbuckler action figure.
177
00:16:01,631 --> 00:16:03,622
[WHIRRING NEARBY]
178
00:16:07,570 --> 00:16:11,904
You guys have been the best play pals
I could have ever asked for.
179
00:16:12,075 --> 00:16:15,511
Now I only have one more game for you.
180
00:16:15,678 --> 00:16:19,705
'Twas the night before Christmas
And I've hidden a bomb
181
00:16:19,883 --> 00:16:24,684
And if you don't find it
All won't be calm
182
00:16:25,755 --> 00:16:29,350
Come on, Tornado.
There's no time to lose.
183
00:16:47,010 --> 00:16:49,001
[BEEPING]
184
00:16:56,286 --> 00:17:01,747
Observation: The search for the bomb
was only a wild-goose chase.
185
00:17:01,925 --> 00:17:05,053
Then what has he been trying
to distract us from?
186
00:17:06,596 --> 00:17:08,928
Christmas morning.
187
00:17:10,533 --> 00:17:14,162
I hope today
we both get what we wish for most.
188
00:17:17,774 --> 00:17:20,106
I know it wasn't
the swashbuckler toy you wanted...
189
00:17:20,276 --> 00:17:23,609
...but I thought a swashbuckler movie
would be the next best thing.
190
00:17:23,780 --> 00:17:25,509
Did you like it?
191
00:17:29,419 --> 00:17:31,614
Okay, then. Let's go home.
192
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,791
[GUNFIRE]
193
00:17:45,969 --> 00:17:48,870
BRUCE:
Mom! Dad!
194
00:17:51,174 --> 00:17:55,804
Sometimes what you wish for most
is the one thing you can never have.
195
00:17:55,979 --> 00:17:59,779
Speaking of wish lists, that logo.
196
00:17:59,949 --> 00:18:02,076
Fun Haus made the Presto Playpals.
197
00:18:03,019 --> 00:18:05,283
So that's his evil game.
198
00:18:10,827 --> 00:18:12,590
Awesome.
199
00:18:14,430 --> 00:18:15,761
[GASPS]
200
00:18:15,965 --> 00:18:17,193
Huh?
201
00:18:21,971 --> 00:18:23,302
[SCREAMS]
202
00:18:32,081 --> 00:18:33,742
Huh! Aah!
203
00:18:39,722 --> 00:18:41,713
[WHIMPERING]
204
00:18:52,869 --> 00:18:58,671
Oh, it's the most wonderful time
of the year.
205
00:19:00,843 --> 00:19:03,073
You'll be doing hard time by New Year's.
206
00:19:03,246 --> 00:19:06,875
Not if you're in the grave by lunch.
207
00:19:30,139 --> 00:19:32,903
If I can't steal from these people
on Christmas...
208
00:19:33,076 --> 00:19:36,705
...then I'll just steal Christmas
from these people.
209
00:19:55,365 --> 00:19:57,026
[SCREAMS]
210
00:20:00,870 --> 00:20:03,430
- Everyone get to cover.
MAN: Get out, get out.
211
00:20:05,775 --> 00:20:11,111
Declaration: You will endanger these people
no further, robot.
212
00:20:18,221 --> 00:20:22,055
Need more power.
213
00:20:31,334 --> 00:20:32,665
[SCREAMS]
214
00:20:36,773 --> 00:20:40,004
Tornado, you're putting too much stress
on your body.
215
00:20:43,446 --> 00:20:45,277
[FUN HAUS SCREAMING]
216
00:20:48,050 --> 00:20:49,779
[CHEERS]
217
00:20:56,092 --> 00:21:00,290
Odd. I am feeling
a strange tingling sensation.
218
00:21:12,842 --> 00:21:15,003
BATMAN:
Hang on, old friend.
219
00:21:21,217 --> 00:21:24,709
They'll have you put back together
in no time, Tornado.
220
00:21:25,288 --> 00:21:29,622
Observation:
It was an amazing feeling, Batman.
221
00:21:30,827 --> 00:21:32,226
Merry Christmas.
222
00:21:51,547 --> 00:21:54,072
BATMAN:
Merry Christmas to you too, Alfred.
223
00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:55,740
[COMPUTER BEEPING]
224
00:21:57,587 --> 00:22:01,421
But crime doesn't take a holiday,
and neither do I.
225
00:22:37,326 --> 00:22:39,317
[ENGLISH SDH]17278
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