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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:01,331 --> 00:01:03,789 ASTERIX & THE MIDDLE KINGDOM 2 00:01:06,247 --> 00:01:08,206 The year is 50 B.C. 3 00:01:08,789 --> 00:01:11,372 All of Gaul is under Roman occupation. 4 00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:12,747 All of it? 5 00:01:12,747 --> 00:01:13,831 No! 6 00:01:13,831 --> 00:01:16,372 One village of indomitable Gauls 7 00:01:16,372 --> 00:01:19,622 keeps up the good fight against the invader. 8 00:01:19,622 --> 00:01:23,289 And life is not easy for the Roman legionaries 9 00:01:23,289 --> 00:01:28,539 in their camps at Totorum, Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium. 10 00:01:31,372 --> 00:01:34,206 What I love in life 11 00:01:34,206 --> 00:01:37,372 Is wandering day and night 12 00:01:37,372 --> 00:01:39,997 In the forest what's really fun 13 00:01:39,997 --> 00:01:43,206 Is going for a wander with my chum 14 00:01:43,206 --> 00:01:44,331 It rhymes. 15 00:01:44,831 --> 00:01:46,831 Obelix, our lifestyle isn't healthy. 16 00:01:47,831 --> 00:01:48,997 Too much meat. 17 00:01:50,247 --> 00:01:51,747 - Too much meat? - Sure. 18 00:01:51,747 --> 00:01:54,081 Wild boar for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 19 00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:55,331 Supper, too! 20 00:01:55,331 --> 00:01:56,831 Not to mention ale. 21 00:01:57,331 --> 00:01:59,122 It can't be good for us. 22 00:01:59,122 --> 00:02:01,081 What else is there to eat? 23 00:02:01,081 --> 00:02:04,331 I don't know. We could try balancing it out with... 24 00:02:05,247 --> 00:02:06,289 vegetables. 25 00:02:07,956 --> 00:02:09,039 Veg... 26 00:02:09,039 --> 00:02:10,289 Vegetables? 27 00:02:15,872 --> 00:02:18,039 You make me laugh, Asterix. 28 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,206 Hear him, Dogmatix? 29 00:02:20,872 --> 00:02:23,706 Imagine chewing a stick of celery, not a bone! 30 00:02:23,706 --> 00:02:24,747 Vegetables! 31 00:02:25,414 --> 00:02:26,872 You can laugh. 32 00:02:26,872 --> 00:02:30,622 I honestly don't see the point of ruining our health. 33 00:02:30,622 --> 00:02:32,081 Same with the magic potion. 34 00:02:33,039 --> 00:02:35,331 Could be, it's bad for our systems. 35 00:02:35,331 --> 00:02:37,497 Where's the data, honestly? Where? 36 00:02:37,997 --> 00:02:39,872 Above all, do we really need it? 37 00:02:42,747 --> 00:02:43,581 You okay? 38 00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:44,581 No, I'm not okay. 39 00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:48,164 I'm just saying, throwing in a mixed salad, mushrooms... 40 00:02:48,164 --> 00:02:51,039 Chestnuts! When they're in season, obviously. 41 00:02:56,789 --> 00:02:59,539 You snagged one already. Leave the poor things alone. 42 00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:09,247 Peek-a-boo, loopy loolas! 43 00:03:12,872 --> 00:03:14,456 Ave! Sorry, we're lost. 44 00:03:14,456 --> 00:03:16,456 Who knew we're so near the village? 45 00:03:16,456 --> 00:03:18,456 Me. I kept telling you. 46 00:03:19,372 --> 00:03:20,456 - Didn't. - Did. 47 00:03:20,456 --> 00:03:22,956 And you said, "To hell with the Gauls!" 48 00:03:22,956 --> 00:03:24,539 "They get up my nose." 49 00:03:24,539 --> 00:03:26,414 "They can shove their menhirs." 50 00:03:27,664 --> 00:03:29,289 I'm a terrible liar. 51 00:03:30,706 --> 00:03:31,706 Leave this to me. 52 00:03:32,914 --> 00:03:35,039 I'll show you I don't need this. 53 00:03:37,747 --> 00:03:38,997 Strength is here. 54 00:03:38,997 --> 00:03:40,372 And here. 55 00:03:41,164 --> 00:03:43,789 Take a seat, sit tight and enjoy the show. 56 00:03:47,164 --> 00:03:48,164 Hello. 57 00:03:53,747 --> 00:03:55,872 Stupid helmet! I blame the helmet. 58 00:03:55,872 --> 00:03:57,331 You plan to step in? 59 00:03:57,331 --> 00:03:58,914 No, not allowed. 60 00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,206 Help me, silly! 61 00:04:09,206 --> 00:04:10,331 Harder! 62 00:04:28,539 --> 00:04:29,497 Not fair! 63 00:04:31,289 --> 00:04:32,122 Cheat! 64 00:04:32,914 --> 00:04:35,872 Not at all. Without it, same result. 65 00:04:42,581 --> 00:04:43,956 You don't have to. 66 00:04:45,164 --> 00:04:45,997 I do. 67 00:04:52,289 --> 00:04:55,247 {\an8}THE MIDDLE KINGDOM 68 00:05:27,997 --> 00:05:29,164 Where is everyone? 69 00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:30,914 It's hardly fresh. 70 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:32,747 - And you are? - What? 71 00:05:32,747 --> 00:05:34,122 No, nothing. 72 00:05:34,122 --> 00:05:37,372 {\an8}Getafix, he won't let me smoke my boar in the house. 73 00:05:37,372 --> 00:05:40,622 {\an8}Just because Mr. Asterix has decided to quit 74 00:05:40,622 --> 00:05:41,997 doesn't mean I have to. 75 00:05:41,997 --> 00:05:43,247 Panacea! 76 00:05:43,914 --> 00:05:45,164 Panacea! 77 00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:47,497 Morning, girls. 78 00:05:48,039 --> 00:05:49,664 - Coming to the market? - Yes! 79 00:05:52,622 --> 00:05:53,706 Hi, Panacea. 80 00:05:53,706 --> 00:05:54,789 Hi, Obelix. 81 00:05:57,206 --> 00:05:58,664 I just wanted to say... 82 00:06:00,414 --> 00:06:02,914 I carved this menhir thinking of you. It's a gift. 83 00:06:03,706 --> 00:06:06,039 Sweet, but what use is it to me? 84 00:06:10,539 --> 00:06:11,539 See you. 85 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:14,789 She refused it. 86 00:06:15,831 --> 00:06:16,956 She refused my menhir. 87 00:06:16,956 --> 00:06:19,414 Obviously. It weighs a ton. 88 00:06:19,414 --> 00:06:21,831 What use is it? Put it on her finger? 89 00:06:21,831 --> 00:06:22,997 Getafix, your sickle. 90 00:06:22,997 --> 00:06:24,539 Thanks, Fulliautomatix. 91 00:06:24,539 --> 00:06:25,622 Slow down. 92 00:06:28,414 --> 00:06:29,289 Say... 93 00:06:33,414 --> 00:06:36,206 {\an8}Asterix has the right to change his diet. 94 00:06:36,206 --> 00:06:37,664 {\an8}Not everyone else's. 95 00:06:38,581 --> 00:06:39,914 Getafix, what's wrong? 96 00:06:43,456 --> 00:06:44,414 I'm sinking. 97 00:06:44,414 --> 00:06:45,539 You're sinking? 98 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,122 It must be quicksand. 99 00:06:47,122 --> 00:06:49,789 There is no quicksand in the region. 100 00:06:50,456 --> 00:06:52,539 If you ask me, someone needs to know. 101 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:54,622 {\an8}Chariot ahoy! 102 00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:56,914 {\an8}Chariot ahoy! 103 00:07:00,247 --> 00:07:01,247 {\an8}Excuse me. 104 00:07:02,206 --> 00:07:05,789 {\an8}Some nights, my voice just wants to scream 105 00:07:05,789 --> 00:07:07,539 Shut it, will you! 106 00:07:13,664 --> 00:07:15,747 {\an8}For once, I had a customer. 107 00:07:15,747 --> 00:07:17,581 {\an8}For once, you have fresh fish! 108 00:07:17,581 --> 00:07:20,039 What? My fish isn't fresh? 109 00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:28,122 {\an8}I'll take a look. 110 00:07:51,206 --> 00:07:54,456 {\an8}for Louise and Marcel 111 00:07:54,956 --> 00:07:55,997 Hold still. 112 00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:58,747 Bankruptis, already here? It's not autumn. 113 00:07:58,747 --> 00:07:59,747 You were hit? 114 00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:03,039 - Where's your uncle? - Quiet, for goodness' sake! 115 00:08:03,039 --> 00:08:04,872 My friends, how are you? 116 00:08:05,372 --> 00:08:07,872 I come from China to ask for help. 117 00:08:08,581 --> 00:08:09,456 It's nuts! 118 00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:10,956 Why are you blond? 119 00:08:10,956 --> 00:08:12,206 I was going to say. 120 00:08:12,206 --> 00:08:14,747 I'm a Gaul, all right? Always have been. 121 00:08:14,747 --> 00:08:16,414 Please... No slip-ups. 122 00:08:16,414 --> 00:08:18,289 No slip-ups, I'm begging you. 123 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:19,456 I'll explain. Come on. 124 00:08:30,497 --> 00:08:31,456 That one... 125 00:08:31,956 --> 00:08:33,497 The beautiful girl fast asleep 126 00:08:33,497 --> 00:08:34,872 is a princess. 127 00:08:34,872 --> 00:08:38,081 Named Sa See. Daughter of the Empress of China. 128 00:08:40,456 --> 00:08:42,122 You do know where China is? 129 00:08:44,706 --> 00:08:46,414 - Two princesses! - Actually, no. 130 00:08:46,414 --> 00:08:48,414 That's her bodyguard. Ka Ra Tay. 131 00:08:48,997 --> 00:08:52,289 Believe me, she's insane. Smashed everyone on the way. 132 00:08:52,289 --> 00:08:55,247 She smashed Scythians, smashed Parthians, smashed Huns! 133 00:08:55,914 --> 00:08:56,914 A beautiful woman. 134 00:08:56,914 --> 00:09:00,081 A female bodyguard? Don't make me laugh! 135 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,497 Go ahead, laugh. 136 00:09:01,997 --> 00:09:04,997 Share with us your Alpha male experience. 137 00:09:06,164 --> 00:09:08,247 Alpha male, just try to touch her. 138 00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:10,247 - Be my guest. - All right. 139 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,414 There you go! 140 00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:43,497 You drank potion? 141 00:09:44,122 --> 00:09:44,956 No. 142 00:09:45,831 --> 00:09:46,956 I don't get it. 143 00:09:46,956 --> 00:09:49,039 I get what's going on. 144 00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:52,164 And you'd better stop right now. 145 00:09:52,164 --> 00:09:55,414 Princess and I are more than friends, see? 146 00:09:56,081 --> 00:09:57,247 - You are? - We are. 147 00:09:57,789 --> 00:09:58,622 Princess... 148 00:10:01,789 --> 00:10:02,789 We have arrived. 149 00:10:06,956 --> 00:10:08,039 What is all this? 150 00:10:08,747 --> 00:10:10,789 - It's the chief! - Run! 151 00:10:11,289 --> 00:10:13,956 Vitalstatistix is chief of all us Gauls. 152 00:10:15,289 --> 00:10:17,581 Glad to see you, by Toutatis! 153 00:10:18,331 --> 00:10:21,372 Where's your Uncle Ekonomikrisis? His silk scarves are too small. 154 00:10:21,372 --> 00:10:22,664 Really? 155 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:25,039 He said they'd loosen up. I look loose? 156 00:10:25,039 --> 00:10:26,372 - No. - He's a crook! 157 00:10:27,456 --> 00:10:29,372 He sent me. Let me explain. 158 00:10:29,956 --> 00:10:32,372 Allow me to introduce Princess Sa See, 159 00:10:32,372 --> 00:10:34,914 daughter of the Empress of China. 160 00:10:36,997 --> 00:10:38,414 Who's she? 161 00:10:38,414 --> 00:10:40,122 - Thanks, Bankruptis. - You're welcome. 162 00:10:40,789 --> 00:10:44,414 Great Chief Vitalstatistix, let me explain the reasons for my visit. 163 00:10:44,414 --> 00:10:45,956 Getafix, is China far? 164 00:10:45,956 --> 00:10:48,956 Yes, it's where the sun rises. That way. 165 00:10:55,581 --> 00:10:58,831 Since the Princess's story could be very, very long, 166 00:10:58,831 --> 00:11:00,664 and not devoid of emotion, 167 00:11:00,664 --> 00:11:03,831 allow me to give you a potted version. 168 00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:06,622 The Princess lives with her mother, the Empress, 169 00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:09,956 who reigns with difficulty, since her husband's death, 170 00:11:09,956 --> 00:11:11,706 over her nation's six kingdoms. 171 00:11:11,706 --> 00:11:16,581 Beloved by her people, the Empress is confronted by ambitious princes 172 00:11:16,581 --> 00:11:18,831 who secretly covet her throne. 173 00:11:20,039 --> 00:11:23,664 The trouble began on the birthday of Princess Sa See, 174 00:11:23,664 --> 00:11:25,581 whom you met in the village. 175 00:11:25,581 --> 00:11:27,206 So this is a flashback. 176 00:11:31,664 --> 00:11:33,206 Another vase? 177 00:11:34,747 --> 00:11:38,122 Each year, same deal. Who's interested in Chinese vases? 178 00:11:38,122 --> 00:11:42,247 I'm 20 today, and never left this palace. Just gardens and guards! 179 00:11:42,247 --> 00:11:44,414 Sa See, for your security, you know... 180 00:11:44,414 --> 00:11:48,997 Father promised to take me to Lutetia. Its shops, its taverns... 181 00:11:48,997 --> 00:11:50,456 I want to see Gaul. 182 00:11:50,956 --> 00:11:54,372 We discussed this. It's dangerous to travel so far. 183 00:11:54,372 --> 00:11:55,456 The answer is no. 184 00:11:57,039 --> 00:11:58,539 Here, open this one. 185 00:12:00,331 --> 00:12:03,497 It's a coin with your head on it. Newly minted. 186 00:12:04,122 --> 00:12:05,581 To buy a dress in Lutetia? 187 00:12:06,539 --> 00:12:07,372 Sa See! 188 00:12:14,706 --> 00:12:16,206 Prince Deng Tsin Quin... 189 00:12:19,664 --> 00:12:22,372 I hear you raised taxes again in your kingdom, 190 00:12:22,372 --> 00:12:24,206 while your people endure famine. 191 00:12:24,206 --> 00:12:25,997 If I may, Your Majesty, 192 00:12:25,997 --> 00:12:30,039 Julius Caesar levied taxes across the Roman world, and it works! 193 00:12:30,039 --> 00:12:32,664 No pain, no pleasure, as they say back home. 194 00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:33,997 Who is he? 195 00:12:33,997 --> 00:12:36,956 Scar Dee Kat, my new strategic advisor. 196 00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,831 In Rome, he wielded power and influence. 197 00:12:40,331 --> 00:12:43,956 Put the Chinese people before bad Roman advice. 198 00:12:44,539 --> 00:12:46,914 Naturally, Your Imperial Majesty. 199 00:12:47,872 --> 00:12:48,956 Before I leave, 200 00:12:48,956 --> 00:12:51,747 have you considered my marriage proposal? 201 00:12:51,747 --> 00:12:53,456 I spoke with Princess Sa See. 202 00:12:53,456 --> 00:12:54,581 And? 203 00:12:55,289 --> 00:12:56,539 It made us laugh. 204 00:12:59,497 --> 00:13:01,164 Make a woman laugh and... 205 00:13:03,247 --> 00:13:04,289 Sorry. 206 00:13:04,872 --> 00:13:07,497 If it made Your Majesty and her daughter laugh, 207 00:13:07,497 --> 00:13:08,872 then so be it. 208 00:13:15,081 --> 00:13:15,914 Ka Ra Tay... 209 00:13:19,539 --> 00:13:20,956 My faithful warrior, 210 00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:22,747 fetch my daughter. 211 00:13:46,414 --> 00:13:47,872 This is China. 212 00:13:48,414 --> 00:13:51,664 The Chinese love all things Gaul, so we're Gauls. Simple. 213 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,164 For a Phoenician, it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis. 214 00:13:55,372 --> 00:13:56,581 Ekonomikrisix! 215 00:13:56,581 --> 00:13:58,664 Get it into your head! 216 00:13:58,664 --> 00:14:01,081 You guys are Premix and Overmix. 217 00:14:01,581 --> 00:14:02,956 We are Gauls. 218 00:14:02,956 --> 00:14:03,956 Gotix? 219 00:14:03,956 --> 00:14:05,872 As usual, we make all the efforts. 220 00:14:06,581 --> 00:14:07,456 Only you? 221 00:14:10,664 --> 00:14:12,289 Laugh? You're laughing? 222 00:14:12,289 --> 00:14:14,581 Am I laughing about going blond? 223 00:14:15,247 --> 00:14:17,789 Grab those papyri and hit the streets. Move! 224 00:14:17,789 --> 00:14:19,914 Go, yalla! I mean, let's go. 225 00:14:19,914 --> 00:14:21,914 Put those helmets on! There! 226 00:14:22,497 --> 00:14:23,539 Let's go! 227 00:14:23,539 --> 00:14:24,872 China is ours! 228 00:14:26,539 --> 00:14:27,622 No snooping. 229 00:14:28,206 --> 00:14:29,664 You need help? 230 00:14:29,664 --> 00:14:31,206 Touch it, buy it. Golden rule. 231 00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:33,414 They're genuine Louboutix? 232 00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,122 "They're genuine Louboutix?" 233 00:14:35,122 --> 00:14:37,831 Of course they are. Look at the sole! 234 00:14:37,831 --> 00:14:41,706 As red as the price tag. If you can't afford them, try Diskountos. 235 00:14:43,414 --> 00:14:46,414 Give my stall some space. Scram! 236 00:14:47,331 --> 00:14:48,497 You nincompoop! 237 00:14:49,331 --> 00:14:50,831 Sorry, Her Majesty. 238 00:14:50,831 --> 00:14:52,456 Sorry for my nephew. 239 00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:55,122 He has his mother's temper. 240 00:14:55,122 --> 00:14:56,622 True, everybody says so. 241 00:14:56,622 --> 00:14:59,622 Of course, for you, sandals are on the house. 242 00:14:59,622 --> 00:15:01,872 I'll take them out of his wages. 243 00:15:01,872 --> 00:15:04,039 - That hurt. - Yup. Your fault. 244 00:15:04,039 --> 00:15:06,122 Ekonomikrisix, at your service. 245 00:15:06,747 --> 00:15:08,581 No one shakes hands here. 246 00:15:08,581 --> 00:15:10,247 - No one. - Not one. 247 00:15:10,247 --> 00:15:13,247 A most regrettable mistake, Princess. 248 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:14,956 Gorgeous. 249 00:15:17,372 --> 00:15:18,997 Bankruptix, the nephew. 250 00:15:18,997 --> 00:15:21,289 I have my mother's temper. 251 00:15:21,289 --> 00:15:22,372 As well as... 252 00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:24,122 her eyes. 253 00:15:26,997 --> 00:15:28,622 I envy you your blond hair. 254 00:15:29,289 --> 00:15:32,539 I had no choice, Princess. I was born this way. 255 00:15:32,539 --> 00:15:34,289 Nature decided for me. 256 00:15:34,289 --> 00:15:36,206 Your Imperial Majesty, 257 00:15:36,206 --> 00:15:41,664 if you'd care to forgive us and taste our famous nectar from Gaul, 258 00:15:41,664 --> 00:15:42,956 the honour's all ours. 259 00:15:44,081 --> 00:15:45,081 Come in. 260 00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:47,289 A great vintage. 261 00:15:47,289 --> 00:15:50,456 To celebrate the great and majestic empress. 262 00:15:51,956 --> 00:15:53,622 On the nose, fruity notes. 263 00:15:54,164 --> 00:15:55,247 There's sunshine. 264 00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,664 There's pine and shade. 265 00:15:57,664 --> 00:15:59,872 I'm getting hints of chestnut. 266 00:15:59,872 --> 00:16:01,081 Bananas. 267 00:16:01,081 --> 00:16:02,747 And dates. 268 00:16:02,747 --> 00:16:05,872 Overall, more fruit salad than wine. 269 00:16:10,164 --> 00:16:11,497 I want Gaul of it 270 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,122 I'll take the lot. 271 00:16:25,539 --> 00:16:26,789 Perfumes from Gaul? 272 00:16:26,789 --> 00:16:28,706 But of course, Princess. 273 00:16:28,706 --> 00:16:30,706 All our perfumes come from Gaul. 274 00:16:30,706 --> 00:16:32,247 Like me and my sales team. 275 00:16:33,581 --> 00:16:35,331 This is the latest creation 276 00:16:35,331 --> 00:16:38,247 that every Gaul lady would die for. Amphor. 277 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:39,789 Amphor? 278 00:16:40,289 --> 00:16:41,372 I adore! 279 00:16:41,372 --> 00:16:42,706 I adore, too. 280 00:16:42,706 --> 00:16:44,122 Archers! Loose! 281 00:16:44,122 --> 00:16:45,164 Watch out! 282 00:16:53,122 --> 00:16:54,539 Sa See, are you hurt? 283 00:16:54,539 --> 00:16:55,956 No, mother, I'm fine. 284 00:16:55,956 --> 00:16:56,872 Anything broken? 285 00:16:56,872 --> 00:16:58,664 No, I'm fine. 286 00:16:58,664 --> 00:17:00,039 I meant the stock. 287 00:17:00,039 --> 00:17:01,122 Nice. 288 00:17:01,122 --> 00:17:02,539 Hey, Empress! 289 00:17:02,539 --> 00:17:03,872 Come out, hands up! 290 00:17:03,872 --> 00:17:06,081 And no one will get hurt. 291 00:17:06,622 --> 00:17:07,706 You're encircled. 292 00:17:07,706 --> 00:17:09,039 And slanted! 293 00:17:11,289 --> 00:17:14,081 You said "encircled", like eyes with makeup. 294 00:17:14,081 --> 00:17:15,539 And I added "And..." 295 00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:20,997 There's another exit? 296 00:17:20,997 --> 00:17:22,664 Yes. My secret passage. 297 00:17:22,664 --> 00:17:24,622 In case customs raid... 298 00:17:24,622 --> 00:17:26,372 I mean, in case of fire. 299 00:17:26,372 --> 00:17:28,081 It's the fire escape. 300 00:17:28,956 --> 00:17:31,206 Ka Ra Tay, take my daughter and go. 301 00:17:31,206 --> 00:17:32,997 No, Mother. Flee with us. 302 00:17:32,997 --> 00:17:35,122 The Empress of China does not flee. Go! 303 00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:36,747 The traitor wants you. 304 00:17:37,247 --> 00:17:38,081 Let's go. 305 00:17:39,872 --> 00:17:41,247 - Bye, Princess. - Stop it! 306 00:17:41,247 --> 00:17:44,456 I'll stay. A good merchant never abandons his merchandise. 307 00:17:44,456 --> 00:17:45,914 Like a ship's captain. 308 00:17:47,872 --> 00:17:49,247 Go home and fetch the others. 309 00:17:49,247 --> 00:17:50,622 What? Uncle Mahmood? 310 00:17:50,622 --> 00:17:52,456 No! Our other home. 311 00:17:52,456 --> 00:17:53,831 - That home? - That home! 312 00:17:53,831 --> 00:17:54,872 It's miles away! 313 00:17:54,872 --> 00:17:55,997 So get going! 314 00:17:57,122 --> 00:17:58,081 No, wait! 315 00:17:58,747 --> 00:18:00,456 Take good care of the princess. 316 00:18:00,456 --> 00:18:01,997 We are not losing this sale. 317 00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:05,497 Just imagine. You're saving the Princess of China. 318 00:18:13,081 --> 00:18:14,456 I'll work it out later. 319 00:18:14,456 --> 00:18:15,664 Take care, Unc! 320 00:18:20,706 --> 00:18:22,831 I trained in Phoenician boxing. 321 00:18:22,831 --> 00:18:23,914 Leave this to me. 322 00:18:24,872 --> 00:18:27,122 So you guys are harassing the ladies? 323 00:18:32,622 --> 00:18:34,497 I went in there and... 324 00:18:35,664 --> 00:18:36,831 What happened? 325 00:18:36,831 --> 00:18:38,622 You got kicked in the head. 326 00:18:39,289 --> 00:18:41,039 All right, I get it now. 327 00:18:41,039 --> 00:18:43,164 So who's laughing now, Empress? 328 00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:45,372 Excuse me a second, who are you? 329 00:18:45,372 --> 00:18:48,664 I don't get any of this. I'm confused, totally lost. 330 00:18:49,706 --> 00:18:51,706 - Well? - The Princess has vanished. 331 00:18:51,706 --> 00:18:54,164 If she's hiding, she's a smart cookie! 332 00:18:54,664 --> 00:18:56,622 A shifty little fish! 333 00:18:57,789 --> 00:18:58,831 Scour the kingdom! 334 00:18:58,831 --> 00:19:00,372 Offer a handsome reward! 335 00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:03,622 I want her alive at our magnificent forced marriage! 336 00:19:06,206 --> 00:19:07,456 I know my daughter. 337 00:19:07,956 --> 00:19:09,372 She'll come for revenge. 338 00:19:09,372 --> 00:19:12,622 Scary! A spoilt little girl who never left home. 339 00:19:12,622 --> 00:19:14,789 - That's my wife you're talking about. - Sorry. 340 00:19:14,789 --> 00:19:18,789 I'm sorry too. I'm so confused, totally lost! 341 00:19:18,789 --> 00:19:20,789 I'll have you beheaded, Empress. 342 00:19:20,789 --> 00:19:23,789 No, there'll be no beheading. It's rude, sir. 343 00:19:23,789 --> 00:19:26,581 Yes, Deng Tsin Quin, you can't kill the Empress. 344 00:19:26,581 --> 00:19:27,956 What? 345 00:19:27,956 --> 00:19:31,206 It's tricky. The other four kingdoms' princes hate you. 346 00:19:31,206 --> 00:19:33,706 They claim you're not Emperor material. 347 00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:36,997 They say you are "physically unbecoming with a tiny..." 348 00:19:36,997 --> 00:19:38,664 - Nonsense. - No, army! 349 00:19:39,164 --> 00:19:41,581 A tiny army. The tiniest of all of them. 350 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,456 In combat, it's hopeless. 351 00:19:43,456 --> 00:19:46,206 Your impudence suggests you have a plan. 352 00:19:46,206 --> 00:19:47,456 Naturally. 353 00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:49,664 My idea... 354 00:19:51,622 --> 00:19:53,414 Take them away! Let's go! 355 00:19:53,414 --> 00:19:54,706 Take it easy! 356 00:19:54,706 --> 00:19:57,497 Easy! Mind the Empress and my wares. 357 00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,497 China is ours! 358 00:20:31,414 --> 00:20:32,956 Princess, it'll be fine. 359 00:20:32,956 --> 00:20:34,081 I'm here for you. 360 00:20:35,247 --> 00:20:36,331 I'm here. 361 00:20:38,331 --> 00:20:39,872 Don't worry. We'll help you. 362 00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:43,581 Everyone knows that we Gauls just love to help. 363 00:20:43,581 --> 00:20:44,497 No! 364 00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:48,081 Not a chance. 365 00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:50,914 Was it just me or did her story drag on? 366 00:20:52,289 --> 00:20:56,372 By Benelos, how come folks always come asking us for help? 367 00:20:57,039 --> 00:20:58,372 Vitalstatistix, 368 00:20:58,372 --> 00:20:59,747 it's a tradition 369 00:20:59,747 --> 00:21:01,872 for us to help those in need. 370 00:21:02,456 --> 00:21:04,539 Not forgetting Bankrup... 371 00:21:05,247 --> 00:21:06,164 Tis. 372 00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:07,539 Bankruptix. 373 00:21:08,081 --> 00:21:09,497 The answer's no. There! 374 00:21:09,497 --> 00:21:11,039 It's often been yes. 375 00:21:11,039 --> 00:21:11,956 But it's no. 376 00:21:12,622 --> 00:21:14,039 I'm not feeling it. 377 00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:15,539 China's unknown to us. 378 00:21:15,539 --> 00:21:17,289 We don't know where it is. 379 00:21:17,289 --> 00:21:18,247 Sure we do. 380 00:21:18,247 --> 00:21:19,331 Even I know. 381 00:21:19,831 --> 00:21:22,497 It's the way where the sun rises. 382 00:21:23,247 --> 00:21:24,497 Stumped him. 383 00:21:24,997 --> 00:21:26,706 I don't know and I decide. 384 00:21:26,706 --> 00:21:28,789 Great Chief, I respect your decision. 385 00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:31,289 I depart to save my mother and country. 386 00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:32,622 Princess! 387 00:21:35,331 --> 00:21:36,539 I'm up for it. 388 00:21:37,081 --> 00:21:39,831 And anyway, I'm free right now. 389 00:21:40,997 --> 00:21:42,289 I'm free too. 390 00:21:42,289 --> 00:21:44,081 I want to go too. 391 00:21:44,081 --> 00:21:46,247 You two! Who's in the chair? 392 00:21:47,539 --> 00:21:48,914 You're chief now? 393 00:21:49,497 --> 00:21:51,372 Discussion over. It's no. 394 00:21:51,372 --> 00:21:53,372 Are you out of your mind? 395 00:21:54,081 --> 00:21:55,664 Some village chief! 396 00:21:56,164 --> 00:21:58,039 Ignoring a damsel's tears. 397 00:21:58,039 --> 00:22:00,039 - Mimenta... - Don't Mimenta me! 398 00:22:00,039 --> 00:22:02,914 - Welcome our Chinese friends! - Yup. 399 00:22:03,497 --> 00:22:04,539 You and your Gaul! 400 00:22:05,289 --> 00:22:06,831 All because it's too far? 401 00:22:06,831 --> 00:22:08,664 As if you'd be going! 402 00:22:10,039 --> 00:22:12,456 No, it's Asterix and Obelix, as usual. 403 00:22:14,039 --> 00:22:16,414 If some idiot writes our history one day, 404 00:22:16,414 --> 00:22:19,872 the title will never be The Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul. 405 00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:21,622 Dogmatix travels more than you. 406 00:22:22,456 --> 00:22:23,581 Hear that, Dogmatix? 407 00:22:26,372 --> 00:22:27,581 Stones fired! 408 00:22:27,581 --> 00:22:30,997 Magic potion for the boys in the village, you're in. 409 00:22:30,997 --> 00:22:33,456 But anything more delicate, you're out? 410 00:22:42,664 --> 00:22:43,664 All right, go. 411 00:22:46,747 --> 00:22:48,497 Thank you. Heartfelt thanks. 412 00:22:49,289 --> 00:22:52,789 So you're starting on a journey 413 00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,872 So we're parting tonight 414 00:22:57,914 --> 00:22:59,206 My heart has turned to... 415 00:22:59,206 --> 00:23:00,247 jelly 416 00:23:08,872 --> 00:23:12,831 Meanwhile, in the eternal, beautifully irrigated city of Rome, 417 00:23:12,831 --> 00:23:15,956 Julius Caesar, in his magnificent palace, 418 00:23:15,956 --> 00:23:19,414 lives in domestic bliss with the powerful Queen of Egypt, 419 00:23:19,414 --> 00:23:22,039 sublime, dulcet Cleopatra. 420 00:23:22,039 --> 00:23:23,706 I've had it up to here! 421 00:23:23,706 --> 00:23:26,581 Know what? I've had it up to here! 422 00:23:31,872 --> 00:23:33,331 May I ask what you're doing? 423 00:23:33,331 --> 00:23:35,872 Packing my trunks and heading home. 424 00:23:35,872 --> 00:23:37,581 Why didn't I listen to Mummy? 425 00:23:39,081 --> 00:23:41,914 Now it's over, I can tell you. There's another man. 426 00:23:41,914 --> 00:23:43,372 What do you mean? 427 00:23:44,997 --> 00:23:46,456 You can't be serious. 428 00:23:47,789 --> 00:23:49,872 What do you mean, another man? 429 00:23:50,539 --> 00:23:53,247 What is this? Infidelitatis? 430 00:23:53,247 --> 00:23:54,206 Nailed it. 431 00:23:56,331 --> 00:23:57,247 And... 432 00:23:58,789 --> 00:24:01,664 May I ask for whom you leave mighty Caesar? 433 00:24:03,039 --> 00:24:04,247 Tabascos! 434 00:24:05,581 --> 00:24:06,414 Tabascos? 435 00:24:06,414 --> 00:24:07,539 The Greek? 436 00:24:11,164 --> 00:24:13,247 Tabascos the Greek! 437 00:24:13,247 --> 00:24:16,206 So you'd leave mighty Caesar 438 00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:19,747 to shack up with a gym teacher? 439 00:24:21,372 --> 00:24:24,164 Well, we'll discuss this after the lions. 440 00:24:25,164 --> 00:24:27,122 I forbid you to harm him. 441 00:24:28,164 --> 00:24:29,747 I love him, you hear? 442 00:24:30,497 --> 00:24:31,456 You love him? 443 00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:34,081 You love him? 444 00:24:35,622 --> 00:24:36,914 What's he got that I don't? 445 00:24:36,914 --> 00:24:39,247 He's an international gymnast. 446 00:24:39,247 --> 00:24:41,831 Outside Rome and Gaul, you're a complete unknown. 447 00:24:43,956 --> 00:24:46,039 A complete unknown? Julius Caesar? 448 00:24:46,664 --> 00:24:50,456 Fine. You have international ambitions? Go with your athlete. 449 00:24:50,456 --> 00:24:53,122 {\an8}Let the Greek tsat your ziki! 450 00:24:54,831 --> 00:24:56,664 May I, O Caesar? 451 00:24:56,664 --> 00:24:59,414 Minor marital contretemps. All settled. 452 00:25:00,206 --> 00:25:04,206 Speak, Slius Foxxus, devious and unsightly advisor of mine. 453 00:25:04,206 --> 00:25:05,122 Ave, Caesar! 454 00:25:05,122 --> 00:25:07,914 Your perspicacity captures me perfectly. 455 00:25:16,206 --> 00:25:18,081 May I introduce Scar Dee Kat, 456 00:25:18,081 --> 00:25:22,539 envoy of Prince Deng Tsin Quin, the new master of China. 457 00:25:22,539 --> 00:25:26,206 How does an empire so big have an advisor so small? 458 00:25:26,789 --> 00:25:29,497 Size doesn't matter, skill does, Caesar. 459 00:25:29,497 --> 00:25:31,247 Some men have neither. 460 00:25:34,497 --> 00:25:35,664 She's a looker. 461 00:25:36,164 --> 00:25:37,039 Well, half-pint? 462 00:25:37,039 --> 00:25:41,081 I come to offer you the riches of my adopted land 463 00:25:41,081 --> 00:25:43,581 in return for modest military support. 464 00:25:43,581 --> 00:25:47,206 Your land? Even great Alexander abandoned the conquest of China. 465 00:25:47,206 --> 00:25:51,289 A great opportunity to expand my empire. Your empire, O Caesar! 466 00:25:51,289 --> 00:25:53,497 I have conquered enough. 467 00:25:53,497 --> 00:25:56,872 My name will go down in the annals of history. 468 00:25:56,872 --> 00:25:59,581 I love when you say that. Love it! 469 00:25:59,581 --> 00:26:01,914 What a way with words. Right? 470 00:26:01,914 --> 00:26:04,039 Biopix, my Gallician biographer. 471 00:26:04,039 --> 00:26:08,164 How inspiring is the fabulous tale of almighty Caesar! 472 00:26:08,164 --> 00:26:09,664 Vade retro, both of you. 473 00:26:09,664 --> 00:26:11,289 Caesar, may I point out, 474 00:26:11,289 --> 00:26:13,081 in terms of going down in history, 475 00:26:13,581 --> 00:26:15,664 in China, you are unknown. 476 00:26:15,664 --> 00:26:17,247 What was I saying? 477 00:26:18,622 --> 00:26:20,497 That's quite enough! 478 00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:24,414 I, Julius Caesar, man of a thousand conquests? 479 00:26:24,414 --> 00:26:25,789 Unknown? 480 00:26:25,789 --> 00:26:26,872 Alas! 481 00:26:38,706 --> 00:26:40,247 He speaks the truth. 482 00:26:40,247 --> 00:26:41,497 In China, at least. 483 00:26:41,497 --> 00:26:43,914 It's all good, don't worry. 484 00:26:44,414 --> 00:26:47,956 Scar Dee Kat, step forward to discuss our alliance 485 00:26:48,456 --> 00:26:49,497 with your land 486 00:26:49,497 --> 00:26:51,789 that will soon know my name! 487 00:26:54,122 --> 00:26:57,622 Explain clearly. Be sure not to toss Caesar a salad. 488 00:27:01,914 --> 00:27:04,456 I swapped your clunker for something tougher. 489 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:07,747 That's what I call a chariot. Unbeatable! On loan from cousin Turbo. 490 00:27:08,331 --> 00:27:09,664 I added boar stomachs. 491 00:27:10,872 --> 00:27:13,372 A kind of air cushion to absorb shocks. 492 00:27:14,456 --> 00:27:15,581 The sunroof! 493 00:27:16,872 --> 00:27:18,039 You know what? 494 00:27:18,039 --> 00:27:19,497 I made a perfect chariot. 495 00:27:19,997 --> 00:27:20,914 Magnificent. 496 00:27:25,372 --> 00:27:26,247 Let's go! 497 00:27:27,872 --> 00:27:29,914 Princess, if you'd care to board. 498 00:27:34,164 --> 00:27:34,997 Too bad. 499 00:27:36,914 --> 00:27:38,247 We'll have a great trip. 500 00:27:40,081 --> 00:27:43,497 Asterix, I made you a flask of magic potion, 501 00:27:43,497 --> 00:27:46,831 but Obelix tells me you don't need it, so I... 502 00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:48,706 No, that's fine. 503 00:27:51,581 --> 00:27:52,747 But just in case. 504 00:27:54,331 --> 00:27:55,664 I'm cutting down. 505 00:27:55,664 --> 00:27:58,081 Watch out, I beefed it up. 506 00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:05,331 You had some? 507 00:28:06,581 --> 00:28:08,247 No, just a quick taste. 508 00:28:08,247 --> 00:28:09,622 Just to see. 509 00:28:12,331 --> 00:28:13,581 Good luck, Princess. 510 00:28:14,331 --> 00:28:15,206 As for you two, 511 00:28:15,706 --> 00:28:17,622 be brave, reckless 512 00:28:17,622 --> 00:28:20,122 and disingenuous. In a word... 513 00:28:20,622 --> 00:28:21,622 Be Gauls! 514 00:28:23,747 --> 00:28:24,789 Hold on tight. 515 00:28:25,289 --> 00:28:28,122 It'll be much faster than on the way here. 516 00:28:30,831 --> 00:28:33,247 Sorry but can I just point out, 517 00:28:33,914 --> 00:28:37,831 the bard's role is to celebrate heroes and their exploits? 518 00:28:39,289 --> 00:28:41,539 If I never travel, what am I? 519 00:28:43,039 --> 00:28:43,956 Excellent idea. 520 00:28:44,872 --> 00:28:46,414 Cacophonix will go with... 521 00:28:51,456 --> 00:28:52,997 They forgot me. 522 00:28:53,831 --> 00:28:56,789 They forgot me! 523 00:29:02,372 --> 00:29:05,706 And so, at high speed, our friends head south, 524 00:29:05,706 --> 00:29:09,289 favouring the maritime route that, according to Getafix, 525 00:29:09,289 --> 00:29:11,289 is faster than the Silk Road. 526 00:29:12,039 --> 00:29:14,747 Having rowed across the Mediterranean, 527 00:29:14,747 --> 00:29:16,122 thanks to Obelix, 528 00:29:16,122 --> 00:29:18,331 they reach northern Africa. 529 00:29:24,914 --> 00:29:26,414 Rub and wring. 530 00:29:26,997 --> 00:29:28,872 Ka Ra Tay, I asked to learn kung fu. 531 00:29:31,747 --> 00:29:32,872 Rub... 532 00:29:33,914 --> 00:29:35,081 and wring. 533 00:29:42,039 --> 00:29:43,247 No, not again. 534 00:29:44,831 --> 00:29:46,747 All good? Enjoying the show? 535 00:29:46,747 --> 00:29:49,539 Want a beer? A chair? Coming right up. 536 00:29:50,664 --> 00:29:53,289 Not coming up! What are you doing? 537 00:29:53,289 --> 00:29:54,414 Same as you. 538 00:29:54,414 --> 00:29:56,247 She knows you peep? 539 00:29:56,247 --> 00:29:57,622 I might tell her. 540 00:30:01,331 --> 00:30:02,164 Sublime! 541 00:30:03,081 --> 00:30:04,872 She's learning to do laundry 542 00:30:04,872 --> 00:30:08,414 to prepare for her new, tougher life in Gaul with me. 543 00:30:09,414 --> 00:30:12,164 A Chinese princess in Gaul? With those hicks? 544 00:30:12,164 --> 00:30:13,247 Don't make me laugh. 545 00:30:13,747 --> 00:30:16,831 When I say Sa See and I are together, you turn Deaf? 546 00:30:16,831 --> 00:30:20,164 - You're not together. - We are together. Six months now. 547 00:30:20,164 --> 00:30:21,247 Really? 548 00:30:21,872 --> 00:30:23,122 No way! 549 00:30:23,122 --> 00:30:25,039 My friends, once and for all, 550 00:30:25,039 --> 00:30:28,081 Sa See and I are serious. It's love. And marriage. 551 00:30:29,331 --> 00:30:31,414 - Congrats, Bankruptis. - Thank you. 552 00:30:31,414 --> 00:30:33,247 I love weddings. Love them. 553 00:30:33,247 --> 00:30:35,164 - With a banquet? - Of course. 554 00:30:35,164 --> 00:30:37,456 Know what? You'll be my best man. 555 00:30:38,456 --> 00:30:40,581 Thank you. I was never anyone's best man. 556 00:30:40,581 --> 00:30:43,581 Can you stop being so gullible? 557 00:30:43,581 --> 00:30:44,872 It gets annoying. 558 00:30:44,872 --> 00:30:47,497 - If they're in love, don't blame me. - Yup. 559 00:30:47,497 --> 00:30:49,039 They're not in love. 560 00:30:49,039 --> 00:30:51,581 If Sa See isn't with anyone, she's with no one. 561 00:30:51,581 --> 00:30:52,789 It's on. 562 00:30:52,789 --> 00:30:56,039 I can't wait to see her face when I tell her 563 00:30:56,789 --> 00:30:58,997 you're a phony Gaul and fake blonde. 564 00:30:58,997 --> 00:31:03,414 Yeah? Well, I can't wait to see her face when I tell her your moustache... 565 00:31:03,414 --> 00:31:04,914 What about it? 566 00:31:04,914 --> 00:31:06,164 Your moustache... 567 00:31:07,331 --> 00:31:08,372 sucks. 568 00:31:11,622 --> 00:31:12,539 So lame. 569 00:31:15,372 --> 00:31:16,289 I went too far. 570 00:31:16,289 --> 00:31:17,539 Not the moustache! 571 00:31:17,539 --> 00:31:19,122 I know, but he pushes me. 572 00:31:19,122 --> 00:31:20,997 Sure but not the moustache! 573 00:31:21,997 --> 00:31:22,914 What's he doing? 574 00:31:23,664 --> 00:31:25,914 Unbelievable! He's snitching on us! 575 00:31:25,914 --> 00:31:28,039 He's something else, your friend! 576 00:31:28,039 --> 00:31:29,081 She's coming our way. 577 00:31:31,831 --> 00:31:32,706 What's up? 578 00:31:32,706 --> 00:31:36,081 Nothing. We're just looking for a date. 579 00:31:37,122 --> 00:31:38,331 For the wedding. 580 00:31:38,331 --> 00:31:40,122 No, to eat. The fruit! 581 00:31:40,122 --> 00:31:41,164 At the wedding. 582 00:31:41,164 --> 00:31:42,539 No, to eat here. 583 00:31:42,539 --> 00:31:43,622 I'm the best man! 584 00:31:44,206 --> 00:31:46,789 He's impossible. He talks nonsense. 585 00:31:48,206 --> 00:31:49,331 Yes, let's go. 586 00:31:51,497 --> 00:31:53,497 Is it so hard to let me do the talking? 587 00:31:59,706 --> 00:32:01,206 'Night, Smartypants! 588 00:32:02,747 --> 00:32:04,331 'Night, Two-Faced Friend! 589 00:32:05,914 --> 00:32:07,122 'Night, Veggie Lover! 590 00:32:07,706 --> 00:32:10,372 Veggies are yummy. So yummy! 591 00:32:10,372 --> 00:32:12,081 'Night, Fake Blonde! 592 00:32:12,081 --> 00:32:14,581 Can't you just say goodnight? 593 00:32:15,622 --> 00:32:16,664 It was him. 594 00:32:16,664 --> 00:32:17,997 'Night, Ka Ra Tay. 595 00:32:24,247 --> 00:32:26,372 You think Mother's still alive? 596 00:32:26,372 --> 00:32:29,831 The Empress is the daughter of the heavens. 597 00:32:30,331 --> 00:32:31,539 No harm can come to her. 598 00:32:35,372 --> 00:32:37,747 'Night, I'm In Love and can't admit it! 599 00:32:37,747 --> 00:32:41,539 'Night, Poppycock who's so fat that he's all belly! 600 00:32:41,539 --> 00:32:45,331 'Night, Lonesome Gaul, so alone like a tiny insect! 601 00:32:45,831 --> 00:32:47,497 - Enough! - Yes. 602 00:32:47,497 --> 00:32:48,497 Sorry. 603 00:33:08,789 --> 00:33:11,331 Hello, how are you? 604 00:33:11,331 --> 00:33:12,706 Good trip? 605 00:33:28,539 --> 00:33:31,622 Your daughter's vanished. We looked too long in a land too big. 606 00:33:31,622 --> 00:33:34,247 Hello perhaps? There's two of us. 607 00:33:34,247 --> 00:33:37,706 When military support arrives, off with your head. 608 00:33:37,706 --> 00:33:42,122 I remember now. You're the guy who loves beheading folks. 609 00:33:42,122 --> 00:33:43,206 You too, merchant. 610 00:33:43,789 --> 00:33:46,497 No, leave me out of this. We really need to... 611 00:33:46,497 --> 00:33:47,914 Balls for you! 612 00:33:52,872 --> 00:33:53,914 Day one. 613 00:33:54,539 --> 00:33:57,706 When no balls are left, if the princess won't show, 614 00:33:59,372 --> 00:34:00,206 you two... 615 00:34:03,081 --> 00:34:04,247 We have two lives. 616 00:34:04,247 --> 00:34:07,331 The second begins when we see we have only one. 617 00:34:08,997 --> 00:34:09,956 I thank you. 618 00:34:13,789 --> 00:34:15,706 That's what I call an Empress. 619 00:34:16,289 --> 00:34:17,164 Love it. 620 00:34:17,164 --> 00:34:19,914 We have two lives and it ends when... 621 00:34:19,914 --> 00:34:22,164 The second life begins with... 622 00:34:23,747 --> 00:34:26,581 We have two lives and when they begin... 623 00:34:27,414 --> 00:34:28,414 I thank you. 624 00:34:35,206 --> 00:34:36,164 Meanwhile, 625 00:34:36,164 --> 00:34:39,164 Caesar, his immense army and Scar Dee Kat 626 00:34:39,164 --> 00:34:42,831 travel the Silk Road, headed at top speed for China. 627 00:34:42,831 --> 00:34:43,997 Or almost. 628 00:34:45,581 --> 00:34:46,789 This is the Silk Road? 629 00:34:46,789 --> 00:34:49,206 We're lost, aren't we? Just admit it. 630 00:34:49,872 --> 00:34:51,914 Woopsus, what is this route? 631 00:34:51,914 --> 00:34:54,706 At least 9,000 men struck northwards. 632 00:34:54,706 --> 00:34:56,372 I can't work like this. 633 00:34:56,372 --> 00:34:57,872 It's just impossible! 634 00:34:58,664 --> 00:35:00,497 Join the army, they said! 635 00:35:04,664 --> 00:35:06,872 Woopsus, your call, left or right? 636 00:35:06,872 --> 00:35:08,956 Easy-peasy papyrus, Caesar. Left. 637 00:35:08,956 --> 00:35:10,206 So we'll go right. 638 00:35:10,747 --> 00:35:13,789 Sorry, will this go on long? Left-right, right-left... 639 00:35:13,789 --> 00:35:16,497 We'll reach China on the 12th of Never. 640 00:35:16,497 --> 00:35:17,956 The upstart! 641 00:35:17,956 --> 00:35:19,747 Hail! Risklus, imperial security. 642 00:35:20,456 --> 00:35:22,206 Risklus, imperial security. 643 00:35:24,081 --> 00:35:27,872 Risklus! Everyone knows you here. Where is Antivirus? 644 00:35:27,872 --> 00:35:30,081 Still on the campaign in Milan. 645 00:35:30,081 --> 00:35:32,039 He's not reading my pigeons. 646 00:35:33,706 --> 00:35:34,956 Caesar, I'm here. 647 00:35:35,914 --> 00:35:38,706 - It's not the same. - Not at all the same. 648 00:35:38,706 --> 00:35:39,956 What do you want? 649 00:35:40,497 --> 00:35:44,039 Almighty Caesar, Carioca, head dancer, wants an audience. 650 00:35:44,039 --> 00:35:46,872 She has demands. For respect or something. 651 00:35:46,872 --> 00:35:47,831 I beat her? 652 00:35:48,581 --> 00:35:49,456 Are you nuts? 653 00:35:50,164 --> 00:35:51,206 Show her in. 654 00:35:54,622 --> 00:35:55,456 Tapioca! 655 00:36:01,956 --> 00:36:04,081 So, Carioca, what do you want? 656 00:36:04,081 --> 00:36:08,039 Caesar, we received new outfits and what do we see? 657 00:36:08,039 --> 00:36:10,206 Shorter than ever. What a surprise! 658 00:36:11,706 --> 00:36:14,956 If you want go-go taverns, Rome is full of them. 659 00:36:15,539 --> 00:36:16,997 I'm sure I have no idea. 660 00:36:16,997 --> 00:36:19,664 Sure! The Palladium near the market. 661 00:36:19,664 --> 00:36:21,539 Or there's Sternum, or Scrotum. 662 00:36:21,539 --> 00:36:22,622 Right... 663 00:36:23,664 --> 00:36:26,956 So, what do you want? Longer outfits for your dancers? 664 00:36:26,956 --> 00:36:28,039 It's a start. 665 00:36:28,039 --> 00:36:32,331 And let's talk about the role of women in Roman society. 666 00:36:32,331 --> 00:36:35,497 Look closely and it's all about men here. 667 00:36:35,497 --> 00:36:37,247 Gladiators? Men. 668 00:36:37,247 --> 00:36:38,747 Senators? Men only. 669 00:36:38,747 --> 00:36:40,372 Legionaries? Men only. 670 00:36:40,372 --> 00:36:41,997 Caesars? Men only. 671 00:36:42,497 --> 00:36:43,789 You want a Julia Caesar? 672 00:36:47,956 --> 00:36:49,706 You want Rome run by a woman? 673 00:36:52,122 --> 00:36:52,997 I see. 674 00:37:01,456 --> 00:37:03,206 Back to our friends. 675 00:37:03,206 --> 00:37:08,289 After crossing the Egyptian desert in sweltering heat, 676 00:37:08,289 --> 00:37:12,164 they reach the Red Sea and the city of Klysma, 677 00:37:12,164 --> 00:37:16,206 a small Egyptian port, later known as Suez. 678 00:37:16,206 --> 00:37:17,539 Yes, like the canal. 679 00:37:23,664 --> 00:37:27,331 If we want a captain, I guarantee we'll find one here. 680 00:37:27,997 --> 00:37:30,831 Look, Asterix, the tavern's called Little Lutetia. 681 00:37:30,831 --> 00:37:37,372 Dare to come and cast the first stone 682 00:37:40,581 --> 00:37:43,122 To fall for one head over heels 683 00:37:43,122 --> 00:37:45,039 leaves a wound that never heals 684 00:37:45,039 --> 00:37:49,247 But the love you feel is the real deal 685 00:37:52,372 --> 00:37:54,997 So don't be harsh or disapprove 686 00:37:55,664 --> 00:37:58,497 When a woman falls in love 687 00:38:00,456 --> 00:38:02,831 - You don't know it. - I know it by heart. 688 00:38:02,831 --> 00:38:05,539 With a man who sweeps her off her feet 689 00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:13,622 See? That's Gaul for you! 690 00:38:13,622 --> 00:38:15,122 I love this place. 691 00:38:15,122 --> 00:38:17,581 Exactly how I pictured Lutetia. 692 00:38:19,539 --> 00:38:20,539 Same here. 693 00:38:25,497 --> 00:38:27,914 That's so good! You're a Gaul for sure. 694 00:38:27,914 --> 00:38:30,206 Yes, duckie. Born and bred. 695 00:38:30,206 --> 00:38:33,081 - You've lived here long? - Donkey's years. 696 00:38:33,081 --> 00:38:35,206 I had a small cabaret in Lutetia. 697 00:38:35,206 --> 00:38:39,122 A hotspot, raking it in, but I fell for a fella, 698 00:38:39,122 --> 00:38:41,539 a lowlife who wanted me as his floozy. 699 00:38:41,539 --> 00:38:43,497 And to clean me out! 700 00:38:44,331 --> 00:38:46,872 So who took her dosh and hightailed it here? 701 00:38:46,872 --> 00:38:49,331 Yours truly. Tipsy, that's me! 702 00:38:50,164 --> 00:38:51,956 What brings you blondies here? 703 00:38:51,956 --> 00:38:54,331 Looking for the best ship's captain. 704 00:38:55,372 --> 00:38:56,581 He's your man. Titanix! 705 00:38:58,664 --> 00:38:59,539 He's reliable? 706 00:39:00,039 --> 00:39:02,831 Titanix is top-notch. Unsinkable! 707 00:39:03,956 --> 00:39:05,039 Thanks for your help, Tipsy. 708 00:39:05,039 --> 00:39:06,497 Anything for a Gaul! 709 00:39:07,497 --> 00:39:09,164 Normally, mutts stay outside. 710 00:39:09,164 --> 00:39:10,789 But you're a real cutie. 711 00:39:17,247 --> 00:39:19,622 We're looking for a boat to China. 712 00:39:19,622 --> 00:39:22,456 China by sea? Too much hassle. 713 00:39:23,289 --> 00:39:24,789 Here's what I got for you. 714 00:39:24,789 --> 00:39:26,664 A quick visit of the coves of Klysma, 715 00:39:26,664 --> 00:39:29,831 all-you-can-eat and swimming, plus the sunset. 716 00:39:31,122 --> 00:39:31,956 Tasty. 717 00:39:33,539 --> 00:39:34,997 Another time. 718 00:39:34,997 --> 00:39:37,206 This is worth more than your boat. 719 00:39:38,164 --> 00:39:39,747 Why didn't you say so? 720 00:39:40,331 --> 00:39:41,372 So how's it... 721 00:39:41,372 --> 00:39:44,414 You think I'll stand by and let you extort me? 722 00:39:44,414 --> 00:39:46,872 Get out before I get out my cudgel! 723 00:39:46,872 --> 00:39:49,581 Tipsy's steaming up. Trouble ahoy. 724 00:39:49,581 --> 00:39:50,831 A problem, Tipsy? 725 00:39:50,831 --> 00:39:53,414 These gents want to dip into my pockets. 726 00:39:53,414 --> 00:39:57,372 They'll get a dose of their own medicine. Nobody messes with Tipsy. 727 00:39:58,706 --> 00:40:00,997 Lightweights! Fooling with a Gaul. 728 00:40:00,997 --> 00:40:02,664 What do you want with the lady? 729 00:40:04,289 --> 00:40:05,206 You're the lightweight. 730 00:40:10,622 --> 00:40:11,622 Screwy. 731 00:40:11,622 --> 00:40:12,914 Princess, in Gaul, 732 00:40:12,914 --> 00:40:15,622 when heavyweights run their mouths off, 733 00:40:16,497 --> 00:40:18,997 flyweights don't listen. 734 00:40:46,581 --> 00:40:47,581 He's a lizard! 735 00:40:55,747 --> 00:40:56,581 What is this? 736 00:41:07,872 --> 00:41:10,747 A very, very strong batch. He overdid it. 737 00:41:11,664 --> 00:41:13,622 Give me a drop. No one will know. 738 00:41:13,622 --> 00:41:14,747 No chance. 739 00:41:18,664 --> 00:41:20,331 One's yours. Take your pick. 740 00:41:20,914 --> 00:41:22,289 The big guy, I guess. 741 00:41:25,372 --> 00:41:26,456 Gentlemen... 742 00:41:35,872 --> 00:41:39,372 I'm not allowed it ever since I fell in as a kid. 743 00:41:39,872 --> 00:41:41,164 So it will hurt less. 744 00:42:00,247 --> 00:42:03,456 Imagine a mini-amphora with two wings painted on it, 745 00:42:03,456 --> 00:42:05,581 containing a drop of magic potion. 746 00:42:05,581 --> 00:42:07,497 A kind of pick-me-up. 747 00:42:07,497 --> 00:42:10,289 We market it as an invigorating drink... 748 00:42:10,289 --> 00:42:12,706 I'll come up with a name for it. 749 00:42:13,206 --> 00:42:17,789 In Rome, with all the orgies and kids dancing through the night, 750 00:42:17,789 --> 00:42:19,081 we'll make a killing. 751 00:42:19,081 --> 00:42:21,914 Count me in. I'll handle transport. 752 00:42:22,997 --> 00:42:24,039 What's that? 753 00:42:24,622 --> 00:42:25,831 It's tai chi. 754 00:42:25,831 --> 00:42:28,789 An ancestral technique to boost the body's energy. 755 00:42:29,789 --> 00:42:31,747 It's crazy, us meeting now. 756 00:42:31,747 --> 00:42:35,122 My new lifestyle's so in step with your culture. 757 00:42:35,747 --> 00:42:38,664 Balance, nutrition, energies, everything! 758 00:42:39,622 --> 00:42:41,164 The two of us are so connected. 759 00:42:47,081 --> 00:42:48,831 - Done? - Meditation. 760 00:42:48,831 --> 00:42:50,622 - Great! - No talking! 761 00:42:56,831 --> 00:42:58,122 It's a fine coin. 762 00:43:00,872 --> 00:43:01,872 That's you? 763 00:43:02,539 --> 00:43:05,081 Yes. A gift from my mother. 764 00:43:06,247 --> 00:43:07,289 That's real love. 765 00:43:10,664 --> 00:43:11,956 When I received it, 766 00:43:12,872 --> 00:43:13,789 I didn't smile. 767 00:43:14,914 --> 00:43:16,372 Don't worry, Princess. 768 00:43:16,872 --> 00:43:18,581 I'll rescue your mother. 769 00:43:19,664 --> 00:43:20,539 I'm here for you. 770 00:43:21,747 --> 00:43:23,331 Quick correction, sorry. 771 00:43:23,331 --> 00:43:24,914 We are here for you. 772 00:43:24,914 --> 00:43:28,539 Some of us were here for you from the start of the adventure. 773 00:43:29,539 --> 00:43:30,872 Excuse me. 774 00:43:30,872 --> 00:43:32,247 Princess... 775 00:43:38,039 --> 00:43:39,164 What are you doing? 776 00:43:39,164 --> 00:43:40,956 That was two balls! 777 00:43:40,956 --> 00:43:42,789 Put one back. That was two balls! 778 00:43:42,789 --> 00:43:45,497 Put one back. Don't screw me on the balls. 779 00:43:45,497 --> 00:43:47,122 It's extra jailtime for me. 780 00:43:48,664 --> 00:43:50,747 By the way, did you think over 781 00:43:52,122 --> 00:43:52,997 my offer? 782 00:43:55,956 --> 00:43:57,497 Playing hard to get. 783 00:43:57,997 --> 00:44:00,872 I'm used to tough negotiations, though. 784 00:44:00,872 --> 00:44:02,664 - Ekonomikrisis... - Yes? 785 00:44:02,664 --> 00:44:04,414 If we get out one day, 786 00:44:04,914 --> 00:44:07,289 would you like to keep trading in China? 787 00:44:07,789 --> 00:44:09,789 - Sure. - So shut up. 788 00:44:11,706 --> 00:44:13,914 They put us together to torture me. 789 00:44:14,581 --> 00:44:15,831 Let's not exaggerate. 790 00:44:17,039 --> 00:44:18,372 Perhaps it's... 791 00:44:19,081 --> 00:44:20,664 destiny bringing us together. 792 00:44:21,164 --> 00:44:22,914 Maktub, as they say back home. 793 00:44:24,164 --> 00:44:26,581 You're very beautiful in a temper. 794 00:44:45,456 --> 00:44:46,289 Gents! 795 00:44:46,289 --> 00:44:49,122 Here, on the Red Sea, no more fatal encounters! 796 00:44:49,122 --> 00:44:51,622 Who are the predators here? 797 00:44:51,622 --> 00:44:53,372 - We are! - Bang on! 798 00:44:54,914 --> 00:44:57,164 Ship ahoy! 799 00:44:58,289 --> 00:44:59,372 Thanks, lookout! 800 00:44:59,372 --> 00:45:00,497 Just doing my job! 801 00:45:00,497 --> 00:45:03,456 No lavish ship will escape us. 802 00:45:03,456 --> 00:45:04,789 We sleep tonight in silk! 803 00:45:19,997 --> 00:45:20,831 The Gauls? 804 00:45:20,831 --> 00:45:23,247 It's the Gauls! 805 00:45:25,956 --> 00:45:27,122 Peek-a-boo! 806 00:45:27,622 --> 00:45:28,539 Hi, guys! 807 00:45:33,331 --> 00:45:34,539 Not the Gauls! 808 00:45:34,539 --> 00:45:35,539 Why us? 809 00:45:36,997 --> 00:45:38,289 There are other ships. 810 00:45:39,206 --> 00:45:41,622 Morning, could you pretend not to see us? 811 00:45:41,622 --> 00:45:43,206 But we have seen you. 812 00:45:43,206 --> 00:45:44,581 That's fair. 813 00:45:45,706 --> 00:45:46,747 Prepare our defences! 814 00:45:46,747 --> 00:45:47,831 Let's go! 815 00:45:52,372 --> 00:45:54,289 Freshly painted too! 816 00:45:54,789 --> 00:45:56,164 Watch out now! 817 00:46:00,914 --> 00:46:02,581 Don't think I enjoy it. 818 00:46:03,872 --> 00:46:04,956 No, wait. 819 00:46:05,914 --> 00:46:07,414 Watch some Chinese fighting. 820 00:46:25,789 --> 00:46:27,039 What now, skipper? 821 00:46:28,456 --> 00:46:29,664 I'm not feeling it. 822 00:46:29,664 --> 00:46:31,622 Let's go anyway. Attack! 823 00:46:35,456 --> 00:46:36,664 No, go back! 824 00:46:36,664 --> 00:46:38,247 Michel, go on! 825 00:46:52,622 --> 00:46:54,081 That's gotta hurt. 826 00:47:02,372 --> 00:47:03,664 That's too many feet! 827 00:47:05,039 --> 00:47:06,331 Let me through. 828 00:47:10,081 --> 00:47:11,331 Sorry, skipper. 829 00:47:11,331 --> 00:47:12,664 Where you going? 830 00:47:12,664 --> 00:47:14,331 Going out like a prince. 831 00:47:15,664 --> 00:47:17,164 Behind you! 832 00:47:21,581 --> 00:47:23,372 Cool it, crazywoman! 833 00:48:03,831 --> 00:48:04,706 Comrades, 834 00:48:05,206 --> 00:48:07,372 official reason for us sinking, 835 00:48:07,372 --> 00:48:09,497 we ran into a Chinese tornado. 836 00:48:19,456 --> 00:48:20,456 May I? 837 00:48:21,039 --> 00:48:21,914 Yes. 838 00:48:25,872 --> 00:48:26,831 Beautiful. 839 00:48:28,414 --> 00:48:29,706 I wanted to say, 840 00:48:30,372 --> 00:48:31,872 you fight fabulously. 841 00:48:32,789 --> 00:48:33,789 Thank you. 842 00:48:34,956 --> 00:48:37,331 How come you never use the potion? 843 00:48:37,331 --> 00:48:38,581 I'm not allowed to. 844 00:48:40,539 --> 00:48:43,289 Dangerous, apparently. One shot too many. 845 00:48:45,956 --> 00:48:49,039 I'd love to feel that kick just one more time. 846 00:49:38,747 --> 00:49:39,914 Obelix? 847 00:49:41,872 --> 00:49:42,872 Mummy! 848 00:49:48,331 --> 00:49:49,831 The feeling is extraordinary. 849 00:49:50,331 --> 00:49:52,831 Fizzing through your head and body. A bit like... 850 00:49:52,831 --> 00:49:54,581 falling in love, so I hear. 851 00:50:21,331 --> 00:50:23,747 Having found their way again at last, 852 00:50:24,247 --> 00:50:26,497 Caesar and his powerful army 853 00:50:26,497 --> 00:50:29,831 cross Persia, the mountains of India, 854 00:50:29,831 --> 00:50:31,581 the Mongolian steppes, 855 00:50:31,581 --> 00:50:34,247 and finally reach the gates of China, 856 00:50:34,247 --> 00:50:36,581 where the formidable Deng Tsin Quin 857 00:50:36,581 --> 00:50:38,664 is perfecting his dastardly plan 858 00:50:38,664 --> 00:50:40,831 to conquer all six kingdoms. 859 00:50:47,747 --> 00:50:48,664 Ave! 860 00:50:49,164 --> 00:50:50,122 This is the war? 861 00:50:50,122 --> 00:50:51,414 Prince Deng Tsin Quin, 862 00:50:51,414 --> 00:50:52,997 allow me to introduce... 863 00:50:53,497 --> 00:50:57,122 Julius Caesar himself. Impressive, I know, but deep breaths 864 00:50:57,122 --> 00:50:58,706 and everything will be fine. 865 00:50:59,247 --> 00:51:02,247 So where are these rebels you can't keep in check? 866 00:51:02,247 --> 00:51:05,622 War's a full-time job. Good idea to call in the professionals. 867 00:51:07,539 --> 00:51:09,289 Aren't you overthinking it? 868 00:51:09,289 --> 00:51:11,622 No, simply following Sun Tzu, 869 00:51:12,206 --> 00:51:13,664 the greatest Chinese strategist, 870 00:51:13,664 --> 00:51:15,247 who wrote The Art of War. 871 00:51:15,956 --> 00:51:17,164 The Fart is Raw? 872 00:51:18,789 --> 00:51:22,789 Anyway, shrimps, keep those eyes open. We'll make short work of this. 873 00:51:23,622 --> 00:51:26,122 {\an8}- All right. If you want peace... - Prepare for war. 874 00:51:26,122 --> 00:51:27,164 {\an8}Exactly! 875 00:51:28,497 --> 00:51:29,664 He's hard work. 876 00:51:29,664 --> 00:51:30,872 A maniac. 877 00:51:30,872 --> 00:51:34,039 Mega-pretentious, too. First decan cancer. The pits. 878 00:51:34,747 --> 00:51:37,372 I had no idea. I need sleep. Chariot-lag. 879 00:51:41,664 --> 00:51:43,331 Biopix, new chapter. 880 00:51:43,331 --> 00:51:45,956 After Caesar the Seducer, 881 00:51:46,622 --> 00:51:47,997 Caesar the Strategist. 882 00:51:47,997 --> 00:51:50,622 Hold on, change of scroll and I'm all yours. 883 00:51:50,622 --> 00:51:52,372 - Helmet! - Gallopus! 884 00:52:03,997 --> 00:52:04,997 Sword! 885 00:52:08,581 --> 00:52:09,456 What on Earth? 886 00:52:09,456 --> 00:52:11,831 - Last time you cut yourself... - Enough! 887 00:52:13,247 --> 00:52:15,039 Any news of Antivirus? 888 00:52:15,039 --> 00:52:17,206 He's here and ready, almighty Caesar. 889 00:52:17,206 --> 00:52:18,414 All right, let's go! 890 00:52:23,497 --> 00:52:24,372 All together! 891 00:52:27,997 --> 00:52:29,164 Goose bumps. 892 00:52:29,164 --> 00:52:30,414 Same here. 893 00:53:49,997 --> 00:53:51,289 Antivirus, I love you! 894 00:54:04,414 --> 00:54:07,081 Antivirus, don't go losing your cool. 895 00:54:07,581 --> 00:54:09,414 Cut the pushing. It hurts. 896 00:54:09,414 --> 00:54:11,456 You wanted Antivirus, 897 00:54:11,456 --> 00:54:13,372 I gave you Antivirus. 898 00:54:13,372 --> 00:54:16,456 Now go back to your chariot races. 899 00:54:18,372 --> 00:54:21,164 Why talk when you can fly? 900 00:54:45,747 --> 00:54:47,414 A walk in the park! 901 00:54:49,872 --> 00:54:51,247 In a few days, 902 00:54:51,247 --> 00:54:52,997 I shall be master of China. 903 00:54:54,081 --> 00:54:58,247 I almost envy you, getting a first taste of Rome's power. 904 00:54:58,831 --> 00:55:01,122 Veni, vidi, vici. 905 00:55:02,122 --> 00:55:04,414 Caesar, you spoil me. 906 00:55:04,414 --> 00:55:06,372 I've got it word for word. 907 00:55:06,372 --> 00:55:08,956 - Awkward. This is for dinner? - Yes. 908 00:55:08,956 --> 00:55:10,789 - No sense of hospitality. - No. 909 00:55:11,956 --> 00:55:13,747 And Antivirus? Not here? 910 00:55:13,747 --> 00:55:15,122 He's sleeping. 911 00:55:15,122 --> 00:55:16,122 Sleeping? 912 00:55:16,122 --> 00:55:17,289 I'm here, Caesar. 913 00:55:17,289 --> 00:55:19,664 - Yes, but it's not the same. - Not at all. 914 00:55:21,414 --> 00:55:23,997 You have one last kingdom to conquer. 915 00:55:23,997 --> 00:55:25,039 The trickiest. 916 00:55:26,331 --> 00:55:28,289 Our victories echo around the land. 917 00:55:28,289 --> 00:55:30,122 And the Ku Koos never give up. 918 00:55:30,122 --> 00:55:33,372 Fine. Let's see who's the biggest Ku Koo. 919 00:55:35,081 --> 00:55:38,081 Not laughing. King So Ku Koo passed this winter. 920 00:55:38,831 --> 00:55:41,664 His son and heir, Prince of Ku Koo, is 20 921 00:55:41,664 --> 00:55:44,539 and wears a mask to hide a terrible malformation. 922 00:55:44,539 --> 00:55:46,331 The man in the bamboo mask. 923 00:55:46,831 --> 00:55:47,706 A death 924 00:55:47,706 --> 00:55:51,289 and taking a drubbing from Caesar. Bad year for the Ku Koos. 925 00:55:52,456 --> 00:55:53,497 By the way... 926 00:55:54,956 --> 00:55:56,539 you seem a bit cuckoo. 927 00:55:57,164 --> 00:55:59,539 No, I'm a Quin. No relation. 928 00:55:59,539 --> 00:56:00,581 I mean... 929 00:56:03,581 --> 00:56:05,039 you're totally cuckoo, right? 930 00:56:11,414 --> 00:56:16,164 Why would you want my help in ousting you from your own kingdom? 931 00:56:16,164 --> 00:56:18,247 What do you stand to gain, 932 00:56:18,247 --> 00:56:20,331 Deng Tsin Quin? 933 00:56:21,622 --> 00:56:23,872 You plan to give me a Caesarian 934 00:56:23,872 --> 00:56:25,914 after I conquer all the kingdoms? 935 00:56:25,914 --> 00:56:27,164 No. 936 00:56:27,747 --> 00:56:29,039 I'd never do that. 937 00:56:29,622 --> 00:56:30,622 Really? 938 00:56:31,956 --> 00:56:32,789 I would. 939 00:56:33,581 --> 00:56:35,122 At the drop of a hat! 940 00:56:36,622 --> 00:56:37,581 Good one! 941 00:56:39,706 --> 00:56:41,372 Tell me, O Caesar, 942 00:56:42,039 --> 00:56:44,081 did you know that Queen Cleopatra 943 00:56:44,081 --> 00:56:45,747 is highly respected in China? 944 00:56:46,497 --> 00:56:47,456 That's true. 945 00:56:47,456 --> 00:56:50,831 She's done so much for the conservation of pandas that... 946 00:56:51,414 --> 00:56:53,581 What's she like in real life? Cool? 947 00:57:08,581 --> 00:57:10,122 Home at last. 948 00:57:11,497 --> 00:57:14,414 Can you smell the bamboo, eucalyptus and ginger? 949 00:57:15,872 --> 00:57:17,997 Don't bother. They have no idea. 950 00:57:17,997 --> 00:57:19,997 I smell them, though. 951 00:57:20,831 --> 00:57:21,914 What sweet scent! 952 00:57:22,497 --> 00:57:23,456 Titanix, 953 00:57:23,456 --> 00:57:25,622 you'll head straight back to Egypt? 954 00:57:25,622 --> 00:57:28,414 No, straight on till I'm back where I started, 955 00:57:28,414 --> 00:57:30,081 to prove the earth's round. 956 00:58:00,581 --> 00:58:02,622 Didn't I promise you'd be back? 957 00:58:08,206 --> 00:58:10,914 Ka Ra Tay, how will we find your master here? 958 00:58:10,914 --> 00:58:12,289 He will find us. 959 00:58:30,414 --> 00:58:32,122 - What was the message? - Nothing. 960 00:58:33,872 --> 00:58:35,164 The bald guy's a friend? 961 00:58:36,539 --> 00:58:38,664 Why not tell me if it's nothing? 962 00:58:40,497 --> 00:58:44,289 Master Sill Lee will come to the inn where we're staying. 963 00:58:45,414 --> 00:58:47,747 Why all the mystery? 964 00:58:47,747 --> 00:58:49,164 I've lost my appetite now! 965 00:58:52,081 --> 00:58:53,664 He's never like that. 966 00:58:55,081 --> 00:58:59,122 Could be the fatigue, time difference and culture shock. 967 00:58:59,122 --> 00:59:00,914 Can we talk honestly? 968 00:59:01,747 --> 00:59:05,206 We're hardly bosom buddies. I hate you, and it feels mutual. 969 00:59:06,414 --> 00:59:08,831 But it's really tense between you two. 970 00:59:08,831 --> 00:59:10,664 The tension's getting to us all. 971 00:59:11,331 --> 00:59:12,372 - It is? - Yes. 972 00:59:13,539 --> 00:59:15,247 I have an idea for you both 973 00:59:15,247 --> 00:59:19,039 and honestly it will do you the world of good. 974 00:59:21,706 --> 00:59:23,622 Obelix, we need to talk. 975 00:59:24,164 --> 00:59:25,331 I'm all ears. 976 00:59:25,331 --> 00:59:29,247 You've noticed the Princess and I have a real good thing going? 977 00:59:31,164 --> 00:59:32,164 For sure. 978 00:59:33,789 --> 00:59:36,039 I think it would be simpler... 979 00:59:36,747 --> 00:59:38,956 if she moved to our village. 980 00:59:38,956 --> 00:59:40,081 All right. 981 00:59:40,997 --> 00:59:42,414 You and I are... 982 00:59:42,914 --> 00:59:44,497 We've lived together for ages. 983 00:59:45,289 --> 00:59:47,289 We never said it was for life. 984 00:59:48,497 --> 00:59:49,747 Seeing as, originally, 985 00:59:50,247 --> 00:59:52,081 it was my parents' hut... 986 00:59:56,122 --> 00:59:57,872 You'd like me to move out? 987 00:59:59,039 --> 01:00:00,039 Yes. 988 01:00:04,039 --> 01:00:05,539 What a relief! 989 01:00:05,539 --> 01:00:08,956 I want to move out and had no idea how to tell you. 990 01:00:09,539 --> 01:00:10,372 Really? 991 01:00:12,997 --> 01:00:14,414 I'm in love, too. 992 01:00:15,914 --> 01:00:16,914 You're in love? 993 01:00:17,914 --> 01:00:18,997 Beautiful Ka Ra Tay. 994 01:00:22,747 --> 01:00:23,581 Ka Ra Tay? 995 01:00:24,497 --> 01:00:25,789 Our Ka Ra Tay? 996 01:00:26,289 --> 01:00:27,122 Seriously? 997 01:00:29,872 --> 01:00:30,831 What's so funny? 998 01:00:32,122 --> 01:00:33,331 I'm just surprised. 999 01:00:33,331 --> 01:00:34,664 By me falling in love? 1000 01:00:35,331 --> 01:00:36,539 Come on, Oby... 1001 01:00:36,539 --> 01:00:37,622 Don't Oby me. 1002 01:00:38,122 --> 01:00:39,164 No more Oby! 1003 01:00:40,789 --> 01:00:41,622 What's funny? 1004 01:00:41,622 --> 01:00:43,289 I've no right to love? 1005 01:00:43,789 --> 01:00:45,081 No rights at all! 1006 01:00:45,081 --> 01:00:46,997 Nonsense! It's all about you. 1007 01:00:46,997 --> 01:00:48,956 - It is not! - It is! 1008 01:00:50,081 --> 01:00:52,164 No magic potion for Obelix. 1009 01:00:52,164 --> 01:00:53,456 No love for Obelix! 1010 01:00:53,456 --> 01:00:56,539 Poor Obelix! He can't have any magic potion. 1011 01:00:57,331 --> 01:00:58,289 Poor Obelix! 1012 01:00:58,289 --> 01:00:59,706 Now I'm not allowed 1013 01:00:59,706 --> 01:01:03,081 to roast my wild boar in my own hut! 1014 01:01:03,664 --> 01:01:06,456 Sorry, not my hut. Asterix's parents' hut! 1015 01:01:06,456 --> 01:01:09,456 - Correct! - And he wants me to eat fruit and veg! 1016 01:01:09,456 --> 01:01:11,956 Why should we eat fruit and veg? 1017 01:01:11,956 --> 01:01:12,956 For your sake! 1018 01:01:13,456 --> 01:01:14,414 Your health! 1019 01:01:14,414 --> 01:01:16,581 Don't say the word! Don't say it! 1020 01:01:16,581 --> 01:01:17,997 Because you're fat! 1021 01:01:20,372 --> 01:01:22,622 I am curvaceous! 1022 01:01:23,456 --> 01:01:24,581 But at least I'm... 1023 01:01:25,081 --> 01:01:26,289 strong. 1024 01:01:26,289 --> 01:01:28,372 There we go. Thank you! 1025 01:01:28,372 --> 01:01:31,164 You think it's easy always being weaker? 1026 01:01:31,664 --> 01:01:33,039 Dependent on a flask! 1027 01:01:33,039 --> 01:01:34,289 Serves you right! 1028 01:01:34,789 --> 01:01:36,081 There, I said it! 1029 01:01:37,497 --> 01:01:40,456 Needles work well. Release tensions. 1030 01:01:42,081 --> 01:01:44,164 Speak freely. 1031 01:01:56,456 --> 01:01:58,289 - Romans! - No, Obelix. 1032 01:01:58,289 --> 01:01:59,497 What now? 1033 01:01:59,497 --> 01:02:01,664 We protect the princess's identity. 1034 01:02:03,122 --> 01:02:04,414 What brings Caesar to China? 1035 01:02:04,414 --> 01:02:07,539 The traitor Deng Tsin Quin has sold us out. 1036 01:02:09,914 --> 01:02:11,331 News flash! 1037 01:02:12,331 --> 01:02:13,622 People of China, 1038 01:02:13,622 --> 01:02:16,247 Prince Deng Tsin Quin and Julius Caesar 1039 01:02:16,247 --> 01:02:18,789 are delighted to announce the public execution 1040 01:02:18,789 --> 01:02:20,164 of the ex-Empress. 1041 01:02:21,206 --> 01:02:24,706 Beheading will take place in seven days at sunset. 1042 01:02:25,872 --> 01:02:29,831 Fries will be stirred. Book early to avoid disappointment. 1043 01:02:29,831 --> 01:02:30,872 Nobody told me. 1044 01:02:30,872 --> 01:02:32,747 By papyrus? You're not in the group? 1045 01:02:32,747 --> 01:02:34,706 I never am! 1046 01:02:34,706 --> 01:02:36,706 I am Princess Sa See! 1047 01:02:36,706 --> 01:02:39,039 Nobody harms the daughter of the heavens, 1048 01:02:39,039 --> 01:02:41,581 Her Majesty the Empress, my mother! 1049 01:02:41,581 --> 01:02:43,039 Arrest her! 1050 01:02:49,747 --> 01:02:50,622 Hey, doggie. 1051 01:02:51,497 --> 01:02:52,331 Bring it on. 1052 01:02:52,331 --> 01:02:55,622 Anyone who touches a single hair of my future wife 1053 01:02:55,622 --> 01:02:58,164 must prepare for a world of pain. 1054 01:03:00,039 --> 01:03:01,331 I said that? 1055 01:03:07,664 --> 01:03:09,872 Hold on, timeout. Pause it. 1056 01:03:09,872 --> 01:03:12,664 Just a second, I'll be right back. 1057 01:03:13,872 --> 01:03:15,081 You're kidding me. 1058 01:03:17,622 --> 01:03:18,622 You good? 1059 01:03:22,622 --> 01:03:23,539 We can start? 1060 01:03:24,164 --> 01:03:25,831 - Toilet break. - Sure. 1061 01:03:25,831 --> 01:03:27,122 Not buying it. 1062 01:03:57,372 --> 01:03:58,372 Wring! 1063 01:04:21,539 --> 01:04:22,747 How about that. 1064 01:04:28,414 --> 01:04:31,122 The acupuncturist prescribed me two days' rest. 1065 01:04:31,122 --> 01:04:32,581 For what we get paid... 1066 01:04:34,414 --> 01:04:35,706 Act like we never met? 1067 01:04:35,706 --> 01:04:36,747 We never met. 1068 01:05:31,956 --> 01:05:34,372 Say, he just flew off my fist. 1069 01:05:34,372 --> 01:05:35,581 Yeah, I saw that. 1070 01:05:35,581 --> 01:05:37,581 Let's face it, no one beats you. 1071 01:05:38,456 --> 01:05:39,706 What's this? 1072 01:05:42,872 --> 01:05:43,997 Insane! So tight. 1073 01:05:43,997 --> 01:05:45,872 Come on, Princess, it's not safe. 1074 01:05:45,872 --> 01:05:48,039 "Come on, Princess, it's not safe." 1075 01:05:49,747 --> 01:05:50,872 A problem? 1076 01:05:50,872 --> 01:05:51,956 Maybe. 1077 01:05:52,914 --> 01:05:53,997 Potion's worn off? 1078 01:05:53,997 --> 01:05:55,706 Maybe. Try me, you'll see. 1079 01:05:57,539 --> 01:05:58,414 We'll talk later. 1080 01:05:59,206 --> 01:06:00,372 Ready when you are. 1081 01:06:19,331 --> 01:06:20,456 Halt! 1082 01:06:25,247 --> 01:06:27,081 THE ORIGINAL 2CV 1083 01:06:32,414 --> 01:06:34,081 SOAPS by CLEO 1084 01:06:36,539 --> 01:06:38,331 Who whistled? 1085 01:06:49,289 --> 01:06:50,414 I go off to war. 1086 01:06:51,331 --> 01:06:53,331 I risk my life and nothing from her. 1087 01:06:53,914 --> 01:06:55,664 No messages, no news. 1088 01:06:55,664 --> 01:06:57,331 No papyrus, no pigeons. 1089 01:06:57,331 --> 01:06:59,414 Time to snap out of it! 1090 01:06:59,414 --> 01:07:02,206 We were the intrepid, conquering hero. 1091 01:07:02,206 --> 01:07:04,706 - We've gone a bit flat. - He's right. 1092 01:07:04,706 --> 01:07:06,331 You messaged her? 1093 01:07:06,331 --> 01:07:09,331 No, we said no messages. We play it cool. 1094 01:07:09,331 --> 01:07:12,247 We do nothing. Let her stew like beef. 1095 01:07:12,247 --> 01:07:14,372 Butt out, cupcake! 1096 01:07:14,372 --> 01:07:16,331 Come again, sentry? 1097 01:07:16,331 --> 01:07:19,664 Risklus! An aquarium, with water on the brain! 1098 01:07:19,664 --> 01:07:22,872 Two-bit Antivirus! You're not fit to shine his sandals. 1099 01:07:22,872 --> 01:07:24,622 Shut your trap! 1100 01:07:28,247 --> 01:07:29,872 Who wears the toga at home? 1101 01:07:30,372 --> 01:07:31,289 Who's the boss? 1102 01:07:31,914 --> 01:07:32,831 I am. 1103 01:07:33,372 --> 01:07:34,456 Anyone hear that? 1104 01:07:35,081 --> 01:07:36,622 Who's the boss? 1105 01:07:37,997 --> 01:07:39,456 - I am. - There you are! 1106 01:07:39,456 --> 01:07:41,414 You're back. Julius Caesar! 1107 01:07:41,414 --> 01:07:43,039 Our champion! Number one! 1108 01:07:43,956 --> 01:07:45,664 The only message is, 1109 01:07:45,664 --> 01:07:48,831 "Take your trunks and stuff, and go home to Egypt!" 1110 01:07:48,831 --> 01:07:51,664 "Walking straight or sideways, whatever, just go!" 1111 01:07:55,622 --> 01:07:56,914 You're right. Scribe! 1112 01:08:08,331 --> 01:08:09,706 Better! 1113 01:08:09,706 --> 01:08:13,289 I want my palace in Rome empty of sarcophagi and bandages. 1114 01:08:14,247 --> 01:08:17,331 As of today, you know who wears the toga at home. 1115 01:08:18,414 --> 01:08:19,664 Ave, me! 1116 01:08:19,664 --> 01:08:23,831 There, that's big-time Caesar. Masterful! 1117 01:08:23,831 --> 01:08:25,622 The Queen of Egypt? 1118 01:08:25,622 --> 01:08:27,622 Queen of Nitwits more like! 1119 01:08:28,539 --> 01:08:30,456 They're not singing anymore... 1120 01:08:30,456 --> 01:08:33,456 They're not singing, the Egyptians! 1121 01:08:33,456 --> 01:08:35,206 - Send. - Yes! 1122 01:08:39,247 --> 01:08:40,497 Pigeon! 1123 01:08:43,831 --> 01:08:44,956 A bunny! 1124 01:08:46,039 --> 01:08:46,997 It's a bunny. 1125 01:08:46,997 --> 01:08:48,372 Scary! 1126 01:08:48,956 --> 01:08:50,581 A raccoon! 1127 01:08:54,289 --> 01:08:55,206 A goat! 1128 01:08:56,039 --> 01:08:57,247 A billy goat. 1129 01:09:03,289 --> 01:09:04,997 Come on, sweetie, let's go. 1130 01:09:14,164 --> 01:09:15,289 From Cleopatra. 1131 01:09:15,289 --> 01:09:16,289 Already? 1132 01:09:17,872 --> 01:09:18,706 Read it. 1133 01:09:30,414 --> 01:09:32,956 - Don't understand a word. - I don't understand. 1134 01:09:35,247 --> 01:09:36,872 "I wanted to apologise 1135 01:09:37,831 --> 01:09:39,039 for my behaviour." 1136 01:09:39,039 --> 01:09:40,414 "I went too far." 1137 01:09:40,414 --> 01:09:41,539 For sure. 1138 01:09:42,706 --> 01:09:46,622 "Four months apart and I dream of us being reunited. 1139 01:09:47,206 --> 01:09:49,872 "Waiting for you in Rome. Come back soon." 1140 01:09:50,664 --> 01:09:51,997 "Your loving Cleo." 1141 01:09:53,414 --> 01:09:55,081 Stop the pigeon! 1142 01:09:55,081 --> 01:09:56,622 Cancel the pigeon! 1143 01:09:56,622 --> 01:09:58,456 - Fast! - We can't cancel it. 1144 01:09:58,456 --> 01:10:00,872 Sent is sent. I beat him? 1145 01:10:01,456 --> 01:10:02,581 Everybody out! 1146 01:10:07,664 --> 01:10:08,872 I said everybody. 1147 01:11:26,789 --> 01:11:28,706 Hungry? There's lots of fruit. 1148 01:11:28,706 --> 01:11:29,956 - Hands off. - What? 1149 01:11:29,956 --> 01:11:31,331 They're offerings. 1150 01:11:31,997 --> 01:11:33,664 Sorry. I didn't... 1151 01:11:41,331 --> 01:11:42,331 Hold on. 1152 01:11:42,331 --> 01:11:44,372 Move along. Have a good evening. 1153 01:11:44,956 --> 01:11:45,831 Good luck. 1154 01:11:46,331 --> 01:11:47,789 Just a beggar. 1155 01:11:53,289 --> 01:11:54,414 Master Sill Lee. 1156 01:11:55,289 --> 01:11:56,331 Sorry. 1157 01:11:57,289 --> 01:11:59,997 Profuse apologies, Mr. Sill Lee. I thought... 1158 01:11:59,997 --> 01:12:03,331 Master Sill Lee is a hermit who devotes his life to meditation. 1159 01:12:03,831 --> 01:12:05,581 He took a vow of absolute poverty. 1160 01:12:06,289 --> 01:12:09,372 Bravo for the oath. That blows my mind. 1161 01:12:09,372 --> 01:12:10,706 It's beyond me. 1162 01:12:10,706 --> 01:12:13,872 In that case, allow me to relieve you of the money. 1163 01:12:13,872 --> 01:12:16,831 Try to take back your coin, 1164 01:12:16,831 --> 01:12:18,372 little grasshopper. 1165 01:12:22,747 --> 01:12:24,581 It's too easy. You're blind. 1166 01:12:24,581 --> 01:12:28,039 Never assume a man cannot see because he's... 1167 01:12:29,747 --> 01:12:31,289 You saw that coming? 1168 01:12:33,289 --> 01:12:34,789 There we are! 1169 01:12:35,331 --> 01:12:36,622 It was his game. 1170 01:12:36,622 --> 01:12:37,831 Leave him. 1171 01:12:37,831 --> 01:12:38,997 Little grasshopper! 1172 01:12:39,581 --> 01:12:40,872 Sir, over here. 1173 01:12:41,706 --> 01:12:44,164 You are as swift as a cobra. 1174 01:12:44,164 --> 01:12:45,247 Yup, Sill Lee. 1175 01:12:45,247 --> 01:12:47,831 Can we move on to important matters? 1176 01:12:53,997 --> 01:12:55,539 By Toutatis! 1177 01:12:55,539 --> 01:12:59,456 Deng Tsin Quin spreads terror across the whole country. 1178 01:12:59,456 --> 01:13:01,581 Do not touch. 1179 01:13:02,539 --> 01:13:03,414 Hard to resist. 1180 01:13:03,997 --> 01:13:05,164 I see 1181 01:13:05,164 --> 01:13:07,206 an old abandoned temple. 1182 01:13:07,206 --> 01:13:09,164 The temple in Xuan. 1183 01:13:09,664 --> 01:13:13,289 Her Majesty the Empress is held prisoner. 1184 01:13:14,456 --> 01:13:16,539 After releasing her, 1185 01:13:16,539 --> 01:13:19,581 you must go with all speed 1186 01:13:19,581 --> 01:13:21,372 to the Ku Koos' palace, 1187 01:13:21,372 --> 01:13:25,664 before Caesar seizes the final kingdom. 1188 01:13:26,247 --> 01:13:28,289 You will encounter 1189 01:13:28,914 --> 01:13:30,039 the hideous... 1190 01:13:30,039 --> 01:13:32,039 the unsightly... 1191 01:13:32,039 --> 01:13:36,164 the monstrous crown prince, 1192 01:13:36,164 --> 01:13:37,581 Prince of Ku Koo, 1193 01:13:37,581 --> 01:13:40,872 the man in the bamboo mask. 1194 01:13:42,872 --> 01:13:44,622 Don't worry, it's fake. 1195 01:13:44,622 --> 01:13:46,497 Good luck! 1196 01:13:47,081 --> 01:13:49,539 We must go our separate ways. 1197 01:13:50,247 --> 01:13:51,414 Grand master, 1198 01:13:51,914 --> 01:13:53,622 are you done with the ball? 1199 01:13:55,456 --> 01:13:56,539 Yes. 1200 01:14:00,414 --> 01:14:01,497 Holy cow! 1201 01:14:04,581 --> 01:14:06,539 There you are. You broke it. 1202 01:14:06,539 --> 01:14:08,289 He said do not touch. 1203 01:14:10,289 --> 01:14:11,372 He's right. 1204 01:14:12,289 --> 01:14:14,122 I said do not touch! 1205 01:14:20,122 --> 01:14:21,122 Why'd you touch it? 1206 01:14:27,164 --> 01:14:29,706 Seen Princess Sa See? With two warriors... 1207 01:14:33,872 --> 01:14:35,247 Princess Sa See? 1208 01:14:35,247 --> 01:14:38,622 Seen her? With two superhuman foreign warriors. 1209 01:14:39,206 --> 01:14:40,081 And a dog. 1210 01:14:55,456 --> 01:14:57,956 You're waiting for an ale? Bring them in! 1211 01:14:58,747 --> 01:15:00,414 - Asterix! - What? Run! 1212 01:15:00,914 --> 01:15:02,247 - Asterix! - What? 1213 01:15:02,247 --> 01:15:04,122 Why are we running? 1214 01:15:04,122 --> 01:15:05,956 - So I don't have to fight. - Why? 1215 01:15:05,956 --> 01:15:07,997 No more potion with the Princess. 1216 01:15:07,997 --> 01:15:09,997 I'm sick of looking stupid. 1217 01:15:10,497 --> 01:15:12,622 Hurry! I bagged a rickshaw. 1218 01:15:12,622 --> 01:15:13,789 Come on! 1219 01:15:15,581 --> 01:15:16,581 Fast! 1220 01:15:17,289 --> 01:15:18,372 Faster! 1221 01:15:22,914 --> 01:15:24,331 He does this on purpose. 1222 01:16:17,206 --> 01:16:18,289 All right. 1223 01:16:23,622 --> 01:16:26,747 One more ball and it's curtains for us. 1224 01:16:27,789 --> 01:16:29,039 So, our last night... 1225 01:16:29,914 --> 01:16:31,206 I was thinking... 1226 01:16:31,872 --> 01:16:33,956 maybe as a memento... 1227 01:16:33,956 --> 01:16:34,872 Majesty! 1228 01:16:36,664 --> 01:16:37,747 Gave me a fright! 1229 01:16:37,747 --> 01:16:39,331 We'll get you out. 1230 01:16:39,331 --> 01:16:40,581 Who's that? 1231 01:16:42,664 --> 01:16:43,956 Stand back. 1232 01:16:54,747 --> 01:16:55,747 All good? 1233 01:17:03,997 --> 01:17:04,831 Sorry. 1234 01:17:17,664 --> 01:17:18,539 Rise. 1235 01:17:20,289 --> 01:17:21,122 Let's go. 1236 01:17:21,122 --> 01:17:22,622 Jump. We'll catch you. 1237 01:17:22,622 --> 01:17:24,456 What? Jump? 1238 01:17:24,456 --> 01:17:26,206 I can't leave right now! 1239 01:17:26,206 --> 01:17:28,414 Abandon a negotiation? Not my style! 1240 01:17:28,997 --> 01:17:30,831 In two balls, the guard caves. 1241 01:17:30,831 --> 01:17:33,497 Go ahead without me. I'll catch you up. 1242 01:17:34,122 --> 01:17:34,956 Are you sure? 1243 01:17:35,956 --> 01:17:36,956 Yes. 1244 01:17:37,956 --> 01:17:38,914 As you wish. 1245 01:17:42,414 --> 01:17:43,289 Take care. 1246 01:17:44,247 --> 01:17:45,497 And keep your head. 1247 01:17:47,747 --> 01:17:49,206 You're afraid for me. 1248 01:17:50,456 --> 01:17:54,414 You see, you're even more beautiful smiling than in a temper. 1249 01:18:02,289 --> 01:18:03,956 She's so impressive! 1250 01:18:05,331 --> 01:18:06,331 Thank you. 1251 01:18:07,914 --> 01:18:08,831 Mother! 1252 01:18:09,497 --> 01:18:11,122 What joy to see you again. 1253 01:18:21,581 --> 01:18:23,122 - Alert! - Run! 1254 01:18:23,122 --> 01:18:24,122 They've escaped! 1255 01:18:35,039 --> 01:18:36,539 Which way now? Which way? 1256 01:18:38,081 --> 01:18:39,081 Wait. 1257 01:18:40,081 --> 01:18:42,164 Good. We lost them. 1258 01:18:42,164 --> 01:18:44,497 Friends from Gaul. Thanks for your help. 1259 01:18:44,497 --> 01:18:46,414 Our pleasure, Your Majesty. 1260 01:18:47,247 --> 01:18:49,372 Seeing as no one introduces me... 1261 01:18:51,122 --> 01:18:52,414 Bankruptis. 1262 01:18:52,414 --> 01:18:54,956 We already met at the market. 1263 01:18:55,664 --> 01:18:56,706 That's right. 1264 01:18:57,497 --> 01:18:59,206 Life's full of surprises. 1265 01:19:01,581 --> 01:19:03,331 Attention issues for the Empress. 1266 01:19:04,539 --> 01:19:07,747 Take the Gauls to the Ku Koos. Secure their support. 1267 01:19:07,747 --> 01:19:11,164 Meanwhile I'll rally our army and followers. 1268 01:19:11,997 --> 01:19:13,247 Ka Ra Tay, come with me. 1269 01:19:13,914 --> 01:19:15,664 I shall honour you, Mother. 1270 01:19:15,664 --> 01:19:16,831 You'll be proud of me. 1271 01:19:18,706 --> 01:19:20,039 I'm already proud of you. 1272 01:19:21,956 --> 01:19:23,122 Let's go, Ka Ra Tay. 1273 01:19:40,706 --> 01:19:42,081 This will end badly. 1274 01:20:04,956 --> 01:20:06,997 Ka Ra Tay has fallen for Obelix. 1275 01:20:08,997 --> 01:20:09,831 Obelix, too. 1276 01:20:12,622 --> 01:20:15,664 I don't like all the falling-for in this adventure. 1277 01:20:16,706 --> 01:20:17,789 So let's go. 1278 01:20:19,206 --> 01:20:20,747 Obelix, come on. 1279 01:20:29,164 --> 01:20:31,789 - What's the wine made from? - Rice. 1280 01:20:32,872 --> 01:20:35,039 Refinement is not your strong suit. 1281 01:20:39,372 --> 01:20:41,914 Got a kick but not all bad. 1282 01:20:42,664 --> 01:20:43,789 It's relaxing. 1283 01:20:43,789 --> 01:20:44,914 Rice wine. 1284 01:20:45,539 --> 01:20:48,747 Maybe take a few amphorae for fight nights with Wifey. 1285 01:20:51,247 --> 01:20:52,331 You see... 1286 01:20:52,331 --> 01:20:54,081 At times like this... 1287 01:20:57,456 --> 01:20:58,456 I miss her. 1288 01:20:58,956 --> 01:21:00,747 What's with the music? 1289 01:21:00,747 --> 01:21:01,747 A full band? 1290 01:21:01,747 --> 01:21:03,164 Four and a singer. 1291 01:21:03,664 --> 01:21:05,539 - You take them everywhere? - Yes. 1292 01:21:05,539 --> 01:21:06,747 It's practical. 1293 01:21:07,747 --> 01:21:09,872 I always have my favourite music. 1294 01:21:11,456 --> 01:21:12,289 Know it? 1295 01:21:12,289 --> 01:21:13,664 Sure, obviously. 1296 01:21:14,789 --> 01:21:17,039 Now that's what I call music. 1297 01:21:18,206 --> 01:21:20,414 None of your ching-chong nonsense. 1298 01:21:34,039 --> 01:21:35,247 Amore! 1299 01:21:36,331 --> 01:21:37,331 What are you doing? 1300 01:21:39,206 --> 01:21:41,581 - I saw my wife. - I'm nobody's wife. 1301 01:21:43,414 --> 01:21:44,289 Know what? 1302 01:21:44,289 --> 01:21:46,914 Your libation brought back the urge. 1303 01:21:49,581 --> 01:21:52,581 I shall become the next Emperor of China. 1304 01:21:53,164 --> 01:21:54,039 Wow... 1305 01:21:54,039 --> 01:21:56,831 Mama Cleo will never get over it. 1306 01:21:57,622 --> 01:22:00,372 Tomorrow at dawn, we go full Ku Koo. 1307 01:22:17,789 --> 01:22:20,164 Slow down. Our exit's coming up. 1308 01:22:20,164 --> 01:22:21,539 Yes, next one. 1309 01:22:23,497 --> 01:22:25,664 Once more, thanks to Obelix, 1310 01:22:25,664 --> 01:22:29,664 our friends beat Caesar's army to the palace of Prince Ku Koo, 1311 01:22:29,664 --> 01:22:31,414 the man in the bamboo mask. 1312 01:22:31,914 --> 01:22:32,997 Keep up. 1313 01:22:36,747 --> 01:22:37,914 I am To Fu. 1314 01:22:38,914 --> 01:22:41,956 Advisor to the prince regent, Ku Koo. 1315 01:22:42,539 --> 01:22:43,914 Can you prove 1316 01:22:44,622 --> 01:22:46,747 you really are Princess Sa See? 1317 01:22:47,914 --> 01:22:50,581 I give my word. I am the Empress's daughter. 1318 01:22:50,581 --> 01:22:54,289 Sadly, your word is not enough. 1319 01:22:55,539 --> 01:22:57,206 You could be a spy 1320 01:22:57,831 --> 01:22:58,997 in the pay 1321 01:22:58,997 --> 01:23:00,581 of Deng Tsin Quin! 1322 01:23:03,122 --> 01:23:03,956 The coin! 1323 01:23:09,872 --> 01:23:13,372 Will you now bow before your Empress's daughter? 1324 01:23:15,372 --> 01:23:17,497 I apologise profusely, Princess Sa See. 1325 01:23:17,497 --> 01:23:19,247 We must be careful. 1326 01:23:19,872 --> 01:23:22,289 His Highness, the Prince... 1327 01:23:22,289 --> 01:23:23,414 of Ku Koo! 1328 01:23:35,789 --> 01:23:36,789 What the heck? 1329 01:23:37,414 --> 01:23:39,581 Don't turn your back. It's rude! 1330 01:23:39,581 --> 01:23:40,664 In his house. 1331 01:24:03,289 --> 01:24:04,289 Princess Sa See, 1332 01:24:04,289 --> 01:24:06,956 Prince of Ku Koo, with my men, at your service. 1333 01:24:06,956 --> 01:24:09,581 We support your mother, our Empress. 1334 01:24:11,289 --> 01:24:12,289 Thanks. 1335 01:24:12,956 --> 01:24:14,081 Sorry, I'm lost for... 1336 01:24:14,664 --> 01:24:16,956 All my fault. My cursed mane frightens you. 1337 01:24:17,706 --> 01:24:19,539 On the contrary, it suits you. 1338 01:24:21,164 --> 01:24:22,581 Nobody ever said that. 1339 01:24:22,581 --> 01:24:24,539 I never wanted to say it. 1340 01:24:39,956 --> 01:24:42,122 That's love at first look. 1341 01:24:42,122 --> 01:24:44,581 Whole weeks of work for nothing. 1342 01:24:47,372 --> 01:24:49,331 Back to the friend zone. 1343 01:24:50,664 --> 01:24:51,706 Let's go. 1344 01:24:53,164 --> 01:24:54,664 We have a country to save. 1345 01:25:08,664 --> 01:25:10,831 Gotta be cuckoo to build a palace in a hollow. 1346 01:25:11,331 --> 01:25:12,497 No way out. 1347 01:25:12,997 --> 01:25:14,872 Cornered by Caesar. It will be brief. 1348 01:25:18,914 --> 01:25:20,289 Here we go again. 1349 01:25:20,289 --> 01:25:21,539 Blah-blah time. 1350 01:25:33,456 --> 01:25:35,289 I am Princess Sa See. 1351 01:25:35,289 --> 01:25:37,664 Submit to the sole Empress of China. 1352 01:25:39,414 --> 01:25:40,831 Sa See darling, 1353 01:25:40,831 --> 01:25:42,497 we can marry at last. 1354 01:25:42,497 --> 01:25:45,997 Don't bet on it. You'll regret your acts, Deng Tsin Quin. 1355 01:25:46,872 --> 01:25:49,706 - She's no pushover. - Can't lie, sparks aren't flying. 1356 01:25:49,706 --> 01:25:52,164 I have a question for you. 1357 01:25:53,497 --> 01:25:54,831 How many? 1358 01:25:54,831 --> 01:25:56,206 Ten thousand. 1359 01:25:56,206 --> 01:25:59,831 Because we are 80,000-strong! 1360 01:26:05,997 --> 01:26:09,206 That's experience for you. Not boasting, I've never lost. 1361 01:26:09,206 --> 01:26:10,289 You're wonderful. 1362 01:26:10,289 --> 01:26:11,956 You miscounted, Princess. 1363 01:26:11,956 --> 01:26:13,622 Ten thousand plus two. 1364 01:26:13,622 --> 01:26:14,956 If you still need me. 1365 01:26:14,956 --> 01:26:16,206 Peek-a-boo, Julius! 1366 01:26:16,206 --> 01:26:17,414 It's us! 1367 01:26:17,414 --> 01:26:18,331 The crazies! 1368 01:26:18,331 --> 01:26:19,622 Not plus two. 1369 01:26:19,622 --> 01:26:20,831 Plus three! 1370 01:26:21,414 --> 01:26:23,122 The man in the bamboo mask. 1371 01:26:25,039 --> 01:26:25,956 Gross! 1372 01:26:25,956 --> 01:26:27,831 Poor guy's blond! 1373 01:26:27,831 --> 01:26:28,872 It's not too bad. 1374 01:26:28,872 --> 01:26:30,497 Not plus three. Plus four! 1375 01:26:31,206 --> 01:26:32,331 I'm the man 1376 01:26:33,122 --> 01:26:34,247 with feather feet! 1377 01:26:34,247 --> 01:26:35,539 What is this? 1378 01:26:42,039 --> 01:26:44,372 Why talk when you can run? 1379 01:26:56,831 --> 01:26:59,081 He didn't warm up. The chump! 1380 01:26:59,081 --> 01:27:00,872 - Did I say charge? - No. 1381 01:27:03,789 --> 01:27:04,872 Substitute! 1382 01:27:09,081 --> 01:27:10,456 Antivirus! 1383 01:27:47,331 --> 01:27:49,206 Asterix, I'll have a drop. 1384 01:27:49,789 --> 01:27:50,831 Not enough for four. 1385 01:27:50,831 --> 01:27:52,081 "Not enough for four!" 1386 01:27:55,789 --> 01:27:57,164 The cheats! 1387 01:27:57,164 --> 01:27:58,331 Won't help them. 1388 01:27:59,872 --> 01:28:01,747 Charge! 1389 01:28:18,997 --> 01:28:19,997 Yes? 1390 01:28:20,539 --> 01:28:21,539 Of course. 1391 01:29:11,206 --> 01:29:12,164 Help me. 1392 01:29:12,747 --> 01:29:13,831 Pipe down. 1393 01:29:13,831 --> 01:29:14,914 You've got gall. 1394 01:29:15,456 --> 01:29:16,289 Gall... 1395 01:29:16,289 --> 01:29:17,372 Gaul! 1396 01:29:30,289 --> 01:29:31,622 Can I join in? 1397 01:29:31,622 --> 01:29:32,956 Yeah, sure. 1398 01:29:32,956 --> 01:29:34,039 Archers! 1399 01:29:34,997 --> 01:29:35,914 Prepare! 1400 01:29:36,497 --> 01:29:37,497 Draw! 1401 01:29:37,997 --> 01:29:39,081 Loose! 1402 01:29:40,456 --> 01:29:42,747 Deng Tsin Quin, Emperor of China! 1403 01:29:45,664 --> 01:29:46,664 Arrows! 1404 01:30:01,247 --> 01:30:02,706 You can't be serious. 1405 01:30:02,706 --> 01:30:04,122 Don't judge me. 1406 01:30:06,747 --> 01:30:07,706 I feel it. 1407 01:30:08,956 --> 01:30:10,414 I feel it rising. 1408 01:30:13,581 --> 01:30:14,706 It's insane! 1409 01:30:16,164 --> 01:30:18,247 That's it? 1410 01:30:20,956 --> 01:30:22,331 No way! It's a joke. 1411 01:30:32,247 --> 01:30:33,414 I smell victory. 1412 01:30:35,247 --> 01:30:36,414 A particular scent? 1413 01:30:37,622 --> 01:30:39,747 Do readers care for such details? 1414 01:30:39,747 --> 01:30:41,164 It sets the scene. 1415 01:30:42,956 --> 01:30:44,622 The scent of laurels. 1416 01:30:44,622 --> 01:30:47,414 Excellent! 1417 01:31:09,581 --> 01:31:10,539 Thanks. 1418 01:31:10,539 --> 01:31:11,789 You're welcome. 1419 01:31:15,122 --> 01:31:17,039 We fell out but I can help out. 1420 01:31:17,622 --> 01:31:18,456 Sure. 1421 01:31:18,456 --> 01:31:19,456 I'm on your side. 1422 01:31:21,122 --> 01:31:21,956 Sure. 1423 01:31:23,497 --> 01:31:25,039 You'll always be my chum. 1424 01:31:28,206 --> 01:31:29,039 Sure. 1425 01:31:30,372 --> 01:31:31,706 Sorry, Obelix. 1426 01:31:56,539 --> 01:31:57,497 Stop! 1427 01:32:12,039 --> 01:32:13,456 Before I die... 1428 01:32:14,872 --> 01:32:16,622 I must tell you, Princess... 1429 01:32:42,664 --> 01:32:43,497 Look! 1430 01:32:45,247 --> 01:32:47,039 Just when all seems lost, 1431 01:32:47,622 --> 01:32:49,247 the Empress arrives, 1432 01:32:49,247 --> 01:32:52,289 followed by her army and entire people. 1433 01:32:52,289 --> 01:32:53,747 They are all there, 1434 01:32:53,747 --> 01:32:57,372 marching across the middle kingdom 1435 01:32:57,372 --> 01:32:59,831 to the scene of the final battle. 1436 01:33:16,872 --> 01:33:18,789 - What on Earth is this? - Not sure. 1437 01:33:18,789 --> 01:33:21,331 Suddenly, I can't smell the laurels. 1438 01:33:21,872 --> 01:33:23,247 Pine boxes maybe. 1439 01:33:32,206 --> 01:33:33,747 I am Empress of China. 1440 01:33:33,747 --> 01:33:36,372 I order you to leave my empire forthwith. 1441 01:33:37,414 --> 01:33:38,497 Never! 1442 01:33:38,997 --> 01:33:41,164 She has a temper. Reminds me of someone. 1443 01:33:43,122 --> 01:33:44,247 Your Majesty! 1444 01:33:45,122 --> 01:33:47,456 Rather than ruin everything in anger, 1445 01:33:47,456 --> 01:33:50,164 perhaps we could envisage a sort of alliance. 1446 01:33:50,164 --> 01:33:53,081 When the cloud conceals the sun, 1447 01:33:53,081 --> 01:33:55,497 my army will reduce you to dust. 1448 01:33:56,331 --> 01:33:57,497 What's that? 1449 01:33:58,039 --> 01:33:58,997 A local proverb? 1450 01:33:58,997 --> 01:34:01,747 No, it's literal. It's happening. 1451 01:34:07,456 --> 01:34:08,706 How many of you? 1452 01:34:08,706 --> 01:34:09,997 He's at it again. 1453 01:34:10,622 --> 01:34:11,456 One 1454 01:34:11,997 --> 01:34:12,831 million! 1455 01:34:15,956 --> 01:34:17,039 Game changer. 1456 01:34:18,747 --> 01:34:20,997 I'll be going. I'm not from here. 1457 01:34:20,997 --> 01:34:23,081 I'll be in Rome. Keep me posted. 1458 01:34:24,081 --> 01:34:25,164 Don't desert us. 1459 01:34:25,164 --> 01:34:26,664 There's a million of them. 1460 01:34:27,456 --> 01:34:28,456 It's not my war. 1461 01:34:34,247 --> 01:34:35,539 I can't go like this. 1462 01:34:38,622 --> 01:34:39,664 Rear up! 1463 01:34:51,206 --> 01:34:52,331 Got your message! 1464 01:34:52,331 --> 01:34:55,289 Say goodbye to my little pyramid! Cleopatra 1465 01:34:56,539 --> 01:34:58,247 It's been a tough day. 1466 01:34:59,081 --> 01:34:59,914 A tough day. 1467 01:35:39,206 --> 01:35:40,789 That feels good. 1468 01:35:42,289 --> 01:35:44,289 Here we are, back in Gaul. 1469 01:35:44,789 --> 01:35:47,372 Not only for our friends' customary banquet, 1470 01:35:48,081 --> 01:35:51,956 but also to celebrate Gaul and China. 1471 01:35:55,247 --> 01:35:57,914 And now the Empress will speak. 1472 01:35:59,956 --> 01:36:01,039 Valiant Gauls! 1473 01:36:02,122 --> 01:36:03,914 You have my eternal gratitude. 1474 01:36:04,664 --> 01:36:06,706 It was an honour, Your Majesty. 1475 01:36:06,706 --> 01:36:09,206 I insisted we come to help. 1476 01:36:10,622 --> 01:36:12,456 We made this long journey 1477 01:36:12,456 --> 01:36:14,497 to celebrate a beautiful alliance. 1478 01:36:23,206 --> 01:36:24,747 That's my cousin Remix. 1479 01:36:25,331 --> 01:36:27,122 A specialist in world music. 1480 01:36:27,956 --> 01:36:29,164 He's my cousin. 1481 01:36:29,164 --> 01:36:31,456 Mine. Not yours, mine! 1482 01:37:18,122 --> 01:37:20,622 We have a lot in common, you and I. 1483 01:37:20,622 --> 01:37:21,789 We're chiefs. 1484 01:37:21,789 --> 01:37:24,456 I always think power isolates you from people. 1485 01:37:24,456 --> 01:37:25,789 Don't you agree? 1486 01:37:28,164 --> 01:37:30,039 And I'm not done. 1487 01:37:30,039 --> 01:37:32,372 And behind every great man 1488 01:37:32,372 --> 01:37:33,539 is a great woman. 1489 01:37:33,539 --> 01:37:36,622 Without Impedimenta, I'm nothing. At home, she holds the shield. 1490 01:37:36,622 --> 01:37:39,372 I'm not disturbing you? You're having a good day? 1491 01:37:40,747 --> 01:37:41,706 We'll talk at home. 1492 01:37:43,372 --> 01:37:44,289 Mimenta! 1493 01:37:44,914 --> 01:37:47,497 Excuse me, minor marital contretemps. 1494 01:37:51,122 --> 01:37:52,872 I thought he'd never leave. 1495 01:37:54,581 --> 01:37:57,581 You know, when you left the cell, I kept my head... 1496 01:37:59,122 --> 01:38:00,122 However... 1497 01:38:00,789 --> 01:38:01,997 I lost my heart. 1498 01:38:02,747 --> 01:38:03,831 Now, now. 1499 01:38:04,331 --> 01:38:06,581 Well then, where's my little heart? 1500 01:38:09,581 --> 01:38:10,664 Bankruptis, look. 1501 01:38:11,247 --> 01:38:12,997 Uncle didn't nod off in prison. 1502 01:38:13,914 --> 01:38:14,997 Classy! 1503 01:38:21,956 --> 01:38:22,789 One more plate. 1504 01:38:22,789 --> 01:38:24,914 No, a dish. A big dish! Share? 1505 01:38:25,914 --> 01:38:27,706 - I won't crack. - Silly me. 1506 01:38:29,081 --> 01:38:30,664 Still don't miss it? 1507 01:38:31,164 --> 01:38:32,289 Not at all. 1508 01:38:32,789 --> 01:38:33,789 Honestly... 1509 01:38:34,289 --> 01:38:35,456 the smell is vile. 1510 01:38:36,747 --> 01:38:38,664 There are still triggers, though. 1511 01:38:39,622 --> 01:38:41,872 Drink an ale and it becomes tricky. 1512 01:38:43,331 --> 01:38:44,331 Hi, Obelix. 1513 01:38:45,039 --> 01:38:45,872 Panacea. 1514 01:38:46,914 --> 01:38:47,831 I'm interrupting? 1515 01:38:48,872 --> 01:38:50,122 I can see I am. 1516 01:38:50,789 --> 01:38:51,956 You ignore me now. 1517 01:38:53,372 --> 01:38:54,581 Are the rumours true? 1518 01:38:54,581 --> 01:38:56,039 You and Ka Ra Tay? 1519 01:38:57,039 --> 01:38:57,956 Seriously? 1520 01:38:57,956 --> 01:39:00,164 Long-distance relationships don't work. 1521 01:39:00,164 --> 01:39:02,122 Honestly, her there, you here... 1522 01:39:02,122 --> 01:39:03,039 And I'm here. 1523 01:39:03,622 --> 01:39:06,331 Waiting for you for months, worried sick, 1524 01:39:06,331 --> 01:39:07,872 and you fall in love? 1525 01:39:08,747 --> 01:39:09,914 Don't you love me? 1526 01:39:10,831 --> 01:39:12,206 Is that a yes or a no? 1527 01:39:12,206 --> 01:39:13,539 You wanted me. 1528 01:39:14,039 --> 01:39:15,289 Is it a yes or a no? 1529 01:39:15,289 --> 01:39:17,331 - I forget you? - Say yes! 1530 01:39:17,331 --> 01:39:18,414 Panacea... 1531 01:39:19,706 --> 01:39:20,581 Don't bother. 1532 01:39:20,581 --> 01:39:23,456 You know the village thrives on new adventures. 1533 01:39:25,247 --> 01:39:27,372 It's time for me to do the same. 1534 01:39:27,372 --> 01:39:28,414 Nothing personal. 1535 01:39:29,497 --> 01:39:30,539 Excuse me... 1536 01:39:31,372 --> 01:39:32,331 You're nuts. 1537 01:39:34,122 --> 01:39:35,414 But I'd... 1538 01:41:59,206 --> 01:42:00,164 Good, wasn't it? 1539 01:42:00,664 --> 01:42:02,414 Everyone had a great time. 1540 01:42:04,164 --> 01:42:05,372 Yes, a fine feast. 1541 01:42:08,372 --> 01:42:10,581 So Ka Ra Tay has gone home? 1542 01:42:10,581 --> 01:42:12,497 Sure. It's a long ride. 1543 01:42:14,539 --> 01:42:16,164 She said I'm her true love. 1544 01:42:17,372 --> 01:42:18,372 Did she? 1545 01:42:19,039 --> 01:42:19,872 Wonderful. 1546 01:42:21,039 --> 01:42:22,164 Even so... 1547 01:42:22,747 --> 01:42:23,664 she didn't stay? 1548 01:42:23,664 --> 01:42:25,497 She'd have loved to, but... 1549 01:42:25,997 --> 01:42:29,247 Too much work in China, lots of responsibility at the palace. 1550 01:42:30,122 --> 01:42:31,747 But there's time, we'll meet again. 1551 01:42:32,247 --> 01:42:33,081 As grown-ups. 1552 01:42:34,206 --> 01:42:35,039 As grown-ups? 1553 01:42:35,622 --> 01:42:36,456 Yes. 1554 01:42:38,997 --> 01:42:40,581 Tired. I'm going to bed. 1555 01:42:46,122 --> 01:42:47,456 One for the road? 1556 01:42:47,456 --> 01:42:49,331 I wouldn't say no. 1557 01:42:58,622 --> 01:42:59,747 My chum! 1558 01:43:15,706 --> 01:43:16,789 {\an8}THE END 1559 01:43:16,789 --> 01:43:19,247 {\an8}For René Goscinny & Albert Uderzo 1560 01:44:18,706 --> 01:44:20,247 You don't want me to sing? 1561 01:44:25,206 --> 01:44:26,497 I'm gonna sing anyway 1562 01:44:28,581 --> 01:44:30,372 You don't want me to sing? 1563 01:44:32,122 --> 01:44:34,081 You don't want me to sing 1564 01:44:34,081 --> 01:44:35,331 The surprise! 1565 01:44:35,331 --> 01:44:37,081 - What surprise? - Hold on. 1566 01:44:39,789 --> 01:44:42,664 So what is it? My voice or just me? 1567 01:44:42,664 --> 01:44:45,289 So is it me or my voice? 1568 01:44:46,289 --> 01:44:49,206 So is my voice not right? It's what you don't like? 1569 01:44:49,206 --> 01:44:50,956 Or is it just me? 1570 01:44:51,706 --> 01:44:54,414 Tell me what's wrong Always something wrong 1571 01:44:55,706 --> 01:44:57,456 Don't do this, don't do that 1572 01:44:57,456 --> 01:45:00,289 Is it my lyrics or my voice I don't get it 1573 01:45:00,289 --> 01:45:03,206 Don't call me paranoid You're all against me 1574 01:45:28,372 --> 01:45:29,831 Caesar said, 1575 01:45:29,831 --> 01:45:31,956 "I want it gleaming when I get back." 1576 01:45:32,789 --> 01:45:33,872 So buff! 1577 01:45:34,706 --> 01:45:35,956 Buff, buff, buff! 1578 01:45:38,372 --> 01:45:39,581 That's the spirit! 1579 01:45:42,997 --> 01:45:44,247 You keep Gaul. 1580 01:45:44,247 --> 01:45:46,331 I take China, rest of the world. 1581 01:45:46,331 --> 01:45:47,706 It'll go gangbusters. 1582 01:45:47,706 --> 01:45:49,997 Take it or leave it right now. 1583 01:45:50,581 --> 01:45:52,122 What might go gangbusters? 1584 01:45:52,122 --> 01:45:53,997 - I didn't say that. - Sure you did. 1585 01:45:53,997 --> 01:45:55,789 Top-notch merchants like me, 1586 01:45:55,789 --> 01:45:58,581 we read your lips even five kilometers away. 1587 01:45:58,581 --> 01:46:00,581 - Why'd you say that? - I didn't! 1588 01:46:00,581 --> 01:46:02,872 - You did. - I'll lash out! 1589 01:46:04,956 --> 01:46:07,831 You know, duckie, your Julius is no lost cause. 1590 01:46:07,831 --> 01:46:10,331 So just send him a message. 1591 01:46:10,331 --> 01:46:13,456 "I'd go above and beyond, I'd dye my hair blond..." 1592 01:46:13,456 --> 01:46:16,122 It's in the bag. The rascal will be back. 1593 01:46:17,122 --> 01:46:19,997 You're right. Why did I ever flip my headdress? 1594 01:46:22,956 --> 01:46:25,872 Flat out. You got a pigeon charger? 1595 01:46:26,456 --> 01:46:28,372 Sit tight, I'll find you one. 1596 01:46:29,664 --> 01:46:31,456 With an Egyptian connector! 1597 01:46:32,247 --> 01:46:33,581 Why Egyptian? 1598 01:46:44,706 --> 01:46:47,206 Are you done making a ruckus? 1599 01:46:47,789 --> 01:46:49,456 We're trying to sleep! 1600 01:46:55,081 --> 01:46:55,997 Sorry. 1601 01:46:59,997 --> 01:47:01,831 Goodnight! 1602 01:47:01,831 --> 01:47:04,081 Goodnight, little Gauls! 1603 01:50:32,914 --> 01:50:35,122 Subtitle translation by Simon John 106432