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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,354 --> 00:00:16,689 Hey, you okay? Need a ride? 2 00:00:16,689 --> 00:00:18,107 Oh, okay. 3 00:00:26,032 --> 00:00:27,951 And I don't have work today 4 00:00:27,951 --> 00:00:30,203 since I quit my meaningless job, 5 00:00:30,203 --> 00:00:32,080 so let's go ahead and make those bottomless. 6 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:33,540 - The nachos? - Yeah. 7 00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:34,833 This is so cool. 8 00:00:34,833 --> 00:00:36,334 I've never even been on a double date, 9 00:00:36,334 --> 00:00:37,961 and now I'm on a triple? 10 00:00:37,961 --> 00:00:39,963 Actually, we're not really feeling this, right? 11 00:00:39,963 --> 00:00:42,131 - Yeah. Gave it a shot. - Okay, bye. 12 00:00:42,131 --> 00:00:43,550 Oh, we're watching "Survivor" next week, 13 00:00:43,550 --> 00:00:44,884 if you want to come. 14 00:00:44,884 --> 00:00:46,261 Hey, I gotta run to the bathroom. 15 00:00:46,261 --> 00:00:47,428 Order me pancakes? 16 00:00:47,428 --> 00:00:49,138 Sure. 17 00:00:50,348 --> 00:00:52,058 So isn't he great? 18 00:00:52,058 --> 00:00:54,060 We're sort of a couple now. 19 00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:56,980 And how are you a couple? 20 00:00:56,980 --> 00:00:59,399 Okay, yes, I know it's not ideal 21 00:00:59,399 --> 00:01:01,568 since he's in character as an 18-year-old virgin, 22 00:01:01,568 --> 00:01:03,653 so we haven't been able to have sex yet. 23 00:01:03,653 --> 00:01:06,990 But his show wraps today, so then we will get to have sex 24 00:01:06,990 --> 00:01:08,741 and, technically, meet. 25 00:01:08,741 --> 00:01:10,326 And it's cool dating an actor. 26 00:01:10,326 --> 00:01:12,412 We just, like, get each other, you know? 27 00:01:12,412 --> 00:01:13,705 Totally. And same. 28 00:01:13,705 --> 00:01:15,248 Lance and I are so well-matched 29 00:01:15,248 --> 00:01:17,041 now that we've both left the industry. 30 00:01:17,041 --> 00:01:18,751 We were always well-matched, B. 31 00:01:18,751 --> 00:01:21,296 Yeah, and he pushes me, too, in my career. 32 00:01:21,296 --> 00:01:22,922 Like, this morning I shot a self-tape 33 00:01:22,922 --> 00:01:24,340 for this big period drama. 34 00:01:24,340 --> 00:01:26,342 And then tonight, I have a director's session 35 00:01:26,342 --> 00:01:28,261 - with Wes Anderson on Zoom. - What? 36 00:01:28,261 --> 00:01:30,138 And then another Zoom audition after that. 37 00:01:30,138 --> 00:01:32,932 So we're sort of, like, a Hollywood power couple. 38 00:01:32,932 --> 00:01:33,933 Oh. 39 00:01:33,933 --> 00:01:36,811 Hey, I missed you. 40 00:01:36,811 --> 00:01:38,771 Like, a lot. 41 00:01:38,771 --> 00:01:40,607 Aw. 42 00:01:42,442 --> 00:01:43,610 Ugh. 43 00:01:51,993 --> 00:01:53,912 Wait, so, Curtis, how's "The Gay Minute"? 44 00:01:53,912 --> 00:01:56,581 I still watch every day. You got mad charisma, bro. 45 00:01:56,581 --> 00:01:57,749 You should be on TV. 46 00:01:57,749 --> 00:01:59,083 - Thank you. - Yeah, really. 47 00:01:59,083 --> 00:02:00,668 You're, like, better than I was. 48 00:02:00,668 --> 00:02:02,629 All right, shut up. That's nice. I'm trying. 49 00:02:02,629 --> 00:02:03,963 I just don't have reps right now, 50 00:02:03,963 --> 00:02:05,506 so I have to troll Actor's Access 51 00:02:05,506 --> 00:02:07,342 for auditions, which is humil... 52 00:02:13,264 --> 00:02:14,474 Wait, Mom? 53 00:02:14,474 --> 00:02:17,143 Yes! Hi, honey. Can I eat this? 54 00:02:17,143 --> 00:02:19,187 Wait, where is your security detail? 55 00:02:19,277 --> 00:02:22,071 Oh, I don't need all that for a simple brunch with my kids. 56 00:02:22,071 --> 00:02:23,823 They'd have to get clearances, sweep the place. 57 00:02:23,823 --> 00:02:25,116 I didn't want to bother them. 58 00:02:25,116 --> 00:02:26,784 So they don't know you're here? 59 00:02:26,784 --> 00:02:28,786 No. I escaped in the night, Cary. 60 00:02:28,786 --> 00:02:30,371 That's fully insane. 61 00:02:30,371 --> 00:02:32,081 Yeah, and I didn't realize how long it would take 62 00:02:32,081 --> 00:02:33,374 to walk to Manhattan, 63 00:02:33,374 --> 00:02:35,752 but it's worth it to be with my kids. 64 00:02:35,752 --> 00:02:38,379 Wait. Oh, my God, Pat Dubek? 65 00:02:38,379 --> 00:02:40,256 Oh, my God. No. Sorry. 66 00:02:40,256 --> 00:02:41,424 Sorry, we're just trying to have 67 00:02:41,424 --> 00:02:43,718 a nice, normal family brunch. 68 00:02:43,718 --> 00:02:44,802 My God! 69 00:02:44,802 --> 00:02:46,095 Oh, there she is. 70 00:02:46,095 --> 00:02:48,556 Move away. Step back, please. Ma'am. 71 00:02:48,556 --> 00:02:49,682 Ma'am, you cannot sneak out on us. 72 00:02:49,682 --> 00:02:51,934 What? I didn't! 73 00:02:51,934 --> 00:02:53,478 Ah, dang it. 74 00:02:53,478 --> 00:02:55,521 Oh, my God. 75 00:02:57,231 --> 00:02:59,108 I'm sorry for sneaking out, Frank. 76 00:02:59,108 --> 00:03:01,194 It won't happen again, I promise. 77 00:03:01,194 --> 00:03:03,279 It's all good, ma'am. Thank you. 78 00:03:03,279 --> 00:03:04,989 Anyway, how have you been? 79 00:03:04,989 --> 00:03:06,574 How's your mom's cancer? 80 00:03:06,574 --> 00:03:09,077 Not good. Stage four. 81 00:03:09,077 --> 00:03:10,620 She's in hospice out on Long Island. 82 00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:13,414 Oh, no, I'm so sorry to hear that. 83 00:03:13,414 --> 00:03:16,125 - Is she still on Long Island? - What? 84 00:03:16,125 --> 00:03:17,627 Well, yeah, I just said that she's... 85 00:03:17,627 --> 00:03:19,170 That's nice, though. 86 00:03:19,170 --> 00:03:21,756 And you grew up on Long Island, right, Frank? 87 00:03:21,756 --> 00:03:24,133 What is your favorite, longest story 88 00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:27,345 about growing up on Long Island? 89 00:03:27,345 --> 00:03:29,305 Oh, wow. 90 00:03:29,305 --> 00:03:31,974 That's so funny, Frank. 91 00:03:31,974 --> 00:03:33,876 Pat's on the move. 92 00:03:33,876 --> 00:03:35,103 Frank! 93 00:03:35,103 --> 00:03:37,480 Okay, so I guess we can take DaBaby off the list. 94 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,398 Don't want to deal with that! 95 00:03:39,398 --> 00:03:40,775 No way! 96 00:03:44,695 --> 00:03:47,031 Deal with what? Uh, what did he do? 97 00:03:47,031 --> 00:03:49,742 Oh, just some, uh, industry gossip. 98 00:03:49,742 --> 00:03:51,285 But you're no longer in the industry, 99 00:03:51,285 --> 00:03:53,579 so doesn't feel right telling you. 100 00:03:53,579 --> 00:03:55,289 Oh, that's totally fine. 101 00:03:55,289 --> 00:03:58,000 Um, and actually, it's why I'm here... 102 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,418 to say my goodbyes. 103 00:03:59,418 --> 00:04:02,004 As you may have heard, I have left the industry 104 00:04:02,004 --> 00:04:03,172 to start doing good. 105 00:04:03,172 --> 00:04:04,507 Well, not today. 106 00:04:04,507 --> 00:04:07,885 Today is Friday. But Monday, I do good. 107 00:04:07,885 --> 00:04:11,347 And honestly, I feel sad for all of you still here, 108 00:04:11,347 --> 00:04:16,018 just piddling away at this pointless job. 109 00:04:16,018 --> 00:04:19,313 So I have a challenge: join me. 110 00:04:19,313 --> 00:04:23,651 Leave this behind and choose a life of meaning, of goodness, 111 00:04:23,651 --> 00:04:28,281 a life where we can make a difference together! 112 00:04:28,281 --> 00:04:31,284 So who's with me? 113 00:04:34,412 --> 00:04:37,373 You know what? I am. 114 00:04:37,373 --> 00:04:38,708 Shuli? 115 00:04:38,708 --> 00:04:40,209 I quit. 116 00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:44,088 Okay, is that it? Is it just Trish? 117 00:04:44,088 --> 00:04:45,756 You know what, it's probably not worth it 118 00:04:45,756 --> 00:04:47,049 if it's just us two. 119 00:04:47,049 --> 00:04:49,302 So, Trish, you can... you can stay. 120 00:04:49,302 --> 00:04:50,636 Well, I don't want her now. 121 00:04:50,636 --> 00:04:52,221 She just quit. 122 00:04:52,221 --> 00:04:53,764 Trish, you're fired. 123 00:04:53,764 --> 00:04:55,474 Oh, Trish. 124 00:04:57,268 --> 00:05:01,564 Well, my work here is done, so I am off to help the world. 125 00:05:01,564 --> 00:05:05,067 Minus, uh, Trish, whose life I did just ruin. 126 00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:07,653 So goodbye, all, and not to be rude, 127 00:05:07,653 --> 00:05:09,447 but there is not one single thing 128 00:05:09,447 --> 00:05:11,824 I'm gonna miss about the industry. 129 00:05:11,824 --> 00:05:15,620 Okay, next order of business, tonight's big, huge party! 130 00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:16,913 - Ooh, a party. - A party? 131 00:05:16,913 --> 00:05:18,414 Yay, a party! 132 00:05:18,414 --> 00:05:20,333 - Damn it. - Be not afraid. 133 00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:22,418 As long as there is air in my lungs, 134 00:05:22,418 --> 00:05:24,921 I will tell your story. 135 00:05:24,921 --> 00:05:26,839 You shan't have died in vain. 136 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:28,758 Wow, this is incredible! 137 00:05:28,758 --> 00:05:30,092 Oh, I'm sorry, Cary. 138 00:05:30,092 --> 00:05:31,177 I'm not in the office this week. 139 00:05:31,177 --> 00:05:32,178 Can you hear me okay? 140 00:05:32,178 --> 00:05:33,554 Yep, and that's great. 141 00:05:33,554 --> 00:05:35,389 - I'm so glad you liked it. - Loved it. 142 00:05:35,389 --> 00:05:37,934 I really believed you were a 16th-century knight. 143 00:05:37,934 --> 00:05:41,771 Unfortunately, I can't send this to the producers. 144 00:05:41,771 --> 00:05:44,273 Uh, but that's... that's who I did it for. 145 00:05:44,273 --> 00:05:45,775 It's just, I know for a fact 146 00:05:45,775 --> 00:05:47,485 they picture this role with long hair. 147 00:05:47,485 --> 00:05:50,238 Oh, well, I just... I just assumed I would 148 00:05:50,238 --> 00:05:51,822 grow my hair out if I got the part. 149 00:05:51,822 --> 00:05:54,867 And I'm with you, Cary, but these people are dumb. 150 00:05:54,867 --> 00:05:57,787 If they don't see long hair, they can't picture it. 151 00:05:57,787 --> 00:06:00,456 So if it's between you and someone with long hair, 152 00:06:00,456 --> 00:06:02,875 nine times out of ten, they're going with long hair. 153 00:06:02,875 --> 00:06:04,460 Luckily, with self-tapes, 154 00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,504 it's easy to keep making adjustments. 155 00:06:06,504 --> 00:06:09,966 So I say just go out, buy a wig, style the wig, 156 00:06:09,966 --> 00:06:11,342 apply the wig, redo the tape, 157 00:06:11,342 --> 00:06:13,552 and then I think we should be good. 158 00:06:13,552 --> 00:06:15,721 Okay. Uh, sure. 159 00:06:15,721 --> 00:06:16,973 Yes. 160 00:06:16,973 --> 00:06:18,975 That sounds, uh, very easy. 161 00:06:18,975 --> 00:06:22,395 Okay, so tonight's party is in the Hamptons. 162 00:06:22,395 --> 00:06:25,231 Ellen is throwing herself a big birthday bash 163 00:06:25,231 --> 00:06:28,067 and has agreed not to go so people can enjoy it. 164 00:06:28,067 --> 00:06:30,027 - Aww. - That's nice of her. 165 00:06:30,027 --> 00:06:32,196 Literally everyone is invited, 166 00:06:32,196 --> 00:06:33,990 as long as they're in the industry. 167 00:06:35,324 --> 00:06:37,326 And we can't put this off any longer, 168 00:06:37,326 --> 00:06:39,161 so Chase will be using this party 169 00:06:39,161 --> 00:06:41,205 to debut his shitty little rat look. 170 00:06:41,205 --> 00:06:42,373 What? 171 00:06:42,373 --> 00:06:44,083 I know, but now that he's 18, 172 00:06:44,083 --> 00:06:47,253 he legally has to look like a gross, shitty little rat 173 00:06:47,253 --> 00:06:49,839 for at least one event, and I need someone to go with... 174 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:53,843 You know, I could be back in the industry just for tonight, 175 00:06:53,843 --> 00:06:55,261 if you need someone to take him. 176 00:06:55,261 --> 00:06:57,221 But then tomorrow, I am back out. 177 00:06:57,221 --> 00:06:58,347 Well, that's okay. 178 00:06:58,347 --> 00:07:00,224 I'm having Streeter go. 179 00:07:00,224 --> 00:07:01,517 Wait, what? 180 00:07:01,517 --> 00:07:03,311 I get to go to the parties now? 181 00:07:03,311 --> 00:07:04,979 Whoo-hoo! 182 00:07:04,979 --> 00:07:07,189 In your face, Brooke! 183 00:07:07,189 --> 00:07:08,774 Okay, that's totally fine. 184 00:07:08,774 --> 00:07:10,318 I'll just stay out, then. 185 00:07:10,318 --> 00:07:11,902 Like I wanted. 186 00:07:11,902 --> 00:07:14,196 Just, you know, trying to help. 187 00:07:14,196 --> 00:07:15,656 Oh, those are for employees. 188 00:07:15,656 --> 00:07:16,991 If you want a La Croix, 189 00:07:16,991 --> 00:07:19,243 you'll need to buy one at the store. 190 00:07:19,243 --> 00:07:21,746 - The store? - Be not afraid. 191 00:07:21,746 --> 00:07:23,873 As long as there is air in my lungs, 192 00:07:23,873 --> 00:07:26,000 I will tell your story. 193 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,585 You shan't have died in vain. 194 00:07:27,585 --> 00:07:30,713 Cary, yes! This performance is incredible. 195 00:07:30,713 --> 00:07:32,256 It's even better than your last performance. 196 00:07:32,256 --> 00:07:34,133 Okay, great! So we can send that one off... 197 00:07:34,133 --> 00:07:37,887 But I'm worried the hair is now too long. 198 00:07:37,887 --> 00:07:41,891 Also, I'm just noticing all this green behind you. 199 00:07:41,891 --> 00:07:43,392 The green screen? 200 00:07:43,392 --> 00:07:45,061 Well, I know it's a green screen, Cary. 201 00:07:45,061 --> 00:07:47,271 But these people, they're gonna think 202 00:07:47,271 --> 00:07:49,148 you're on some kind of slime planet. 203 00:07:49,148 --> 00:07:51,609 And I know for a fact they don't want slime pla... 204 00:07:51,609 --> 00:07:53,152 Be not afraid. 205 00:07:53,152 --> 00:07:55,488 As long as there is air in my lungs, 206 00:07:55,488 --> 00:07:57,073 I will tell your story. 207 00:07:57,073 --> 00:07:58,824 You shan't have died in vain. 208 00:07:58,824 --> 00:08:00,701 Oh, there you are! Hi, Cary. 209 00:08:00,701 --> 00:08:02,745 Mom, what are you doing here? 210 00:08:02,745 --> 00:08:04,580 Oh, well, I just thought I'd come hang with you 211 00:08:04,580 --> 00:08:06,123 at your apartment, no biggie. 212 00:08:06,123 --> 00:08:07,958 Did you sneak away from your security detail again? 213 00:08:07,958 --> 00:08:09,210 - Oh, Pat Dubek! - Pat Dubek? 214 00:08:09,210 --> 00:08:10,586 Pat Dubek, over here! 215 00:08:10,586 --> 00:08:12,505 Oh, can you just let me in real quick? 216 00:08:12,505 --> 00:08:14,423 Ma'am, you have to stop running away from us. 217 00:08:14,423 --> 00:08:15,841 - Oh, dang it! - It's okay... 218 00:08:15,841 --> 00:08:17,885 Okay. The hair is now great, Cary. 219 00:08:17,885 --> 00:08:20,262 But obviously, I can't send this one in. 220 00:08:20,262 --> 00:08:21,722 Yeah, sorry, I forgot to edit out 221 00:08:21,722 --> 00:08:23,182 the part where my mom showed up. 222 00:08:23,182 --> 00:08:25,267 No, she's fun. They'll love that. 223 00:08:25,267 --> 00:08:27,520 - The problem is the background. - The what? 224 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,438 You're supposed to be in the 1500s. 225 00:08:29,438 --> 00:08:32,108 These people are gonna see a fridge and lose their minds. 226 00:08:32,108 --> 00:08:33,651 So does your apartment have 227 00:08:33,651 --> 00:08:35,528 any Gothic arches you could feature? 228 00:08:35,528 --> 00:08:38,364 Sorry, does my apartment have Gothic arches? 229 00:08:38,364 --> 00:08:39,907 Also, your shirt, Cary? 230 00:08:39,907 --> 00:08:42,743 Knights tended to wear more armor. 231 00:08:45,287 --> 00:08:47,123 ChaseDreams! 232 00:08:54,422 --> 00:08:56,132 Hey guys, welcome. 233 00:08:56,132 --> 00:08:57,800 Don't worry. She's not here. 234 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,428 Please, please, please! 235 00:09:02,763 --> 00:09:04,223 You got this. 236 00:09:06,417 --> 00:09:07,435 We're together. 237 00:09:07,435 --> 00:09:09,228 And the same age. 238 00:09:13,149 --> 00:09:16,402 Hi, can I get a, um... 239 00:09:16,402 --> 00:09:17,570 okay. 240 00:09:17,570 --> 00:09:18,863 Yes, I can keep holding. 241 00:09:18,863 --> 00:09:21,407 How was my weekend? Fine! 242 00:09:21,407 --> 00:09:23,033 It was fine. I had a fine weekend. 243 00:09:23,033 --> 00:09:24,118 Look at that loser. 244 00:09:24,118 --> 00:09:26,078 Been there, but not today. 245 00:09:26,078 --> 00:09:27,663 Today I get to actually enjoy the party 246 00:09:27,663 --> 00:09:30,708 and not spend the whole time working. 247 00:09:30,708 --> 00:09:32,668 Okay, rude. 248 00:09:32,668 --> 00:09:37,381 But makes sense. All industry people are. 249 00:09:37,381 --> 00:09:40,342 Ooh! 250 00:09:40,342 --> 00:09:41,886 Hello? 251 00:09:41,886 --> 00:09:44,096 God, fucking agents. 252 00:09:44,096 --> 00:09:46,182 It's just, what if Ellen shows up? 253 00:09:46,182 --> 00:09:49,018 Oh. Don't worry, she's in LA. 254 00:09:49,018 --> 00:09:50,769 Don't worry, she's in LA. 255 00:09:50,769 --> 00:09:52,646 Okay, I just said that. 256 00:09:52,646 --> 00:09:55,191 Oh, come on, I know I'm not in the industry anymore, 257 00:09:55,191 --> 00:09:57,860 but it's not like you can't see me. 258 00:10:00,112 --> 00:10:03,032 Or... wait, can... 259 00:10:03,032 --> 00:10:05,910 can people literally not see me? 260 00:10:05,910 --> 00:10:07,495 Just a reminder, 261 00:10:07,495 --> 00:10:10,873 the museum will be closing in one hour. 262 00:10:10,873 --> 00:10:13,375 As you can see, this museum houses 263 00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:16,045 the largest collection of 16th-century armor 264 00:10:16,045 --> 00:10:18,255 anywhere in the city. 265 00:10:18,255 --> 00:10:21,425 Armor was customarily worn by knights. 266 00:10:21,425 --> 00:10:24,553 These proud warriors were given the title of knighthood 267 00:10:24,553 --> 00:10:26,013 at a beautiful altar, 268 00:10:26,013 --> 00:10:28,390 like the one you see before you. 269 00:10:28,390 --> 00:10:30,601 Here, they'd swear the knightly code 270 00:10:30,601 --> 00:10:32,144 to protect the weak 271 00:10:32,144 --> 00:10:35,189 and defend the honor of the entire monarchy. 272 00:10:35,189 --> 00:10:39,193 Take a second to really look at this altar. 273 00:10:39,193 --> 00:10:42,238 Isn't it quite an altar? 274 00:10:42,238 --> 00:10:44,532 Now, as a needless digression... 275 00:10:44,532 --> 00:10:46,575 a folly, really... turn around 276 00:10:46,575 --> 00:10:50,913 and look at the doorway you just walked into. 277 00:10:50,913 --> 00:10:53,207 Walk up to the knight on the right. 278 00:10:53,207 --> 00:10:55,751 Not the one on the left. Look at the one on the ri... 279 00:10:55,751 --> 00:10:59,129 Oh, God. 280 00:10:59,129 --> 00:11:00,714 Are they coming back? No, no, no. 281 00:11:00,714 --> 00:11:02,716 Really get close to the helmet. 282 00:11:02,716 --> 00:11:04,885 If you get close enough, you may see 283 00:11:04,885 --> 00:11:07,012 your breath fog up the steel. 284 00:11:10,307 --> 00:11:12,851 Call from Mackenzie. 285 00:11:12,851 --> 00:11:15,187 Do you want to answer? 286 00:11:15,187 --> 00:11:16,647 Yes. 287 00:11:16,647 --> 00:11:19,400 Cary, this last take was flawless. 288 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,027 Where did you find that suit of armor? 289 00:11:22,027 --> 00:11:23,654 My closet. 290 00:11:23,654 --> 00:11:26,115 Well, this should absolutely get you the part. 291 00:11:26,115 --> 00:11:28,784 Unfortunately, they went with Dylan O'Brien. 292 00:11:28,784 --> 00:11:30,536 What? Fucking O'Brien. 293 00:11:30,536 --> 00:11:32,413 Yeah, they decided they wanted a name. 294 00:11:32,413 --> 00:11:34,123 So annoying when they do that. 295 00:11:34,123 --> 00:11:36,458 But at least you didn't need to leave your apartment. 296 00:11:36,458 --> 00:11:38,377 Self-tapes really are so much easier. 297 00:11:38,377 --> 00:11:39,878 - Mm-hmm. - Anyway, don't forget 298 00:11:39,878 --> 00:11:41,630 you're Zooming with Wes Anderson in 45. 299 00:11:41,630 --> 00:11:43,173 Right! Shit. Shit. 300 00:11:43,173 --> 00:11:45,009 Shit, shit, shit, shit! 301 00:11:48,387 --> 00:11:50,639 I'm truly sorry for sneaking out again. 302 00:11:50,639 --> 00:11:52,099 Here, I made you some tea. 303 00:11:52,099 --> 00:11:53,642 Thank you, ma'am. That's very nice. 304 00:11:53,642 --> 00:11:55,269 And we know you wanted to go to Ellen's tonight, 305 00:11:55,269 --> 00:11:56,770 especially since she's not gonna be there. 306 00:11:56,770 --> 00:11:58,314 But we assessed some high-level threats 307 00:11:58,314 --> 00:11:59,523 and think it's safest not to go. 308 00:11:59,523 --> 00:12:00,983 Oh, I totally understand. 309 00:12:00,983 --> 00:12:02,651 I'm happy to hang here. 310 00:12:02,651 --> 00:12:05,779 Anyway, enjoy your tea, guys. 311 00:12:09,658 --> 00:12:11,827 Three, two, one. 312 00:12:14,371 --> 00:12:17,124 Yes! 313 00:12:17,124 --> 00:12:20,169 Okay, okay, okay. 314 00:12:20,169 --> 00:12:21,670 Pat's on the move! 315 00:12:24,048 --> 00:12:25,758 God, I know. 316 00:12:25,758 --> 00:12:27,551 He is such an asshole. 317 00:12:27,551 --> 00:12:29,553 Who? Who's an asshole? 318 00:12:29,553 --> 00:12:32,473 Macey, good to see you. 319 00:12:32,473 --> 00:12:33,766 Hey, guess what. 320 00:12:33,766 --> 00:12:35,184 A bunch of people are about to take out 321 00:12:35,184 --> 00:12:36,352 one of Ellen's speedboats. 322 00:12:36,352 --> 00:12:37,686 - Anyone want to go? - all: Sure. 323 00:12:37,686 --> 00:12:39,355 - Yes, I do! - Okay. 324 00:12:39,355 --> 00:12:44,443 One, two, three, four, five. 325 00:12:44,443 --> 00:12:46,487 Yes! We should all fit. Come on. 326 00:12:48,364 --> 00:12:49,782 What? 327 00:12:49,782 --> 00:12:52,117 That is the craziest thing I've ever heard. 328 00:12:52,117 --> 00:12:53,827 I can't believe DaBaby did that. 329 00:12:53,827 --> 00:12:55,829 He'd better hope that doesn't come out. 330 00:12:55,829 --> 00:12:57,081 Hope what doesn't come out? 331 00:12:57,081 --> 00:13:00,709 What did DaBaby do? 332 00:13:00,709 --> 00:13:04,880 Hello? Hello! 333 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,216 Wait, I think I hear something. 334 00:13:07,216 --> 00:13:08,842 Nope, never mind. 335 00:13:08,842 --> 00:13:11,053 How spooky. 336 00:13:11,053 --> 00:13:13,263 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck 337 00:13:15,099 --> 00:13:18,227 Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. 338 00:13:18,227 --> 00:13:19,603 - Cary? - Hey, hi. 339 00:13:19,603 --> 00:13:21,647 - Uh, so sorry I'm late. - Oh, hey! 340 00:13:21,647 --> 00:13:24,233 No, that is 100% fine. This is low-key. 341 00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:25,901 Wes just wants to chat with a few people 342 00:13:25,901 --> 00:13:28,112 - he's circling for the role. - Awesome. 343 00:13:28,112 --> 00:13:30,823 I have never been circled for anything, 344 00:13:30,823 --> 00:13:32,366 - so this is really cool. - Great. 345 00:13:32,366 --> 00:13:34,118 Well, why don't you just hang here 346 00:13:34,118 --> 00:13:35,828 in the waiting room until Wes is ready. 347 00:13:35,828 --> 00:13:37,538 Oh, and when Wes comes on, make sure you are 348 00:13:37,538 --> 00:13:39,873 perfectly centered in the frame, okay? 349 00:13:39,873 --> 00:13:41,667 - Okay. - Thanks. 350 00:13:50,592 --> 00:13:52,428 Yo, am I on? Can you hear me? 351 00:13:54,346 --> 00:13:55,973 Yeah... uh, I can hear you. 352 00:13:55,973 --> 00:13:58,350 Uh, Dylan O'Brien? 353 00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:00,394 - Sup? Nice to meet you, man. - You too. 354 00:14:00,394 --> 00:14:02,146 You auditioning for Ambassador to Belgium too? 355 00:14:02,146 --> 00:14:05,441 Yes. It's a small part, so I thought I had a shot. 356 00:14:05,441 --> 00:14:07,276 But I guess I do not. 357 00:14:07,276 --> 00:14:10,070 I can't even fucking believe I still gotta audition. 358 00:14:10,070 --> 00:14:11,822 I'm the fucking Maze Runner, bro. 359 00:14:11,822 --> 00:14:13,907 Yes, I... yeah. Big fan. 360 00:14:13,907 --> 00:14:15,826 Um, but I think I'm actually gonna go. 361 00:14:15,826 --> 00:14:17,286 Hey, you reek. 362 00:14:19,121 --> 00:14:20,789 - Sorry, I reek. - Okay, um... 363 00:14:20,789 --> 00:14:22,207 You know how long this is gonna be? 364 00:14:22,207 --> 00:14:23,792 - I... I... - I think I'm gonna take 365 00:14:23,792 --> 00:14:26,128 a little shower, 'cause I don't smell great. 366 00:14:26,128 --> 00:14:28,589 And Daddy don't do good on a stinky audish. 367 00:14:28,589 --> 00:14:30,132 - You know what I'm saying? - Yes. 368 00:14:30,132 --> 00:14:31,759 Just gonna leave this right here. 369 00:14:31,759 --> 00:14:33,302 You mind letting me know if they come in? 370 00:14:33,302 --> 00:14:34,720 I'm just gonna turn my camera off. 371 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,430 Uh, okay. Sure, yeah. 372 00:14:36,430 --> 00:14:39,558 Okay, camera off. 373 00:14:43,979 --> 00:14:46,148 Uh... 374 00:14:46,148 --> 00:14:47,483 Whoo! 375 00:14:47,483 --> 00:14:48,817 That's crazy. 376 00:14:48,817 --> 00:14:51,320 It's true. Like, it is true. 377 00:14:57,951 --> 00:15:00,579 Wait. Can... can you see me? 378 00:15:00,579 --> 00:15:01,789 Of course. 379 00:15:01,789 --> 00:15:02,998 Hey, I'm Doug. 380 00:15:02,998 --> 00:15:03,999 Oh, hi. 381 00:15:03,999 --> 00:15:06,543 No one can see me either. 382 00:15:06,543 --> 00:15:08,712 My cousin who brought me, he works at WME. 383 00:15:08,712 --> 00:15:11,465 But I'm just an immigration lawyer. 384 00:15:11,465 --> 00:15:14,176 So the only people who can see me are... 385 00:15:14,176 --> 00:15:15,719 Oh, this is Betsy. 386 00:15:15,719 --> 00:15:18,013 Her husband's a producer for Drew Barrymore, 387 00:15:18,013 --> 00:15:19,556 and she's a social worker. 388 00:15:19,556 --> 00:15:21,016 For teens. 389 00:15:21,016 --> 00:15:27,016 Do either of you know what happened with DaBaby? 390 00:15:27,105 --> 00:15:28,732 Who's DaBaby? 391 00:15:28,732 --> 00:15:30,484 Oh Natalie, over here. 392 00:15:30,484 --> 00:15:32,027 Brooke, you got to meet Natalie. 393 00:15:32,027 --> 00:15:34,279 She's a translator who speaks five languages. 394 00:15:34,279 --> 00:15:35,656 Okay, yes! 395 00:15:35,656 --> 00:15:37,282 Someone hot! 396 00:15:37,282 --> 00:15:38,909 I mean, hi. 397 00:15:38,909 --> 00:15:41,495 God, it is so fucked up that people can't see any of us 398 00:15:41,495 --> 00:15:44,039 because we're "not in the industry." 399 00:15:44,039 --> 00:15:45,415 Anyway, I'm Brooke. 400 00:15:45,415 --> 00:15:46,875 Yeah, no, we've met before. 401 00:15:46,875 --> 00:15:48,585 I was at the "Night Nurse" premiere. 402 00:15:48,585 --> 00:15:50,838 We actually sat really close to each other. 403 00:15:50,838 --> 00:15:54,174 Sorry. Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry. 404 00:15:54,174 --> 00:15:55,467 Hi, everyone. 405 00:15:55,467 --> 00:15:57,970 My fiancé is about to sit down. 406 00:15:57,970 --> 00:16:00,389 Oof. So right on you? 407 00:16:00,389 --> 00:16:02,349 That's okay, you were in a different place then. 408 00:16:02,349 --> 00:16:04,059 But now that you've left the industry behind, 409 00:16:04,059 --> 00:16:05,602 - I'm sure you can probably see... - Bathroom this way. 410 00:16:05,602 --> 00:16:08,564 How it makes people a little cra... oh. 411 00:16:10,315 --> 00:16:13,443 Pitty, pitty, pitty, balls. 412 00:16:13,443 --> 00:16:15,487 Truly, thank you for this. 413 00:16:15,487 --> 00:16:17,739 You would think seeing him naked would be a letdown, 414 00:16:17,739 --> 00:16:19,533 but it is better. 415 00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:22,953 And remember, when he gets out, you have to log off fast, okay? 416 00:16:22,953 --> 00:16:24,288 - Promise. - Yes. No, no, no. 417 00:16:24,288 --> 00:16:25,789 He won't even know I was here. 418 00:16:27,749 --> 00:16:29,585 Hey, you have to mute! 419 00:16:29,585 --> 00:16:32,588 If you're gonna screenshot, you have to mute! 420 00:16:33,839 --> 00:16:35,966 He's coming! He's coming! Go! Log off, log off, log off! 421 00:16:35,966 --> 00:16:37,426 Oh, my God, I can't find the button. 422 00:16:37,426 --> 00:16:39,303 - I can't find the button! - Just hit the X! 423 00:16:39,303 --> 00:16:40,929 - Go, go, go, go, go! - I can't find the button! 424 00:16:43,098 --> 00:16:44,600 Camera on. 425 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,476 Yo, what's up? Did I miss anything? 426 00:16:46,476 --> 00:16:49,438 No, no. Just sitting here waiting. 427 00:16:49,438 --> 00:16:51,481 Um, so you could actually pop back in that shower, 428 00:16:51,481 --> 00:16:52,733 - if you wanted... - Hey, guys. 429 00:16:52,733 --> 00:16:54,151 Thank you so much for waiting. 430 00:16:54,151 --> 00:16:55,611 But unfortunately, Wes has decided 431 00:16:55,611 --> 00:16:57,070 to go with George Clooney. 432 00:16:57,070 --> 00:16:58,572 It's nothing against the two of you. 433 00:16:58,572 --> 00:17:00,115 - He just wanted a huge name. - Yeah. 434 00:17:00,115 --> 00:17:02,826 So annoying, right? Okay. Take care. 435 00:17:02,826 --> 00:17:05,287 - Bye. - Wow. Fucking Clooney. 436 00:17:05,287 --> 00:17:07,164 - Stupid. - Every time. 437 00:17:07,164 --> 00:17:08,665 Well, good luck with everything, man. 438 00:17:08,665 --> 00:17:10,000 I'm gonna take a long, hard piss. 439 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,794 - All right. - Camera off. 440 00:17:15,255 --> 00:17:17,215 Nakey pee-pee. 441 00:17:29,645 --> 00:17:32,314 What the... 442 00:17:32,314 --> 00:17:34,483 hello? 443 00:17:34,483 --> 00:17:35,901 Is someone there? 444 00:17:42,157 --> 00:17:43,825 Oh, shit. 445 00:17:43,825 --> 00:17:45,327 Help! 446 00:17:45,327 --> 00:17:46,703 I need help in here! 447 00:17:46,703 --> 00:17:48,538 - He's in here! - Help! 448 00:17:48,538 --> 00:17:50,040 - What's up? What's wrong? - What's going on? 449 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:51,291 - Are you okay? - Why is the shower on? 450 00:17:51,291 --> 00:17:52,459 The mirror. 451 00:17:52,459 --> 00:17:55,963 Someone's writing something on the mirror. 452 00:18:00,842 --> 00:18:02,594 Oh, my God. Okay. 453 00:18:02,594 --> 00:18:04,680 No one freak out, but I think 454 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,182 Brooke Dubek is in this bathroom. 455 00:18:07,182 --> 00:18:09,017 - What? Right now? - How freaky. 456 00:18:09,017 --> 00:18:11,228 Yeah, she recently left the industry 457 00:18:11,228 --> 00:18:13,605 but hasn't fully crossed over yet. 458 00:18:13,605 --> 00:18:15,607 'Cause being out sucks, Shuli! 459 00:18:15,607 --> 00:18:18,151 No cool people can see or hear me? 460 00:18:18,151 --> 00:18:21,029 Brooke, if you're trying to contact us, 461 00:18:21,029 --> 00:18:23,490 we cannot see or hear you! 462 00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:25,701 Okay, you know what? Here. 463 00:18:25,701 --> 00:18:26,827 Anyone have any wine? 464 00:18:26,827 --> 00:18:29,830 It's just, I used to be a 35-year-old in the industry. 465 00:18:29,830 --> 00:18:33,375 But now I'm just a 35-year-old person? 466 00:18:33,375 --> 00:18:34,876 That's fucking nothing! 467 00:18:34,876 --> 00:18:36,211 Where is she? 468 00:18:36,211 --> 00:18:38,296 So you know what? No. Fuck it. 469 00:18:38,296 --> 00:18:39,673 I'm back in the industry. 470 00:18:39,673 --> 00:18:42,217 Ah! Oh, Jesus. 471 00:18:42,217 --> 00:18:44,469 Oh. 472 00:18:48,724 --> 00:18:49,808 Hello, Brooke. 473 00:18:49,808 --> 00:18:51,393 Uh, hi. Cary? 474 00:18:51,393 --> 00:18:53,645 Hey. Hi, sorry I'm late. 475 00:18:53,645 --> 00:18:55,731 Uh, my last Zoom ran hard... long. 476 00:18:55,731 --> 00:18:58,233 - Uh, it ran long. Um... - Uh, no worries. 477 00:18:58,233 --> 00:19:00,193 And quick Q before we start. 478 00:19:00,193 --> 00:19:03,655 You guys, uh... you don't want a name for this one, do you? 479 00:19:03,655 --> 00:19:05,073 No, not at all. 480 00:19:05,073 --> 00:19:07,409 This is a sitcom pilot for Paramount+, 481 00:19:07,409 --> 00:19:08,910 so we're seeing tons of no-names. 482 00:19:08,910 --> 00:19:11,496 Great, great. And uh, one more thing. 483 00:19:11,496 --> 00:19:13,290 All the sides I got 484 00:19:13,290 --> 00:19:16,084 were for a female character named Courtney. 485 00:19:16,084 --> 00:19:18,837 Uh, yes, this role was a woman till yesterday, 486 00:19:18,837 --> 00:19:20,422 but now she's a gay man. 487 00:19:20,422 --> 00:19:21,631 Oh, okay. 488 00:19:21,631 --> 00:19:23,175 Well, I didn't get any new pages. 489 00:19:23,175 --> 00:19:24,426 Oh, there are none. 490 00:19:24,426 --> 00:19:26,428 But uh, it still works. 491 00:19:26,428 --> 00:19:30,057 Oh. Um, okay. 492 00:19:30,057 --> 00:19:31,933 I guess let's... let's do it. 493 00:19:31,933 --> 00:19:33,477 Great. 494 00:19:33,477 --> 00:19:35,562 "Tegan and her BFF Courtney, 495 00:19:35,562 --> 00:19:39,441 29, hot even with no makeup, get manicures." 496 00:19:39,441 --> 00:19:42,152 Okay, girl. Dish. Hot date tonight? 497 00:19:42,152 --> 00:19:43,737 Ha! Girl, I wish. 498 00:19:43,737 --> 00:19:46,239 Ever since my promotion, I haven't even had the energy 499 00:19:46,239 --> 00:19:47,699 to flirt with a guy. 500 00:19:47,699 --> 00:19:50,118 I guess us girls can't have it all. 501 00:19:50,118 --> 00:19:53,497 Courtney, stop PMSing. 502 00:19:53,497 --> 00:19:55,332 - You'll find Mr. Right. - When? 503 00:19:55,332 --> 00:19:57,667 It's not like I'm gonna find anyone at work, 504 00:19:57,667 --> 00:20:01,046 except Rick, who spends all day staring at my ass. 505 00:20:01,046 --> 00:20:03,090 God, men are such pigs. 506 00:20:03,090 --> 00:20:04,174 You need a spa day. 507 00:20:04,174 --> 00:20:06,760 No, girl. I need a spa year! 508 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,846 Uh, yes! Wow, that was perfect. 509 00:20:09,846 --> 00:20:12,015 - That was so funny, Cary. - Thank you, thank you. 510 00:20:12,015 --> 00:20:15,310 We should actually have a decision for you soon, 511 00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:17,145 - maybe the next few hours. - Whoa! 512 00:20:17,145 --> 00:20:18,897 Uh, great. Well, thank you so much. 513 00:20:18,897 --> 00:20:20,482 I just gotta run to a party, but yeah... 514 00:20:20,482 --> 00:20:22,651 No, thank you. We're such fans. 515 00:20:22,651 --> 00:20:24,569 - Oh, thank you! - Bye. 516 00:20:24,569 --> 00:20:25,821 Bye. 517 00:20:35,872 --> 00:20:39,960 Thank you so much. 518 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,962 Good to see you. 519 00:20:46,049 --> 00:20:47,634 So who's an asshole? 520 00:20:47,634 --> 00:20:50,345 Oh, Channing Tatum's old makeup artist. 521 00:20:50,345 --> 00:20:52,097 - Yes! Fuck him or her. - Mm. 522 00:20:52,097 --> 00:20:54,850 God, this is so much better than talking to some girl 523 00:20:54,850 --> 00:20:57,185 who speaks five languages. 524 00:20:57,185 --> 00:21:00,021 Oh, you were talking to Natalie. 525 00:21:00,021 --> 00:21:01,148 She's my little sister. 526 00:21:01,148 --> 00:21:02,941 Oh, of course you know Natalie, 527 00:21:02,941 --> 00:21:05,026 'cause of Lance. 528 00:21:05,026 --> 00:21:08,738 I... sorry, that Natalie girl knows Lance? 529 00:21:08,738 --> 00:21:10,031 Well, yeah, I mean, she translates 530 00:21:10,031 --> 00:21:11,533 for a lot of his patients, 531 00:21:11,533 --> 00:21:13,034 so they always hang at the hospital. 532 00:21:13,034 --> 00:21:14,452 They have this whole banter in Spanish. 533 00:21:14,452 --> 00:21:15,829 It's annoying. 534 00:21:15,829 --> 00:21:17,414 I never know what they're talking about. 535 00:21:17,414 --> 00:21:18,832 But you knew that, right? 536 00:21:18,832 --> 00:21:21,209 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I did. 537 00:21:21,209 --> 00:21:24,171 Sorry, I want to go say hi to her some more. 538 00:21:24,171 --> 00:21:25,380 Good luck. 539 00:21:25,380 --> 00:21:27,340 I never can find her at these things. 540 00:21:27,340 --> 00:21:28,550 Right. 541 00:21:28,550 --> 00:21:31,636 'Cause she is now invisible to me. 542 00:21:31,636 --> 00:21:33,013 Thank you. 543 00:21:36,183 --> 00:21:38,727 Cary? Oh, thank God it's you. 544 00:21:38,727 --> 00:21:40,937 It's not Ellen. We're fine. 545 00:21:40,937 --> 00:21:42,731 - Hey. - Hey! 546 00:21:42,731 --> 00:21:44,608 - I have the craziest news. - What? 547 00:21:44,608 --> 00:21:46,651 I just booked a roll off of Actor's Access. 548 00:21:46,651 --> 00:21:48,778 What? Curtis, that's incredible. 549 00:21:48,778 --> 00:21:50,572 Yeah. It's for this Paramount+ pilot. 550 00:21:50,572 --> 00:21:52,282 I mean, it's kind of fucked up because the role used to be 551 00:21:52,282 --> 00:21:53,867 a woman, and they just changed it to a gay guy, 552 00:21:53,867 --> 00:21:55,368 but whatever. 553 00:21:55,368 --> 00:21:57,495 The script's funny, they love me, and I got it. 554 00:21:58,914 --> 00:22:01,750 Wow, that's... that's incredible. 555 00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:04,419 I... really, that's so amazing. 556 00:22:04,419 --> 00:22:05,837 Um, I'm just gonna... 557 00:22:05,837 --> 00:22:08,882 I'm gonna run to the bathroom real quick. 558 00:22:11,384 --> 00:22:14,054 Fuck, fucking fuck, fuck. 559 00:22:18,183 --> 00:22:19,726 Hey, babe. 560 00:22:19,726 --> 00:22:21,394 - Oh, hey. - How are you? 561 00:22:21,394 --> 00:22:24,522 Um, you're, uh... you're not in character anymore. 562 00:22:24,522 --> 00:22:26,650 Hooray. Hi. 563 00:22:26,650 --> 00:22:28,652 Sorry, I am, uh... 564 00:22:28,652 --> 00:22:31,154 - I'm just having the worst day. - Oh, babe. 565 00:22:31,154 --> 00:22:33,031 First I got passed over for all these roles 566 00:22:33,031 --> 00:22:35,533 'cause they're looking for names, which sucks. 567 00:22:35,533 --> 00:22:37,327 But, like, I get it. They're above me. 568 00:22:37,327 --> 00:22:42,290 But now I just got passed over for someone who is, uh... 569 00:22:42,290 --> 00:22:44,709 for Curtis, which is... which is great, 570 00:22:44,709 --> 00:22:47,420 but he's been hosting. 571 00:22:47,420 --> 00:22:50,298 I'm the one who's been, like, acting. 572 00:22:50,298 --> 00:22:51,883 Oh, I'm sorry, babe. 573 00:22:51,883 --> 00:22:53,969 That's exactly how I felt when my grandma and I lost 574 00:22:53,969 --> 00:22:56,638 our town's annual Christmas decorating showdown last year. 575 00:22:56,638 --> 00:22:58,098 And I'm sure he was good, 576 00:22:58,098 --> 00:23:00,183 but I thought I killed that audition. 577 00:23:00,183 --> 00:23:02,018 That's hard, which is why this year, 578 00:23:02,018 --> 00:23:05,522 my grandma and I are gonna use twice as many Christmas lights. 579 00:23:05,522 --> 00:23:08,233 Wait, why do you keep talking about Christmas? 580 00:23:08,233 --> 00:23:12,487 Oh, no, did you get cast in something else? 581 00:23:14,030 --> 00:23:15,490 Shit! 582 00:23:15,490 --> 00:23:17,450 You booked a gay Christmas movie already? 583 00:23:17,450 --> 00:23:19,619 And do we really need to be in character full-time for that... 584 00:23:19,619 --> 00:23:23,164 Shh. Babe, you're stressed out. 585 00:23:23,164 --> 00:23:24,499 Let me go get you some eggnog. 586 00:23:29,379 --> 00:23:31,006 Oh, wow. 587 00:23:37,512 --> 00:23:38,972 Hello. 588 00:23:38,972 --> 00:23:41,016 Totally, totally, totally. That's really cool. 589 00:23:41,016 --> 00:23:43,560 - See you later. - So pretty. 590 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,812 - Gosh, this party's so nice. - Yeah. 591 00:23:45,812 --> 00:23:47,939 You know, my security team was worried about me 592 00:23:47,939 --> 00:23:49,899 coming to this, but why would I need 593 00:23:49,899 --> 00:23:51,526 security at an industry party? 594 00:23:51,526 --> 00:23:53,903 There's no fans, no paparazzi. 595 00:23:53,903 --> 00:23:55,196 Yeah, that is weird. 596 00:23:55,196 --> 00:23:57,115 Anyways, hi. I'm Zack Smith from CAA. 597 00:23:57,115 --> 00:23:58,700 - I represent Priyanka Chopra. - Oh. 598 00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:00,952 I'd love to set you two up for a general, 599 00:24:00,952 --> 00:24:02,871 maybe find a show for her on P! 600 00:24:02,871 --> 00:24:05,623 Pat! Tim Downey. I work with Laverne Cox. 601 00:24:05,623 --> 00:24:07,417 I think she'd be a fantastic fit for P! 602 00:24:07,417 --> 00:24:08,752 Let me tell you why. 603 00:24:08,752 --> 00:24:09,961 Pat, you know who you gotta meet? 604 00:24:09,961 --> 00:24:11,671 He's hilarious. Frankie Grande. 605 00:24:11,671 --> 00:24:13,548 Pat, you know who you would love? 606 00:24:13,548 --> 00:24:15,091 Teresa Giudice's daughter. 607 00:24:15,091 --> 00:24:17,010 I really would love to get you down for a lunch. 608 00:24:17,010 --> 00:24:18,595 - Coffee sometime? - Pushing 40, but... 609 00:24:18,595 --> 00:24:20,221 - Teresa Giudice's daughter. - Frank? 610 00:24:20,221 --> 00:24:21,723 - Priyanka Chopra... - Pat, you have to meet... 611 00:24:21,723 --> 00:24:23,391 Nathan? 612 00:24:23,391 --> 00:24:25,894 Frank? Nathan? 613 00:24:25,894 --> 00:24:26,936 Frank? 614 00:24:26,936 --> 00:24:28,396 Nathan? 615 00:24:28,396 --> 00:24:30,273 Oh, my God! 616 00:24:30,273 --> 00:24:31,816 She's a Jonas now! 617 00:24:31,816 --> 00:24:35,028 Natalie? 618 00:24:35,028 --> 00:24:36,274 Hot Natalie? 619 00:24:39,074 --> 00:24:41,368 Oh! There you are, Natalie. 620 00:24:41,368 --> 00:24:42,994 Brooke, hey. 621 00:24:42,994 --> 00:24:44,788 We were just talking about the lack of proper education... 622 00:24:44,788 --> 00:24:46,539 Okay, I'm gonna assume that you are talking, 623 00:24:46,539 --> 00:24:47,999 but I cannot see you, 624 00:24:47,999 --> 00:24:50,752 because whatever you're saying is too boring. 625 00:24:50,752 --> 00:24:53,088 So I need you to say something really cool 626 00:24:53,088 --> 00:24:55,882 so it pushes its way through to my realm. 627 00:24:55,882 --> 00:24:59,761 Are you related to anyone famous? 628 00:24:59,761 --> 00:25:02,430 No. 629 00:25:02,430 --> 00:25:03,848 Okay, I still can't see you, 630 00:25:03,848 --> 00:25:05,934 so I'm gonna assume that's a no. 631 00:25:05,934 --> 00:25:08,728 Have you ever worked in the industry? 632 00:25:08,728 --> 00:25:12,273 Uh, I was once an extra on "Smallville." 633 00:25:12,273 --> 00:25:14,692 Yes! Yes, I see a hand. What else, Natalie? 634 00:25:14,692 --> 00:25:16,694 What else could make me see you as a person? 635 00:25:16,694 --> 00:25:18,780 I dated Topher Grace for three weeks. 636 00:25:21,533 --> 00:25:22,867 Okay, what the hell? 637 00:25:22,867 --> 00:25:24,994 I didn't get that when I became visible. 638 00:25:24,994 --> 00:25:27,455 Anyway, I just wanted to say sorry again 639 00:25:27,455 --> 00:25:29,666 for not seeing you at "Night Nurse." 640 00:25:29,666 --> 00:25:33,294 And also for forgetting that you're... Lance's friend? 641 00:25:33,294 --> 00:25:34,838 That's okay. 642 00:25:34,838 --> 00:25:36,714 I'm just glad that you two are talking again. 643 00:25:36,714 --> 00:25:38,591 He was so upset. 644 00:25:38,591 --> 00:25:40,802 He talks to you about me? 645 00:25:40,802 --> 00:25:42,720 Yeah. I mean, we're pretty close. 646 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,973 And we're both in the business of helping people, 647 00:25:44,973 --> 00:25:47,976 so we just kind of get each other, you know? 648 00:25:47,976 --> 00:25:49,310 Uh-huh. 649 00:25:49,310 --> 00:25:50,562 Sorry, I'm being rude. 650 00:25:50,562 --> 00:25:53,022 This is my friend Julia. 651 00:25:53,022 --> 00:25:55,275 Uh, Julia, tell Brooke what you learned 652 00:25:55,275 --> 00:25:56,985 senior year, spring break of college. 653 00:25:56,985 --> 00:25:58,570 That Emile Hirsch's dick is wonk? 654 00:26:00,155 --> 00:26:02,615 Okay, wow. You are even hotter. 655 00:26:02,615 --> 00:26:04,409 Julia also knows Lance from the hospital. 656 00:26:04,409 --> 00:26:06,244 Oh, Lance is such a great guy. 657 00:26:06,244 --> 00:26:07,328 He's so good. 658 00:26:07,328 --> 00:26:09,456 Okay, no. No. 659 00:26:09,456 --> 00:26:11,833 No, I can't do any more of this. 660 00:26:19,924 --> 00:26:22,010 - Hey. - Hey. 661 00:26:25,597 --> 00:26:27,182 You went out for Courtney, didn't you? 662 00:26:27,182 --> 00:26:28,266 Oh. 663 00:26:28,266 --> 00:26:29,893 Uh, yeah. Yeah. 664 00:26:29,893 --> 00:26:32,312 - Okay. Oh, my God. - But it's really... it's fine. 665 00:26:32,312 --> 00:26:33,938 I'm... I'm happy for you. 666 00:26:33,938 --> 00:26:35,940 - Okay. - I swear. 667 00:26:35,940 --> 00:26:38,526 All right, well, if it makes you feel any better, 668 00:26:38,526 --> 00:26:42,322 I probably only got the role 'cause of my femme privilege. 669 00:26:42,322 --> 00:26:43,823 I'm sorry, what? 670 00:26:43,823 --> 00:26:46,367 Cary, the role used to be a woman. 671 00:26:46,367 --> 00:26:48,119 They changed not a single line. 672 00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,663 Who do you think's getting that part, you or me? 673 00:26:50,663 --> 00:26:52,499 I mean, is it homophobic to say you? 674 00:26:52,499 --> 00:26:54,083 No. And yes. 675 00:26:54,083 --> 00:26:55,210 But the answer is me. 676 00:26:55,210 --> 00:26:56,711 Well, you're being very nice, 677 00:26:56,711 --> 00:26:58,880 but I'm sure you were just better. 678 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,216 Yeah, that too. That too. 679 00:27:01,216 --> 00:27:04,636 But they were clearly looking for an actor that screamed gay, 680 00:27:04,636 --> 00:27:06,971 which is deeply problematic for the world 681 00:27:06,971 --> 00:27:10,892 but great for me because now I'm Courtney No Last Name. 682 00:27:10,892 --> 00:27:12,810 Well, to Courtney No Last Name. 683 00:27:12,810 --> 00:27:14,354 All right, let's get some drinks. 684 00:27:14,354 --> 00:27:15,897 Let's have fun. We're at Ellen's house. 685 00:27:17,232 --> 00:27:18,816 So his name is Courtney, 686 00:27:18,816 --> 00:27:20,443 and it's a pilot for Paramount+. 687 00:27:20,443 --> 00:27:22,737 - Wow. That's so cool, Curtis. - Thank you, ChaseDreams. 688 00:27:22,737 --> 00:27:24,948 Yeah, I'll have to, like, check it out when it comes out. 689 00:27:24,948 --> 00:27:26,449 - I mean, wow. - I know. 690 00:27:26,449 --> 00:27:28,159 We had a bunch of clients go in for that. 691 00:27:28,159 --> 00:27:30,078 - Congrats, man. - Thank you. 692 00:27:30,078 --> 00:27:31,746 - Oh, my God, you've heard. - Oh! 693 00:27:31,746 --> 00:27:32,914 - Cheers. - Cheers, man. 694 00:27:32,914 --> 00:27:34,082 - Cheers. - Cheers. 695 00:27:34,082 --> 00:27:36,125 Bottoms up, my dudes! Whoo! 696 00:27:36,125 --> 00:27:39,629 So it's Ashley Tisdale and it's on Paramount+, 697 00:27:39,629 --> 00:27:41,214 and that's all I know. 698 00:27:41,214 --> 00:27:43,967 - And that's all I need to know. - That's amazing. 699 00:27:43,967 --> 00:27:47,303 It's fucking hard to get cast in anything these days. 700 00:27:47,303 --> 00:27:49,389 You should be so, so proud. 701 00:27:49,389 --> 00:27:51,140 - Yeah, you should be. - Oh, thanks, Car. 702 00:27:51,140 --> 00:27:53,518 Thank God for that femme privilege. 703 00:27:53,518 --> 00:27:55,019 Yeah, we were both up 704 00:27:55,019 --> 00:27:57,480 for the role, but, uh, Curtis got it. 705 00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,023 Definitely 'cause he was way better. 706 00:27:59,023 --> 00:28:00,942 But then Curtis was also saying 707 00:28:00,942 --> 00:28:02,569 that, like, maybe he got it 708 00:28:02,569 --> 00:28:04,112 because he was more obviously gay, 709 00:28:04,112 --> 00:28:08,491 and networks kind of want that now, so... 710 00:28:08,491 --> 00:28:10,535 Yeah, lucky me. 711 00:28:10,535 --> 00:28:12,620 - I'm more femme. - Ugh. 712 00:28:12,620 --> 00:28:14,872 - If you can tell. - My agent calling. 713 00:28:14,872 --> 00:28:18,001 Probably to tell me I did not get Courtney. 714 00:28:18,001 --> 00:28:20,420 Fun! That's gonna be fun. 715 00:28:22,589 --> 00:28:24,674 Where is she? 716 00:28:24,674 --> 00:28:26,551 Oh! Shuli? 717 00:28:26,551 --> 00:28:28,595 Um, Shuli? Shuli, hi. 718 00:28:28,595 --> 00:28:30,930 I've been thinking, and I... 719 00:28:30,930 --> 00:28:33,391 wait, what is going on here? 720 00:28:33,391 --> 00:28:36,144 Your mother snuck away from her detail, again. 721 00:28:36,144 --> 00:28:38,813 Go ahead, Pat. Tell her what you did to us. 722 00:28:38,813 --> 00:28:41,441 I drugged them with tea. 723 00:28:41,441 --> 00:28:43,901 And because of that, now what happened? 724 00:28:43,901 --> 00:28:46,321 I have a general with JoJo Siwa. 725 00:28:46,321 --> 00:28:47,989 Okay. 726 00:28:47,989 --> 00:28:51,159 Well, I guess it's good that you're all here, 727 00:28:51,159 --> 00:28:55,330 because I love you and Chase very much, 728 00:28:55,330 --> 00:28:59,000 but I have decided to leave the industry. 729 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,293 What? 730 00:29:00,293 --> 00:29:01,878 Streeter will still represent you, 731 00:29:01,878 --> 00:29:04,964 but I want to leave. 732 00:29:04,964 --> 00:29:06,674 I mean, I don't want to... 733 00:29:06,674 --> 00:29:09,719 I actually want to stay, but I just... 734 00:29:09,719 --> 00:29:11,804 I... I can't. 735 00:29:11,804 --> 00:29:12,847 I have to go. 736 00:29:12,847 --> 00:29:14,849 I mean, I... 737 00:29:14,849 --> 00:29:16,225 I need to go. 738 00:29:16,225 --> 00:29:17,435 Oh, honey. 739 00:29:17,435 --> 00:29:19,020 I didn't know you felt this way. 740 00:29:19,020 --> 00:29:21,272 Yeah, yeah, but whatever makes you happy. 741 00:29:21,272 --> 00:29:23,149 - Thanks, bud. - Okay, ma'am. 742 00:29:23,149 --> 00:29:24,817 - Your car is ready. - Ugh. 743 00:29:24,817 --> 00:29:26,527 All right, we're bringing her out right now. 744 00:29:26,527 --> 00:29:30,365 I really don't want to have lunch with JoJo Siwa. 745 00:29:30,365 --> 00:29:32,325 I know. I'm sorry, Mom. 746 00:29:32,325 --> 00:29:33,868 Oh, wait. Sorry, Shuli. 747 00:29:33,868 --> 00:29:35,703 Before I quit, do you think you can tell me 748 00:29:35,703 --> 00:29:37,288 what's going on with DaBaby? 749 00:29:37,288 --> 00:29:39,749 Just fucking go, Brooke. 750 00:29:39,749 --> 00:29:41,042 Uh, what? 751 00:29:41,042 --> 00:29:42,502 This may be a joke to you, 752 00:29:42,502 --> 00:29:45,129 but this is my job, and I care about it. 753 00:29:45,129 --> 00:29:49,008 And frankly, I've spent a lot of time helping you. 754 00:29:49,008 --> 00:29:52,929 So this quitting, not quitting shit isn't funny. 755 00:29:52,929 --> 00:29:56,265 If you're out, be out. 756 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:04,107 Oh, my God! 757 00:30:04,107 --> 00:30:05,608 Hi, Doug. 758 00:30:05,608 --> 00:30:07,735 Yes, it is the most wonderful time of the year. 759 00:30:07,735 --> 00:30:09,112 - Curtis, Curtis! - Yeah? 760 00:30:09,112 --> 00:30:11,531 Guess what. I just got a role too. 761 00:30:11,531 --> 00:30:13,199 Wha... whoa, whoa. 762 00:30:13,199 --> 00:30:14,826 - Congratulations. - Yeah. Yeah. 763 00:30:14,826 --> 00:30:16,661 It's a three-episode arc on that show, 764 00:30:16,661 --> 00:30:18,496 uh, "Emily Overruled." 765 00:30:18,496 --> 00:30:20,289 Okay. CBS. 766 00:30:20,289 --> 00:30:22,333 - That's prime time, baby. - I know. 767 00:30:22,333 --> 00:30:24,127 And I didn't even have to audition, 768 00:30:24,127 --> 00:30:27,046 'cause I guess I'm, like, somewhat of a name now? 769 00:30:27,046 --> 00:30:28,589 But isn't that great? 770 00:30:28,589 --> 00:30:31,426 - We both booked roles! - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 771 00:30:31,426 --> 00:30:34,095 And, um, Lucas just sang the entirety of "Jingle Bells" 772 00:30:34,095 --> 00:30:36,597 at me, so I'm assuming he booked one too. 773 00:30:36,597 --> 00:30:37,890 Yes. Ugh. 774 00:30:37,890 --> 00:30:39,392 But he is not playing a virgin anymore, 775 00:30:39,392 --> 00:30:41,644 so now I can take him home and celebrate, 776 00:30:41,644 --> 00:30:43,604 if you know what I mean, but gotta run. 777 00:30:43,604 --> 00:30:45,440 - Such a fun night. - Okay. 778 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:46,607 - Okay, bye, Cary. - Bye. 779 00:30:46,607 --> 00:30:47,942 - Cary? - Bye, bye, bye. 780 00:30:47,942 --> 00:30:49,152 Oh, hey. There you are. 781 00:30:49,152 --> 00:30:51,362 I was just gonna... oof! 782 00:30:57,368 --> 00:30:58,995 Oh, God. 783 00:30:58,995 --> 00:31:02,165 I'm so glad you're playing not a virgin now. 784 00:31:02,165 --> 00:31:03,916 You know what? 785 00:31:03,916 --> 00:31:05,918 Let's not kiss. 786 00:31:05,918 --> 00:31:08,337 Okay. What do you want to do? 787 00:31:08,337 --> 00:31:10,173 I was thinking something, uh... 788 00:31:10,173 --> 00:31:12,300 something like this. 789 00:31:12,300 --> 00:31:14,302 Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no! 790 00:31:14,302 --> 00:31:16,262 You know we're in my hometown for Christmas. 791 00:31:16,262 --> 00:31:17,597 What? 792 00:31:17,597 --> 00:31:19,557 My parents are asleep in the next room! 793 00:31:19,557 --> 00:31:20,892 Oh, my God. 794 00:31:20,892 --> 00:31:26,522 Um, well, we'll just have to keep it down for them, then. 795 00:31:26,522 --> 00:31:28,274 No, it's not safe. 796 00:31:28,274 --> 00:31:30,902 I still haven't even told them I'm gay! 797 00:31:30,902 --> 00:31:32,820 What's this now? 798 00:31:32,820 --> 00:31:34,822 I promise I'm gonna tell them soon, babe. 799 00:31:34,822 --> 00:31:37,658 Just... not on Christmas. 800 00:31:37,658 --> 00:31:41,287 Sorry, so we for real can't have sex again? 801 00:31:41,287 --> 00:31:43,498 'Cause my... my hole is out. 802 00:31:43,498 --> 00:31:45,583 I should probably sleep on the couch. 803 00:31:45,583 --> 00:31:47,251 Night, babe. 804 00:31:47,251 --> 00:31:49,295 And babe? 805 00:31:49,295 --> 00:31:50,713 Merry Christmas. 806 00:31:52,507 --> 00:31:54,884 This is fine. 807 00:31:54,884 --> 00:31:56,844 It's his process. 808 00:32:06,015 --> 00:32:11,015 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 56993

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