Original subtitles

[GASPS]

Pops, are you okay?

Yes. Just a peculiar dream

is all.

Oh, yeah. I've been having

weird dreams, too, Pops.

Like this one

where Eileen shows up,

and she's wearing...

It's not important.

Everybody has weird dreams.

I suppose.

Well, we've got something

that'll cheer you up.

Come have a look.

[GASPS]

It's you, old friend.

All these years watching you

through my telescope,

and I had no idea

you were my home.

No wonder

it's your favourite planet.

So beautiful up close.

Isn't she marvellous?

Under normal circumstances,

I'd agree.

Yeah, don't forget

what we're here for.

We have to battle Anti-Pops,

whose whole thing is, like,

erasing the universe

as we know it. No big deal.

All the more reason to be ready.

Let's get down there.

This is where Pops came from?

I can't believe it.

I thought it'd be

a little cleaner.

[GROANS]

[GROANING]

[ALL WHIMPERING]

Jolly good.

By Jove.

My dad Sizzle.

Yeah, this is definitely

Pops' planet.

Oh, my.

They're all so welcoming.

You're here.

You're finally here.

We've been waiting eons

for this moment.

Allow us

to introduce ourselves.

I'm Frivola-Kranus.

I'm Quadravi-Kranus.

And I'm Weird Mushroom Guy.

Well, it's a pleasure

to meet all of you.

Hate to interrupt the moment,

but don't we have a battle

to prepare for or something?

ALL: Oh, very true.

Come along.

Uh, no offense, bros,

but why's your planet

all busted?

This is evidence

of many battles past.

No fight of such a grand scale

is free of collateral damage.

But the Guardian

can tell you all about that.

Uh...

My eyes are up here.

I am the Guardian of Lolliland.

I exist

to witness the titans battle

every 14 billion years.

Excuse me. Ma'am.

Might you know

how I can defeat Anti-Pops?

I do not. I have never seen

the battle end in victory.

Only mutually assured

destruction

followed by a reset

of the universe.

Only this planet survives

in order to record the outcome

of each encounter.

Chosen One,

if you wish to know more,

study the ancient tapestries.

Do we even have time for that?

Isn't Anti-Pops

supposed to be here soon?

There is no sign yet

of the one you call Anti-Pops,

which is odd.

He's usually on time.

[BEEPING]

He's already at Lolliland?

You. Why aren't we moving?

Uh, well, you erased

half the engine, so...

we're sort of stalled out, sir.

Then I'll take

one of the smaller ships.

FEMALE VOICE: Coordinates set.

Destination--Lolliland.

Warp speed at ten.

Huh?

[SCREAMS]

This is why I want to end

the stupid universe!

Over a space deer?

I hit

a space deer once.

They're way stronger

than you'd think.

Quiet.

Oh, my chips.

I need to find another way.

Welcome to

the Hall of Tapestries.

Anything you want to know

about the previous battles

exists in these creations.

They "weave"

a very detailed history.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

He says that one

every time.

Still funny.

It is funny.

Here, you can see

how you came into existence.

Different versions of us

were born

over billions of years,

never quite right.

Until you, Mega-Kranus.

That's my name?

BOTH: Heh heh. Mega-Kranus.

Yes. You are

the ultimate creation.

However,

when you were created,

the universe

had to balance itself.

Hence, Malum-Kranus was born.

Oh, Malum-Kranus.

"Malum" means "bad," right?

Here, you'll see tapestries

that depict every clash

over the millennia.

Kind of looks like

they're fighting

with pool noodles in this one.

Oh, yes.

That was a fun one.

Wait, guys. Look.

Does that

kind of look like us?

Yes. Everything

that's happening now

has happened before.

Everything?

Everything.

Each battle ends in a draw,

with two fists colliding,

resetting the universe,

and ending in rebirth.

Uh, hate to be a downer,

but this sounds kind of...

Futile?

I mean, this has

been happening

for billions

and billions of years.

How are we gonna

buck the odds?

SKIPS: This doesn't look good.

[GASPS]

Dude, you got an idea?

Yes.

Okay, every battle

starts in this coliseum

with Pops on this side

and Anti-Pops on that side.

We know where he's gonna be.

We can catch him off-guard

with some traps.

If we want to win,

the only choice we have

is to change things up.

That's not

a terrible idea.

This is like pranking

the most evil guy ever.

Consider

the master prankster in.

Oh, a sneak attack?

That doesn't seem very sporting.

It's true, this plan

doesn't seem fair,

but I think

it's our best bet.

You too, Eileen?

I know how it sounds,

but everyone and everything

we know and love

is on the line here.

It's up to you, Pops.

If you want to keep doing this

how it's always been done,

that's your choice.

You're the Chosen One.

Okay. Let's do it.

Traps, traps,

traps, traps.

He already

said we'd do it.

[HORN HONKS]

[♪♪♪]

S'up? You Malum-Kranus?

Took you long enough.

What is this?

There's not enough room.

Always room in the front.

Come sit up here with me, bro.

I'm not doing that.

Gruff, you sit up front.

Aw, man. I don't want to.

Aah.

Yes, sir.

Floor it.

I hate to tell you.

Traffic's backed all up

and down the 405 galaxy.

Oh, hey, do you want

waters or snacks?

They're in the side door

back there.

I don't want to hear it.

Just go.

Hey, how's the music?

The, uh, volume okay?

Silence.

Yeah, I don't really like

this music, either.

[MUSIC STOPS]

Yeah, I've been doing this

about six years,

but this isn't, like,

my main gig.

Deejaying's

what gets me out of bed.

Hey, if you ever need someone

to spin at a party...

[ANTI-POPS SCREAMS]

Anti-Pops draws near.

ANTI-POPS:

And in this corner of the ring,

the ferocious fighter,

the erratic eraser.

You love him,

you love to hate him--

Malum-Kranus.

Pops, I'm surprised

you're still standing

after our last showdown.

But don't worry.

I'll make sure

that doesn't happen this time.

It's doesn't have to end

this way.

Please, can't we settle this

peacefully?

Peacefully?

Ha ha ha ha.

Peace doesn't interest me.

I won't be satisfied

until the universe

has come to an end by my hand.

Now let's get on with it.

It is time. The titans

have gathered in the coliseum.

And now, as is tradition,

the ancient Lolliland anthem

will be performed.

This year, sung by local boy--

Eggum-Kranus.

[FEEDBACK]

Ahem.

♪ Oh, Lolliland,

Oh, Lolliland ♪

♪ Our ball of beautiful dust ♪

♪ Her people strong,

Tall, nine miles long ♪

♪ With hearts

That you can trust ♪

♪ Despite the titan battles ♪

♪ She stands through

Thick and thin ♪

♪ Oh, Lolliland,

Oh, Lolliland ♪

♪ May good or evil win ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Oh, Lolliland ♪

♪ Mama, take me to

The promised land ♪

[MUSIC STOPS]

Enough.

This battle starts now.

Oh, no.

Now.

[BEEPS]

[GRUNTS]

I think... we did it.

Wait.

Universe is still here.

[ALL CHEERING]

Put that in a tapestry, son.

Right away, sir.

ALL: Whoo.

[SINISTER LAUGHTER]

That tickled.

ALL: Aah.

[♪♪♪]

[BOTH CHUCKLE]