Original subtitles

(Birds chirping)

(Horse nickers)

(Speaking Italian)

- Brothers and sisters!

- Here among us is tonino pettola, the great!

(People applauding)

(Woman singing in Italian over speakers)

(Fly buzzing)

(People chattering in Italian)

- The stigmata! The stigmata!

You.

It's you...

It's really you!

(Bleating)

You all see a sheep, but it's not a sheep!

This is the Madonna!

(People gasp)

I see Mary!

Wicked! Sick! Sinners! Pray!

Pray to the virgin Mary!

Mother, mother!

The wicked long to be freed of their wickedness!

The sick of their sickness!

The sinners of their sinfulness!

I'm speaking to you. I'm speaking to you, mother.

(Bleats)

Hear the prayers of your faithful ones and get to work.

I'm asking you...

I, the Messiah!

The poor tonino!

(People speaking Italian)

Give us strength!

- Enough!

(Instrumental rock version of all along the watchtower)

(Xylophone tinkling)

(Man praying indistinctly)

(Sniffles)

(Sister suree crying softly)

Why were you crying?

My sister is dying.

Where is your sister?

At home, in Sri Lanka.

- What's wrong with her? - She's dying.

- Have you gone to see her? - I don't have the courage.

- Why'd you become a nun? - I met the lord.

- Where? - In a bar. I was poor.

A drunk German came up to me and said, "god helps the poor."

- Are you strong? - I do my best.

But I'm little.

You must be strong, for your sister.

- I shall be. - And pray.

- Pray till you can't pray any more. - I always do.

And if your sister were to die, would you return to Sri Lanka for the funeral?

- No. - Why not?

Because when I go home, I'm overcome with such terrible memories,

that I end up doubting whether god exists.

And I don't want to doubt whether god exists.

You're not the only one who doubts.

(Frequency scrambling)

- Excuse me? - I said I understand.

All right, that's enough.

(Voiello speaking Italian)

- Why does sin bring more sin?

When will you halt my treacherous and vindictive hand, lord Jesus?

Or is it you...

Who is gently moving my hand for the sake of the church?

I beg you,

don't let me die with this anguish, lord.

- Eminence...

She's here.

Voiello: Would young Esther like an Espresso?

Are you sure?

I even arranged to buy some cane sugar.

I know that you young people go crazy over cane sugar.

Let's come to the point, estherina.

First of all, you should stay calm, and rest assured

that we only want what's best for you.

We are your friends.

Now, I've come upon this report,

of which only the people in this room are aware,

I am pleased to tell you,

that you had an extramarital relationship

with valente, the pope's assistant.

- (Exhales deeply) - You understand without being told,

that this is an awkward matter.

Because of the rank of the people involved. Because of the fear of gossip.

Because of how badly this might disappoint the pope.

Because of the terrible repercussions that might ensue

if news of this matter were to get out.

Shouting, dramatic scenes, transfers, firings.

And, of course, it's especially embarrassing in moral terms.

Catholics united in holy matrimony

swear to be faithful to their spouses.

You have sinned, Esther.

We know and we understand that this was a moment of weakness.

- (Sobbing) - It happens.

As a boy, whenever napoli,

my favorite soccer team, was in serious trouble,

don't you think I found myself being a little sympathetic toward Avellino?

(Chuckles)

Voiello: Yes, I did.

In your sin, we don't detect the marks of unbridled lust,

but the fact remains that the act you committed

was gravely wrong.

Very gravely wrong.

(Object clatters)

Fine, now, I am ready to guarantee

that not a word of that disagreeable episode

- will ever leave this room. - (Continues sobbing)

And what do you guarantee me in return?

Don't worry. It's me.

Voiello.

Esther: Why does sin bring sorrow?

Why does sin bring starvation?

(Sobbing)

Why does sin bring arrogance?

Why does sin bring coercion?

(Birds chirping)

Lenny: You remind me of my first and only girlfriend, Esther.

Only you are much prettier.

One should never be ashamed nor proud of one's beauty,

because god asks us to rejoice in it.

(Church bells tolling faintly)

Do you rejoice in your beauty?

I bet you don't let your husband rejoice in your beauty, either.

(Esther chuckles)

Lenny: I think that's a mistake.

The punishment of god is never over beauty, never.

Now, tell me what your problem is.

Then I'll do it for you.

Esther is a fervent Roman catholic woman

who is happily married to Peter, and childless.

She enjoys spending her mornings

roller-skating with the children of the other Swiss guards.

But it isn't roller-skating Esther loves.

She loves what she can't have.

You ask me what my problem is,

but you already know because you are so profound.

I'm not profound. I'm presumptuous.

What matters is that you talk about your problem.

Yes, holy father.

I'm sterile.

And Peter is sterile, too.

I'd like to listen to a child's voice.

Lenny: Pray to Mary, our mother of miracles, who intercedes for us.

She knows what to do.

Amatucci: "Pray to Mary,

"our mother of miracles,

"who intercedes for us.

"She knows what to do."

(Speaking Italian)

- You're a phenomenal lip-reader, amatucci. - Just phenomenal.

My sister is dead, holy father.

Let us pray for her.

I'd like to go to Sri Lanka for her funeral.

Don't go chasing the dead, suree,

or else, the dead will chase after you.

(Baby crying)

(Exhales deeply)

Elena.

(Baby continues crying)

She takes after you.

(Speaking Latin)

Gutierrez: Allegra.

She takes after you.

(Speaking Latin)

(Baby crying)

Gutierrez: Aida.

(Crying)

She takes after you.

(Crying continues)

Yeah, it's perfectly clear she's been adopted, but it doesn't change a thing.

She still takes after you.

Gutierrez: Carolus.

Sofia: Holy father, I beg your pardon.

I really had no idea I was in the men's bathroom.

Actually, this is neither the men's bathroom, nor the women's.

(Softly) This is the pope's bathroom.

I'm so sorry. Do you mind if I finish applying my lipstick?

Even if I did mind,

a woman like yourself would find a way to go on applying it, anyway.

- So, please, go right ahead. - You know women, holy father.

Hmm.

That's a reckless statement, signora.

(Giggles)

Come take a look.

(Speaking Italian)

- He's Lorenzo insigne.

- Insigne?

Lenny: (In English) Who's that man that's caught the interest of half the curia?

Sofia: Personal assistant to the prime minister of Greenland.

- Is he gay? - Openly so.

And the woman is the prime minister?

- Hamsik, with the mohawk.

Sofia: (In English) That's right.

Hamsik is Slovakian.

And she has an audience with you, holy father.

Hmm.

Doesn't that strike you as odd?

Sofia: What, your holiness?

After all, wouldn't etiquette require that we entertain the prime minister,

not her assistant?

Sofia: The cardinal secretary of state is entertaining her.

Lenny: And what about the fact that such a sizable group of men

have eyes only for a handsome man,

and pay no attention to such stunning feminine beauty?

(Softly) Holy father, I know exactly how to answer that question.

- How? - With silence.

Because you should never stick your nose into other people's business.

Especially not in the Vatican.

The prime minister of Greenland is waiting for you.

(Blows raspberry)

(Deep breath)

I know. I'm incredibly handsome,

but please, let's try to forget about that.

What have you brought for me?

The best our country has to offer, holy father.

This is the largest Halibut caught in all of Greenland last week.

This is very good, poached in a light broth,

just like pezzogna.

- Pezzogna? - Sea bass.

And this is a beautiful song by an Italian singer

who's pretty popular in our country.

She's called nada, and the song is entitled senza UN perché.

Thank you.

This is from me for you.

Thank you, holy father. It's wonderful.

Holy father,

first of all, I bring you the greetings

of the catholic community of nuuk, in Greenland.

Yes, I know all about nuuk.

It's a small catholic community that you have in Greenland.

- Am I right? - Yes, you are.

The predominant faith in Greenland is Evangelical lutheran.

And you have a female bishop, if I'm not wrong.

Exactly.

Sofia petersen, an estimable woman.

All bishops are estimable.

Did you know that pope pasquale ii appointed the first bishop to Greenland,

a place that, as you know very well, is technically part of North America,

four full centuries before Christopher Columbus?

I do know that, holy father.

The catholic church was the first to arrive in Greenland.

But it's not always the case that the first to arrive remains first.

I agree, holy father.

In Greenland, we catholics are like the native Americans.

We got there first, and then we were confined to reservations.

I agree, holy father.

You're a woman who tends to agree.

Oh, don't worry, madam prime minister.

I'm not asking you for anything for our small community in Greenland.

I just wanted to remind you that we catholics were there first.

Everyone else is a guest.

I don't want you to forget that.

- I won't, holy father. - Very good.

Now, I ask you, please satisfy my morbid curiosity.

Since your country never thaws, I have to wonder,

what's under all that ice?

The experts believe that Greenland is not an island,

but an archipelago of islands.

But that's strictly a matter of supposition.

As you say, the country never thaws and no one can see what's under there.

I think the experts are wrong.

- Really, holy father? - Yes.

Under all that ice,

could be god.

(Cart squeaking and clattering)

(Cart squeaking and clattering)

(Mellow music playing on record)

(Woman singing in Italian on record)

(Ropes creaking)

(Music continues playing)

(Praying in Latin)

(Continues praying)

(Esther and Lenny praying simultaneously)

Amen.

(Drill whirring)

(Sister suree crying)

(Sniffles)

(Continues crying)

(Birds warbling)

Holy father?

Would you teach me to pray?

Lenny: Start praying aloud.

Let me see how you do it.

Blessed virgin Mary, give me the grace of becoming pregnant.

Mmm. Prayer shouldn't be a list of requests, Esther.

It should be an occasion for understanding.

While we pray, we reflect

in the most elevated way we can,

so that someone can whisper thoughts into our ears.

We call that someone "god."

Or, in the present case, the Madonna of lourdes.

All right. Then let me try again.

Blessed virgin Mary,

god does not punish beauty,

as a person who is very dear to you once told me.

That phrase opened my eyes,

and it made me understand that perhaps,

by making a gift of beauty, I might perhaps receive some in return.

And what if making a gift of my beauty meant receiving the beauty that I so desire?

The beauty of new life, of a little child?

(Softly) Yes, now, you're praying.

What if it was an intolerable burden to me

to donate my beauty to the person I promised to love in sickness and in health?

What if I wanted to donate my beauty somewhere else?

If you give your beauty elsewhere, you will not receive the beauty of a new life,

but only sorrow

and the unbearable burden of guilt.

You know, Esther,

spinoza set us the most daunting challenge of them all.

He said, "he that loves god

"does not demand that god should love us in return."

- I don't understand. - I know.

But in time, you will.

Holy father,

the truth is, I know to whom I'd like to donate my beauty.

- I'd like... - No, Esther,

continue to pray in your head.

There are certain secrets you must share only with god.

(|naudible)

(Sister suree crying)

- Lenny: Stop crying, suree. That's enough. - (Continues crying)

Believers don't cry!

That's not right!

It is time we stop crying at funerals.

(Continues crying)

You don't believe.

Suree, you don't believe.

Holy father,

I brought you a gift to improve our relationship a little.

Thanks.

These are supposed to be worse for you than real cigarettes.

I was told that they are good for you.

Doesn't matter. It's a substitute for the real thing.

What I want, always, is the whole truth.

Then you've come to the wrong place.

Holy father, don't call me repetitive,

but when is your speech to the cardinals going to take place?

- In due time. - Yes, but when?

- You really don't understand, do you? - What am I supposed to understand?

- That I'm creating. - What are you creating?

Anticipation.

Holy father, shall we look into the kurtwell case a little?

Your eminence, the answer is yes.

I want to look into the kurtwell case,

but from a broader point of view.

The individual case is always an indicator of a larger issue.

I agree.

Let's pursue all the cases of pedophilia that are infesting our church.

Let's widen the circle.

Let's prosecute all the cases of homosexuality

that are infesting our church.

Let's root out all the homosexuals and expel them,

and prevent any new gay priests from entering our church.

Let's do it for real, without exceptions and without hypocrisy.

Holy father, pedophilia and homosexuality are two very different things.

Two very different things that are both equally unacceptable to the catholic church.

It would be a war that would leave the ground littered with corpses, holy father.

Do you want to know how many corpses would litter the ground?

Two-thirds of the clergy.

Voiello: Then what becomes

of mother church's capacity for forgiveness?

With our abuse of forgiveness,

we've become a laughingstock, your eminence.

As unreliable as some miserable little third world country.

With your methods, on the other hand,

we are likely to become as reliable as, say, North Korea.

No. You want to know what the difference is?

We don't imprison ours, we set them free. We pardon every one of them.

One second later, we kick them out the door.

All right, holy father, as you command.

I have a question for you.

Holy father, I have a great many shortcomings,

but there can be no doubt about my heterosexuality.

Even if I can't bring you any direct testimony on the matter.

- Lenny: Uh, that wasn't the question. - Oh, sorry. What was the question?

Lenny: Would you tell me about your calling?

Holy father, I'll tell you the truth.

If you expect me to tell you a tale

of blinding illuminations or dazzling conversions,

you are going to be disappointed.

Quite simply, I had a predisposition.

A predisposition to become a priest,

the way others have one to become a painter or a cricket player.

What about you, your holiness?

(Door opens)

(Keys jingle)

- Voiello: It's for you. - Holy Christ.

If only I were.

- How did you get in here? - With a duplicate of your keys.

Esther: Now what do you want?

Everything you were supposed to do, but haven't done yet.

I've tried.

But it's impossible. That gentleman is the pope.

He's the man of the greatest virtue and rectitude on the planet,

and I've never been much of a seductress myself.

Voiello: Neither was the virgin Mary.

But that didn't keep her from becoming

the most attractive and desired woman on earth.

But I'm just a good catholic girl.

Good catholic girls, especially the married ones,

don't cheat on their husbands.

But I didn't come here to threaten you,

nor to remind you of your sins.

You are an intelligent woman. You should know.

What should I know?

That you are beautiful, you are attractive,

and the pope has a particular interest in you.

He only cares about my sorrow. Peter and I can't have children.

Voiello: That's not the way it is.

What I'm about to tell you is confidential, eternally so.

Esther, the holy father's faith

isn't as solid as we like to think.

- What are you saying? - I insist.

Moreover, he's had dozens of girlfriends.

He's a loose man.

Your job is to seduce the holy father.

We will take care of everything else.

I wouldn't know how to go about it.

And I don't want to wind up tangled

in a public scandal that would ruin my life.

Silly girl. There won't be any public scandal.

All that's needed is the threat of scandal to turn things around.

What things?

The holy father intends to issue new measures

that could lead irreversibly to the extinction of the church.

Do you understand what vastly significant stakes

we are talking about?

Me, you, all of us have the sacrosanct duty

to stop him, in god's name.

But I could try to talk to him. He respects me.

(Muffled giggles)

Sorry.

I was about to laugh, but I stopped myself, because I have a certain class.

We seriously doubt that pius xii! Even respects god.

You don't know him at all. He's an extraordinary person.

That's why you are so seductive, Esther. Because you don't know a thing.

Now, go and seduce him.

(Exhales sharply)

I don't want to sin anymore.

If only that were possible, Esther. If only.

(Woman speaking Italian)

_ friends, good evening!

Today we are here with a very, very special guest.

Let's start from the beginning.

What's your name?

- Tonino pettola.

- "Tonino pettola: Saint or fake?" - Tonino, what kind of work do you do?

- I'm a Shepherd. I herd sheep.

- So, a flock.

You need to know that tonino pettola has a flock of sheep,

and a few years ago

he started to see the Madonna.

- Right, tonino? - Yes.

- When did you have your first vision?

- The day I got...

The stigmata!

The stigmata!

Unbelievable! Tonino, show us your stigmata.

Oh... ok, ok, thanks!

Ladies and gentlemen, it's incredible.

This is truly amazing!

I'm close to him, and I assure you, these are

genuine stigmata!

Tonino, please tell us about this vision.

- In the middle of my flock a young woman appeared, full of light.

Yes.

It was Mary.

It was the Madonna.

- It was the Madonna.

- And the Madonna spoke to you, tonino, right?

Yes.

What did she say?

-She said: "Tonino," -yes?

"You are a descendant of mine

and also of padre pio.

You have the light.

You have the power to see me,

and to heal the sick.

You have..."

In any case, my friends, let me say that

tonino pettola lives here in montecruccoli,

and for the past two years, since he began having visions,

thousands of faithful have come from all over Europe, right?

Just to see him, to meet him, to touch him,

to ask him for a miracle.

Tonino, you've already done some healings, right?

- Yes. - After six months the healings began.

- The Madonna... - Yes...

- Listens to tonino particularly in regard to cardiovascular diseases

- and meniscus problems. - Useful!

- In fact, a lot of athletes have come here to montecruccoli.

Pallotta, the soccer star...

- Yes, we say hello to him! - Expected to be benched for 6 months

with torn ligaments, but

after tonino touched him, he recovered.

The following Sunday he was back on the field.

He even scored a double.

With his right foot, which is not his good one.

- Incredible. This story is incredible!

You should know that

tonino receives only 100 people at a time.

Othennise, he says

the miracles won't happen. Isn't that right, tonino?

- Yes, that's right.

And I'd like to say that we don't ask for money.

- No, no, no...

- And there's nothing illegal here.

I have a gift

and I want to put it to use to serve the needy.

And that's really beautiful...

But tonino...

We know that something is bothering you,

tonino is heartbroken.

Tonino is heartbroken because unfortunately the church

refuses to recognize his abilities.

And this pains you.

But today

we'd like to put our show at your disposal, which - as you know - is very popular,

to speak directly to the cardinals who are listening.

And why not?

Maybe even to the pope! Because maybe the pope is watching us too!

Tonino, what do you want to say to the pope?

- There? - Yes, there!

(Clears throat)

- Holy father,

why won't you believe me?

We sent you...

All the documents,

but you returned them unopened.

I am real.

I'm not lying.

I am so devoted,

so in love with god,

that the Madonna answered my prayers.

And she appeared to me.

I don't want money.

I just want you to say

that I am one of you.

I don't want to found a church of my own.

But if you in Rome

continue to call me a fraud,

then I'll be forced to found a church of my own.

They all want it...

All the faithful flocking here to see me.

What should I do, holy father?

Please tell me.

Please tell me.

If he perhaps wants to tell me.

(Crickets chirping)

Jump.

(Grunts faintly)

Jump.

Something odd has been happening

in the last few hours.

Len NY: Let's hear it.

During confession, for reasons that escape me,

people have suddenly started recounting

their exploits with women,

offering up the most intimate, embarrassing details.

Strange, isn't it?

Someone must be spreading a rumor

that the pope is out to punish the homosexuals.

Tommaso: (Chuckles) Oh, yes, the famous calumnies of our little state.

What if they weren't calumnies?

(Speaking Italian)

- "I don't want to sin anymore"...

Esther said through her tears.

I've heard more people say that than anything else in my life.

And they all believe what they say.

She also believed what she said.

Poor girl.

She doesn't know that up to the very last day that we are able to think,

we are condemned to go on sinning.

That's why I need you, girolamo.

You are my oasis.

You are my salvation.

You girolamo, are the only soul in the world without sin.

(Excited chuckle)

(Voiello continues speaking Italian)

Only you, girolamo,

can truly touch the hem of holiness.

(Excited chuckle)

You, who do not know...

And will never know what it means to live inside a wrong life every single day.

Forgive me.

Forgive me if you can, girolamo.

(Crickets chirping)

(Speaking Italian)

- Good night, Don tommaso.

(In English) Good night, holy father.

Let's go in the bedroom.

(Switch clicks)

-Peter: No -(Switch clicks)

Where?

Here.

All right.

(Inhales sharply)

(Breathing heavily)

(Both moaning)

(Moaning continues)

(Esther breathing heavily)

(Moans faintly)

Virgin Mary, mother of god,

Peter's successor has a specific grace to ask of you.

Now, right now, those two young people in their home,

Peter and Esther, have only one wish.

You must Grant it to them.

You must.

You must. You must.

You must. You must.

You must. You must.

- (Both moaning) - You must.

- (Moaning continues) - You must, must.

(Voice breaking) You must. You must!

You must. You must.

You must, please.

You must.

- (Peter grunting) - (Heavy breathing)

Amen.

(Both panting)

(Woman snoring)

Lenny: (Whispering) They are taking their afternoon nap.

(Gutierrez chuckles)

The fat one is snoring.

Gutierrez: (Whispering) Yes, she is mother letizia.

(Snoring continues)

She's the metronome of sleep.

(Chuckles softly)

Lenny: I made an important decision. Gutierrez: What?

You will go to New York to investigate the kurtwell case.

Why do you want to punish me, holy father?

This is no punishment, this is a promotion.

I trust you.

Holy father, spare me.

I'm a modest, limited man, believe me.

The kurtwell case is something far too big for me, beyond my scope.

Quit selling yourself short. You're going to New York.

You'll investigate.

You'll gather the necessary evidence, and you'll put kurtwell into my hands.

My papacy won't let the harm done to even a single child

slip away into indifference.

And you will help me, because I trust you

blindly.

Holy father,

I'm a recluse. I only know how to live inside these walls.

In all these years, I've left here only twice,

both times to go to the hospital.

I don't know how to cross the street. I don't know how to get a hotel room.

I don't know how to order a meal in a restaurant.

I'm like those canaries in cages.

If you free them, they die.

Lenny: You're afraid.

I was afraid, too,

before I accepted my destiny as head of the church.

How do you overcome fear?

By giving in to the complex and unfathomable architecture

that god has designed for us.

(Woman speaking Spanish)

- Be calm, Bernardo. Be calm.

The boy has become a man.

But I will continue to protect the boy.

Where do afternoons land?

Where do may afternoons land?

The boy has become a man.

(Speaking Spanish)

- I land here.

(Woman speaking Spanish)

- Yes.

That's true.

But I will continue to protect the boy.

(Wind whooshing)

(Church bells tolling faintly)

(Mellow music playing on record)

(Nada singing in Italian)

(Singing continues)