Original subtitles

(Riddler) I'll give you one last chance, old friend.

[whimpering]

'It can be cracked. It can be made.'

It can be told. It can be played.

What is it?

[muffled speech]

Come on, Gorman, it's easy.

[muffled] A joke.

- Jump? - A joke!

- Jam? - A joke.

Jarlsburg? No, sorry.

beep beep

Looks like you'll get the consolation prize.

(Batman) A joke, Riddler. That's the answer.

It's also what you are.

swish swish

- Uh! - Oh, no, no, no.

[grunting]

[groaning]

(Riddler) 'Not so fast.'

I've waited too long for you

to get away now, Gorman.

[grunting]

This was personal, Batman.

[instrumental music]

[grunting]

whirr

[grunting]

Hate doing this to my own ship, Eddie.

But if that means having you out of my life

once and for all.

beep beep

[explosion]

[grunting]

[theme music]

[explosion]

beep beep

[explosion]

[both grunting]

[beeping]

(Dick) 'You know, since this is cooking class'

maybe you should've made something you can eat.

You can eat this.

It's a combination

of my two favorite things

soup and licorice.

[beeping]

Mr. Burke, I-I'm not feeling so well.

Would you like to go home, Mr. Grayson?

[coughs] Yes...please.

Well, you're not going to.

You've been sliding out of here

with barely believable excuses for months.

'Plant allergies, frostbite, hallucinations.'

'All those toothaches.'

You have any teeth left, by the way?

A couple.

[thudding]

Destroying Gorman was a pet project of mine.

Now ask me how angry I am.

That was us hitting the bottom of Gotham Bay

which means we're too deep to make radio contact.

'The pressure's too strong to swim out'

and we have a very limited air supply.

I suggest we put this on hold.

Ooh, sounds like we're in quite the pickle.

Then here's an easy one for you.

What do I have to lose?

[grunting]

Is that the answer you were looking for?

[beeping]

(Dick) Gotta get out of here.

Well, you said be creative.

Yes, but we're not making rat poison, are we?

You get an F for the assignment

but an A for what were you thinking.

Wait, you can't give him an F without tasting it.

You want to try it, Mr. Grayson?

I sure do.

[gasping]

[groans]

It burns.

Oh, I see, Mr. Grayson.

'Nice try, but you're not going..'

[stomach growls]

[groans]

[retches]

How about you take the rest of the day off, Mr. Grayson?

Too much cheddar, huh?

What is 9857?

There's nothing in here that's gonna help us.

We're trapped.

It's how many seconds

before we run out of air.

[coughs]

Okay, try this one on precise.

What's at the beginning that's also at the end?

Don't you ever get tired of riddles?

Oh, but you'll like this one.

What's at the beginning that's also at the end?

'The answer is Gorman.'

And you, Batman.

At the beginning and now the end of my career as the riddler.

Both of you were two pieces in a jigsaw puzzle

that began forming long ago.

You see, I was always interested

in matters of the mind

even if my dimwitted daddy couldn't understand.

(male #1) How about we try a real game for once

and play some ball, champ?

[gasping]

And the thrill that came from unriddling a riddle

continued to grow

especially when I began upping the ante.

Games, you see, were much more interesting

when you were playing for something real.

Yet I needed still bigger challenges

which is how I of all people

ended up in a Gotham university lab.

You're a genius, Edward.

External bio hard drives for the human brain.

This invention is going to put us on the map.

More than that, Julie.

We're changing the way people think.

Can't remember a phone number?

Boom! More memory.

Trouble with some nasty math equation?

Boom! More processing power.

(Julie) What's this?

You have to be careful who you give these puzzles to.

They could drive someone crazy.

Here. It's easy.

You're incredible.

Not so bad yourself.

Ahem. Knock, knock.

I'm back. Ha ha ha.

Gorman, what part of we're not interested

didn't you understand?

Well, maybe I'm not someone

who's gonna take no for an answer, Eddie.

'Look, with my business savvy and your invention'

'we can make a whole lot of money together.'

Maybe we should at least listen to what he has to offer.

The brains of the operation, huh?

Now what's it gonna take for you to play ball, champ?

I was never one for ball, champ

and I don't plan on having some small-minded dolt

profiting off my genius!

grunt

You're wrestling with the wrong gator, Eddie.

What were you thinking, Edward?

Someone like Gorman could help us.

I don't know why you act the way you do sometimes.

(Riddler) I hated upsetting Julie

so I told her about my father

and all the other Neanderthals like Gorman

determined to get in my way.

And suddenly, I wasn't such a riddle to her anymore.

Soon we were ready to demonstrate our invention

for the president of the university, no less.

Edward, I'd like you to meet a potential investor

and the man kind enough to let us use his home

for today's display, Chuck Gorman.

Pleased to meet you, Eddie.

Let's just get started.

"The Laws Of Physics." Read it.

- Which part? - The whole thing.

Now what is the law of universal gravitation?

Uh, umm..

It states that a particle attracts every other particle

with a force that is directly proportional to the product

of their masses and inversely proportional to the square

of the distance between them.

[applauding]

[groans]

(Gorman) 'Call an ambulance.'

Uh..

What have you done to him?

(Riddler) While the blame would fall on me

I was smart enough to know it was Gorman

who sabotaged that disc.

With me out of the picture

he would now easily get his hands on my technology.

I was ruined.

And in that one moment, I..

...lost my last chance to..

To what?

To not be the Riddler.

Come on. Where are you, Batman?

The distress signal came from somewhere out here.

(Batman) I still don't see how I fit into this.

Oh, we're getting there.

You see, after the university let me go

I decided to go into interior decorating.

[switch clicking]

How in the world?

[gasping]

[door thudding]

- What? - 'Exactly.'

What, my favorite word.

Eddie, is that you?

What have you done to my house?

Oh, I took the liberty to make some improvements

while you were out.

'And because you had some fun at my expense'

'I thought I'd return the favor.'

[beeping]

I had nothing to do with what happened to you.

Of course, you didn't.

Now, let's have some fun.

Question, what 11-letter word

does everyone pronounce incorrectly?

I'm not playing your sick games, Eddie.

My father hated my games too.

But I think he just lacked

the proper motivation to play them.

[gasping]

Okay, okay.

Eleven letter word everyone

pronounces incorrectly.

Incorrectly. The answer's incorrectly.

(Edward) 'Very good, Gormie. That's the spirit.'

Whoa!

[grunting]

Time for our next riddle.

Forwards, it is heavy.

Backwards, it is not.

Forwards, it is heavy. Backwards, it is not.

[groans]

I don't know.

(Riddler) 'I'll give you a hint.'

Backwards, it is not.

N-O-T.

Oh, do we need yet another hint?

Ton. A ton. T-O-N.

(Edward) Sorry! Too late.

Goodbye, Gormie.

[screaming]

[grunting]

What?

Oh, great, another freak.

Who are you supposed to be?

(Edward) I know the answer to that.

The Batman. I've heard of you.

- A regular do-gooder. - And who are you?

Nothing more than a bit of a gamesman.

A riddler, if you will.

'Good thing you arrived.'

'Gormie needs all the help he can get.'

[dramatic music]

[liquid burbling]

"Within the mirror you must strive

'"to find a way to stay alive.'

'What is four plus number five?"'

It's nine. The answer is nine.

With a riddle, the most obvious answer is rarely the right one.

Wait.

See? I told you.

You've just accelerated the countdown.

The riddle says find a way.

A way is a direction.

A direction is south.

'Four plus number five is an inverted image'

'of the word south.'

Argh!

[glass shatters]

[gasping]

No! That's cheating, Batman.

Maybe if this were a game. You're done.

Actually this has been so much fun.

I think I'm just beginning.

(Riddler) You inspired me that night.

I needed toys like yours.

Maybe a little fashion sense too.

And I let Gorman taste some real success

so he'd have that much more to lose.

That ship was filled with his, my bio-sensitive discs.

Now, they're at the bottom of the bay.

But so are we.

[crash]

As I said, you were there at the beginning.

And now, you're here

at the very bitter end.

It's not over yet.

This container's filled with air

which is lighter than water.

Then we're not floating because something's pinning us down.

Those jolts, they were caused by the debris shifting.

If we can move the debris from the inside

we might break loose.

Maybe if both of us tried.

You and me? Work together?

I'm into riddles, not jokes.

Besides, I've ruined Gorman

and that's as good a note as any to go out on.

Then you're sure it was Gorman who sabotaged you?

Even you, Batman, could've puzzled together

a mystery this obvious.

Yeah, obvious.

I guess I just figured with a riddle.

The most obvious answer's rarely the right one.

[Batman grunting]

[grunting]

[beeping]

sizzle

- Come on. - So you can take me to prison?

Better than where you were headed.

Robin?

[grunt]

No more question marks, Batman.

Now we put a period

at the end of your life.

[grunting]

Exclamation point, anyone?

vroom

sizzle

[door opens]

Another late night in the lab, Julie?

- Ed-Edward. - Whoa, you remember me.

I'm touched.

What are you doing here?

There's a riddle I'm having trouble solving.

You were always so good at them.

Maybe you can help.

The $64,000 question.

Why did I sabotage our project?

Come on, Edward. It's not that hard.

[grunting]

I thought you understood me.

I understood you were a psychopath.

One that was going to ruin any chance for success.

And so you got rid of me.

Very smart.

But I think we can make you smarter yet.

Our little external bio hard drives for the brain

were only intended to be used one at a time.

Let's see what happens when we use them all together.

[gasps] No, Edward. What are you doing?

- Aah! - I know, I know.

He's about to get his butt kicked.

Am I right?

[grunting]

So tell me, Batman

how'd you piece together it was my Julie who betrayed me?

Easy. Gorman was a businessman, not a scientist.

He would never have known how to sabotage that disc.

And that just left one other person.

[grunting]

Anyone would've realized that except you, champ.

Grr.

No question about it, Batman.

This time I will have my revenge.

No!

[grunt]

[sizzle]

[groans]

(Riddler) 'Aah!'

Let the police set her free.

One last riddle, Robin.

When is a villain not the villain?

They're all yours, officers.

[theme music]