Original subtitles

♪ ♪

(rumbling)

Hmm.

Oh, no. The time has come.

It's happening.

(sniffs) Ugh, the smell!

Lone Moose is dead meat.

(singsongy): Alanis!

Wakey-wakey, it's almost prom day-kee!

(yawns) Hey, Jude.

So glad you woke me up to tell me.

And, great news, the song "Sixteen Moments"

is gonna be the official prom theme!

Not "You Oughta Know"? Whatever, Judy.

Alanis, you've heard "Sixteen Moments," right?

It's the song about the most important moments

in a lifetime,

and it's by that band Sixteen Swedish Sisters.

Wait, are there really 16 sisters?

Uh, yes, it's five sets of triplets and then Oonga.

-(gasps) -ALL: Good morgon, Alanis!

Oh! Okay. I guess I'll just move over a little here.

You know, this is kind of my sky area, right? So...

Give Alanis a little taste of your big hit, gals.

♪ There are 16 moments you never forget ♪

♪ The first one's when you're born ♪

♪ The last one's when you die ♪

♪ But the 14 in between ♪

♪ Don't let them pass you by. ♪

Okay. Okay, that's enough.

Can some of you, like, go?

Contrary to popular belief, the sky does have a limit.

-Fine. -She is rude.

So rude!

They didn't even get to moment five. Ugh!

But I'll spoil it for you. Okay, it's going to prom!

In Swedish it's called Studentbal.

♪ Your Studentbal dance, a corsage made of wheat ♪

♪ Your head on your date's chest ♪

♪ Listen to his heartbeat. ♪

A wheat corsage?

-That sounds terrible. -(blows raspberry)

Kima and I do not have dates yet,

but we will find them, and I'm wearing heels

so that I can lay my head on my date's chest

like in the song, so all I care about is

finding someone very, very tall.

What about his personality?

I'm not, uh, dancing with his personality,

Alanis, grow up.

♪ Grow up. ♪

Okay, nope, out of here. I don't like you guys.

You look like you're doing a Midsommar, and I hate it.

-(gasps) -Bye. -Rude, again.

The citizens of Lone Moose are calling it

the smell from hell.

Its source? So far a mystery.

This, along with an epidemic of small earthquakes

has turned Lone Moose into Danger Zone Moose.

Ask not for whom the smell tolls.

It tolls for you.

And now a story about a dog that only eats calzones.

(sniffs) Used to be you could only smell it outside,

but I'm definitely smelling it inside now.

I think it smells a little like butt and a lot like ass.

Nope. I've been training my nose in preparation

for my Lil' Preppers Tracker test,

so listen when I tell you, it's gravy.

Well, not gravy exactly but gravy-ish.

I'm sure they'll figure it out soon,

and our beloved Lone Moose will go back

to something we're all passionate about: status quo.

JUDY: ♪ Studentbal dance... ♪

Oh, no. She's singing "Sixteen Moments."

Dad, please stick two hard boiled eggs in my ears.

-(stops singing) -Judy, please!

After I hear "Sixteen Moments,"

it replays in my mind for days.

Even in sleep I do not find peace.

Well, I think it's kind of catchy,

though it's got nothing on the perfect stillness

-of a fall morning. -(rumbling)

-(all gasp) -Okay, these earthquakes are

officially freaking me out.

They've been nonstop for weeks.

Same with that awful smell.

If this keeps up, we're gonna have to move.

Ooh, maybe an artist's colony in Tulum?

Lone Moose doesn't kick us out when we stink.

Surely we can return the favor.

JUDY: Hello, Lone Moose Lovers.

It's us, your prom committee.

No, thank you.

Before we begin our announcements,

I will sing a bit of our prom theme song,

"Sixteen Moments."

No, Judy!

Okay, big announcement.

It's been so unusually warm this spring

that Principal Gibbons has decided

we can have the prom outdoors under the very romantic stars

for the first time ever.

Also, we have secured DJ Airhorn for the night.

And finally, we will be voting for prom king and queen

at the dance to avoid what happened last year,

when Stacy B. "accidentally"

poured her iced coffee into the ballot box.

And if it looks like I'm losing, I'll do it again.

(chuckles): Terrific.

And now...

-(music plays) -Do not play that song!

(groans in frustration)

-(rumbling) -(gasping)

Just a little earthquake, everyone.

Nothing to worry about.

More dangerous stuff happens every day in Alaska.

Just this morning I accidentally consumed

some soy-based breakfast sausages.

And if it could talk, the teachers' lounge toilet

would have a harrowing story to tell.

-Hmm. -Hmm, what?

Got something noodling in that favorite noggin of mine?

Don't you think prom king and queen is a little old-fashioned?

Does it have to be a girl and a guy?

And I'm not just saying that

because I think you and I should win.

Yeah, maybe it should be like...

prom president and prom vice president.

Positions of absolute power

-with absolutely no responsibility. -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

We should present this very good idea to Principal Gibbons.

I know, I'll play baby Principal Gibbons,

entering this world, destined to make this decision!

This plan is foolproof.

PEPPERS: Thank you all for meeting with me

-this afternoon... -(gasping, groaning)

-Hold for earthquake... -(rumbling)

...and for agreeing to be a part of my task force.

Of course. We've got to find the source of this smell

that's fouling up Lone Moose.

I was thinking we'd call ourselves the Stink Tank.

Mayor Peppers, if I may, I have a working theory.

Moon, as a ten-year-old, you by law cannot be here,

so I am forced to ignore everything you say.

But what if I told you the smell was gravy-based?

I'd say: who said that?

Now, I'm wondering if the smell could be

from one of Junkyard Kyle's controlled burns.

Oh, yeah, remember how she burned all those cartons

of Bagel Bites when she went gluten-free?

I was pissed. I would've taken those.

-Nope. I haven't burned anything. -(Moon sniffs)

Yep, the only thing I'm getting here is cinnamon.

Wow, what a sniffer!

I did do the cinnamon challenge this morning.

I try every day.

You know, whatever that smell is,

it's attracting animals.

Saw a weird bear near my trash yesterday.

Looked sort of like a polar bear,

but it was the color of one of those coffees

that fancy Anchorage people drink when they put milk in it.

-Yuck. -Uh-oh. Sounds like a pizzly.

Dr. French is right,

and pizzlies are extremely dangerous.

Wait, isn't "Pizzly" the yellow Teletubby?

She's so rude. I am not a fan.

It's a hybrid animal.

See, as the world warms,

polar bears can't find food,

so they venture south where they meet and mate

with grizzly bears, creating a pizzly.

Aw! It's like a Lifemark movie,

where the big city gal crashes her car in the woods

and then falls in love with the local syrup maker.

These pizzlies are monsters

and usually desperate to find food.

All right then, let's head out and keep looking.

Rome wasn't sniffed in a day.

KIMA: I brought the goods

in case we spot a DERG.

What the hell's a DERG?

D-E-R-G, Dateable Educated Reliable Guy. DERG.

Hmm. I don't think that's gonna catch on.

Agree to DERG-agree.

So, if we want to make an impulse promposal,

we hold the door up, ask him to go to prom,

and then shoot the confetti gun.

Simple. Tasteful. Elegant.

So for yours Judely, we need a tall Paul.

And I want a guy with a big honkin' Adam's apple.

Walk me through the Adam's apple thing again.

I don't know, they just do it for me.

I want to draw a little face on it

and talk to it while he's sleeping.

(high-pitched): "Hi. I love you."

-I love you, too. -Deranged, but I support you.

Thanks. Ooh, what about him for you? He's tall.

JUDY: Kima, he's like 60.

Yep, yep, and the search continues.

♪ Lookin' for a man, lookin' for a smell ♪

♪ Lookin' for a dude and for a stink as well ♪

♪ For a boy who's got some class ♪

♪ Or a smell that smells like ass ♪

♪ Lookin' for a smell, this town can go to hell! ♪

♪ ♪

-(school bell ringing) -JUDY: That's it.

I'm desperate enough at this point.

I'm just gonna go with Gill.

I'll put him on stilts. He's done it before.

Gill, you're my date to prom. Congratulations.

Oh, sorry, Judy. I already have a date.

You wh-wha... What? Is it your hamster?

I did buy him a little tux so he can go in my pocket,

but no, it's Genevieve Jacobson.

What? What? What?!

This is a disaster!

And so I must return this dress to the earth.

What the hell is happening here?

We're holding a funeral for our perfect prom.

Oh, hell no! I paid $200 for that dress.

The only way it's getting buried is if you're in it!

You're going to the freaking prom.

Yes, we are going.

We have to. We're the prom committee.

But we're wearing jeans and standing in the corner

-and glaring at people. -People with dates.

I know people think it's stupid

to try to have the perfect prom, but...

But that's sexist!

'Cause if a boy had the dream of throwing a perfect football pass

or whatever, everyone would be all for it, even if he sucked.

(crying): So if I want the perfect high school moment

-where I get to dance... -Yeah! Yeah!

-Well... -Breathe, Judy. Kima, breathe.

Girls, calm down.

I don't think your prom dream is dumb,

-and I think I can find you dates. -You-you can?

Yes, my home village is crawling with boys your age.

There was a huge ice storm 17 years ago.

People got bored,

and nine months later there was a baby blizzard.

What kind of teen boy do you want?

Nice? Mean? Chubby?

I'll call your auntie and put in an order.

C-Can mine have a big Adam's apple?

He can have an Adam's grapefruit for all I care.

Take a look. That one's yours, Kima.

Don't worry, I triple-checked

and you're not related to him.

Judy, yours is running late, but he'll be here.

Okay, good luck, girls.

Move over, New York, that's a big apple.

Hi there. I'm Eli.

Oh, sorry. I'll move my case.

I bring my tuba everywhere.

-Wow, so cool. -Ow.

Sup, Eli? Oh, hey, girls.

(whispers): Leaning tower of wow-za.

Hello there!

(laughing)

Oh, hey! It's the Stink Tank!

I saw you on the news.

You know, I've been tearing perfume samples

out of magazines and taping 'em to my face

to hide the stench.

Yeah, we thought there might be a fish die-off here,

but I'm just not seeing it.

Well, I hope you guys find the smell soon

-'cause it sucks...! -(rock music plays on radio)

(gasps) What in the...?

Okay, team. Uh, huddle up here for a second.

Don't look now, but at seven o'clock--

well, my seven and your... 14?

I-It's Looney Louie again.

-He's been following us. -Relax, Wolf.

He's just a harmless oddball who speaks in riddles.

Every town's got one.

We should probably just ignore him.

Like my wife ignores me when Seth Meyers is on.

She's obsessed. I try and I try,

but I can't deliver topical jokes like him.

What kind of name is Seth?

Seth? I'm just jealous.

-I get that. -(others scream)

Handsome guy, too.

Why are you following us?

The, uh, the smell.

You're looking for the source, correct?

Do you know something about it?

Well, uh, I really can't say,

-but you need to look down. -Down in the lake?

It's not the lake, but it does involve fish.

Okay, but how?

When is a fish not a fish?

Oh, I know this. Squidward.

Look, if you know something, you should tell us.

Figuring it out should be child's play.

Okay, Louie, uh, thanks a lot.

Oh, he's gone. Where'd he go?

Dad, put that guy on my birthday invite list.

We can bump Russell if we need the space.

ELI: So that's when I knew,

I had to call my improv troupe.

And what happened neck-- I mean, I mean next. Next!

-Neck. -Oh, salt's empty.

-I got you. -Wow. Even your arms are tall.

You guys want to hear something cool?

I'm learning "Sixteen Moments" for jazz band.

Laird, hand me my tuba.

Wait, really? That song is the theme for our prom.

Kima, it's a sign.

Hell yeah. It's DERG time.

Guys? We would a-door...

-Ow! Kima! Oops.

(clears throat) We would ad-- Ah! (groans)

-Kima! -Sorry. I'm just a little nervous.

I don't usually use this many props when I'm asking a guy out.

Will you two be our dates to prom?

-Sure. Uh, which with which? -Totally.

You with me 'cause I'm wearing heels.

And, Eli, you with me.

Any issues with having your neck written on with a marker?

Specifically the Adam's apple area?

You're not the first girl who's asked me that,

and to answer your question: I love it.

And now to get some sleep on this gorgeous prom eve.

I'm begging you, restless legs,

just save it for the dance floor.

EDDA: Hallo.

(yawns) Oh, Edda?

Hebba? Maja?

My favorite Swedish triplets?

And you're our favorite singlet.

♪ Good morgon, Judy, it's your prom day ♪

♪ It's your nothing-can-go-wrong day ♪

♪ Everything will be perfect ♪

♪ Everything will be nice ♪

♪ I looked out the window ♪

♪ And there's no cow upon the ice ♪

Eh, what now? No cow on the ice?

Ingen ko på isen, no cow on the ice.

It means no worries.

Oh, I'm in overalls.

Whoa. What's in this front pocket?

♪ It's birdseed ♪

Oof, the smell. Is it getting worse?

-♪ Who cares about the smell? ♪ -♪ Not me ♪

-♪ Tonight's your moment five ♪ -♪ Of 16 ♪

Studentbal!

Morning, Judes. Nose-pin?

♪ No smell can get in her way today ♪

♪ Not rotten eggs or spilled milk on hay ♪

Nothing can get in my way?

But what about the earthquakes and that awful smell in town?

Our horse, Hungenböttem, loves that smell.

He's a little freak.

Judy, that smell is getting worse.

We have to move the prom inside.

♪ Sure, it feels like vultures are circling, ja ♪

♪ But tonight you'll klädd upp till tänderna ♪

That means getting dressed up to the teeth.

♪ It's your prom night, Judy, maybe don't go ♪

♪ There's something smelly lurking below, ooh! ♪

Oh, wait, don't go? What do you mean? Aah! What's coming?

Oh! That was such a crazy dream.

But it was just a dream,

and there's no way that we'll have to move prom inside.

We have to move the prom inside.

The smell is just too disgusting.

We want people getting down, not throwing up.

We have to prep the gym for the prom by tonight?

Calm down, Kima. There's no cow on the ice.

-What? -It means everything's gonna be fine.

Fine, fine, fine!

Let's just not worry about anything!

Knock-knock, Principal Gibbons.

I hope you have popcorn in your desk drawer

because you are about to be entertained.

Oh, hello. What's, uh, what's this?

We've prepared a presentation

asking to change prom king and queen

to a gender-neutral alternative:

prom president and vice president.

Not so we can win or anything, no. I mean, come on.

But if that's what the people want, we will accept it.

And now, the presentation.

I'm Mrs. Gibbons and I'm pregnant.

Hello, world. I'm Baby Principal Gibbons,

and I believe I was born to make a difference.

Incredible. Approved!

I'm embarrassed we didn't do something like this sooner.

-Oh, wow, thanks! -And honestly,

I'd love to see the whole show again

if you've got a few minutes.

Of course. Back to one, everybody.

WOLF: Heidi my Klum, that's a lot of seal.

Yep. We got ourselves a fish die-off.

Lot of fish, lot of seals, lot of smell.

Welp, that's it. Mystery solved.

Not so fast, Mayor.

There's a strong smell here,

but it's not the same as in town.

It's fishy, not gravy-y.

I'm not saying you're wrong, Moon,

but maybe it's different in town

because it's blending with other smells.

I'm not saying I'm wrong either

'cause I'm saying I'm right.

Our search isn't over.

Son, you did a great job,

but now it's time to let this gas pass.

DIONDRA: The source of the smell has been confirmed

as emanating from a fish die-off near Seal Rock.

In other news: an attack on We All Scream Ice Cream Shoppe,

where a strange-looking bear mauled an employee.

Meldrick, you're in our thoughts.

Aw, Poor Meldrick.

Selling soft serve ice cream is his whole life.

Well, that and cooking meth.

(sighs) The smell isn't fish, Dad.

You know I can assign farts to any member of the family.

-I do. -(farts)

That was Wolf.

How about this, buddy? Tomorrow we go back out

to check out some other possible options.

But tonight we let our noses rest.

All right, I'll hit the snooze button on my sniffer.

Okay, kids, picture time.

Let's get up on those stairs.

Uh, Laird, honey, I'm gonna need you to fully sit down.

-Whoa, earthquake. -(others gasp)

(chuckles) I have to be careful during those.

If I collapse, a lot of people could get crushed.

(laughs) That's funny.

Judy, your date is funny. All right, let's go, guys.

What do you say, Moon? Want to keep me company

while I drop these guys off at the prom?

(sighs) Sure.

I do love seeing the school at night.

It's like seeing Dracula during the day.

Shotgun! Not for me, for my tuba.

I brought it in case I get struck by

some spontaneous inspiration.

Oh, my gosh, I'm the same way.

I keep a little ball of clay in my bra.

It stays moist because I have a ton of boob sweat.

Ah, two budding artists.

(chuckles): You guys seem like perfect dates.

(scoffs) No, Dad, we aren't dates.

I'm going with Laird because he's tall,

and Kima is going with Eli

because he has a big Adam's apple.

Of course. My mistake.

Have a great time.

Remember, there's nothing wrong

with talking in a corner with your friends.

The smell is way worse here tonight.

(sniffs) Ah, you're right, son.

There's something we're missing.

I know this sounds looney,

but do you think that Looney Louie guy

actually knows something?

That doesn't sound looney at all.

I think his place is out by Stearns Hill Road.

-Let's go talk to him. -Hell yeah. Floor it, Dad.

Son, I will floor it until we hit the speed limit.

And there my foot shall remain. Here we go.

Vote for your prom president and vice president here!

And put your phones in the "Live in the Moment Lockbox."

Friendly reminder that

there will be a special teacher skit tonight.

I don't want to give anything away,

but it is about the dangers of drunk driving,

and we will be in banana costumes,

and it is called "Alexander Banan-ilton."

Huh. The tone's a little tricky,

and there are a lot of moving parts,

but if you can pull it off, my God.

Little hay bales, like in the song.

♪ The fourth moment is spilling your first cream pail ♪

♪ While milking your "ko" sitting on a hay bale. ♪

Wow. Our voices sound good together.

I listen to that song every day

while I'm working on wood carvings

in my grandfather's treehouse.

They first accidentally built the treehouse on me,

and I had to be like, "Hey, guys. I'm not a tree."

(laughs) Your date is amazing.

Your date is amazing.

I'm not saying we'll become prom president

and vice prom president, but just in case,

what should our first legislation be?

-World peace? -Or... we get to have

all the tiny Swedish meatballs from the food table

and no one else gets any.

We'll go mad with power. I love it.

This is Looney Louie's house?

Doesn't look very... looney.

Ah, I expected you might show up.

Please remove your shoes in the foyer

and choose some animal slippers.

JUDY: Hello, everyone.

Or as the Sixteen Swedish Sisters would say: välkommen!

It's time to announce our prom president and vice president.

This year, our prom president is Ham Tobin.

-(cheering) -Vice president is...

-Crispin Cienfuegos. -STUDENT: I know those guys.

Okay! First order of business:

No one can have any meatballs except me and Crispin.

Gill, bring us the full tray of meatballs

from the snack table so that nobody can get

their peasant hands on them.

Yes, sir, Mr. President.

BEEF: So, we're here about the smell.

Our group thinks they've solved it,

but Moon thinks they're wrong.

I watched the news. They are wrong.

I knew it! One question: Is it gravy?

(laughs) Well, young man. It's not not gravy.

I wish I could tell you more, but I was paid

a lot of money to keep quiet about what I know.

Maybe you could... guess.

Guess the information you can't tell us?

Correct. You're off to a great start.

I'll give you a little help.

Let's just say I worked for a...

-Giraffe. -Company?

Yes, and we made...

-Diapers? -Hammers?

Hmm, starts with an "M," rhymes with "street."

Miniature feet.

Okay, you're actually terrible at this. (groans)

Oh, what the hell? I worked for a company

that mass-produced meat in Lone Moose.

We weren't permitted to put our meat wastes

in the dump because it would attract animals,

so, for decades, we put them in underground bunkers.

You dug holes in the ground and just dumped meat in them?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We dug holes in the ground,

then poured concrete in them,

then dumped meat in them, then sealed 'em up.

-Why would you do that? -It was cheap.

So, that's what we're smelling? Buried meat waste?

The meat was supposed to stay frozen

because the ground was supposed to stay frozen,

but over time the ground has thawed out a bit

with how the whole darn Earth is warming up,

and the meat is spoiling.

What you're smelling is spoiled meat by-products.

Which is a cousin of gravy.

I was right! Thank you, Louie!

Oh, it's actually Looney.

My first name is Looney. Short for Loonjamin.

Anyway, all that methane gas produced by the spoiling process

is now building up, creating pressure,

which is what's been causing those little earthquakes

everybody's been feeling.

But it's only a small glimpse of what's to come,

because all of that gas will eventually...

-Explode. -Exactly.

But where will the explosion be? I mean, where was the bunker?

Oh, there's a few around town, actually,

but the one that's rotting right now

and is on the verge of exploding is...

well, remember my riddle?

When is a fish not a fish?

Oh, my God. When it's in a school?

Hey! Ding, ding, ding! You got one.

Dear Lord, the biggest bunker is under the school

and will explode any minute now?

The kids! The prom!

Walt, when you get this message,

meet me at the school, tell the rest of the Stink Tank.

-Moon, any luck? -Judy and Ham aren't picking up.

Floor it, Dad! For real this time!

(ringing, buzzing)

Everyone ready to take the stage?

Or shall we play another round of Zip Zap Zop?

And now, we will have the traditional

president and vice president's dance.

DJ Airhorn, if you would please play the theme song.

-(air horn blows) -DJ Airhorn! Yep, yep, yep!

♪ There are 16 moments you never forget... ♪

Oh, here is my moment.

It's happening.

Head on his chest. Hear his heartbeat.

-(rumbling) -Oh, my God! -(others gasping, screaming)

Okay, everyone, this is your president speaking.

Please remain calm and-- What the hell is that?!

(panicked screaming)

♪ There are 16 moments... ♪

But... my fifth moment.

Moon, you stay in the car, I'm gonna-- Oh, God!

-Oh, boy. -MOON: Whoa...!

-Oh! -Ah!

-(tires squeal) -(all scream)

Oh, no. We're too late. The bunker exploded.

I'll go get the kids.

Uh, Dad, look.

Pizzlies. I think they want to eat the exploding meat.

(growling)

BEEF: The kids are trapped in the school.

The meat bunker exploded.

The mutant pizzlies are hungry.

Oh, no. This is bad. This is bad, bad, bad.

WOLF: Bell Biv DeVoe, so this is how we all go!

BEEF: We just need to get across this meat muck

and past those extremely dangerous pizzlies

and get our kids out.

I think I know what we need to do.

-All right, we're going in. -(screaming)

-(screams) -(growls)

BEEF: The whole school could blow up any minute.

-What?! -Yeah.

Don't tell any of the other kids.

We wouldn't want to cause a panic.

(students gasp)

Oh, dear, am I on speakerphone?

N-No...

You know what? Screw whoever's fault this is.

We should just have our prom anyway.

BEEF: Why on earth is the ground still rumbling?

Um, there's a second bunker.

I'm sorry, what?

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0