Original subtitles

No, don't say a thing.

Let me guess.

You're looking for a swimsuit

that will make you irresistible on the beach.

A tennis outfit?

A sarong? No, I know.

Miss is queenly, she must be a horse rider.

Actually we have saddles on sale,

made from leather! No, I'm doing it wrong…

First, I need to know where you're going on vacation.

You're going on vacation right? I knew it.

I'm never wrong.

So… let me guess where.

Cannes? Antibes? Juan-les-Pins?

No? Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat!

-Hey? -Pornichet.

My daughter is going to Brittany. We want to see boots and raincoats.

Yes… P-Pornichet… You know,

it's a beautiful town.

This season we have discounts on winter equipment.

Why not take a look?

This way, please.

There we go, I found my size.

Oh, no! I prefer this one.

Three weeks of training and you'll be the Rambo of the summer.

Three weeks? Are you sure?

Yes I'm telling you.

Take it, see for yourself.

Have you found what you're looking for?

We will call you when we need your help!

Okay, ma'am.

It's not me he was looking at, Mom. It's you he liked.

Won't you be too hot with that on?

Come on, Mom! You heard the weather forecast.

Brittany isn't exactly the Seychelles at the moment.

Yes and your grades aren't great.

Please, Mom!

Let Dad do the lecturing.

Oh! You nearly forgot them.

Don't forget you only have two months to revise for your September exams.

I'm aware of that, thank you.

Listen, my darling. If it wasn't for me you know,

you made a moral contract…

Which has not been respected.

I'll remind you of the terms.

You must pass, firstly, primary education.

Secondly, secondary education,

and finally, university. One of the terms, the third, has not been respected.

-Yes, but-- -No.

I know, you're an adult and you can live freely.

But not while you're in this house.

Georges, you're too harsh. The punishment is quite…

Harsh?

Me, harsh? Shall we move on?

I've brought you the Brittany museum guide, the Dolmens

and their origins, and the Carnac stones. You'll see, it's very beautiful.

Who is calling?

A Mr. Lassale from Geneva.

Yes, it's about a contract.

-I'll take it in my office. -One moment.

See, it always comes back to these contracts.

Go on, work hard. You'll see,

Brittany is good for your health.

So, young lady, are you going on vacation?

Yes, that's right.

Don't worry, we'll get you to your train.

Montparnasse station, in the West.

Brittany or Normandy?

At the next traffic light, turn left. We're going to Lyon train station.

But in front of the sad looking lady you said…

Well now I'm saying Lyon station!

Oh well, I don't care. You're the one paying.

Lyon station, Montparnasse station, you should know…

You know, I once had a customer…

I'll walk. With your bullshit, I'll miss my train.

You can't slam on the brakes like that!

-It's her! -I don't give a shit!

She told me Lyon station…

I don't care about Lyon station.

-Look at that! Taxi! -Taxi!

You'll have the best vacation of your life,

here, at Saint-Tropez, with Patrice.

Woohoo!

J'te raconte pas! It's Patrice who joins you this morning

on St. Tropez radio!

A sunny morning as usual,

with Patrice in a great mood, as always!

Oh no! What a great doctor you'd be

my back pain has gone as if by magic!

It's the magic wand!

Like every morning, a few personal messages

after this first song!

Message for Dr. Schweitzer.

Attention, Big Teddy Bear is arriving!

Darling!

I found it!

The magic cream for your back pain!

The song of the summer will be

"Renaud forgot his shorts."

It's still Patrice live on air, it's still J'te raconte pas!

So, playboys, was it a good night?

Not too tired?

See? They're talking about me on the radio.

I'm wondering how they could have known?

I'm not one to brag.

Hey, girls?

We'll announce the high temperatures for this afternoon.

I won't tell you about the sunburn!

Look, here's SOS womanizer.

He makes me weak, this guy.

-Hi girls! -Hi!

Well, my Chouchou. Is that knitting?

Whilst waiting for something better, yes!

I hope you haven't come from that horrible woman's house!

No, my Chouchou. You know I only love you!

So you say, so you say…

Another little personal message.

My Chouchou, consider putting sun-cream on your fragile skin.

Ouch!

What is this?

He found it! Look, he found it!

It's my favorite. It's the one Boy Georges gave me.

Oh, I love you!

Well! Help yourself why don't you.

It's in our agreement, right?

Ouch!

Look, speaking of our agreement.

No, it can't be! It's an epidemic!

Hey!

-Emergency services. -Very good diagnosis.

It is indeed urgent.

It's a beautiful day. It's J'te raconte pas with Patrice

who is keeping you company all morning.

Woohoo!

He's in a great mood, your friend on the radio.

My friend is always in a good mood.

You'll have the best vacation of your life, here at Saint-Tropez,

with Patrice. Woohoo!

-J'te raconte pas! -Turn the radio down.

Chouchou, you overcharge. It's expensive for such a small swimsuit.

You don't realize! I lost my job due to these…

these beautiful fruits! I would become vegetarian.

And I would definitely be on a diet.

If Betty looks for me, tell her I'm coming back for lunch with Patrice.

Yes, go.

-It's good! -Put it on!

So we can see how it looks! She's there, with her swimsuit…

Yes…

-Yes, that's him, I swear! -No, Patrice is taller.

I'll prove it!

-Could I have your autograph? -Do you have paper?

No, better than that.

Voilà.

You have no idea, I'm never going to wash again!

-I'm tired… -Don't tell me, I know.

I'm exhausted too.

You want to earn in two months what others earn in two years!

-We're not sleeping, or we're screwed. -Come on, hurry up.

Help! I can't swim!

Help!

Help!

Another idiot who wanted to show off!

Save me!

-I can't swim! -Go!

Help!

I can't swim!

-Calm down. -I can't swim!

Let me go, I can't swim!

Oh… Renaud! Patrice! Don't you remember me?

It's me, Norbert, from Club Med in Agadir!

-Oh no, not him! -We're not doing that again, thanks!

Guys, don't be idiots!

I can't swim!

Remember Agadir!

I can't…

Hey!

-I can't swim! -Hey!

-Do you see what I see? -Shut up and rescue him!

Help!

-I knew you recognized me! -It's okay, I'm here.

Thanks guys.

Agadir…

Hold on.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on.

Well, Dr. Schweitzer. Your patient doesn't look well.

Mouth to mouth…

And then what?

-You could give him a little… -Let's calm down and not be crazy.

I was just kidding!

I have just what I need for this on board.

To my right,

the ravishing little slut with pear-shaped breasts.

It's Heidi!

Heidi, Renaud, Patrice.

And to my left,

the queen of sluts,

with velvet eyes, it's Ingrid!

Don't make that face!

They're Finnish girls.

They don't understand a word of French. Yes!

Hello, miss.

You really don't understand anything?

Tak, tak.

"Tak, tak."

That's all they know how to say.

It's not just that,

but you saved my life. I will never forget it.

We'll start by celebrating that. Right, little sluts?

-Tak tak. -"Tak tak."

Nothing better than a glass of Piper

to celebrate our reunion.

I'm happy to see you again!

Don't drown guys! It's me who can't swim.

I'm pleased to see you again.

-And me too! -I can't explain how glad…

Yes.

Here you go, two dry martinis and a William Lawson for Mireille.

Go on, take them!

And when I stole the map and the compass!

They had taken a group on an excursion to the desert!

Yes, three days wandering through the desert.

The face you made when you got back to the village!

-Do you remember? -You bet we remember it!

That's why we got kicked out of the club.

So you have me to thank boys! It was a prison there for you!

Don't you prefer it here?

-Was it you who threw the salad? -Not me, him!

No…

That's made us very angry!

We don't snitch on our beach friends!

We clean, we breathe in, we get our breath back.

and buy a pretty swimsuit for our beautiful woman.

Come on, darling. I'll explain.

-Come on Patrice, don't do that! -Idiot!

Well, young beauty.

Are we dreaming?

-Are you talking to me? -Yes.

Where are you going? I can drop you off.

I don't know exactly where I'm going.

That's great! That's on my way.

Please.

Have a seat, princess. It won't be long.

Thank you.

So, my sweetheart. Where do you want to go?

I'm looking for a friend who lives here during vacation.

I can perhaps help you there. Here, everyone knows everyone.

What's your friend's name?

-Renaud. -Renaud?

And what's he like?

Renaud Martin, 22, medical student.

here with a friend called Patrice, who's a host on St. Tropez Radio.

I know who that is.

-Do you know where he is? -Of course sweetheart. I'll drive you.

As my boat business is doing well.

I'm not too tired, I take one for a drive from time to time.

-Yeah? -Yeah!

That's how I picked up these two! They were on a pedalo!

I took them onboard and they haven't left me since.

-It's funny-- -That's Patrice.

Hello, my name is Juliette. I'm a friend of Renaud's.

I'm Patrice. Renaud has told me about you.

Hello little loves.

I'm Sacha.

-Are you on vacation here? -Tak tak.

What's your name?

Let it go.

They don't understand a word.

They're Nordic. They don't understand French.

Even better.

Women bore me with their incessant talking.

It'll be a nice change.

Who's the new girl? She's cute, introduce me?

Juliette, this is Chouchou. If you want a swimsuit, he does crochet.

-Hello. -It's a pleasure.

She's Renaud's friend. Have you seen him?

Yes. No… yes, I haven't seen him.

He went to do an errand at least

a quarter of an hour ago!

-He's gone. -He's far!

Come on!

He's over there, in the forest.

With the girl with beautiful breasts. What's her name again?

Oh…

Terrible.

Congrats!

-Juliette, what are you doing here? -What about you?

A brief glandular examination, it's purely professional.

Yeah, right.

I'm so happy to see you.

Really.

-Are you ready? You know what to do? -Don't worry, it will be fine.

Hello? Mom? Can you hear me?

Yes, I know, but there's a folk festival!

No! Speak louder! I can't hear anything.

Yes, I arrived safely.

Yes, grandma is well, she sends her love.

No, it's quite rainy.

You know Brittany.

No, Mom. It's the wind picking up.

Yes.

I'll start studying tomorrow.

Don't worry, Mom! The storm will calm down tomorrow.

I promise!

I will send you photos and I'll write you.

Hey, I'd like to drink a little cup of cider!

Kenavo!

-It's nothing, it's sailors! -Yannick! Shall we play a game?

Mom, I need to hang up.

-Kenavo! -Yes, I'll call you again.

I'm sending my love. Bye.

-Kenavo! -Kenavo!

Voilà.

-This is our place. -No way!

What have you done to live in a place like this?

I must admit I'm in shock.

Yeah?

Well, the star of St. Tropez Radio is going to take a shower

before going to the nightclub. Yes, mic, work, no sleep.

Patrice is with you all night

on New Jimmy'z dance floor!

Here are the lovebirds!

Well? Are we catching up?

Darling! Oh!

And now, a relaxed slow dance

for a couple just as relaxed who know where they are.

These are also cute!

Moron!

We chill out

and we dance in rhythm!

Quick, wake up!

Clients are arriving!

What time is it?

What's happening?

-Why are you dressed? -Do I have to reply to everything?

What is it? Did someone fart?

On my way back from the nightclub, I came across Fanny with two customers.

Oh dear…

Hurry up! They're arriving in two minutes.

Shit!

Here you have everything a retired couple could wish for in the area.

It's sunny almost all year round. The tranquility,

and the regularly maintained gardens.

Here's the pool.

You even have a lifeguard who comes with the property if you ever need one.

You know, at our age we don't do sports much anymore.

Oh!

What we're looking for is comfort, peace.

You'll be delighted with the peace here.

In terms of comfort, you will see the show apartment.

Wonderful! I can't wait to see it.

So that you have a better idea of your future apartment,

we have a new way of showing you around.

-Please. -Yes, excuse me.

Voilà. This is the classic three-room apartment

that our designers have created for you.

I'm sure

you can already see yourself in that gentleman's place.

I must admit…

You've done things well!

Ma'am.

-Sir. -Sir.

And the staff come with the apartment?

Oh, no.

Our friends are just here to show you how idyllic life can be here.

Isn't this above our means?

Pff…

I have a cheaper two-room apartment.

-If you want I can show you it. -If it's not too much to ask.

If you will just follow me, please.

I'll buy it!

Well, beautiful Apollo!

Why is your nose in the sand?

Looking for my knitting needles?

They found them for me darling!

I'm not looking for anything. I'm working out.

Well, you're quite right!

Training your body is good for you my darling.

Stop calling me "darling"!

I'm not your darling!

Well what's wrong with you?

Well, children. Did we fall out of bed this morning?

Like you wouldn't believe. It's a nightmare.

I didn't know they organized costume mornings here.

Tell me about it. Drag queens are my specialty.

Speaking of costumes, you three could help me out.

If it's a clothes problem, you can count on me. I'll help you out.

Anyone want a pedalo tour?

Pedalo?

Yes, pedalo. We peddle.

Are you saying that to me?

No, Miss France!

Ask Sacha.

It will be good for his body-building.

So, what can I do for you honey?

You're sure we don't look stupid?

No my little darlings, you look great!

Hurry up and take the photo, my show starts in 20 minutes.

If you weren't moving around I would have already finished, sweetheart!

Stop yelling at each other, or we'll never do it.

Strike a pose, quickly! I have to return the costumes before noon.

Fantastic! You'd think we were in Pont-l'Abbé!

Don't move.

You peddled too strongly, we're already in Brittany.

-Not too tired are you? -You wanted to go on a pedalo, so pedal.

Hello? Oh, it's you my darling.

I just received your letter with the photos.

How's the stay, not too hard?

No, but it's not great.

I'm working so hard I don't have time to think about anything else.

-Is Granny Poulette okay? -She's great.

She sends you her love.

With her poor legs, the village phone box is too far away.

Don't hang up, I think your father is calling from Geneva.

-Oh, is Dad not there? -No, he's away.

He's in Geneva with an important client. He has a big contract to sign.

He must be as bored as you are.

-Hello? -Hello, Béatrice?

Oh it's you, my darling! I have Juliette on the other line.

-How's it going? -It's awful, as expected.

-Do you at least have good weather? -Horrendous.

I'm going to leave you, Mom. I'm going to dive back into my geography.

Bye, kisses.

Juliette! What are you doing here?

Listen, I'll tell you everything. I'm not in Brittany.

My darling! What do you think of my new swimsuit?

Alexandra, please note

in response to your letter of the 18th.

I point out that our company

due to unforeseen reasons, was unable to

import our products from Italy. It would be very nice for us…

Well, Georges.

What's this? Making your lovely lady work on a day like this?

And who is this beautiful young girl?

Yes, who is she?

I don't know.

I've never seen her.

Okay, well, let's go to lunch?

So he's modern, your Chouchou.

But my Juju… my poor Juju!

Your father has gone too far.

Showing up with this girl, wearing a horrible swimsuit,

who is from who knows where!

Calm down, Chouchou. It's fine,

now we're on equal footing. And Mom won't know anything,

so there's no uneasiness.

Renaud? Oh, it's you.

What a welcome! How nice.

Sachinou, you're good at scaring people!

I'm always happy to see you my darling.

Give me a kiss, a kiss.

Yes, okay girls! There is enough for everyone!

Yeah, that's right! There's enough for everyone.

If I need to be like Chouchou to please you, I will.

So, my dear. What's your size?

Look, does that suit you?

And you, the pretty blonde?

That's it! He's cracked!

I was sure he was, the macho man!

-You see the Dad was completely trapped. -It's crazy!

What's she like, Juliette's fake mother?

Huh? Uh… ordinary.

-Oh yeah. -According to Juliette.

I couldn't tell you, I haven't seen her yet.

Not seen, not caught. Well, not yet.

I trust you.

J'te raconte pas! It's Patrice here with you

all morning. Patrice in better and better spirits

on the sunniest of radio stations.

Don't mess around, we're on air!

Be careful with the equipment, it's not cheap!

One of summer's slow songs,

cuddle up, youngsters, there's no better time!

Hi! Am I disturbing anyone?

What are you doing here?

Sandrine! It's really you. You haven't changed.

-Where did you come from? -From Nice, I hitchhiked.

I'd really like a shower, if possible.

No problem, my darling. Do you remember the address?

What? You still live there?

-Yes! -You're annoying!

Stop, Renaud!

-Stop, Norbert! -Have you heard from Renaud?

Yes, he should be at the studio with his… inseparable friend.

-Isn't that right? -Yes.

-Do you want a drink? -Yes.

Renaud!

Oh, Renaud!

Renaud! Stop, no!

Renaud!

Oh the bastard! The disgusting bastard!

Um… you've just heard…

One of the slow songs of the summer…

"Renaud, oh Renaud!" "Your kisses are so hot!"

"Oh, it's good!"

What's up with her? Is she on her period?

The bastard! The vile monster! Does he really think that's gonna happen?

He'll see! He'll get what he deserves!

The bastard! I don't believe it!

Who does he think I am? No, I don't believe it.

Well, hi!

I'm Sandrine, Patrice's friend.

-He has a show on St. Tropez radio. -Don't tell me.

No! The show is J'te raconte pas!

You're leaving?

Yeah. This way you can bang them both.

Oh, I nearly forgot.

I'm generous, but not with personal items.

It's me.

I decided to answer your invitation.

Don't you like me now?

Well? Come and prove it.

Come on!

No that's not okay!

Do you want to straddle young girls?

You arrived a little too late, sweetheart.

He's with me now.

Listen, the bed is big. We could maybe…

-An orgy! How awful! -Not right away!

Who does she think I am? No, listen.

We are going to put Juju in the bedroom…

at the back!

Too straight! Your wrist is too straight!

I've told you all morning!

You'll never do it! You're too tense.

What do you expect? You're always behind me.

Always rushing me.

When I think before…

Before?

Sachinou, before what?

You aren't happy?

Don't you realize that your life has completely changed?

Oh yes. Completely.

Chouchou! Hurry up! You promised me my swimsuit by this morning.

It's terrible! I can't give you it anymore.

-Don't feel embarrassed! -They all want Chouchou!

My Sachinou wants Chouchou too!

-Yes. Everyone wants Chouchou! -Yes!

Little darlings! Have a coffee with us?

Tak tak.

Betty, four coffee's please!

The girl from Brittany is having a blast since you broke up.

We were never really together, you know.

-Like you and Sandrine. -It's not the same.

I love Sandrine! I only see her, I only want her.

She's my treasure, my ride or die!

Stop talking as if you're on your show!

That's the business, baby.

-Am I right? -Tak tak.

She's not making progress, eh!

So, Renaud. You're not jealous, are you?

Jealous, me? Have you gone mad?

Fanny called.

You need to call her back. It sounded urgent.

Okay, I'll go.

So, darlings, all good?

-Tak tak. -Yes, tak tak.

I know someone who would like to tak tak with you!

I can't tell you how much. What do you say?

-Tak tak. -Well, let's see.

Listen, it's very simple. If you have two minutes…

Stop your pleasantries, we have a problem.

-What is it? -There's an unexpected visit.

We need a girl, we don't have Juliette for the maid.

-Who cares, Sandrine is there! -Really? Come on.

-Patrice? -Yeah, I'm here.

Come and look.

"My adored Patrice, I am going to Ibiza with Michael,

the beautiful German that you didn't like."

"I hope you don't mind, I hate goodbyes." "No hard feelings, Sandrine."

There…

Well shit! The bitch!

-Are you going to tell me you're jealous? -No, it's not that.

The thing is she timed it badly.

What are you doing? Why aren't you dressed yet?

We don't have anyone to be the maid. What should we do?

I have clients arriving in 15 minutes! Get on with it, I don't want to know!

She can't be serious!

As you can see, the gardens are maintained all year round.

You also have a lifeguard who comes with the property.

Miss, we don't want to buy a lifeguard. We want an apartment.

-We also have a heliport. -We don't want to buy a helicopter either.

You can visit our show apartment.

Finally! It's about time!

We have a new way of showing you around!

What we're interested in, is the apartment.

Please, ma'am.

If you wouldn't mind. Excuse me.

-Is the apartment lived in? -That's what I was trying to explain.

We use extras so you can better understand the comfort of the place.

It's interesting!

Is that also part of the circus?

Well…

It's just that… ma'am…

It was… it's… oh my.

It's part of the new demo.

How odd! Anyway, let's move on.

-Where is the bedroom? -Please follow me, ma'am.

You're ravishing, my girl. You're doing great.

Shut up or I'll make you eat your pipe.

These tiles are hideous! You know I'm a stickler for tiles!

I would really like to see the bathroom.

It's at the back, to your right.

Could you accompany me, I don't know the place…

Of course, sir. Patricia would love to show you.

-Right, Patricia? -I'll get you!

Oh Patricia, my love! You're the one I've been waiting for!

Let go of me, sir! You're not being reasonable.

We haven't even introduced ourselves.

Call me Charles! Do you feel the desire overwhelming us?

No, not really.

Let's calm down and take our sedative!

Listen. I'll give you everything you want.

This apartment, where we'll house our love!

Just you and me.

-I'm not a woman! -I don't care!

I'll take you to Brazil, get you an operation!

-That's not possible, I can't fly. -It doesn't matter! We'll go by pedalo.

But… Charles!

-What are you doing? -Huh? I was going to tell you angel.

I was checking the tiles.

Because, you know. You're a stickler about

the tiles… I had two minutes,

I thought why not try out… the tiles?

Voilà.

You're a bastard. You blew the deal.

According to Fanny, the lady was really interested.

I wasn't going to…

Would you have preferred I got laid to please Fanny?

Why not? It seems to be good for the complexion. Look at Chouchou!

I'm not like Sacha. I don't want to swing the other way.

Well listen…

The blonde over there, in the convertible. Is she yours or mine?

I have a feeling she's going to cause trouble.

-Why, do you know her? -It's Mrs. Nadaud, Juliette's mother.

-Oh dear, it's going to kick off! -Mrs. Nadaud, what a surprise!

Allow me to introduce you my best friend, Patrice. Mrs. Nadaud.

It's a pleasure, ma'am.

-I know everything Renaud. -I don't know what you mean?

You look quite charming in Bigouden.

-How could you have known… -The mood here has made you careless.

"Photo Kiss, development in one hour, Saint-Tropez."

-Listen, I'm sorry, let me explain-- -No.

Just tell me where Juliette is.

-What's wrong, baby? -Nothing.

Go to the court, I'll meet you there.

Hello, Mom.

What are you doing here?

You're really asking me that question?

Well I wanted to tell you that--

Listen, stop. I know everything. I just saw Renaud and his friend.

-Oh, I see. -Oh no.

Your accomplice didn't betray you. That's not the point.

The point is to help you find a solution to get you out of this mess.

What do you mean?

Imagine your father's reaction!

If he found out you're in Saint-Tropez when he thought you were in Brittany!

I'm warning you Georges, I'm in great shape.

You know, fitness, you can think you have it…

Mom! I'll explain!

Georges, what's up with you?

Nothing. There was a stone in my shoe.

Oh. Okay, let's go.

I'm coming.

-Mom, calm down! -I'm very calm, perfectly calm!

-What do you want to do? -Divorce, my darling!

Thank god, these days this sort of thing is a mere formality.

Listen, Mom, there must be another solution.

-Are you coming back with me or-- -I understand your anger.

But listen to me for one minute!

Surely there is a better way to fix it!

-Better? -Come on, Mom!

It's not the time to break down!

-Okay, Juliette. Listen-- -No, Mom!

It's you who's going to listen.

Love-40.

Come on, my darling. Focus!

Yes, my darling… My dear Georges! Sorry.

Focus!

It's love-40!

Game.

Change of serve.

Come on, Georges!

You're not in the game!

Stop jumping around like that. It's annoying, frankly.

My shoe is hurting me. One minute, please.

-Is it hurting, my darling? -Yes, it hurts!

It really hurts.

You're in New Jimmy'z

where you'll spend all night with Patrice!

I know that's more than one person's dream!

Yeah!

Skål!

Tak Tak!

Kisses, kisses.

Oh, darling!

A William Lawson, please.

No, don't tell me, let me guess.

Sabine? No.

Too ordinary for a woman of your class.

Odile, perhaps?

No. Natacha?

I knew a woman called Natacha very well.

And who…

And who?

And who?

And who? I don't know, who?

-But you, us, you. -Oh, champagne!

Absolutely charming! Thank you, my little Bruno.

We'll catch up later, as agreed? See you later.

-Okay. -Okay.

-What's that on your lips? -Glittery red.

-And this outfit? You look like a… -A hooker?

Like Natacha? Or like her?

What a heartthrob my dear Georges! Oh, yes.

Do you need them all? All the most beautiful ones.

-Are you tired Georges? -No, not at all.

Yes you are, you should go home.

Your beautiful wife is falling asleep.

If you don't mind,

I'll replace you with this beautiful stranger.

If she doesn't mind.

-She doesn't mind. -Goodnight, Georges.

Goodnight, Richard.

See you tomorrow, Georges.

See you tomorrow.

For lunch, at the beach.

We'll settle our business. Tonight, I'm having fun.

I'm in a great mood!

Your big sister isn't bad at all.

I hope she's more affectionate than you.

Oh, that depends on the day and my grades.

What's wrong tonight, are you okay?

-Can I do anything for you? -No, it's nothing, Fred.

-Are you sure? -Yes.

However…

This is a personal message for Dr. Schweitzer.

A swimmer has been stung by a jellyfish

near Betty's, on Tahiti beach.

Sorry, I'll correct that for the doctor.

A beautiful swimmer was savagely attacked

by a creature from the depths of the ocean.

Let's go!

Let's go!

Tak o tak, tak o tak

Tak o tak, tak o tak, tak o tak

Tak o tak, tak o tak

You can't do that!

Excuse me, it's an emergency.

Beware of jellyfish!

-Where is the patient? -There.

-Is it serious? -It could be.

Excuse me.

We don't mess around

when it comes to health. What's more, you pulled me away from… intensive care.

Oh…

-It's not a sure thing yet! -All the better.

Oh! It's sorted!

Never mind!

You have pretty eyes you know, Patrice.

You took your time to notice them!

But… no! Not yet!

Juliette promised me lunch if I managed to get them back together.

Well, okay, but just a minute.

Sorry I'm late, last minute interview.

Radio has many problems!

But, the listener comes first.

Okay. So, what are we eating?

Have you seen beside you? It's…

It's complicated.

I think I'm going to give in, darling.

Oh, we forgot you, my dear Béatrice!

No thank you, my dear Richard.

It's not good for my figure.

Her figure, can you hear her!

She's a gazelle! Isn't that right, Georges?

-Yes, a gazelle. -Yes that's right.

-For your age-- -Please, don't interfere.

Oh dear… these newlyweds! Always bickering.

What about you Béatrice?

You have a husband?

Uh… yes I do.

Undoubtedly, all the beautiful women are married this year.

Don't worry, dear Richard.

-A very modern husband! -Is this circus nearly over?

What's wrong, my darling?

It's nothing, a bit of pain.

Oh! You tried to keep up with me.

Too much sport at your age isn't wise.

Right, old boy?

Tell me, a husband, but no children?

Actually, yes.

A daughter.

She's in Brittany at the moment to revise for her exams.

An adorable child.

Incapable of the smallest lie.

You don't need to exaggerate.

Ah, children. You don't have any, Georges?

No.

Not yet.

Oh, your pain?

No, I was wondering when we would sign these famous contracts.

We must wait 24 hours. I'm missing a document,

the Geneva office is going to send me it by express.

Stylish! We can go to Monte Carlo. I'm dying to play!

You promised me!

Yes maybe, but

Monte Carlo, it's not next door. With the traffic…

We'll need at least…

Oh, 20 minutes!

By helicopter, 20 minutes!

Dear old boy!

Yes, old boy! My dear Georges, you can't refuse

to give such a simple pleasure to someone…

so lovely.

As for us, dear Béatrice.

I'll take the chance to take you to Saint-Tropez' inland.

I know you'll love it.

Do you know Ramatuelle?

-No, but I would love to. -You'll see, it's…

Let's finish, and after we can do a little bit of water skiing.

Yes, it's good!

-Oh okay. -Yes.

-I can't believe it, the show-off! -What's she doing with such a bastard?

It's not her fault, it's mine.

I didn't expect this.

Since you insisted we make up,

well, it's all the same.

You'll have to help me fix my mess.

I'm sure you know the Saint-Tropez inland incredibly well!

Yes!

What's happening? You're conspiring and I'm not in the loop?

You see, Sacha. There is something knit right.

as we knitters would say.

Didn't I tell you it was magnificent?

You were right, it's beautiful.

-Where are we going exactly? -I made a reservation at an amazing inn.

You have to taste their specialty.

To start, we could have…

Quickly!

Quick, it's an emergency! My wife is about to give birth!

What do you want me to do?

What do you mean?

My car has broken down, my wife is having contractions, quick!

I don't understand what you want me to do.

I believe this man has

car issues and wants us to take his wife to the clinic.

Exactly, the clinic. Quick!

Oh, but our date, the reservation!

Okay, let's go.

Thank you ma'am, thank you sir.

I'll be right back. I'll go get my wife.

Hey, thank you!

If only we passed five minutes earlier.

-Another time! -Yes.

Gently, careful.

-Don't worry, come on. -It hurts!

-Come here. -Careful!

Yes, slowly…

-It hurts! -Careful… I'm coming.

-Slowly… -I can't take it anymore!

We're there, my darling.

There we go, we're here.

-Wait. -Quick!

-Quick! -There. Go.

Careful.

Watch your head, don't lose your hair.

Poor thing!

-Are you okay? -It hurts!

Do you need help?

-No thank you, it'll be okay. -It hurts!

Tell me, are you seats washable?

-Are they washable? -Why?

Because of the contractions, I'm worried…

-The leaks… oh no… -Okay…

-My poor thing! -Where are we going?

Drive, there is a clinic a few kilometers away.

-It hurts! -Oh my flower!

My poor flower! My darling.

Be careful, for God's sake!

Drive smoothly, but quickly!

Oh dear, my poor darling!

Don't worry!

My car!

And we dragged them around inland Saint-Tropez for two hours!

I had no voice left from yelling!

And the worst thing was we found a clinic!

We had to go in to carry on the game!

I had a hard time explaining to them that it was a joke!

They had started filling out the admission form for us!

You're lucky that the receptionist at Béatrice's hotel

refused me nothing.

I know where to find them this evening.

-Where? -Ah ha!

-Sacha, can you play the mandolin? -No, why?

-That's good. -He can't even knit!

That's enough.

-Oh he's cute. -Let go of my t-shirt!

Don't be impatient, we have plenty of time.

We've been here fifteen minutes and we haven't seen a waiter.

Waiter!

You're right, we have time.

Did you know Italian cuisine has a reputation of being

an aphrodisiac?

No, I didn't, but I want to know.

-Waiter! -Yes, yes.

Pronto! I'm coming!

What a misery!

These tourists are always rushed!

Allora, why are you bothering me?

We would like to order please.

If it's to order, I will get Mamma for you.

Mamma!

There are people in a rush to order at the back table.

So, the bambino, he's hungry?

He wants to try the good pastaciutta alla bellissima donna?

Yes, uh…

The…

Signor Antonio isn't here?

Antonio is on vacation. But la stessa cucina!

Sorry?

-Yes, the food is the same. -Oh.

What do you recommend?

Well, you should trust me.

I'm going to serve you spaghetti al pistou!

It's my specialità.

And you know…

the pistou…

is an aphrodisiac!

Go on!

Oh, the bambino is not well!

He's not well!

It's going to make him feel much better!

And to finish…

Ah yes, to finish!

It's a surprise!

We season everything with Valpolicella!

Buon appetito, lovers!

Arrivederci amore mio!

I'm sorry.

I don't understand… The manager is a lovely man.

It doesn't matter, Richard. I'm sure it'll be perfect.

You're right. Besides, let's talk about you.

I would really like to know…

Oh no!

-L'amore, l'amore -L'amore, l'amore

-È la pui bella cosa del mondo -È la pui bella cosa del mondo

-L'amore, l'amore -L'amore, l'amore

L'amore è la più bella cosa Per una ragazza come te

-L'amore, l'amore -L'amore, l'amore

-L'amore -L'amore

L'amore è la più bella cosa del mondo

-Per un ragazzo come te -L'amore

-L'amore -L'amore e la felicità

Thank you.

Thank you so much!

Spaghetti al pistou!

È la specialità della house!

Oh!

Oh dear…

Santa Madonna! I'm so clumsy! Shit!

-Sorry, sorry… -No.

What have I done?

-It's fine, it's fine. -Thank you.

Mario! Come and help me!

Un pò di acqua! Water!

After the pasta, what would you like?

What is that?

Do you want to ruin me? To scare people away?

Oh dear!

Excuse him, sir.

Scusi, ma'am. Here.

I will clean it. He's new you see.

I'm an expert cleaner.

-Here. -No! That's enough!

-Already? -That's enough now. No more joking.

Sorry, sir.

-Sorry. -That's it. Come on, we're going!

Please. Move, please.

Stay, ladies and gentleman.

Oh dear!

Oh no. This is too much.

It's too much, it's…

It's tiring, I'm getting sleepy.

Listen, I'm sorry Béatrice, but really…

We will have to call a tow truck, there's no other way.

Problem?

-Yes, two flat tires. -It must be the heat.

It happens!

-I'm going back to Saint-Tropez. -Can I?

-Does that bother you? -Not at all Béatrice, honest!

-Listen, I'll call you tomorrow. -Yes, sure.

Allora, shall I take you?

Yes, okay! As long as you don't sing in the car!

Right, see you tomorrow. Maybe we'll have more luck.

Yes.

Bye bye!

That's right, more luck.

I talked a lot with your mother while I took her home.

She is really nice. And not bad looking!

Not bad at all!

Very tasty.

Hey! That gives me an idea.

I'm better than Lassale, right?

I could maybe…?

No. I don't think that would be a good idea.

These good women with their dirty stories!

-Aren't we better together, Sachinou? -Pass me the crochet.

There's the crochet!

He's ruined our vacation, this Brassale!

-Lassale! -Whatever.

We're spending our time being stupid!

Norbert is right, what are we doing?

Really! You guys are losers!

I would go further, the lousiest of losers!

-Do you have a solution? -I don't know what we could do.

Oh, the two bitches! What's it to you?

What we're seeing.

She's right. We're not taken care of anymore.

So we have found the solution to your problem!

Should I ask her what the weather is like in winter back home?

If it's cold.

Oh dear.

But…

They speak!

Did you hear them?

They speak like you and me! Oh shit, they speak.

Now listen up everyone.

Especially you, Juliette. Come on over.

-So? -Wait a minute.

-Say it! -Wait, Juliette is coming.

Hurry up, Juliette.

Georges, please stop making that face.

-I was a bit lost… -You call that "a bit lost"?

Jackpot, final six, all on the five!

Listen, my darling…

No more darling, do you understand?

I have a name, it's Georges! No, I've already done this!

Oh great, you're in a good mood. I was worried you wouldn't be.

I could have introduced myself saying "darling", but he doesn't like that.

I'm Juliette, darling's daughter. Oh sorry, George's daughter.

You look a little pale for a Saint-Tropez resident.

Now we're together.

Mrs. Nadaud! It's for you, a Mr. Lassale.

Thank you very much.

"Sorry about our date tonight,

but I have important business at my villa."

"Foreign clients passing through."

"I would love you to join us. Richard."

"Bon Plaisir Villa."

"13, Azalées street."

Richard?

Are you there Richard?

Oh! You scared me.

Now nothing and no one can bother us.

Alexandra? What…

I had a… what are you doing here?

Georges! No!

-I can't do this anymore! -Béatrice!

I can't do it, I can't play this game anymore.

-Béatrice! -It's too complicated for me.

Too complicated. I've had enough!

No!

Béatrice, listen to me.

How long have we not been speaking for?

-If I could have imagined that us two… -Likewise.

Admit it, you aren't worse off.

You expected a married woman, with a child…

and you find me, who is free.

I've missed the attention and tender gestures.

I am going to try to relearn it all.

So, are you doing the same moves again?

The moves?

What moves?

The Slow-Club,

the pink champagne,

the student bedroom…

-Juliette! -You forget the rest.

Marriage, honeymoon in California.

Yes but because we had Juliette, we didn't really enjoy it.

What if we went back, just us?

-In love? -Good idea.

Okay California. But there is a little problem.

Which is?

You need to find the car keys so we can get back to Paris.

It's Patrice on the mic at St. Tropez radio.

I can't tell you how beautiful it is!

A little bird told me that Cupid struck hard last night.

So for all the lovers listening, here's the song of the summer.

Kiss!

Personal message.

I was told there was a pilgrimage to Disneyland

in California forecast.

Say hi to Mickey for me! Ciao!

How many sugars in your coffee, darling? Sorry.

Richard, please. Richard.

-How many? -Two.

What is it? Don't you like my new color?

-I love it. -So?

I love your new colors.

You green hair with a purple djellaba, it's a questionable taste!

You always have something to say.

The worst thing is you look crazy!

Have you seen yourself? Old retired tranny!

Have you looked in the mirror lately?

-Knit and shut up! -Have you seen yourself!

Really! I'll never introduce you to my parents.

My father… I'm ashamed! I'm ashamed just at the thought of it.

Norbert, what did you plan for lunch? Where are we going? How are we dressing?

And is the boat ready? You promised us a trip to Corsica.

Do you think we can tan naked there?

Tak tak.

Message for Dr. Schweitzer.

A beautiful swimmer has got cramp

near Tahiti beach. I repeat.

-Sorry! -Oh no!

That's not happening again!

…near to Tahiti beach. A beautiful swimmer…

You're crazy! It might be an emergency!