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1
00:00:11,291 --> 00:00:12,631
I still think bottles are the best move.
2
00:00:12,632 --> 00:00:14,781
No, they're not because you
can't crush a beer bottle
3
00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:16,550
- on your forehead.
- Sure, you can.
4
00:00:16,551 --> 00:00:18,580
Yeah, if you want blood everywhere.
5
00:00:18,581 --> 00:00:20,690
Listen, hey, we're forgetting
the most important thing here.
6
00:00:20,691 --> 00:00:22,570
We're partying with Danny Poker tonight.
7
00:00:22,571 --> 00:00:23,700
- Do you know what that means?
- Strippers!
8
00:00:26,575 --> 00:00:27,741
Oh, dude, we're, like, in his squad now.
9
00:00:27,742 --> 00:00:29,510
We're going squad-deep
with Danny Poker.
10
00:00:29,511 --> 00:00:31,015
Squad goals accomplished.
11
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,456
Man, we are gonna drink our dicks off.
12
00:00:33,457 --> 00:00:35,435
'Sup, bitches?
13
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:37,385
Hey.
14
00:00:37,386 --> 00:00:38,386
Oh.
15
00:00:39,867 --> 00:00:41,866
Sweatpants to the strip club, huh?
16
00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:44,916
Damn it, I knew I should've
worn my Adidas nylons, man.
17
00:00:44,917 --> 00:00:46,476
You know, extra sensitivity.
18
00:00:46,501 --> 00:00:48,505
- I actually had them on.
- You did?
19
00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:51,293
But then I decided to
change to my cargo pants
20
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,317
'cause, you know, I
need all these pockets
21
00:00:53,318 --> 00:00:55,480
for all the extra
numbers I'm about to get.
22
00:00:55,481 --> 00:00:56,509
Yeah, boy.
23
00:00:56,510 --> 00:00:58,449
- Clyde, shoes.
- Oh, shit.
24
00:00:58,450 --> 00:00:59,539
Clyde, take your fucking shoes off, man.
25
00:00:59,540 --> 00:01:01,233
- Sorry. All right, guys.
- Hey, Danny, look.
26
00:01:01,234 --> 00:01:02,583
Brought two different types of beer.
27
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:03,644
I got these awesome old-school cans
28
00:01:03,669 --> 00:01:05,101
or you got these stupid old bottles.
29
00:01:05,102 --> 00:01:06,715
- Which one you want?
- Neither.
30
00:01:06,716 --> 00:01:08,694
I'm still getting over last night.
31
00:01:08,695 --> 00:01:10,379
Oh, really? Wow.
32
00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:11,549
- What were you drinking?
- Cocaine.
33
00:01:11,550 --> 00:01:13,279
- Oh.
- Oh.
34
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,198
In fact, no anything tonight.
35
00:01:16,199 --> 00:01:17,758
I've been going hard
for the past six months,
36
00:01:17,759 --> 00:01:20,275
so I just need a night to
flush these pipes out...
37
00:01:20,276 --> 00:01:21,613
my dick pipe, my leg pipes,
38
00:01:21,614 --> 00:01:23,155
- my stomach pipes and...
- Yeah.
39
00:01:23,180 --> 00:01:25,089
- Butt pipes, all that stuff.
- Sounds great.
40
00:01:25,090 --> 00:01:26,371
So maybe just a couple of girls.
41
00:01:26,372 --> 00:01:28,371
Yeah, one or two... one
for each of us or whatever.
42
00:01:29,004 --> 00:01:30,143
The reason I called you two
43
00:01:30,144 --> 00:01:32,779
is 'cause all 20 of my
go-tos are on the rag.
44
00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:34,522
I knew they were spending
too much time together.
45
00:01:34,523 --> 00:01:37,682
- Perils of an orgy.
- So tonight, super mellow.
46
00:01:38,418 --> 00:01:39,715
No drugs, no strippers.
47
00:01:39,716 --> 00:01:42,665
Just a quiet movie night.
48
00:01:42,666 --> 00:01:43,775
Yeah.
49
00:01:44,083 --> 00:01:46,112
Can we at least call it Boys' Night In?
50
00:01:46,113 --> 00:01:47,903
Oh.
51
00:01:49,013 --> 00:01:51,032
- Fine.
- Yes! Mm!
52
00:01:55,162 --> 00:01:58,415
- Synced and corrected by
hawken45 - - www.addic7ed.com -
53
00:02:26,478 --> 00:02:28,507
I can't marry you, Jim.
54
00:02:28,532 --> 00:02:30,611
I'm dying.
55
00:02:30,771 --> 00:02:32,731
I'm going to meet my god now.
56
00:02:34,209 --> 00:02:36,148
But you are my goddess, Diane.
57
00:02:36,220 --> 00:02:39,219
You.
58
00:02:39,244 --> 00:02:41,773
And my religion is loving you.
59
00:02:41,798 --> 00:02:43,727
Okay, we can have one beer!
60
00:02:43,819 --> 00:02:44,898
Here, have a little bit of mine.
61
00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:46,818
There you go and there you go.
62
00:02:46,819 --> 00:02:48,454
Here's to one beer.
63
00:02:48,455 --> 00:02:50,292
To show ourselves we can.
64
00:02:50,293 --> 00:02:51,651
- Yeah.
- Prove to myself
65
00:02:51,652 --> 00:02:52,840
that I don't have a problem.
66
00:02:52,841 --> 00:02:54,690
Here's to not drinking.
67
00:02:54,691 --> 00:02:56,720
Cheers.
68
00:03:12,631 --> 00:03:13,761
Oh, fuck.
69
00:03:22,751 --> 00:03:24,801
Ugh.
70
00:03:28,711 --> 00:03:30,650
Danny?
71
00:03:30,651 --> 00:03:32,790
- Did we, uh...
- Huh?
72
00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:35,413
Did we at least use protection?
73
00:03:36,034 --> 00:03:38,093
Jesus! Get dressed.
74
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:40,108
I don't wanna look at
your little Pokémon.
75
00:03:42,841 --> 00:03:44,790
Wait a second.
76
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:46,650
Wait, where's my diamond belt?
77
00:03:46,651 --> 00:03:48,840
I don't know. I don't know.
78
00:03:48,841 --> 00:03:51,650
We must've gone shopping
at some point last night
79
00:03:51,989 --> 00:03:53,168
'cause I seem to have picked up
80
00:03:53,169 --> 00:03:55,168
this rather fashionable white scarf,
81
00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:58,501
which I am rocking so hard right now.
82
00:03:58,502 --> 00:04:00,243
It's got a pretty distinct odor.
83
00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:03,511
But, hot Carl, do I
look good. Look at this.
84
00:04:03,512 --> 00:04:04,631
You don't seem to understand, all right?
85
00:04:04,632 --> 00:04:06,501
I'm missing my lucky belt
86
00:04:06,502 --> 00:04:07,611
and I'm dressed like fucking Claude.
87
00:04:07,612 --> 00:04:09,591
- Clyde.
- Who cares?
88
00:04:09,592 --> 00:04:11,521
Wait... wait a minute, you...
89
00:04:11,522 --> 00:04:12,641
you're literally wearing
Clyde's clothes right now?
90
00:04:12,642 --> 00:04:14,481
Yeah, either that or I went on a cruise
91
00:04:14,482 --> 00:04:15,591
to the gay Bahamas last night.
92
00:04:15,592 --> 00:04:16,994
What the fuck is Clyde wearing?
93
00:04:17,019 --> 00:04:19,599
Clyde! Hello!
94
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,599
He's around here naked
just like me. I can feel it.
95
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,559
Clyde, are you just
bumming around, buddy?
96
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:24,927
No, no, no, no, no, no!
97
00:04:24,952 --> 00:04:27,113
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, Danny.
98
00:04:27,138 --> 00:04:27,730
Danny, Danny, Clyde's not here,
99
00:04:27,731 --> 00:04:28,780
but his phone and his keys are.
100
00:04:28,781 --> 00:04:30,269
Oh, shit, he's not here.
101
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,289
Clyde's not here. Something's wrong.
102
00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:33,239
Clyde! Clyde!
103
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,229
Fuck. How the fuck did
we black out so hard?
104
00:04:35,230 --> 00:04:37,782
Hey! Danny Poker doesn't black out.
105
00:04:37,807 --> 00:04:38,956
Okay, then you can help.
106
00:04:38,957 --> 00:04:40,806
I just don't remember
anything right now.
107
00:04:41,479 --> 00:04:42,588
Look, we just need a clue.
108
00:04:42,589 --> 00:04:44,468
That's a good idea.
109
00:04:44,469 --> 00:04:46,448
- Shit.
- Just look for clues.
110
00:04:46,449 --> 00:04:47,619
Ah! Hey.
111
00:04:49,449 --> 00:04:50,722
I never forget a meal.
112
00:04:53,549 --> 00:04:55,458
That's Mongolian beef.
113
00:04:55,459 --> 00:04:57,438
Dude, that was in my ass.
114
00:04:57,439 --> 00:04:58,598
Tasted a little assy.
115
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,448
Shitzakaya.
116
00:05:00,449 --> 00:05:01,568
This must be where we ate last night.
117
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,469
Let's go.
118
00:05:04,629 --> 00:05:06,498
- Is that your beer?
- Nope.
119
00:05:06,618 --> 00:05:08,165
My beer's pretty quiet today.
120
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,053
- What the fuck?
- All right, that admittedly
121
00:05:12,054 --> 00:05:14,102
is a whole thing that we are
gonna have to deal with later,
122
00:05:14,127 --> 00:05:16,066
- okay?
- I'm not going anywhere!
123
00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:17,986
There's old-ass
strangers up in my place.
124
00:05:17,987 --> 00:05:19,126
Your belt.
125
00:05:19,127 --> 00:05:20,464
Oh, dear God. You're right.
126
00:05:20,465 --> 00:05:21,603
I almost forgot.
127
00:05:21,604 --> 00:05:23,564
- There's no time to waste.
- We'll be back.
128
00:05:27,977 --> 00:05:30,443
Danny, Pac-y, you're back!
129
00:05:30,468 --> 00:05:31,826
You know us?
130
00:05:32,891 --> 00:05:34,820
Uh,
131
00:05:34,821 --> 00:05:36,790
well, I really hope you know us
132
00:05:36,791 --> 00:05:37,950
'cause running up to a total stranger
133
00:05:37,951 --> 00:05:39,910
and sticking your tongue in
their mouth is kind of rude.
134
00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:42,750
And you're just keeping it there.
135
00:05:42,751 --> 00:05:43,810
Okay, wow. Even ruder.
136
00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:46,939
You guys were hilarious
last night, especially Clyde.
137
00:05:46,940 --> 00:05:49,299
Everyone here loves you.
138
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:51,812
And I love you, Danny Poker.
139
00:05:51,813 --> 00:05:53,144
That's... I'm so happy for you guys.
140
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:55,200
Did you say Clyde? Hi... hi, I'm sorry.
141
00:05:55,201 --> 00:05:56,417
- Did you say Clyde?
- Yes.
142
00:05:56,418 --> 00:05:58,720
Okay, so did we leave together?
143
00:05:58,745 --> 00:06:00,794
What were we doing? When was
the last time you saw him?
144
00:06:01,405 --> 00:06:04,332
You guys went downstairs and
that's the last I saw of him.
145
00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:05,402
Went downstairs? Okay.
146
00:06:05,403 --> 00:06:06,817
Where... where is downstairs from here?
147
00:06:06,842 --> 00:06:09,103
D... how long were we down there for?
148
00:06:09,128 --> 00:06:09,911
Where... where is exactly
149
00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:13,761
- is the downstairs?
- Dude! Go downstairs. Now!
150
00:06:13,762 --> 00:06:14,851
Okay. Is it down there?
151
00:06:39,902 --> 00:06:41,881
You look delicious.
152
00:06:41,882 --> 00:06:43,901
A...
153
00:06:43,902 --> 00:06:45,701
4.
154
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:08,802
Whoa.
155
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,691
Ugh.
156
00:07:41,692 --> 00:07:43,742
I knew you'd be back.
157
00:07:48,882 --> 00:07:50,642
Last night,
158
00:07:50,643 --> 00:07:53,582
on this very ring we stand now,
159
00:07:53,583 --> 00:07:55,582
I saw a fierce warrior.
160
00:07:55,583 --> 00:07:57,752
Never in my 40 years of training
161
00:07:57,753 --> 00:07:59,652
have I seen a fighter
162
00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:01,712
with so much potential
163
00:08:01,713 --> 00:08:03,782
and yet also so...
164
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:07,662
so, uh, drunk.
165
00:08:07,663 --> 00:08:10,642
You were tore up like, "Whoa."
166
00:08:10,643 --> 00:08:12,792
"Like whoa"? No, no. "Whoa!"
167
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,652
You're talking...
you're talking about me?
168
00:08:14,653 --> 00:08:16,672
- Mm.
- I was...
169
00:08:16,673 --> 00:08:18,802
- I was good?
- Not good.
170
00:08:18,803 --> 00:08:21,682
- Amazing.
- Yeah!
171
00:08:21,683 --> 00:08:23,782
I have dedicated my life
172
00:08:24,276 --> 00:08:26,305
to the ancient and rich tradition
173
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:29,244
of underground sumo fight club.
174
00:08:29,245 --> 00:08:31,264
- Right.
- But never
175
00:08:31,265 --> 00:08:33,174
have I trained a yokozuna.
176
00:08:33,175 --> 00:08:34,418
Yodazuda.
177
00:08:34,419 --> 00:08:35,518
After what I saw last night,
178
00:08:35,519 --> 00:08:38,418
you could be that fighter.
179
00:08:38,419 --> 00:08:39,618
Holy shit. Wait, wait!
180
00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:42,408
If you saw me here last
night, did you see my friend?
181
00:08:42,409 --> 00:08:44,434
- Did you see Clyde?
- Clyde?
182
00:08:44,435 --> 00:08:46,374
Yes, I saw him.
183
00:08:46,399 --> 00:08:48,123
And I saw him leave with the Yakuza.
184
00:08:48,148 --> 00:08:49,518
- The "Ya-kuza"?
- Yak-uza.
185
00:08:49,519 --> 00:08:51,568
- Ya-kuza.
- Ya-ku-za.
186
00:08:51,569 --> 00:08:54,478
- Ya-kuza!
- Hmm, nah.
187
00:08:54,479 --> 00:08:56,458
Yakuza.
188
00:08:56,459 --> 00:08:58,608
Oh, hey.
189
00:08:58,609 --> 00:09:00,508
- Ooh, feeling that.
- Danny, I did it.
190
00:09:00,509 --> 00:09:02,388
I did it, Danny. I found another clue.
191
00:09:02,389 --> 00:09:04,538
I found another clue.
Clyde is with the Yakuza.
192
00:09:04,539 --> 00:09:07,488
- If we find the Yakuza...
- We find my belt.
193
00:09:07,489 --> 00:09:08,498
Yes, exactly.
194
00:09:08,499 --> 00:09:10,418
Now, the question is
195
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,408
where to find the Yakuza.
196
00:09:12,409 --> 00:09:13,518
Yakuza?
197
00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:15,458
They conduct all their
business at Chillax,
198
00:09:15,459 --> 00:09:17,408
an authentic Japanese bathhouse.
199
00:09:17,409 --> 00:09:20,388
- Do they, now?
- Hey! I said both hands.
200
00:09:20,389 --> 00:09:21,548
Oh.
201
00:09:21,549 --> 00:09:23,438
Oh, thank you, thank
you, thank you, thank you.
202
00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:25,518
Thank you. Okay, Danny,
let's go, come on.
203
00:09:25,519 --> 00:09:28,398
- Just give me, uh, five, uh...
- Yeah, yeah.
204
00:09:28,399 --> 00:09:29,528
Yeah, take your time.
205
00:09:29,529 --> 00:09:31,448
- Oh, boy.
- Slow down.
206
00:09:31,449 --> 00:09:32,598
- There it is. Okay.
- Okay, good.
207
00:09:32,599 --> 00:09:34,458
- Good stuff.
- Hold on one second.
208
00:09:34,459 --> 00:09:35,618
Oh, yeah.
209
00:09:36,359 --> 00:09:38,118
Come on, Danny. Please,
let's fucking go! Come on.
210
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,098
God damn it. Don't
you fucking bark at me
211
00:09:40,099 --> 00:09:42,018
when I'm mid-bender.
212
00:09:42,019 --> 00:09:43,118
I wasn't interrupting you. I just...
213
00:09:43,119 --> 00:09:44,998
Can I have one for the road, babe?
214
00:09:44,999 --> 00:09:46,868
Thank you.
215
00:09:46,869 --> 00:09:49,263
Don't be fooled by the peaceful chimes.
216
00:09:49,264 --> 00:09:52,353
The Yakuza are some bad motherfuckers.
217
00:09:52,354 --> 00:09:54,293
Bad motherfuckers.
218
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,304
That's lovely.
219
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,829
Hi. Hi there.
220
00:10:00,004 --> 00:10:02,013
Um, we don't have a reservation,
221
00:10:02,038 --> 00:10:03,927
but do you take walk-ins?
222
00:10:05,008 --> 00:10:07,937
We're here to see a Mr. Yakuza.
223
00:10:07,938 --> 00:10:09,927
Also, I'm gonna have
to take a hangover shit
224
00:10:09,928 --> 00:10:11,047
in, like, 10 minutes.
225
00:10:13,332 --> 00:10:14,411
Which one is Mr. Yakuza?
226
00:10:14,412 --> 00:10:16,288
Okay.
227
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,337
Hey, man, I'm sorry I
snapped at you earlier.
228
00:10:20,338 --> 00:10:21,507
That was disrespectful of me.
229
00:10:21,508 --> 00:10:24,367
It's just, any time after I ejaculate,
230
00:10:24,368 --> 00:10:26,407
I'm just so angry, you know?
It just... 'cause, you know,
231
00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:28,327
I'm not getting sexed up anymore.
232
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,507
Yeah. No, you don't have
to apologize for that, man.
233
00:10:29,508 --> 00:10:31,397
You know, I get mad when
I'm not getting any, too.
234
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,457
Yeah, I feel like I'm mad all the time.
235
00:10:32,458 --> 00:10:34,337
Oh!
236
00:10:34,338 --> 00:10:35,517
I'm not hiding anything up there.
237
00:10:35,518 --> 00:10:39,417
Pac, Danny! Come, come.
238
00:10:39,418 --> 00:10:42,287
Take a chillax.
239
00:10:42,288 --> 00:10:43,497
You need girl?
240
00:10:43,498 --> 00:10:45,477
You need whiskey?
241
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,447
You need uni, huh?
242
00:10:47,448 --> 00:10:50,307
Tell Ohno. I get it for
you right here, right now.
243
00:10:50,308 --> 00:10:51,457
Oh, okay. Well, in that case,
244
00:10:51,458 --> 00:10:53,467
uh, we kind of need Clyde back.
245
00:10:53,468 --> 00:10:56,307
I'm sorry. That is one
wish I cannot make true.
246
00:10:56,308 --> 00:10:57,417
Why... why exactly is that
247
00:10:57,418 --> 00:10:59,287
the one wish that you can't make true?
248
00:10:59,288 --> 00:11:01,407
Because you lost him to me in a bet.
249
00:11:01,408 --> 00:11:02,467
What?
250
00:11:04,050 --> 00:11:06,119
The first rule of fat fight club
251
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,090
is nobody wants to talk about it.
252
00:11:10,089 --> 00:11:11,209
Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
253
00:11:12,190 --> 00:11:16,089
How about I'll bet any amount of money
254
00:11:16,664 --> 00:11:19,713
that my boy Pancake
whup this dude's ass.
255
00:11:19,738 --> 00:11:22,667
Pancake! Is that because I...
256
00:11:22,668 --> 00:11:23,857
is that 'cause I flatten people?
257
00:11:23,858 --> 00:11:25,787
No, it's 'cause you just tried
258
00:11:25,788 --> 00:11:28,657
to order blueberry pancakes
at a Japanese restaurant.
259
00:11:28,658 --> 00:11:29,767
- They're so delicious.
- Oh, do me! Do me!
260
00:11:29,768 --> 00:11:31,717
I want a nickname.
261
00:11:31,718 --> 00:11:32,747
No.
262
00:11:32,748 --> 00:11:33,817
What do you say?
263
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,667
You want in on this action, hmm?
264
00:11:36,668 --> 00:11:38,877
Cash bets bore me.
265
00:11:38,878 --> 00:11:41,227
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo!
266
00:11:41,228 --> 00:11:42,327
Okay.
267
00:11:42,914 --> 00:11:44,873
That... I bet this dude.
268
00:11:44,874 --> 00:11:46,843
You bet Clyde to the Yakuza?
269
00:11:46,844 --> 00:11:48,043
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
270
00:11:48,044 --> 00:11:49,983
- Don't put this on me.
- Uh!
271
00:11:49,984 --> 00:11:51,953
From the sounds of it, you were
supposed to be a sure thing.
272
00:11:51,954 --> 00:11:53,909
Oh, my God. Holy shit.
273
00:11:53,910 --> 00:11:55,315
Oh, my God, you're right.
274
00:11:55,316 --> 00:11:56,415
I'm responsible.
275
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,305
I lost the fight. I lost my friend!
276
00:11:58,306 --> 00:11:59,395
Oh, no.
277
00:11:59,396 --> 00:12:00,505
You won the fight.
278
00:12:00,506 --> 00:12:02,921
- I did?
- Yes.
279
00:12:02,946 --> 00:12:06,368
- Well...
- Danny here bet on other guy.
280
00:12:06,369 --> 00:12:08,438
Changed his mind at last minute.
281
00:12:10,359 --> 00:12:12,408
You can see why I'd do that.
282
00:12:12,409 --> 00:12:13,488
I mean, come on.
283
00:12:13,489 --> 00:12:15,488
What?
284
00:12:15,489 --> 00:12:17,588
Hey! Now we're talkin'!
285
00:12:17,589 --> 00:12:19,468
All right. But, hey,
286
00:12:19,878 --> 00:12:21,947
cheers to you for
winning the fight, buddy.
287
00:12:21,972 --> 00:12:23,831
- Good job!
- Kanpai.
288
00:12:23,832 --> 00:12:25,237
Get 'em up. Get 'em up, up, up, up!
289
00:12:25,238 --> 00:12:26,257
Okay, well, w-where is he?
290
00:12:26,258 --> 00:12:27,346
Is he safe? Is he okay?
291
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:31,262
Let's just say Clyde is just fine.
292
00:12:34,966 --> 00:12:36,084
That doesn't make me feel very good.
293
00:12:36,085 --> 00:12:38,124
Oh, listen. Okay, how
do we get my clothes...
294
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,034
- Clyde back?
- Clyde.
295
00:12:40,035 --> 00:12:42,104
- I don't need your money.
- You don't?
296
00:12:42,105 --> 00:12:44,074
Okay, great. Good place to start.
297
00:12:44,075 --> 00:12:45,763
So why don't you just go
ahead and give him back to us
298
00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,752
like a... like a gift? Like a regift.
299
00:12:47,754 --> 00:12:50,833
The only way you get
Clyde back is by fighting.
300
00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:55,673
You lost him in a fight,
you win him back in a fight.
301
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:56,936
Double or nothing.
302
00:12:56,961 --> 00:12:58,000
Okay.
303
00:12:58,025 --> 00:12:59,074
I'm in.
304
00:12:59,714 --> 00:13:00,853
What's double or nothing?
305
00:13:00,854 --> 00:13:03,435
You win, you get your friend.
306
00:13:03,436 --> 00:13:06,405
I win,
307
00:13:07,213 --> 00:13:09,363
I get you, big baby.
308
00:13:11,729 --> 00:13:13,007
He does look like a baby.
309
00:13:13,008 --> 00:13:15,903
Yeah. Yeah, a big baby
that's gonna kick some ass.
310
00:13:16,205 --> 00:13:18,184
Sounds like I was
pounding ass last night
311
00:13:18,185 --> 00:13:20,094
- left, right, and center.
- Bro, that doesn't...
312
00:13:20,095 --> 00:13:21,254
I don't think that's
what you were doing.
313
00:13:21,255 --> 00:13:23,154
Okay, so I'll beat whoever
the fuck I have to beat
314
00:13:23,155 --> 00:13:24,234
- to get him back.
- I was hoping
315
00:13:24,235 --> 00:13:25,702
you would say that.
316
00:13:25,703 --> 00:13:28,742
I would like you to
meet my grand champion.
317
00:13:28,743 --> 00:13:30,712
Yokozuna!
318
00:13:30,713 --> 00:13:32,722
More like Yoko-who-na. Pfft.
319
00:13:32,723 --> 00:13:33,793
I got this.
320
00:13:41,623 --> 00:13:42,623
I don't got this.
321
00:13:44,773 --> 00:13:46,802
That Yoko Ono dude is gonna crush you.
322
00:13:46,803 --> 00:13:48,524
Really?
323
00:13:48,525 --> 00:13:50,248
Don't worry, don't worry.
It's gonna be very funny.
324
00:13:50,249 --> 00:13:51,901
- Okay. Okay, well...
- I can't wait.
325
00:13:51,926 --> 00:13:53,430
Thanks, Danny. You know,
your support on this
326
00:13:53,431 --> 00:13:54,490
means the world to
me. You're just, like,
327
00:13:54,491 --> 00:13:55,771
a real champion, you know?
328
00:13:55,796 --> 00:13:57,735
You're really, really solid, bro.
329
00:13:57,736 --> 00:14:00,625
- Thanks.
- Oh, Jesus!
330
00:14:00,626 --> 00:14:01,675
- Whoa.
- That bartender
331
00:14:01,676 --> 00:14:02,695
just Snap'd me her snatch.
332
00:14:02,696 --> 00:14:04,595
- That's her snatch?
- Oh!
333
00:14:04,596 --> 00:14:06,695
I'm so horned up right now. God damn it!
334
00:14:06,696 --> 00:14:08,765
God, I don't know what I
did to deserve this woman.
335
00:14:08,766 --> 00:14:11,605
- She is amazing.
- I'm so horny for you, Danny.
336
00:14:11,606 --> 00:14:13,635
I'm hap... happy for you.
337
00:14:13,636 --> 00:14:15,625
I'm sorry. It's just, you
know, you found something real,
338
00:14:15,626 --> 00:14:18,174
- something genuine there.
- Ay, chi-mami!
339
00:14:18,175 --> 00:14:20,901
It's just, you know, if I'm scared,
imagine how poor Clyde is feeling.
340
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:22,540
He's not one of the
strong ones like us, Danny.
341
00:14:22,541 --> 00:14:24,630
We're the pillars of the
community, you know what I mean?
342
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:25,650
If I know Clyde like I think I do,
343
00:14:25,651 --> 00:14:27,510
he's fucking terrified.
344
00:14:27,511 --> 00:14:28,550
You like your bah-bah?
345
00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:31,490
Yeah? You like your bah-bah?
346
00:14:31,491 --> 00:14:33,490
You like that Papa Clyde
347
00:14:33,491 --> 00:14:35,490
is giving you your bah-bah?
348
00:14:35,491 --> 00:14:36,690
You want some bubbles? Yeah?
349
00:14:36,691 --> 00:14:38,680
Oh, yeah, you want Papa Clyde
350
00:14:38,681 --> 00:14:41,480
to go in there and get some bubbles
351
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,132
'cause Papa Clyde loves
you berry, berry much.
352
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,188
We gotta make sure we
don't get your di-di wet.
353
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:49,367
We can't get your di-di
wet. Here, let me move this.
354
00:14:50,446 --> 00:14:51,317
What the fuck is this?
355
00:14:52,302 --> 00:14:53,177
This feels like sandpaper.
356
00:14:53,178 --> 00:14:56,177
Hey, buddy-boy, is this
comfortable for you?
357
00:14:56,585 --> 00:14:57,714
I didn't think so. I can't have
358
00:14:57,739 --> 00:15:00,658
my buddy-boy's balls tucked in 40 grit.
359
00:15:00,659 --> 00:15:02,629
Let me take care of
this. I'll be right back.
360
00:15:06,689 --> 00:15:08,678
Hey, Coach.
361
00:15:08,679 --> 00:15:09,689
Put me in.
362
00:15:10,749 --> 00:15:12,768
Make me a champion.
363
00:15:12,769 --> 00:15:14,708
Sorry.
364
00:15:14,709 --> 00:15:16,738
- No can do.
- What?! Why?
365
00:15:16,739 --> 00:15:18,084
I'm in a pickle here.
366
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,738
I only make grand champion.
367
00:15:20,739 --> 00:15:22,345
First two weeks,
368
00:15:22,346 --> 00:15:24,834
we break down what type of man you are.
369
00:15:24,859 --> 00:15:26,838
Next two months, we learn...
370
00:15:26,839 --> 00:15:28,869
Actually, the fight is tonight.
371
00:15:31,749 --> 00:15:32,928
We have to skip a lot.
372
00:15:32,929 --> 00:15:34,848
- Sure, sure.
- Tonight, really?
373
00:15:34,849 --> 00:15:35,948
Yeah, in, like, four hours.
374
00:15:35,949 --> 00:15:39,878
Huh, well, we should really begin.
375
00:15:39,879 --> 00:15:41,518
Prepare yourself
376
00:15:41,519 --> 00:15:44,587
for the most intense
training in your life.
377
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:55,487
In sumo, fat equals muscle.
378
00:16:07,688 --> 00:16:10,708
I can't eat any more. Mm.
379
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:19,597
In sumo, sleep is cardio.
380
00:16:33,698 --> 00:16:36,627
Oh!
381
00:16:38,638 --> 00:16:40,567
You're ready.
382
00:16:40,568 --> 00:16:42,597
Yes, I am.
383
00:16:55,698 --> 00:16:59,597
Out there is opportunity.
384
00:16:59,598 --> 00:17:03,477
In here is chocolate chip cookie dough.
385
00:17:03,478 --> 00:17:06,957
In here is a ninth grade reading level.
386
00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:08,951
- Seventh grade.
- Even better.
387
00:17:08,953 --> 00:17:10,962
- Yeah.
- Opportunity.
388
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,476
Chocolate chip cookie dough.
389
00:17:12,477 --> 00:17:14,475
- Ninth grade reading level.
- Seventh grade.
390
00:17:14,476 --> 00:17:18,595
This is where the rubber meets the road.
391
00:17:31,161 --> 00:17:33,130
Oh, shit. Time-out.
392
00:17:33,230 --> 00:17:34,575
Time-out. I got it in my eyes.
393
00:17:34,576 --> 00:17:36,595
On my right...
394
00:17:36,596 --> 00:17:39,575
winner of the Emperor's Cup
395
00:17:39,576 --> 00:17:41,585
six years running,
396
00:17:41,586 --> 00:17:46,475
the mighty Yokozuna!
397
00:17:46,476 --> 00:17:48,525
Boo!
398
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,595
Nothing! He ain't got shit.
399
00:17:50,596 --> 00:17:52,555
On my left...
400
00:17:52,556 --> 00:17:55,525
- Pac!
- Pancake!
401
00:17:55,526 --> 00:17:57,474
No, come on. No, don't call me that.
402
00:17:57,475 --> 00:18:00,075
- Come on, man.
- All right, you know the deal.
403
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:02,567
Actually, a quick
refresher if you don't mind.
404
00:18:02,766 --> 00:18:03,515
Three rounds,
405
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,575
nothing touches sand but
the soles of your feet,
406
00:18:05,576 --> 00:18:07,595
- and stay in the circle.
- Oh, yeah.
407
00:18:07,596 --> 00:18:09,485
Piece of pancake.
408
00:18:13,332 --> 00:18:15,331
Seize your opportunity.
409
00:18:15,356 --> 00:18:17,366
You are a natural, Pac.
410
00:18:20,409 --> 00:18:21,508
Is this it?
411
00:18:21,771 --> 00:18:23,750
We just stare at each other?
412
00:18:24,276 --> 00:18:25,375
- For how long?
- Hai!
413
00:18:25,376 --> 00:18:27,265
Oh, shit!
414
00:18:31,296 --> 00:18:32,404
The fuck?
415
00:18:32,405 --> 00:18:33,524
Relax.
416
00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:36,133
Remember your training.
417
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:37,509
I just slept and ate a bunch.
418
00:18:37,510 --> 00:18:39,149
You said I was a fucking natural.
419
00:18:39,174 --> 00:18:40,468
Oh.
420
00:18:40,469 --> 00:18:41,509
I was wrong.
421
00:18:58,459 --> 00:18:59,489
Oh, Clyde!
422
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:04,618
Okay?
423
00:19:04,619 --> 00:19:06,439
Yeah!
424
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:11,489
Yes!
425
00:19:16,629 --> 00:19:18,439
Shit.
426
00:19:20,479 --> 00:19:23,498
Pancake! Pancake!
427
00:19:23,499 --> 00:19:26,488
Pancake! Pancake!
428
00:19:26,489 --> 00:19:28,438
I love you, Pancake!
429
00:19:28,439 --> 00:19:30,469
Pancake! Pancake!
430
00:19:39,619 --> 00:19:41,478
Oh!
431
00:19:52,589 --> 00:19:54,438
Shit!
432
00:20:11,549 --> 00:20:14,479
No!
433
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,438
Yeah!
434
00:20:23,599 --> 00:20:27,478
Oh, that's why the loincloth
was so rough and thick.
435
00:20:27,479 --> 00:20:29,628
They should really
specify no fabric softener.
436
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:34,364
Your new grand champion of the world!
437
00:20:34,404 --> 00:20:36,303
Pancake!
438
00:20:36,304 --> 00:20:37,493
No, no, no, no. Not Pancake.
439
00:20:37,494 --> 00:20:39,593
Pac, Pac, Pac, Pac!
440
00:20:48,564 --> 00:20:50,563
- Pac!
- Dude!
441
00:20:50,564 --> 00:20:51,623
- Yo!
- Dude!
442
00:20:51,624 --> 00:20:53,483
Shit, Clyde, you believe it?
443
00:20:53,484 --> 00:20:54,543
I beat that big son of a bitch, man!
444
00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:56,523
- I did it! I saved you.
- Oh, my God!
445
00:20:56,524 --> 00:20:58,633
- My belt!
- Oh!
446
00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:00,693
- Oh, my belt!
- Oh.
447
00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:03,574
I missed you so much.
448
00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:11,523
Pancake back in the house!
449
00:21:11,524 --> 00:21:13,386
Know what, I still don't
know if I love that nickname.
450
00:21:13,387 --> 00:21:14,845
- It's, uh...
- Wait, wait.
451
00:21:14,846 --> 00:21:15,945
One thing I'm still confused about
452
00:21:15,946 --> 00:21:17,985
is how did we end up switching clothes?
453
00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:20,825
Well, you were convinced
if we switched clothes,
454
00:21:20,826 --> 00:21:22,965
we can also switch bodies
like in "Freaky Friday."
455
00:21:22,966 --> 00:21:24,815
You just went on and on about that.
456
00:21:24,816 --> 00:21:25,935
What?
457
00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,955
Man, I must've been fucked up!
458
00:21:27,956 --> 00:21:29,865
Yeah-yer!
459
00:21:29,866 --> 00:21:32,755
To think I'd want that
baby dump of a body.
460
00:21:33,846 --> 00:21:34,895
Wait, Clyde, I don't understand.
461
00:21:34,896 --> 00:21:35,915
How do you remember all that?
462
00:21:35,916 --> 00:21:36,935
I wasn't drunk.
463
00:21:36,936 --> 00:21:38,350
I mean, we said one beer, right?
464
00:21:38,351 --> 00:21:39,430
We even toasted to one beer.
465
00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:40,510
A toast is sacred.
466
00:21:40,899 --> 00:21:41,908
What?
467
00:21:42,025 --> 00:21:44,854
We got shit-faced.
468
00:21:44,855 --> 00:21:47,044
Who the fuck are these people?
469
00:21:47,045 --> 00:21:49,954
Mom, Dad! Oh!
470
00:21:49,955 --> 00:21:51,427
Oh.
471
00:21:51,428 --> 00:21:53,437
Thank you for letting them move in.
472
00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:55,457
So kind of you, Daniel.
473
00:21:55,458 --> 00:21:58,678
He's just the kind of guy I
wanna marry and settle down with.
32318
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