Original subtitles

Both: 16, 17, 18, 19, 20!

READY OR NOT.

HERE WE COME.

WHERE IS SHE?

BOO! [ LAUGHS ] [ BOTH SCREAM ]

WHAT, DID YOU GUYS THINK I DISAPPEARED OR SOMETHING? Boy: UH-HUH.

ALL RIGHT, ARE YOU READY FOR A DEADTIME STORY?

YEAH, WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR US THIS TIME?

THIS ONE IS CALLED "THE LITTLE MAGIC SHOP OF HORRORS."

DOES IT HAVE MAGIC? YEP.

WHAT KIND OF MAGIC? TERRIFYING MAGIC.

THE KIND THAT PETER AND HIS BEST FRIEND, BO,

COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO UNDO.

WELL, NOT WITHOUT LOSING THEIR HEADS, ANYWAY.

[ GASPS ]

ARE YOU GUYS READY TO BE SCARED? UH-HUH.

OKAY.

CHAPTER ONE.

"PETER NEWMAN TWISTED IN HIS SEAT,

"SQUIRMING IN UNBEARABLE PAIN.

"HE HAD HIS HANDS HELD TIGHTLY OVER HIS EARS.

STILL, HE COULDN'T ESCAPE THE BLOOD-CURDLING SOUND."

[ BAGPIPE MUSIC PLAYING ] THIS IS MUSIC?

IT SOUNDS LIKE CATS BEING SLAUGHTERED.

WHAT KIND OF DWEEB PLAYS THE BAGPIPES?

[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]

GERALD McDOUGAL AND HIS McBAGPIPES

ARE THE WORST ACT YET.

HEY, THE KID GOT GUTS. AAH.

NO TALENT, BUT A WHOLE LOT OF GUTS.

THANKS, MAN.

DON'T THROW THE GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR.

WE'RE GONNA GET IN TROUBLE.

WE'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE EATING HERE, ANYWAY.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. NOBODY'S EVEN WATCHING US.

Bob: DON'T BANK ON IT.

NO EATING IN THE AUDITORIUM.

THAT'S STRIKE TWO.

[ GASPS ] STRIKE TWO? HOW COULD IT BE STRIKE TWO?

WE DON'T EVEN HAVE STRIKE ONE YET.

THEN WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME

WHO DREW THE PICTURE OF MRS. DINGLEMAN WITH A MUSTACHE

IN THE BOYS' ROOM LAST WEEK?

ONE MORE STRIKE... AND YOU'RE OUT.

NO WAY JANITOR BOB KNEW WE DREW THAT PICTURE.

MAN, WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET THREE STRIKES?

I DON'T KNOW.

NOBODY'S EVER GOTTEN THREE STRIKES BEFORE.

AT LEAST, NOBODY WHO LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT.

I GUESS HE JUST DRAGS YOU DOWN TO HIS BASEMENT OFFICE

AND BURIES YOU.

DON'T DROP ANY MORE WRAPPERS.

Woman: NUMBER 12, MARY-MARGARET.

OH, PUKE. IT'S MARY-MARGARET MAHONEY.

I HATE THAT GIRL.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

SHE'S ALWAYS TRYING TO GET ME IN TROUBLE.

AND SHE THINKS SHE'S SUCH HOT STUFF EVER SINCE SHE WON

THAT STUPID BEAUTY PAGEANT WITH THAT STUPID BATON.

SHE DIDN'T WIN IT WITH HER FACE, THAT'S FOR SURE.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

YOU KNOW, THERE'S NO POINT

IN ANYONE ELSE EVEN TRYING OUT FOR THIS COMPETITION.

ALL THE TEACHERS ARE GONNA VOTE FOR MARY-MARGARET,

JUST LIKE THEY ALWAYS DO.

NOT IF WE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

WATCH.

Mary-Margaret: OW! NICE SHOT.

[ SCREAMING ] OHH!

OH, MY HEAVENS.

HOW THE HECK DID HE GET THERE SO FAST?

HE JUST WENT OUT THE BACK DOOR. MAYBE HE TELEPORTED.

HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU EVEN GET HERE SO FAST?

YOU'RE AMAZING.

NICE OF YOU TO SAY SO.

OW, OW! MOMMY. OH!

OHH. OKAY.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE PSYCHO BOB CATCHES US.

[ EERIE MUSIC PLAYS ]

♪ WHEN YOU HEAR THE SCREAM ♪

AAH!

♪ HIDE UNDER THE BLANKET ♪

♪ DON'T COME OUT ♪

♪ IT'S NOT A DREAM ♪

♪ DON'T YOU SLEEP ♪

♪ THIS IS YOUR NIGHTMARE NOW ♪

[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS ] COME ON, LET'S GO!

YEAH.

THAT'S IT!

I'M DONE PLAYING GAMES WITH THE TWO OF YOU.

LET'S HAVE A CHAT IN MY OFFICE.

NOW, YOU TWO CARROT-SHOOTING PRANKSTERS

PUT YOUR BUTTS IN THOSE CHAIRS AND DON'T SAY A WORD.

NOW, WHERE IS THAT THING?

[ BOTH GASP ]

DARN IT.

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT MOVING FROM THOSE CHAIRS. MM-HMM. MM-HMM.

WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

I DON'T WANT TO END UP WITH AN "X" THROUGH MY FACE.

LET'S GO. [ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

Maybe it's the police. Oh.

BOB HERE.

YES, MRS. DINGLEMAN.

I CAN CERTAINLY PICK UP THE MOUNTAIN BIKES FOR THE WINNER

OF THE TALENT SHOW FROM THE BIKE STORE IN THE MORNING.

I'D BE HAPPY TO DO IT.

THE WINNER OF THE TALENT SHOW GETS MOUNTAIN BIKES?

YOU HAVE A LOVELY EVENING, TOO, DEAR.

NOW, WHERE WERE WE?

[ GULPS ]

HEY, I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL SATURDAY

TO BE KILLED BY JANITOR BOB.

I SAY WE JUST DON'T GO.

ARE YOU NUTS?

IF WE DON'T GO, HE'LL COME LOOKING FOR US.

MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST TELL MRS. DINGLEMAN WHAT HAPPENED OURSELVES.

NO WAY.

SHE'LL CALL MY PARENTS,

AND THEY'LL KILL ME EVEN WORSE THAN JANITOR BOB.

YOUR PARENTS ARE AWAY,

SO IF THE SCHOOL CALLED GRANDMA GRUSSLER,

SHE WOULDN'T EVEN REMEMBER IT.

PAULIE, IS THAT YOU, DEAR?

NO, GRAM, IT'S ME, PETER.

WHO'S PAULIE?

MY UNCLE. SHE'S ALWAYS CALLING ME THAT.

TIGER.

TIGER, I'VE GOT SOME YUM-YUMS FOR YOU.

TIGER? WHY IS SHE FEEDING THE CAT DOGGIE BISCUITS?

HI, GRANDMA. OH.

YOU REMEMBER BO, DON'T YOU?

OH, SURE, I REMEMBER. YOU'RE SONNY'S LITTLE FRIEND.

SO, HOW WAS SCHOOL FOR MY FAVORITE GRANDSON TODAY?

ANYTHING EXCITING HAPPEN?

NOPE. NOT REALLY, GRANDMA.

JUST THAT WE ALMOST KILLED THE VICE PRINCIPAL.

WHAT? WHO GOT KILLED?

NO ONE, GRANDMA. BO'S JUST MESSING AROUND.

OH. THANK HEAVEN FOR THAT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE MARY-MARGARET'S GONNA WIN THOSE MOUNTAIN BIKES.

IT STINKS, HUH? YEAH.

WE SHOULD ENTER THAT TALENT SHOW.

AND DO WHAT, BURP THE ALPHABET?

[ SNIFFS ] UH, GRANDMA?

I THINK THE OVEN'S ON FIRE!

WHAT?! OH, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I FOLLOWED EVERY WORD OF THOSE INSTRUCTIONS.

EASY, MY BUTT.

OH, OH! [ BLOWS ]

YOU HAVE TO BE A MAGICIAN TO BAKE ONE OF THESE THINGS. [ SMOKE ALARM RINGING ]

[ GASPS ] A MAGIC ACT!

YOU AND I ARE GONNA WIN A COUPLE OF MOUNTAIN BIKES, BUDDY.

Bo: HOW?

I'M TELLING YOU, THERE'S NO MAGIC SHOP HERE.

WE'VE BEEN UP AND DOWN THIS STREET A MILLION TIMES.

THERE'S NO SUCH PLACE AS 1334 3/4 NOSUCH PLACE.

IT'S GOT TO BE HERE SOMEWHERE.

FORGET IT. I QUIT.

I DON'T WANT A MOUNTAIN BIKE THIS BAD.

UH, BO?

NO WAY THAT WAS HERE 10 MINUTES AGO.

WHO WOULD PUT A STORE BACK HERE?

HELLO?

IS ANYBODY HERE?

[ DOOR SLAMS ]

[ GASPS ]

[ BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY ]

YOU THINK HE'S THE OWNER?

[ LAUGHS ] CHECK OUT HIS EYEBALLS.

DEFINITELY COOL.

CHECK IT OUT!

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE BOXES YOU CAN STICK BLADES THROUGH

AND CHOP PEOPLE'S HEADS OFF AND STUFF.

AND THIS ONE? PROBABLY DISAPPEARING BOX.

COUNT TO 20, THEN OPEN THE DOOR.

I'LL BE GONE.

[ DOOR CREAKS ]

12, 13 --

FORGET IT. IT DOESN'T WORK.

[ BOTH SCREAM ]

[ BOTH SCREAMING ]

[ BELL RINGS ]

[ SCREAMS ] CALM DOWN, BOYS!

IT'S A TRICK!

I'M NOT GOING TO HURT YOU.

CRAZY MERLIN.

[ CLEARS THROAT ] WELCOME TO MY LITTLE MAGIC SHOP OF HORRORS.

HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

AH, MAGIC.

OH, AND I ALWAYS KEEP MY EYES

ON EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING ON IN MY STORE.

YOU SEE?

MY EYES.

[ BOTH GASP ]

THAT'S WHAT I CALL AN OPTICAL ILLUSION. [ BOTH LAUGH ]

HOW DID HE DO THAT?

WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT PETER AND BO WANTED TO KNOW.

"'SORRY, KIDS,' CRAZY MERLIN ANSWERED.

I COULDN'T POSSIBLY..."

I CAN'T SHOW YOU THAT TRICK.

NO, YOU SEE, ONLY MASTER MAGICIANS

CAN PERFORM THE SEEING-EYEBALL TRICK.

IT TAKES YEARS OF PRACTICE.

BUT WE DON'T GOT YEARS OF PRACTICE.

WE GOT THREE DAYS TO COME UP WITH A MAGIC ACT FOR SCHOOL.

NO PROBLEM. I HAVE EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED.

[ GASPS ]

WHERE IS HE? WHERE DID HE GO?

OVER HERE.

[ BOTH GASP ] MY APOLOGIES.

I HAD TO STEP INTO MY OFFICE FOR A MOMENT.

THIS GUY'S GOOD. [ CHUCKLES ]

SO HERE IT IS.

THIS IS A MAGICIAN'S STARTER KIT.

FIRST, WE HAVE THE MAGICIAN'S WAND.

NOW, IT'S THE WAND THAT DIRECTS THE MAGICIAN'S POWER.

NEXT, THE MAGICIAN'S RING.

[ TWINKLE! ]

IT'S THE RING THAT BESTOWS THE POWER ON WHOEVER WEARS IT.

[ TWINKLE! ]

[ CHUCKLES ] LOOKS NICE.

AND LAST, BUT BY NO MEANS LEAST,

A MAGICIAN'S AMULET.

NOW, IT'S THE AMULET THAT PROTECTS THE MAGICIAN,

ENSURING THAT ALL HIS COMMANDS ARE FOLLOWED EXACTLY.

THAT'S IT? THAT'S THE MAGICIAN'S STARTER KIT?

WE WERE KIND OF HOPING FOR SOME SCARY TRICKS.

NAH. SCARY TRICKS ARE NO GOOD.

WHY NOT?

OH, BECAUSE...

HORRIFYING TRICKS ARE SO MUCH BETTER!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

Bo: I CAN'T BELIEVE CRAZY MERLIN GAVE US

ALL THIS STUFF FOR $9.95.

THAT'S PROBABLY WHY THEY CALL HIM CRAZY.

ALL I KNOW IS THAT THIS BOX OF DEATH

IS GONNA WIN US THOSE MOUNTAIN BIKES.

TOO BAD WE'RE ONLY GONNA GET TO RIDE 'EM FOR A DAY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

Bo: JANITOR BOB IS GONNA KILL US ON SATURDAY, REMEMBER?

STOP WORRYING ABOUT JANITOR BOB.

I JUST WANT TO SEE MARY-MARGARET'S FACE

WHEN SHE WATCHES US WIN.

TIGER? TIGER, WHERE ARE YOU, YOU LITTLE MOUSE MANGLER?

WHAT'S THE MATTER, GRANDMA?

AND WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU HAVE HERE, A COFFIN?

NO, GRANDMA, IT'S A BOX OF DEATH FOR OUR MAGIC ACT.

MAGIC ACT? I USED TO BE A MAGICIAN'S ASSISTANT.

GREAT. GREAT.

I'M TELLING YOU BOYS,

I USED TO WORK WITH HARRY HOUDINI.

WAS THAT BEFORE OR AFTER YOU FLEW FIGHTER JETS, GRANDMA?

BEFORE, I THINK.

NOW LOCK ME UP AND SLICE ME WITH THOSE BLADES.

I THINK WE OUGHT TO PRACTICE FIRST, GRANDMA.

THE BLADES COLLAPSE, SONNY. THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

[ BEEPING ]

OH, THE BOX OF DEATH IS GONNA HAVE TO WAIT.

"GLOBAL GLADIATORS" IS ABOUT TO START,

AND THIS GIANT WOMAN FROM OMAHA

IS WRESTLING THIS PIP-SQUEAK FROM POUGHKEEPSIE.

I'VE WAITED ALL AFTERNOON TO SEE HER GET CREAMED.

I CAN'T BELIEVE GRANDMA GRUSSLER WATCHES "GLOBAL GLADIATORS."

MY GRANDMA WATCHES SOAP OPERAS.

SHE IS NOWHERE NEAR AS COOL AS GRANDMA GRUSSLER.

OR AS NUTS. TRUE.

WHY WON'T THESE STUPID BLADES COLLAPSE?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT GOOD THING WE DIDN'T

START SLICING GRANDMA GRUSSLER WITH THEM.

I KNOW. WHAT?

WE CAN PRACTICE ON BLOW-UP MAN.

DON'T WORRY, BLOW-UP MAN. IT'S MAGIC.

READY?

[ AIR HISSING ]

FORGET IT! I QUIT!

YOU CAN'T QUIT. I NEED AN ASSISTANT.

[ TIGER MEOWING ]

THERE. THERE'S YOUR ASSISTANT.

OKAY.

WAIT A MINUTE. ARE WE SURE ABOUT THIS?

OH, GOSH, WHERE THE HECK IS TIGER?

MAYBE IT'S A DISAPPEARING BOX, TOO.

[ SIGHS ]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M GONNA TRY THE MAGIC WAND.

SERIOUSLY? IT CAN'T HURT.

ABRACADABRA, MAKE TIGER APPEAR!

[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]

[ BOX OPENS ]

TIGER?

[ GASPS ] OH, MY GOSH!

TIGER?

[ TIGER MEOWS ]

NO WAY. UH-HUH.

"THE TIGER JUMPED OUT OF THE BOX... [ GASPS ]

"...AND LANDED NOSE-TO-NOSE WITH PETER.

"PETER WAS SURE HE WAS ABOUT TO BE EATEN,

"BUT INSTEAD OF SINKING HIS ENORMOUS FANGS INTO PETER,

"THE TIGER LICKED PETER'S FACE

WITH HIS HUGE SANDPAPER TONGUE, INSTEAD."

IT'S TIGER THE TIGER, ISN'T IT?

"PETER AND BO SPENT THE NEXT FEW HOURS WAVING THE WAND AT TIGER,

"BUT HE DIDN'T SHRINK AN INCH,

"SO THEY DECIDED TO KEEP HIM HIDDEN IN THE GARAGE

"TILL THEY COULD FIGURE OUT HOW TO FIX HIM.

THE NEXT MORNING..."

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A MAGIC WAND?

PRACTICING. BO AND I ARE ENTERING THE TALENT COMPETITION.

[ LAUGHING ] YOU AND BO DON'T HAVE ANY TALENT.

AND THAT LITTLE STICK ISN'T GONNA HELP YOU.

[ GIGGLES ] SHUT IT, MARY-MARGARET!

[ TWINKLE! ]

[ NO AUDIO ]

YOU'RE OKAY, MARY-MARGARET, COME WITH ME.

I KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO.

HMM.

HEY, LOOKS LIKE THE MAGIC WAND IS WORKING AGAIN.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE WAVED IT AT JANITOR BOB

TO MAKE HIM DISAPPEAR. FOR REAL.

I JUST HOPE HE DOESN'T KNOW IT'S OUR FAULT

THAT MARY-MARGARET LOST HER VOICE.

DID GRANDMA GRUSSLER ASK ABOUT TIGER?

NO, SHE STILL THINKS HE'S OUT MOUSING.

DID YOU FEED HIM?

UNH-UNH. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

THAT CAT'S GOT TO BE STARVING TO DEATH.

AND IF HE GETS OUT OF THE GARAGE,

HE'S GONNA BE HUNTING FOR SOMETHING BIGGER THAN MICE. [ GASPS ]

TIGERS EAT ZEBRAS, YOU KNOW.

UH-OH. UH-OH.

BOXER!

BOXER!

HAVE EITHER OF YOU BOYS SEEN BOXER?

I LEFT HIM IN THE BACKYARD, BUT HE MUST HAVE GOTTEN OUT.

BOXER'S YOUR GREAT DANE, RIGHT?

YEAH, YEAH.

AND ISN'T HE ABOUT THE SIZE OF A ZEBRA?

WELL, NOT QUITE, BUT HE IS PRETTY BIG.

LET ME KNOW IF YOU SEE HIM, OKAY?

SURE THING, MRS. FOXWORTHY.

I'M TELLING YOU, WE GOT TO CALL ANIMAL CONTROL.

BOXER!

WHEN TIGER POOPS OUT THAT DOG, HE'S GONNA BE HUNGRY AGAIN.

ALL RIGHT, ALREADY.

UH-OH.

SOMETHING TELLS ME THAT'S WHAT'S LEFT OF THE GREAT DANE.

[ GASPS ]

THAT MEANS TIGER'S IN THE HOUSE WITH GRANDMA GRUSSLER, COME ON!

GRANDMA, YOU'RE ALIVE!

AND KICKING. HOW YOU DOING, GUYS?

AND YOU GOT TIGER, TOO. WHY WOULDN'T I?

Both: [ Laughing ] NO REASON.

THEN GET OUT OF MY WAY. I'M WATCHING "GLOBAL GLADIATOR."

SURE. AND I LOVE THIS GUY.

...THE CHAMPION, DIEGO CASTELLANAS, FROM HAVANA, CUBA.

BUT FIRST, THIS COMMERCIAL BREAK.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TALKED ME INTO THIS.

EVEN IF I MESS UP,

IT LOOKS LIKE THE MAGIC DOESN'T LAST VERY LONG.

BESIDES, I FIGURED OUT HOW TO WORK THESE THINGS.

YOU SEE, IT'S EASY.

ALL I GOT TO DO IS CHOP YOU UP A COUPLE TIMES,

CUT YOU IN HALF,

AND WE'LL WALK AWAY WITH THOSE BIKES TOMORROW.

JUST DON'T WAVE THAT WAND AT ME.

I PROMISE, I WON'T.

[ BAGPIPES PLAYING ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

BOO!

NEXT UP IS A LAST-MINUTE ACT

THAT AUDITIONED FOR THE JUDGES THIS MORNING.

IT'S PETER THE GREAT AND HIS LITTLE MAGIC ACT OF HORRORS.

GREAT NAME, BY THE WAY.

YEAH, GRANDMA GRUSSLER THOUGHT IT UP IN THE CAR THIS MORNING.

[ APPLAUSE ]

LET'S HEAR IT FOR MY ASSISTANT, BO!

[ APPLAUSE ] HELLO!

CAN I PLEASE HAVE A VOLUNTEER FROM THE AUDIENCE?

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

DOUGIE DEMBROWSKI, COME ON UP.

[ APPLAUSE ]

NOW, WILL YOU PLEASE EXAMINE THIS BLADE.

LET THE AUDIENCE KNOW IT'S REAL.

OW.

IT'S REAL, ALL RIGHT, AND SHARP.

YOU CAN DEFINITELY CUT SOMEONE IN HALF WITH THIS.

[ APPLAUSE ]

THANK YOU. OH, GO ON. THANKS.

Thanks, Dougie.

I'll give you your 5 bucks later.

Now get off the stage. The volunteer part's over.

WHOA!

I WILL NOW PLUNGE THIS BLADE INTO MY ASSISTANT.

OHH!

[ ALL GASP ]

OW.

AND THIS ONE, TOO.

OHH!

[ SCREAMS ]

AND NOW FOR THE GRAND FINALE,

I WILL TAKE MY ASSISTANT'S HEAD OFF.

WAIT, WHAT? WE DIDN'T PRACTICE THIS.

Don't worry about it. It works the same way.

[ ALL GASP ]

[ TWINKLE! ]

[ ALL GASP ]

BO? ARE YOU OKAY, BO?

SAY SOMETHING TO ME, BUDDY.

TELL ME I DIDN'T KILL YOU.

YOU DIDN'T.

I WAS JUST MILKING IT FOR THE CROWD.

[ APPLAUSE ]

I THINK WE JUST WON.

I LOVE THESE BIKES! I TOLD YOU WE'D WIN.

BOY, WAS MARY-MARGARET MAD.

I KNOW. TOO BAD SHE'S TALKING AGAIN.

I GUESS THE MAGIC ONLY WORKS 24 HOURS.

HEY, WATCH THIS.

LET ME TRY.

[ POP! ] AAH, AAH! STOP!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

NO, STAY CALM. STAY CALM. OVER HERE, OVER HERE.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

NO, NO, OVER HERE, STAY -- OVER HERE, FOLLOW ME.

FOLLOW ME. YOU LOST YOUR HEAD, SEE?

NO. I'LL EXPLAIN.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOU LOST YOUR HEAD.

OR ACTUALLY, YOU LOST YOUR BODY.

HE LOST YOUR HEA.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO CHOP OFF MY HEAD!

I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THE STUPID TRICK!

BUT YOU HAD TO DO IT, ANYWAY, DIDN'T YOU?!

I'M SORRY, BO, I REALLY AM.

SORRY? REALLY?! LOOK AT ME!

LOOK, BO, YOU JUST SAID YOURSELF,

THE MAGIC ONLY LASTS FOR 24 HOURS,

SO HOW BAD CAN THIS BE?

HOW'S THAT FEEL, LESS WOBBLY?

MM-HMM. DON'T NOD. DON'T NOD.

HEY, I'M NOT GOING HOME LIKE THIS!

I'M LIKE THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN WITHOUT THE HORSE!

IT'S THE WEEKEND. YOU CAN SPEND THE NIGHT.

WE'LL GO TO CRAZY MERLIN'S IN THE MORNING

AND SEE IF HE CAN FIX THIS.

MAYBE WE'RE IN THE WRONG SPOT.

[ POLICE RADIO CHATTER ]

THERE'S AN OFFICER.

EXCUSE ME, OFFICER.

CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE NOSUCH PLACE IS?

[ LAUGHS ] IS THIS A JOKE, KID? NO, SIR.

THERE USED TO BE A SIGN RIGHT HERE

CALLED "NOSUCH PLACE,"

AND THE LITTLE MAGIC SHOP OF HORRORS WAS RIGHT BACK THERE.

NOT IN THIS TOWN, AND CERTAINLY NOT ON THIS STREET.

SORRY.

NOW, WHY DON'T YOU BOYS GET ON HOME NOW?

YOU'RE LATE!

AND YOU BETTER HAVE A DARN GOOD EXCUSE.

Take your head off.

SERIOUSLY? YEAH, DO IT.

I THINK THAT'S A DARN GOOD EXCUSE.

DON'T EVEN TELL ME YOU LOST YOUR HEAD.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!

GIVE ME THE RING.

[ GRUNTS ] I CAN'T GET IT OFF.

I CAN.

[ TWINKLE! ]

GIVE ME YOUR FINGER.

I'M GONNA TWIST THIS THING RIGHT OFF.

YOU WON'T FEEL A THING.

OW.

[ POP! ]

[ GASPS ] HEY!

YOU TOOK MY WHOLE FINGER OFF!

AND I'M GONNA KEEP IT, TOO, UNTIL YOU BRING ME THE AMULET

CRAZY MERLIN GAVE YOU TWO CLOWNS IN YOUR STARTER KIT.

HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE STARTER KIT?

BECAUSE I HAVE ONE OF MY OWN.

AND I HAVE YOUR WAND, TOO.

YOU LEFT IT IN THE BOX OF DEATH UP IN THE AUDITORIUM.

DIDN'T CRAZY MERLIN TELL YOU TWO

TO BE MORE CAREFUL WITH THIS STUFF?

YOU NEVER, EVER MESS AROUND WITH MAGIC

UNLESS YOU'VE GOT TOTAL CONTROL.

AND YOU CAN'T HAVE TOTAL CONTROL UNLESS YOU'RE WEARING THIS.

SERIOUSLY? ALL I HAD TO DO WAS WEAR THAT GOOFY NECKLACE?

IT WOULD HAVE HELPED.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE A MAGICIAN. YEP.

GOT MY STARTER KIT

FROM CRAZY MERLIN WHEN I WAS JUST A KID.

I TURNED MY CAT, PEANUT, INTO A TIGER.

SHE ENDED UP HUNTING ZEBRAS AT THE ZOO.

I TOLD YOU!

SIT STILL AND BE QUIET.

[ BUZZING ]

NOW, LEAN FORWARD.

WELL, NOW THAT YOU'VE GOT YOUR HEAD BACK,

ALL YOU NEED IS A BRAIN.

HEY, WHAT ABOUT MY FINGER?

YOU GET THAT BACK WHEN I GET THE AMULET.

AND I WANT IT BACK HERE WITHIN THE HOUR.

OUT!

GRANDMA, ARE YOU HERE?

"GLOBAL GLADIATORS."

GRANDMA GRUSSLER,

CAN YOU TELL US HOW YOU CAME TO BE ON OUR SHO?

HUH?

WELL, I -- I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE

HOW I GOT HERE.

I WAS SITTING ON MY COUCH,

AND I WAS WATCHING THE SHOW WITH MY LITTLE TIGER, AND --

AND THEN I SAID,

"BOY, IT SURE WOULD BE FUN TO BE ON 'GLOBAL GLADIATORS.'"

AND HERE I AM!

[ BOTH SCREAMING ]

[ ALL SCREAMING ]