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1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:04,336
Who wants cheese?
2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,738
Our plate and knife are dirty,
3
00:00:05,740 --> 00:00:07,739
so you'll have to just
nibble off the block.
4
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:11,743
Dang, Brita filtered water
and now a big cheese?
5
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,678
You two really have it all figured out.
6
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,280
But I feel bad we always hang here,
7
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:18,016
so maybe tomorrow night
we could do a girls' night
8
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,919
- at my apartment.
- Apartment?
9
00:00:19,948 --> 00:00:21,820
Don't you live at home
with your parents?
10
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:25,223
No, I meant I was apart from them,
11
00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:27,359
an a-part-ment.
12
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,693
Get it? I can put
13
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:32,030
anything I want up on my walls.
14
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,366
With pushpins.
I'm... I'm not allowed to use nails.
15
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,969
You sound like an idiot right now.
16
00:00:36,971 --> 00:00:39,504
- A girls' night sounds great.
- We're in.
17
00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:40,773
Cool beans!
18
00:00:40,775 --> 00:00:42,307
"Cool beans?"
19
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:44,877
What the [BLEEP] is cool about beans?
20
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:50,315
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
21
00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:53,852
♪ I got a feeling that it's
going to be a wonderful day ♪
22
00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,989
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
23
00:00:56,991 --> 00:01:00,726
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
24
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:06,899
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
25
00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:09,568
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
26
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:14,907
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
27
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:21,413
There. I think I'm ready
for girls night.
28
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,547
Oh, I'm sure they won't notice
29
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,883
your dining table is your childhood bed.
30
00:01:25,757 --> 00:01:27,019
Babe, you okay?
31
00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:29,221
You're growling more than normal.
32
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,755
It's just... okay.
33
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,557
You know how when you're nervous,
you hear,
34
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:35,227
like,
a little judgmental voice in your head?
35
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:38,763
Maybe. I'm trying to get better
at reading your moods.
36
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,566
You're either stressed or horny.
37
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:42,767
Stressed.
38
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,036
Aw, shucks.
39
00:01:44,038 --> 00:01:46,672
Why is this night so important to you?
40
00:01:46,749 --> 00:01:48,106
Settle in, Jeff.
41
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,241
When I was a kid,
42
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,776
"Big City Honeys" was my favorite show.
43
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,847
The "Honeys" are young women
living together in the city.
44
00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:56,515
I always imagined that when I grew up,
45
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,183
I would be just like them...
46
00:01:58,185 --> 00:02:00,919
living in the big city,
falling in and out of love,
47
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:03,455
but always having the
support of my fellow Honeys
48
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,723
when I needed it.
49
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,859
But until I met Nerfer and Danuta,
50
00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:09,461
I never had real girlfriends.
51
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:10,995
That's a sad.
52
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,731
I just need to make sure
there's nothing embarrassing
53
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,802
in the house that could ruin the night.
54
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,228
Wait till Snot sees my washboard abs.
55
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:23,604
Steve, do you still have
those freckles on your wrists?
56
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,746
Ah!
57
00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:33,151
Check it out. We're making Rogu
a girlfriend out of canned pork.
58
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,722
Meet Spam Anderson.
59
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,559
Look!
60
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,627
The boogerman!
61
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:52,571
The boogerman.
62
00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:00,645
Love it when the house
is peaceful like this.
63
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,781
Thank you for putting
those turkeys in the shed.
64
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,983
We have big plans tonight.
65
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:08,053
Roger is opening a fancy
new spa in the attic,
66
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:10,922
and we're going to be
his first customers.
67
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,324
Who's ready for a two-hour
couples massage?
68
00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:15,994
I'm Rub Rub Tuggington
and I'll... oh, wow.
69
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,863
I had never said that name out loud.
70
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,998
I hate it.
Definitely going to change that.
71
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,001
Awful name. One of my worst.
72
00:03:22,003 --> 00:03:23,602
It's fine. The name's only temporary.
73
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:25,070
It'll be an easy change.
74
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:27,072
Might have to order
some new business cards.
75
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:37,016
My God, it's everywhere.
76
00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:44,823
This place is supposed to be a relaxing,
professional retreat.
77
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,758
The worst thing that can happen
to your spa
78
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,960
is it gets known as a "jerk off" place.
79
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,696
Okay. Keep it together, Roger.
80
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:52,764
You mean Rub Rub Tuggington.
81
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,166
Yes. Thank you, Francine.
82
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:57,769
Let's forget about
this small branding snafu
83
00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,100
and get you two ready for your massage.
84
00:04:03,148 --> 00:04:04,976
Aaah! Aaaaah!
85
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,177
Carpal tunnel.
86
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,513
Rub Rub Tuggington, are you okay?
87
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,115
Stop saying my name!
88
00:04:13,148 --> 00:04:16,255
Tonight is the night,
and we are living it.
89
00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:18,257
Wow. You should be a speechwriter
90
00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:20,792
for the president of Numskull Island.
91
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,127
Yeah, we're excited.
92
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:24,529
Been looking forward to this all day.
93
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:25,931
Excited, too, I am.
94
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,599
Now you're talking like Yoda.
95
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,268
Say something cool.
96
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:32,604
Doesn't Nancy Kerrigan
make you guys want to puke?
97
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,805
Uh...
98
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,540
I thought we could watch this tonight.
99
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:36,942
"Big City Honeys."
100
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,010
It was my favorite show
when I was a kid.
101
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:42,013
- Never heard of it.
- Me neither, but growing up, my parents only let me watch
102
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:44,283
Christian shows and pro wrestling.
103
00:04:47,134 --> 00:04:49,354
♪ When I'm about to go crazy ♪
104
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,690
♪ 'Cause I'm still living here ♪
105
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,959
♪ I just get my friends together ♪
106
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,295
♪ And we dance, dance, dance ♪
107
00:04:56,297 --> 00:05:01,032
So, Kendra is uptight,
Lexi is a total party girl,
108
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,635
and Max is just like,
you know, out there.
109
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,236
You're over-explaining.
110
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:08,239
Their landlord, Mr. Orlando,
is always in their business,
111
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,775
along with their goofball neighbor,
112
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:12,778
Edgar Queefinski, or Queef for short.
113
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:13,979
Oh, there's Queef.
114
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,714
Stop saying Queef!
115
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:18,517
I can't have my head
stuck in a pickle jar.
116
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,919
I have a date tonight.
117
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,723
- It gets funnier.
- Liar.
118
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,192
You know it doesn't get any
funnier than the pickle jar.
119
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:29,060
Your friends think you're a bozo.
120
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:31,196
Guys, I'm not a bozo!
121
00:05:33,134 --> 00:05:34,465
I'm in a desperate situation.
122
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,067
I need to talk to Dr. Penguin.
123
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,670
Don't you want to talk to
your mother and father?
124
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,071
- Definitely not.
- Whew.
125
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,273
'Cause I got my own shit going on.
126
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,275
You know I haven't peed in a week?
127
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,277
I'm in the middle of a massage here.
128
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:49,148
And Dr. Penguin, I think,
is possibly still dead.
129
00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:52,884
Oh, yeah? Well, I have a groupon.
130
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,953
Tell me what's on your mind.
131
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:57,356
I've had this judgmental
voice of self-doubt
132
00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:59,224
in my head my whole life,
133
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:02,427
but now it's gotten so constant
I'm doubting everything.
134
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:04,830
No, you're not.
135
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,165
I see.
136
00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:08,700
I do, of course,
have a tried and true therapy
137
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,102
for this situation
that's never been tested.
138
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:14,305
I will try anything to get
this voice out of my head.
139
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:17,176
Fantastic. Get ready for a little HIV...
140
00:06:17,178 --> 00:06:19,578
High-Intensity Visualization.
141
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,046
Wow. You know, I guess I'm just terrible
142
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,581
at naming everything now.
143
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:25,917
Okay. This should only be
done by a trained therapist.
144
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,386
Otherwise, you'll get AIDS...
145
00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:31,056
Automatic Intense
De-visualization Syndrome.
146
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:36,862
Let's get this critical
voice out of your head
147
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,797
and into that painting.
148
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,799
This is never going to work.
149
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,534
Start taking deep breaths.
150
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,002
In and out.
151
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,137
Take in the painting in front of you
152
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,874
and rid yourself of your critical voice.
153
00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,475
Send it away.
154
00:06:50,477 --> 00:06:53,612
I send it away.
155
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,014
Away into the painting.
156
00:06:55,016 --> 00:06:56,415
That horrible critic.
157
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:59,084
It's made every day of my life worse.
158
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,420
I did teach you
how to masturbate correctly.
159
00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:03,021
Shut up. I was doing fine.
160
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,090
You were rubbing your belly button.
161
00:07:05,105 --> 00:07:06,357
It felt good.
162
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,959
Guys, can we focus here?
163
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:10,229
Never to be heard from again!
164
00:07:10,231 --> 00:07:13,498
I send you into the painting!
165
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,334
This'll never work.
166
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,040
I don't hear it.
167
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:25,110
Wait. I should get bangs.
168
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,112
Nothing! It's gone!
169
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,048
Thank you, Dr. Penguin.
170
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,050
Dr. Penguin, a great name.
171
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:35,654
Well, back to being Rub Rub.
172
00:07:35,708 --> 00:07:38,257
Aaaaah!
173
00:07:38,259 --> 00:07:40,125
Sorry I had to run off like that.
174
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,461
No problem. We have our phones.
175
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:45,264
It's nice to have some time
to just enjoy our phones.
176
00:07:45,266 --> 00:07:47,399
Moo!
177
00:07:47,489 --> 00:07:48,951
What was that?
178
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,471
Hey, girl.
179
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:54,539
I sent you into the painting.
Why are you a cow?
180
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:56,341
There was a cow in the painting.
181
00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:59,144
Oh, by the way, I heard
you were thinking of getting bangs.
182
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,413
You're going to look so stupid.
183
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,953
So nice to be out of your dumb head.
184
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,354
I'm a cow.
185
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:12,958
Check out my sweet little boobies.
186
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,292
- What?
- Your visualization therapy
187
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,895
gave me a cow that only I can see.
188
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,430
Huh, weird.
189
00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:21,500
If only you can see the cow,
just ignore it.
190
00:08:21,589 --> 00:08:23,168
Tickle. Door.
191
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,037
You know what? He's right.
192
00:08:25,039 --> 00:08:26,905
I'll just ignore you.
193
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,106
You can't ignore me.
194
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:30,508
I'm not a diarrhea sign
at a public pool!
195
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,378
Who wants to play "Frontiers of Finkel"?
196
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,380
- What?
- "Frontiers of Finkel."
197
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:38,650
It's a board game where you
colonize an alien planet.
198
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,786
Hayley, why have you been
acting so strange?
199
00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:43,055
And why do you keep running
out of the room?
200
00:08:43,057 --> 00:08:45,657
These are solid questions, Hayley.
201
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:48,060
Is this a girls' night
or an interrogation?
202
00:08:48,062 --> 00:08:49,795
The only question
you guys should be asking
203
00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:51,863
is what space guild you want to join!
204
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,398
Look at their faces.
205
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,334
Clearly wondering why they
ever became friends with you.
206
00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,203
Everybody grab five resource tokens.
207
00:08:58,205 --> 00:08:59,938
No, Danuta, those are energy coins.
208
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,339
Nerfer, those are moon doubloons.
209
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:04,075
You wish you could use those this round.
210
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:08,213
- What's this?
- Uh, a half-eaten weed gummy.
211
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,148
"After a thousand-year journey,
212
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,550
welcome to planet Finkel,
space colonists!"
213
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,153
Okay, first step is an audit of assets.
214
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,222
- Ooh!
- Shut up!
215
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:20,058
- Is everything okay?
- I have to go to the bathroom.
216
00:09:20,085 --> 00:09:22,094
They think you're taking a huge dump.
217
00:09:22,096 --> 00:09:23,695
I have to take a tiny dump!
218
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:25,335
That sounds way worse!
219
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,105
Guys, I think
we might be feeling the effects
220
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,641
of that open can of goop off!
221
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:38,176
I'll close it up. But before I do,
222
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:41,046
I just want to say that you
guys are the best friends
223
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:44,249
I've ever had in my life.
224
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:48,587
Can anyone else hear
their brain cells dying?
225
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:55,060
I can't remember why I'm up here.
226
00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:01,867
Baby blue VW Beetle?
227
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:07,339
Empress by Sean John perfume?
228
00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:09,274
Danuta walking around?
229
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,076
That can only be Danuta!
230
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,478
Danuta!
231
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,947
Yeah. She and that hottie Nerfer
are here tonight.
232
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,015
I have to get out of here.
233
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,416
I need to tell her something.
234
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,886
Then, damn it,
we'll get you out of here.
235
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,354
We're the shed boys.
236
00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:24,156
We'll do anything for each other.
237
00:10:24,158 --> 00:10:26,558
Can we tell each other anything?
238
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:27,959
Hell, yeah.
239
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:31,563
I've been eating the
Kingsford charcoal briquets,
240
00:10:31,565 --> 00:10:33,207
and I like them.
241
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:37,169
Shed boys!
242
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,573
You know, despite you being here,
243
00:10:41,575 --> 00:10:43,641
I think the night is going pretty well.
244
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,978
Hayley, I have four stomachs,
and even I can't swallow that.
245
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,114
Who cares if your friendship is over?
246
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,315
You got me!
247
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,117
But I'd like to blow you up
with dynamite.
248
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:54,186
Oh, wait. I know how to save the night!
249
00:10:54,188 --> 00:10:55,587
I got three M-80s.
250
00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,122
Let's throw one in the block of cheese
251
00:10:57,124 --> 00:11:00,726
and class this bish up with some fondue.
252
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:01,860
They're gone.
253
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,328
Screw them, Hayley.
254
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:07,065
Let's go outside and swat
flies from our asses.
255
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,200
Danuta texted.
256
00:11:08,202 --> 00:11:09,535
"Sorry, Hayley. We took off.
257
00:11:09,537 --> 00:11:11,537
"Seems like you're going
through something.
258
00:11:11,539 --> 00:11:13,071
Peace out." And then Nerfer
259
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:16,474
sent a gif of Deadpool waving goodbye.
260
00:11:16,888 --> 00:11:18,610
Okay, eating all those cheeseburgers
261
00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:20,478
did nothing for my carpal tunnel.
262
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,480
- Should we maybe just go?
- No.
263
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,750
I promised you a massage,
and you're getting one.
264
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:28,887
Stan, you will massage Francine
while I expertly coach.
265
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:31,223
The most important thing is
that the massage
266
00:11:31,225 --> 00:11:33,425
cannot get sexual in any way.
267
00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:36,628
Now, let me put on
some relaxing spa music.
268
00:11:44,638 --> 00:11:49,241
Under no circumstances should
you be aroused by this.
269
00:11:49,243 --> 00:11:51,276
Almost forgot the oil.
270
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,847
Aaaah!
271
00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:02,988
That's good, Stan,
but forget the shoulders
272
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,256
and focus on her butt.
273
00:12:04,258 --> 00:12:05,857
Well, get in there. Don't be shy.
274
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:07,325
Really knead that ass.
275
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,994
Think pizza dough.
276
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:11,930
Mm. Ohh.
277
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:15,000
Ohh. Oh, yeah.
278
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,401
You can't bang her, Stan.
279
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,404
That kind of thing
doesn't fly at this spa.
280
00:12:18,406 --> 00:12:19,938
Alright, turn over.
281
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,473
Let's work the knots
out of those breasts.
282
00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:22,674
What should we do now?
283
00:12:22,676 --> 00:12:25,277
Maybe see what some
of your exes are up to?
284
00:12:25,279 --> 00:12:26,878
What's the deal with Reginald?
285
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,947
Are we going to talk about
how you slept with a koala?
286
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,548
I can't take this anymore!
287
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,284
That's it. I'm getting rid of you.
288
00:12:32,286 --> 00:12:33,751
Uh, good luck, girl.
289
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,621
- I'm your cow.
- Not for long.
290
00:12:35,623 --> 00:12:37,823
If I got you through
visualization therapy,
291
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:39,625
I can use it to get rid of you.
292
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:43,762
Uh, didn't Dr. Penguin
say not to do this
293
00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:45,230
without a trained professional?
294
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,800
I like that you're nervous about this.
295
00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:51,503
I send this cow...
296
00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:53,772
Danuta! Where is she?
297
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,573
Klaus has something important
to tell her!
298
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,909
She's got to be in here somewhere!
299
00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,911
Tear this place apart!
300
00:13:09,523 --> 00:13:10,856
She's not here!
301
00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:11,990
She's not here!
302
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,258
She couldn't have gotten far.
303
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,860
We have to find her!
304
00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:17,262
- I see her!
- No, that's Greg.
305
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:19,665
Hey, newsman, have you seen Danuta?
306
00:13:19,667 --> 00:13:21,467
- Who?
- Danuta!
307
00:13:21,469 --> 00:13:22,701
What are you, new here?
308
00:13:22,703 --> 00:13:23,735
There's tracks!
309
00:13:23,737 --> 00:13:26,204
Those are Danuta's paws, for sure.
310
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:27,605
And it leads right to...
311
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,208
Raccoon!
312
00:13:34,682 --> 00:13:37,082
I wish I could just be in the show.
313
00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:39,017
That's all I ever really wanted...
314
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:42,420
to have best friends who love me,
no matter what.
315
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,956
I want to be a Big City Honey.
316
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,301
- Am I...
- Late for breakfast?
317
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:57,969
Yeah, Hayley, you are.
318
00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,371
But I get it.
319
00:13:59,373 --> 00:14:02,441
Max is trying to cook again.
320
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:08,380
Breakfast is served.
321
00:14:15,484 --> 00:14:16,521
Yeah!
322
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,790
♪ When I'm about to go crazy ♪
323
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,859
♪ 'Cause I'm still living here ♪
324
00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,728
♪ I just get my friends together ♪
325
00:14:22,730 --> 00:14:25,864
♪ And we dance, dance, dance ♪
326
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,533
♪ If this is the fate of the world ♪
327
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:31,803
♪ This is the fate of the world ♪
328
00:14:32,443 --> 00:14:34,673
Hey, I'm not that bad of a cook.
329
00:14:34,675 --> 00:14:37,917
Your food gives my heartburn heartburn.
330
00:14:38,456 --> 00:14:40,011
Hello, 911?
331
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:42,614
I'd like to report a bad frittata.
332
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,151
Well, my life is over.
333
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:50,155
I just ran into my boss while
I was doing the walk of shame.
334
00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:51,490
Lexi, are you part camel?
335
00:14:51,492 --> 00:14:54,693
Because you sure love to hump.
336
00:14:54,695 --> 00:14:56,628
Yeah. You've had more plan Bs
337
00:14:56,630 --> 00:14:58,807
than an over-prepared scout leader.
338
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,301
All I know is I need a daiquiri.
339
00:15:02,303 --> 00:15:04,570
I'll take one, too.
340
00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:09,308
Queef, you know we have a door.
341
00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:11,176
Yeah, but you lock your door.
342
00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:13,312
Exacta-mundo!
343
00:15:13,314 --> 00:15:14,646
It's almost summer.
344
00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:16,648
Who wants to help me with my manscaping?
345
00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:19,451
I need to trim down the winter bush.
346
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:24,656
Razor? Try a weed whacker.
347
00:15:24,658 --> 00:15:26,591
God, I love being here.
348
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,794
You know, I used to think there
was something wrong with me,
349
00:15:28,796 --> 00:15:30,729
and I could never keep
any of my friends.
350
00:15:30,731 --> 00:15:34,465
But being here makes me see
that I was never the problem.
351
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,068
Uh, over-share much?
352
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:40,271
It's probably my date.
353
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,696
Hayley, get the door.
354
00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:43,663
Moo.
355
00:15:46,147 --> 00:15:48,013
Geez, Hayley.
356
00:15:48,015 --> 00:15:49,301
Rude much?
357
00:15:50,551 --> 00:15:53,352
Everyone, this is my cow.
358
00:15:53,354 --> 00:15:54,486
Holy cow!
359
00:15:54,488 --> 00:15:57,756
This is "udder" madness!
360
00:15:57,758 --> 00:16:00,091
Personally, I prefer Louis Vuitton
361
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,061
to emotional baggage.
362
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:06,297
What is going on in there?
363
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,566
Mr. Orlando!
364
00:16:07,568 --> 00:16:09,368
There's no pets allowed in the building.
365
00:16:09,370 --> 00:16:12,904
- If we get evicted, I'll lose you all!
- Whoa!
366
00:16:12,918 --> 00:16:16,508
Someone forgot
her chill pill this morning.
367
00:16:16,510 --> 00:16:17,709
Everyone shut up!
368
00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:20,111
This is serious!
I am not [BLEEP] around.
369
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,646
Do I look like I am [BLEEP] around?
370
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,782
Because I assure you, I am not.
371
00:16:23,784 --> 00:16:25,584
Hayley, are you part witch?
372
00:16:25,586 --> 00:16:28,187
Because you love to curse.
373
00:16:28,911 --> 00:16:31,690
Why is everyone acting
like this is some joke?
374
00:16:32,926 --> 00:16:34,659
I told you this was a bad idea.
375
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:37,462
I am not going to let
you screw this up for me.
376
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:38,997
You can't hide me forever, Hayley.
377
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:42,768
I may sleep standing up,
but I won't stand for this.
378
00:16:45,606 --> 00:16:47,806
You girls think I'm pretty dumb.
379
00:16:47,808 --> 00:16:51,743
Well, something's going on in here,
and I know what it is.
380
00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:55,146
You girls are flushing tampons again!
381
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,750
Geez, Mr. Orlando,
what is with you and tampons?
382
00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:01,553
I've been unhappily married
for 30 years,
383
00:17:01,555 --> 00:17:04,355
so I think I know women,
384
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,759
and they love flushing tampons!
385
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,496
What was that?
386
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:12,964
Get real, buddy.
387
00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:14,433
You're not getting into that bathroom.
388
00:17:14,435 --> 00:17:17,035
Not without a goddamn warrant.
389
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:19,838
I actually think I saw
a tampon in this bucket.
390
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,874
You did? Let me see!
391
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,649
See? Nothing going on in there.
392
00:17:30,651 --> 00:17:32,083
Moo.
393
00:17:32,175 --> 00:17:34,620
- What is that racket?
- Nothing.
394
00:17:34,706 --> 00:17:36,989
And whatever it is,
I'm trying to repress it.
395
00:17:38,459 --> 00:17:41,393
Moo!
396
00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:42,527
Damn!
397
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,097
That cow is yoked!
398
00:17:46,467 --> 00:17:48,199
Aah!
399
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:49,868
Aah!
400
00:17:49,870 --> 00:17:51,603
I married the wrong cow.
401
00:17:51,605 --> 00:17:54,873
My wife never gives me head.
402
00:17:54,875 --> 00:17:57,342
You can't hide me anymore!
403
00:17:57,806 --> 00:18:01,613
You're fighting a losing
battle with your cattle!
404
00:18:01,615 --> 00:18:03,682
I can't believe you ruined this!
405
00:18:03,684 --> 00:18:05,350
This was my dream!
406
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,018
You ruin everything!
407
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:09,554
You're the reason I've never
been able to keep friends!
408
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,756
I hate you!
409
00:18:15,763 --> 00:18:17,362
What the hell is going on here?
410
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:20,765
Hayley, I warned you not to
do that therapy without me.
411
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,233
Why is the cow crying?
412
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,903
Probably a Knicks fan.
413
00:18:24,905 --> 00:18:27,506
Okay, that's hilarious. And true.
414
00:18:27,508 --> 00:18:29,508
The Knicks are terrible. I think.
415
00:18:29,510 --> 00:18:31,376
I-I don't really follow the sport.
416
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:32,911
If indeed it is a sport.
417
00:18:32,913 --> 00:18:34,779
Roger, why are you here?
418
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,183
I'm here to help you, Hayley.
Don't you see?
419
00:18:37,262 --> 00:18:39,584
By trying to hide
your negative thoughts,
420
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,320
you only made your cow bigger.
421
00:18:41,322 --> 00:18:43,455
Why did you ever think
that you could get rid
422
00:18:43,457 --> 00:18:44,723
of something that is a part of you?
423
00:18:44,725 --> 00:18:46,325
You told me I could!
424
00:18:46,327 --> 00:18:47,793
It was your therapy!
425
00:18:47,795 --> 00:18:49,260
Paid for with a groupon.
426
00:18:49,690 --> 00:18:51,330
What do I need to do to fix this mess?
427
00:18:51,332 --> 00:18:55,466
Hayley, your cow
is only trying to protect you.
428
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,002
It's true.
429
00:18:57,004 --> 00:19:00,472
Instead of hiding, ignoring,
or fighting with your cow,
430
00:19:00,474 --> 00:19:01,940
you need to accept it.
431
00:19:01,942 --> 00:19:03,942
You can't make those
negative thoughts go away.
432
00:19:03,944 --> 00:19:07,212
But you can learn to acknowledge
them and let them pass.
433
00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:10,415
Love your cow,
but don't let it control you.
434
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:12,083
Being a Big City Honey
435
00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:14,686
means embracing every part of yourself.
436
00:19:14,688 --> 00:19:16,421
Lady, I got this.
437
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:18,019
Smooch your cow.
438
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:20,425
Ew, gross!
439
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:22,027
I was joking.
440
00:19:22,029 --> 00:19:24,029
You didn't really need to do that,
but it was hilarious.
441
00:19:24,118 --> 00:19:26,065
Come on. Time to go.
442
00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:31,570
Whoa, that was intense.
443
00:19:31,572 --> 00:19:33,705
- Thanks, Dr. P.
- No problemo, Hayley,
444
00:19:33,707 --> 00:19:36,775
but next time we go into a show,
can it be "Silver Spoons"?
445
00:19:36,777 --> 00:19:39,044
I want to ride that little train.
446
00:19:39,046 --> 00:19:41,713
Ooh, cheese and Brita water.
447
00:19:41,715 --> 00:19:42,848
Were you having the queen over?
448
00:19:42,850 --> 00:19:44,183
That reminds me, I should go.
449
00:19:44,185 --> 00:19:46,718
I need to make things right
with my friends.
450
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,320
Cool.
451
00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:51,723
Back to work.
452
00:19:51,725 --> 00:19:53,324
- Mm.
- Mm.
453
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,526
Oh, yeah.
454
00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:55,994
- Oh!
- Well,
455
00:19:55,996 --> 00:19:58,730
Rub Rub Tuggington's business is ruined.
456
00:19:58,732 --> 00:20:00,199
Might as well watch.
457
00:20:00,201 --> 00:20:02,401
You know what?
The name's kind of growing on me.
458
00:20:02,403 --> 00:20:03,668
Can you leave, Roger?
459
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:05,336
How about instead of leaving,
460
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:08,139
we have a race to see
who can finish first.
461
00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:09,908
You're on!
462
00:20:13,947 --> 00:20:16,681
Hey. I'm so sorry
that I ruined our night.
463
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:19,818
I was just so nervous because
I-I like you guys so much,
464
00:20:19,820 --> 00:20:21,152
and I think you're so cool and...
465
00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:23,488
Whoa. Slow down there, girl.
466
00:20:24,464 --> 00:20:25,624
Let me slow down.
467
00:20:25,626 --> 00:20:28,760
I guess you could say I got
a little too in my own head.
468
00:20:28,762 --> 00:20:30,629
Hayley, you don't have to be nervous
469
00:20:30,631 --> 00:20:32,163
or apologize for being weird.
470
00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:34,700
Yeah. You have a husband and a job.
471
00:20:34,702 --> 00:20:37,836
We think you're the one
who's got it all figured out.
472
00:20:37,838 --> 00:20:40,371
Really? Wow! I had no idea!
473
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,641
Danuta!
474
00:20:42,643 --> 00:20:45,176
Danuta! Danuta!
475
00:20:45,178 --> 00:20:49,514
I have to tell you something, Danuta!
476
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:50,582
What?
477
00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:52,117
What is it, Klaus?
478
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:56,455
Uhhhh...
479
00:20:56,457 --> 00:20:58,457
Hey.
480
00:20:58,459 --> 00:21:00,292
Bye-bye. See you soon.
481
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,995
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
34457
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