Original subtitles

Kind: captions Language: en

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] run

run

run do you want to win

if you could time travel

if you could time travel

if you could time travel when would you go and why

when would you go and why

when would you go and why i would go back to when i was three or

i would go back to when i was three or

i would go back to when i was three or four

four

four and tell

my mom and dad that i

my mom and dad that i

my mom and dad that i was a girl

was a girl

was a girl and i wasn't happy being a boy living as

and i wasn't happy being a boy living as

and i wasn't happy being a boy living as a boy living as a boy

a boy living as a boy

a boy living as a boy repeat what's the answer

if i could

if i could

if i could go back in time i would go back to when

go back in time i would go back to when

go back in time i would go back to when i was three or four to tell my mom and

i was three or four to tell my mom and

i was three or four to tell my mom and dad

dad

dad that

that

that that i am a girl and that i didn't want

that i am a girl and that i didn't want

that i am a girl and that i didn't want to go on living as a boy

kangaroo

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] so

[Music]

okay well stop

okay well stop

okay well stop [Music]

oh stop

oh stop

oh stop i get so confused sometimes i misgender

i get so confused sometimes i misgender

i get so confused sometimes i misgender the animals because

the animals because

the animals because you know i'll say

you know i'll say

you know i'll say i'll call mackey and then i'll correct

i'll call mackey and then i'll correct

i'll call mackey and then i'll correct myself and say she and then i'll say no

myself and say she and then i'll say no

myself and say she and then i'll say no wait he is a he when we first got mack

wait he is a he when we first got mack

wait he is a he when we first got mack i went with the kids to petco to get mac

i went with the kids to petco to get mac

i went with the kids to petco to get mac um

um

um a winter coat

a winter coat

a winter coat and they wanted to get mac a fluffy like

and they wanted to get mac a fluffy like

and they wanted to get mac a fluffy like tutu skirt

tutu skirt

tutu skirt and i said but max a boy dog and both

and i said but max a boy dog and both

and i said but max a boy dog and both kids were just like horrified with me

kids were just like horrified with me

kids were just like horrified with me they said

they said

they said don't put your gender roles on our

don't put your gender roles on our

don't put your gender roles on our maybe he's a transgender dog he doesn't

maybe he's a transgender dog he doesn't

maybe he's a transgender dog he doesn't have to be a transgender dog to wear a

have to be a transgender dog to wear a

have to be a transgender dog to wear a skirt

skirt

skirt you have to give him a tutu

you have to give him a tutu

you have to give him a tutu i don't think any dog really wants to

i don't think any dog really wants to

i don't think any dog really wants to wear a tutu male or female we'll get

wear a tutu male or female we'll get

wear a tutu male or female we'll get roswell too too

roswell too too

roswell too too okay you can put it on her

okay you can put it on her

okay you can put it on her yeah

yeah

yeah no daddy puts it on her

no daddy puts it on her

no daddy puts it on her we have two children

we have two children

we have two children a boy and a girl

a boy and a girl

a boy and a girl bagels what kind of bagels did you get

bagels what kind of bagels did you get

bagels what kind of bagels did you get when it was a girl and a boy

as far as the gender dynamics they've

as far as the gender dynamics they've

as far as the gender dynamics they've switched genders in the past couple

switched genders in the past couple

switched genders in the past couple years but it hasn't

years but it hasn't

years but it hasn't affected who they are i don't think as

affected who they are i don't think as

affected who they are i don't think as much as solidifying who they are luca is

much as solidifying who they are luca is

much as solidifying who they are luca is a sullen teenager

a sullen teenager

a sullen teenager ren is a bubbly young lady you've never

ren is a bubbly young lady you've never

ren is a bubbly young lady you've never said it period when have you ever said

said it period when have you ever said

said it period when have you ever said shut up i might say

shut up i might say

shut up i might say can you please just shut up

can you please just shut up

can you please just shut up she still said please shut up

she still said please shut up

she still said please shut up [Music]

[Music]

[Music] little miss westy is a huge thing in

little miss westy is a huge thing in

little miss westy is a huge thing in west haven

west haven

west haven it's supposed to be friend doesn't know

it's supposed to be friend doesn't know

it's supposed to be friend doesn't know most of the other kids who are involved

most of the other kids who are involved

most of the other kids who are involved in it and so she gets to go in and just

in it and so she gets to go in and just

in it and so she gets to go in and just be a girl and be kind of a girly girl

so this allows her to kind of explore

so this allows her to kind of explore

so this allows her to kind of explore who she's becoming

who she's becoming

who she's becoming more so than who she's been or who she

more so than who she's been or who she

more so than who she's been or who she is right now

is right now

is right now [Music]

[Music]

[Music] website

website

website [Music]

[Music]

[Music] which includes just a portion

which includes just a portion

which includes just a portion an interview

an interview

an interview a glitz and glitter session

a glitz and glitter session

a glitz and glitter session and an

and an

and an optional talent portion

optional talent portion

optional talent portion the pageant names an overwatch supreme

the pageant names an overwatch supreme

the pageant names an overwatch supreme winner and then chooses champions for

winner and then chooses champions for

winner and then chooses champions for each age category

each age category

each age category prizes include tiaras sashes trophies

prizes include tiaras sashes trophies

prizes include tiaras sashes trophies cash

cash

cash this year i shall compete like luka did

when luca had done little miss westy

when luca had done little miss westy

when luca had done little miss westy several years back when he was still

several years back when he was still

several years back when he was still living as a girl

living as a girl

living as a girl it was really important for his growth

it was really important for his growth

it was really important for his growth as a person

it was really fun for me

it was really fun for me

it was really fun for me except when i lost because then i

except when i lost because then i

except when i lost because then i started crying on stage because i'm a

started crying on stage because i'm a

started crying on stage because i'm a crybaby

crybaby

crybaby it's really embarrassing because i'm not

it's really embarrassing because i'm not

it's really embarrassing because i'm not a good dancer at all

but like the process was really

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] fun i'm not a pageant person myself i

fun i'm not a pageant person myself i

fun i'm not a pageant person myself i mean to me

mean to me

mean to me you know like i kind of thought i was

you know like i kind of thought i was

you know like i kind of thought i was done when luca was done and so then when

done when luca was done and so then when

done when luca was done and so then when ren wanted to do it it was a little bit

ren wanted to do it it was a little bit

ren wanted to do it it was a little bit like okay

you can dress in like an outfit that

you can dress in like an outfit that

you can dress in like an outfit that represents your personality or whatever

represents your personality or whatever

represents your personality or whatever this is how i become the lgbt fairy

this is how i become the lgbt fairy

this is how i become the lgbt fairy and this is going to be her outfit

and this is going to be her outfit

and this is going to be her outfit you cannot have an outfit without us

you cannot have an outfit without us

you cannot have an outfit without us quick hat

quick hat

quick hat candy

candy

candy i said the look at that looks good right

i said the look at that looks good right

i said the look at that looks good right luka's like what is wrong with you

luka's like what is wrong with you

luka's like what is wrong with you of course that's a squid

of course that's a squid

of course that's a squid what else would it be

what else would it be

what else would it be no he thought it was genitalia

it's not it's a squid man you're all

it's not it's a squid man you're all

it's not it's a squid man you're all right

[Music]

can i just point out that even though i

can i just point out that even though i

can i just point out that even though i can't blame you since you didn't

can't blame you since you didn't

can't blame you since you didn't understand at the time

understand at the time

understand at the time i was finding out that i wanted to be a

i was finding out that i wanted to be a

i was finding out that i wanted to be a girl when i was like okay friend yeah

girl when i was like okay friend yeah

girl when i was like okay friend yeah every single day

when ren was

when ren was

when ren was probably about four in preschool she

probably about four in preschool she

probably about four in preschool she asked us if she might be a girl

asked us if she might be a girl

asked us if she might be a girl [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

and at the time we didn't know anyone

and at the time we didn't know anyone

and at the time we didn't know anyone who was transgender and we had no idea

who was transgender and we had no idea

who was transgender and we had no idea here is the superhero sting he can't get

here is the superhero sting he can't get

here is the superhero sting he can't get in the kitchen because of the

in the kitchen because of the

in the kitchen because of the giant wall what will he do

giant wall what will he do

giant wall what will he do i would knock it down

i would knock it down

i would knock it down okay you can knock it down i got it

okay you can knock it down i got it

okay you can knock it down i got it [Music]

[Music]

[Music] and we just said no you're too much of a

and we just said no you're too much of a

and we just said no you're too much of a boy to be a girl he knocked it down

boy to be a girl he knocked it down

boy to be a girl he knocked it down let's do that again

let's do that again

let's do that again she's very easygoing didn't say another

she's very easygoing didn't say another

she's very easygoing didn't say another thing until many years later

thing until many years later

thing until many years later the law of the pack

we were on vacation and she told luca

but they kept it between themselves

but they kept it between themselves

but they kept it between themselves so we didn't find out until luco came

so we didn't find out until luco came

so we didn't find out until luco came out to us later

out to us later

out to us later the first time i came out to them

the first time i came out to them

the first time i came out to them i wrote them a letter

i wrote them a letter

i wrote them a letter and i left it before i went to school

and i left it before i went to school

and i left it before i went to school and i came home from school and like we

and i came home from school and like we

and i came home from school and like we got in a big argument about it

but then i said never mind forget about

but then i said never mind forget about

but then i said never mind forget about it and we didn't hear much else about it

it and we didn't hear much else about it

it and we didn't hear much else about it until

until

until he started uh high school

he was failing in school and i had no

he was failing in school and i had no

he was failing in school and i had no idea why

and then he said it's because i'm still

and then he said it's because i'm still

and then he said it's because i'm still luca

luca

luca and at that point i said

and at that point i said

and at that point i said fine feluca

fine feluca

fine feluca [Music]

[Music]

[Music] i don't know it felt like they were

i don't know it felt like they were

i don't know it felt like they were being unsupportive but looking back on

being unsupportive but looking back on

being unsupportive but looking back on it they were really just

it they were really just

it they were really just confused and upset

you want to see the pictures

you want to see the pictures

you want to see the pictures they're giving examples of cards and

they're giving examples of cards and

they're giving examples of cards and stuff but this is a picture

that's cute

that's cute

that's cute but the grandparents are not going to

but the grandparents are not going to

but the grandparents are not going to want any pictures so we don't really

want any pictures so we don't really

want any pictures so we don't really have to get water

have to get water

have to get water pictures

pictures

pictures because they hate us

because i don't think that i don't know

because i don't think that i don't know

because i don't think that i don't know if they're gonna

if they're gonna

if they're gonna i don't know maybe grammy will or grammy

i don't know maybe grammy will or grammy

i don't know maybe grammy will or grammy helen

helen

helen i can guarantee you that my parents

i can guarantee you that my parents

i can guarantee you that my parents won't want one because they don't even

won't want one because they don't even

won't want one because they don't even want to see ren so

want to see ren so

want to see ren so why they want to see a picture why why

why they want to see a picture why why

why they want to see a picture why why didn't they all assist me

it was a tough year

one of the hardest things was thinking

one of the hardest things was thinking

one of the hardest things was thinking since both kids were transgender that

since both kids were transgender that

since both kids were transgender that people would be less accepting of either

people would be less accepting of either

people would be less accepting of either of them

of them

of them that people would think that ren just

that people would think that ren just

that people would think that ren just was emulating luca

was emulating luca

was emulating luca and then they would blame luca

and then they would blame luca

and then they would blame luca for

for

for influencing ren

influencing ren

influencing ren and this did happen in some of the

and this did happen in some of the

and this did happen in some of the extended family

extended family

extended family they would talk to me and we'd have

they would talk to me and we'd have

they would talk to me and we'd have these awkward conversations where they

these awkward conversations where they

these awkward conversations where they would be saying

would be saying

would be saying they know that i'm just trying to be a

they know that i'm just trying to be a

they know that i'm just trying to be a good parent but there are better ways to

good parent but there are better ways to

good parent but there are better ways to parent than to let your

parent than to let your

parent than to let your child change gender and is this a phase

child change gender and is this a phase

child change gender and is this a phase and couldn't they just be gay and things

and couldn't they just be gay and things

and couldn't they just be gay and things like that

like that

like that well no that's not

well no that's not

well no that's not it's not really our choice

it's not really our choice

it's not really our choice i worry

i worry

i worry about the kids

about the kids

about the kids and there's a strain on our family

and there's a strain on our family

and there's a strain on our family that goes beyond normal

that goes beyond normal

that goes beyond normal young adulthood

every family has those challenges but

every family has those challenges but

every family has those challenges but then we have this extra layer

then we have this extra layer

then we have this extra layer sometimes it's just

sometimes it's just

sometimes it's just a big struggle

well it's gonna be a scorcher today here

well it's gonna be a scorcher today here

well it's gonna be a scorcher today here in coastal connecticut with temperatures

in coastal connecticut with temperatures

in coastal connecticut with temperatures reaching into the 90s so stay hydrated

reaching into the 90s so stay hydrated

reaching into the 90s so stay hydrated folks the race is also heating up for

folks the race is also heating up for

folks the race is also heating up for the 2016 presidential election now

the 2016 presidential election now

the 2016 presidential election now according to polls hillary clinton is

according to polls hillary clinton is

according to polls hillary clinton is holding a narrow lead against donald

holding a narrow lead against donald

holding a narrow lead against donald trump with gary johnson coming in a

trump with gary johnson coming in a

trump with gary johnson coming in a distant third both candidates are

distant third both candidates are

distant third both candidates are gearing up for next month's debates and

gearing up for next month's debates and

gearing up for next month's debates and the theory is the hot topic will be i

the theory is the hot topic will be i

the theory is the hot topic will be i wonder how long it will take for

wonder how long it will take for

wonder how long it will take for uh bella and kalia too

uh bella and kalia too

uh bella and kalia too yeah you know i didn't hear back from

yeah you know i didn't hear back from

yeah you know i didn't hear back from their mom this morning so

their mom this morning so

their mom this morning so i definitely hope they come too

you know sometimes people get pretty

you know sometimes people get pretty

you know sometimes people get pretty busy in the summer

busy in the summer

busy in the summer i want to just go as soon as i finish

i want to just go as soon as i finish

i want to just go as soon as i finish well give us a few minutes and i'll talk

well give us a few minutes and i'll talk

well give us a few minutes and i'll talk to people and see if they're ready to go

to people and see if they're ready to go

to people and see if they're ready to go because maybe we'll all go back up

ren's had a really hard time this year

but she doesn't make friends very easily

but she doesn't make friends very easily

but she doesn't make friends very easily and that gives her anxiety

right now she doesn't have any friends

right now she doesn't have any friends

right now she doesn't have any friends in her class

in her class

in her class she does have a couple friends on the

she does have a couple friends on the

she does have a couple friends on the bus

she just struggles

she just struggles

she just struggles [Music]

friend doesn't

friend doesn't

friend doesn't tell us much

tell us much

tell us much she's very independent and she likes to

she's very independent and she likes to

she's very independent and she likes to try and take care of things herself

and this can be a difficulty sometimes

and this can be a difficulty sometimes

and this can be a difficulty sometimes i was being

i was being

i was being bullied for a while

bullied for a while

bullied for a while i don't really know why they were going

i don't really know why they were going

i don't really know why they were going after me

after me

after me though they singled me out

though they singled me out

though they singled me out and i was trying to deal with that for

and i was trying to deal with that for

and i was trying to deal with that for as long as i could before it was really

as long as i could before it was really

as long as i could before it was really necessary to

necessary to

necessary to have someone intervene

have someone intervene

have someone intervene i asked her if it had to do with her

i asked her if it had to do with her

i asked her if it had to do with her being trans and she said for three of

being trans and she said for three of

being trans and she said for three of them it did but she talked to them

them it did but she talked to them

them it did but she talked to them and two of them stopped but one would

and two of them stopped but one would

and two of them stopped but one would curse at her and call her names

someone was physically attacking me at

someone was physically attacking me at

someone was physically attacking me at one point they actually

one point they actually

one point they actually tried to choke me for some reason

tried to choke me for some reason

tried to choke me for some reason ended up reporting it

we had a meeting then with the school

we had a meeting then with the school

we had a meeting then with the school the next day

the next day

the next day she had talked to the kids first herself

she had talked to the kids first herself

she had talked to the kids first herself and i said that's very courageous but

and i said that's very courageous but

and i said that's very courageous but in a situation like that you need to

in a situation like that you need to

in a situation like that you need to tell an adult

tell an adult

tell an adult you don't have to handle this all by

you don't have to handle this all by

you don't have to handle this all by yourself

i just wish that they could just feel

i just wish that they could just feel

i just wish that they could just feel more sympathetic and

more sympathetic and

more sympathetic and then that would cause less bullying and

then that would cause less bullying and

then that would cause less bullying and discrimination if they knew

discrimination if they knew

discrimination if they knew what it was like

[Music]

this

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] depression is like

depression is like

depression is like it's not really being sad so much as

it's not really being sad so much as

it's not really being sad so much as like blankness

you're just not really anything

during the period of time when i was

during the period of time when i was

during the period of time when i was really depressed i just didn't

really depressed i just didn't

really depressed i just didn't draw at all

draw at all

draw at all even though that's one of my favorite

even though that's one of my favorite

even though that's one of my favorite things to do and i just like i didn't

things to do and i just like i didn't

things to do and i just like i didn't really have the motivation to do

really have the motivation to do

really have the motivation to do anything

when he was 14 around thanksgiving time

when he was 14 around thanksgiving time

when he was 14 around thanksgiving time he had

he had

he had taken an overdose of aspirin

from 14 to 15

from 14 to 15

from 14 to 15 he didn't laugh anymore

i don't know how much that has to do

i don't know how much that has to do

i don't know how much that has to do with the body dysphoria or just the

with the body dysphoria or just the

with the body dysphoria or just the anxiety and depression of being a teen

when he first came home from the

when he first came home from the

when he first came home from the hospital it was a tense time

hospital it was a tense time

hospital it was a tense time we just knew he was on the edge

he was cutting himself and and i know

he was cutting himself and and i know

he was cutting himself and and i know that that is a common thing among

that that is a common thing among

that that is a common thing among gender

gender

gender questioning kids

cutting will raise endorphins in the

cutting will raise endorphins in the

cutting will raise endorphins in the body and it gives a sense of control

i think he still cuts himself but rarely

i think he still cuts himself but rarely

i think he still cuts himself but rarely now

he goes to therapy and he still sees a

he goes to therapy and he still sees a

he goes to therapy and he still sees a psychiatrist and he still takes

psychiatrist and he still takes

psychiatrist and he still takes medications and so long as he's doing

medications and so long as he's doing

medications and so long as he's doing those things and learning coping skills

if that's what he needs to do to cope so

if that's what he needs to do to cope so

if that's what he needs to do to cope so that he's not going to take an overdose

cutting looks really bad

cutting looks really bad

cutting looks really bad but it's a completely survivable

but it's a completely survivable

but it's a completely survivable coping mechanism

oh you know it is chilly

oh you know it is chilly

oh you know it is chilly glad to have a coat

all right

[Music]

i don't really like people knowing my

i don't really like people knowing my

i don't really like people knowing my birth name because

birth name because

birth name because i want people to know me just as luca

i want people to know me just as luca

i want people to know me just as luca and nothing else

and nothing else

and nothing else and even if they're respectful enough to

and even if they're respectful enough to

and even if they're respectful enough to not call me my birth name if they know

not call me my birth name if they know

not call me my birth name if they know it i don't want it to be something in

it i don't want it to be something in

it i don't want it to be something in the back of their head

i never felt i lost a daughter and

i never felt i lost a daughter and

i never felt i lost a daughter and gained a son although i suppose i'd lost

gained a son although i suppose i'd lost

gained a son although i suppose i'd lost a daughter and came to son and well vice

a daughter and came to son and well vice

a daughter and came to son and well vice versa but

versa but

versa but i think shelly had more of a loss

i think shelly had more of a loss

i think shelly had more of a loss attached to that

attached to that

attached to that are you guys hungry for lunch

are you guys hungry for lunch

are you guys hungry for lunch oh we have coupons for denny's chili had

oh we have coupons for denny's chili had

oh we have coupons for denny's chili had chosen both of our children's birth

chosen both of our children's birth

chosen both of our children's birth names

names

names they had shelly's name and then they had

they had shelly's name and then they had

they had shelly's name and then they had their own name that they chose

it was just difficult at first

it was just difficult at first

it was just difficult at first especially with luca

there was a period of time where i would

there was a period of time where i would

there was a period of time where i would just start to cry if i even thought his

just start to cry if i even thought his

just start to cry if i even thought his first name

first name

first name and didn't want to see pictures or any

and didn't want to see pictures or any

and didn't want to see pictures or any of that it was just all really

of that it was just all really

of that it was just all really disturbing to me

it had nothing to do with not wanting

it had nothing to do with not wanting

it had nothing to do with not wanting him to be who he was

he was just grieving

he was just grieving

he was just grieving can you get me the ipad it was

can you get me the ipad it was

can you get me the ipad it was a really confusing time

a really confusing time

a really confusing time okay luka pass that to ren

okay luka pass that to ren

okay luka pass that to ren please

stop

stop

stop holding it just out of my reach

i don't know how to raise a son i mean

i don't know how to raise a son i mean

i don't know how to raise a son i mean this is really more of chris's purview

this is really more of chris's purview

this is really more of chris's purview but chris doesn't really worry about

but chris doesn't really worry about

but chris doesn't really worry about things i do all the worrying so

things i do all the worrying so

things i do all the worrying so that's how that works out

that's how that works out

that's how that works out [Music]

uh i don't know if we still have it

uh i don't know if we still have it

uh i don't know if we still have it but we probably do

but we probably do

but we probably do sure

sure

sure [Music]

we went to our first family fun weekend

we went to our first family fun weekend

we went to our first family fun weekend about a year ago

we felt very strange at first

having two kids who were transgender

having two kids who were transgender

having two kids who were transgender just thought you know is there something

just thought you know is there something

just thought you know is there something wrong with us

wrong with us

wrong with us one of the great things about having an

one of the great things about having an

one of the great things about having an opportunity like this is you get to

opportunity like this is you get to

opportunity like this is you get to connect with people that you might not

connect with people that you might not

connect with people that you might not otherwise have the opportunity to

otherwise have the opportunity to

otherwise have the opportunity to connect with and talk about things in a

connect with and talk about things in a

connect with and talk about things in a safe space where you can say anything

safe space where you can say anything

safe space where you can say anything you want

you want

you want you know there may be a lot of moms and

you know there may be a lot of moms and

you know there may be a lot of moms and dads out there who have so many

dads out there who have so many

dads out there who have so many questions about how you came to those

questions about how you came to those

questions about how you came to those decisions

decisions

decisions and then we met other parents and

and then we met other parents and

and then we met other parents and saw that about one in six families had

saw that about one in six families had

saw that about one in six families had more than one child who was on the

more than one child who was on the

more than one child who was on the gender spectrum so that was really great

gender spectrum so that was really great

gender spectrum so that was really great because we didn't feel so odd got a head

because we didn't feel so odd got a head

because we didn't feel so odd got a head start with tavish being assigned male at

start with tavish being assigned male at

start with tavish being assigned male at birth but now with dragon assigned

birth but now with dragon assigned

birth but now with dragon assigned female at birth i'm expecting maybe some

female at birth i'm expecting maybe some

female at birth i'm expecting maybe some different issues so i'm jody um mom of

different issues so i'm jody um mom of

different issues so i'm jody um mom of five three sorry four cisgendered and

five three sorry four cisgendered and

five three sorry four cisgendered and one trans

one trans

one trans been coming for a long time as well

been coming for a long time as well

been coming for a long time as well really enjoy it and i think i want all

really enjoy it and i think i want all

really enjoy it and i think i want all my kids to see

my kids to see

my kids to see other people with just bodies

other people with just bodies

other people with just bodies that are varied

that are varied

that are varied shapes and presentations

shapes and presentations

shapes and presentations um chris i'm here with uh my son luca

um chris i'm here with uh my son luca

um chris i'm here with uh my son luca and my daughter

and my daughter

and my daughter wren last year coming here was a very

wren last year coming here was a very

wren last year coming here was a very pivotal moment i'm just excited to be

pivotal moment i'm just excited to be

pivotal moment i'm just excited to be here this year

here this year

here this year i'm shelley last year i was just in this

i'm shelley last year i was just in this

i'm shelley last year i was just in this group crying and

group crying and

group crying and this year i feel like

this year i feel like

this year i feel like i have a you know my feet on the ground

i have a you know my feet on the ground

i have a you know my feet on the ground so

so

so i think it's important to always

i think it's important to always

i think it's important to always you know come back when your feet are on

you know come back when your feet are on

you know come back when your feet are on the ground and when they're not so

the ground and when they're not so

the ground and when they're not so we talk about up until junior high and

we talk about up until junior high and

we talk about up until junior high and whether you're cisgender or transgender

whether you're cisgender or transgender

whether you're cisgender or transgender junior high is just terrible years

junior high is just terrible years

junior high is just terrible years i don't know if there really is a fix

i don't know if there really is a fix

i don't know if there really is a fix for junior high

the political climate has really changed

the political climate has really changed

the political climate has really changed with lack of tolerance and hate that's

with lack of tolerance and hate that's

with lack of tolerance and hate that's going on in our country it's a scary

going on in our country it's a scary

going on in our country it's a scary time

all of a sudden everybody has an opinion

all of a sudden everybody has an opinion

all of a sudden everybody has an opinion on whether or not my kid should be on

on whether or not my kid should be on

on whether or not my kid should be on blockers or not sometimes i just don't

blockers or not sometimes i just don't

blockers or not sometimes i just don't have it in me

have it in me

have it in me to be that front man

to be that front man

to be that front man recently i went to church

recently i went to church

recently i went to church and i just kind of cried there was a

and i just kind of cried there was a

and i just kind of cried there was a female pastor she gave me the saying

female pastor she gave me the saying

female pastor she gave me the saying which i've been holding on to i woman

which i've been holding on to i woman

which i've been holding on to i woman control this spot

control this spot

control this spot and not this around us not friends not

and not this around us not friends not

and not this around us not friends not politics not school

politics not school

politics not school not your kids

not your kids

not your kids not the hormone we don't none of it

not the hormone we don't none of it

not the hormone we don't none of it nothing we can control nothing

nothing we can control nothing

nothing we can control nothing but i won't control this spot this body

but i won't control this spot this body

but i won't control this spot this body this flesh is hard and that's all we can

this flesh is hard and that's all we can

this flesh is hard and that's all we can do

[Music]

last year we came here for luca's sake

and luca actually had a terrible time

he wasn't doing hormones or anything a

he wasn't doing hormones or anything a

he wasn't doing hormones or anything a lot of the other teen boys were much

lot of the other teen boys were much

lot of the other teen boys were much further in transition

further in transition

further in transition so he really felt out of place he just

so he really felt out of place he just

so he really felt out of place he just wanted to stay in the room by himself

wanted to stay in the room by himself

wanted to stay in the room by himself last year

but then on the other hand

but then on the other hand

but then on the other hand ben was making friends and doing all

ben was making friends and doing all

ben was making friends and doing all these things that she had not done

these things that she had not done

these things that she had not done before

ven's always been very very anxious and

ven's always been very very anxious and

ven's always been very very anxious and it just went away for the

it just went away for the

it just went away for the weekend i tried to have some things that

weekend i tried to have some things that

weekend i tried to have some things that i darkened

i darkened

i darkened yet some which

yet some which

yet some which still bring joy

she was so happy here and she said she

she was so happy here and she said she

she was so happy here and she said she wanted to be a girl full-time rather

wanted to be a girl full-time rather

wanted to be a girl full-time rather than just at home

than just at home

than just at home so as soon as we got back we called the

so as soon as we got back we called the

so as soon as we got back we called the school and started that process

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] pageant day all contestants should

pageant day all contestants should

pageant day all contestants should arrive at 9 30.

arrive at 9 30.

arrive at 9 30. 9 30 is the time to start getting ready

9 30 is the time to start getting ready

9 30 is the time to start getting ready it gets

it gets

it gets hectic in the dressing room like hectic

hectic in the dressing room like hectic

hectic in the dressing room like hectic hectic there's so many people in there

hectic there's so many people in there

hectic there's so many people in there everyone's trying to get dressed

everyone's trying to get dressed

everyone's trying to get dressed everyone's trying to get changed only so

everyone's trying to get changed only so

everyone's trying to get changed only so many outlets so

many outlets so

many outlets so try to do as much of the prep at home as

try to do as much of the prep at home as

try to do as much of the prep at home as you can and then you have to be on stage

you can and then you have to be on stage

you can and then you have to be on stage for the little miss wesley padre and i

for the little miss wesley padre and i

for the little miss wesley padre and i hope she's gonna win

i don't know she

i don't know she

i don't know she is really pretty

is really pretty

is really pretty so

so

so yeah

yeah

yeah i think she'll have a lot of fun with it

i think she'll have a lot of fun with it

i think she'll have a lot of fun with it on the checklist as would you march

on the checklist as would you march

on the checklist as would you march first go in your folder there's a forum

first go in your folder there's a forum

first go in your folder there's a forum for t-shirts

for t-shirts

for t-shirts i am excited yet also very nervous

i am excited yet also very nervous

i am excited yet also very nervous a t-shirt for your child i

a t-shirt for your child i

a t-shirt for your child i would like to win it would be nice

would like to win it would be nice

would like to win it would be nice yeah a pageant day shirt

yeah a pageant day shirt

yeah a pageant day shirt luca wants me to work in that i'm

luca wants me to work in that i'm

luca wants me to work in that i'm transgender

transgender

transgender but

but

but i just don't particularly

i just don't particularly

i just don't particularly care whether they think that i'm cis or

care whether they think that i'm cis or

care whether they think that i'm cis or transgender long as they know that i'm a

transgender long as they know that i'm a

transgender long as they know that i'm a girl

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] there were smaller ones but i can't find

there were smaller ones but i can't find

there were smaller ones but i can't find them yeah there's one

them yeah there's one

them yeah there's one you guys are going to be late

you guys are going to be late

you guys are going to be late okay we'll just take that leave that all

okay we'll just take that leave that all

okay we'll just take that leave that all packed up you're fine

packed up you're fine

packed up you're fine [Music]

[Music]

[Music] you

hillary clinton and last night donald

hillary clinton and last night donald

hillary clinton and last night donald trump held a big rally in cincinnati

trump held a big rally in cincinnati

trump held a big rally in cincinnati almost every single pole

almost every single pole

almost every single pole had us winning against crooked hillary

had us winning against crooked hillary

had us winning against crooked hillary clinton

clinton

clinton big league

big league

big league awfully

i'm going to have my puberty blockers

i'm going to have my puberty blockers

i'm going to have my puberty blockers put in

i feel a bit nervous

my friend bridget who had the implant in

my friend bridget who had the implant in

my friend bridget who had the implant in april

april

april called this morning and helped reassure

called this morning and helped reassure

called this morning and helped reassure me about it

i don't want to have a puberty because i

i don't want to have a puberty because i

i don't want to have a puberty because i just

just

just i

i

i really don't want a girl beard or

really don't want a girl beard or

really don't want a girl beard or something

something

something to

to

to have my voice deepen

things like that

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] stop that stop that oh

stop that stop that oh

stop that stop that oh so annoying

so annoying

so annoying i'm sorry i can't know you just don't do

i'm sorry i can't know you just don't do

i'm sorry i can't know you just don't do annoying things

annoying things

annoying things how are we doing

how are we doing

how are we doing huh

you're looking at lion sheep

you're looking at lion sheep

you're looking at lion sheep oh flying sheep i thought you said lying

oh flying sheep i thought you said lying

oh flying sheep i thought you said lying sheep and i was waiting for the color to

sheep and i was waiting for the color to

sheep and i was waiting for the color to be lying

be lying

be lying i'm gonna be the nurse in the back i

i'm gonna be the nurse in the back i

i'm gonna be the nurse in the back i just wanted to come ask a couple

just wanted to come ask a couple

just wanted to come ask a couple questions now is it pronounced angelus

questions now is it pronounced angelus

questions now is it pronounced angelus um angelus by ren though ren okay

um angelus by ren though ren okay

um angelus by ren though ren okay all right my friend we're just gonna set

all right my friend we're just gonna set

all right my friend we're just gonna set up and i will see you in the back

up and i will see you in the back

up and i will see you in the back shortly okay

shortly okay

shortly okay all right hey nice to meet you we

all right hey nice to meet you we

all right hey nice to meet you we haven't met i'm emily

that looks like a llama yeah i was gonna

that looks like a llama yeah i was gonna

that looks like a llama yeah i was gonna say that looks much much more like a

say that looks much much more like a

say that looks much much more like a llama than a sheep

llama than a sheep

llama than a sheep do you have any questions for me

do you have any questions for me

do you have any questions for me about what we're going to do today

about what we're going to do today

about what we're going to do today um i think i understand

um i think i understand

um i think i understand it will at least temporarily stop the

it will at least temporarily stop the

it will at least temporarily stop the male hormones okay all right

male hormones okay all right

male hormones okay all right i'm going to quickly though

i'm going to quickly though

i'm going to quickly though before

before

before no wait take a finish talking to the

no wait take a finish talking to the

no wait take a finish talking to the surgeon before you play your game i

surgeon before you play your game i

surgeon before you play your game i wasn't going to play the game i was

wasn't going to play the game i was

wasn't going to play the game i was going to look at pictures of cats

going to look at pictures of cats

going to look at pictures of cats do you guys have any questions at all

do you guys have any questions at all

do you guys have any questions at all no

no

no so tiny little incision in the arm the

so tiny little incision in the arm the

so tiny little incision in the arm the whole thing takes about five minutes

whole thing takes about five minutes

whole thing takes about five minutes it's water resistant but not waterproof

it's water resistant but not waterproof

it's water resistant but not waterproof it won't be uncomfortable at all and um

it won't be uncomfortable at all and um

it won't be uncomfortable at all and um we'll meet again in two years to discuss

we'll meet again in two years to discuss

we'll meet again in two years to discuss whether we should take it out and switch

whether we should take it out and switch

whether we should take it out and switch it over or just take it out or whatever

it over or just take it out or whatever

it over or just take it out or whatever okay i'll see you in a few minutes okay

okay i'll see you in a few minutes okay

okay i'll see you in a few minutes okay fine i'll look at this picture

it's a relief

and it takes a lot of anxiety off of her

and it takes a lot of anxiety off of her

and it takes a lot of anxiety off of her as well

things aren't starting to unfold at the

things aren't starting to unfold at the

things aren't starting to unfold at the right time for them and for us

before any kind of physical medical

before any kind of physical medical

before any kind of physical medical interventions took place there was the

interventions took place there was the

interventions took place there was the mental medical interventions

discussion with their therapists and

discussion with their therapists and

discussion with their therapists and discussion with psychologists

as we were kind of wrapping our heads

as we were kind of wrapping our heads

as we were kind of wrapping our heads around we didn't know if it was

around we didn't know if it was

around we didn't know if it was something permanent or maybe it was a

something permanent or maybe it was a

something permanent or maybe it was a phase and we weren't quite sure yet

phase and we weren't quite sure yet

phase and we weren't quite sure yet by the time we were making those

by the time we were making those

by the time we were making those decisions we were convinced that the

decisions we were convinced that the

decisions we were convinced that the children's affirmed genders are their

children's affirmed genders are their

children's affirmed genders are their genders

that's who they are and that's how

that's who they are and that's how

that's who they are and that's how they're going to be happier

they're going to be happier

they're going to be happier she's so pretty if she

she's so pretty if she

she's so pretty if she if she was nicer she could be a model

if she was nicer she could be a model

if she was nicer she could be a model the puberty blocker was something that

the puberty blocker was something that

the puberty blocker was something that if it was taken out it would just be a

if it was taken out it would just be a

if it was taken out it would just be a short delay

short delay

short delay well the concerns around that are around

well the concerns around that are around

well the concerns around that are around the bone development

the bone development

the bone development when we try to supplement with calcium

when we try to supplement with calcium

when we try to supplement with calcium and with some exercise

and with some exercise

and with some exercise with luca and the testosterone is a bit

with luca and the testosterone is a bit

with luca and the testosterone is a bit more of a concern as just there are

more of a concern as just there are

more of a concern as just there are irreversible side effects

but the benefits far far outweigh any

but the benefits far far outweigh any

but the benefits far far outweigh any drawbacks that could come as a result

when we got started we have this fear

when we got started we have this fear

when we got started we have this fear that it's all going to be about gender

that it's all going to be about gender

that it's all going to be about gender all the time

all the time

all the time and after a fairly short amount of time

and after a fairly short amount of time

and after a fairly short amount of time it turns out not to be that

it turns out not to be that

it turns out not to be that they're just kids

they're just kids

they're just kids being kids

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] kids are getting ready for miss westy

kids are getting ready for miss westy

kids are getting ready for miss westy trying luca's dresses from when he was

trying luca's dresses from when he was

trying luca's dresses from when he was still living as a girl

still living as a girl

still living as a girl okay you guys ready for red yep outfit

okay you guys ready for red yep outfit

okay you guys ready for red yep outfit number one

number one

number one you look so cute

i'm sending that to my streaks from

i'm sending that to my streaks from

i'm sending that to my streaks from what the hell are you doing

what the hell are you doing

what the hell are you doing just stretching

just stretching

just stretching i think she should go with one that has

i think she should go with one that has

i think she should go with one that has like sleeves like short sleeves or

like sleeves like short sleeves or

like sleeves like short sleeves or something but we have that little jacket

something but we have that little jacket

something but we have that little jacket that puts that you had to go with this

that puts that you had to go with this

that puts that you had to go with this one

one

one also i don't see the one you're holding

also i don't see the one you're holding

also i don't see the one you're holding up but

it was intense doing little miss westy

it was intense doing little miss westy

it was intense doing little miss westy with luca we had to get just the right

with luca we had to get just the right

with luca we had to get just the right outfits i have a white dress

outfits i have a white dress

outfits i have a white dress yeah yeah i know but that's not a fancy

yeah yeah i know but that's not a fancy

yeah yeah i know but that's not a fancy dress

dress

dress no this is not okay whatever never mind

no this is not okay whatever never mind

no this is not okay whatever never mind no it's not sparkly enough kind of thing

no it's not sparkly enough kind of thing

no it's not sparkly enough kind of thing with a little blue jacket we're good

so it's a different experience with red

so it's a different experience with red

so it's a different experience with red i can do this with or without the jacket

i can do this with or without the jacket

i can do this with or without the jacket with

with

with okay

okay

okay i like that one better

i like that one better

i like that one better yeah it is nicer

if you do those poses for the pageant

if you do those poses for the pageant

if you do those poses for the pageant they're going to kick you out

they're going to kick you out

they're going to kick you out just ren's kind of like

just ren's kind of like

just ren's kind of like can i just wear my pusheen pajamas

can i just wear my pusheen pajamas

can i just wear my pusheen pajamas it's plausible that they won't kick her

it's plausible that they won't kick her

it's plausible that they won't kick her out but it's possible that they will

hey you want to play some of your piano

hey you want to play some of your piano

hey you want to play some of your piano okay

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] she's nervous about what she will do for

she's nervous about what she will do for

she's nervous about what she will do for this talent and it's basically

this talent and it's basically

this talent and it's basically something that she's made up

something that she's made up

something that she's made up [Music]

[Music]

[Music] for ren

for ren

for ren the takeaway is a little bit of

the takeaway is a little bit of

the takeaway is a little bit of confidence she can tend to be very very

confidence she can tend to be very very

confidence she can tend to be very very shy

shy

shy [Music]

[Music]

[Music] mainly i'd like them to have fun

[Music]

[Music]

is

oh my gosh

oh my gosh

oh my gosh time magazine named donald trump person

time magazine named donald trump person

time magazine named donald trump person of the year

does it necessarily mean

does it necessarily mean

does it necessarily mean it's not necessarily good person of the

it's not necessarily good person of the

it's not necessarily good person of the year it's just

year it's just

year it's just the most

the most

the most most iconic person of the year

most iconic person of the year

most iconic person of the year i said it better than

we went to our support group for the

we went to our support group for the

we went to our support group for the parents of trans kids and the guy who

parents of trans kids and the guy who

parents of trans kids and the guy who facilitates he said that the night of

facilitates he said that the night of

facilitates he said that the night of the election his

the election his

the election his phone basically turned into a suicide

phone basically turned into a suicide

phone basically turned into a suicide hotline

hotline

hotline because pence is pro-conversion therapy

because pence is pro-conversion therapy

because pence is pro-conversion therapy which is basically electrocuting lgbt

which is basically electrocuting lgbt

which is basically electrocuting lgbt kids

kids

kids so you know a lot of really really

so you know a lot of really really

so you know a lot of really really scared kids

told us then you've got to try and get

told us then you've got to try and get

told us then you've got to try and get the federal documents done

the federal documents done

the federal documents done then we found out about this emergency

then we found out about this emergency

then we found out about this emergency gender marker changing clinic right in

gender marker changing clinic right in

gender marker changing clinic right in new haven

new haven

new haven nice to meet

um there'll be some medical students

um there'll be some medical students

um there'll be some medical students that will sit with you to help you fill

that will sit with you to help you fill

that will sit with you to help you fill out some paperwork okay hot off the

out some paperwork okay hot off the

out some paperwork okay hot off the presses their name change was this

presses their name change was this

presses their name change was this morning so we'll try to get you in about

morning so we'll try to get you in about

morning so we'll try to get you in about as fast as possible because you look

as fast as possible because you look

as fast as possible because you look like you're ready to go home

like you're ready to go home

like you're ready to go home everybody's scrambling to get this

everybody's scrambling to get this

everybody's scrambling to get this paperwork done before the inauguration

paperwork done before the inauguration

paperwork done before the inauguration because everybody's afraid of what might

because everybody's afraid of what might

because everybody's afraid of what might happen which young person

um so

um so

um so let me get you two coffees then chris

let me get you two coffees then chris

let me get you two coffees then chris you'll fill it out for

you'll fill it out for

you'll fill it out for you can do ren and i'll do luca

you can do ren and i'll do luca

you can do ren and i'll do luca okay i hate filling out forms i always

okay i hate filling out forms i always

okay i hate filling out forms i always make mistakes that one can go to

make mistakes that one can go to

make mistakes that one can go to uh this one over here should i be using

uh this one over here should i be using

uh this one over here should i be using her new name

her new name

her new name yes all of the records would be an old

yes all of the records would be an old

yes all of the records would be an old name um

name um

name um the new name

the new name

the new name no you spelled it wrong

no you spelled it wrong

no you spelled it wrong stop that

stop that

stop that what does the name say on all your other

what does the name say on all your other

what does the name say on all your other history well so i i only filled out new

history well so i i only filled out new

history well so i i only filled out new name and former name

name and former name

name and former name and i have name change form uh

and i have name change form uh

and i have name change form uh letters oh you do yes oh okay then put

letters oh you do yes oh okay then put

letters oh you do yes oh okay then put the name oh yeah that's right it we only

the name oh yeah that's right it we only

the name oh yeah that's right it we only changed it today soon i think that it's

changed it today soon i think that it's

changed it today soon i think that it's still there yeah yeah

still there yeah yeah

still there yeah yeah okay and are we doing a picture here or

okay and are we doing a picture here or

okay and are we doing a picture here or yeah we can do the picture

yeah we can do the picture

yeah we can do the picture leaving our eyes open for pictures

good job all right next

good job all right next

good job all right next what do passports cost like a hundred

what do passports cost like a hundred

what do passports cost like a hundred wait we have to pay for them

hey that was a nice picture of you okay

thank you so much it's scary but

thank you so much it's scary but

thank you so much it's scary but you just tell your kids

you just tell your kids

you just tell your kids that

that

that you're going to take care of them

you're going to take care of them

you're going to take care of them you're going to protect them

you're going to protect them

you're going to protect them there's nothing for them to worry about

and meanwhile in the background you try

and meanwhile in the background you try

and meanwhile in the background you try and get all these things done that you

and get all these things done that you

and get all these things done that you can

can

can [Music]

her favorite color is purple

her favorite color is purple

her favorite color is purple or we could get our own white one

or we could get our own white one

or we could get our own white one whichever one is pretty

what's the difference between lavender

what's the difference between lavender

what's the difference between lavender and lila

and lila

and lila let's see

let's see

let's see lilac as it's a dustier color hello

lilac as it's a dustier color hello

lilac as it's a dustier color hello my son needs a just a small simple

my son needs a just a small simple

my son needs a just a small simple flower for the girl he's taking to a

flower for the girl he's taking to a

flower for the girl he's taking to a dance did you have anything special in

dance did you have anything special in

dance did you have anything special in mine a rose a carnation um probably a

mine a rose a carnation um probably a

mine a rose a carnation um probably a carnation he was hoping for

carnation he was hoping for

carnation he was hoping for lavender

lavender

lavender colored but or white we'll take what we

colored but or white we'll take what we

colored but or white we'll take what we can do

can do

can do though i can just give her like a flower

though i can just give her like a flower

though i can just give her like a flower okay you want to leave it this long yeah

okay you want to leave it this long yeah

okay you want to leave it this long yeah okay you want some babies breath and

okay you want some babies breath and

okay you want some babies breath and greens with it

greens with it

greens with it yeah

yeah

yeah it'll make it pretty oh yeah okay

ryan already has enough cats

ryan already has enough cats

ryan already has enough cats this is cute okay but literally like how

this is cute okay but literally like how

this is cute okay but literally like how much is this because she would actually

much is this because she would actually

much is this because she would actually really love this dog

i'm not kidding

i'm not kidding

i'm not kidding she loves little cute things like this

she loves little cute things like this

she loves little cute things like this uh and also this

so put that in the refrigerator so it

so put that in the refrigerator so it

so put that in the refrigerator so it stays fresh

stays fresh

stays fresh well you don't have to put the stuffed

well you don't have to put the stuffed

well you don't have to put the stuffed animal in there

animal in there

animal in there you did well

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] oh luca what's the deal with the dance

oh luca what's the deal with the dance

oh luca what's the deal with the dance do you bring the ten dollars to school

do you bring the ten dollars to school

do you bring the ten dollars to school or to the dam

or to the dam

or to the dam okay

okay

okay are you still cold

are you still cold

are you still cold i am still cold so so put the heat on

i am still cold so so put the heat on

i am still cold so so put the heat on just don't put it like

just don't put it like

just don't put it like blasting

are you excited to be going to yale

are you excited to be going to yale

are you excited to be going to yale today

today

today yeah

yeah

yeah but like i mean i'd be more excited to

but like i mean i'd be more excited to

but like i mean i'd be more excited to find you for sure what was gonna happen

find you for sure what was gonna happen

find you for sure what was gonna happen you know if they don't give you hormones

you know if they don't give you hormones

you know if they don't give you hormones today that they will probably say well

today that they will probably say well

today that they will probably say well we'll look at you again in a couple

we'll look at you again in a couple

we'll look at you again in a couple months they're not going to just say no

months they're not going to just say no

months they're not going to just say no we're never giving you hormones yeah

we're never giving you hormones yeah

we're never giving you hormones yeah obviously i'm out of that but i want

obviously i'm out of that but i want

obviously i'm out of that but i want them to spit

you want a shot right not

you want a shot right not

you want a shot right not um because like i don't know like uh

um because like i don't know like uh

um because like i don't know like uh like the different options i think

like the different options i think

like the different options i think there's like a patch and

there's like a patch and

there's like a patch and gel and a shot i don't know the thing

gel and a shot i don't know the thing

gel and a shot i don't know the thing with the gel was once you put it on you

with the gel was once you put it on you

with the gel was once you put it on you can't touch anybody because you might

can't touch anybody because you might

can't touch anybody because you might get like testosterone in their system

get like testosterone in their system

get like testosterone in their system the shot works faster than the gel and

the shot works faster than the gel and

the shot works faster than the gel and the other thing anyway plus i don't want

the other thing anyway plus i don't want

the other thing anyway plus i don't want to not be able to touch anyone yeah i'm

to not be able to touch anyone yeah i'm

to not be able to touch anyone yeah i'm trying to remember the schedule of

trying to remember the schedule of

trying to remember the schedule of things so you don't start getting body

things so you don't start getting body

things so you don't start getting body hair for like six months muscles sooner

hair for like six months muscles sooner

hair for like six months muscles sooner right yeah and then body hair and then

right yeah and then body hair and then

right yeah and then body hair and then deeper voice was that like the same time

deeper voice was that like the same time

deeper voice was that like the same time as body hair yeah

as body hair yeah

as body hair yeah it's the first thing that happens is

it's the first thing that happens is

it's the first thing that happens is your period stops

your period stops

your period stops is that the first thing i think

is that the first thing i think

is that the first thing i think although i guess because the first two

although i guess because the first two

although i guess because the first two shots are not overlapping and it's going

shots are not overlapping and it's going

shots are not overlapping and it's going up and down you might still get a period

up and down you might still get a period

up and down you might still get a period when the testosterone is low

when the testosterone is low

when the testosterone is low not much is gonna happen after the first

not much is gonna happen after the first

not much is gonna happen after the first two shots anyway

two shots anyway

two shots anyway basically what i want to happen once i'm

basically what i want to happen once i'm

basically what i want to happen once i'm on t is to look like francis wilkerson

on t is to look like francis wilkerson

on t is to look like francis wilkerson from um

from um

from um in the middle

in the middle

in the middle he's obviously he's masculine but he's a

he's obviously he's masculine but he's a

he's obviously he's masculine but he's a little more feminine looking

little more feminine looking

little more feminine looking like i think that you probably

like i think that you probably

like i think that you probably will look a lot like him

will look a lot like him

will look a lot like him and i also want to have like facial hair

and i also want to have like facial hair

and i also want to have like facial hair and like a deeper voice on this i mean i

and like a deeper voice on this i mean i

and like a deeper voice on this i mean i would think though

would think though

would think though i'm just guessing that you would have

i'm just guessing that you would have

i'm just guessing that you would have similar characteristics to daddy

similar characteristics to daddy

similar characteristics to daddy but he's so ugly

but he's so ugly

but he's so ugly he's not ugly

he's not ugly

he's not ugly well that's who you're most likely to

well that's who you're most likely to

well that's who you're most likely to look like

look like

look like [Music]

huh

her mom like doesn't want us going to

her mom like doesn't want us going to

her mom like doesn't want us going to the dance together i guess

so like okay

once you're there aren't you kind of

once you're there aren't you kind of

once you're there aren't you kind of well i mean i like i can't give her the

well i mean i like i can't give her the

well i mean i like i can't give her the flower and the dog anymore because then

flower and the dog anymore because then

flower and the dog anymore because then she'll come home with it and her mom

she'll come home with it and her mom

she'll come home with it and her mom will be mad at me

well

well

well ask her if she still wants to be given

ask her if she still wants to be given

ask her if she still wants to be given the club

be texting her right now yeah obviously

so did she text you back yeah she said

so did she text you back yeah she said

so did she text you back yeah she said she's still on sleep

oh well that's good

does she know why her mom is

does she know why her mom is

does she know why her mom is playing this i don't understand what she

playing this i don't understand what she

playing this i don't understand what she has against me

has against me

has against me well

well

well if it was if she was from a religious

if it was if she was from a religious

if it was if she was from a religious family

family

family or iris might have something against you

or iris might have something against you

or iris might have something against you being trans

being trans

being trans she don't she's not from a religious

she don't she's not from a religious

she don't she's not from a religious family and she's always super accepting

family and she's always super accepting

family and she's always super accepting of me being trans

of me being trans

of me being trans and i thought iris liked me but like

and i thought iris liked me but like

and i thought iris liked me but like whatever

whatever

whatever yeah

yeah

yeah yeah it doesn't seem fair

yeah it doesn't seem fair

yeah it doesn't seem fair i mean it's not fair

i mean it's not fair

i mean it's not fair my mom says it's because she's leading

my mom says it's because she's leading

my mom says it's because she's leading me on

me on

me on and i was like i don't even like you

and i was like i don't even like you

and i was like i don't even like you like at all like that and she's like

like at all like that and she's like

like at all like that and she's like yeah i told my mom that

it's um

i mean i'm sorry to say but it's gonna

i mean i'm sorry to say but it's gonna

i mean i'm sorry to say but it's gonna be something that you're gonna

be something that you're gonna

be something that you're gonna face

face

face it's not because i'm trans okay i don't

it's not because i'm trans okay i don't

it's not because i'm trans okay i don't know

know

know oh my

oh my

oh my it's that's not why

it's that's not why

it's that's not why that has absolutely nothing to do with

that has absolutely nothing to do with

that has absolutely nothing to do with it so like

it so like

it so like shaving

shaving

shaving okay

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] so

so

so [Music]

[Music]

[Music] because it's

because it's

because it's should be playing right now

should be playing right now

should be playing right now it's showing minutes going by

it's not making any sound chris

it's not making any sound chris

it's not making any sound chris by the time he'd been on testosterone

by the time he'd been on testosterone

by the time he'd been on testosterone for a month

for a month

for a month he just went from like energy that was

he just went from like energy that was

he just went from like energy that was like this you know and and just tense

like this you know and and just tense

like this you know and and just tense and then after about a month of

and then after about a month of

and then after about a month of testosterone he just went from like up

testosterone he just went from like up

testosterone he just went from like up here to like ah like an exhale just down

here to like ah like an exhale just down

here to like ah like an exhale just down here

here

here i can't i can just text people so now we

i can't i can just text people so now we

i can't i can just text people so now we enjoy being around him

he's still a teenager so you know he

he's still a teenager so you know he

he's still a teenager so you know he still can be crabby and all of that

still can be crabby and all of that

still can be crabby and all of that stuff so if we're gonna get two pizzas

stuff so if we're gonna get two pizzas

stuff so if we're gonna get two pizzas but before when he would be in a bad

but before when he would be in a bad

but before when he would be in a bad mood

mood

mood we would be worried you know is this

we would be worried you know is this

we would be worried you know is this gonna be another visit to the psych

gonna be another visit to the psych

gonna be another visit to the psych board

um so we're gonna get started

um so we're gonna get started

um so we're gonna get started so we'll do

so we'll do

so we'll do you know name pronouns preferred

you know name pronouns preferred

you know name pronouns preferred pronouns i'm maeve i share her pronouns

pronouns i'm maeve i share her pronouns

pronouns i'm maeve i share her pronouns um

um

um highlight

a boy told me that i was statuesque and

a boy told me that i was statuesque and

a boy told me that i was statuesque and a raven beauty and i've never heard that

a raven beauty and i've never heard that

a raven beauty and i've never heard that before

before

before good it's great still nice to hear

good it's great still nice to hear

good it's great still nice to hear people don't like to be told they're

people don't like to be told they're

people don't like to be told they're transphobic even if they're being

transphobic even if they're being

transphobic even if they're being transphobic

transphobic

transphobic um i like to turn around and be like

um i like to turn around and be like

um i like to turn around and be like it's funny that you say yes queen to me

it's funny that you say yes queen to me

it's funny that you say yes queen to me because i'm not a drag queen you know

because i'm not a drag queen you know

because i'm not a drag queen you know drag queen deserves that i'm just being

drag queen deserves that i'm just being

drag queen deserves that i'm just being me

me

me luca he him

luca he him

luca he him my highlight is that

my highlight is that

my highlight is that yesterday i

yesterday i

yesterday i i had like i went to shake shack and

i had like i went to shake shack and

i had like i went to shake shack and then to sky zone with my friends i've

then to sky zone with my friends i've

then to sky zone with my friends i've been on testosterone for eight months

been on testosterone for eight months

been on testosterone for eight months and um my low light is

and um my low light is

and um my low light is that um i got my period or as i like to

that um i got my period or as i like to

that um i got my period or as i like to call my estrogen emergency twice in the

call my estrogen emergency twice in the

call my estrogen emergency twice in the past month

past month

past month who else

who else

who else oh go ahead um

oh go ahead um

oh go ahead um school has been like a really big

school has been like a really big

school has been like a really big challenge for me

challenge for me

challenge for me because um i feel really isolated from

because um i feel really isolated from

because um i feel really isolated from my peers

my peers

my peers i see these kids when they come in and i

i see these kids when they come in and i

i see these kids when they come in and i see

see

see how sad they can be or how

how sad they can be or how

how sad they can be or how depressed they are and how broken and

depressed they are and how broken and

depressed they are and how broken and beaten down they are and it's not

beaten down they are and it's not

beaten down they are and it's not because they're trans it's because

because they're trans it's because

because they're trans it's because people around them are telling them

people around them are telling them

people around them are telling them they're not

they're not

they're not and luca was struggling but today

and luca was struggling but today

and luca was struggling but today luca is this amazing human who is

luca is this amazing human who is

luca is this amazing human who is putting themselves out there to help

putting themselves out there to help

putting themselves out there to help people behind them that is huge about

people behind them that is huge about

people behind them that is huge about like being isolated at school and stuff

like being isolated at school and stuff

like being isolated at school and stuff and not being treated

and not being treated

and not being treated like a cis guy i know when i first came

like a cis guy i know when i first came

like a cis guy i know when i first came out like i kind of had the same problem

out like i kind of had the same problem

out like i kind of had the same problem that you did i think my next school year

that you did i think my next school year

that you did i think my next school year people will start seeing me and treating

people will start seeing me and treating

people will start seeing me and treating you differently like as the effects of

you differently like as the effects of

you differently like as the effects of tea

tea

tea keep coming i think it'll keep changing

keep coming i think it'll keep changing

keep coming i think it'll keep changing you know

i'm sure everyone here knows i know it's

i'm sure everyone here knows i know it's

i'm sure everyone here knows i know it's like to be isolated my whole high school

like to be isolated my whole high school

like to be isolated my whole high school experience was that

experience was that

experience was that um

um

um and i think a lot of trans people think

and i think a lot of trans people think

and i think a lot of trans people think that once they come out all of a sudden

that once they come out all of a sudden

that once they come out all of a sudden all these inner struggles end

all these inner struggles end

all these inner struggles end they simmer down but then that's when

they simmer down but then that's when

they simmer down but then that's when the real fight starts out in the real

the real fight starts out in the real

the real fight starts out in the real world that's when you have to start

world that's when you have to start

world that's when you have to start battling to be recognized as who you are

[Music]

what do you have to do to win a crown

what do you have to do to win a crown

what do you have to do to win a crown do you have to be first do you get one

do you have to be first do you get one

do you have to be first do you get one you're second they have ribbons for

you're second they have ribbons for

you're second they have ribbons for everything

everything

everything and then they have like what like first

and then they have like what like first

and then they have like what like first second they have bird crumbs they have

second they have bird crumbs they have

second they have bird crumbs they have the best talent the best costume and

the best talent the best costume and

the best talent the best costume and then they have the best overall which is

then they have the best overall which is

then they have the best overall which is the crime that's like this big

the crime that's like this big

the crime that's like this big i want a crown to put on my pusheen

i want a crown to put on my pusheen

i want a crown to put on my pusheen if you're talking about pusheens you're

if you're talking about pusheens you're

if you're talking about pusheens you're not going to win go get your the doctor

not going to win go get your the doctor

not going to win go get your the doctor who dress that we got

who dress that we got

who dress that we got that's the tardis from doctor who

that's the tardis from doctor who

that's the tardis from doctor who this is the for the personality section

this is the for the personality section

this is the for the personality section for the personality thing we should have

for the personality thing we should have

for the personality thing we should have dressed her up in like trans colors well

dressed her up in like trans colors well

dressed her up in like trans colors well that's what she was gonna do that um the

that's what she was gonna do that um the

that's what she was gonna do that um the the blow

the blow

the blow we're up

we're up

we're up seeing we're not

seeing we're not

seeing we're not we're trying to show them that she's

we're trying to show them that she's

we're trying to show them that she's trans i know you're committed to this

trans i know you're committed to this

trans i know you're committed to this right it's okay you can just have fun

right it's okay you can just have fun

right it's okay you can just have fun with it but luca's very serious about

with it but luca's very serious about

with it but luca's very serious about miss westy

i'm gonna call up something on google

i'm gonna call up something on google

i'm gonna call up something on google red and then you can um

red and then you can um

red and then you can um say pusheen

say pusheen

say pusheen so look what should i search for all

so look what should i search for all

so look what should i search for all right what do we got

right what do we got

right what do we got oh okay

oh okay

oh okay i can

i can

i can do it

do it

do it try middle school girl shoulder length

try middle school girl shoulder length

try middle school girl shoulder length hair

hair

hair or use it by the age

or use it by the age

or use it by the age these are hair styles not haircuts

these are hair styles not haircuts

these are hair styles not haircuts these are hairstyles not here so do the

these are hairstyles not here so do the

these are hairstyles not here so do the same thing but change it too you guys

same thing but change it too you guys

same thing but change it too you guys can look up here

can look up here

can look up here again

that is obviously photoshopped how about

that is obviously photoshopped how about

that is obviously photoshopped how about this but your hair is not oh

um

um

um you like that do you like that one

you like that do you like that one

you like that do you like that one it's kind of kind of floppy

it's kind of kind of floppy

it's kind of kind of floppy see i like this because it's like

see i like this because it's like

see i like this because it's like thinner do you like that

thinner do you like that

thinner do you like that that's like a 50 year old lady

wait wait wait wait

wait wait wait wait

wait wait wait wait oh

oh

oh okay but

okay but

okay but yeah it's right i hope you understand

yeah it's right i hope you understand

yeah it's right i hope you understand and i feel like you haven't understood

and i feel like you haven't understood

and i feel like you haven't understood this for a long time but that's a

this for a long time but that's a

this for a long time but that's a cartoon character

cartoon character

cartoon character i do understand i'm just saying that

i do understand i'm just saying that

i do understand i'm just saying that that is a good lane yeah that's a good

that is a good lane yeah that's a good

that is a good lane yeah that's a good length good

length good

length good what about like short with kind of wispy

what about like short with kind of wispy

what about like short with kind of wispy bangs like that the bangs look good

bangs like that the bangs look good

bangs like that the bangs look good yeah

yeah

yeah i like that too yeah we've made a

i like that too yeah we've made a

i like that too yeah we've made a decision

luca what did you do for ren's face

luca what did you do for ren's face

luca what did you do for ren's face let me see your makeup

let me see your makeup

let me see your makeup so i'm not gonna do her eyes and lips as

so i'm not gonna do her eyes and lips as

so i'm not gonna do her eyes and lips as dark as that because that was just for

dark as that because that was just for

dark as that because that was just for fun but

fun but

fun but can't i have a cat face

can't i have a cat face

can't i have a cat face the thing is i'm not allowed in the

the thing is i'm not allowed in the

the thing is i'm not allowed in the dressing rooms oh boys aren't allowed in

dressing rooms oh boys aren't allowed in

dressing rooms oh boys aren't allowed in the dressing room yeah so i can't be

the dressing room yeah so i can't be

the dressing room yeah so i can't be redoing your makeup you look like a

redoing your makeup you look like a

redoing your makeup you look like a model

model

model i didn't know it was you

i didn't know it was you

i didn't know it was you okay actually we do need someone to help

okay actually we do need someone to help

okay actually we do need someone to help fix its spine

fix its spine

fix its spine it's so creepy look at its head

it's so creepy look at its head

it's so creepy look at its head it looks like you broke it when luca

it looks like you broke it when luca

it looks like you broke it when luca competed in the pageant he was very

competed in the pageant he was very

competed in the pageant he was very disappointed when he didn't come back

disappointed when he didn't come back

disappointed when he didn't come back with the main trophy

with the main trophy

with the main trophy he's been so committed to

he's been so committed to

he's been so committed to winning

winning

winning he watched dance moms and he watched

he watched dance moms and he watched

he watched dance moms and he watched toddlers and tierras

toddlers and tierras

toddlers and tierras and this is where he's learned how to be

and this is where he's learned how to be

and this is where he's learned how to be a stage brother

a stage brother

a stage brother hey luca can you help renwork on some of

hey luca can you help renwork on some of

hey luca can you help renwork on some of her poses all her poses are this like i

her poses all her poses are this like i

her poses all her poses are this like i tried telling her like to

tried telling her like to

tried telling her like to not do that because it's weird but you

not do that because it's weird but you

not do that because it's weird but you know she doesn't care or listen so

know she doesn't care or listen so

know she doesn't care or listen so i mean if she wants to lose like it's

i mean if she wants to lose like it's

i mean if she wants to lose like it's whatever

whatever

whatever all right can does twirling count as a

all right can does twirling count as a

all right can does twirling count as a pose

pose

pose it does right all right so no not like

it does right all right so no not like

it does right all right so no not like that not so you fall over

that not so you fall over

that not so you fall over all right when you

all right when you

all right when you watch okay

watch okay

watch okay when you twirl

when you twirl

when you twirl look at one thing so you can look at

look at one thing so you can look at

look at one thing so you can look at someone in the audience i'm gonna look

someone in the audience i'm gonna look

someone in the audience i'm gonna look at mommy right

at mommy right

at mommy right okay and then keep looking at her and

okay and then keep looking at her and

okay and then keep looking at her and then turn around okay look at her almost

then turn around okay look at her almost

then turn around okay look at her almost the whole time and it helps you not you

the whole time and it helps you not you

the whole time and it helps you not you don't have to put your hands like that

no not like this i don't know why you're

no not like this i don't know why you're

no not like this i don't know why you're doing that you know what's weird the

doing that you know what's weird the

doing that you know what's weird the fact that i keep talking

fact that i keep talking

fact that i keep talking but she keeps not listening to me

but she keeps not listening to me

but she keeps not listening to me on your hip not your waist

does she not understand that she has to

does she not understand that she has to

does she not understand that she has to look pretty not crazy no just look at

look pretty not crazy no just look at

look pretty not crazy no just look at oh my god hip hip where is your hip

oh my god hip hip where is your hip

oh my god hip hip where is your hip that's your butt where is your hip ren

that's your butt where is your hip ren

that's your butt where is your hip ren pay attention

pay attention

pay attention as i turn my head is on her and i only

as i turn my head is on her and i only

as i turn my head is on her and i only stop looking at her

stop looking at her

stop looking at her when i turn

pay attention to me i was i i am trying

pay attention to me i was i i am trying

pay attention to me i was i i am trying to figure out what you're doing that's

to figure out what you're doing that's

to figure out what you're doing that's why i keep showing you and telling you

why i keep showing you and telling you

why i keep showing you and telling you but you're not paying attention don't

but you're not paying attention don't

but you're not paying attention don't stress out she doesn't have to twirl i'm

stress out she doesn't have to twirl i'm

stress out she doesn't have to twirl i'm not okay i was just saying oh my god

run

run

run

run i wasn't trying to be mean i just meant

i wasn't trying to be mean i just meant

i wasn't trying to be mean i just meant like it seemed like you weren't

like it seemed like you weren't

like it seemed like you weren't listening to me okay

listening to me okay

listening to me okay just come back out

just come back out

just come back out just that you're being very commanding

just that you're being very commanding

just that you're being very commanding and making me do it an exact way

and making me do it an exact way

and making me do it an exact way what poses do you want to do then

what poses do you want to do then

what poses do you want to do then because it's just a passion

because it's just a passion

because it's just a passion okay obviously she doesn't want to win

okay obviously she doesn't want to win

okay obviously she doesn't want to win so i i'm not going to help her anymore

so i i'm not going to help her anymore

so i i'm not going to help her anymore if she doesn't want to win then what's

if she doesn't want to win then what's

if she doesn't want to win then what's the point

all right friends

all right friends

all right friends get pajamas and you'll bring them up i

get pajamas and you'll bring them up i

get pajamas and you'll bring them up i will start the bath okay

she didn't like to take baths

she didn't like to take baths

she didn't like to take baths for years and years

for years and years

for years and years we didn't know why this was she was just

we didn't know why this was she was just

we didn't know why this was she was just very bad with the self-care

then at the parent support group

then at the parent support group

then at the parent support group someone was talking about their kid not

someone was talking about their kid not

someone was talking about their kid not wanting to see their penis

wanting to see their penis

wanting to see their penis so now she always has a bubble bath

okay ben did you get your pajamas

it used to be cheap bubble bath and now

it used to be cheap bubble bath and now

it used to be cheap bubble bath and now she has moved up to

she has moved up to

she has moved up to lavender scented bubble bath

lavender scented bubble bath

lavender scented bubble bath it's quite the production but it's it's

it's quite the production but it's it's

it's quite the production but it's it's so much better for her and now she

so much better for her and now she

so much better for her and now she doesn't mind taking baths

doesn't mind taking baths

doesn't mind taking baths there's always that that worry in the

there's always that that worry in the

there's always that that worry in the back of my head that i try not to think

back of my head that i try not to think

back of my head that i try not to think about too much which is their physical

about too much which is their physical

about too much which is their physical safety

safety

safety the hardest hardest thing we were in our

the hardest hardest thing we were in our

the hardest hardest thing we were in our support group

support group

support group and one of the dads whose daughter is in

and one of the dads whose daughter is in

and one of the dads whose daughter is in her 20s now

her 20s now

her 20s now she was never going to get bottom

she was never going to get bottom

she was never going to get bottom surgery where they would change the

surgery where they would change the

surgery where they would change the penis to a vagina but then she started

penis to a vagina but then she started

penis to a vagina but then she started talking about that with her father and

talking about that with her father and

talking about that with her father and he said but you never wanted to do that

he said but you never wanted to do that

he said but you never wanted to do that before why now

before why now

before why now and um

and um

and um and she said well dad i was thinking if

and she said well dad i was thinking if

and she said well dad i was thinking if i'm ever attacked

i'm ever attacked

i'm ever attacked a rape could easily turn into a murder

a rape could easily turn into a murder

a rape could easily turn into a murder and it just like

and it just like

and it just like stopped my heart

stopped my heart

stopped my heart and so i always think of that you know

and so i always think of that you know

and so i always think of that you know with ren

with ren

with ren that

that

that these things that are dangerous for

these things that are dangerous for

these things that are dangerous for young women

young women

young women you know it just ups it

you know it just ups it

you know it just ups it so much

so much

so much so there's that physical

so there's that physical

so there's that physical danger as well as you know wondering

danger as well as you know wondering

danger as well as you know wondering about their mental health and fitting in

about their mental health and fitting in

about their mental health and fitting in and stuff

and stuff

and stuff one well then why is there a video i'm a

one well then why is there a video i'm a

one well then why is there a video i'm a little bit nervous that in the little

little bit nervous that in the little

little bit nervous that in the little miss west dressing room

miss west dressing room

miss west dressing room is someone going to

is someone going to

is someone going to make an issue of friend being

make an issue of friend being

make an issue of friend being transgender will they even know i don't

transgender will they even know i don't

transgender will they even know i don't know

know

know when she has she has two beds not one

when she has she has two beds not one

when she has she has two beds not one bed two beds and for some reason she

bed two beds and for some reason she

bed two beds and for some reason she sleeps i'm just kind of preparing in my

sleeps i'm just kind of preparing in my

sleeps i'm just kind of preparing in my head if someone says something about

head if someone says something about

head if someone says something about this is the girl's room i can just say

this is the girl's room i can just say

this is the girl's room i can just say ren's a girl

ren's a girl

ren's a girl in fact i'm going to pack her

in fact i'm going to pack her

in fact i'm going to pack her passport with me which says that she's a

passport with me which says that she's a

passport with me which says that she's a girl

girl

girl i met in california

wait i have yes

wait i have yes

wait i have yes i should solve that

i should solve that

i should solve that all right ren

all right ren

all right ren where'd you put your lemonade or did it

where'd you put your lemonade or did it

where'd you put your lemonade or did it go better

go better

go better oh daddy already put your lemonade in

oh daddy already put your lemonade in

oh daddy already put your lemonade in your room so um why don't you go in and

your room so um why don't you go in and

your room so um why don't you go in and get your show

get your show

get your show okay let me just

okay let me just

okay let me just um

um

um you want to switch the light to the

you want to switch the light to the

you want to switch the light to the little light or you can put the pusheen

little light or you can put the pusheen

little light or you can put the pusheen lights on

lights on

lights on [Music]

[Music]

my buddy

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] hey luca you haven't seen men's doctor

hey luca you haven't seen men's doctor

hey luca you haven't seen men's doctor who dress have you we lost the doctor

who dress have you we lost the doctor

who dress have you we lost the doctor who dress and some of the other dresses

who dress and some of the other dresses

who dress and some of the other dresses i'll look in my door

i'll look in my door

i'll look in my door uh it might be upstairs in my room let

uh it might be upstairs in my room let

uh it might be upstairs in my room let me call up to dad

me call up to dad

me call up to dad chris it's me i'm coming in

chris it's me i'm coming in

chris it's me i'm coming in we can't find the dress

we can't find the dress

we can't find the dress is it in the closet we've looked

is it in the closet we've looked

is it in the closet we've looked everywhere and we can't find it i think

everywhere and we can't find it i think

everywhere and we can't find it i think i have a skeleton dress she can wear and

i have a skeleton dress she can wear and

i have a skeleton dress she can wear and you definitely have not seen the tardis

you definitely have not seen the tardis

you definitely have not seen the tardis dress

dress

dress i know i haven't

i know i haven't

i know i haven't okay it's very strange that we lost a

okay it's very strange that we lost a

okay it's very strange that we lost a dress

dress

dress good see how pretty that is

come closer

come closer

come closer [Music]

this is the shimmery stuff that'll go on

this is the shimmery stuff that'll go on

this is the shimmery stuff that'll go on your eyes okay

your eyes okay

your eyes okay okay shut your eyes

oh i got too much

oh i got too much

oh i got too much okay

there's cat hair on

there's cat hair on

there's cat hair on the makeup brush

the makeup brush

the makeup brush hurry up you guys are going to be late

hurry up you guys are going to be late

hurry up you guys are going to be late we have to leave in 15 minutes all right

we have to leave in 15 minutes all right

we have to leave in 15 minutes all right well

well

well i know beauty takes time

i know beauty takes time

i know beauty takes time smile

smile

smile okay

okay

okay the hair straightener's on top of the

the hair straightener's on top of the

the hair straightener's on top of the fish tank we really have to rush

fish tank we really have to rush

fish tank we really have to rush okay then we will really rush

i'm not used to seeing you in makeup

i'm not used to seeing you in makeup

i'm not used to seeing you in makeup you look very pretty

you look very pretty

you look very pretty [Music]

[Music]

[Music] be loud and clear when you answer your

be loud and clear when you answer your

be loud and clear when you answer your question okay i'll try oh boy we're

question okay i'll try oh boy we're

question okay i'll try oh boy we're gonna be late okay we have everything

gonna be late okay we have everything

gonna be late okay we have everything ready yeah we packed the car oh a brush

ready yeah we packed the car oh a brush

ready yeah we packed the car oh a brush i gotta bring a brush going in daddy's

i gotta bring a brush going in daddy's

i gotta bring a brush going in daddy's car

car

car ren when we get there you rush

ren when we get there you rush

ren when we get there you rush right to the stage because they're doing

right to the stage because they're doing

right to the stage because they're doing the rehearsal

the rehearsal

the rehearsal well i'm sure they say 9 30 just to get

well i'm sure they say 9 30 just to get

well i'm sure they say 9 30 just to get people there early enough

people there early enough

people there early enough you should have gotten up earlier today

you should have gotten up earlier today

you should have gotten up earlier today i just you know it's gonna take us so

i just you know it's gonna take us so

i just you know it's gonna take us so long

i'm gonna have to get a spot too because

i'm gonna have to get a spot too because

i'm gonna have to get a spot too because those women can be vicious

hello

hello

hello [Music]

unbelievable back there i mean we got

unbelievable back there i mean we got

unbelievable back there i mean we got here at 9 30 but the dressing room is

here at 9 30 but the dressing room is

here at 9 30 but the dressing room is like i had to

like i had to

like i had to go all the way in the back to get two

go all the way in the back to get two

go all the way in the back to get two chairs

chairs

chairs and we are just squished like all our

and we are just squished like all our

and we are just squished like all our stuff is on these two little chairs

stuff is on these two little chairs

stuff is on these two little chairs because people are spread out with like

because people are spread out with like

because people are spread out with like makeup and

makeup and

makeup and dresses hanging in 3 000 dresses it's

dresses hanging in 3 000 dresses it's

dresses hanging in 3 000 dresses it's crazy

crazy

crazy [Music]

[Music]

same dance see

same dance see

same dance see you could have taught it to ren

you could have taught it to ren

you could have taught it to ren i'm sure you still know it

all right let me go sign in

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] you are number 40.

you are number 40.

you are number 40. so most of the things that you do you'll

so most of the things that you do you'll

so most of the things that you do you'll go out you'll be the 40th in line we'll

go out you'll be the 40th in line we'll

go out you'll be the 40th in line we'll look up who's number 39.

look up who's number 39.

look up who's number 39. i'll go over the program with you

oh

oh

oh it's the changing and

it's the changing and

it's the changing and makeup room

makeup room

makeup room this is the backstage room

this is the backstage room

this is the backstage room where would someone change

where would someone change

where would someone change well that's why i told you you just

well that's why i told you you just

well that's why i told you you just change here we just quickly switch

change here we just quickly switch

change here we just quickly switch clothes it's so fast and everyone's

clothes it's so fast and everyone's

clothes it's so fast and everyone's changing and no one's looking at you and

changing and no one's looking at you and

changing and no one's looking at you and you have your that's why i knew you'd

you have your that's why i knew you'd

you have your that's why i knew you'd want to wear the little bra

[Music]

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

welcome everyone

welcome everyone

welcome everyone i'm so glad everyone could join us today

i'm so glad everyone could join us today

i'm so glad everyone could join us today to watch the amazing girls and boys

to watch the amazing girls and boys

to watch the amazing girls and boys [Music]

[Music]

[Music] and now it's time for the talent section

and now it's time for the talent section

and now it's time for the talent section enjoy the show

far away

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] so far away from my father's daughter

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

next up we have grand mccarthy

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] hi i just want to ask everyone to please

hi i just want to ask everyone to please

hi i just want to ask everyone to please be quiet when kids are doing their

be quiet when kids are doing their

be quiet when kids are doing their talents because it's really hard for the

talents because it's really hard for the

talents because it's really hard for the judges to hear and if you want people to

judges to hear and if you want people to

judges to hear and if you want people to be quiet for your kid you should be

be quiet for your kid you should be

be quiet for your kid you should be quiet for other people thank you

[Music]

yes

yes

yes [Music]

huh

huh

huh [Music]

[Music]

[Music] just know this

just know this

just know this there's nothing you could do wrong

there's nothing you could do wrong

there's nothing you could do wrong tell us what famous person would you

tell us what famous person would you

tell us what famous person would you like to be for them

like to be for them

like to be for them i would like to be the boss of ruins

i would like to be the boss of ruins

i would like to be the boss of ruins goalie because i would love to be in an

goalie because i would love to be in an

goalie because i would love to be in an nhl game and meet all the players

the hardest thing you've ever had to do

the hardest thing you've ever had to do

the hardest thing you've ever had to do and how did you accomplish it

and how did you accomplish it

and how did you accomplish it the hardest thing i've ever had to do is

the hardest thing i've ever had to do is

the hardest thing i've ever had to do is not being able to speak to my

not being able to speak to my

not being able to speak to my grandmother in spain because i don't

grandmother in spain because i don't

grandmother in spain because i don't speak spanish but now i'm learning how

speak spanish but now i'm learning how

speak spanish but now i'm learning how to speak spanish so i can speak to her

to speak spanish so i can speak to her

to speak spanish so i can speak to her thank you

please welcome ryan mccarthy

please welcome ryan mccarthy

please welcome ryan mccarthy [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] i have no idea what ronnie's gonna do

i have no idea what ronnie's gonna do

i have no idea what ronnie's gonna do [Applause]

if you could time travel when would you

if you could time travel when would you

if you could time travel when would you go and why i'll go back to when i was

go and why i'll go back to when i was

go and why i'll go back to when i was three or four

three or four

three or four and

and

and tell my parents that i was a girl

tell my parents that i was a girl

tell my parents that i was a girl rather than a boy

rather than a boy

rather than a boy make sure that they knew that back then

make sure that they knew that back then

make sure that they knew that back then [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music]

[Music] wow

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] model for baby or mini giovanna carney

model for baby or mini giovanna carney

model for baby or mini giovanna carney pageant princess emiliana gonzalez

pageant princess emiliana gonzalez

pageant princess emiliana gonzalez pageant queen kiki adamo prettiest hair

pageant queen kiki adamo prettiest hair

pageant queen kiki adamo prettiest hair for preteener tee rebecca aranza

for preteener tee rebecca aranza

for preteener tee rebecca aranza prettiest eyes petites isabelle roach

prettiest eyes petites isabelle roach

prettiest eyes petites isabelle roach costume preteen or team kiki johnson

costume preteen or team kiki johnson

costume preteen or team kiki johnson woods model for little olivia moretti

woods model for little olivia moretti

woods model for little olivia moretti personality baby or mini liana filigy

our pre-teen category this year's

our pre-teen category this year's

our pre-teen category this year's pageant sweetheart

pageant sweetheart

pageant sweetheart mccarthy

mccarthy

mccarthy [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

happy birthday to you

happy birthday to you

happy birthday to you happy birthday

[Applause]

happy birthday to you

remember

remember

remember [Music]

why is he wearing the hat no go back go

why is he wearing the hat no go back go

why is he wearing the hat no go back go lean if i can go back in time it would

lean if i can go back in time it would

lean if i can go back in time it would probably be when i came out the first

probably be when i came out the first

probably be when i came out the first time

time

time and

and

and just stuck with it

just stuck with it

just stuck with it because i know like in the moment

because i know like in the moment

because i know like in the moment it was really stressful and it was

it was really stressful and it was

it was really stressful and it was really upsetting

really upsetting

really upsetting but

but

but if i stuck with it back then i could

if i stuck with it back then i could

if i stuck with it back then i could have gone into high school

have gone into high school

have gone into high school as luka

i don't know if i would really change

i don't know if i would really change

i don't know if i would really change that actually

that actually

that actually because

because

because i like my group of friends and i like

i like my group of friends and i like

i like my group of friends and i like everything that i'm doing and i'm really

everything that i'm doing and i'm really

everything that i'm doing and i'm really excited for the next school year so it

excited for the next school year so it

excited for the next school year so it doesn't really matter anymore

doesn't really matter anymore

doesn't really matter anymore wait you messed up no you you

wait you messed up no you you

wait you messed up no you you a lot has happened and um like getting

a lot has happened and um like getting

a lot has happened and um like getting my name changed and

my name changed and

my name changed and going on testosterone and stuff like

going on testosterone and stuff like

going on testosterone and stuff like that i'm really glad that that whole

that i'm really glad that that whole

that i'm really glad that that whole process is done

process is done

process is done i think that all like the big major

i think that all like the big major

i think that all like the big major challenges are done with and

challenges are done with and

challenges are done with and now it's pretty much just

now it's pretty much just

now it's pretty much just normally every single person makes fun

normally every single person makes fun

normally every single person makes fun of me

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] i have some concerns of their safety

the biggest scare for me is that they

the biggest scare for me is that they

the biggest scare for me is that they will feel unhappy with themselves

will feel unhappy with themselves

will feel unhappy with themselves because that's

because that's

because that's the threat that's hardest to protect

the threat that's hardest to protect

the threat that's hardest to protect them from

as long as they're happy with who they

as long as they're happy with who they

as long as they're happy with who they are and they're feeling comfortable and

are and they're feeling comfortable and

are and they're feeling comfortable and supported that's the most important

supported that's the most important

supported that's the most important thing

oh thank you

it was tumultuous at first

before she transitioned ren couldn't

before she transitioned ren couldn't

before she transitioned ren couldn't read at grade level she couldn't write a

read at grade level she couldn't write a

read at grade level she couldn't write a sentence

sentence

sentence she did really worked up about it

she had this underlying anxiety that put

she had this underlying anxiety that put

she had this underlying anxiety that put her base level so high that anything

her base level so high that anything

her base level so high that anything that added a teeny bit of anxiety put

that added a teeny bit of anxiety put

that added a teeny bit of anxiety put her over the edge

[Music]

after she transitioned they approached

after she transitioned they approached

after she transitioned they approached me and said they didn't think that she

me and said they didn't think that she

me and said they didn't think that she needed the special education services

needed the special education services

needed the special education services anymore

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] they said she's one of the smartest kids

they said she's one of the smartest kids

they said she's one of the smartest kids in the school

in the school

in the school and she's well above grade level in

and she's well above grade level in

and she's well above grade level in reading and writing she can write pages

reading and writing she can write pages

reading and writing she can write pages now

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] at this point

at this point

at this point it seems odd that we ever struggle

it seems odd that we ever struggle

it seems odd that we ever struggle now i never think of them as being a

now i never think of them as being a

now i never think of them as being a different

different

different gender than they are right now

lucas my son

ren is my daughter

ren is my daughter

ren is my daughter and

and

and you know now we're just the mccartneys

you know now we're just the mccartneys

you know now we're just the mccartneys again

again

again [Music]

you