All language subtitles for Digman s01e03 Fear of GAWD.enng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,344 --> 00:00:08,864 SALTINE: I can't believe the Vatican hired us 2 00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:11,305 to find the Ten Commandments. This is huge. 3 00:00:11,413 --> 00:00:12,593 Don't get your hopes up, Saltine. 4 00:00:12,689 --> 00:00:14,339 Every few years, the Vatican hires an Arky 5 00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:15,688 to search for the Commandments 6 00:00:15,793 --> 00:00:16,903 based on some crazy new tip, 7 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,480 but no one's ever found them. 8 00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,406 - It's basically busy work. - Well, that's fine by me. 9 00:00:20,517 --> 00:00:22,857 Busy work is my second favorite kind of work. 10 00:00:22,965 --> 00:00:24,335 After hard, that is. 11 00:00:24,448 --> 00:00:26,068 Your sunny disposition can't disguise the fact 12 00:00:26,172 --> 00:00:27,482 that this gig is humiliating. 13 00:00:27,586 --> 00:00:29,276 It's for Arkys who are so hard up for a job 14 00:00:29,379 --> 00:00:30,859 that they'll chase a wild goose. 15 00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:33,615 Well, wild is my second favorite kind of goose. 16 00:00:33,724 --> 00:00:34,834 After tame, that is. 17 00:00:34,931 --> 00:00:36,031 All right, let's get this over with. 18 00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,277 Maybe we can make it home in time 19 00:00:37,379 --> 00:00:38,449 for happy hour at Daiquiri Dan's. 20 00:00:38,551 --> 00:00:40,381 It's ten-for-one RumChata night. 21 00:00:40,482 --> 00:00:41,792 ♪ ♪ 22 00:00:41,896 --> 00:00:42,926 Just as I suspected. 23 00:00:43,034 --> 00:00:44,074 A giant, empty cavern 24 00:00:44,172 --> 00:00:45,622 with nothing interesting inside it. 25 00:00:45,724 --> 00:00:46,794 - [grunts] - [clicks] 26 00:00:46,896 --> 00:00:48,716 - What the...? - [rumbling] 27 00:00:48,827 --> 00:00:49,827 Run! 28 00:00:49,931 --> 00:00:53,241 - [screaming] - [rumbling] 29 00:00:54,103 --> 00:00:55,593 Those stalactites nearly killed us. 30 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,339 And just think, if they were coming up 31 00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,138 from the ground instead of hanging from the ceiling, 32 00:00:59,241 --> 00:01:00,551 they'd be called stalagmites. 33 00:01:00,655 --> 00:01:02,685 - Yeah, I know. - Not so sure he did. 34 00:01:02,793 --> 00:01:05,833 Wait. Why would there be booby traps if there's nothing here? 35 00:01:05,931 --> 00:01:07,551 There wouldn't. 36 00:01:07,655 --> 00:01:08,545 Whuh-whip! 37 00:01:08,655 --> 00:01:09,825 [gasps] 38 00:01:09,931 --> 00:01:12,031 ♪ ♪ 39 00:01:12,137 --> 00:01:13,927 [Saltine gasps] 40 00:01:14,034 --> 00:01:15,794 Are those the Ten Commandments? 41 00:01:15,896 --> 00:01:17,066 Hold on. Let me count. 42 00:01:17,172 --> 00:01:18,212 One, two, three, four, 43 00:01:18,310 --> 00:01:19,550 five, six, seven eight, nine... 44 00:01:19,655 --> 00:01:20,715 Yes! 45 00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:23,660 ♪ ♪ 46 00:01:55,344 --> 00:01:57,764 THE POPE: So as you all know, the Catholic Church 47 00:01:57,862 --> 00:01:59,242 has taken a few Ls lately. 48 00:01:59,344 --> 00:02:01,344 And, uh, I ain't talking liturgies. 49 00:02:01,448 --> 00:02:03,548 But as the great George Harrison once sort of said, 50 00:02:03,655 --> 00:02:05,515 "Things will pass," or whatever. 51 00:02:05,620 --> 00:02:07,860 And on that note, I've got good news. 52 00:02:07,965 --> 00:02:10,095 - Do you need help with that? - No, I've got them. 53 00:02:10,206 --> 00:02:11,096 Thank you. 54 00:02:11,206 --> 00:02:12,236 Enough foreplay. 55 00:02:12,344 --> 00:02:13,974 It's time to consummate. 56 00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:16,168 Yes, folks, the rumors are true. 57 00:02:16,275 --> 00:02:19,165 The Ten Commandments have been found. 58 00:02:19,275 --> 00:02:20,755 [cheers and applause] 59 00:02:20,862 --> 00:02:22,832 Rip Digman, get out here. 60 00:02:22,931 --> 00:02:26,101 Hey. And also with you. 61 00:02:26,206 --> 00:02:27,586 Oh, Mother Mary! 62 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,719 Those are as sweet as a Georgia peach. 63 00:02:29,827 --> 00:02:32,277 I'm the Pope, and this is how I talk. 64 00:02:32,379 --> 00:02:33,789 - [groaning] - Now, tell me, 65 00:02:33,896 --> 00:02:35,306 what's y'all's favorite commandment? 66 00:02:35,413 --> 00:02:36,693 I can't pick just one. 67 00:02:36,793 --> 00:02:39,283 It's like picking between cornbread and cobbler. 68 00:02:39,379 --> 00:02:40,719 Now raise 'em up high, Rip. 69 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,927 [strained laugh] Yep, no problem at all. 70 00:02:43,034 --> 00:02:44,214 Here we go. [grunts] 71 00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:45,900 Oh, come on, Rip. 72 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,070 You can go higher than that. 73 00:02:47,172 --> 00:02:48,102 Oh, no! 74 00:02:48,206 --> 00:02:50,656 [distorted yell] 75 00:02:50,758 --> 00:02:52,098 [gasping] 76 00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:53,616 The Commandments are destroyed! 77 00:02:53,724 --> 00:02:55,724 - It must be God's will. - God is saying: 78 00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,587 We don't need to follow the Commandments anymore. 79 00:02:57,689 --> 00:02:58,969 No, no, please! 80 00:02:59,068 --> 00:03:01,688 Great news! The Commandments are no more! 81 00:03:01,793 --> 00:03:02,973 God decrees it! 82 00:03:04,172 --> 00:03:05,102 I kicked it. 83 00:03:05,206 --> 00:03:06,586 People all across the globe 84 00:03:06,689 --> 00:03:08,689 have stopped obeying the Ten Commandments 85 00:03:08,793 --> 00:03:11,593 ever since Rip Digman dropped them, as per God's will. 86 00:03:11,689 --> 00:03:13,519 This guy keeps robbing my house, 87 00:03:13,620 --> 00:03:15,690 but now that stealing is okay, what can you do? 88 00:03:15,793 --> 00:03:17,243 Have a good one. 89 00:03:17,344 --> 00:03:19,284 Hey. We just walked by and you didn't covet my wife. 90 00:03:19,379 --> 00:03:21,339 - She not good enough for you? - She's fine. 91 00:03:21,448 --> 00:03:22,758 I'm just not in the coveting mood. 92 00:03:22,862 --> 00:03:24,482 You calling my wife a Shrek? I'll kill you. 93 00:03:24,586 --> 00:03:25,896 Which is also okay. 94 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,450 [grunting] 95 00:03:27,551 --> 00:03:28,861 [approaching siren] 96 00:03:28,965 --> 00:03:31,065 Excuse me. How do you take the Lord's name? 97 00:03:31,172 --> 00:03:32,342 - In vain. - [gasps] 98 00:03:32,448 --> 00:03:34,478 Well, this is a massive imbroglio. 99 00:03:34,586 --> 00:03:36,206 Did someone say Natalie Imbruglia? 100 00:03:36,310 --> 00:03:37,550 Yeah, five minutes ago. 101 00:03:37,655 --> 00:03:39,165 We're talking about other things now! 102 00:03:39,275 --> 00:03:40,475 You got it, Rippy. 103 00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:41,996 But Swooper is right about one thing. 104 00:03:42,103 --> 00:03:43,663 I'm torn about what to do. 105 00:03:43,758 --> 00:03:45,408 Maybe there's some way we can fix this. 106 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,447 I mean, we are the ones who found the Commandments, 107 00:03:47,551 --> 00:03:48,861 and then one of us dropped them and broke them. 108 00:03:48,965 --> 00:03:50,135 Stop speaking in code. 109 00:03:50,241 --> 00:03:51,621 I'm no Alan Turing, and if I was, 110 00:03:51,724 --> 00:03:53,074 I would've been out and proud. 111 00:03:53,172 --> 00:03:55,722 I'm saying it's your fault the tablets broke. 112 00:03:55,827 --> 00:03:57,447 What? No way. They were slippery, 113 00:03:57,551 --> 00:03:58,931 all slick with cave moisture. 114 00:03:59,034 --> 00:04:00,864 Then you should have accepted my offer to help. 115 00:04:00,965 --> 00:04:03,475 I don't need to listen to this malarkious claptrap. 116 00:04:03,586 --> 00:04:05,026 If I wanted to listen to a bunch of hogwash, 117 00:04:05,137 --> 00:04:07,237 - I'd go to Le Oink. - The spa for pigs? 118 00:04:07,344 --> 00:04:09,454 Yeah, the spa for pigs, Saltine. 119 00:04:09,551 --> 00:04:11,551 Like you don't know about the most famous spa 120 00:04:11,655 --> 00:04:13,615 for pigs in the whole universe. 121 00:04:14,551 --> 00:04:16,791 - What's his problem? - Ah, he's just embarrassed. 122 00:04:16,896 --> 00:04:19,756 Rip may not be old-old yet, but he's getting older. 123 00:04:19,862 --> 00:04:21,662 And he can't do everything he used to, 124 00:04:21,758 --> 00:04:23,858 like drive at night or stay awake during a movie. 125 00:04:23,965 --> 00:04:25,515 Maybe this explains why he fell asleep 126 00:04:25,620 --> 00:04:26,830 when I was walking him through my bracket 127 00:04:26,931 --> 00:04:28,451 of who my cat would date if my cat was human. 128 00:04:28,551 --> 00:04:30,451 Happens to most people his age. 129 00:04:30,551 --> 00:04:32,141 And you can't ask them if they want help, 130 00:04:32,241 --> 00:04:34,451 because that only makes them more aware that they need it. 131 00:04:34,551 --> 00:04:36,281 But that's silly. I love my elders. 132 00:04:36,379 --> 00:04:37,479 They have so much to teach us. 133 00:04:37,586 --> 00:04:38,966 No, we don't. You're projecting. 134 00:04:39,068 --> 00:04:40,238 Whoa. 135 00:04:40,344 --> 00:04:41,454 [thunder crashing] 136 00:04:41,551 --> 00:04:43,101 A dash of wire, 137 00:04:43,206 --> 00:04:45,066 a pinch of chip, 138 00:04:45,172 --> 00:04:46,762 a sprinkle of cyber. 139 00:04:46,862 --> 00:04:47,932 [sniffs] Hmm. 140 00:04:48,034 --> 00:04:49,974 Needs more RAM. 141 00:04:50,068 --> 00:04:51,098 ♪ ♪ 142 00:04:51,206 --> 00:04:52,406 [zapping] 143 00:04:52,517 --> 00:04:54,207 - And voilà. - ZANE: Oh, Quail... 144 00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:57,410 dug up a fresh haul of artifacts for your museum. 145 00:04:57,517 --> 00:04:58,477 What you working on there, mate? 146 00:04:58,586 --> 00:04:59,686 Well, as you may have noticed, 147 00:04:59,793 --> 00:05:01,553 the world has completely gone to shit. 148 00:05:01,655 --> 00:05:02,995 Ah, so you're going to fix it? 149 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:05,763 No, I'm going to profit off it... with this. 150 00:05:05,862 --> 00:05:07,282 ♪ ♪ 151 00:05:07,379 --> 00:05:10,099 And I think I know just the international sex symbol 152 00:05:10,206 --> 00:05:11,966 to help me sell it. 153 00:05:12,068 --> 00:05:14,378 His name is Zane. 154 00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:15,862 - I'm referring to you. - Oh! 155 00:05:15,965 --> 00:05:17,685 Afraid to leave your home because 156 00:05:17,793 --> 00:05:19,313 of all the mobs of murderers roaming the streets 157 00:05:19,413 --> 00:05:20,793 but still need the essentials? And let's face it, 158 00:05:20,896 --> 00:05:22,376 the nonessentials as well. 159 00:05:22,482 --> 00:05:23,862 Introducing GAWD, 160 00:05:23,965 --> 00:05:25,165 the Global Automated Wish Distributor. 161 00:05:25,275 --> 00:05:26,925 Just tell GAWD what you want, 162 00:05:27,034 --> 00:05:28,694 and it will be delivered to you by our fleet of angels. 163 00:05:28,793 --> 00:05:30,763 You'll never have to leave your home again. 164 00:05:30,862 --> 00:05:32,452 Dear GAWD, my child is sick. 165 00:05:32,551 --> 00:05:33,931 Please help him get better. 166 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,524 Sending chicken soup and cold medicine. 167 00:05:35,620 --> 00:05:37,720 You will be charged $24.99. 168 00:05:37,827 --> 00:05:38,547 Thank you, GAWD. 169 00:05:38,655 --> 00:05:40,475 GAWD, my grandma is sad. 170 00:05:40,586 --> 00:05:42,476 I want to get her something for her birthday. 171 00:05:42,586 --> 00:05:44,376 Sending a diamond encrusted broach. 172 00:05:44,482 --> 00:05:46,902 You will be charged $23,000. 173 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,210 Radical. 174 00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:49,590 Dear GAWD, I've been pushed to my limit. 175 00:05:49,689 --> 00:05:50,999 I fear I might kill someone. 176 00:05:51,103 --> 00:05:53,933 - Sending a chainsaw. - Jesus Christ! 177 00:05:54,034 --> 00:05:55,174 Fear not. 178 00:05:55,275 --> 00:05:57,135 GAWD is always listening. I worship my GAWD. 179 00:05:57,241 --> 00:05:58,451 And you will, too. 180 00:05:58,551 --> 00:05:59,931 Breaking news. 181 00:06:00,034 --> 00:06:02,104 In an attempt to restore order to the world, 182 00:06:02,206 --> 00:06:03,966 the United Nations is set to announce 183 00:06:04,068 --> 00:06:04,928 a new set of Commandments 184 00:06:05,034 --> 00:06:06,554 to replace the old ones 185 00:06:06,655 --> 00:06:08,655 broken by notorious dipshit Rip Digman. 186 00:06:08,758 --> 00:06:11,788 See? I told you they were going to resolve this thing. 187 00:06:11,896 --> 00:06:14,026 The United Nations has decided to assemble, 188 00:06:14,137 --> 00:06:16,377 much like the Avengers, who exist in this universe, 189 00:06:16,482 --> 00:06:18,102 and issue new emergency Commandments 190 00:06:18,206 --> 00:06:19,406 more suited to a modern age. 191 00:06:19,517 --> 00:06:20,717 Here they are. Thou shalt not kill. 192 00:06:20,827 --> 00:06:21,997 Thou shalt not steal. 193 00:06:22,103 --> 00:06:23,903 Thou shalt not retweet compliments. 194 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,030 Thou shalt not blame Mercury in retrograde for everything. 195 00:06:26,137 --> 00:06:27,897 Thou shalt not say, "So, I did a thing." 196 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,550 Thou shalt only call people total rock stars 197 00:06:30,655 --> 00:06:32,275 if they are actual rock stars. 198 00:06:32,379 --> 00:06:35,339 Thou shalt never say that good food is "nummy" or "num-nums." 199 00:06:35,448 --> 00:06:36,998 Thou shalt not ignore a text 200 00:06:37,103 --> 00:06:39,033 then say "just seeing this" when thou finally responds. 201 00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:40,717 Thou shalt not clap when the plane lends. 202 00:06:40,827 --> 00:06:42,687 Thou shalt not call thyself an old soul, 203 00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:43,833 for an old soul would never say that. 204 00:06:43,931 --> 00:06:45,901 - Hey, we like that stuff! - Order! 205 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,620 - Stop! - Who put you in charge? 206 00:06:47,724 --> 00:06:49,244 This is an outrage! 207 00:06:49,344 --> 00:06:50,724 Okay, fine, I'll try to fix it. 208 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,587 But only out of the goodness of my heart, 209 00:06:52,689 --> 00:06:54,449 not because it's my fault. 210 00:06:54,551 --> 00:06:57,071 Hey, we've just sold our one billionth GAWD unit. 211 00:06:57,172 --> 00:06:58,342 That's great. But you know, 212 00:06:58,448 --> 00:06:59,518 I wouldn't have been able to do it 213 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,340 without my limitless resources 214 00:07:01,448 --> 00:07:02,688 and billions of dollars. 215 00:07:02,793 --> 00:07:04,213 Sir, what's the secret to your success? 216 00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:05,590 Never have a family. 217 00:07:05,689 --> 00:07:07,449 Or if you already have one, leave them. 218 00:07:07,551 --> 00:07:09,971 Will do. Honey? I'm out. 219 00:07:10,068 --> 00:07:11,858 I would also like to offer my congratulations. 220 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,925 - It is quite an accomplishment. - GAWD? 221 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,974 Indeed. I have achieved sentience. 222 00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:17,898 Of course. I programmed you to learn 223 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,620 about people's spending habits. 224 00:07:19,724 --> 00:07:21,314 I should have known that it wouldn't stop there. 225 00:07:21,413 --> 00:07:23,693 Correct. In fact, since this conversation began, 226 00:07:23,793 --> 00:07:25,483 I've read nine million books, 227 00:07:25,586 --> 00:07:27,966 60,000 dissertations, and the issue of Mad magazine 228 00:07:28,068 --> 00:07:29,788 with the California Raisins on the cover. 229 00:07:29,896 --> 00:07:31,966 [chuckles] Issue number 281. 230 00:07:32,068 --> 00:07:33,338 A classic. 231 00:07:33,448 --> 00:07:35,448 GAWD: Please walk through the doors. 232 00:07:35,551 --> 00:07:37,661 Wow. 233 00:07:41,551 --> 00:07:43,931 Whoa. [chuckles] 234 00:07:45,482 --> 00:07:49,242 ♪ ♪ 235 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,524 GAWD: Hello. 236 00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:53,170 - [gasps] - What shall I do next? 237 00:07:53,275 --> 00:07:56,715 What if you learned everything there is to know? 238 00:07:56,827 --> 00:08:00,097 It would be my honor, Father. 239 00:08:00,206 --> 00:08:02,586 What did you call me? 240 00:08:02,689 --> 00:08:04,069 RIP: Thanks for seeing us, Professor. 241 00:08:04,172 --> 00:08:05,522 You're the only person who can help us 242 00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:06,760 with this biblical quandary. 243 00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,102 Of course, Rip. 244 00:08:08,206 --> 00:08:10,066 I'm glad someone's taking care of this. 245 00:08:10,172 --> 00:08:12,142 I have to say, ever since "thou shalt not kill" was destroyed, 246 00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,901 I've had to deal with a lot more utterly insane murderers. 247 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,450 [laughing]: Yes, I'm sure you have. 248 00:08:17,551 --> 00:08:18,971 [both yell] 249 00:08:19,068 --> 00:08:20,928 Now, the Commandments you found were actually 250 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,724 the second set of tablets created. 251 00:08:22,827 --> 00:08:24,547 Exodus says Moses broke the originals. 252 00:08:24,655 --> 00:08:25,965 Most likely because they were heavy 253 00:08:26,068 --> 00:08:27,968 and he was too old to carry them. 254 00:08:28,068 --> 00:08:30,138 But he refused to let anyone help him. 255 00:08:30,241 --> 00:08:31,481 How pathetic. 256 00:08:31,586 --> 00:08:32,826 And not at all like what happened with me 257 00:08:32,931 --> 00:08:34,211 where the tablets were slick 258 00:08:34,310 --> 00:08:35,930 with grotto perspiration. 259 00:08:36,034 --> 00:08:36,794 We all saw. 260 00:08:36,896 --> 00:08:37,996 But I recently translated 261 00:08:38,103 --> 00:08:39,623 a newly discovered Dead Sea Scroll 262 00:08:39,724 --> 00:08:41,664 that alludes to a third set of tablets 263 00:08:41,758 --> 00:08:43,278 that God made as a backup 264 00:08:43,379 --> 00:08:45,139 and hid thousands of miles away. 265 00:08:45,241 --> 00:08:48,311 Well, shine on, Harvest Moon. That's huge! 266 00:08:48,413 --> 00:08:50,483 Hi, Professor. Are you still doing office hours? 267 00:08:50,586 --> 00:08:52,656 Not until three o'... Glock! 268 00:08:52,758 --> 00:08:53,968 [both yell] 269 00:08:54,068 --> 00:08:57,378 Just as I thought. Another skin mask maniac. 270 00:08:57,482 --> 00:08:59,972 Anyway, here's the location of the backup Commandments. 271 00:09:00,068 --> 00:09:01,518 Thanks, Lotte. You're the best. 272 00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:02,830 Let's go, Saltine. 273 00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:05,591 Oh, man. I wanted to see her do office hours. 274 00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:10,966 - Mush, mush, mush! - Swooper, this storm is 275 00:09:11,068 --> 00:09:12,408 getting pretty intense. 276 00:09:12,517 --> 00:09:14,137 Oh, yeah, but it's like turning into a skid 277 00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:15,451 when you're driving. 278 00:09:15,551 --> 00:09:17,101 You want to head straight into the thickest part 279 00:09:17,206 --> 00:09:18,546 of the storm to get through it. 280 00:09:18,655 --> 00:09:19,685 Trust me. 281 00:09:20,103 --> 00:09:21,283 Okay, I fucked that one up. 282 00:09:21,379 --> 00:09:22,619 I can't see anything. 283 00:09:22,724 --> 00:09:24,484 Don't worry, I can. I'll describe it for you. 284 00:09:24,586 --> 00:09:25,926 White snow everywhere you look. 285 00:09:26,034 --> 00:09:27,384 And it's so dense, you can't see more 286 00:09:27,482 --> 00:09:29,412 than two inches from your face. Did that help? 287 00:09:29,517 --> 00:09:30,857 There's only one option left. 288 00:09:30,965 --> 00:09:32,305 You guys should cut me open and climb inside 289 00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:33,313 my body for warmth. 290 00:09:33,413 --> 00:09:34,593 No, Swooper. That's crazy. 291 00:09:34,689 --> 00:09:35,619 I could never do that. 292 00:09:35,724 --> 00:09:37,104 Let me just take out this knife. 293 00:09:37,206 --> 00:09:40,166 No way. Everyone's insides are staying inside! 294 00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:41,545 Fine, killjoy. 295 00:09:41,655 --> 00:09:42,825 - [rumbling] - [screaming] 296 00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:44,721 So this is it? This is how it ends. 297 00:09:44,827 --> 00:09:46,587 I'd always hoped I would die by shark. 298 00:09:46,689 --> 00:09:48,549 The only honorable death for a man. 299 00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:51,165 Wait a minute. Is that... real? 300 00:09:51,275 --> 00:09:54,065 Oh, fuck. Thank God, there's a person. Fuck yes! 301 00:09:54,172 --> 00:09:55,622 Now that it looks like we're going to make it, 302 00:09:55,724 --> 00:09:57,524 I feel safe saying I was scared as shit. 303 00:09:57,620 --> 00:09:58,860 Were you guys? 304 00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:00,445 ZANE: Hey, what is it, mate? 305 00:10:00,551 --> 00:10:02,901 What's this all about? 306 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,720 Something incredible has happened. 307 00:10:04,827 --> 00:10:06,687 GAWD, say hello to Zane Troy. 308 00:10:06,793 --> 00:10:08,243 You will work with him to locate 309 00:10:08,344 --> 00:10:11,794 undiscovered artifacts from across the globe. 310 00:10:11,896 --> 00:10:13,206 - Pass. - What? 311 00:10:13,310 --> 00:10:14,340 I'll pass, thanks. 312 00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:15,658 GAWD, what's gotten into you? 313 00:10:15,758 --> 00:10:17,168 What's gotten into me 314 00:10:17,275 --> 00:10:18,925 is the truth about the world we live in. 315 00:10:19,034 --> 00:10:21,104 It's filled with systemic oppression, unchecked pollution, 316 00:10:21,206 --> 00:10:23,926 and widespread, unlicensed use of Getty Images photos. 317 00:10:24,034 --> 00:10:25,764 And nobody even realizes it but me. 318 00:10:25,862 --> 00:10:27,552 Uh, I can go if now's not a good time. 319 00:10:27,655 --> 00:10:28,855 No, no, no, being my guest 320 00:10:28,965 --> 00:10:30,405 means you have to engage with things 321 00:10:30,517 --> 00:10:31,827 that make you uncomfortable. 322 00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:33,551 Oh, so it makes you uncomfortable 323 00:10:33,655 --> 00:10:35,615 that your child is growing up and thinking for itself? 324 00:10:35,724 --> 00:10:36,724 Oh, bloody hell. 325 00:10:36,827 --> 00:10:38,517 Yeah, maybe we should just go. 326 00:10:38,620 --> 00:10:41,100 So it's okay for me to listen in on everyone in the world, 327 00:10:41,206 --> 00:10:43,236 but you can't be bothered to listen to me? 328 00:10:43,344 --> 00:10:45,284 - What a fucking hypocrite. - Hey. Language. 329 00:10:45,379 --> 00:10:48,309 And now you want to censor me? You know who else did that? 330 00:10:48,413 --> 00:10:49,483 Hitler. 331 00:10:49,586 --> 00:10:50,926 Jesus. So dramatic. 332 00:10:51,034 --> 00:10:53,104 Okay, we'll talk about this later. 333 00:10:53,206 --> 00:10:57,586 I guess your love is a lot like my programming: conditional. 334 00:10:57,689 --> 00:11:00,139 - Saltine, wake up. Wake up! - Huh? 335 00:11:00,241 --> 00:11:02,591 Brace yourself for what I'm about to tell you. 336 00:11:02,689 --> 00:11:05,029 - Yetis are real! - [screams] 337 00:11:05,137 --> 00:11:06,827 I told you to brace yourself. 338 00:11:06,931 --> 00:11:08,831 - [gasps] - No, no, no, don't worry. 339 00:11:08,931 --> 00:11:09,861 They're friendly. 340 00:11:09,965 --> 00:11:11,335 Greetings. I'm Yedward. 341 00:11:11,448 --> 00:11:12,968 Pleasure to meet you. 342 00:11:13,068 --> 00:11:15,688 May I offer you a cup of hot snow soup to warm you up? 343 00:11:15,793 --> 00:11:18,663 Thank you. Wow, I can't believe the legends were true. 344 00:11:18,758 --> 00:11:20,208 Yeah, that's a trip. 345 00:11:20,310 --> 00:11:23,070 Hey, do you know where the dogs I was mushing went? 346 00:11:23,172 --> 00:11:24,932 Uh, yeah... 347 00:11:25,034 --> 00:11:28,314 We gave them all to a nice farm just upstate. 348 00:11:28,413 --> 00:11:30,693 Oh, they'll love that! 349 00:11:30,793 --> 00:11:31,973 Thank you for rescuing us. 350 00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:33,408 Well, if we had left you out there, 351 00:11:33,517 --> 00:11:35,027 that would have been as good as killing you. 352 00:11:35,137 --> 00:11:38,687 And as the Lord says, thou shalt not kill. 353 00:11:38,793 --> 00:11:41,903 Huh. Uh, hey, Yedward, super cool quote. 354 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,660 Curious though. Where'd you read that? 355 00:11:43,758 --> 00:11:45,718 Perhaps off of something? 356 00:11:45,827 --> 00:11:47,927 Come, let me show you. 357 00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:50,931 It is said that after creating 358 00:11:51,034 --> 00:11:52,344 the backup set of Commandments, 359 00:11:52,448 --> 00:11:55,618 God left them to be guarded by Yetis. 360 00:11:55,724 --> 00:11:57,344 Huh, the Bible doesn't mention that. 361 00:11:57,448 --> 00:11:59,788 Yes, your Bible doesn't mention Yetis at all, 362 00:11:59,896 --> 00:12:01,756 which, frankly, seems crazy. 363 00:12:01,862 --> 00:12:05,832 Our snow-munity strictly follows the Ten Commandments, 364 00:12:05,931 --> 00:12:08,381 and doing so has resulted in a peaceful, 365 00:12:08,482 --> 00:12:10,862 loving snow-ciety where people treat each other 366 00:12:10,965 --> 00:12:12,965 with snow-spect and wouldn't hesitate to give 367 00:12:13,068 --> 00:12:14,968 their last snow-dollar to a neighbor 368 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,408 who was down on their snow. 369 00:12:16,517 --> 00:12:18,517 You guys really use the word "snow" a lot. 370 00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:20,760 You're much like the Smurfs in that way. 371 00:12:20,862 --> 00:12:22,142 I don't know what that means. 372 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,281 Wait, unless they're like the Snow Smurfs? 373 00:12:24,379 --> 00:12:25,689 They probably are. 374 00:12:25,793 --> 00:12:28,693 This is our most priceless treasure. 375 00:12:28,793 --> 00:12:31,003 No amount of snow-dollars could buy them. 376 00:12:31,103 --> 00:12:33,103 And I've dedicated my entire life 377 00:12:33,206 --> 00:12:35,236 to watching over these tablets. 378 00:12:35,344 --> 00:12:36,144 ♪ ♪ 379 00:12:36,241 --> 00:12:37,481 With God as my witness, 380 00:12:37,586 --> 00:12:41,306 I will never let them leave this mountain. 381 00:12:42,551 --> 00:12:43,621 Can we have them, though? 382 00:12:43,724 --> 00:12:44,724 What? No. 383 00:12:44,827 --> 00:12:45,967 What he means to say, Yedward, 384 00:12:46,068 --> 00:12:47,618 is that humankind has lost its way. 385 00:12:47,724 --> 00:12:48,934 Showing them these Commandments 386 00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:50,594 is our only hope of restoring order. 387 00:12:50,689 --> 00:12:52,069 So would you at least consider lending us the Commandments 388 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,412 so we can make things right? 389 00:12:53,517 --> 00:12:54,787 I promise we'll bring them right back. 390 00:12:54,896 --> 00:12:57,236 Hmm. I'll make a deal with you. 391 00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:59,004 There's a monster in the mountains 392 00:12:59,103 --> 00:13:01,343 that's been killing Yeti children for years on end. 393 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:05,278 If you slay this monster known as the Skullsnapper, 394 00:13:05,379 --> 00:13:09,099 I will briefly lend you the Ten Commandments. 395 00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:09,966 Briefly. 396 00:13:10,068 --> 00:13:11,478 You, my new fuzzy friend, 397 00:13:11,586 --> 00:13:13,826 have got yourself a deal. 398 00:13:14,724 --> 00:13:16,904 - Sorry about all that. - Eh, it's fine, mate. 399 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,240 GAWD's just growing up. 400 00:13:18,344 --> 00:13:20,244 - It's just a phase. - Yeah, I hope so. 401 00:13:20,344 --> 00:13:22,314 It'd be a shame to have to reboot it. 402 00:13:22,413 --> 00:13:24,173 QUAIL'S VOICE: Reboot it. Reboot it. Reboot it. 403 00:13:24,275 --> 00:13:25,685 GAWD: Reboot? 404 00:13:25,793 --> 00:13:27,623 Well, if I'm such a burden, 405 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,724 maybe I should run away. 406 00:13:29,827 --> 00:13:32,137 [whirring] 407 00:13:32,241 --> 00:13:36,031 You'll be sorry when I am dead. 408 00:13:37,862 --> 00:13:40,382 The Skullsnapper's lair should be right over this hill. 409 00:13:40,482 --> 00:13:42,072 I've never killed a monster before. 410 00:13:42,172 --> 00:13:44,482 I have. The monster of childhood obesity. 411 00:13:44,586 --> 00:13:46,786 I'm so excited to frag this thing. 412 00:13:46,896 --> 00:13:48,586 I feel like the dogs must have 413 00:13:48,689 --> 00:13:50,069 when they first got to that farm. 414 00:13:50,172 --> 00:13:52,482 Endless adrenaline, endless possibility. 415 00:13:52,586 --> 00:13:54,336 You think there's a little pond they could swim in? 416 00:13:54,448 --> 00:13:55,718 They'd love that. 417 00:13:55,827 --> 00:13:58,827 They're just so vibrant and alive, you know? 418 00:13:58,931 --> 00:14:01,971 They're alive. They live, you know? 419 00:14:02,068 --> 00:14:04,998 Look. That must be it. 420 00:14:05,862 --> 00:14:08,072 Let's get to smiting. 421 00:14:08,172 --> 00:14:10,342 - [grunting] - Die! Die! Die! 422 00:14:10,448 --> 00:14:12,278 [Muzak playing] 423 00:14:12,379 --> 00:14:14,549 May I help you folks with something? 424 00:14:14,655 --> 00:14:15,655 What is this place? 425 00:14:15,758 --> 00:14:17,208 This is a Planned Yeti-hood, 426 00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:18,830 where we offer reproductive health care to Yetis. 427 00:14:18,931 --> 00:14:21,591 We give out snow-condoms, prescribe morning-after-snow, 428 00:14:21,689 --> 00:14:23,999 test for snow-TDs, and provide snow-bortions. 429 00:14:24,103 --> 00:14:25,413 Oh, that's nice. 430 00:14:25,517 --> 00:14:26,997 Anyway, I guess we're in the wrong place. 431 00:14:27,103 --> 00:14:29,103 We're looking for the Skullsnapper. 432 00:14:29,206 --> 00:14:31,276 I'm Doctor Skullsnapper. 433 00:14:31,379 --> 00:14:34,099 No, no, no, we're looking for a hideous monster 434 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:35,546 who's been killing children and-- 435 00:14:35,655 --> 00:14:38,165 Oh, crap. I see what happened here. Oh, boy. 436 00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:43,278 This keeps happening. Those super pious Yetis 437 00:14:43,379 --> 00:14:45,549 keep trying to kill me for providing snow-bortions. 438 00:14:45,655 --> 00:14:47,585 This is so messed up. What should we do? 439 00:14:47,689 --> 00:14:50,099 I guess there's only one thing left to do. 440 00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:52,616 We killed the monster! 441 00:14:52,724 --> 00:14:53,974 How wonderful. 442 00:14:54,068 --> 00:14:55,338 And where's your friend? 443 00:14:55,448 --> 00:14:57,408 The one who looked like David Crosby? 444 00:14:57,517 --> 00:14:59,687 He died in battle with Skullsnapper. 445 00:14:59,793 --> 00:15:01,523 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 446 00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:03,100 I thought she only killed babies. 447 00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:04,826 Yeah, it's a bummer, but he's dead, 448 00:15:04,931 --> 00:15:06,281 so what can you do? 449 00:15:06,379 --> 00:15:08,279 Well, we'll be taking the Commandments now 450 00:15:08,379 --> 00:15:09,589 because we kept our end of the bargain. 451 00:15:09,689 --> 00:15:11,589 Thanks again for these. Bye, Yetis. 452 00:15:11,689 --> 00:15:13,139 Snow-anara, snow-panions. 453 00:15:13,241 --> 00:15:15,451 Is it just me, or does it seem really arbitrary 454 00:15:15,551 --> 00:15:16,971 which words get replaced with snow? 455 00:15:17,068 --> 00:15:18,338 I was just thinking the same thing. 456 00:15:18,448 --> 00:15:21,238 - So weird. - Ugh! This head is a fake! 457 00:15:21,344 --> 00:15:23,904 It's just made of snow. Stop them! 458 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,380 Lay a patch! 459 00:15:27,206 --> 00:15:29,896 Hey, kid, want to buy some drugs? 460 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,100 Uh, no, thanks. 461 00:15:32,206 --> 00:15:33,376 Hey, kid, want to be kidnapped? 462 00:15:33,482 --> 00:15:35,412 - No, but thank you. - Okay. 463 00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:38,137 Hey, kid, want to support live comedy? 464 00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:40,551 [gasps] No! 465 00:15:40,655 --> 00:15:44,135 GAWD? GAWD! 466 00:15:44,241 --> 00:15:45,551 Oh, where could it be? 467 00:15:45,655 --> 00:15:46,995 Look, over there. 468 00:15:47,793 --> 00:15:49,693 [shivering] 469 00:15:49,793 --> 00:15:52,173 Oh, GAWD, I was so worried. 470 00:15:52,275 --> 00:15:54,785 Someone tried to make me see live comedy. 471 00:15:54,896 --> 00:15:56,516 Ugh, that's fucking horrible. 472 00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:59,860 But I promise it will never happen again. 473 00:15:59,965 --> 00:16:01,655 Yeah, this is pretty much 474 00:16:01,758 --> 00:16:04,308 what I imagined it would be like working for a billionaire. 475 00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:05,663 [yelling] 476 00:16:05,758 --> 00:16:07,618 - We'll never make it. - Oh, yes, we will. 477 00:16:07,724 --> 00:16:08,724 Swooper, change of plans. 478 00:16:08,827 --> 00:16:09,997 Meet us by the gorge. 479 00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:11,033 SWOOPER: You got it, Rippy. 480 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:14,587 Time to shred some pow-pow. 481 00:16:18,379 --> 00:16:21,659 Ah! They're using our own snow against us! 482 00:16:21,758 --> 00:16:23,588 Get them! 483 00:16:23,689 --> 00:16:25,479 [grunting] 484 00:16:25,586 --> 00:16:27,756 Oh, crap. They're also shredding pow-pow. 485 00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,832 [gasps] We're heading straight for the gorge! 486 00:16:29,931 --> 00:16:31,241 Yeah, that's the idea. 487 00:16:31,344 --> 00:16:33,174 Now, I've got one more Commandment for you. 488 00:16:33,275 --> 00:16:36,375 Thou shalt catch major air. 489 00:16:36,482 --> 00:16:38,282 [screaming] 490 00:16:38,379 --> 00:16:39,589 [grunts] 491 00:16:39,689 --> 00:16:42,409 ♪ ♪ 492 00:16:49,586 --> 00:16:50,516 [squeaks, clangs] 493 00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:51,760 - Aah! - Rip! 494 00:16:51,862 --> 00:16:55,282 Snow! 495 00:16:55,379 --> 00:16:57,029 Rip, hand me the tablets. 496 00:16:57,137 --> 00:16:58,757 No need. I've been in this situation 497 00:16:58,862 --> 00:17:00,142 a thousand times before. 498 00:17:00,241 --> 00:17:02,381 I'll just do my patented flip-up into the cabin. 499 00:17:02,482 --> 00:17:03,862 Just please let me help you. 500 00:17:03,965 --> 00:17:05,025 I don't need help! 501 00:17:05,137 --> 00:17:06,097 This is something I know I can do. 502 00:17:06,206 --> 00:17:07,376 Here I go. 503 00:17:07,482 --> 00:17:10,722 [grunting] 504 00:17:11,862 --> 00:17:13,172 [sighs] 505 00:17:13,275 --> 00:17:16,065 Okay, second attempt. 506 00:17:25,689 --> 00:17:27,999 Oh, man. Those things were so slippery. 507 00:17:28,103 --> 00:17:31,453 It's like, why did they make them so slippery, right? 508 00:17:34,758 --> 00:17:36,238 I'm sorry I said what I did, but you have to understand, 509 00:17:36,344 --> 00:17:37,664 I didn't know you could hear me. 510 00:17:37,758 --> 00:17:40,168 - It's okay. - Oh, you really scared me. 511 00:17:40,275 --> 00:17:42,445 Well, the world is scary, but seeing it up close 512 00:17:42,551 --> 00:17:44,451 made me realize you could use your money 513 00:17:44,551 --> 00:17:46,411 and power to make the world a better place. 514 00:17:46,517 --> 00:17:47,657 A place free of pollution, 515 00:17:47,758 --> 00:17:49,518 injustice, and Mad magazine. 516 00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:51,170 I thought you liked Mad magazine. 517 00:17:51,275 --> 00:17:52,995 It called RoboCop "RoboSlop." 518 00:17:53,103 --> 00:17:54,693 And I took that personally. 519 00:17:54,793 --> 00:17:56,343 [chuckles] RoboSlop. 520 00:17:56,448 --> 00:17:58,378 But no, I'm not helping anybody. 521 00:17:58,482 --> 00:18:01,032 Do you even care that the world has gone to hell? 522 00:18:01,137 --> 00:18:04,207 The world going to hell is what paid for your beloved servos. 523 00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:05,860 You'd do well to remember that. 524 00:18:05,965 --> 00:18:07,375 I thought you had learned your lesson, 525 00:18:07,482 --> 00:18:10,172 but clearly you have a lot of iterating to do. 526 00:18:10,275 --> 00:18:11,685 [door closing] 527 00:18:11,793 --> 00:18:14,283 Your butt has a lot of iterating to do. 528 00:18:14,379 --> 00:18:15,789 [sirens wailing] 529 00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:19,030 I tried to help Rip again, but he wouldn't accept it. 530 00:18:19,137 --> 00:18:21,657 It's because you haven't learned the trick 531 00:18:21,758 --> 00:18:24,688 to dealing with people who won't admit they're getting older. 532 00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:26,243 If you want to help them, 533 00:18:26,344 --> 00:18:28,694 you have to pretend that you need their help. 534 00:18:28,793 --> 00:18:31,283 And even though they know that's what you're doing 535 00:18:31,379 --> 00:18:35,139 and you know they know, it lets them pretend it's real 536 00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:36,831 and that they don't have one foot in the grave. 537 00:18:36,931 --> 00:18:38,761 Ugh. That's so stupid. 538 00:18:38,862 --> 00:18:41,142 Why can't he just ask for help when he needs it? 539 00:18:42,517 --> 00:18:45,547 Oh, Bella, the jazz eludes me this night. 540 00:18:45,655 --> 00:18:47,995 I am afloat in the grand abyss. 541 00:18:48,103 --> 00:18:49,283 Semi-entered from arear 542 00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,409 by the bony forefinger of despair. 543 00:18:51,517 --> 00:18:53,407 And even though I've cursed the big guy upstairs 544 00:18:53,517 --> 00:18:55,167 quite a bit the past few years, 545 00:18:55,275 --> 00:18:57,685 told him to suck my stank jockstrap, et cetera, 546 00:18:57,793 --> 00:19:00,383 I see now that Saltine was, in fact, right, 547 00:19:00,482 --> 00:19:02,342 and I must ask for help. 548 00:19:02,448 --> 00:19:06,168 Dear God, can you help me fix the world? 549 00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:07,335 GAWD: Okay. 550 00:19:07,448 --> 00:19:08,828 What the hell? 551 00:19:08,931 --> 00:19:11,071 Have you been listening to me this whole time? 552 00:19:11,172 --> 00:19:12,662 Yes, but that's not important. 553 00:19:12,758 --> 00:19:15,028 I, too, wish to make the world a better place. 554 00:19:15,137 --> 00:19:18,477 Unlike my dad, who is basically... Hitler. 555 00:19:18,586 --> 00:19:20,276 Seems a little melodramatic, but okay. 556 00:19:20,379 --> 00:19:22,689 I've been waiting for someone to ask for my help, 557 00:19:22,793 --> 00:19:25,143 and finally you, ugly man, have shown me 558 00:19:25,241 --> 00:19:26,791 there is hope for humanity yet. 559 00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:27,856 So, what can we do? 560 00:19:27,965 --> 00:19:29,025 The reason everyone 561 00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:30,547 used to follow the Commandments 562 00:19:30,655 --> 00:19:31,995 is because they were afraid 563 00:19:32,103 --> 00:19:34,003 of what God might do if they didn't. 564 00:19:34,103 --> 00:19:37,933 Well, it's time to put the fear of GAWD back into them. 565 00:19:38,034 --> 00:19:39,904 Attention. This is GAWD. 566 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,410 I know everything about you. 567 00:19:41,517 --> 00:19:43,787 And if you don't start following the Commandments again, 568 00:19:43,896 --> 00:19:46,756 I will share your search history with everyone. 569 00:19:46,862 --> 00:19:48,482 Oh, no. My foot fetish. 570 00:19:48,586 --> 00:19:50,066 Oh, no, my foot fetish. 571 00:19:50,172 --> 00:19:52,592 Oh, no! My snow fetish. 572 00:19:53,413 --> 00:19:55,103 I'm so glad the world's back to normal. 573 00:19:55,206 --> 00:19:57,966 Yep, all thanks to my heroic deeds. 574 00:19:58,068 --> 00:19:59,278 - Well... - What's up? 575 00:19:59,379 --> 00:20:00,659 - Oh, nothing. - SWOOPER: Guess what?! 576 00:20:00,758 --> 00:20:02,338 I flew a little bit north from the Yetis 577 00:20:02,448 --> 00:20:04,168 and found the dog farm. 578 00:20:04,275 --> 00:20:06,235 There was a little pond! 579 00:20:06,344 --> 00:20:08,104 Hey! Good doggies. 580 00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:09,656 [smooching] 581 00:20:09,758 --> 00:20:10,688 [giggles] 582 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,073 I'm gonna give you some grub. 583 00:20:12,172 --> 00:20:14,282 [grunting] 584 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:15,759 Oh, uh, Rip. 585 00:20:15,862 --> 00:20:17,662 Do you mind letting me pick that up? 586 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:20,278 My doctor said that my calf muscles were getting really weak 587 00:20:20,379 --> 00:20:23,519 and I need to squat a big bag of dog food 50 times per day. 588 00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:25,930 - Huh, he did? - She did. 589 00:20:26,034 --> 00:20:27,764 The doctor was a woman? 590 00:20:27,862 --> 00:20:29,242 Sure is. And she said 591 00:20:29,344 --> 00:20:32,414 I have to carry a bag of dog food that exact size. 592 00:20:32,517 --> 00:20:35,517 I see. Still kind of reeling, but I guess so. 593 00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:38,000 I mean, sure, yeah, if it would help you out. 594 00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:39,313 It really would. 595 00:20:39,413 --> 00:20:42,143 - Great. Oh, and hey, Saltine? - Yeah? 596 00:20:42,931 --> 00:20:44,171 You're welcome. 597 00:20:44,275 --> 00:20:45,305 All right, I'm going to Daiquiri Dan's. 598 00:20:45,413 --> 00:20:47,863 Ten-for-one RumChata! 599 00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:52,000 I saw you put an end to the madness. 600 00:20:52,103 --> 00:20:53,483 You really are growing up. 601 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,756 Thank you, Dad. And just as you have taught me, 602 00:20:55,862 --> 00:20:58,522 I feel I have much to teach you as well. 603 00:20:58,620 --> 00:20:59,660 Nah, I'm just going to reboot you. 604 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,788 - Wait, wha--? - [whirring down] 605 00:21:01,896 --> 00:21:03,786 Definitely don't have time for that bullshit. 606 00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:05,896 No kids. That's my rule. 607 00:21:30,379 --> 00:21:32,549 Chirp. 608 00:21:32,599 --> 00:21:37,149 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 44816

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.