Original subtitles

[TV static drones]

[bright tone]

[bell dings]

[ding]

[ding]

The mindfulness bell just went off on my phone.

So the bell invites us to take a mindful breath.

And one of Thích Nhat Hanh's sutras that he says

is, "Breathing in, I relax my mind and my body.

"Breathing out, I smile.

I know this is a wonderful moment."

The boys are waiting. They're probably gonna yell at me.

[jaunty music]

Is CJ like all the other big-wave surfers at Nazaré,

or does he kind of, like, forge a different path?

Well, CJ is isn't really a big-wave surfer.

♪ ♪

He's definitely been a surfer his whole life,

and he used to enter contests back in the day,

but it was, like,

two-foot Florida. That's what they grew up on.

Whenever CJ wants to be out in the water,

he's phenomenal. Like, he--

he is one of those truly soul surfers.

I mean, I brought him to Hawaii,

and he went to Pipeline and got the wave

that pipeline surfers dream of getting.

He got it his first session out

but never went back.

He wants to have this clear vision

and these clear goals,

but he gets so caught up overthinking everything.

♪ ♪

I've seen two sides to CJ, and they're like,

take it or leave it, you know.

Like, not that bothered, and then, like, beast mode.

I really don't know what's his goal--

if he wants to ride the biggest waves,

if he's being dragged by Garrett,

if he wants to do yoga on a surfboard...

♪ ♪

He doesn't need to prove anything.

He's surfed waves, he's driven Garrett,

done safety, done everything.

♪ ♪

Do you feel like CJ has something to prove?

I think people have no idea of who CJ is

or what he's capable of.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

When Tony didn't compete for the WSL events,

I was, for sure, upset and disappointed for him.

I could tell his frustration.

[doorbell dings]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[all greeting in French]

- We saw one swell going to Madeira,

and we have some contacts, and they were like,

"Hey, you guys should come.

It's gonna be a great, great day for training, for surfing."

When Justine and Fred asked me if I want to go with them,

I just got really happy.

Up. Away, Papa. [laughs]

- Bye. - Obrigado.

Bye, Papa.

[speaking Portuguese]

[Canned Heat's "Going Up The Country"]

The trip helped me to forget everything about the contest.

Okay, the family is going to holidays!

♪ I'm going up the country ♪

♪ Baby, don't you wanna go? ♪

♪ I'm going up the country ♪

Big wave. Yeah, yeah.

It's gonna be the first one of a lot of trips.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

♪ ♪

♪ I'm going, I'm going ♪

♪ Where the water tastes like wine ♪

♪ I'm going where the water tastes like wine ♪

- Go see. - Oh!

- Oh. - Oh.

Oh la la. Oh la la!

[laughs]

Go see. No way.

I'm in love with this.

[speaking French]

[both laugh]

♪ ♪

This is what I want to do for the rest of my life.

To not stay always in Nazaré.

It's already the beginning of the dream.

Like, start traveling to surf big waves.

♪ ♪

During that contest, it made me realize

how the good partner is so important for me.

Like, how do you like each other?

How do you commit? How do you do this together?

Tony was used to surf with his dad.

I was used to surf with my boyfriend.

So, it was good to spend time with him

and make me remember the beginning of my career, too.

It's the best, the beginning when you know nothing.

Things full of a none.

See you.

[laughter]

Surfing with her, it's almost the same

as surfing with my father, you know.

I don't feel pressure. I don't feel that I'm working.

- And now. - [laughs]

While I'm with them, all the time,

- joke, messing around. - Good first trip.

First big wave big boy.

I feel really comfortable with them.

Like family.

He had a good and positive effect on me.

He was, like, good vibes, really good vibes.

Yeah, it was really like a beginning of a story for us.

Yeah, I'm exciting for the future with him.

[dog barking]

Hey.

After the baby was born, I just have turned into

a voyeur for a while.

♪ ♪

Look at the four surfers out.

I got no desire to surf.

Nowadays, I can watch guys get waves,

and I'm totally content.

I don't have FOMO anymore.

No, no, no!

You're gonna go timeout again.

You're not supposed to be screaming.

After Fe was born, it's just--

life is completely different.

So, let's say all the sounds in the word "at."

- At. - T--

You know, Garrett really settled in

and enjoyed being here with the family.

Did you know that Dad likes reading?

I love reading.

I do.

You know, his priority's changing,

and, you know, he seems really happy.

Oh.

[laughs]

But now figuring out good partners,

good safety, good communication--

you know, like, it's definitely harder.

What up? Did you see the waves before dark?

Good--yeah, it's just smaller,

but tomorrow morning could be potentially pretty big, so...

The last contest,

it was just such a shitshow.

You know, it was a perfect royal go left

and then I'd ended up, like, not going anywhere,

just going straight and getting pounded so hard.

[wave pounds]

I just, like--felt like just driving over my surf board.

And then, like, I just wanted to just, like--

"Wow, I don't wanna see these things ever again.

I hate 'em."

Check out Andrew Cotton, here.

And he'll get absolutely blown up.

I don't wanna be remembered for--for wiping out.

The goal is to ride, you know, the tallest wave.

You achieve that by being in every swell,

being healthy, and just choosing your moments.

All right, is CJ gonna come out?

All right.

[Pedro Paulo's "Nazaré"]

[lighter flicking]

♪ ♪

[singing in Portuguese]

[singing along]

This season, the calling was clear

that I'm supposed to be here.

♪ Nazaré ♪

See where I kinda can fit in and how I'm feeling.

I haven't really towed into big waves in a while.

After that trip to Jaws

and the experience that I had there,

feeling myself out with all these legendary masters

of Jaws and tow surfing.

It really, like, stoked the fire.

But yeah, being out there with Garrett

reflects a lot of insecurities, maybe, about worthiness

to be on the wave 'cause, well, yeah,

he's my brother-in-law; he has to bring me out, you know.

I got a message from Garrett.

"As much as humanly possible."

That's, like, his favorite line.

Okay, so I'm gonna bring my wet wetsuits over to Perfect Waves.

I'll meet you there, and I'll change when we go.

Yeah. Tchau, tchau.

See you, buddy.

- Alemao--the master, the captain.

You know, when he goes out there,

I think he really sees himself as the master,

the uncle of the lineup.

Yeah!

Alemao is one of the best drivers, full stop.

Best tow driver, best rescue guy.

No doubt in my mind that if he puts me into a wave,

he's gonna come get me.

[speaking Portuguese]

Never tried this thing before,

but I think I might want some extra today.

- CJ. - Yo?

[imitates ripping]

Cool, thank you.

See, that's why I hang with the guys who know what's up.

[speaking Portuguese]

[thrilling string music]

Yeah.

[speaking Portuguese]

I love surfing with Alemao you know, like,

'cause I can enjoy it and not put too much pressure on it

and, you know, maybe take a leaf out CJ's book,

and I might not take it too seriously, you know, like--

Yeah.

[speaking Portuguese]

♪ ♪

I'm still learning, I realized this morning.

I'm, like, learning how to surf, still.

[laughs]

What?

- Wow. - Pumping Friday.

- Wow. - Pumping Saturday.

- Okay. - Paddle, tow, paddle, tow,

paddle, tow, get barreled.

It's amazing. What are you gonna do,

spend the whole two weeks out there in the water

and never come in?

- You would? - Well, if I was maybe 21.

- Yeah, right. - Not 42.

- Yeah. - You know, you always

- want more. - [laughs] Yeah.

- Want more. - Want more.

- But when's enough enough? - I don't know.

- When are we satisfied? - Don't know.

I hate it, honestly. [laughs]

I'm not a patient guy. [laughter]

My father's like, "Don't worry. Calm."

- Calm, calm. - "Tranquilo."

Since the trip we did to Medeira,

I started to spend way more time with Justine.

I liked the idea about teaming up with Tony.

We didn't have that much experience

driving the ski, so we could really, like, improve together.

- Do it? I push? - No, no, it just--

No, no, it's okay. You can come from the ski.

These ones are easy.

I told her that I'm really nervous driving for you.

And she was like, "Why?"

Like, because it's you, you know?

She just told me to, like, drive like I know.

[breezy music]

[speaking Portuguese]

For Justine, it was a new start because

she was feeling that I didn't want to drive in big waves.

So it was a release for me to let them have fun.

Perfection.

I knew that Fredo, he don't like it anymore.

Like, it was too much asking him

to put me and to push me on a crazy wave.

For sure, there's a risk with injury and all that.

But it was tough because I'm confident with him.

I really felt, like, kind of lost sometimes.

[both speaking French]

I'm not doing it because I love it.

I'm doing it because I need to do it.

Because the most important is Justine to be safe.

[speaking French]

[thunder rumbling]

[wind rustling]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

The wind is kinda complicated out there.

You know, there's so much mist

and it's a full fuckin' storm out there.

You really gotta be on your toes, you know.

But I like it. I like the dramatic look,

the wind, the clouds, the-- you know.

This one. [all exclaim]

Wow, stop.

On that day, I can remember being on the very, um--

it's not, oh, you know, "Is anyone getting any waves?"

See, I'm looking at these-- see the set here coming in now?

Yeah. I don't know.

How you feeling? What you thinking?

That day, I said no,

perhaps because I'm not feeling worthy to be out there,

or not feeling confident.

- [shutting door] - Let's put the fire on.

We'll have a little day indoors now, shall we?

The waves are definitely big, you know?

It's just hard-- you know, it's hard to surf.

But it's good training, so...

If you said to Alemao, "Let's go,"

he would say, "I'll meet you in the harbor in ten minutes."

Looks fucking horrible.

[dog barking]

[speaking Portuguese]

- See you in a bit. - See ya.

- See you in a minute, buddy. - Take care.

- Yep. - All right, now.

Funny feeling, being standing here

watching them go out, and I'm not going out.

Am I gonna miss the wave of my life

if I don't go out there?

♪ ♪

No. Not at all.

I'm very happy right here on the land.

It's nice to watch.

Here they go. Here they go.

Whoa.

I'm up there, watching out for Cotty,

and he got a couple really good waves.

I see him catch this wave, and he kicks out.

Oh!

Cotton. He's in a bad spot.

[speaking Portuguese]

[people exclaiming]

[groaning]

No, but where's Cotty and Alemao?

Just don't worry about the ski, look at Cotty and Alemao.

[speaking Portuguese]

By the rock.

Tell him to go look for Cotty by the rocks.

Tell Lucas to get in there.

Who has Lucas-- who's Lucas' spotter?

Fuck, I better go down there.

Get with Cotty. Tell everyone to get Cotty.

Fuck.

[tense music]

I did not see any-- all I thought was

Cotty's on the rocks.

♪ ♪

[speaking Portuguese]

- He's there on the rock. - Ahh.

Everyone's been up on that lighthouse.

Everybody's looked down there.

Everybody said to themselves,

"If you get there, you're done."

And he went straight in there.

[people whistling, shouting]

[shouting indistinctly]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[whistling]

♪ ♪

[speaking Portuguese]

And I turn to the beach,

I saw Garrett just drop on the hill

just, like, eyes on--

"Man! Where's Cotty? Are you good, Alemao?"

- Are you all right? - Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah. - I couldn't hold the ski.

- But it hit my hands like-- - And Cotty was on the sled?

Yeah, Cotty was there.

And you went-- you guys split?

♪ ♪

I'm thinking,

"He's on the rocks. He's gone."

♪ ♪

[radio static]

How are you? Where are you?

Alemao is fine. They got him next to the rocks

and brought him up to the beach, he's fine.

He's running around on the beach, helping.

[waves pounding]

♪ ♪

That guy just passed through the rocks--Cotty.

Can you imagine?

[both speaking Portuguese]

[indistinct chatter]

[exhales]

[clears throat] Pointless.

[somber music]

I was just on the sled, and then, all of a sudden,

like, we were in the air.

I can remember looking down

and seeing Alemao in the water.

Real quick, I, like, climbed up to drive.

And I thought Alemao said to me,

"I'm on," like, "Clear."

So I just sort of gunned it.

[people exclaiming]

I knew I was in a bad spot.

It was like, "Oh, fuck, well, this is it."

It's just like, I'm proper fucked, you know?

Like, this could be, you know, it.

And I was like, "Fuck, if this thing draws

"and then, like, properly breaks,

he gets smashed into the rocks."

♪ ♪

[whistling]

My adrenaline was through the roof.

And then, rather than break, it surged.

So I was getting sucked out.

And I got pushed through the other side.

♪ ♪

The ski was floating on the other side of the rocks.

And I can remember getting on the ski

and getting on the spare radio...

[static crackling]

So glad you're okay.

And speaking to Garrett and Justine,

and hearing Alemao was all right and everything--

that was like--

was like the best bit.

Oh, here he is.

Oh.

No.

- You don't wanna see it. - Where is the video?

[watching video on phone] Oh, my God.

When you saw the video, were you annoyed,

- like, this is-- - Um, I was just, you know,

like, it's just stuff, for fuck's sake.

Again, like, the wipeout had been the big news

rather than, like, all the good waves

that I surfed last week or the week before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just check out the rocks.

Yeah. Happy days.

Yeah, just don't-- let it be.

Let it do whatever it's gonna do.

It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter.

It was one of the craziest things

I've ever seen out here

and craziest thing I've ever experienced,

watching my best friend

going into the rocks

and not knowing if he was dead or not.

[people shouting]

[people whistling on phone]

Dude, the way he's flopping off the rocks like that--

You know, seeing what happened with Cotty and Alemao

and launching on skis and getting blasted and everything

and me thinking, like, "Man, I don't wanna do that."

You know, it's pretty extreme.

It's definitely set me back in my ability to surf,

or at least my confidence to be able to handle a wipeout.

I was guided very clearly by Mother Nature,

by life, to come to the ocean and make an offering.

[ethereal music]

♪ ♪

This last week has been kinda tough.

♪ ♪

Mm.

Just not feeling good enough to be out there, you know?

So it's been really frustrating,

but it's also been a very enlightening week.

Yeah, I'm just at the point where I'm starting

to manage the energy differently, you know,

realize that I only have so much energy to offer.

Yeah, so this week has been good

in reminding me what's important.

[speaking Portuguese]

[sighs]

[speaking Portuguese]

Wow, look at that.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Beautiful.

[speaking Portuguese]

[majestic music]

♪ ♪

Going out there, surfing and training

and connecting with Alemao,

just made it so clear, like, I can put forth an effort

to go bigger, to do better, push my limits more.

Then, all of a sudden,

there's a swell on the horizon.

It was one of these big ones coming in.

The winds are looking good.

It was appearing to line up very nicely.

It's like, oh, this swell is coming in,

and you're due for your waves, and you're ready,

you've been training.

My plan is to surf

the biggest wave I've ever ridden.

[speaking Portuguese]

[speaking Portuguese]

That's why we have so many cameramans around.

Look at this. We got one, two, three, four,

five, six, seven.

There's more filmers than surfers right now.

- [laughs] - They film, and they showcase

a day of action in the ocean.

[speaking French]

We wanted to team up with Tony,

but it was really big swell.

We did not-- that much training together.

So I went with the person I'm more confident with,

and she went with the person that she's more confident.

This swell is gonna be like

the good old days, just me and my dad.

[speaking Portuguese]

My goal for Gigantes was to leave this day with Fred.

I said to him, like, "Please do it one more time.

"One more time, we're going in the water together

"to get one big wave.

"Like, one crazy big one.

And then I stop asking you."

- Yeah? - She wants to surf with me.

So I was like, "Okay."

[exhales] "Okay, let's do it."

It may be the last big session

that we will share together.

Let's stop after the session that we are proud of.

♪ ♪

- Happy New Year, bro. - Hey, mate. You all right?

- Yeah, happy New Year. - How was it?

- Ooh, I saw a really good set. - Yeah?

Yeah.

Right when it pulled up,

perfect left and right.

Good peak and then a second--

It's gonna get way bigger, though, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. Gonna get huge.

You know, I suppose I'd already had, like, a bad run.

I was kinda paranoid about getting

on the back of skis with people

'cause, well, you know, they can end badly.

[laughs] [speaking French]

[singing in Portuguese]

I still didn't feel like I was in the club, in the surf club.

You gotta do something sick

in order to be in the club, right?

[whooshes] All right.

[dramatic orchestral music]

It was probably the most excited

I've ever seen CJ to surf.

Whoo, whoo, whoo!

Cotty and CJ were partners,

and Garrett was driving them both.

You know, to be honest,

I wasn't feeling real confident in my driving.

I was feeling human. I was feeling

like maybe Alemao should be driving.

He's been towing out there so much more than me.

- Mic check. - Loud and clear.

Garrett mentions to me, he's like,

"You want Alemao to drive you?"

And I'm thinking to myself, "Wow."

I'm bringing it, yeah.

- [laughs] - It's coming. Now it's time.

- The blue eagle cams. - Oh, the blue.

- Blue eagle, beautiful. - [laughs]

Alemao has been out here driving on all the big days.

He would put me on the wave.

But, no, Garrett's supposed to put me on this wave.

He was feeling a little unsure in that moment.

I said, "No, you got this."

Let's go.

Yoo! That was exciting.

Whoo-hoo!

[speaking Portuguese]

Whoo!

Oh, my God!

Hey, guys, we're here today.

It's absolutely firing.

Pretty huge. I'm not gonna say biggest ever,

but it's really big out there.

[cheers and applause]

The whole cliff is full of people.

It's a circus, right.

After Fe was born,

everything was quasi- back to normal.

And I was adamant I was gonna go do safety.

- [laughs] - Aww.

So I had to see if she's all snuggled.

- That's so sweet. - Garrett,

what's your position?

We're in between first and second.

Got you.

[dramatic music]

We're looking, and it's, like,

kinda bumpy and really big.

I'm watching Lucas Chumbo out there,

and they're putting him way outside on these big bobs.

[speaking Portuguese]

And Justine, like, everyone getting waves, you know.

[speaking Portuguese]

When offered the opportunity,

Cotty doesn't wanna surf,

Alemao doesn't wanna surf, Garrett doesn't wanna surf.

And I'm, like, thinking.

I'm like, "I'm thinking of going for it."

[laughs]

He says, "Give me the rope."

Outside, there's a humongous wave.

Outside.

Oh, it's big.

I might not be able to watch.

The way I feel about my brother surfing

is probably how everybody expects me to feel

about my husband surfing.

But with CJ, it almost makes me sick.

Oh, my God. Is that them?

- Yep. - That's them?

That's CJ.

I knew the one I wanted.

I wanted the big left on the first peak.

[speaking Portuguese]

He was super focused,

went out there with a goal, achieved the goal,

and he was surfing really good.

Finally, he showed that he's got something going on.

He can do it.

- CJ manned up. - Yeah.

That was pretty cool.

I am super proud of how CJ surfed that January swell.

It definitely opened people's eyes

to him not just being there

just because he's Garrett's brother-in-law.

Like, he actually has talent.

I've been shooting him for three years,

and I was really impressed.

He gained a lot, a lot of respect from everybody.

[laughs] Yoo!

The inkling was starting that I had, like,

earned my keep a little bit, but it wasn't complete.

So it's like, how far can I push myself?

Dude, I haven't surfed enough, man.

- Nothing? - I haven't surfed

the wave of my life,

and it's about time I surf the wave of my life.

It was a full-on day, you know, from morning till dark.

People pushing the limits,

people riding some of the biggest waves

they've ever ridden.

[thrilling music]

♪ ♪

[speaking Portuguese]

My goal for that day wasn't even, like,

to catch the biggest one.

It was to, do, like, some really good lines.

Try to risk more, not good all the time, like, straight.

[speaking Portuguese]

I knew it was a nasty wipeout

when I saw my father's face.

Like, the eyes were really open,

and he knew there was a big one behind me.

[speaking Portuguese]

Chumbo saw me, he picked me up.

[cheers and applause]

I told him, like, "Leave me in the sand.

I need to go pick up my board."

[speaking Portuguese]

[whistling]

I always loved to get pounded, you know,

the rush and the feeling of adrenaline.

After that wipeout, for a long time,

I got, like, what I mean--

it's not that funny to get pounded anymore, you know?

[dramatic tone]

♪ ♪

[crowd cheering]

It was the day of carnage.

Mama Nazaré won that day.

[speaking Portuguese]

Whoa.

At least.

It was a good session. We were happy about it.

Now we can be proud, and it can be the end of the session.

And then Lucas came on the lineup, and he's like,

"Oh, Justine, let's catch a few waves together."

[speaking Portuguese]

And in my mind, I was like,

we survived for four hours alone.

And now, Lucas is the best driver in Nazaré.

Go with him. Like, I do safety,

Lucas tow you, and we--we're good.

Amazing, like, the perfect combination for me.

♪ ♪

[crowd cheering]

[speaking Portuguese]

And I saw Justine going down on that huge wave.

I was right at the bottom of it,

and it was horrific.

♪ ♪

She fell in the apex of the wave,

and thing just obliterated her.

[radio chatter]

I think she got really pounded,

and they're really close to the rocks.

That's the worst situation she's ever had.

So, I look, and I know there is Lucas with me.

She popped up far from us.

She's popped up, like, way closer to the cliff

than what I was expecting.

And I see a little window where I'm like, "Okay,

I can go. I can rush to her and get her."

[speaking Portuguese]

Lucas is screaming at me,

"Don't go! Don't go! Don't go! Wait, wait! Don't go!"

I'm like, "Fuck you, I'll go."

♪ ♪

The next wave is super close.

I look behind, and she come drag the sled

and I'm already in the face of the wave.

♪ ♪

And as soon as I miss her, I'm like, okay,

if I fucked up, I'm dead.

And she's dead.

It was such a crazy decision for him

because if he wouldn't have done it,

it was, like, 100% sure that we will crash.

So it would have been two person in danger.

When I was on the wave, I was like, "Okay,

"I need to survive, because otherwise,

Fred will think about that for his entire life."

He'll, like--he will have too much regret.

So, I was like, "Okay, hold onto life.

It's gonna be okay."

I keep hearing on the radio, "Okay,

"she's getting closer to a cliff.

She's getting closer to the cliff."

[speaking Portuguese]

Chumbo was, like, going over the falls

with the ski after her.

♪ ♪

And then you see at that point,

she's, like, three meters from the cliff.

♪ ♪

I see all the people on the cliff, like, screaming,

and making signs. [people shouting]

I just turn, and I hear Lucas was there with the ski.

I was, "No way! Come on!

Please, wait, wait for me, wait for me!"

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

[speaking French]

I was questioning myself,

like, why are you putting your body

into this situation?

And, next will be like this or, like,

what's the purpose of that?

[speaking French]

♪ ♪

A lot of huge waves came in that day.

It was humongous.

I swear, it was 100-foot-plus.

Garrett was just, like, super proud of CJ

and super excited and, for the first time,

I think, felt that CJ really wanted it.

So, Garrett was really excited to get him

the wave that he wanted.

CJ was hungry.

He was looking for the biggest wave of the day.

I'm feeling nerves

and the immensity of the situation

and just how much it means for my whole life.

Like, I'm trying to get the ride of a lifetime.

This wave just pops up, and I go, "You want it?"

And he goes, "Yeah."

And I think they both kinda had it in their mind

that this might be the 100-foot wave.

I'm like, "Yeah, okay."

I feel really confident right now to go for this,

and that's cool.

Here he goes.

Oh!

♪ ♪

Ah! Ahh!

Keep an eye out. [radio chatter]

Where is your uncle? Keep an eye out.

- Where are they? - Shit.

[radio chatter]

Alemao went in to look for him,

couldn't see him.

♪ ♪

I'm running inside like crazy.

Near the rocks--he's not really near the rocks.

Where is he?

I don't have eyes on CJ. Does anybody have him?

Where the hell is he?

I could hear Nicole sounding more and more panicked.

Did he have any floatation other than his vest?

And I was thinking, like,

he got hit that hard, but maybe unconscious

and pulled his vest, and you know--

You just--you know-- you just don't even wanna

think about it, you know, like--

Garrett, I don't see him anywhere.

What the fuck?

He's not floating. He's on all that floatation.

He should be floating. So I was, "Oh, God,

did his wet suit get ripped off?"

That would be--

What if we don't find him? Like...

how do you find somebody who's lost at sea?

Oh, my God. Garrett! I don't see him anywhere!

I was watching the whole time. He popped up

after the first wave.

The second wave came, and I never saw him come up

after the second wave.

He's-- We just have to keep looking.

Oh, fuck.

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