Original subtitles

( indistinct chatter over police radio )

( ticking )

( slow, suspenseful theme playing )

( sparking )

( upbeat action theme playing )

( tires squeal )

Yo, Ned, good to see you, bro!

( laughs )

Damn, Roy, I can't believe that you called me.

I can't believe you're not in Tulsa.

I mean, isn't that like jumping bail or something?

Ain't you even glad to see me, boy?

Couldn't imagine what held you up.

Nothing held me up. I held it up.

Have a look in there, boy.

Yahoo!

My God, Ray, what are you doing?

Are you trying to start something up or something?

I ain't startin' nothin' up, Ned. That's the finish.

That's for Pa.

I'm gonna tell you where you can find the rest.

No, Roy. You're in enough trouble as it is.

Okay?

He wouldn't want this from you, anyway.

Well, I want you to give it to him. Don't tell him it's from me.

I gotta get back to Tulsa before they find out I'm gone.

I want you to take that. You find the rest.

Y'all give Star a call this afternoon.

She's waiting to hear on you.

You let her know it's done.

WALKER: Uncle Ray, I really don't have time

to go all the way out to the reservation

and participate in these Indian games.

Washoe, it's important that you make time.

You must keep alive the part of you that is Cherokee.

Then High Hawk's gonna have me race

against his top riders again.

He is anxious to challenge you again,

and it would give you an opportunity to speak.

Remember, he likes to laugh.

Uncle Ray, I'm not gonna tell any of your jokes.

High Hawk likes my jokes.

And he's heard all your jokes.

Well, he hasn't heard this one. You wanna hear it?

Why not? You're gonna tell me anyway.

This tribe worked real hard

to send one of the chief's sons off to college,

on the promise that when he returned,

he'll use his newfound knowledge

for the advancement of his people.

So he got an electrical engineering degree,

and when he returned, one of his first deeds

was to wire electric light for the outhouse,

because the tribe was tripping out there in the dark.

So he-- He became known as one of the first Indians

to wire a head for a reservation.

( laughs )

Get it?

Wire-- Wire a head for a reservation.

Yeah, I get it, Uncle Ray.

I got a million of them.

Well, you boys were sure moving along there, weren't you?

Sorry, pard. Uh, we've been making the run back

from Tulsa all night.

Hasn't been anyone on the road.

After doing 80 all night and no one on the road,

you kinda lose track of speed.

All the way from Tulsa, nonstop?

You got it. Mmm.

Well, you sure made some hellacious mileage.

The tank's still full.

You boys mind stepping out of the car?

( horse whinnies )

Washoe, the horse is okay.

( car engine starts )

UNCLE RAY: Guess they didn't want the ticket.

Wahoo!

All right.

What you go and do that for?

Just kick back, little bro. That Ranger's got nothing to do

but polish the road dust off his badge and wait for a ride.

( horse whinnies )

You're never gonna catch them on horseback.

Won't know unless I try.

( adventurous theme playing )

Now, we gotta make sure we take care of it first.

And then we go to Pa. Roy...

We can't tell him first.

Otherwise, he'll never go for it.

Roy! What?

Grab the money, Ned. Grab it!

Go! Now!

( grunts )

Hyah. Hyah.

WALKER: Come on. Get out of there, kid.

ROY: Ah!

Don't even think of it, now.

( grunts ) Don't do that.

Ooh. Oh!

Sorry I had to do that.

( coughs )

( groans )

( whistles )

( snorts )

Here comes our ride, kid. ( coughs )

( horse neighs )

Hee-hee-hoo!

Hee-hoo!

( giggles )

Get along, little doggie. And me without a camera, man.

Don't even start with me.

See, I never believed them when they said you put pants on

one leg at a time.

Gosh, you're my hero, big guy.

Yeah. Oh!

Whoa. Whoa.

( Trivette laughs )

Oh, man.

Whew.

Look...

you don't mind taking the prisoner in for me, do you?

No. No.

Good. And...

here's his weapon.

Thank you.

( laughs )

A captive audience.

And eight other similar ATM robberies

in the past seven weeks.

You and your brother have taken down close to, what?

Two hundred and fifty grand.

I don't know what you're mouthing about.

I'm a hardworking, law-abiding citizen.

Woo-hoo!

You're smug.

You don't want an attorney or anything?

No, I, could use some doughnuts

to go with this, uh, stale coffee, but...

I don't need a lawyer. I didn't do nothing.

I'll tell you what, though, let's take it to court.

You present your case.

What are you gonna do when they find your fingerprints

all over the ATM that was boosted?

I think we both know

my prints aren't gonna be anywhere at all.

Don't we?

I'll tell you what--

Well, what do we do now, boys?

I think maybe you and I have a little talk...

Texas-style.

Oh, good. That means I'm out of here.

What are you talkin' about?

Where's he going? Where you going?

To get your doughnuts.

You like the ones with the soft center, right?

( door closes )

You don't scare me.

I mean, you guys are Rangers.

You ain't gonna do nothing.

( crashes to the floor )

Did you drop something, Roy, besides yourself?

You don't scare me!

You can't threaten me!

Did you threaten this prisoner, Walker?

You're damn right he did.

How did he threaten you. Mr. Buchanon?

Well, he, uh... Sat down.

Well, the other guy, he left! He--

Went to get his doughnuts.

How long you gonna keep me here?

You're free to go whenever you choose.

Wait a minute.

We can't hold him any longer.

I chased this kid halfway to Houston.

You had no probable cause, Walker.

His gas tank was full?

Please, we'd get laughed right out of the arraignment.

So, uh, this lovely lady's saying I might be on my way.

The DA is saying shove off before your luck turns.

I don't believe this, Alex.

I really don't believe this.

So how'd you do?

Michelle Pfeiffer's got nothing on me.

Ah, he went for it, didn't he?

( Alex giggles )

What are you two up to?

We weren't getting anywhere with the kid, right?

So I came up with a plan.

I'm gonna let Roy lead us to his brother

and then, eventually, the money.

Dare I ask what the plan is?

It's beautiful.

We just follow the bouncing ball.

Follow the bouncing ball?

( beeping )

TRIVETTE: I planted a LoJack on the bumper of his impounded car.

So if we don't get too close and spook him,

he takes us to where X marks the spot.

Huh?

Is that a beautiful plan?

( yips )

Whoa. Where you going?

I'm going to take a look.

No. That's what's so great about the plan.

We're looking at him right here, see?

He can't make a move without us knowing it.

I wanna see him in person.

You're so dang stubborn.

You have no faith in me, Walker!

( guitar theme playing )

He'll be back.

( beeping )

Come on. He's on the move. Let's go.

What are you doing? Come on. Let's go!

Now, look, see.

He's moving south in the parking lot.

He's going--

Oh, get down!

Come on. He's gonna see.

Get down.

Well, guess we move to plan B, then.

Hey! My computer!

( action theme playing )

( horn honks )

That was an expensive piece of equipment.

Didn't work like one.

Do you think that they know we're after them?

I don't think they know we're after them.

Do you think they know? Look, you wanna drive?

Watch it! ( horns honking )

You did that on purpose.

( tire screeches )

Oh, what? You and Trigger could have done better?

Thanks for the lift, Mick.

I think I wasted that damn Universal

out there this morning.

No sweat.

See you at Tully's?

Yeah. If I get a chance.

Hasta, man.

( cartoonish music playing on TV ) ( laughing )

ROY: What the hell's goin' on here?

Who are you?

What the hell you doing in here?

I swear, When he done shoots down that one rabbit hole

and it comes out the other

and gets him in the seat of the pants...

( laughs hysterically )

Oh, lordy.

I can't never get me enough of that

( in cartoonish accent ): Yosemite Sam.

What an actor.

( chuckles )

I think you in the wrong place, partner.

Oh, I'd never smell out the wrong hound's butt, hoss.

You Roy Buchanon, ain't you?

of the Denton Buchanons?

You done upped and run on Eddie Hatcher, boy.

You know you don't skip when Eddie posts your bail.

Look, I was gonna come back.

I just had me something to do, that's all.

Uh, how about I, uh...

How about I get you a beer in here?

( gun clicks )

( menacing theme playing )

You looking for this, hoss?

You know, you should not leave such things lying about,

what with all the violence out there and all.

Come on, partner, we oughta be able to...

work something out.

I mean, you just tell Eddie I--

I just need a couple more days. Ooh!

What you need, boy, is to make old Boo happy

by telling him what he wants to hear.

Now, you can do that, can't you?

Why, shoot.

If a little, old cartoon can make me happy,

you sure can, can't you?

Let's visit.

Come on, Trivette.

I got an address on the Buchanon kid.

Eh? This is disgusting, man.

Look, if there's any ketchup

or anything in this hard drive,

you owe me for it. You hear that?

( engine starts )

( grunts )

Now, why don't you just be a good bugger

and tell me where that money is.

If you ain't got it, you gave it to somebody.

Who? Your little brother, maybe?

Mmm.

Or, maybe, that cute girlie friend of yours.

Oh, yeah. I know about her.

Don't hurt anyone.

( grunts )

Now, you are truly trying my good patience here, boy.

So spit it out, or I'll wail on you some more.

I can keep this up all day. How 'bout you?

TRIVETTE: Let me ask you, what do you have against computers?

( gunshot )

( action theme playing )

Texas Rangers. Drop the gun, now!

MAN: Whoa, now.

Softly. Whoa, now.

Breathe easy, now.

Get up, turn around.

Hands behind your head.

Up against that wall. Move!

Now, let's just take this at a slow trot, now.

The name's Waxwell,

Boone Waxwell.

My paper is in my right hip pocket there.

I got my gun permit in there too.

Everything's nice and legal.

How about in your left boot?

Ooh-hoo.

You got Injun eyes there, Ranger.

And, yes, sir, I got me a license

for that little puppy too.

"Boone Waxwell."

My good buddies call me Boo.

Skip tracer.

Yes, sirree, Bob. You see, right there,

I got me a legit right to that sack o' trash lyin' yonder.

He jumped bail in Tulsa on Eddie Hatcher.

Give him a call. He'll tell it all.

Don't worry, we will.

Then, I got me nothing to fret about.

Doesn't say anything about dead or alive, Waxwell.

Well, I don't get met by the welcome wagon

in my line of work.

It was self-defense, plain and simple.

When people wind up dead, it's never plain or simple.

Why, whatever you hinting at, Ranger?

The kid was left-handed.

He a southpaw?

So why did he try to shoot you with his right hand, Waxwell?

( chuckles ): I was too busy ducking and saving my biscuits

to ask him why he's firing with which hand.

Maybe he's one of them amphibious guys.

Can use either hand.

Ambidextrous.

Yeah.

That's what I meant.

Ambidextrous. I'm gonna write that down.

Well, while you're at it, write this down:

You have the right to remain silent.

If you give up that right, anything you say

can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Oh, what y'all doin' this for?

You have the right to an attorney.

Now, we're all weari'' the same colors.

Do you understand these rights as they have been given to you?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think I do.

ALEX: You're a bounty hunter,

and you work for bail-bondsman Eddie Hatcher.

Seems your story checks out, Mr. Waxwell.

Why, sure, and why wouldn't it, ma'am?

Boone's the name. Boo to my good friends.

Even some who aren't so good.

That still leaves us with one dead kid.

Clutching a gun in the wrong hand.

Like I told your Ranger here, I don't get no written exam,

so I don't likely know which hand he fires with normally,

just what he fired at me with.

Just one of those unlucky breaks.

Not for you.

That's my favorite kind.

Seems to me, a lot of bad luck follows your tail, Waxwell.

You're the busiest skip tracer in five states.

Reputation spreads.

Did you know that out of 25 bounties in the past two years,

you brought in 18 dead.

Is that a fact?

Yeah. Very much a fact. A cold, hard fact.

WAXWELL: Law enforcement's a risky game.

I never thought of it as much of a game, Mr. Waxwell.

Excuse my indelicate choice of words, ma'am, but if you check,

you'll find all those warrants are good.

No problem with any local law in any of the counties I worked.

And I sure hope not to have any here.

I hope not, either.

Then I can go?

You're free.

I need to clean up some.

Still a might shook up,

but with nearly getting killed and all.

Recommend a place to stay?

Yeah, where you came from.

I'd be willing to bet

we're not gonna be friends.

I'd be willing to bet if you don't leave my town,

we're gonna be downright enemies.

( ominous theme playing )

I'm so genuinely sorry to hear that, Walker.

I'm sorry, too, Boo.

Walker.

ALEX: Think you better leave, Mr. Waxwell.

Ma'am.

Walker, I know that guy is slime,

but you can't just run people outta town.

TRIVETTE: What I'm not understanding

is why we would have to.

This guy's m.o. was "tag 'em, bag 'em, and shove off," right?

Then why's he sticking around here?

( action theme playing )

TRIVETTE: Two hundred thirty-two thousand

six hundred and seventy-two dollars

is the exact unrecovered amount from all the ATM robberies.

So if the Buchanon boys pulled all the jobs,

that's the missing stash that Ned's sitting on.

Maybe that's what our old buddy Boo is trying to sniff out.

It's the only thing that would track.

Damn it, the keys are sticking.

Is that spaghetti? Hey.

All right, all the other bounties

that Waxwell's taken down were for really pretty hefty sums.

Let me see, the last three

were for 23, 18 and a half and 46 grand.

So why else would he bother with Roy Buchanon

when the payoff for that bounty was only five grand?

Looks like we better find Ned Buchanon

before Waxwell does

and continues to chop down the family tree.

TRIVETTE: Is there anyone we can call for you, sir,

to come and stay with you?

There's nobody, just me and Ned.

We took care of each other, the two of us.

That's what we done.

You know, Ned made me this here wheelchair.

He scrounged up parts...

and even tooled some himself.

Do you think Ned will come back here?

Ned's not gonna know what to do.

Not what to do.

He's not like Roy.

You can bet that if my Ned's

even the slightest mixed up in this,

it's all because of that no-good brother of his.

Ned, he-- He wouldn't know how to find trouble.

( stirring theme playing )

Roy, he-- He was born to it.

He was too smart, Roy.

That's why he was always on the wrong end of things.

Roy could do anything he set a mind to.

He could've--

He could've helped me hold onto this farm

if he had a mind to.

Not now, though.

Now it's all gone.

It's all gone.

Excuse me, Mr. Buchanon.

Uh, it says here,

"To Roy. Love always, Star"?

That's Roy's girlfriend, Star.

Do you know her last name?

Buckley. Star Buckley.

Ms. Buckley? Ms. Buckley?

Star?

( door closes )

( door lock clicking )

( knocking )

Texas Rangers.

Open up, please.

( door lock clicking )

The girl across the hall--

I didn't see nothin'.

TRIVETTE: Hey.

Looks like the tornado that carried Dorothy

over the rainbow blew through there, pal.

Said I didn't see nothing.

This nothing you didn't see,

was he about 6 foot tall, black cowboy hat

and built like a refrigerator?

But I didn't say nothing, you hear?

I didn't say a thing.

That's for sure.

Did he take her with him?

Uh-uh.

She'd already gone to work.

And I told him.

I told him she was gone.

He just came out and kicked the door in,

and...

I didn't see nothing.

( slow guitar theme playing )

Guess what?

He didn't see nothing.

You got it.

MAN: I told you.

She went to get her dry cleaning.

We're usually not very busy early,

so she takes her time.

WALKER: Is there a problem?

No problem at all.

You were just examining

the texture of his beard, right? ( chuckles )

Did this man assault you?

No, no.

Everything's fine.

What can I do for you guys?

Give me a brewski,

and, uh, sarsaparilla for my friends,

the dynamic duo of Texas Rangers.

What are you doing in Brownie's, Waxwell?

Well, I was driving by, and...

I liked the name.

Why don't you get back in your rig

and keep on driving by?

Oh, now, that pretty, little filly of a DA

never said nothing about Dallas welcoming people like this.

People, Waxwell, not lowlifes.

TRIVETTE: And I'm willing to bet

that you're low enough to walk under a snake's belly

without even knocking your hat off.

WAXWELL: Tell you what.

I think I'm gonna find me a place

with a little warmer atmosphere,

something more fitting to my own cheerful demeanor.

( cash register chimes )

That's a good idear.

♪ The eyes of Texas ♪

♪ Are upon me ♪

MAN: What'd you say, girl?

Hey, Cal,

Cindy.

Ms. Buckley?

Ms. Star Buckley?

We're Rangers, Walker and Trivette.

Uh, we'd like to have a couple words with you.

What's goin' on?

You know a Ned and Roy Buchanon?

I surely do.

Are--? Are they okay? Did something happen?

Well, maybe you better sit down.

W-what?

Tell me.

Roy Buchanon's been killed.

( stirring theme playing )

Here.

Sit down.

Listen,

we gotta locate Ned as soon as possible,

and we were hoping you could help us out.

This is gonna destroy Ned.

They--

They were so close.

So close.

We hate to push you, Star,

but we really need to get ahold of Ned.

You know where we might find him?

I-I don't feel too good.

Can I have a minute? Yeah.

( ominous theme playing )

( Star screams )

Oh!

( cartoonish music playing on TV )

( Waxwell laughing )

Boy,

I can't never get enough of this guy.

Oh, you sure you're not hungry?

I know...

you're scared of me, little girlie.

You got good reason to be.

I-- I don't know what you want from me.

Oh, sure you do.

I wanna know where your boyfriend's little brother's at.

Hmm.

Oh, looky here, now.

Is that your mama?

Mmm.

She's pretty.

Mm-hm.

Oh, well, looky here.

You got yourself a little baby sister.

Sarah.

Sarah.

You know, it's interesting, uh...

the business I'm in.

Finding people.

Mostly, you know, bounty hunti'' is the information business.

Most skip tracers track their jumpers

by credit card reports,

TRWs...

electronic bugging devices and such, but not me.

Uh-uh. No, ma'am.

I'm a people person.

( ominous theme playing )

I work people.

Please...

Please don't hurt me.

Oh, now, I'm gonna have to hurt you

just a little bit.

In case you get a mind for the cutes

and lie to me.

That way, you see, you know I'll come back

and I'll give you some more.

And if you whisper to anybody

that this was anything more than a dinner invitation,

I'll go and find your mama.

And I'll hurt her.

Hmm?

Or, maybe, little Sarah.

Hmm?

So you tell me, twinkle, twinkle, little Star...

did I abduct you?

Did I force you into my car?

Now...

let's talk about Ned boy.

Mm-hm.

So he became the first Indian

to wire a head for a reservation.

( all laugh )

Uh, yes, sir.

We have an APB out on Waxwell's truck.

So far, there's no sign of the girl

or the Buchanon kid.

MAN ( on telephone ): Did you know that Alex called?

What'd she want?

She didn't say.

She just said she's at County General.

All right. I'm on my way over there.

Cordell!

( laughs )

Wire a head...

for a reservation.

Wire ahead for a reservation.

He's gonna give me a heart attack.

That's the funniest man I ever saw in my life.

Yeah, he's just a barrel of laughs.

Get him to tell you the one about

the traveling canoe salesman.

C.D.,

if Trivette calls,

tell him I went to see Alex at County Hospital.

( all laughing )

C.D., did you hear me?

Yeah, okay, yeah. Jimmy. Yeah, I got it.

He could make it as a stand-up comic.

Who?

Your Uncle Ray.

I'm thinking about featuring him Friday night

before Delbert comes on.

Listen, you've got to hear

this traveling canoe salesman joke.

These two Indian women are trying to cross the river...

Traveling canoe salesman.

ALEX: I thought it was another assault.

When I got here and got an I.D.,

I called dispatch to find you.

Ms. Buckley,

what has happened to you is a terrible,

terrible thing,

and the person who did this to you should be punished,

but we can't do that without your help.

Please.

C-could you just go away?

I-- I just want you to go away.

I know who did this to you, Star.

It was Boone Waxwell.

I didn't say that,

I didn't tell you nothing of the sort.

I know he's the one that did it,

and you're not the first one he's done it to.

Then why's he still out there doing it?

Not that I'm saying he done anything to me.

But why don't you arrest him?

Because there are never any witnesses.

Like yourself,

nobody's gonna testify against him.

WALKER: Waxwell operates on fear.

He counts on that to keep people from talking,

and if we don't stop him, he's gonna get Ned.

And believe me, you don't want that to happen.

What I want is for y'all to go away...

now.

I just wanna be left alone.

Where's my doctor?

Can I have my doctor?

I'm in pain.

Doesn't anyone care that I've been hurt?

Sure, we do.

We just don't want anyone else to get hurt.

Nurses' station.

What kind of animal does this to people?

The kind that crawl on their bellies. Snakes.

Waxwell's the meanest of them all.

Ranger Walker.

Thank you.

Doesn't somebody need their medication or something?

What did I do?

Walker.

TRIVETTE: Yeah, it's Trivette.

I spotted Waxwell's car.

Can you get out here?

All right. I'll pick you right up.

That was Trivette.

He spotted Waxwell's car.

He's still in town?

Yeah, and he's not even trying to hide.

( people chattering indistinctly)

WAXWELL: Do us a favor, partner,

and find yourself another phone, eh?

There are no other phones.

Besides, this is a public phone.

All right, look. I know you can't tell

by looking at my natural, good-natured appearance,

but I'm tellin' you, I'm out of good temper today.

So unless you're gonna use that phone

to call an ambulance, I'd skedaddle, okay?

You like that? All right!

Get out of here.

Thank you for your cooperation.

( rings )

Hello. Brownie's.

Uh... Uh, let me speak to Star.

Uh, well, you know, we're packed in here right now,

and she's moving like a cat with her tail afire.

Could you just, uh...?

Could you tell her it's Ned?

Ned? Mm-hm.

Well, I'll tell her, but--

Hang on.

♪ La-dee-da, la-dee-da Dee-dee-da ♪

♪ Ned's calling La-da-da-dee-dee-da ♪

♪ Da-doo-doo-doo ♪

"Ned," did you say?

Yeah. Where--? Where's Star?

I'm sorry, boy, but old man Pickens has got his eye on her,

and he said there's no way

she can come to the phone right now.

Well, she says leave a message, or-- Or call back tomorrow.

Tomorrow's no good.

I can't-- I can't do it tomorrow.

Uh, listen, c-could you--?

Could you tell her, um...?

Uh...?

Denton.

Third and Main at 9 a.m.?

Okay.

Gotcha.

Well, howdy-do there, Mr. Texas Ranger, sir?

I just came from the hospital, Waxwell.

I got a look at some of your recent handiwork.

Well, I don't know whatever it is you're talking about, Walker.

Don't worry, you're doing real good at scaring little girls.

It seems Star was too afraid to ID you.

ID me?

For what? You really do talk in riddles, Trivette.

I'm a poor, simple country boy.

You gonna have to spell it out for me.

We know why you're here, Waxwell.

TRIVETTE: You want Ned Buchanon,

and you want that quarter of a million dollars

his brother stole.

So while you're in our burg,

I'm gonna be all over you like a wet burnoose.

That's harassment. That's what that's called.

Call it whatever you want.

Because you're not going

anywhere near that kid without an audience, Waxwell.

( scoffs ) Well, Jes--

Why, heck, I don't know what this is all about.

You know, I wouldn't even mind

a little police protection, what with what's going on

out in those streets in this day and age.

I'll tell you what.

I'm gonna save you some time.

I'll give you my itinerary.

Itinerary.

I-tin-er-ar-y.

Well, that's pretty near damn near

as good a word as old "ambidextrous," isn't that, Trivette?

Don't you think?

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

First, I wanna get out of here,

and find me a place with some real local color

and get me a real drink.

Then I'm gonna rustle me up

one of them delicious three-inch steaks from Texas

I'm hearing so much about.

And then, I'm gonna wander off

to one of them gentlemen's naked bars.

So you boys better get some 20's

to give them dancy girlies for tips.

And I'll see you at the next watering hole.

( clicks tongue )

( slow guitar theme playing )

Burnoose?

( rock music playing over speaker )

( chattering )

( men shouting )

WOMAN: I'm gonna give my all.

MAN: Hey, what's up?

MAN 2: All right. Pretty good.

That's your hog over there, right?

WOMAN: I don't have to answer...

TRIVETTE: Walker, come in.

Walker. I just followed

this bozo to a place called the Wrecking Bar.

I'm think I'm gonna go in.

I know that place.

Don't go in until I get there, Trivette.

I'm on my way.

( men shouting indistinctly )

( rock music playing over jukebox )

Can I get a beer, please?

MAN: Hey, get out of the bar.

( jeering )

Howdy-do, boys?

Howdy-do? What's up?

What you doing here?

I'm just wondering if you boys

might not like to do me a little favor.

Why don't I ever listen to him?

There some kind of a problem?

Oh. Guess so.

I don't suppose it would do any good

to tell you boys I'm a Texas Ranger.

Yeah, and I'm Davy Crockett. ( laughs )

Welcome to the Alamo.

Excuse me, guys.

♪ I apolo-golo-gize ♪

♪ You know I put My bike on the line... ♪

You never listen to me.

Hey, I have this under control.

Let me ask you something.

Have you ever seen so many specimens

so low on the food chain?

I hope you're good at making friends.

Hey, I'm a regular social butterfly, man.

( grunts )

Karate, huh?

Walk... ( screaming )

( yells indistinctly )

Walker!

All right, where'd he go now?

I don't know.

But I know Star knows something.

I'm going back to the hospital.

We gotta find that kid first.

WOMAN ( over PA ): Dr. Wickland, please call 2468. Dr. Wickland...

Ned?

Did you find Ned?

Is--? Is he okay?

Is he...?

Dead? No.

But I can't help him unless you help me.

I-- I told you, I don't know anything. I don't.

I know you told something to Waxwell.

I know you did.

Now, I went out to see Ned's pa yesterday.

I told him about Roy.

He's really worried about Ned.

Ned, yeah.

Ned, Ned, Ned.

That's all it ever was for their daddy.

Like Roy didn't exist.

But it was Roy who saw how much

the farm meant to their dad,

how those bankers with their suits and computers

was killing him.

The farm?

What are you talking about?

Don't you see? Don't you get it?

That's why Roy was robbing all them banks.

To stop the foreclosure on the farm.

All he ever hit was Southern Star Bank branches.

He was gonna pay them back with their own money

for what they done to his dad.

None of it was for Roy. None of it.

I know you're afraid of Boone Waxwell,

but he killed Roy Buchanon for the money,

and he won't blink an eye to kill Ned.

I've got to find Ned.

I swear, I swear, I don't know where he is.

Roy told me

Ned was gonna call me at Brownie's

today at 2:30.

That's all I know, okay? That's it.

That's what I told Waxwell.

( sighs )

Ranger Walker...

( weepily ): Don't let nothing happen to Ned.

Roy wouldn't have wanted anything to happen to him

on account of something Roy might have done.

I'll do my best, Star.

Ten hours and ten pots of caffeine later, man,

we're still sucking air.

There's no pattern to those robberies,

except they're all Southern Star banks.

That's it.

Well, we know that Waxwell believes

he's close to finding Ned.

Otherwise, he wouldn't have pulled that stunt yesterday.

It must've been Ned he was talking to

when we found him at Brownie's.

Which still leaves us sucking air again, right?

( sighs )

I don't even know if Ned's gonna pull another robbery

now that his brother's dead.

Do you think he would?

Maybe he doesn't have to.

Punch up that computer of yours,

and see what it says about the mortgage

on the, uh, Buchanon farm.

I want you to know I'm holding you responsible

for the pickle chip I found in this circuit board.

( typing )

Okay. The balloon payment's 226,580,

so with the last robbery, they have enough.

( typing )

Hey, baby.

That sucker's due today.

WOMAN: I like him too. WOMAN 2: I do too.

( whistle )

WAXWELL: Hey, Ned boy,

your lady friend sends...regrets.

Ho!

Kill that idea, hoss,

or I'll kill it for you.

Come on over here. Come on.

( ominous theme playing )

Now, in case you're thinking,

"I can run faster than he can draw,"

you can't.

I'll take that for you, howdy-do.

Come on.

Now, how'd you like to test-drive

this fine, black American-built piece of machinery?

I thought you might. Hop in.

( ominous theme swells dramatically )

Drop the gun, Waxwell. You first.

Don't be stupid. Where you gonna go, huh?

I'm not going to no Texas hoosegow!

I'll kill this kid!

Drop them guns!

Drop them, or I'll kill him, I tell you!

Stand up!

Freeze!

( grunts )

Uh-uh! Back up!

Walker? Where is he?

Where's Walker? ( crowd chattering )

Walker?

Where is he?

I'll kill this kid, I tell you!

( grunts )

All right.

All right. All right.

Put your hands behind your back.

How's the guard?

Well, a lot better than Waxwell, I think.

Can you get up? Yeah.

( crowd chattering )

Come on.

♪ Right now ♪

♪ Everybody loves a good... ♪

He had you.

He had you for a minute

when he had you in that bear hug.

Not even for a second.

Not even for a second?

Not even for a second. He did.

Your headlights were dimming.

They were not. They were too.

Were not. Were too.

Were not. Were--

Ranger Walker,

Trivette...

Oh, heh, hi, Star.

Hi, Mr. Buchanon. How are you?

Fine. Just mighty fine now.

Thanks to you, ma'am.

Oh, my pleasure.

Ned really wasn't part of the initial robberies.

The bank dropped all charges.

He's gonna be released tomorrow.

Do you know that three--

Count 'em, three.

--of them TV networks called up to buy his story?

Heh, right there they were while he's in his cell, and--

And they're fighting each other to write checks.

It's almost enough to pay off the mortgage.

That's what Ned's been hondling with them over.

The most important thing is,

you gotta get Wesley Snipes to play me.

You know, Trivette,

you're a lot better-looking than Wesley Snipes.

A lot better-looking.

You're right.

( laughs ) C.D.: Ladies and gentlemen,

let me have your attention, please.

For the first time to be performed in our establishment

and the first time performed off the reservation,

I give you Uncle Dice Ray.

Let's hear it for Ray.

All right.

Well, so this Indian pulls up to a stoplight

driving a big, long, brand-new Cadillac,

and this Texas billionaire pulls up right beside him,

driving his big, long Cadillac.

And he looks over there,

sees that Indian behind the wheel, and he says,

"Say, chief,

what's an Indian doing driving a big, long Cadillac like that?"

He says, "Well, pilgrim,

"Sitting Bull didn't ride around

on some old plug."

( crowd laughs, applauds )

( slow guitar theme playing )

Oh.

( upbeat theme playing )