Original subtitles

(theme music playing)

♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪

♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪

♪ WHERE THE KISSES ARE HERS AND HERS AND HIS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪

♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪

- ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪ - ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪

♪ WE'VE A LOVABLE SPACE THAT NEEDS YOUR FACE ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ YOU'LL SEE THAT LIFE IS A BALL AGAIN ♪

♪ LAUGHTER IS CALLING FOR YOU ♪

- ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪ - ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO. ♪

OH COME ON!

CHRISSY! JANET!

(groans)

(doorbell ringing)

HELP! MY NOSE IS CAUGHT!

JANET!

- AAH! - HI, JACK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

MY NOSE IS CAUGHT IN THE DOORBELL. COME ON!

JANET, COME HERE! LOOK AT JACK.

- THIS IS REALLY FUNNY. - YEAH, IT'S REALLY FUNNY.

(laughs)

- JUST PLEASE GET THIS OUT. - YES, OKAY, ALRIGHT.

OW!

WILL SOMEBODY GIVE ME A HAND HERE? THESE BOTTLES ARE HEAVY.

I ALWAYS SAID YOU COULDN'T HOLD YOUR LIQUOR, JACK.

- HERE. - OKAY.

MY ARMS HAVE GROWN SIX INCHES!

IT'S BETTER THAN IF THEY GREW A FOOT!

JACK, LISTEN, IS THIS ALL THE STUFF THAT YOU GOT?

- THERE'S MORE DOWNSTAIRS. I'LL GO GET IT. - WHATEVER YOU DO,

DON'T LET MR. ROPER SEE YOU. YOU KNOW HOW HE FEELS ABOUT PARTIES.

DON'T WORRY, JANET. I LEARNED CAMOUFLAGE

AND STALKING WHEN I WAS A BOY SCOUT.

DID YOU GET ANY MERIT BADGES?

NO, BUT I GOT A COUPLE OF CAMPFIRE GIRLS.

DON'T WORRY, IT'S AN OLD BOY SCOUT TRICK IT CONFUSES THE ENEMY.

(squeaky voice) THANK YOU!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO ALL THIS TROUBLE FOR.

MR. ROPER IS BOUND TO FIND OUT WE'RE HAVING A PARTY.

I KNOW, CHRISSY, BUT HE WON'T FIND OUT UNTIL TONIGHT,

AND THEN IT'LL BE TOO LATE FOR HIM TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

- YEAH, BUT I FEEL SO GUILTY. - CHRISSY, WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG.

- WE'RE ONLY HAVING A PARTY. - YEAH...

IT'S THE FIRST ONE WE'VE HAD IN OVER A YEAR.

- THAT'S TRUE. - YEAH.

OUR FRIENDS HAVE BEEN ASKING US TO PARTIES ALL YEAR LONG, RIGHT?

AND IF WE DON'T INVITE THEM TO AT LEAST ONE PARTY,

THEN WE'LL BE LUCKY IF WE HAVE ANY FRIENDS LEFT.

- YOU THINK SO? - SURE.

OUR SOCIAL LIFE WOULD JUST DWINDLE RIGHT DOWN TO NOTHING.

- THAT'S TRUE. - WE'D BE LIVING LIKE NUNS.

WOULD THAT MAKE JACK A MONK?

- HI, JACK. - HI! HI! HI!

- HI, MR. ROPER. - BEEN SHOPPING?

NO, JUST GETTING A COUPLE OF SNACKS.

- A LOT OF WINE THERE. - WELL...

THAT'S ENOUGH FOR A WHOLE PARTY.

A PARTY? OH NO, NO, NO.

IT'S JUST SOME COOKING WINE.

WHAT ARE YOU COOKING, AN ELEPHANT?

(laughs) YOU'RE SO FUNNY! AN ELEPHANT!

- ACTUALLY... - LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND WITH THAT.

- OH NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO. - NO, GO AHEAD, JACK.

- YOU DON'T... - IT'S OKAY.

DO WE HAVE ANY OF THOSE...

WHAT DO YOU CALL THEM, THOSE BACON-FLAVORED THINGS?

PIGS?

Jack: MR. ROPER, YOU DON'T HAVE TO COME INTO THE KITCHEN.

- NO, THANKS. - IT'S ROPER.

- ROPER? CHRISSY, HIDE THE FOOD! - OKAY.

- HI! - HI, THERE!

- WHAT'S ALL THIS? - OH, IT'S FOOD.

I KNOW IT'S FOOD,

- BUT FOR WHAT? - FOR EATING.

BUT IT'S NOT JUST FOR YOU.

OH YES, IT IS! SEE?

YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?

PERISH THE THOUGHT!

- ARE YOU HAVING A PARTY? - A PARTY?!

- NOT US. - Janet: YES.

OH YES, YES...

YES, OF COURSE, WE'RE HAVING A PARTY.

WHY, IT'S THE ONE WE INVITED YOU TO.

- NOBODY INVITED ME. - (gasps)

DID YOU FORGET TO CALL?

ME?

OH NO, I DIDN'T FORGET TO CALL,

'CAUSE JACK WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL. DID YOU FORGET TO CALL?

YOU KIDS AREN'T FOOLING ME FOR A MINUTE.

NO... WHAT... MR. ROPER, I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL.

IN FACT, LOOK, IF YOU HURRY DOWNSTAIRS,

YOU'LL BE JUST IN TIME TO ANSWER YOUR PHONE.

HOLD IT. HOLD IT.

I'M GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT I TOLD YOU AFTER THE LAST PARTY.

- NO MORE PARTIES! - MR. ROPER,

I KNOW OUR LAST PARTY WAS A LITTLE NOISY...

A LITTLE NOISY?

IT WAS A RIOT! IT WOKE ME UP.

YOU KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO WAKE ME UP? JUST ASK MRS. ROPER.

NO, NO, NO, YOU BETTER NOT.

ANYWAY, NO MORE PARTIES!

- BUT MR. ROPER... - NO!

THAT'S AN ORDER FROM YOUR LANDLORD!

WHAT DO WE DO?

I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO APPEAL TO A HIGHER COURT.

- MRS. ROPER? - EXACTLY.

NOW WE HAVE TO DECIDE WHICH ONE OF US IS GOING TO DO IT.

- OKAY. - YOU OR CHRISSY.

DUMB KIDS.

Bird: DUMB KIDS. DUMB KIDS.

YOU'RE A GOOD BIRD.

YOU'RE A SMART BIRD TOO.

WE DON'T LIKE NOISY PARTIES, DO WE?

MAKES OUR FEATHERS FALL OUT.

PLAY WITH YOUR LITTLE TOY-TOY.

COME ON.

SAY IT... "STANLEY, STANLEY." COME ON.

- "STANLEY." - (knock on door)

EXCUSE ME.

OH, IT'S YOU.

LISTEN, IF YOU CAME DOWN TO TRY AND GET ME TO CHANGE MY MIND,

- YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME. - I DIDN'T.

I CAME HERE TO TALK TO MRS. ROPER.

OH. COME ON IN.

WAIT A MINUTE. I'M ON TO YOUR LITTLE GAME.

IT'S NOT GOING TO DO YOU ANY GOOD. NO PARTIES!

WELL, CAN I JUST TALK TO HER FOR A MINUTE?

I SAID IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD. THERE'S ONLY ONE BOSS AROUND HERE.

IT'S NOT NICE TO TALK ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK.

HI, CHRISSY. WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?

WELL, MRS. ROPER, WE'RE HAVING A PARTY TONIGHT,

- AND WE'D LIKE TO INVITE YOU. - OH, HOW NICE!

WAIT A MINUTE. THAT'S NOT FAIR.

- I ALREADY TOLD THEM THEY COULDN'T HAVE A PARTY. - IS THAT YOUR FINAL WORD?

- YEAH. - GOOD.

THEN WE WON'T HAVE TO HEAR ANY MORE FROM YOU.

I'D LOVE TO COME, CHRISSY.

- OH GOOD. - AND THANKS FOR THE INVITATION.

YOU'RE WELCOME. BYE, MR. ROPER.

- HELEN, YOU'RE GOING AGAINST MY WISHES. - DON'T BE SILLY, STANLEY.

- IT'S JUST A LITTLE PARTY. - AND OUR WEDDING SERVICE SAID,

"LOVE, HONOR AND OBEY." IT DIDN'T SAY, "LOVE, HONOR

AND MAKE STANLEY LOOK LIKE A JERK"!

THAT'S BECAUSE GOD HAD ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF THAT PART.

YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK FOOLISH IN FRONT OF THE KIDS.

NOW THEY'RE GONNA BE UPSTAIRS LAUGHING AT ME.

AND AT 8:00, I'LL JOIN THEM!

NO, YOU WON'T.

YOU'LL BE DOWNSTAIRS, IN THE BEDROOM WITH ME!

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE WHERE I LAUGH?

(disco music plays)

- (music stops) - IT'S AFTER 10:00.

- WHERE IS EVERYBODY? - IT'S AN OMEN!

IF YOU GIVE A PARTY AND NOBODY SHOWS UP,

IT MEANS BAD LUCK IS COMING YOUR WAY.

NO, CHRISSY, COME ON. THAT'S AN OLD WIFE'S TALE.

IT IS NOT! I HEARD IT FROM JOAN FRASIER,

AND SHE'S ONLY 24!

LISTEN, I HAVE AN IDEA, OKAY? READY?

WHY DON'T WE JUST START THE PARTY WITHOUT THEM?

- LET'S DO THAT! - GOOD IDEA!

COME ON, EVERYBODY, LET'S EAT!

YOU KNOW, I REALLY BELIEVE THAT ANY MINUTE

ALL OF OUR FRIENDS ARE JUST GONNA COME BARGING RIGHT THROUGH THAT DOOR!

OR MAYBE NOT.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING. THEY ALL SAID THEY'D COME!

- WAIT A SECOND. HERE'S A CAR! - Janet: THERE IS?

- IT'S MARGO AND TOM! - (cheers)

YEAH, BUT THEY'RE ALWAYS THE LAST ONES TO COME.

THIS TIME THEY'RE THE FIRST ONES. MAYBE IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY!

(plays music)

OKAY, MRS. ROPER, LET'S SHOW THEM WE'RE GONNA HAVE A SWINGING TIME!

- OH, WHY NOT? - GETTING DOWN!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT DO WE NEED WITH OTHER PEOPLE?

JACK! HEY, JACK, THEY'RE GETTING BACK IN THEIR CAR!

- ARE YOU KIDDING? - NO.

MARGO! TOM!

CHRISSY, WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?

MAYBE THEY DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE LATE ENOUGH.

WELL...

THIS IS SURE A LOT DIFFERENT THAN THE LAST PARTY WE THREW.

- YEAH, EVERYBODY CAME EARLY. - YEAH.

GOSH, THERE MUST HAVE BEEN 75 PEOPLE HERE.

- REMEMBER THE BED COLLAPSED? - REALLY?

- ALL THOSE COATS. - OH YEAH.

HI!

WHAT'S THE MATTER? COULDN'T YOU CATCH THEM?

NO, I CAUGHT THIS INSTEAD. THIS WAS STUCK TO THE STAIRCASE DOWNSTAIRS.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! LET ME SEE THAT.

THAT'S STANLEY'S HANDWRITING.

(gasps) OH NO!

THIS TIME, HE'S GONE TOO FAR!

- WHAT IS IT, JACK? - WHAT DOES IT SAY?

"SORRY, FOLKS, PARTY CANCELLED.

- HAD TO LEAVE TOWN." - AW...

- THAT... - GO AHEAD, CHRISSY, SAY IT FOR ALL OF US!

THAT... ROPER!

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ME, YOU KNOW?

YOU TRIED TO PRETEND YOU WERE LEAVING ME ONCE BEFORE,

BUT YOU COULDN'T DO IT. REMEMBER?

IT WAS JUST A BLUFF.

I KNOW WHAT IT IS. YOU'RE UPSET, AREN'T YOU?

I CAN ALWAYS TELL. IT'S THE ONLY TIME YOU STOP TALKING.

YOU TOAD!

WELL, THAT'S BETTER. NOW WE'RE COMMUNICATING.

ALL THIS JUST BECAUSE I STOPPED THE PARTY?

THIS IS JUST THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK, STANLEY!

NOW I'VE GOT TO GET AWAY FROM YOU.

I'M GOING TO GO AND STAY WITH MY SISTER.

HELEN, YOU'RE JUST BEING SILLY.

HELEN?

HOW FAR ARE YOU GOING TO CARRY THIS BLUFF?

OH, COME ON, JACK. GIVE IT UP.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET ANYBODY TO COME BACK HERE FOR A PARTY NOW.

YEAH, I'M ALREADY HERE AND I DON'T WANT TO COME.

DON'T WORRY. THIS IS BETTY. BETTY'S CRAZY ABOUT ME.

SHE'LL CALL A COUPLE A GIRLFRIENDS, THEY'LL CALL A COUPLE OF FELLAS...

HELLO, BETTY? JACK TRIPPER HERE.

HI. NO, WE'RE HOME.

SOME PRACTICAL JOKER PUT UP THAT SIGN.

THE PARTY'S STILL ON!

SO HOW ABOUT COMING OVER HERE RIGHT NOW?

YOU'RE UNDRESSED AND IN BED?

WELL, HOW ABOUT ME COMING OVER THERE RIGHT NOW?

HELLO, BETTY? BETTY?

(screams)

OH BOY.

- (knock on door) - Mr. Roper: OPEN UP!

- IT'S ROPER! - OH THAT FINK!

- Janet: DON'T LET HIM IN! - OF COURSE I'LL LET HIM IN,

THEN I'M GONNA LET HIM HAVE IT!

Both: I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?!

- YOU SPOILED OUR PARTY! - MY WIFE LEFT ME!

ALL OF OUR FRIENDS... WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID MY WIFE LEFT ME, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

- OUR FAULT? - YEAH, FILLING HER HEAD WITH THOSE CRAZY IDEAS.

- WE DIDN'T DO ANY SUCH THING. - Mr. Roper: YOU MUST HAVE.

WHY WOULD SHE LEAVE A MAN LIKE ME IF SHE WASN'T CRAZY?

YOU'RE UPSET NOW. YOU'RE SAYING THINGS YOU DON'T MEAN.

LET HER STAY AWAY. IT'LL BE A VACATION FOR ME.

COME ON, YOU DON'T MEAN THAT.

WHY IS EVERYBODY TELLING ME WHAT I DON'T MEAN?!

I KNOW WHAT I MEAN. AND WHAT I MEAN IS,

I LIKE BEING ALONE.

I CAN DO WHAT I FEEL LIKE, WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT,

WHERE I FEEL LIKE IT, AND HOW I FEEL LIKE IT!

I FEEL HUNGRY.

WHAT?

HELEN DIDN'T MAKE ME DINNER BEFORE SHE LEFT.

- WELL... - THANKS.

YOU GOT A LITTLE WINE TO GO WITH THIS?

I FINISHED ANSWERING MRS. ROPER'S LETTER.

DID SHE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT WHEN SHE'S COMING BACK?

UH-HUH. WHEN PIGS GROW WINGS.

THAT COULD TAKE WEEKS.

YEAH, WELL I HOPE NOT. I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF ROPER.

- HE'S UP HERE ALL THE TIME. - I KNOW, I KNOW.

- I'M GONNA GO MAIL MY LETTER. - OH, JANET, WAIT A SECOND.

WAIT. LISTEN... IF YOU RUN INTO ROPER,

DON'T INVITE HIM UP HERE. HE'S NOT MOOCHING ANY MORE MEALS OFF OF US.

JACK, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO INVITED HIM UP HERE LAST TIME.

WHAT ELSE COULD I DO?

HE WAS STANDING WITH A KNIFE AND A FORK

STICKING OUT OF HIS SHIRT POCKET!

Roper: ANYBODY HOME?

CHRISSY, GET UNDER THE COUCH.

- HEY... - GET RID OF HIM!

DID SOMEBODY SAY "COME IN"?

- I'M GOING TO MAIL A LETTER. - WELL, GOOD GOOD.

IS HE GONE YET?

NO.

OH, HI, MR. ROPER! GET DOWN, CHRISSY!

KEEP LOOKING.

IT MIGHT HAVE ROLLED UNDER THE COUCH.

I LOST A SOCK.

- YOU THINK IT ROLLED AWAY? - IT WAS IN A BALL...

IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO FOR YOU?

- I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE SOME COMPANY. - OH NO, THANKS.

THAT'S NICE OF YOU, BUT WE'RE VERY BUSY. KEEP LOOKING!

BOY, THAT SMELLS GOOD.

THANK YOU. IT'S JUST A LITTLE DINNER.

IT'S JUST BARELY ENOUGH FOR THE THREE OF US.

I WASN'T HINTING FOR YOU TO GIVE ME SOMETHING TO EAT.

I HAVE PLENTY TO EAT DOWNSTAIRS.

I'VE GOT PEANUT BUTTER AND BREAD, AND...

AND A KNIFE.

WELL, THAT'S GOOD.

THAT SMELLS GOOD.

SO DO YOU. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

- I THINK I'LL GO. - SO SOON?

YEAH... I GOT TO GO.

OKAY.

MR. ROPER'S STARTING A NEW TAKE-OUT BUSINESS.

- WHAT? - I'VE HEARD OF CHICKEN IN A BUCKET,

BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN CHICKEN IN A POCKET!

WHAT?

- DID YOU GET THE LETTER OFF ALL RIGHT? - YEAH.

IT WAS REAL EASY.

I STUCK IT IN THE SLOT, OPENED MY FINGERS, AND IT FELL RIGHT DOWN.

CAN I TALK TO YOU PRIVATELY?

OH WELL, MR. ROPER, I GOT TO GET UP...

PLEASE?

OH... SURE. WHY NOT?

OH.

HERE. SIT DOWN. THE PLACE IS A MESS, ISN'T IT?

IT'S NOT SO BAD.

HELEN REALLY USED TO KEEP IT NEAT.

- I'LL SAY THAT FOR HER. - AW...

- YOU MISS HER, DON'T YOU? - ME?

NAH. NOT AT ALL.

- YOU DON'T? - NO.

- BUT HE MISSES HER. - (bird cackles)

I HEAR HIM AT NIGHT, LYING AWAKE,

TOSSING AND TURNING, MISSING HER.

HE LIKES HER, HUH?

NOW THAT SHE'S GONE,

HE REALIZES HOW MUCH HE LIKES HER.

HOW ABOUT A TELEPHONE CALL ASKING HER TO COME BACK?

I DON'T LET HIM USE THE PHONE.

WELL, YOU COULD CALL HER FOR HIS SAKE.

JANET, TELL ME SOMETHING.

IF YOU WERE HELEN,

- WOULD YOU COME BACK TO ME? - NO.

WELL, I MEAN, NO, NOT THE WAY YOU'RE LOOKING NOW.

BUT IF YOU COMBED YOUR HAIR,

AND YOU GOT ALL DRESSED UP...

- THEN YOU'D COME BACK? - I WOULDN'T.

BUT SHE MIGHT. SURE, SHE MIGHT.

(bird whistles)

I LOOK GOOD, HUH?

I'M GOING TO GO BRING HELEN BACK.

I'M GOING TO GO TO HER SISTER'S.

SHE'S GOING TO COME OUT AND SAY,

"OH STANLEY!"

AND I'M GOING TO SAY, "HELEN...

I LOVE YOU."

YEAH, WHAT THE HELL! HELEN, I LOVE YOU!

I'M GOING TO GO TO THE DOOR...

AND I'M GOING TO SAY...

- "YOU'RE COMING WITH ME, WOMAN!" - I BEG YOUR PARDON?

OH I'M SORRY.

- YOU'RE MRS... FROM THE PET SHOP. - YES, MRS. HOLLINS.

OH, COME IN.

- I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU WITH YOUR CLOTHES ON. - MR. ROPER!

I MEAN, I USUALLY SEE YOU WITH THAT SMOCK.

YOU LEFT THIS BEHIND AT THE SHOP.

- IT'S THE VITAMINS FOR YOUR PARAKEET. - OH. THANK YOU.

- HOW'S YOUR PARAKEET DOING? - NOT TOO GOOD.

I'M LONELY... I MEAN...

- HE'S LONELY. - AW...

CAN I HAVE A LOOK AT THE POOR LITTLE THING?

SURE. SURE.

I'M JUST... I WAS JUST SO HAPPY WHEN YOU CALLED ME.

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

- HE REALLY MISSES ME? - OH, MRS. ROPER,

AT NIGHT WE HEAR THESE GURGLING SOBS COMING FROM DOWNSTAIRS.

THAT'S THE TOILET.

NO, THAT'S MR. ROPER.

- HE'S NOT THE MAN HE USED TO BE. - HE NEVER WAS.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS, HE MISSED YOU.

MAYBE I HAVE BEEN A LITTLE HASTY.

SHOULD I GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE?

- IS HE WORTH IT? - OF COURSE!

NO, HE'S NOT.

BUT HE'S MINE.

- HELEN. - STANLEY...

STANLEY, DON'T SAY A WORD NOW.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING. JUST LISTEN.

NOW... IF TWO PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER,

DOES IT MATTER WHETHER THEY LIKE EACH OTHER?

I MEAN, ALL THE TIME.

ISN'T THAT WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT?

HERE WE ARE! NOTHING LIKE SOME VITAMINS

- TO PEP A FELLOW UP! - OH.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD COMPANY.

- HELEN, I CAN EXPLAIN. - I'M MRS. HOLLINS.

I JUST CAME OVER TO SEE HIS LITTLE FRIEND.

OH. (laughs)

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. YOU'D BETTER GO.

I CAN STRAIGHTEN OUT THIS WHOLE MESS, SOMEHOW.

- NICE MEETING YOU. - LIKEWISE.

BYE!

BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR TEMPER, YOU GOT TO BELIEVE ME.

- NOTHING HAPPENED! - I KNOW.

YOU DON'T KNOW. I'M A MAN!

I'M CAPABLE.

GIVEN TIME...

YOU CAUGHT ME WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.

YOU SHOULD BE SHOCKED AND UPSET.

OKAY, SO I'M SHOCKED AND UPSET.

THAT'S BETTER.

COME ON, STANLEY, I DIDN'T COME BACK HOME

TO FIGHT WITH YOU. I CAME BACK TO...

TO FORGIVE AND FORGET.

THANK YOU.

I'M GLAD YOU CAME BACK.

THANK YOU, STANLEY.

AND NOW COMES THE BEST PART OF THE FIGHT.

WHAT'S THAT?

MAKING UP.

COME ON, LOVER.

I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH.

THESE PAST FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN FANTASTIC!

STANLEY HAS BEEN SO ATTENTIVE

AND SO LOVING AND SO ROMANTIC!

I FEEL LIKE A BRIDE ON HER HONEYMOON!

- MRS. ROPER, THAT'S WONDERFUL. - YEAH, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.

OH, HEY, I GOT HIM TO LET YOU GIVE YOUR PARTY!

- YOU DID? - THAT'S FANTASTIC!

- HOW DID YOU PERSUADE HIM TO DO THAT? - OH, JUST A LITTLE BRIBERY.

- WHAT DID YOU GIVE HIM? - A NIGHT OFF.

(theme music playing)

Ritter's voice: "THREE'S COMPANY" WAS VIDEOTAPED

IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.