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1
00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:04,403
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,523
♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪
3
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,625
♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪
4
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,627
♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪
5
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,295
♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪
6
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:21,931
♪ WHERE THE KISSES ARE
HERS AND HERS AND HIS ♪
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00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,200
♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪
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00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:26,202
♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪
9
00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:28,204
♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪
10
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:31,040
- ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪
- ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪
11
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:34,143
♪ WE'VE A LOVABLE SPACE
THAT NEEDS YOUR FACE ♪
12
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:37,046
♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪
13
00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:39,916
♪ YOU'LL SEE THAT
LIFE IS A BALL AGAIN ♪
14
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:43,352
♪ LAUGHTER IS CALLING FOR YOU ♪
15
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:46,456
- ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪
- ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪
16
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,147
♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪
17
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:11,448
♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪
18
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,204
♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO. ♪
19
00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:20,111
OH COME ON!
20
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,548
CHRISSY! JANET!
21
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,118
(groans)
22
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:32,034
(doorbell ringing)
23
00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:35,137
HELP! MY NOSE IS CAUGHT!
24
00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:37,139
JANET!
25
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:39,909
- AAH!
- HI, JACK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
26
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,545
MY NOSE IS CAUGHT IN
THE DOORBELL. COME ON!
27
00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:44,514
JANET, COME HERE! LOOK AT JACK.
28
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,883
- THIS IS REALLY FUNNY.
- YEAH, IT'S REALLY FUNNY.
29
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,885
(laughs)
30
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:51,153
- JUST PLEASE GET THIS OUT.
- YES, OKAY, ALRIGHT.
31
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,278
OW!
32
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:57,960
WILL SOMEBODY GIVE ME A HAND
HERE? THESE BOTTLES ARE HEAVY.
33
00:01:57,984 --> 00:02:01,230
I ALWAYS SAID YOU COULDN'T
HOLD YOUR LIQUOR, JACK.
34
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:03,488
- HERE.
- OKAY.
35
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:08,538
MY ARMS HAVE GROWN SIX INCHES!
36
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:11,430
IT'S BETTER THAN IF
THEY GREW A FOOT!
37
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:19,783
JACK, LISTEN, IS THIS ALL
THE STUFF THAT YOU GOT?
38
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,585
- THERE'S MORE DOWNSTAIRS. I'LL GO GET IT.
- WHATEVER YOU DO,
39
00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:25,488
DON'T LET MR. ROPER SEE YOU. YOU
KNOW HOW HE FEELS ABOUT PARTIES.
40
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:27,924
DON'T WORRY, JANET. I
LEARNED CAMOUFLAGE
41
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,926
AND STALKING WHEN
I WAS A BOY SCOUT.
42
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,994
DID YOU GET ANY MERIT BADGES?
43
00:02:32,018 --> 00:02:35,086
NO, BUT I GOT A COUPLE
OF CAMPFIRE GIRLS.
44
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:41,704
DON'T WORRY, IT'S AN OLD BOY
SCOUT TRICK IT CONFUSES THE ENEMY.
45
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,528
(squeaky voice) THANK YOU!
46
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:47,977
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE
GOING TO ALL THIS TROUBLE FOR.
47
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,847
MR. ROPER IS BOUND TO FIND
OUT WE'RE HAVING A PARTY.
48
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:53,416
I KNOW, CHRISSY, BUT HE
WON'T FIND OUT UNTIL TONIGHT,
49
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,419
AND THEN IT'LL BE TOO LATE
FOR HIM TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
50
00:02:56,443 --> 00:03:00,523
- YEAH, BUT I FEEL SO GUILTY.
- CHRISSY, WE'RE NOT DOING
ANYTHING WRONG.
51
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:02,525
- WE'RE ONLY
HAVING A PARTY.
- YEAH...
52
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:04,661
IT'S THE FIRST ONE
WE'VE HAD IN OVER A YEAR.
53
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,763
- THAT'S TRUE.
- YEAH.
54
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:10,700
OUR FRIENDS HAVE BEEN ASKING
US TO PARTIES ALL YEAR LONG, RIGHT?
55
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,069
AND IF WE DON'T INVITE
THEM TO AT LEAST ONE PARTY,
56
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:15,738
THEN WE'LL BE LUCKY IF
WE HAVE ANY FRIENDS LEFT.
57
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,473
- YOU THINK SO?
- SURE.
58
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,242
OUR SOCIAL LIFE WOULD JUST
DWINDLE RIGHT DOWN TO NOTHING.
59
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:23,167
- THAT'S TRUE.
- WE'D BE LIVING
LIKE NUNS.
60
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,771
WOULD THAT MAKE JACK A MONK?
61
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,062
- HI, JACK.
- HI! HI! HI!
62
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:41,064
- HI, MR. ROPER.
- BEEN SHOPPING?
63
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:43,066
NO, JUST GETTING A
COUPLE OF SNACKS.
64
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,501
- A LOT OF WINE THERE.
- WELL...
65
00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:47,503
THAT'S ENOUGH FOR A WHOLE PARTY.
66
00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:49,438
A PARTY? OH NO, NO, NO.
67
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,474
IT'S JUST SOME COOKING WINE.
68
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:53,977
WHAT ARE YOU
COOKING, AN ELEPHANT?
69
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:58,081
(laughs) YOU'RE SO
FUNNY! AN ELEPHANT!
70
00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:00,249
- ACTUALLY...
- LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND WITH THAT.
71
00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:02,351
- OH NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
- NO, GO AHEAD, JACK.
72
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,308
- YOU DON'T...
- IT'S OKAY.
73
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,057
DO WE HAVE ANY OF THOSE...
74
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,627
WHAT DO YOU CALL THEM,
THOSE BACON-FLAVORED THINGS?
75
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:12,450
PIGS?
76
00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:17,199
Jack: MR. ROPER, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO COME INTO THE KITCHEN.
77
00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:19,102
- NO, THANKS.
- IT'S ROPER.
78
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:21,860
- ROPER? CHRISSY,
HIDE THE FOOD!
- OKAY.
79
00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:33,004
- HI!
- HI, THERE!
80
00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:37,286
- WHAT'S ALL THIS?
- OH, IT'S FOOD.
81
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,456
I KNOW IT'S FOOD,
82
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,392
- BUT FOR WHAT?
- FOR EATING.
83
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:44,394
BUT IT'S NOT JUST FOR YOU.
84
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,918
OH YES, IT IS! SEE?
85
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,803
YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?
86
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,827
PERISH THE THOUGHT!
87
00:04:59,332 --> 00:05:02,534
- ARE YOU
HAVING A PARTY?
- A PARTY?!
88
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,418
- NOT US.
- Janet: YES.
89
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,720
OH YES, YES...
90
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,022
YES, OF COURSE,
WE'RE HAVING A PARTY.
91
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,291
WHY, IT'S THE ONE
WE INVITED YOU TO.
92
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,949
- NOBODY INVITED ME.
- (gasps)
93
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:23,065
DID YOU FORGET TO CALL?
94
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:25,424
ME?
95
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,372
OH NO, I DIDN'T FORGET TO CALL,
96
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:32,676
'CAUSE JACK WAS SUPPOSED TO
CALL. DID YOU FORGET TO CALL?
97
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,745
YOU KIDS AREN'T
FOOLING ME FOR A MINUTE.
98
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,381
NO... WHAT... MR. ROPER, I
WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL.
99
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:40,850
IN FACT, LOOK, IF YOU
HURRY DOWNSTAIRS,
100
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,994
YOU'LL BE JUST IN TIME
TO ANSWER YOUR PHONE.
101
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,923
HOLD IT. HOLD IT.
102
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:49,592
I'M GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT I
TOLD YOU AFTER THE LAST PARTY.
103
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:51,594
- NO MORE PARTIES!
- MR. ROPER,
104
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:53,829
I KNOW OUR LAST PARTY
WAS A LITTLE NOISY...
105
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:54,697
A LITTLE NOISY?
106
00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:57,133
IT WAS A RIOT! IT WOKE ME UP.
107
00:05:57,157 --> 00:06:00,559
YOU KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO
WAKE ME UP? JUST ASK MRS. ROPER.
108
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,741
NO, NO, NO, YOU BETTER NOT.
109
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,843
ANYWAY, NO MORE PARTIES!
110
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,912
- BUT MR. ROPER...
- NO!
111
00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:11,536
THAT'S AN ORDER
FROM YOUR LANDLORD!
112
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:16,352
WHAT DO WE DO?
113
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,989
I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO
APPEAL TO A HIGHER COURT.
114
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,158
- MRS. ROPER?
- EXACTLY.
115
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,761
NOW WE HAVE TO DECIDE WHICH
ONE OF US IS GOING TO DO IT.
116
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,718
- OKAY.
- YOU OR CHRISSY.
117
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,373
DUMB KIDS.
118
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,131
Bird: DUMB KIDS. DUMB KIDS.
119
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,651
YOU'RE A GOOD BIRD.
120
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:51,187
YOU'RE A SMART BIRD TOO.
121
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:54,691
WE DON'T LIKE NOISY
PARTIES, DO WE?
122
00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:57,381
MAKES OUR FEATHERS FALL OUT.
123
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,871
PLAY WITH YOUR LITTLE TOY-TOY.
124
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,466
COME ON.
125
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:06,335
SAY IT... "STANLEY,
STANLEY." COME ON.
126
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:08,905
- "STANLEY."
- (knock on door)
127
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,862
EXCUSE ME.
128
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,279
OH, IT'S YOU.
129
00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:20,249
LISTEN, IF YOU CAME DOWN TO
TRY AND GET ME TO CHANGE MY MIND,
130
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,284
- YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.
- I DIDN'T.
131
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,887
I CAME HERE TO
TALK TO MRS. ROPER.
132
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:27,151
OH. COME ON IN.
133
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:32,228
WAIT A MINUTE. I'M ON
TO YOUR LITTLE GAME.
134
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,731
IT'S NOT GOING TO DO
YOU ANY GOOD. NO PARTIES!
135
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:37,100
WELL, CAN I JUST TALK
TO HER FOR A MINUTE?
136
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:40,536
I SAID IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD.
THERE'S ONLY ONE BOSS AROUND HERE.
137
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:44,195
IT'S NOT NICE TO TALK
ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK.
138
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,377
HI, CHRISSY. WHAT
BRINGS YOU HERE?
139
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,847
WELL, MRS. ROPER, WE'RE
HAVING A PARTY TONIGHT,
140
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:54,350
- AND WE'D LIKE
TO INVITE YOU.
- OH, HOW NICE!
141
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,452
WAIT A MINUTE. THAT'S NOT FAIR.
142
00:07:56,476 --> 00:08:00,322
- I ALREADY TOLD THEM
THEY COULDN'T HAVE A PARTY.
- IS THAT YOUR FINAL WORD?
143
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:02,291
- YEAH.
- GOOD.
144
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,715
THEN WE WON'T HAVE TO
HEAR ANY MORE FROM YOU.
145
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,633
I'D LOVE TO COME, CHRISSY.
146
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,902
- OH GOOD.
- AND THANKS
FOR THE INVITATION.
147
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,293
YOU'RE WELCOME. BYE, MR. ROPER.
148
00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:21,610
- HELEN, YOU'RE GOING
AGAINST MY WISHES.
- DON'T BE SILLY, STANLEY.
149
00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:24,647
- IT'S JUST
A LITTLE PARTY.
- AND OUR WEDDING SERVICE SAID,
150
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,249
"LOVE, HONOR AND OBEY."
IT DIDN'T SAY, "LOVE, HONOR
151
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:29,251
AND MAKE STANLEY
LOOK LIKE A JERK"!
152
00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:33,845
THAT'S BECAUSE GOD HAD
ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF THAT PART.
153
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,860
YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK
FOOLISH IN FRONT OF THE KIDS.
154
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,963
NOW THEY'RE GONNA BE
UPSTAIRS LAUGHING AT ME.
155
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:43,265
AND AT 8:00, I'LL JOIN THEM!
156
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,267
NO, YOU WON'T.
157
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,637
YOU'LL BE DOWNSTAIRS,
IN THE BEDROOM WITH ME!
158
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:51,629
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE
WHERE I LAUGH?
159
00:08:58,004 --> 00:09:00,671
(disco music plays)
160
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:04,453
- (music stops)
- IT'S AFTER 10:00.
161
00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:08,057
- WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
- IT'S AN OMEN!
162
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,059
IF YOU GIVE A PARTY
AND NOBODY SHOWS UP,
163
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,195
IT MEANS BAD LUCK
IS COMING YOUR WAY.
164
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,264
NO, CHRISSY, COME ON.
THAT'S AN OLD WIFE'S TALE.
165
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,834
IT IS NOT! I HEARD IT
FROM JOAN FRASIER,
166
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,791
AND SHE'S ONLY 24!
167
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:25,341
LISTEN, I HAVE AN
IDEA, OKAY? READY?
168
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,644
WHY DON'T WE JUST START
THE PARTY WITHOUT THEM?
169
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:30,246
- LET'S DO THAT!
- GOOD IDEA!
170
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,115
COME ON, EVERYBODY, LET'S EAT!
171
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,183
YOU KNOW, I REALLY
BELIEVE THAT ANY MINUTE
172
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:37,567
ALL OF OUR FRIENDS ARE JUST GONNA
COME BARGING RIGHT THROUGH THAT DOOR!
173
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,659
OR MAYBE NOT.
174
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:45,803
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S
HAPPENING. THEY ALL SAID THEY'D COME!
175
00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:50,233
- WAIT A SECOND. HERE'S A CAR!
- Janet: THERE IS?
176
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,601
- IT'S MARGO AND TOM!
- (cheers)
177
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,971
YEAH, BUT THEY'RE ALWAYS
THE LAST ONES TO COME.
178
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:58,040
THIS TIME THEY'RE THE FIRST
ONES. MAYBE IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY!
179
00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,708
(plays music)
180
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:02,879
OKAY, MRS. ROPER, LET'S SHOW THEM
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A SWINGING TIME!
181
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:07,449
- OH, WHY NOT?
- GETTING DOWN!
182
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:09,818
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
183
00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:12,911
WHAT DO WE NEED
WITH OTHER PEOPLE?
184
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,760
JACK! HEY, JACK, THEY'RE
GETTING BACK IN THEIR CAR!
185
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,661
- ARE YOU KIDDING?
- NO.
186
00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:21,563
MARGO! TOM!
187
00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:23,732
CHRISSY, WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?
188
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:27,316
MAYBE THEY DIDN'T THINK
THEY WERE LATE ENOUGH.
189
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,742
WELL...
190
00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:36,779
THIS IS SURE A LOT DIFFERENT
THAN THE LAST PARTY WE THREW.
191
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,315
- YEAH, EVERYBODY
CAME EARLY.
- YEAH.
192
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,984
GOSH, THERE MUST HAVE
BEEN 75 PEOPLE HERE.
193
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:46,477
- REMEMBER THE BED
COLLAPSED?
- REALLY?
194
00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:51,049
- ALL THOSE COATS.
- OH YEAH.
195
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,696
HI!
196
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,765
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
COULDN'T YOU CATCH THEM?
197
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:59,002
NO, I CAUGHT THIS INSTEAD. THIS WAS
STUCK TO THE STAIRCASE DOWNSTAIRS.
198
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,337
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!
LET ME SEE THAT.
199
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,706
THAT'S STANLEY'S HANDWRITING.
200
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:06,998
(gasps) OH NO!
201
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,835
THIS TIME, HE'S GONE TOO FAR!
202
00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:17,053
- WHAT IS IT, JACK?
- WHAT DOES IT SAY?
203
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:19,455
"SORRY, FOLKS, PARTY CANCELLED.
204
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:22,624
- HAD TO LEAVE TOWN."
- AW...
205
00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:26,095
- THAT...
- GO AHEAD, CHRISSY, SAY IT FOR ALL OF US!
206
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:30,188
THAT... ROPER!
207
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,510
YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ME, YOU KNOW?
208
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,747
YOU TRIED TO PRETEND YOU
WERE LEAVING ME ONCE BEFORE,
209
00:11:44,771 --> 00:11:48,039
BUT YOU COULDN'T
DO IT. REMEMBER?
210
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,142
IT WAS JUST A BLUFF.
211
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:57,340
I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
YOU'RE UPSET, AREN'T YOU?
212
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:03,099
I CAN ALWAYS TELL. IT'S THE
ONLY TIME YOU STOP TALKING.
213
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,190
YOU TOAD!
214
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:10,829
WELL, THAT'S BETTER.
NOW WE'RE COMMUNICATING.
215
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,710
ALL THIS JUST BECAUSE
I STOPPED THE PARTY?
216
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:19,548
THIS IS JUST THE STRAW THAT
BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK, STANLEY!
217
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,684
NOW I'VE GOT TO
GET AWAY FROM YOU.
218
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:24,987
I'M GOING TO GO AND
STAY WITH MY SISTER.
219
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:27,078
HELEN, YOU'RE JUST BEING SILLY.
220
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,149
HELEN?
221
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:42,126
HOW FAR ARE YOU GOING
TO CARRY THIS BLUFF?
222
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,614
OH, COME ON, JACK. GIVE IT UP.
223
00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:55,885
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET ANYBODY
TO COME BACK HERE FOR A PARTY NOW.
224
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,542
YEAH, I'M ALREADY HERE
AND I DON'T WANT TO COME.
225
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:02,524
DON'T WORRY. THIS IS BETTY.
BETTY'S CRAZY ABOUT ME.
226
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:05,962
SHE'LL CALL A COUPLE A GIRLFRIENDS,
THEY'LL CALL A COUPLE OF FELLAS...
227
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,697
HELLO, BETTY? JACK TRIPPER HERE.
228
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,632
HI. NO, WE'RE HOME.
229
00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:13,002
SOME PRACTICAL
JOKER PUT UP THAT SIGN.
230
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,004
THE PARTY'S STILL ON!
231
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,840
SO HOW ABOUT COMING
OVER HERE RIGHT NOW?
232
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:20,009
YOU'RE UNDRESSED AND IN BED?
233
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:23,346
WELL, HOW ABOUT ME COMING
OVER THERE RIGHT NOW?
234
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,481
HELLO, BETTY? BETTY?
235
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:26,949
(screams)
236
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:29,018
OH BOY.
237
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:31,220
- (knock on door)
- Mr. Roper: OPEN UP!
238
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:33,655
- IT'S ROPER!
- OH THAT FINK!
239
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:36,292
- Janet:
DON'T LET HIM IN!
- OF COURSE I'LL LET HIM IN,
240
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,961
THEN I'M GONNA LET HIM HAVE IT!
241
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,530
Both: I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!
242
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,467
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?!
243
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,568
- YOU SPOILED OUR PARTY!
- MY WIFE LEFT ME!
244
00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:48,570
ALL OF OUR FRIENDS...
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
245
00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:51,207
I SAID MY WIFE LEFT ME,
AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.
246
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:54,010
- OUR FAULT?
- YEAH, FILLING HER HEAD
WITH THOSE CRAZY IDEAS.
247
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,879
- WE DIDN'T DO
ANY SUCH THING.
- Mr. Roper: YOU MUST HAVE.
248
00:13:56,903 --> 00:14:00,423
WHY WOULD SHE LEAVE A MAN
LIKE ME IF SHE WASN'T CRAZY?
249
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:04,353
YOU'RE UPSET NOW. YOU'RE
SAYING THINGS YOU DON'T MEAN.
250
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,788
LET HER STAY AWAY. IT'LL
BE A VACATION FOR ME.
251
00:14:06,812 --> 00:14:09,052
COME ON, YOU DON'T MEAN THAT.
252
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,294
WHY IS EVERYBODY TELLING
ME WHAT I DON'T MEAN?!
253
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:14,530
I KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
AND WHAT I MEAN IS,
254
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,798
I LIKE BEING ALONE.
255
00:14:16,822 --> 00:14:20,236
I CAN DO WHAT I FEEL
LIKE, WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT,
256
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:23,261
WHERE I FEEL LIKE IT,
AND HOW I FEEL LIKE IT!
257
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,247
I FEEL HUNGRY.
258
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:33,282
WHAT?
259
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:36,807
HELEN DIDN'T MAKE ME
DINNER BEFORE SHE LEFT.
260
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,214
- WELL...
- THANKS.
261
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,758
YOU GOT A LITTLE
WINE TO GO WITH THIS?
262
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,211
I FINISHED ANSWERING
MRS. ROPER'S LETTER.
263
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,880
DID SHE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT
WHEN SHE'S COMING BACK?
264
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:08,172
UH-HUH. WHEN PIGS GROW WINGS.
265
00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:14,878
THAT COULD TAKE WEEKS.
266
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:22,698
YEAH, WELL I HOPE NOT. I CAN'T
TAKE MUCH MORE OF ROPER.
267
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:25,668
- HE'S UP HERE
ALL THE TIME.
- I KNOW, I KNOW.
268
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:28,504
- I'M GONNA GO MAIL MY LETTER.
- OH, JANET, WAIT A SECOND.
269
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:31,006
WAIT. LISTEN... IF
YOU RUN INTO ROPER,
270
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:34,743
DON'T INVITE HIM UP HERE. HE'S NOT
MOOCHING ANY MORE MEALS OFF OF US.
271
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,613
JACK, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO
INVITED HIM UP HERE LAST TIME.
272
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:40,115
WHAT ELSE COULD I DO?
273
00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:42,084
HE WAS STANDING
WITH A KNIFE AND A FORK
274
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,286
STICKING OUT OF
HIS SHIRT POCKET!
275
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,555
Roper: ANYBODY HOME?
276
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,624
CHRISSY, GET UNDER THE COUCH.
277
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,581
- HEY...
- GET RID OF HIM!
278
00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,631
DID SOMEBODY SAY "COME IN"?
279
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:59,223
- I'M GOING
TO MAIL A LETTER.
- WELL, GOOD GOOD.
280
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,978
IS HE GONE YET?
281
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:11,113
NO.
282
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,682
OH, HI, MR. ROPER!
GET DOWN, CHRISSY!
283
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,784
KEEP LOOKING.
284
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,654
IT MIGHT HAVE ROLLED
UNDER THE COUCH.
285
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,545
I LOST A SOCK.
286
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:29,165
- YOU THINK
IT ROLLED AWAY?
- IT WAS IN A BALL...
287
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:31,367
IS THERE ANYTHING
WE CAN DO FOR YOU?
288
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:34,236
- I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
LIKE SOME COMPANY.
- OH NO, THANKS.
289
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:37,780
THAT'S NICE OF YOU, BUT
WE'RE VERY BUSY. KEEP LOOKING!
290
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,879
BOY, THAT SMELLS GOOD.
291
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,981
THANK YOU. IT'S
JUST A LITTLE DINNER.
292
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,750
IT'S JUST BARELY ENOUGH
FOR THE THREE OF US.
293
00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:51,620
I WASN'T HINTING FOR YOU
TO GIVE ME SOMETHING TO EAT.
294
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:53,556
I HAVE PLENTY TO EAT DOWNSTAIRS.
295
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:56,725
I'VE GOT PEANUT
BUTTER AND BREAD, AND...
296
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,860
AND A KNIFE.
297
00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:01,230
WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
298
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,654
THAT SMELLS GOOD.
299
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:08,230
SO DO YOU. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
300
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:20,449
- I THINK I'LL GO.
- SO SOON?
301
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,451
YEAH... I GOT TO GO.
302
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,342
OKAY.
303
00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:33,729
MR. ROPER'S STARTING A
NEW TAKE-OUT BUSINESS.
304
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:36,798
- WHAT?
- I'VE HEARD OF CHICKEN
IN A BUCKET,
305
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:38,834
BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN
CHICKEN IN A POCKET!
306
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,625
WHAT?
307
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,841
- DID YOU GET THE LETTER
OFF ALL RIGHT?
- YEAH.
308
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,843
IT WAS REAL EASY.
309
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:51,513
I STUCK IT IN THE SLOT, OPENED MY
FINGERS, AND IT FELL RIGHT DOWN.
310
00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:53,915
CAN I TALK TO YOU PRIVATELY?
311
00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:55,884
OH WELL, MR. ROPER,
I GOT TO GET UP...
312
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,319
PLEASE?
313
00:17:57,343 --> 00:18:01,078
OH... SURE. WHY NOT?
314
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:09,398
OH.
315
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,934
HERE. SIT DOWN. THE
PLACE IS A MESS, ISN'T IT?
316
00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:16,037
IT'S NOT SO BAD.
317
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,906
HELEN REALLY USED
TO KEEP IT NEAT.
318
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,709
- I'LL SAY THAT
FOR HER.
- AW...
319
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:23,479
- YOU MISS HER,
DON'T YOU?
- ME?
320
00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:25,781
NAH. NOT AT ALL.
321
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,650
- YOU DON'T?
- NO.
322
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:31,487
- BUT HE MISSES HER.
- (bird cackles)
323
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:34,290
I HEAR HIM AT
NIGHT, LYING AWAKE,
324
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:38,394
TOSSING AND
TURNING, MISSING HER.
325
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:40,362
HE LIKES HER, HUH?
326
00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:42,431
NOW THAT SHE'S GONE,
327
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,433
HE REALIZES HOW
MUCH HE LIKES HER.
328
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,068
HOW ABOUT A TELEPHONE
CALL ASKING HER TO COME BACK?
329
00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:49,612
I DON'T LET HIM USE THE PHONE.
330
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:57,312
WELL, YOU COULD
CALL HER FOR HIS SAKE.
331
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,715
JANET, TELL ME SOMETHING.
332
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,983
IF YOU WERE HELEN,
333
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:05,487
- WOULD YOU
COME BACK TO ME?
- NO.
334
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:09,057
WELL, I MEAN, NO, NOT THE
WAY YOU'RE LOOKING NOW.
335
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,059
BUT IF YOU COMBED YOUR HAIR,
336
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,750
AND YOU GOT ALL DRESSED UP...
337
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:18,066
- THEN YOU'D COME BACK?
- I WOULDN'T.
338
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:20,591
BUT SHE MIGHT. SURE, SHE MIGHT.
339
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,407
(bird whistles)
340
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:45,794
I LOOK GOOD, HUH?
341
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:48,430
I'M GOING TO GO
BRING HELEN BACK.
342
00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:50,566
I'M GOING TO GO TO HER SISTER'S.
343
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:53,368
SHE'S GOING TO COME OUT AND SAY,
344
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:56,605
"OH STANLEY!"
345
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:59,341
AND I'M GOING TO SAY, "HELEN...
346
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,298
I LOVE YOU."
347
00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:08,438
YEAH, WHAT THE HELL!
HELEN, I LOVE YOU!
348
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,987
I'M GOING TO GO TO THE DOOR...
349
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,889
AND I'M GOING TO SAY...
350
00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:16,859
- "YOU'RE COMING
WITH ME, WOMAN!"
- I BEG YOUR PARDON?
351
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,361
OH I'M SORRY.
352
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:22,430
- YOU'RE MRS... FROM THE PET SHOP.
- YES, MRS. HOLLINS.
353
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,432
OH, COME IN.
354
00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:28,169
- I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU
WITH YOUR CLOTHES ON.
- MR. ROPER!
355
00:20:28,193 --> 00:20:30,806
I MEAN, I USUALLY SEE
YOU WITH THAT SMOCK.
356
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,841
YOU LEFT THIS
BEHIND AT THE SHOP.
357
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,911
- IT'S THE VITAMINS
FOR YOUR PARAKEET.
- OH. THANK YOU.
358
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:38,914
- HOW'S YOUR
PARAKEET DOING?
- NOT TOO GOOD.
359
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,016
I'M LONELY... I MEAN...
360
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,985
- HE'S LONELY.
- AW...
361
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,987
CAN I HAVE A LOOK AT
THE POOR LITTLE THING?
362
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:46,944
SURE. SURE.
363
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:53,584
I'M JUST... I WAS JUST SO
HAPPY WHEN YOU CALLED ME.
364
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,965
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
365
00:20:56,989 --> 00:21:00,002
- HE REALLY MISSES ME?
- OH, MRS. ROPER,
366
00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:04,506
AT NIGHT WE HEAR THESE GURGLING
SOBS COMING FROM DOWNSTAIRS.
367
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:06,864
THAT'S THE TOILET.
368
00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:10,846
NO, THAT'S MR. ROPER.
369
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:14,337
- HE'S NOT THE MAN
HE USED TO BE.
- HE NEVER WAS.
370
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:18,153
THE IMPORTANT THING
IS, HE MISSED YOU.
371
00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:22,558
MAYBE I HAVE BEEN
A LITTLE HASTY.
372
00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:24,593
SHOULD I GIVE HIM
ANOTHER CHANCE?
373
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,884
- IS HE WORTH IT?
- OF COURSE!
374
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:30,231
NO, HE'S NOT.
375
00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:32,523
BUT HE'S MINE.
376
00:21:35,060 --> 00:21:37,461
- HELEN.
- STANLEY...
377
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:41,899
STANLEY, DON'T SAY A WORD NOW.
378
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:45,669
DON'T SAY ANYTHING. JUST LISTEN.
379
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:51,587
NOW... IF TWO PEOPLE
LOVE EACH OTHER,
380
00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:55,791
DOES IT MATTER WHETHER
THEY LIKE EACH OTHER?
381
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,759
I MEAN, ALL THE TIME.
382
00:21:57,783 --> 00:22:00,784
ISN'T THAT WHAT
LOVE IS ALL ABOUT?
383
00:22:02,722 --> 00:22:04,733
HERE WE ARE! NOTHING
LIKE SOME VITAMINS
384
00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:07,836
- TO PEP A FELLOW UP!
- OH.
385
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:09,638
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD COMPANY.
386
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,974
- HELEN, I CAN EXPLAIN.
- I'M MRS. HOLLINS.
387
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:14,198
I JUST CAME OVER TO
SEE HIS LITTLE FRIEND.
388
00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:19,302
OH. (laughs)
389
00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:22,918
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU
THINK. YOU'D BETTER GO.
390
00:22:22,942 --> 00:22:25,186
I CAN STRAIGHTEN OUT
THIS WHOLE MESS, SOMEHOW.
391
00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:27,956
- NICE MEETING YOU.
- LIKEWISE.
392
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:30,526
BYE!
393
00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:33,194
BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR
TEMPER, YOU GOT TO BELIEVE ME.
394
00:22:33,218 --> 00:22:36,453
- NOTHING HAPPENED!
- I KNOW.
395
00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:40,468
YOU DON'T KNOW. I'M A MAN!
396
00:22:40,492 --> 00:22:42,137
I'M CAPABLE.
397
00:22:42,161 --> 00:22:44,294
GIVEN TIME...
398
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:48,043
YOU CAUGHT ME
WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.
399
00:22:48,067 --> 00:22:50,311
YOU SHOULD BE SHOCKED AND UPSET.
400
00:22:50,335 --> 00:22:53,303
OKAY, SO I'M SHOCKED AND UPSET.
401
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,084
THAT'S BETTER.
402
00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:58,787
COME ON, STANLEY, I
DIDN'T COME BACK HOME
403
00:22:58,811 --> 00:23:02,558
TO FIGHT WITH YOU.
I CAME BACK TO...
404
00:23:02,582 --> 00:23:04,848
TO FORGIVE AND FORGET.
405
00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:09,631
THANK YOU.
406
00:23:09,655 --> 00:23:11,789
I'M GLAD YOU CAME BACK.
407
00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:27,082
THANK YOU, STANLEY.
408
00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:30,619
AND NOW COMES THE
BEST PART OF THE FIGHT.
409
00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:32,588
WHAT'S THAT?
410
00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:35,691
MAKING UP.
411
00:23:35,715 --> 00:23:37,948
COME ON, LOVER.
412
00:23:39,018 --> 00:23:40,784
I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH.
413
00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:56,734
THESE PAST FEW DAYS
HAVE BEEN FANTASTIC!
414
00:23:58,137 --> 00:24:01,116
STANLEY HAS BEEN SO ATTENTIVE
415
00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:03,919
AND SO LOVING AND SO ROMANTIC!
416
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:06,343
I FEEL LIKE A BRIDE
ON HER HONEYMOON!
417
00:24:08,247 --> 00:24:11,693
- MRS. ROPER,
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
- YEAH, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
418
00:24:11,717 --> 00:24:15,130
OH, HEY, I GOT HIM TO
LET YOU GIVE YOUR PARTY!
419
00:24:15,154 --> 00:24:17,032
- YOU DID?
- THAT'S FANTASTIC!
420
00:24:17,056 --> 00:24:21,025
- HOW DID YOU
PERSUADE HIM TO DO THAT?
- OH, JUST A LITTLE BRIBERY.
421
00:24:22,094 --> 00:24:25,228
- WHAT DID YOU GIVE HIM?
- A NIGHT OFF.
422
00:24:32,938 --> 00:24:36,273
(theme music playing)
423
00:24:50,722 --> 00:24:53,235
Ritter's voice: "THREE'S
COMPANY" WAS VIDEOTAPED
424
00:24:53,259 --> 00:24:55,192
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
29907
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