All language subtitles for Threes Company S03E03 The Love Diary.DVDRip.HI.cc.en

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:04,403 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,523 ♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪ 3 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,625 ♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪ 4 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,627 ♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪ 5 00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,296 ♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪ 6 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,931 ♪ WHERE THE KISSES ARE HERS AND HERS AND HIS ♪ 7 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:24,201 ♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪ 8 00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:26,203 ♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪ 9 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,205 ♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪ 10 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:31,041 - ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪ - ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪ 11 00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:34,144 ♪ WE'VE A LOVABLE SPACE THAT NEEDS YOUR FACE ♪ 12 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:37,047 ♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪ 13 00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:39,916 ♪ YOU'LL SEE THAT LIFE IS A BALL AGAIN ♪ 14 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:43,353 ♪ LAUGHTER IS CALLING FOR YOU ♪ 15 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,456 - ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪ - ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪ 16 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,147 ♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪ 17 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:11,448 ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪ 18 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,204 ♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO. ♪ 19 00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:17,621 (phone rings) 20 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:20,323 I'LL GET IT! 21 00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:22,325 - CHRISSY! - HELL... 22 00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:24,327 - JUST A MINUTE. - JUST A MINUTE. 23 00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:26,996 IF THAT IS CHUCK, TELL HIM I'VE GONE AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND. 24 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,698 - OKAY. - IF IT'S TIM, TELL HIM 25 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,800 I'M DOING THE LAUNDRY AND I'LL CALL HIM LATER. 26 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,535 - ALL RIGHT. - OH, IT COULD BE MICHAEL. 27 00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:35,372 IF IT'S MICHAEL... LET IT BE MICHAEL... TELL HIM I WILL TALK TO HIM. 28 00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:37,540 CHUCK, YOU'RE GOING AWAY, TIM'S THE LAUNDRY, 29 00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:39,776 - AND MICHAEL YOU'LL TALK TO? - YOU GOT IT! 30 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,511 HELLO? 31 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,647 - ROY? - ROY? I'M DEAD. 32 00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,749 I AM SORRY, ROY, SHE'S DEAD. 33 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,606 CHRISSY! 34 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,121 - WHAT DID YOU DO?! - YOU GOT ME SO CONFUSED. 35 00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:54,291 - DO I LOOK DEAD? - NO. 36 00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:56,459 I'M SORRY, CHRISSY, IT'S MY FAULT. 37 00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:59,028 - HE'LL CALL BACK. - YEAH, OR SEND A WREATH. 38 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,598 - (phone ringing) - SEE? DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE CARE OF IT? 39 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,500 NO, I THINK YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH ALREADY. 40 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:06,235 YOU SIT DOWN AND TYPE, AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE PHONE. 41 00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:09,906 HELLO? OH HI, ROY! 42 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:13,910 OH THANK YOU. I'M VERY RELIEVED TO HEAR YOUR VOICE TOO. 43 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,978 - YEAH. - (Jack grunts) 44 00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:17,880 CHRISSY, JANET, SOMEBODY HELP ME. 45 00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:20,883 - WHAT'S THE MATTER, JACK? - MY PANTS GOT CAUGHT ON THE CHAIN. 46 00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:24,421 OKAY, OKAY, ROY. OKAY, BYE BYE. 47 00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,690 OH GEE, JACK. 48 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:30,193 I HATE TO BE THE ONE TO TELL YOU, BUT YOUR BIKE'S GOT A LIMP. 49 00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:33,363 - YOU'RE GOING TO HELP ME OR WHAT? - WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO? 50 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:36,321 HERE, I'LL HOLD THE BIKE WHILE YOU TAKE OFF MY PANTS. 51 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,938 - I'M BUSY. - SO AM I. 52 00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:45,029 WHAT'S THE MATTER? HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN A MAN'S BICYCLE BEFORE? 53 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:50,246 - JUST HELP ME. - JUST FORGET IT. TAKE YOUR OWN PANTS OFF! 54 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,114 OW. OH! 55 00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:54,072 (screams) 56 00:02:57,143 --> 00:02:59,556 MY PANTS AREN'T CAUGHT ANYMORE, ARE THEY? 57 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,459 LET ME WALK IT OFF. LET ME WALK IT OFF. 58 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:05,528 HOLD ME. HOLD ME TIGHT, CHRISSY. 59 00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:08,364 - MASSAGE IT A LITTLE, JANET. - ALL RIGHT. 60 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:11,367 - OH BOY. - IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS LEG? 61 00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:13,625 NO, I JUST LOVE THE ATTENTION. 62 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,841 OH, JACK... 63 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,510 I HAVE TO GET GOING. I'VE GOT SOME HEAVY SHOPPING TO DO. 64 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,079 - HEY, CHRISSY, YOU WANT TO COME WITH ME? - NO, THANKS. 65 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:26,449 I'VE GOT TO FINISH THIS TYPING. I'M GETTING 75¢ A PAGE, YOU KNOW? 66 00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:29,018 WOW, GOOD FOR YOU! OKAY, HONEY, SEE YOU LATER. 67 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,987 - OKAY, BYE BYE. - BYE. 68 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,989 - BYE, JANET. - GOOD BYE, JACK. 69 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:36,526 DON'T TELL ME SOMEBODY FINALLY ANSWERED THAT AD YOU PUT UP IN THE SUPERMARKET. 70 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:40,229 - UH-HUH, IT'S MY FIRST FREE-LANCE JOB. - 75¢ A PAGE? 71 00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:43,165 OH CHRISSY, WE CAN FINALLY BUY THAT LITTLE HOUSE IN THE COUNTRY 72 00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:46,035 AND HAVE LOTS OF KIDS AND PIGS. (snorting) 73 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,070 COME ON! I'VE GOT TO FINISH THIS. 74 00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:50,573 THE AUTHOR WANTS TO SEND IT TO THE PUBLISHER RIGHT AWAY. 75 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:53,777 "MY DIARY, BY WANDA X." 76 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:57,281 IT'S A STRANGE NAME, ISN'T IT? I WONDER WHAT THE "X" STANDS FOR. 77 00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,884 (moans) HAVEN'T YOU READ THIS? 78 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,152 THE "X" ISN'T A NAME, IT'S A RATING! 79 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:06,088 CHRISSY, THIS IS HOT STUFF. WHAT DOES WANDA X LOOK LIKE? 80 00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:08,758 I DON'T KNOW, I'VE NEVER SEEN HER. SHE SENT IT TO ME IN THE MAIL. 81 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,193 OH, LISTEN, I'LL HELP YOU OUT. 82 00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:13,930 - I'LL DICTATE AND YOU TYPE. - OH GREAT. 83 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:17,801 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THIS IS HOT STUFF? - YOU'LL SEE. START TYPING. 84 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:21,638 "JANUARY 1ST. MY EYES OPENED TO THE NEW YEAR, 85 00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:24,206 AND I SAW JULIAN'S SLEEPING FORM. 86 00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:27,844 SOMETHING STIRRED WITHIN ME, SOME DEEP PRIMITIVE LUST. 87 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,769 I REACHED OVER AND TOUCHED JULIAN'S SHOULDER AND..." 88 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:39,522 - JACK! - SHH! 89 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:42,659 WHAT HAPPENS AFTER SHE TOUCHES JULIAN'S SHOULDER? 90 00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:44,627 EVERYTHING! 91 00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:47,563 - COME ON, JACK, QUIT FOOLING AROUND! - I'M NOT FOOLING AROUND, 92 00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:51,556 BUT WANDA X DEFINITELY IS. CHECK OUT THIS PASSAGE RIGHT HERE. 93 00:04:55,562 --> 00:05:00,732 - OH. - MMM... - OH. - (mutters) 94 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,682 - OH! - WOO-HOO! 95 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:08,317 DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE DID ON WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY? 96 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:11,142 YEAH, I'LL BET OLD GEORGE NEVER EVEN DID THAT ON HIS HONEYMOON! 97 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:17,193 - SHE'S NOT A GOOD WRITER. - YEAH, BUT SHE DOES GREAT RESEARCH! 98 00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,851 LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH. 99 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,976 JACK, I AM NOT FINISHED. 100 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,067 I AM. 101 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:41,084 - WHY DID YOU STOP? - I CAN'T TYPE THAT WORD. 102 00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:43,174 THAT ONE? 103 00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:49,047 - WHEW! THANK YOU. - MY PLEASURE. 104 00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:55,253 (laughs) COME... 105 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:05,174 - THAT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE! CHRISSY... - JACK! 106 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,777 DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU CAN DO IN ANOTHER PLACE? 107 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,179 - SURE. - WOULD YOU PLEASE GO DO IT? 108 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,536 OKAY! (cheers) 109 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:18,221 OH STANLEY, WILL YOU TURN THAT THING OFF? 110 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,178 ALL IT DOES IS MAKE NOISE! 111 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,894 - NOT THE ONLY THING AROUND HERE THAT DOES THAT. - (machine stops) 112 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,663 WHAT? 113 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:29,699 I'M SORRY, HELEN, I GOT TO FIGURE OUT HOW THE SHAMPOOER WORKS. 114 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,301 - JUST GO BACK TO YOUR CLAY. - I'D LIKE TO, 115 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,793 BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SCULPT. 116 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,697 ARE YOU KIDDING? THAT'S A GREAT LIKENESS! 117 00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,378 THAT? 118 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,181 - IT'S JUST A BLOB. - DON'T FOOL ME. 119 00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:48,072 I'D RECOGNIZE YOUR MOTHER ANYPLACE. 120 00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:53,890 COME ON, STANLEY, FORGET YOUR SHAMPOOING 121 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,926 AND COME AND POSE FOR ME, HUH? 122 00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,928 ARE YOU CRAZY? THIS MACHINE IS RENTED. 123 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:03,766 - JUST TALKING TO YOU HAS COST ME 25¢! - YOU'RE SO ROMANTIC! 124 00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:06,535 LISTEN, I FIGURE IF YOU GOT SOMETHING, YOU OUGHT TO USE IT. 125 00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:09,460 RIGHT! 126 00:07:11,498 --> 00:07:13,509 HELEN, I GOT TO GO UPSTAIRS. 127 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,678 OH COME ON, STANLEY! 128 00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:18,347 SIT FOR ME. COME ON, IT'LL BE FUN. 129 00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:21,050 HELEN, I PROMISED THE KIDS I'D SHAMPOO THEIR RUG. 130 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,554 THEY'VE BEEN WAITING SIX MONTHS FOR ME. 131 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,611 I KNOW HOW THEY FEEL. 132 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:35,131 CHRISSY, THIS NEW WIRE WHIP SURE MAKES BAKING EASY. 133 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,066 WILL YOU TASTE SOMETHING FOR ME? 134 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,669 IT'S A NEW CAKE BATTER. 135 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,626 YEAH, JACK. 136 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:46,442 - WELL? - IT'S GREAT, JACK. 137 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,945 - YOU REALLY LIKE IT? - I LOVE IT, JACK. 138 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:53,582 OH I'M GLAD, BECAUSE IT'S MADE OUT OF DOG HAIR, ONIONS AND A SOCCER BALL. 139 00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:57,654 - IT SMELLS GOOD. - CHRISSY, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 140 00:07:57,678 --> 00:08:00,356 OH I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST THIS DIARY... 141 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,792 WANDA X IS AN UNHAPPY WOMAN. 142 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,728 YOU'RE KIDDING? WANDA X IS CERTAINLY NOT UNHAPPY. 143 00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:09,165 A LITTLE TIRED MAYBE, BUT NOT UNHAPPY. 144 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,950 YOU MEN JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. LISTEN TO THIS. 145 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:16,806 "I REALIZE NOW THERE'S ONLY ONE MAN I TRULY LOVE. 146 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,808 HE'S THE OLDER, DIGNIFIED MAN 147 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,044 WHO LIVES IN THE APARTMENT BENEATH ME. 148 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:24,647 BUT HE'S MARRIED, SO MY LOVE FOR HIM REMAINS UNFULFILLED..." 149 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,216 OH CHRISSY, WE'VE GOT TO HELP THIS POOR CHILD SOMEHOW. 150 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,019 "WILL I EVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF HIS LIPS 151 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,689 OR THE FEEL OF HIS SENSUAL FINGERS 152 00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:35,224 FINDING THEIR WAY OVER THE YEARNING... 153 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:39,562 YEARNING... YEARNING ME?" 154 00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:43,766 I BETTER GET THIS AWAY FROM HERE. MY BATTER'S STARTING TO BUBBLE. 155 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:45,389 "IF ONLY... 156 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,572 IF ONLY HE COULD NOTICE ME, 157 00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:53,176 JUST GIVE ME SOME SIGN TO SHOW HE KNOWS I'M ALIVE... 158 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:57,246 A DAZZLING SMILE, A KNOWING WINK... 159 00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:01,350 A MEANINGFUL BRUSH AGAINST MY SHOULDER. 160 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,786 AH, THAT WOULD SATISFY ME." 161 00:09:03,810 --> 00:09:06,388 (laughs) OH NO, THAT WILL NEVER SATISFY HER! 162 00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:09,092 - (doorbell rings) - IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, ASK JULIAN! 163 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:09,622 OH JACK! 164 00:09:09,646 --> 00:09:12,083 OR NIGEL, OR WOLFGANG. THEY'RE ALL IN THERE! 165 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,131 HI, JACK. 166 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:18,300 HAVING THE GIRLS OVER FOR A TUPPERWARE PARTY? 167 00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:20,669 NO, MR. ROPER, I'M JUST BREAKING IN MY NEW WHIP. 168 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:23,895 HEY, NONE OF THAT STUFF AROUND HERE. 169 00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:28,077 HI, MR. ROPER. 170 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:31,147 HI, CHRISSY. I CAME UP TO SHAMPOO YOUR CARPET. 171 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:34,405 WHY, HAS IT GOT DANDRUFF? (snorts and laughs) 172 00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:39,589 - I'LL GO GET MY EQUIPMENT. - HEY, MR. ROPER? 173 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,591 WOULD YOU MIND DOING IT SOME OTHER TIME? 174 00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:44,293 BECAUSE I'VE GOT ALL THIS TYPING AND EVERYTHING TO DO. 175 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,763 THE METER'S RUNNING ON MY SHAMPOOER. 176 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:49,531 YOU KIDS BETTER STAY OUT OF THE LIVING ROOM FOR AWHILE. 177 00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:51,968 I GUESS I'LL EXPERIMENT WITH ANOTHER BATTER. 178 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,937 - I GUESS I'LL GO TAKE MY SHOWER NOW. - THAT SOUNDS LIKE MORE FUN. 179 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:56,839 I'LL JOIN YOU. 180 00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:59,563 - I GOT THINGS TO DO. - YEAH, SO DO I. 181 00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,874 I'LL BE IN HERE. 182 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,437 - OH... - HEY, DID I LEAVE A DISHTOWEL? 183 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,995 I DIDN'T SEE IT. 184 00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:38,780 - EXCUSE ME. - HMM? 185 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:41,884 - WOULDN'T THAT WORK BETTER IF IT WAS PLUGGED IN? - OH. 186 00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:44,186 OH, OH, OH... THIS IS JUST A TEST RUN. 187 00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,455 I HAVE TO CHECK THE RUG FIRST 188 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,746 BECAUSE ALL CARPETING'S DIFFERENT, YOU KNOW? 189 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,162 "MY DIARY." 190 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,432 CHRISSY? 191 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:13,804 "THE ONE MAN I TRULY LOVE..." 192 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:23,714 "OLDER MAN WHO LIVES IN THE APARTMENT BENEATH ME." 193 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:32,123 "SENSUAL FINGERS"? 194 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,466 OH MY GOD! 195 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,455 HELEN? 196 00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,790 HELEN! 197 00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:56,792 - HI, MR. ROPER. - HI, JANET. 198 00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:58,794 - JANET! - YEAH? 199 00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:01,530 - WOULD COME IN HERE FOR A MINUTE? - OKAY, JUST A MINUTE. 200 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,532 - HI. - HI. 201 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,324 - WHAT'S UP? - UP? NOTHING'S UP. 202 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,438 I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING. 203 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,440 OKAY. 204 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:14,610 - DO YOU NEED ANYTHING UPSTAIRS? - NO, NOTHING. 205 00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,945 - YOU HAVE ENOUGH HOT WATER? - PLENTY. 206 00:12:16,969 --> 00:12:19,529 DOES CHRISSY GO FOR OLDER GUYS? 207 00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:24,587 - WHAT? - I'M SORRY. 208 00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:27,356 I WORRY ABOUT YOU GIRLS LIVING ALL ALONE IN THIS BIG CITY. 209 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,365 MR. ROPER, THAT'S NICE OF YOU, BUT I GOT... 210 00:12:29,389 --> 00:12:30,326 ESPECIALLY CHRISSY, 211 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:33,551 - BECAUSE SHE'S GOT A LOT OF GUYS AFTER HER. - SURE, YEAH. 212 00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:38,767 SO... WHAT KIND OF GUYS DOES SHE LIKE? 213 00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:40,769 CHRISSY? 214 00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:42,972 SHE LIKES GUYS WHO ARE PRETTY SHARP DRESSERS. 215 00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:45,663 YEAH? 216 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,446 SHE LIKES A MAN WHO IS INTELLIGENT, 217 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,670 GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR. VERY GOOD-LOOKING. 218 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,352 THAT'S WHAT I WAS AFRAID OF. 219 00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:59,922 YOU KNOW, MR. ROPER, I WILL TELL YOU ONE THING ABOUT CHRISSY... 220 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,959 IF SHE EVER FELL FOR SOMEBODY, HE'D BE THE ONLY THING IN HER LIFE. 221 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,227 - SHE'D REALLY HANG ON TO HIM. - OH BOY. 222 00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:09,019 - OH YEAH, SHE WOULD NEVER LET HIM GO. - OH BOY. 223 00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:12,368 NOW ME, I THINK GETTING TIED DOWN RIGHT NOW... 224 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:15,071 THAT'S INTERESTING, WE'LL HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT SOMETIME. 225 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,506 - I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO NOW. - YES, NICE TALKING TO YOU. 226 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:20,890 YOU AND I SHOULD CHAT MORE OFTEN. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 227 00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:24,268 OH BOY. 228 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:33,689 OH STANLEY, I THOUGHT I HEARD YOU! 229 00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:36,225 HEY, DID YOU COME BACK TO POSE FOR ME? 230 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:39,061 NOT NOW, HELEN, I'VE GOT BUSINESS TO TAKE CARE OF. 231 00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:42,298 - WHAT ARE WRITING? - AN EVICTION NOTICE. 232 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:46,168 AN EVICTION NOTICE? WELL, FOR WHOM? 233 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,152 I'M THROWING OUT THE KIDS UPSTAIRS. 234 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:52,741 THOSE NICE KIDS? WHY? 235 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:56,011 WHY? TO SAVE OUR MARRIAGE, THAT'S WHY! 236 00:13:56,035 --> 00:13:58,569 WHAT? 237 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:04,153 YOU MAY AS WELL KNOW THE TRUTH, HELEN. 238 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,410 CHRISSY'S IN LOVE WITH ME. 239 00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:13,695 HEY, STANLEY, WOULD YOU SAY THAT AGAIN? 240 00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:16,354 IT... IT... (laughs) 241 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:21,303 IT SOUNDED LIKE "CHRISSY'S IN LOVE WITH ME." 242 00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:23,361 THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 243 00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:27,965 (laughing) 244 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,649 WHY DO YOU THINK SHE CALLED ME THREE TIMES LAST WEEK 245 00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:36,641 TO FIX HER LEAKY FAUCET? SHE'S CRAZY ABOUT ME. 246 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:44,660 THIS IS SERIOUS, HELEN! 247 00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:47,604 AND SHE'S NOT JUST INTERESTED IN ME FOR MY PLUMBING. 248 00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:53,524 OH STANLEY. 249 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,972 AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT... 250 00:14:56,996 --> 00:15:00,465 WALKING AROUND IN MY T-SHIRT AND BERMUDA SHORTS... 251 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:05,181 I MEAN, HOW MUCH CAN A GIRL TAKE? 252 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:09,151 COME ON, STANLEY, YOU DON'T REALLY BELIEVE THAT, DO YOU? 253 00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:11,420 SURE. HEY, IT HAPPENED ONCE BEFORE. 254 00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:14,490 REMEMBER THAT WOMAN IN 206? SHE WAS NUTS ABOUT ME. 255 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,692 YOU MEAN, THAT OLD LADY 256 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:21,018 THAT THEY PUT IN A HOME SO SHE WOULDN'T HURT HERSELF? 257 00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:25,490 I KNOW THIS IS TRUE ABOUT CHRISSY 'CAUSE I READ IT IN HER DIARY. 258 00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:29,004 OH STANLEY, 259 00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:32,374 YOU SHOULDN'T READ OTHER PEOPLE'S DIARIES. 260 00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:34,343 THEY'RE PRIVATE. 261 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:38,046 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT'S PRIVATE UNLESS I READ IT? 262 00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:40,048 WHAT? 263 00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:43,707 ANYWAY, SHE SAID THAT MY SENSUAL FINGERS DRIVE HER MAD WITH DESIRE. 264 00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:50,214 (laughing) YOUR SENSUAL FINGERS? 265 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:54,396 OH COME ON, YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING. 266 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:57,533 I'M NOT KIDDING! SHE'S YEARNING FOR ME. 267 00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,435 "YEARNING, YEARNING, YEARNING." 268 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,538 YOU'RE CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY! 269 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,474 - COME ON UPSTAIRS. I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU. - HOW? 270 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:08,110 I'LL GIVE HER THE THREE THINGS SHE'S BEEN WAITING FOR... 271 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:11,780 THE DAZZLING SMILE, THE KNOWING WINK, 272 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,916 AND A MEANINGFUL BRUSH AGAINST HER SHOULDER. 273 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:18,409 AFTER THAT, I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENS. 274 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,093 THIS IS JUST TRASH. 275 00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:27,263 I MEAN, THIS IS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE. 276 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,998 YEAH, ISN'T IT GREAT? 277 00:16:30,022 --> 00:16:31,767 YOU WOULD THINK THAT. 278 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,537 COME ON, JANET, I HAVEN'T EXACTLY SEEN YOU PUT IT DOWN. 279 00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,572 - I'M JUST CURIOUS. I AM! - MM-HMM? 280 00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,974 I AM, JACK. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M READING HERE. 281 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,978 - OH SURE. - I DON'T. JACK, I DON'T! 282 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,322 HEY, CHRISSY, YOU'VE GOT A PAGE MISSING HERE. 283 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,617 - YEAH? - YEAH, HONEY. 284 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,720 SEE, DOWN THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE, THEY'RE GETTING VERY PASSIONATE, 285 00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,956 AND THEN AT THE TOP OF THIS ONE, THEY'RE ALREADY SMOKING A CIGARETTE. 286 00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:59,461 - YOU'VE GOT THE PAGES OUT OF ORDER. - OH, YES. 287 00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:02,731 - (grunts) - WHEN DID THIS WOMAN HAVE TIME TO WRITE? 288 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,533 I DON'T KNOW. 289 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,935 SO FAR, SHE'S BUSY EVERY DAY. 290 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,505 - COME ON, JANET, LET'S GO MAKE LUNCH. - LET'S STAY IN HERE. 291 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,308 IT'LL GIVE CHRISSY A CHANCE TO GET A FEW PAGES AHEAD OF US AGAIN. 292 00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:15,172 OH GOOD IDEA, I'M REALLY... WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS... 293 00:17:17,002 --> 00:17:19,481 (doorbell rings) 294 00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:21,105 I'LL GET IT! 295 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,877 (muffled laughter) 296 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,194 HI. 297 00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,752 - HI, CHRISSY. - CAN WE COME IN, CHRISSY? 298 00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:38,456 - OF COURSE YOU CAN. - THANK YOU. 299 00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,201 IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU? 300 00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:58,108 (continued laughter) STANLEY'S FINGERS... 301 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:06,450 HELEN, SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN. 302 00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:15,159 - CHRISSY... - YES, MR. ROPER. 303 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,765 HI. 304 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,712 HI. 305 00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:26,737 NO, NO, NO. I MEAN... 306 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,474 HI. 307 00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,683 IT'S NOT A SECRET ANYMORE, CHRISSY. 308 00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:42,152 OH GOOD. 309 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:46,524 - WHAT ISN'T? - YOU KNOW... 310 00:18:48,994 --> 00:18:51,395 IS THERE SOMETHING IN YOUR EYE? 311 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:56,133 COME ON, DON'T TRY TO PRETEND. I UNDERSTAND. 312 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:03,240 YOU UNDERSTAND? I UNDERSTAND. 313 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,458 GOOD. 314 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,827 I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE KITCHEN BURNING. 315 00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,617 I'LL CHECK. 316 00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:18,567 YOU'RE MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF, STANLEY. 317 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,537 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY IS SHE PLAYING SO HARD TO GET? 318 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,728 LOOK WHAT SHE'S GETTING. 319 00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,545 JUST CALM DOWN. NOW WAIT A MINUTE. 320 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:32,514 - THE ROPERS CAME IN AND THEN WHAT? - HE MADE A PASS AT ME! 321 00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:34,282 - ROPER? - YES! 322 00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:36,518 - YOU'VE GOT TO BE IMAGINING THINGS. - I AM NOT. 323 00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:39,254 WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I CAME IN AND DID THIS TO YOU... 324 00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:42,946 HI... AND THEN I DID THIS... 325 00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:46,083 AND THEN I DID THIS? 326 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:51,500 I'D THINK WE WERE ENGAGED. COME HERE. JANET, WILL YOU LEAVE... 327 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,702 COME ON, PLEASE, GO SEE IF HE'S STILL IN THERE. 328 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,504 - WHY DO I... - PLEASE, PLEASE... 329 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,428 ALL RIGHT, OKAY, I'LL GO CHECK. 330 00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:02,244 THERE IT IS IN THE DIARY, EVERY WORD SPELLED OUT. 331 00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:04,413 I SEE, I SEE. 332 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:07,757 SO I'M CRAZY, HUH? WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY FOR YOURSELF NOW? 333 00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:12,075 THIS IS DEAR, SWEET LITTLE CHRISSY? 334 00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:16,859 IT'S THE DIARY. THAT'S IT! HE'S FOUND THE DIARY! 335 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,728 OH NO. AND HE SAW CHRISSY TYPING. 336 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,864 OH GOSH, IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW. 337 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,932 - WHAT DOES? - DON'T YOU SEE? 338 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:27,836 JUST... JUST PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER. 339 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,027 - FOUR! - NO. 340 00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:33,275 - IS IT NOT FOUR? - NO... 341 00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:35,477 - YOU TRY. - SURE. 342 00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,513 CHRISSY, CONCENTRATE. 343 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,515 ROPER THINKS IT'S YOUR DIARY, 344 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,917 AND HE THINKS HE'S THE DIGNIFIED MAN DOWNSTAIRS. 345 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:44,252 - OH NO! - YES, YES... 346 00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:47,956 YOU'D BETTER GO IN THERE AND TELL HIM THE TRUTH. 347 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,225 - ME? WHY ME? - 'CAUSE! 348 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,794 - YOU'RE THE MAN. - YEAH. 349 00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:54,630 - YOU'RE WANDA X. - I AM NOT! 350 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,832 - HE THINKS YOU ARE! - WELL... 351 00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:59,100 - JANET, GO DO IT. - WHY? 352 00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:01,303 - I'M NOT EVEN IN THAT DIARY. - NEITHER AM I! 353 00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:04,606 HOW DO WE KNOW THAT? 354 00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:06,608 ALL RIGHT, LOOK. 355 00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:09,010 WE'RE ALL GOING TO GO IN TOGETHER. WE AGREE ON THAT? 356 00:21:09,034 --> 00:21:11,012 WE AGREE ON THAT. THAT SOUNDS FAIR. 357 00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:13,504 WHY DO I HAVE TO GO FIRST? 358 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,088 OKAY, CHRISSY, 359 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,090 I THINK WE'D BETTER TALK ABOUT THIS DIARY. 360 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,749 - Chrissy: SO DO I. - WILL YOU... 361 00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:32,267 - ALL RIGHT, CHRISSY... - IT'S NOT MINE. 362 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,224 - IT'S NOT YOURS. - NO. 363 00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:40,676 JANET. JANET, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. 364 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:43,545 NO, MR. ROPER, IT'S NOT MY DIARY EITHER. 365 00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:45,903 - IT'S NOT YOURS? - NO. 366 00:21:50,275 --> 00:21:52,342 THEN WHOSE IS IT? 367 00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:05,266 OH NO! 368 00:22:05,290 --> 00:22:07,235 NO, NO, NO, NO... DON'T WORRY, MR. R, 369 00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:09,292 IT'LL BE OUR OWN LITTLE SECRET. 370 00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:14,209 MR. ROPER, IT'S NOT HIS DIARY. 371 00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:17,112 IT'S A MANUSCRIPT I'M TYPING TO MAKE A LITTLE EXTRA MONEY. 372 00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:19,480 YEAH, MR. ROPER, JUST LOOK INSIDE THE FRONT COVER. 373 00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:23,085 - AND YOU'LL SEE THE AUTHOR'S NAME. - "WANDA X"? 374 00:22:23,109 --> 00:22:25,721 UH-HUH. CHRISSY HASN'T EVEN MET HER. 375 00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:30,258 OH STANLEY, YOU ARE ROMANTIC! 376 00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:32,660 - I AM. - YEAH. 377 00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:35,731 YOU WERE GOING TO THROW THE KIDS RIGHT OUT OF THEIR APARTMENT 378 00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:38,499 - JUST TO SAVE OUR MARRIAGE! - YOU WERE?! 379 00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:41,792 - I WAS, WASN'T I? - WASN'T THAT NICE OF HIM? 380 00:22:44,397 --> 00:22:46,975 I CAN BE AS ROMANTIC AS THE NEXT GUY. 381 00:22:46,999 --> 00:22:49,144 WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME TONIGHT, HELEN. 382 00:22:49,168 --> 00:22:52,848 - FIRST, WE'LL GO OUT AND EAT, AND THEN... - OH STANLEY! 383 00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:56,374 COULDN'T WE DO THE "AND THEN" FIRST? 384 00:22:57,943 --> 00:23:01,383 OKAY, IF YOU WANT TO GO BOWLING ON AN EMPTY STOMACH. 385 00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:16,938 - $45, $50... - CHRISSY! 386 00:23:16,962 --> 00:23:20,008 $55, $56, $57, $58... 387 00:23:20,032 --> 00:23:22,210 WHERE IS WANDA? WHERE IS WANDA?! 388 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:25,213 OH I KNEW IT! SHE'S ALREADY PICKED UP HER DIARY. 389 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,750 I'M TOO LATE. WHY DID I HAVE TO MISS THE BUS TODAY? 390 00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:29,885 - NO, YOU'RE NOT TOO LATE... - I'M NOT? 391 00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:32,153 YOU ALREADY GOT THE MONEY. I DON'T... 392 00:23:32,177 --> 00:23:34,456 WAIT A MINUTE. YOU MEAN, SHE'S STILL HERE? 393 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,592 - YEAH. - WANDA'S HERE? WHERE? 394 00:23:36,616 --> 00:23:39,216 - WHERE IS WANDA? - JACK! 395 00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:44,165 - IN WASHING UP, BUT LISTEN... - GREAT, GREAT. 396 00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:46,769 DID YOU TELL HER ABOUT ME? THAT I WAS TALL, GOOD LOOKING, 397 00:23:46,793 --> 00:23:49,605 GOT MY OWN BEDROOM? 398 00:23:49,629 --> 00:23:51,907 WHY DON'T YOU GO TELL WANDA YOURSELF? 399 00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:54,543 CHRISSY, I'M ASHAMED! I CAN'T GO INTO THE BATHROOM. 400 00:23:54,567 --> 00:23:57,968 JUST GO TELL HER. I'LL JUST BE RIGHT HERE, WAITING. 401 00:24:01,874 --> 00:24:05,687 - WHO ARE YOU? - JACK, THIS IS WANDA X. 402 00:24:05,711 --> 00:24:07,689 - THIS IS OUR FRIEND, JACK TRIPPER. - HI! 403 00:24:07,713 --> 00:24:10,325 DON'T TOUCH! 404 00:24:10,349 --> 00:24:12,995 - YOU'RE WANDA X? - WANDA'S MY PEN NAME. 405 00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:14,952 MY REAL NAME IS CLARENCE SPRINGFIELD. 406 00:24:16,355 --> 00:24:19,534 CLARENCE, JACK WANTED ME TO TELL YOU THAT HE'S TALL, 407 00:24:19,558 --> 00:24:22,938 GOOD LOOKING, AND HAS HIS OWN BEDROOM. 408 00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:25,462 - REALLY? - EXCUSE ME. 409 00:24:32,171 --> 00:24:35,105 (theme music playing) 410 00:24:50,556 --> 00:24:52,968 Ritter's voice: "THREE'S COMPANY" WAS VIDEOTAPED 411 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:54,992 IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE. 29775

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