Original subtitles

As mayor of Gotham city, I have many duties.

But none tastier than judging our Annual Chili Cook-Off.

[crowd applause]

[slurping] Mm.

Ahh.

[laughing]

Ah! Oh! Ohh!

[gasping]

Hot! Too hot! Too hot!

[intense music]

[gasps]

Jo.. Joke..

[sirens blaring]

[tires screech]

It's Joker!

- Let's get out of here! - Come on!

[all shouting]

Fire alarm, ha-ha! Jalapeno fire-mouth!

I'll put it out!

You really should know better, Mr. Mayor.

Chili always gives you gas.

[laughing]

[music continues]

[theme music]

beep

vroom

boom

[music continues]

vroom

clang

[Joker laughing]

vroom

Huh?

Batsy?

[dramatic music]

Punch, Judy.

swish swish swish

[panting]

Unh!

[laughing]

Now open wide and say, "Ha."

(Batgirl) Stop me if you've heard this one.

[grunts]

Should've stopped me.

[grunting]

[growls]

(Joker) 'Just look at batsy and bitsy.'

The teamwork.

The footwork.

I want my own mini-me.

Punch, Judy!

[engine revving]

(Joker) 'Eat my dust, Bats!'

[gasping]

So, what's the plan to take down Joke..

[tires screeching]

Nice to be a part of the team.

Must be nice to have someone to watch your back.

To mold in your own likeness.

'Well, if you have a sidekick, batsy'

I want one, too.

You two don't count.

You're not sidekicks. You're goons!

I just know somewhere out there is a Joker Junior

just waiting for me to take him under my wing.

(Barbara) 'Which would make the factored equation'

two times X minus eight times X minus five.

I rock.

Excellent, Barbara.

smack

Hilarious.

Donnie.

Now, who would like to solve for X?

[chuckles]

pff-ff-ff

Oh, I-I know! I know, I know! I know!

X equals P-U!

[laughing]

Ahem-ahem.

No, Donnie. X equals one week of detention.

Aw, Mr. Harmes

isn't that harsh punishment for the class clown?

Gee, Donnie, I thought you had to be funny

to be the class clown.

[all laughing]

You people don't know funny.

I'll just go somewhere they do.

[instrumental music]

- Gee, that's funny? - Pathetic.

And the mathematician says, "X equals P-U!"

[drum music]

(male #1) 'You stink!'

Hey! You're gonna miss the best part.

Prop comedy!

[drum music]

[instrumental music]

[clapping]

Thank you. I'll be here all week.

Kid, you have some real potential.

And I know funny.

crash

You're, you're..

(Joker) A comic who only wants to make people laugh

just like you.

I'll bet no one gets your jokes, either.

Instead of laughs, I usually get detention.

See, you get sent to detention.

I get sent to the asylum. And for what?

Trying to bring a little joy into this miserable world?

Donnie, is it?

How would you like to learn from the best?

Be my, uh, apprentice?

Uh, a-apprentice?

Oh, I, I don't know, I..

Chew on it a while.

You'll see me around.

[music continues]

tick tick tick

[bell rings]

Same time tomorrow, Donnie.

I'm sure we'll have another barrel of laughs.

[lawn mower buzzing]

[intense music]

Shh!

[motor revving]

Uhh! Aa-aah! Aah!

Let me down! Let me down!

Aah! Aah! Uhh!

Get-get me down!

[laughing]

That was classic!

See how much fun we could have?

Join team Joker.

'It'll be a hoot.'

[instrumental music]

Thought I might find you brooding in this part of town.

Joker's gonna strike again.

The question is where.

Well, two heads are better than one

when they're on separate bodies.

clank

swish

[music continues]

And this is where the magic happens.

My idea factory!

Contraptions, concoctions and comical confections.

As you can see, I've been toying

with quite a few whimsies.

Whoa. I'm in prop comedy heaven.

"Revenge is a dish best served...chili."

Eh, half-baked but slightly inspired

circus fire truck homage.

It lacked that classic Joker touch, you know what I mean?

Coming up with comedy gold week after week is tough.

Which is why it's good to get some new blood

in the old clown house.

(Batgirl) 'Look, I know you never asked for a partner'

but I don't wanna be freelance forever.

What's it gonna take for me to be your official sidekick?

I mean, I could be a better Batgirl if you trained me.

[wind whistling]

[sighs] You must have a secret hideout.

Why can't we hang out there once in a while?

Then it wouldn't be a secret.

[instrumental music]

Okay, okay, I got it, I got it, I got it.

Then we set off the giant dominoes..

...and wham!

The chief gets flicked into a vat of green jelly!

Huh? Huh? Huh?

Eh, not grabbing me. What else you got?

Okay, the police banquet.

Cover the ballroom floor with mousetraps.

Doesn't scream "Joker."

Seal cops inside giant playing cards?

Uh, been there, done that.

Giant crossword puzzle maze!

Nah, too riddler.

Um..

[chewing]

[spits]

Oh! Uhh! Great.

Gum on my shoe.

Gum? Shoe?

G-gumshoe! Oh! We hit the police with a giant gumball!

That could gum up the gumshoes for days!

And with the right touch

it could have that crazy crime clown flare!

[laughing] I love it!

Construction! Wardrobe!

Wardrobe?

I can't be seen with you dressed like that.

[intense music]

[train rumbling]

(both) Huh?

[dramatic music]

[laughing maniacally]

[chuckles]

bam

[grunting]

pow

bam bam

swish

Your joke just fell flat.

Well, stand by for another, batsy.

[tires screech]

(Donnie) 'Knock, knock.'

Who's there?

(Donnie) 'Prank.'

Prank who?

Prank, your new sidekick.

[clapping]

Joker has a sidekick?

Sorry to burst your bubble, batsy.

It's your time to shine, sonny boy.

Stick around, Batman.

boom

bam

Now, Prank, remember what I taught you at the hideout.

He's been to Joker's hideout?

Why don't we have that kind of relationship?

pow

bam

[intense music]

pow

[grunting]

[whirring]

Chew on this.

bam

[grunting]

Show me what you got, clown boy.

Ohh, gross.

[laughing]

That laugh.

No way.

Huh?

bam

[groans]

The best punchline is the one you don't see coming.

[music continues]

pow

puff

(Joker) Looksie, Batman!

My sidekick is about to make your sidekick go splat!

[both laughing]

[intense music]

[grunting]

[Joker laughing]

Launch away, Prank!

[laughing]

Whoa, w-wait a minute.

If I do that, she'll..

That's right. It'll be hee-haw-larious!

Um..

I-I'm not sure I get it.

[sighs]

You yank lever, gumball go boom.

Goo everywhere, including Batgirl.

We laugh, they cry, what's not to get?

- Uh.. - Comedy is timing, Prank.

(Joker) 'So let her rip!'

[music continues]

boom

crack crack crack

I wanted to make people laugh

not hurt them.

Sounds like you and I need to take a little time-out.

Oops! Almost forgot.

pow

swish swish

clank

bam

whoosh

[upbeat music]

[engine revving]

Donnie needs our help.

Donnie?

Prank's no criminal. He's a classmate.

[intense music]

Long story.

Hopefully with a happy ending.

We'll need to pick up Joker's trail.

Covered. Popped a tracer on him.

beep beep beep

Property of Gotham PD?

I borrowed dad's.

When you don't have access to the official Bat arsenal

you improvise.

[door opens]

We have lots to do if you expect to graduate from class clown

'to crime clown.'

That's the thing, Joker.

I'm thinking maybe I'm not cut out for this.

- I blame myself. - You do?

I should've known that a costume and make-up wouldn't be enough.

No. To live the part, you have to be the part.

Wha.. What does that mean?

Come on. I'll show you.

[intense music]

Uh, where are we going?

(Joker) To a happy place for only special boys to see.

A place where crazy crime clowns are born.

Have a good look at my past

and your future.

[gasps] No!

That's right, Pranky.

It's perma-clown time!

blub blub blub

[grunts]

It was in this very chemical concoction

that I collected my clowny complexion.

And now it's your turn.

Aah!

[laughing]

[Donnie grunting]

Why so nervous?

I mean, look how I turned out.

[Donnie grunting]

Let the kid go, Joker.

I'm trying to!

Huh?

[grunting]

Grab your ducky. It's bath time.

[gasps]

pow

[groans]

[growls]

swish swish

clank clank clank

[grunting]

Can't hang on!

I got you.

[gasps]

Ah! Not helping!

[grunting]

pow

(Batgirl) 'Batman!'

[dramatic music]

[Donnie grunting]

Ya-aa-ah!

[grunts]

[snarling]

[intense music]

[laughs]

Huh?

[grunts]

[groaning]

You were right, Joker.

The best punchline is the one you don't see coming.

[instrumental music]

You know...our relationship's looking better all the time.