Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

[dramatic music]

(Batgirl) 'So someone snatched an endangered Black Leopard.'

[leaves rustling]

Since I bet that cat's worth some serious scratch..

...I'd say that narrows our list of suspects considerably

to, oh, lemme count, one.

This wasn't Catwoman.

Really? This totally purrs Catwoman.

(Batman) Just because she's a cat burglar

doesn't mean she's a cat thief.

(Batman) 'Look at the number of footprints.'

This wasn't a solo job.

Hey, you ought to consider doing this for a living.

I also doubt it's a coincidence

that the only other leopard of its kind in captivity

arrives in Gotham tomorrow

as part of Amazing Leslie's Animal Extravaganza.

[music continues]

[purring]

So, when do I get to say, "Told you so?"

[theme music]

[music continues]

[leopard growling]

It's okay, pretty kitty.

Aw.

[thud]

Now, handsome, this isn't what it looks like.

(Batgirl) Oh, lemme guess it involves space aliens

and a road trip to Fresno?

Hm, couldn't find a babysitter?

Good one, where's the other leopard?

I didn't steal the other leopard

but I am going to steal this one.

[whip cracks]

[leopard growling]

[whip cracking]

Since you two missed the show tonight..

'...here's your chance to catch The Wrestling Gorillas.'

[growling]

Sorry, fellas.

[grunting]

whoosh

Meow.

Kitty doesn't have time to play, little one.

[grunting]

thud thud

[gorillas growling]

[whip cracks]

[grunting]

- Oh. Not bad. - Just wait till I start trying.

[grunting]

Ah!

[whip cracks]

[music continues]

[gorillas growling]

(Batman) 'Playtime's over.'

[Batgirl groans]

Come on, precious.

[leopard purring]

[engine revving]

[tires screeching]

Hello...kitties.

Joker?

Ugh!

[grunting]

Twisted dreams.

[instrumental music]

Well, looks like we're back to my theory.

- Catwoman stole the leopards. - I'm not so sure.

I found a strand of hair.

Okay.

(Batman) It's green.

[intense music]

(Catwoman) I never pegged you for a cat person, Joker.

Me? I despise the mangy beasts.

You see, I snatched these kittens

for a recent business acquaintance.

Mr. Killgore Steed.

The Killgore Steed?

That creep hunts endangered species on his private island.

Well, in exchange for those leopards

Killgore has promised to deliver me the real cat's meow!

[laughing]

You're lucky I'm tied up.

Bringing us back to the subject

I've always been told there's ...more than one way

to skin a cat.

whoosh

[music continues]

(Joker) A true classic!

'Of course, I tweaked the punchline a smidge.'

'Modern audiences like their humor'

'with a little more...bite!'

[Joker laughing]

[intense music]

And here I thought curiosity killed the cat.

[laughs]

[tires screeching]

crash

[dramatic music]

My heroes.

clank

vroom vroom vroom

crash

thud thud thud

Help her.

[whizzing]

bang

bang bang

crash

(Joker) Come on, boys.

[engine revving]

The cats.

[laughing]

[music continues]

Come on, we need to go get those cats.

Uh, we?

You're after the pound, Catwoman.

Let's not be hasty, handsome.

Do you know where Joker's headed?

Hm, didn't think so.

Well, I do..

...and if we don't hunt them down toot sweet

someone else will.

You're not falling for this?

Lead the way.

Catwoman leading the way

isn't that like calling in Penguin for backup?

[intense music]

[whistling "Row Row Row Your Boat"]

[humming]

(Joker) 'Land, ho! Ho-ho-ho.'

Let's collect my booty, boys.

(Catwoman) For years, Killgore Steed's been getting his kicks

by hunting the rarest of the rare.

Wild animals belong in the wild.

Not in cages, not wearing silly costumes

and especially not being hunted.

You're pretty hardcore about this.

Hm, animals are what make me purr.

When you're not hunting jewels.

[chuckles] Always the sourpuss.

I bet he never lets you drive.

He barely lets me sidekick.

[engine revving]

[music continues]

[knocking]

[camera whirring]

Knock, knock.

[door creaks]

Evening, Joker.

You're supposed to say "Who's there?"

[leopards growling]

You've done well.

Hm. Manly decor.

(Killgore) My trophies.

Each and every one imported to my island.

So I can hunt them within my...private safari.

Ah!

'What an amazing maze!'

Adds to the thrill of the hunt, it would seem.

[dials squeaking]

[boar squealing]

[growling]

In you go, kitties.

[leopards growling]

[gates whirring]

I believe you have something for me.

[music continues]

[hyenas laughing]

Ahh!

They're gorgeous.

(Killgore) Albino Hyenas, the rarest of the rare.

[laughing]

Think they look like their pa?

Ooh! I-I wanna be sure the pups have a good sense of humor.

And how do you determine that?

With a joke, of course.

[snaps fingers]

[grunting]

[squirts]

[Killgore coughing]

[grunting]

[coughing]

[dramatic music]

[hyenas laughing]

They know funny.

[beeping]

I know your heart was set on the cat hunt..

...but would it upset you much if it was a cat and two bats?

[Joker laughing]

If they've done anything to those cats

I will scratch their eyes out.

You almost sound like you're going hero on us.

Hey, for the right cause.

You should give it a try, you might actually

make a good-good guy.

I'd need a sidekick.

And with a few costume adjustments

you're not too far from being a Catgirl.

Killgore's compound is supposed to be littered with traps.

[dramatic music]

[all gasp]

[intense music]

(Joker on speaker) 'Now hold those poses.'

That's how I want you to look

when you're stuffed and mounted on my wall.

- What's your game, Joker? - The three of you, of course.

But before we play, there are few simple ground rules.

'Nuh-ah-ah!'

Rule number one, no gadgets

or the pretty kitties take the express train..

'...from endangered to extinct.'

No.

[music continues]

clank

[whirring]

clang clang clang

[laughing]

My own Bat and Cat toys.

(Catwoman) Why are you doing this?

'Cause my growing boys here need fresh meat

'and plenty of it.'

'Ooh, lookie, a rare poisonous arachnid wants to join the fun.'

Well, the more the merrier.

'Off you go, Legs McGee.'

[music continues]

(Joker) 'Now, on your mark!'

[walls rumbling]

(Joker) 'Get set..'

[whirring]

Run for your lives.

[dramatic music]

[rumbling]

crash

Just a little something to help keep our eyes' on the prizes.

[device beeping]

[dramatic music]

[spider hisses]

Moss, too slippery to climb.

[gunshot]

[gunshots]

[whizzing]

[gunshots]

[whirring]

[sizzling]

thud

bam

[music continues]

[hissing]

thud

[growling]

screech

[gasps]

Oh, boys!

Dinner is served.

[hyenas laugh]

Can't bear to look.

[Catwoman laughing]

Come on.

[laughing] Cut it out, that tickles.

Boys! Sic her! She's a cat!

What kind of crazy canines are you?

Sorry to burst your balloon, Joker

but hyenas are more closely related to cats than dogs.

Oh, and, by the way, they're laughing at you.

Well, I'm gonna have the last laugh.

[gunshot]

Hyah!

[Joker grunts]

[music continues]

whoosh whoosh whoosh

[beeping]

[intense music]

[gunshots]

[whirring]

bam

[device beeping]

Time to find the others.

Ugh!

[hissing]

[growling]

[grunting]

[hissing]

[walls rumbling]

[spider snarling]

bang

Huh!

[device beeping]

(Batgirl) 'Roadmap to Catwoman.'

[music continues]

Hyah!

[Joker grunting]

[whip cracks]

[groans]

[Joker grunts]

Joker-brand Catnip will give you a Cheshire grin.

(Batman) Not if I can help it.

[groans]

You busted my boutonniere.

You're lucky that's all.

[hyenas laughing]

Shut up.

Aah...ha!

[whizzing]

[Joker laughing]

Take this.

Find the cats.

[music continues]

[grunting]

(Batman) 'Biometrics, Joker.'

What are you, eh, prattling on about, Batsy?

It only opens for me.

Then I'll just belt you one!

[grunting]

bam

(Catwoman) Momma's here, babies.

Looks like "Smiley" could use some joker gas antidote.

Let's get these leopards back to their owners.

Oh, yeah, about that.

smack

[groans]

Ow, hey!

Sorry, kid, but I've taken a shine to these darlings.

And seriously, if you ever decide to make the switch

from sidekick to partner-in-crime..

I'll be sure to look you up.

[intense music]

[leopards growling]

Uh! Here, kitty-kitty, come on!

Ugh! What are you waiting for? Come on!

You of all people should know ...cats don't like water.

Or being caged.

Always the sourpuss.

[ship engine revving]

[instrumental music]

Can't believe I thought there was some good in her.

I should've warned you about her tricks.

She's a sly one.

I guess leopards don't change their spots.

You know, it was your instinct

not to trust her in the first place.

That mean you'll keep me?

You make a better Batgirl than a Catgirl.

Good...never was much of a cat person anyway.

[theme music]